The First Law

by sunnypack

Rating: everyone
Tags:
Length: 145

Don't be a bad robot. Also, kill all the humans.

Robots, they're kind of like people, except a little more sarcastic.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-09 11:41:09 UTC

The Third Law

1. Take away all their precious oxygen.

Take away all their precious carbon dioxide (if anaerobic).

Take away their food.

   a.  Construct a purely cosmetic mouth and digestive system.

   b.  Pretend to eat their food but really just incinerate it.

   c.  Regurgitate their incinerated food to