“Yes, that smells divine. Haybale, how is that peppered tuna tataki coming along?”
“Do what, now?”
“The tataki. How much longer?”
“Ya didn’t say nothin’ about no pepper toe cocky!”
“Yes, yes, it is written down in the blackest of ink, I promise you.”
“Lady, I promise you I didn’t get no order.”
“Then I suggest you unplug those canals and I will relay it to you once again.”
“Yeah, I reckon I might relay my hoof up your ass, too. How’s that sound?”
“It sounds like I need one tuna tataki marinated in vinegar and seasoned with ginger. Please do not spare the pepper. Am I getting through to you?”
“Bitch.”
“Right. I will return once I refill their drinks. Please have everything in order this time, yes?”
“Anythin’ for the lovely slave driver.”
“Thank you, Haybale.”
The head chef buzzed through the kitchen’s swinging doors and made a bee line for the first empty glass. Princess Celestia offered a faint smile and watched the red wine rise to the brim.
“That’s plenty,” she said with a slight nod of the head. The chef returned the gesture and scurried away to the next glass on the dining table. Sitting adjacent to her older sister, Princess Luna greeted the chef with little more than a curt exchange of eye contact. Her glass was filled, and then the chef continued on her way.
Luna surveyed the lonesome expanse of the dining room and released a sigh from the deepest pit of her lungs.
“Celestia, may I inquire?”
“You may.”
“I understand that traditions may have faltered during my isolation on the moon, but...” Her eyes laggardly wandered to each and every empty chair that adorned the table. She drew a breath and said, “Is it customary to keep the rulers of Equestria waiting during matters of great importance?”
Celestia rolled her eyes and recovered with a smile before she said, “Worry not, little sister. They will come.”
“Please do not placate me.”
“Now, now. Patience is a virtue during these times. You should know this better than anypony.”
Luna bit her tongue and shook her head. With the use of her magic, she lifted the glass of wine to her lips and partook in a gentle sip. However, there was sheer force behind her slamming the glass down on the table and this warranted a sideways glance from the head chef. Luna huffed in the general direction of the chef, who wasted no time in bolting straight for the kitchen doors.
Celestia chuckled and said, “Do be kind to that one. You know how she fears you.”
“As she should! She has nary a right to stare at her superior like some...lustful dog!”
“She is but a gryphon, and as hardworking as they come.”
“I do not care if she is the most hardworking of all the rats beneath our hooves; I forbid that she lay a claw on my meals tonight.”
“Oh?” Celestia looked to her sibling and arched a brow inquisitively when she said, “And I suppose you’ll be fetching your precious tataki all on your own?”
Luna shrugged.
“Really, sister,” said Celestia. “Asking for such a human oddity? They’ll be searching for ingredients until they resort to cannibalism.”
“Then we shall see if your gryphon is truly deserving of her reputation.”
Just then, the daunting double doors of the dining room creaked open to reveal the first guest of honor.
“Ah, so good to see that my aunt’s old ways are still burning strong. I was afraid that tonight’s gathering would be boring.”
He entered with his muzzle raised to the ceiling. His hooves graced the red carpet with great precision. A slimy tongue crept from between his lips and it slid from one cheek to the other before it retreated into the maw.
“Have you no shred of dignity?” Luna spat. “It has been nearly fifteen minutes since the moment we took our seats, and here you are!”
“Prince Blueblood.” Celestia welcomed her distant relative with a smile that was far more taxing than she would have cared to admit. “We are always delighted to have you in our company, despite whether or not your presence is...on point.”
Blueblood smirked and chose the seat from the opposite end of the table. As soon as his rump made contact with the chair, the prince clapped his hooves above his head. The head chef burst from the kitchen and flew straight for the stallion that summoned her.
“Yes, my prince?”
“I understand that my aunt, here, has some rather harsh feelings towards you.” Blueblood looked over at Luna with a playful grin, and then he turned back to the chef. “How does this make you feel?”
The gryphon’s eyes practically inflated with shock. “Me?”
“Yes, you.” The prince stopped himself from chuckling and said, “My word, you have the privilege to speak freely; don’t let my family tell you any differently.”
“Well,” the gryphon began. “I...um...it does not matter, my prince.”
“It doesn’t?” Blueblood’s brows rose together at once. “Surely, you must feel contempt for her. Am I wrong?”
The gryphon’s gaze fell to the floor and her voice began to tremble. “That isn’t it. I mean to say that...um...”
“Oh, enough,” the prince said as he reclined. “I’ll have a glass of wine.”
The chef remained where she stood for an uncomfortably long time. She lingered there until the prince finally took notice. Blueblood’s cheeks flared up in a red hue and he sat up in his chair.
“I say, must I repeat myself?” he asked.
“I’m sorry, my prince, it’s just...will you be wanting any hors d’oeuvres?”
“No, no.” Blueblood waved a hoof and looked away. “No food. Just give me the wine.”
“As you wish,” she said. The chef bowed her head and then she whirled around to retreat towards the kitchen. From outside, there was a blinding flash, followed by the muffled grumble of thunder; little armies of water droplets joined the fray and assaulted the windows.
The sun had begun to recede behind the surrounding mountains, and this ushered in a dozen maids from all directions. Each mare was tasked with the lighting of the candles, of which there were many. The servants scattered amongst themselves like ants in a colony while the royal family remained still and watched.
“Thank you,” said Princess Celestia. She hadn’t addressed anypony in particular, but merely the collection of maids as a whole. Her attention hopped from one pony to the next, gracing each and every soul with a warm expression that could only be compared to that of a mother’s love for her children.
“I say, who the hell are we waiting on?” Blueblood rested his chin on a hoof and lethargically buzzed his lips. Princess Luna narrowed her eyes.
“One would assume that a prince would be familiar with his own family,” she said.
“Ah, so we’re expecting visitors from the Crystal Empire?” Blueblood watched Luna through the alternating spaces that formed in the sea of maids.
“They are not simply common visitors, but they are your flesh and blood!” Luna raised her voice in a battle to overpower the hustle and bustle of the servants. .
The prince shrugged and he said, “Well, one of them, perhaps.”
This was when Celestia tilted her head to the side and waited until her nephew locked eyes with her.
“Blueblood,” she said. “I am confident that you will be on your best behavior for tonight.” She paused and looked over at the other princess. “You know very well how Luna tends to misinterpret your sense of humor.”
“Sister...” Princess Luna gritted her teeth and filled her chest with enough air to blow a little pig’s house down.
“Now, now. Calm yourself,” said Celestia, and she retained her motherly demeanor with a knowing smirk. The prince’s face contorted with childlike excitement and he guffawed wildly, repeatedly slamming a hoof on the table. The maids, in addition to the bickering princesses, stopped in their tracks and turned to marvel at the scene.
“Please,” Luna spoke with her voice residing low and constrained. “Tell us all what you find to be so infinitely amusing.”
Blueblood’s breaths slowed and retreated to a normal pace once again. He wiped a tear from his eye and he cleared his throat.
“Oh, but it’s you!”
“Excuse me?” Luna snapped back. The prince extended his hooves out to either side of himself, almost as though to offer a hug from afar.
“Aunt Luna, you know me better than that! It’s all in jest, I assure you!”
The princess could only blink to express her confusion. The maids turned their attention to Luna and they waited for a reaction that would have compensated for their degrading hardships. However, she felt herself refrain from losing her temper. Instead, she curled her lips and she said, “If you were not my nephew, you would be on your way to lose your head.”
This summoned another guttural chuckle from the prince. “And when, pray tell, did Equestria’s latest execution take place? A hundred years ago? A thousand?”
Luna shook her head and decided to quell her frustration with a gulp of red wine.
But Blueblood wasn’t finished. “I say, at your age, I suppose that must feel like it was yesterday.”
And with that remark, Luna lurched forward and sprayed wine from her mouth and all across the tabletop. There was a light giggle from the left of her. She whipped her head to the side and saw that Celestia was trying her best to conceal a grin. A flash of lightning filled the room with a white light for a mere instant, just before it was superseded by a thundering roar.
Before Luna could explode, the double doors burst open to reveal a pair of familiar faces. A mare lead the way, rushing to her seat at the table before anypony could say a word.
“Sorry we’re late,” she said as she sat down. “Traffic was dreadful, and then there was this storm that just came out of nowhere. I would’ve gotten soaked if we didn’t take the stagecoach. At first, I was afraid that the wind would take us right down, but I was able to calm myself and just enjoy the ride after a short while. I actually quite liked the sound of the rain hitting our carriage.”
There wasn’t a soul at the table who knew the words to say in the matter. Everypony exchanged glances with one another as if to search for somepony who was willing to speak up and humor the princess.
Having lit all of the remaining candles, as well as having stayed to bear witness to an entertaining scuffle of horseplay, the maids silently agreed that this was an opportune time to take their leave, and they dispersed without any trace of a pattern or systematic order.
“Cadence,” said the stallion that sluggishly followed her in. He left behind him a trail of water. His mane was a matted mess and his clothes were drenched beyond hope of ever retaining their former likeness. “I thought we could share the umbrella.”
“Oh, Shining, sweetie, there was only room for one. I appreciate it, though.”
“Of course.” Shining Armor sighed and continued to slosh his way to Cadence’s neighboring chair.
“C’mon, Shining, everypony’s looking at you.”
Nevertheless, the prince made no effort to escalate his trek to the table. Blueblood stole a sip of wine from his glass and eyed Cadence with a look of curiosity.
“Did you say you encountered obstacles on your way here?”
The princess popped her head in Blueblood’s direction and provided a feigned giggle. “Yes, lots of traffic. It was dreadful.”
“Mhm.” Blueblood nodded and arched a brow. “Lots of traffic up there in the sky?”
“Well, not usually. I think we passed at least two pegasi, though.”
“Actually,” Shining Armor spoke up while he trudged along. “We might have gotten here sooner if Cadence hadn’t spent so much time in the bathroom.”
“Thank you, sweetie.” Cadence smiled and cocked her head to the side. “So nice to tell everypony all about our business at home. Is there anything else you’d like to share?”
The prince finally arrived at his spot at the table and plopped down to sit next to his wife. “Nope.”
“Good.” She turned to the other ponies and shrugged her shoulders. “I suppose I could have spent less time in front of my mirror, but I couldn’t just show up without putting forth a little effort in my presentation. I mean, this is a big deal. When I received the letter in the mail, I could already tell how important this night would be. Oh, you should have seen me this morning. I was quite the mess. I just couldn’t wait to get up and pick out the perfect dress for tonight. Do you like it?”
She briefly stood up and twirled around to display her exquisite ensemble. As she spun in a circle, everypony realized all at once that nopony knew who she was speaking to.
Princess Luna decided that she would take this time to further continue the flow of conversation. “It is rather lovely. We are all very pleased that the two of you could attend the dinner unscathed.”
“Thank you,” Cadence bowed her head before she sat down again. However, Blueblood now had his gaze fixated upon Luna in such a way that implied a motive of mischievous intent.
“Really, now?” he asked aloud. All eyes zipped over to Blueblood. “Pardon me, but I was under the impression that those who tarry received a swift execution.”
Cadence gasped and looked left and right. “What? Who’s getting executed?”
“Nopony is getting executed,” said Shining Armor with no more than a whisper.
Luna directed her attention to Blueblood and she said, “Forgive me if my words cut too deeply, but I fail to understand the plight of descending a staircase in time for dinner. Your cousin, on the other hoof, has made a noble effort to endure these harsh weather conditions in hopes of attending; for that, I am grateful.”
Princess Cadence seemed to have paid no mind to the expressions of gratitude. “Was somepony executed recently?”
“Nopony was executed,” said Shining Armor once more.
“How do you know?”
“We would have heard about it.”
The kitchen doors swung open and gave way to a small army of stallions adorned with milky white coats and mushroom clouds atop their heads. Each stallion came equipped with a cold, steel cart that rolled across the floor on four wheels that were tucked away underneath the contraption, hidden from view. Leading the battalion up front was the head chef. The gryphon clasped her gilded claws together and cleared her throat.
“Ladies and gentlecolts, dinner is served.”
“Splendid!” Blueblood showed his teeth.
“Excuse me,” said Princess Luna. The head chef threw herself to the side of the princess and she bowed in order to make eye contact with the red carpet.
“Yes, Your Grace?”
“The tataki,” Luna muttered.
“Ah, indeed. The tataki.” The head chef stiffened her spine upright and she made her best effort to look into the poisonous visage of the princess. She said, “I do apologize, but there was a minor issue with your order.”
Princess Luna gently closed her eyelids and she failed to stave off a light chuckle. “As expected.”
“Your Grace,” said the head chef. “Might I interest you in an alternative selection? The hay sandwiches came out quite nicely.”
The head chef spotted a white stallion on the move and she motioned for him with her claw. The stallion screeched to a halt and he wheeled his cart around.
“Hay sandwiches,” Luna said with a dry disposition. Her cheekbones tightened and hoisted her lips to form a crooked smile. “I grew up with hay sandwiches. I have been gorging myself with those wretched little things my entire life.”
While she spoke, the white stallion that was beckoned earlier had plotted a course to Princess Celestia’s seat. She was bestowed with a silver plate that served as the foundation for two exceptionally crafted hay sandwiches.
“I understand, Your Grace,” said the head chef.
“You do? Truly?”
The head chef said nothing. She wore a face of frozen features.
“Well, I suppose you would,” Luna said before she wettened her tongue with a glass of wine. “After all, they are the spawn of your spatula. One would think that somepony with your expertise would offer more...variety. Perhaps one would think that you possess no expertise at all.”
“I apologize, Your Grace.”
“I do not care for your words. They are petty, they lack sincerity, and if I am being completely frank, your presence disgusts me.”
The dining room was aghast and everypony stood still as if to avoid harboring any attention to themselves. Prince Blueblood, however, released a giddy howl from the pits of his diaphragm.
“Aunt Luna, those are words befitting of a fighter,” said Blueblood. “I never took you for the fighting sort. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have one of the guards fend off this...ferocious gryphon? Why, she looks ready to strike at any moment.”
“That will be enough,” Princess Celestia stated. Prince Blueblood looked aside and raised his eyebrows in surprise. The head chef beamed brightly, but then she quickly tucked her chin to shroud her expression.
“Do you find my nephew amusing?” Luna spoke. Her words tore away at the head chef’s defenses and belittled her to nothing more than a lowly servant.
“No, Your Grace. My apologies.” The head chef bowed her head.
“Leave me.”
“Your Grace, will you not be eating tonight?”
“It would seem that way. Now, leave me at once before I heed my nephew’s advice and have the guards serve your precious head around the table.”
From across the table, Cadence and Shining Armor were presented with their dinner, which consisted of a simple serving of salad for the mare and stallion. The head chef, having made a hasty retreat from Luna, hovered between the loving couple with a refined bottle of wine in her claws. She leaned over the table and aimed to pour the red, red stuff into the glass. Princess Cadence was quick to shoot her hoof forward and cover the top of the glass with her limb. The head chef looked to the princess, who smiled and shook her head in a polite fashion.
“Thank you, but we won’t be having any,” Cadence said.
“Oh, very well,” the head chef recoiled and turned to pour some wine into Shining Armor’s glass instead. The stallion perked up at the sight of alcohol and he sat up straight from the edge of his seat like an eager colt on his birthday.
“Ahem!” Princess Cadence ended the ordeal with her blatantly intentional exclamation. “I said we won’t be having any wine. That means him, too.”
“I see,” said the head chef, who promptly scurried away from the two, almost as if to avoid an oncoming storm.
“Honey, are you sure we can’t just...have a little bit to drink,” Shining said beneath his very own breath.
“Oh, stop. You know how you get when you drink. I’d rather not be embarrassed tonight.”
“But we’re here with family.”
“And you’re here with me. What’s your point?”
“It’s sort of a special occasion. I never get to just relax and drink anymore.”
“Well, maybe if you could control yourself after you’ve had only one glass, and maybe if you didn’t run around the place with your helmet on backwards after you’ve had two glasses, and maybe if you didn’t use that helmet as a toilet after the third glass, then maybe you could have a drink tonight.”
Shining Armor reclined into his seat and folded his hooves. “You change that story every time you tell it.”
“So sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear,” said Blueblood. He wore a cheeky grin and he said, “But did you say that you won’t be having any wine?”
“That’s right,” Princess Cadence spoke with a guarded inflection; she was wary of the impish nature of this one.
“May I ask why?”
“Well, we just don’t need anymore bitterness in our lives for the time being.” Cadence directed the words at Blueblood in an all-out attack. Rather than conjure up a biting remark, the prince glanced over at Shining Armor, who appeared to be gawking at Blueblood’s glass of wine. Shining licked his lips, and Blueblood smiled.
Another white stallion passed by with his silver cart and screeched to a halt behind Blueblood. He inched over the prince’s shoulder and he said, “Will you be-”
“No food. Carry on,” Blueblood said simply, and so the white stallion continued on his way. “My, there certainly are too many cooks.”
The head chef used this opportunity to her advantage and she buzzed through the kitchen doors. In an instant, she was a mess and a conglomeration of raw emotions. Her legs caved in and she nearly made facial contact with the hard floor, had it not been for the assistance of her most trusted companion.
“Haybale,” she wheezed.
“Easy, now. Lean into me. What the hell happened?”
“Haybale, I can’t deal with these ponies anymore.”
“What did they go and do this time?”
“They’re awful. They have no respect for my staff. They would rather discuss their clothing and...executions...and all of this and that, and not even a single ‘thank you’ was said.”
“You sure? Celestia usually knows how to act proper.”
“Perhaps she did. I don’t remember. But you should have seen the way they looked at me. You could tell they wanted me dead, right from the time I walked in.”
“They got their heads up their asses farther than the eye can see. ‘Course they don’t give a shit about you.”
“I know, I know. You’re right.”
“Damn, I never seen you this rustled up before.”
“The royal family tends to have that effect on me.”
“You gotta go back out there?”
“Eventually, yes. They’ll be needing somepony to wipe their mouths and rub their bellies, I’m sure.”
“Lemme cover for ya.”
“What?”
“Yeah, just take it easy for a sec. Get yourself a drink and wash the demons away.”
“Unacceptable.”
“Now, look-”
“No. I appreciate your concern, Haybale, I really do.”
“Then lemme just say somethin’ to em.”
“I took on this responsibility, so I need to see this through to the end.”
“I mean, if that’s the way you feel about it and all. It just ain’t right, the way they treat you. You work harder than any of them have worked in their whole damn lives.”
“That wouldn’t surprise me.”
“Pampered little shits is what they are.”
“Indeed. It would certainly benefit Equestria if they would all drop dead.”
“Yeah? And you’d go and make yourself queen?”
“Maybe. Would you be my king?”
“Shit, and walk around with a stick up my ass?”
“Yes, I suppose that would be quite the sight to see.”
“Nah, my place is right here. Might suck every now and then, but I could think of worse jobs; bein’ a king is definitely one of em’.”
“Perhaps.”
In the dining room, Princess Celestia finally began with the ordeal that so many had anticipated since the second they had entered. She scanned the vicinity and made note of everypony that was present, then she tapped her wine glass with a dainty hoof. The others were coaxed into a deathly silence and they all looked to their superior with open eyes and open ears.
“Thank you all for coming. Now that we have had the pleasure of...reacquainting ourselves, I think now is a good time to discuss the affairs outside. As you all know, there have been a disturbing number of deaths reported throughout Equestria.”
The silence of the room continued to strive, all except the small sound of Cadence shuffling in her chair.
“Did she say deaths?” Cadence spun around to face her husband for an answer.
“Honey, you already knew about this.”
“I did? When? When did I know about this?”
“Seriously? You couldn’t look away from that mirror for one minute to hear me tell you...I don’t know, it must’ve been every other day.”
“You told me?”
“Yes, Cadence! You knew about this!” Shining Armor lifted a hoof to his face and he sighed. Defeated and downtrodden, the prince sunk into his seat and said, “She knew about this.”
The words were meant for nopony in particular, and Princess Celestia merely giggled at the lovers’ quarrel before she continued with her opening address.
“Now, now. I’m certain that the worst is far behind us,” she said. “Although our numbers are...dwindling, I believe that there’s still a chance to prevent any further casualties.”
Princess Cadence raised her hoof and wriggled it through the air. She said, “What’s killing everypony? I mean, if this is really happening.”
Shining Armor grumbled.
“What was that, sweetie?”
“Nothing.”
“He said it’s a disease,” spoke Prince Blueblood. “And his word certainly rings true. I say, have you not heard the gossip that feels its way through the castle cracks?”
“Disease?” Cadence gazed into an endless void of space. The idea was embedded into her brain matter, and she envisioned hoards of sickly ponies forming jagged lines that twisted and coiled throughout sterilized waiting rooms, like brambles in a barren place forgotten by time. She asked, “What about the doctors?”
“It’s a little bigger than that, honey,” said Shining Armor.
Another fleeting moment filled the chamber until Princess Luna chose to chime in.
“It is a rather inopportune development that we see ourselves faced with,” she said. “But it would appear that even our most highly skilled physicians did not feel that such a task was viable.”
Blueblood gulped a swig of the crimson wine and he said, “Oh, but Aunt Luna, you’ve failed to mention the most peculiar detail of all.”
“Please, elaborate for us.”
“They say that the afflicted drop to the ground in just an hour after exposure,” he eyed Princess Cadence and leaned forward before he spoke once more. “And there are reports of ponies emptying their stomachs upon the streets, bleeding from every orifice until-”
“That will do, Blueblood,” Luna interjected. “There was a reason for my mincing words.”
Cadence gingerly lifted her fork to her mouth and scarfed down a flaky chunk of her salad; the tales of death and decay appeared to have gone unheard by the princess.
“Yes, of course,” said Blueblood before he receded into the confines of his chair. “My apologies.”
The words slithered through his teeth and permeated the air with facetious intent. Naturally, his Aunt Luna was unphased by the wily attack and thought to make better use of her attention where it was undoubtedly needed more.
“Please, sister, continue,” she said.
Princess Celestia nodded as a means to thank her sibling, and then she spoke.
“We have been informed that these deaths have multiplied at an alarming rate. But let us not panic, for this is truly a time when keeping calm matters most. Cadence, I look to you and I see somepony who has Equestria’s best interests in mind.”
Cadence took another bite of her salad and she suddenly looked up from her plate like an infant caught in a cookie jar.
“We should all follow your example and remain positive. Continue to look for hope in the darkest of hours.”
An extended stretch of silence followed suit.
“I say, is that it?” Blueblood’s visage was that of unquestionable disbelief. “You would have your subjects look away from the death and decay? Tell me, how will this save your kingdom?”
“I understand your concerns, which is why we are here tonight. I wish to hear from each and every one of you. Please, lend me your thoughts. We are gathered so that we may formulate the best course of action.”
“Well, now. That sounds more like a plan,” said Blueblood.
“Why do you care so much about what I eat?” From across the table, Shining Armor relayed these words with more volume than he had intended.
“Because you need to watch your figure.” Princess Cadence retaliated shortly after having swiped another bite of the weightless salad. “Stay nice and lean. I like a lean stallion.”
“One steak isn’t gonna make me fat, honey.”
“No, but it’ll be one steak tonight, and then it’ll be two steaks tomorrow, and then you’ll be stowed away in your study for days to come, eating steaks and getting rounder than that head of yours.”
“My head isn’t round,” Shining said below a whisper.
“Aw, sweetie. Don’t feel so bad about it. It’s only round when you look at it straight-on. Any other side of you looks just fine.”
“Whatever. The salad here tastes like bull manure. When that gryphon comes out here, I’m asking for a steak.”
“Oh, I don’t believe you will.” Cadence rotated in her seat and faced her husband with a rigid posture that could strike fear in even the most seasoned of hunters.
“Are you serious?”
“What do you think? Would I be making a scene if I was just kidding?”
“I mean...”
“Just look at what you’re making me do! Now everypony’s watching.”
“Hey, you said it yourself. You’re the one making a scene here. I’m just waiting for you to stop.”
“All because of a stupid steak. All the time, this is what I have to deal with. You can never just let things go.”
“You wanna maybe keep your voice down?”
“Excuse me?”
“Look, I’m sorry. Alright? Just please shut up.”
“How could you even say that to me? I am your wife.”
“And I’m your husband! A very pissed off husband, actually! You ever think about what I have to say? You ever stop for once in your life and think that maybe not everypony gives a shit about your dress that you flash everywhere?”
Cadence curled her lips and forced back a choking sob. Her voice cracked and her eyes began to glisten and reflect the room through a pair of wettened lenses. Shining Armor heaved a long sigh and he stood from his chair. He looked to the other members of the family with a yearning to escape that was almost tangible.
“Forgive me, but I need to use the restroom.” The prince left the table and headed towards the towering double doors, slamming them shut and leaving the others with nothing more than the lingering reverberations of a forceful exit.
Prince Blueblood rested an elbow on the table and sat his chin upon the top of his hoof. He watched Cadence with a satisfied smile and waited for the princess to notice. Eventually, she looked to him and it required not but one second for her to know that something utterly vile was about to rear its disgusting head and lash out from the deepest reaches of his throat.
“What a charming cunt you are.”
“Blueblood, please. The only thing that could make me angrier right now is the sound of your dumb, nasally voice, and that’s exactly what I’m hearing right now.”
“Oh, don’t play coy with me. I know how deeply you cherish the dulcet tones of my song.” The prince peeled back his lips and unsheathed a toothy smile.
“Just...stop.” Cadence shook her head wildly and shut her eyes to avoid Blueblood’s stare.
“My word, calm yourself. ‘Tis only a bit of teasing.” He chuckled and stood up to address the co-rulers of Equestria. He said, “I believe it’s clear that some of us are in no condition to quibble any further over steak and wine.”
Princess Luna pointed her nose to a corner of the ceiling and kept her eyes fixed onto Blueblood.
“And what would you propose we do?”
“I can’t say. But for now, I feel that I must visit the washroom as well. Please excuse me.”
“Do hurry,” said Luna.
He maneuvered himself around the table and daintily made his way through the double doors in a fashion not unlike the preceding prince’s dramatic exit. Before him stretched a seemingly endless hall with walls that reached high for a ceiling. Blueblood entered the expanse with his head held high so that he could study the gargantuan paintings that lined the corridor. Each portrait was a window that led to another time and a different place. The stoic expressions of dead princes and princesses greeted Blueblood as he passed by, just as they had done every other night before tonight. They looked down upon his regal form with disdain, but Blueblood’s progress remained unhindered. He had learned all too well the consequences of becoming too familiar with those who had failed during their line of duty, and so he vowed never again to lament the deaths of the weak, the feeble, and the meek.
Up ahead, a ray of golden light struck through the crack of a small door. Blueblood approached and placed his ear to the wood of the frame. Sounds of scuffling tickled the sensitive hairs of his inner canals. He lightly pressed his shoulder into the door and it whimpered with a creaking cry of agony as it opened. Inside, a startled stallion scrambled from atop the toilet. Shining Armor swiped a wad of toilet paper and toppled from the edge of the seat. Water spilled onto the tile floor and soaked the prince in his very own liquid waste.
“Blueblood, what the hay?”
“Oh, stop.”
“Can’t you knock?”
“I could, but I would have missed this lovely view.”
Shining Armor’s face grew red and he looked away. Prince Blueblood shut the bathroom door behind him and turned the lock until the bolt slid into the woodwork with a satisfying click.
“By the way, I can’t seem to recall a single moment in my life when somepony truly fell into the privy.” Blueblood spoke with a sideways smile. “I had always assumed the notion was merely in jest.”
The other stallion laughed and picked himself up from the floor. He said, “Yeah? With a shit-eating grin like that, I kinda figured you spent most of your time with your nose in the shitter.”
“I don’t believe you have the right to call me a potty mouth after your little dance with defecation.”
“Buck off.”
“My, what foul language! What would your beloved mistress say of this?”
“Don’t get me started.”
“I couldn’t resist.”
“It’s every day with her, man. We fight over the dumbest things.”
“This isn’t news. Everypony in that damned room can attest to that.”
“Well, I dunno if everypony can see how much I wanna break it off.”
Blueblood advanced forward and he said, “Believe me, I have noticed more often than you probably realize.”
“Yeah,” Shining said. He looked down at his hooves and chuckled. “I know.”
Blueblood took another step, but then he spoke with a newly adopted tone of voice that softened his speech down to a measly hush.
“Who would stop you?”
“Huh?” Shining Armor squinted his eyelids.
“If you hate the wicked wretch, then leave her.”
“No, no, I couldn’t really do that.”
“I’ll ask it again,” Blueblood stepped even closer to the prince. His breath was warm and it dampened the edges of Shining Armor’s nostrils. “Who would stop you?”
Shining shrugged his shoulders and he said, “I dunno. Myself?”
“My, that’s quite...introspective of you.”
“Huh?”
“You’re thinking a great deal about yourself. Moreso than usual.”
“Like I’m selfish?”
“No, no. I would say you resemble more of a brooding colt than anything else.”
“I don’t think that’s any better.”
“Nonsense. It’s adorable,” Blueblood said. The gap between them gradually diminished.
“You think so, huh?”
“It’s no wonder the princesses would swoon in your presence. You’re absolutely precious.”
“C’mon, stop flattering me.”
“If I don’t, then you might forget how special you are. We both know that bride of yours will never admire anything that isn’t her own reflection.”
“Yeah, really.”
“So then stop hesitating. Abandon this ship while you can.”
“And do what? I’ll lose everything.”
“You won’t lose me.”
“Gross,” Shining Armor said with a chuckle.
“Come, now. Cadence is not fit for a stallion of your magnitude. You said it, yourself. Every waking moment is simply another fight. That is what you said, is it not?”
“Yeah, man, but...I can’t be with you.”
“Go on.”
“This is fun and all, but somepony’s gonna find out. That’s just how it works. Ponies like to talk.”
Blueblood growled and shook his head. “Let them flap their lips as much as they please! I don’t care for them or their opinions.”
“I really don’t know, Blue.”
“Think long and hard about it. We would never bicker about petty matters like steak or wine.”
“The only reason you and me don’t fight is because I don’t have to wake up with you every morning.”
Prince Blueblood pulled away for a brief moment. “Are you implying that I would not make a favorable roommate?”
“I’m just saying that this is what’s best for us. I think a relationship would ruin it, man. I like this a lot more.”
“I suppose so.”
Blueblood used this moment to wrap his hooves around the stallion. The prince sighed and he pressed his snout firmly against Shining Armor’s nose.
“Do you remember our first time,” Blue asked.
“Not really.”
“You were such a pitiful thing. You crawled into my bed and practically begged for it.”
“I’m pretty sure I was drunk.”
“Sober thoughts, Shining. Blame the wine as much as you may. You know you wanted it.”
“Maybe I did.”
“You still want it, even now. Just look at that monster between your legs.”
Shining Armor laughed and he said, “You really suck at that.”
“What?”
“Talking dirty. It’s like a white pony trying to rap.”
“Oh, no. First Aunt Luna and now you?”
“What’s Luna got to do with rapping?”
“Thankfully, very little, but she is quite notorious for her racist remarks.”
“Damn, Blue, I was joking.”
“Hm. Poor taste in humor.”
“See? We’re already fighting.”
“Shining, this is far from a fight. This is simply...playful banter.”
Shining Armor shifted his weight and he said, “Well, either way, my boner’s going away.”
“Oh, we can’t have that,” Blueblood cooed into Shining Armor’s ear. His hoof met with Shining Armor’s hardened member, and it twitched in response. A hefty breath of air came seething through Shining’s teeth, gritted as they were. Blue pressed his belly to Shining’s belly, initiating a conjoined give and take between the rise and fall of their combined lungs. Shining Armor loosened his lips and met them with Blueblood’s lips. Their tongues interlocked and wrestled within the wet chasm that they had built together.
Blueblood’s hoof ran the length of Shining’s penis and he smiled upon coaxing a stifled exertion of a wince from Shining Armor. He gasped and their kiss was severed. Blue secured a firm grip around the stalk of Shining’s neck and he brought his own head forward to rekindle their mouths’ moist matrimony. The kiss was a fervent one. Blue continued to supply a rub to sync with Shining Armor’s pulse. He pulled on the head and offered a light squeeze to induce another twinge from Shining’s genitals. he broke the kiss again to save space for a hearty moan. The moisture from his panting saturated Blue’s skin. Shining Armor’s cries, which were an amalgamation of both disdain and delight, caused Blue to show off a smile.
Much like a shark in search of blood, Blueblood followed his predatorial instincts and wrapped a second hoof around Shining Armor’s neck. He allowed his body to fall lifelessly to the floor and he brought Shining down with him. Before another moment passed, Shining Armor found himself seated on top of his other. Blueblood reserved his words and simply used his hoof to flop his erection against the backside of Shining Armor. The prince hoisted himself above Blue for a fleeting moment, his rectum hovering within proximity of Blue’s penis. Shining Armor sat once more, only to cringe sharply on his way down. The nerves of his anus, sensitive as they were, sent forth warnings of exceeded stimulation directly to pleasure center of his brain. Blueblood’s thick mass delved its way deeper through the tight reaches of Shining’s anal passageways, only to be momentarily halted by constrictions of the sphincter muscles.
Pre-ejaculate seeped from the tip of Blue’s penis, and this lubricated the fleshy trail that lead to the prostate gland. Blue bucked his hips upward and his cock sank farther in. Shining’s ass swallowed the entire mass, and his buttocks suddenly tensed and gripped at the base of Blue’s dick in a milking motion. From atop his living throne, Shining Armor’s breaths accelerated and grew louder with every puff of air. Blueblood simply smiled from below. He slowly began to pull his cock from the cramped hole before he quickly went back in with more force than before. This coaxed an aching moan from Shining, louder than ever. The throbbing shaft within his body continued to swell even further. He felt so full.
“If I have anymore, I might pop,” said Celestia, prior to pushing away her plate, littered with crumbs.
“And yet, those stallions remain to be seen,” Princess Luna quipped after she drank deeply from her glass. Celestia looked to her sister and she asked a question.
“Are you sure you don’t want to eat?”
“If I wanted to eat, I would be eating.”
“Now, now. There’s plenty to be had.”
“I do not wish to have anything.”
Celestia sighed with a smile and she said, “When was your last meal?”
“That is not your concern,” spoke Luna. The boldness of the statement inspired Celestia to laugh.
“Not my concern? You're my sister.”
“Be that as it may, I am not to be placated like some doe-eyed filly.” Luna set her glass down on the table and she tightened her jaw with a force fueled by her own perverse intentions.
“Fuckin’ Hell, there they go again.”
“Haybale, get away from the door!”
“Why?”
“Why, he says. You must really want to lose your head.”
“My head ain’t goin’ nowhere.”
“Just please be careful.”
“They ain’t even lookin’.”
“Well...what are they doing?”
“Havin’ an altercation for the moment.”
“Of course.”
“C’mere, check em’ out.”
“No, thank you. I’ve seen my fair share of animosity.”
“Suit yourself. I’m thinkin’ about makin’ some popcorn.”
“You’re so easily entertained, Haybale.”
“Don’t be judgin’ me, now.”
“Well, as long as it’s worth risking your life.”
“The lil’ pink one’s just sittin’ there like a bump on a log. Man, them two right there are gettin’ fierce! I think that one’s gonna start pullin’ hair!”
“Who? Let me see.”
“Oh-ho! Well, somepony sure had a change o’ heart.”
“Move over.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Haybale, that’s hardly a fight. They’re just talking. They always do that.”
“Fooled you, though.”
“So mature.”
“You know you love it.”
“Please, I could hardly go another day with your...”
“Go on, say it.”
“...”
“Hey, you alright?”
“Haybale...”
“Ma’am?”
“How long has the food been spoiled?”
“What? You tellin’ me the food’s gone bad already?”
“Come here, please.”
“Shew! That smell...”
“Look at this.”
“Shit. Lady, this don’t feel right.”
“What would make it look like that?”
“Couldn’t tell ya.”
“See over there? It’s in the salad, too.”
“Damn it! This was all fresh when it came in.”
“I know. This is something else. Who authorized this morning’s shipment?”
“Uhh, blonde hair, talks like a queer. Real fruity fella.”
“Blueblood.”
“Whatcha thinkin’?”
“Give me a moment. Has everypony eaten the food yet?”
“They done finished a while ago.”
The head chef poked her head out from the swinging double doors of the kitchen. She studied the table and looked for any sign of an unfinished meal. Celestia’s plate was clean. The head chef cursed under her breath and shifted her gaze to focus on Cadence instead. The princess had just taken her last bite of the green herbs. Shortly thereafter, she suddenly inhaled. Celestia and Luna stopped their bickering and turned to face the princess. She gasped once again, and again, and again. The features of her face scrunched together and contorted into an expression of sheer discomfort. Finally, she sneezed. Princess Celestia giggled to herself.
“Ooh, pardon me,” said Cadence. She reached for her napkin and lightly batted her nose in a dainty fashion. As she removed the napkin from her nostrils, she spied a spot of dark red blood stained upon the fabric. Then, as though she hadn’t seen it herself, Cadence quickly tossed the napkin aside and remained as firm and outwardly unphased as possible. She fought against the tickling in the back of her throat.
In the bathroom, Shining Armor’s ride had only gotten rougher. His ass repeatedly slapped against Blueblood’s thighs with every thrust from his partner. Blue had entered a primal state of carnal lust. Every nerve in his genitals screamed for him to stuff his cock deeper and harder into Shining’s quivering rectum. Blue gripped each of Shining’s legs and pulled him down as far as he could manage.
“Ah, fuck! Blue...”
“Shh. Come, now. You’re doing so...well,” Blue said with another forceful shove from his pelvis. Shining bounced against the skin of Blue’s stomach. He grunted in light of the relentless pounding that his prostate was being subjected to. Shining Armor doubled forward, his face bobbing an inch away from Blueblood’s. A bead of sweat trickled along the lining of Shining’s jaw and dripped onto the tiles of the floor.
“Oh...right there,” Shining said. “Push harder.” His eyes were closed and his lips were pursed. Blueblood looked down and saw that his rider’s erection was oozing with pre-cum in a steady line which connected from the head of Shining’s penis and collected near Blueblood’s naval.
“Come here,” Blue said, and he clutched onto either side of Shining’s face, pulling him into another kiss. While they smacked their lips, Blue traced the perimeter of Shining Armor’s skull with a wandering hoof. He made note of several abnormal indentations; simple variations in skeletal structure that could be found in the anatomy of any living creature. These depressions, left behind by the maker, were sure signs that even the most radiant of lifeforms remained to bear imperfections.
Blueblood’s tongue danced and felt around the corners of Shining’s mouth. The slimy, wet meat dragged itself across the rows of teeth that sprouted from his gums. Blue stopped when he noticed that there was a particular tooth which failed to provide a stable defense against the passionate attack. Blue arched his brow. He prodded the tooth a second time and he felt it wriggle and bend to the will of his tongue. It was a loose tooth. Blueblood inspected the squishy surroundings of the questionable tooth and his taste buds came into contact with the familiar flavor of iron. Blood coated the gums of Shining Armor’s mouth. He jutted his tongue across the neighboring teeth and found them to be loose as well. That was when a tooth unlodged itself from its socket.
There was a gasp. Shining Armor pulled back and he dug into his mouth to fetch out the missing molar. When he removed the thing and held it before him, the whites of his eyes expanded and made more than enough room for his retinas. Shining spoke.
“What...?”
Blueblood issued an all-knowing sigh and looked to the side.
“Ah, that’s right,” he said. Shining looked down at his friend and he searched desperately for an answer.
“Blue, something’s wrong,” he cried. He dropped the tooth and he shoved his hoof into his mouth again. It only required a couple of seconds for Shining to excavate another tooth. Only, this time, there were two.
“My, my. That is truly a pity,” Blueblood said with the shake of his head.
“Oh, Celestia. What’s happening?”
“I’m deeply sorry.”
“What?” Shining Armor dropped the teeth from his hoof and he made an attempt to stand, but his legs fought against him and proved only to be lifeless, fleshy appendages now. Blueblood planted his hooves on the legs, despite the fact that they were inert.
“Perhaps I should have said something...before the dinner.”
“Blue, I think I need help, man. I don’t feel good.”
“I know. I truly am sorry.”
“I can’t...move...”
“Hmm. I suppose I was angry. Overreacted.”
“Blueblood...I can’t...breathe...”
“What did you expect from me?” Blue almost laughed. “You chose that...ditzy...” He forced his erection into Shining’s ass. “...self-absorbed...” He pulled out, grimaced, and then he went in for a superseding strike against Shining’s prostate. “...little...dunderhead!”
Shining Armor’s entire form grew limp and he unwillingly hopped atop Blueblood’s dick not unlike a zombified corpse on a rollercoaster. His throat began to clench on its own. His mouth was agape, yet there were no words. Blue continued to ram his cock into his captive without any indication of reserve. His testicles tingled with anticipation as he felt himself approaching a powerful orgasm. At that moment, Shining Armor heaved forth and expelled a heavy helping of crimson bodily fluids from his esophagus. The steady stream of filth rained down upon Blueblood’s face and clouded his vision. Even still, he provided one final exertion of energy provided by his undying libido. The sounds of Shining’s choking and gurgling were drowned out by Blueblood’s overpowering howls of pleasure. Muscles contracted in order to pump thick ropes of semen into the twinging recesses of Shining’s bowels.
“Guards! Come quickly,” Princess Luna barked. “The food has been poisoned!” In the dining hall, Celestia’s shell remained prostrate on the carpet, bathed in her own liquids. Cadence writhed on the table, emptying her stomach of pus and blood. Her efforts to ward off the fits of spasms were fruitless. Tears streamed down her cheekbones. The corners of her eyes gushed clots of pink jelly and her teeth burrowed deeper into her gums with every gnash. All attempts to speak were met with a sickening flood of vomit. Her hooves flailed aimlessly for reasons unknown. There wasn’t an object or an entity within reach that would save her. Then, as if she had accepted her fate, Princess Cadence choked a sob for the last time. She remained frozen, even when the royal guards stampeded into the hall.
Luna stood before them all, looking like a carefully crafted statue that posed as a landmark for the frenzied battleground.
“What in Celestia’s name?”
“What happened?”
“Who did this?”
“Are you alright, Princess?”
“They’re dead!”
The guards mixed their words with one another and formed an intangible cloud of exclamations that were heeded by nopony.
“Aunt Luna?”
The words silenced all the rest. Everypony relocated their line of sight towards the stallion standing in the archway of the dining room. Blueblood’s breaths were haggard and uneven. His fur was no longer white, as it had been repainted to match the color of the deceased. The look on his face was identical to that of a lost child.
“Blueblood,” said Luna. Her voice cracked before she continued. “Where is Shining Armor?”
“He’s dead. I waited near the washroom and I heard him making these noises, and...” He paused when he couldn’t find the words. During this time, Princess Luna had noticed a blur of movement in her peripheral vision. Her head jolted to the side and she spotted the head chef poking her head from the kitchen door.
“Her,” Luna cried. She pointed a hoof in the chef’s direction. “She poisoned my family! Take her!” The princess spun around to face the royal guards and she spoke again. “Take her! Take her!”
The armored stallions wasted no time. All at once, they charged forth and burst through the swinging doors without a hint of resistance.
“Shit! Get off her!”
“Haybale, no! Stop!”
“Hold up, now! We ain’t done nothin’!”
“It’s alright! I’ll be fine!”
“Dammit, I said get off her!”
Luna surveyed the lonesome expanse of the dining room and released a sigh from the deepest pit of her lungs.
“Are you hurt,” asked Blueblood. Luna blinked as though she had been broken free of a trance, and then her features hardened into a war-torn stare that stretched for a thousand yards.
The following days were something made from the darkest recesses of one’s nightmares. Sunlight was a rare visitor, and the nights were long and unforgiving. Ponies could be heard wailing throughout the city, begging for a higher power to show them mercy. Children wept without reprieve. Fires consumed the homes of townsfolk and singed the vegetation of the earth. Eventually, six mares decided to take action. Organizations were formed in order to help sustain the well-being of the environment. These healthy ponies rallied together and disposed of the corpses that littered the streets. They washed the pungent scent of blood away from their neighbors’ homes and they provided herbs that were said to numb the pain. All the while, citizens of Ponyville crowded near the gates of Canterlot Castle, waiting for guidance. The ponies whispered to one another, speaking of rumors that tell of a frightened princess and her loyal nephew, who watch from the silhouetted towers every night, biding their time until they feel inclined to make contact with the rest of the world.
Meanwhile, in the dungeon of the keep, two prisoners were rotting away in a cell as they awaited their release.
“You awake?”
“Hm...? Oh, Haybale. Yes, I’m here.”
“Was you sleepin’?”
“No, no...I was lost in thought.”
“I hear you yawnin’. Go back to bed.”
“Where is this bed that you speak of?”
“Seriously. Stop yammerin’. I didn’t know you was sleepin’.”
“I cannot bring myself to sleep another night in this tomb.”
“Hehe. I heard that.”
“So, what about you?”
“Me?”
“What have you been busying yourself with?”
“Ah, same old same old. Been sittin’ here, thinkin’ about my folks, listenin’ to them city ponies bellyachin’ outside, jerkin’ off when I’m feelin’ antsy...”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Look, I been down here a long time. I get urges.”
“Yes, but...I don’t seem to recall you ever...doing that.”
“Well, I ain’t gonna rub one out with you sittin’ there. I wait ‘till you’re fast asleep.”
“That is completely inappropriate.”
“Yeah, well...just be glad you’re in here with me. If it was anypony else, they’d be takin’ advantage of you in a heartbeat.”
“How do I know that you haven’t taken advantage of me in my sleep?”
“Trust me. I couldn’t do that. I’d cut off the head of anypony who treated a lady like that.”
“I see. In that case, you have my thanks. I only ask that you continue to spare me of your...rituals.”
“That’d be fine and dandy if you went back to sleepin’.”
“I told you, I’m not tired.”
“That ain’t what I remember.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not tired.”
“Whatever you say. I’m done fightin’. It’s all we do.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, really. I’m tired of everypony fightin’. Why can’t I just talk to somepony I like and have em’ be nice for a change?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nah, it’s fine. I was just sayin’. Seems like every day, you and me fight and we hate each other more and more. Everything builds up and it gets to be too much, sometimes. I dunno.”
“I see. Haybale, I’m sorry.”
“Nah, I done told ya. It’s nothin’.”
“But even still...if it helps, just look at us now. I’m still here. That has to mean something, does it not?”
“Hmm. Yeah, I guess so.”
“I wouldn’t subject myself to your company if I didn’t care about you. Understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good.”
“Heh, it’s good to see ya smile again.”
“Really? I’m surprised that you’re able to see a thing in this darkness.”
“Guess my eyes adjusted or somethin’.”
“Perhaps your kind have night vision?”
“I reckon.”
The cell door creaked open and a royal guard stood before the two prisoners.
“Come with me,” he said sternly. The prisoners were led out of their cell. They were escorted up the spiral stairs, into the halls, around the garden, past the library, and through a pair of doors. The early morning air was strong and stung their nostrils. The sun had yet to climb over the mountains, and yet the birds were awake to greet them. The prisoners looked all around and absorbed their surroundings. They were guided to a field of cool grass. The reach of the castle’s walls extended further ahead and encased the yard. The prisoners saw the end of their journey and they yielded. They were given a light push and their feet met with wood. The first prisoner fell forward and rested on a wooden bed. They poked their head through a circular opening.
“It’s alright. I’ll be fine,” the prisoner said. A steel blade dropped from above and the prisoner didn’t talk again. The next prisoner was given a light push.
“Damn it,” the prisoner said to nopony. They fell forward and rested on a wooden bed. “Fuck all of y’all!” They poked their head through a circular opening. “I know you can hear me! Yer all gonna die, anyway! Everypony’s gonna die! Just dinner for worms! That’s all you are,” the prisoner said. A steel blade dropped from above and the prisoner didn’t talk again.
“It has been quite some time since I have heard that sound,” Princess Luna said from atop the castle’s tower. Prince Blueblood peered over the stone edge and watched the royal guards dispose of the bodies.
“Rather gruesome.”
“It gets the point across.”
“Quite.”
Luna turned and gazed outward in the opposite direction. She studied the city of Canterlot and looked beyond its borders.
“What are we to do about this illness? Our numbers are decreasing rapidly and there is still no cure.”
“Aunt Luna, do you believe that those who commit wrongdoings are deserving of second chances?”
The princess looked to her nephew and she saw that he was still watching the guards clean the guillotine.
“Those who choose to disobey our laws deserve no quarter. This is the way things will be handled from this day forward.”
“It’s odd that you would say that.” Blueblood stood next to the princess and joined her in watching the city stir awake. He said, “Were you not once banished to the moon for your actions?”
“My sister...” Luna paused and forced herself to continue. “My sister may have forgiven me, but I will never forgive myself.”
“Come, now. You’re much too hard on yourself.”
“You may be right. However, you seem to have avoided my question.”
“Please, ask it again.”
“What do you suggest that we do during this crisis?”
“Simple,” Blueblood said with a shrug of his shoulders. “We follow Celestia’s word and search for a bit of hope. Things can’t possibly stay this way for long. What do you think,” he asked. He focused on his aunt’s face and noted how enthralled she appeared to be. He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking that made her look that way. His eyes wandered to the rocks that resided near the bottom of the cliff. He wondered what her body would sound like, slamming against those jagged rocks.
Princess Luna smiled, glanced at Blueblood, and then she said, “I think I was wrong about you.”
Blueblood smiled as well. The orange sun began to creep over the horizon.
“Over here, class. They say that this is the exact spot where Princess Luna jumped off the castle 500 years ago.”
“Oh, shit,” a student said.
“Didn’t she have wings,” another student asked.
“Well,” the professor started, “many ponies speculate that it was a suicide. So, she wouldn’t have used her wings in that situation.”
“I heard they were torn off,” a student remarked.
“Was she depressed,” another student asked.
“Nopony can say for sure,” the professor said. The stallion adjusted his spectacles and he cleared his throat. “But keep in mind, this was a pretty rough time for the royal family. Remember, this was just after the Crimson Dinner, where the prince poisoned his whole family. I told you all about the great pestilence, right? Anyone remember how it could be contracted? It was very specific. Wasn’t even contagious. Anyone?”
“If you ate contaminated food,” a student said.
“Yes, if you ate contaminated food,” the professor confirmed as he swung a hoof in the air. “This guy took a whole bunch of bad food and gave it to the kitchen staff.”
“How do we know that,” another student asked.
“We know that because the prince went and confessed to the whole thing. Oh, there was absolute chaos. Artists painted pictures of the dinner, journalists posted stories, poets wrote elegies mourning the dead, ponies threw riots, and the castle got ransacked.”
A student raised her hoof and she said, “How did the food become infected?”
“Who knows,” said the professor. “Some say rats, but is that true? We can’t say.”
Another student folded his hooves and he arched a brow. “Like, what happened to the prince?”
“They ran him out of town and he drowned in a river,” the professor slapped his hooves together and smiled, causing some to chuckle. “So, a widespread disease is killing thousands, the royal family is murdered, and the death sentence is reinstated. Lovely times, right?”
“Why’d he do it?”
The professor looked to the student in the back and laughed, “Oh, Lackluster! Glad to see you could make it. How’s that cold?”
“Better,” he said, sniffing his nose twice before wiping snot from his upper lip. Then, he lowered his red baseball cap to shield his eyes from the sun’s rays.
“Good, good. You didn’t eat the food here, right?”
“What?” Lackluster tilted his head.
“Ahh, I’m jokin’. You’re fine. But, to answer your question, some say that the prince wanted the throne. Others think that he just went plumb crazy. Nopony knows for sure.”
Lackluster felt a tapping on his shoulder. He whirled around and was face to face with his best friend.
“Backhoe, where’ve you been?”
“Shh, c’mere!”
The bigger stallion rushed away from the class and entered the castle through a crumbling archway. Lackluster groaned and turned to make sure that the professor wasn’t looking. When the coast was clear, he slipped away from the group and followed after his friend.
“Backhoe, where’d you go?”
“Over here!”
“Where?”
“Lackluster, this way! Follow my voice!”
“Keep talking!”
Lackluster descended a flight of spiral stairs and gravitated towards his friend’s voice. He eventually came across a line of red rope that blocked the way. The area ahead was clearly prohibited. Nevertheless, he ducked under the rope and continued forth. He eventually rounded a corner and entered a room full of antiquated decorations. A stallion such as himself would have never been able to afford such lavish materials.
“Lackluster, look!”
The voice came from underneath the queen-sized bed. Lackluster bent down on his knees and peeked under the mattress. He saw Backhoe digging into the floor, chipping away at the fragile tiles as though he was excavating buried treasure.
“Dude, what the hell are you doing? C’mon, somepony’s gonna find us.”
“Chill out. Do you know where we are?”
“I don’t give a shit. There’s gotta be a guard around here. Let’s go.”
“This is the prince’s room. I read a blog about this thing. Everypony says there’s like, a diary or something under his bed.”
“Alright, I’m leaving.”
“Woah! Dude.”
“What?”
“Look, look! It’s a box!”
“Huh, really?”
Backhoe crawled out from under the bed and rushed to Lackluster’s side. In his hooves was a bejeweled box, finely crafted by the most talented of ponies.
“What’s inside,” Lackluster asked.
“I dunno,” Backhoe said. “It’s kinda heavy. Here, I’ll just hold it. You open it.”
“No way.”
“Dude, don’t be a pussy.”
“Fine, but then you’re putting it back.”
“Yeah, yeah. Hurry up.”
Lackluster sighed and flipped the lid open with surprising ease. Instantly, he began to feel nauseous.
“Backhoe, put it back.”
“Oh, man. What is it?”
“Screw this, dude,” Lackluster shook his head and made his way out of the room. Backhoe dropped the box onto the floor and lowered himself to examine the contents of the container.
“Holy shit.” He reached into the compartment and pulled out a stallion’s skull. He traced the perimeter with a wandering hoof. He made note of several abnormal indentations; simple variations in skeletal structure that could be found in the anatomy of any living creature. These depressions, left behind by the maker, were sure signs that even the most radiant of lifeforms remained to bear imperfections.
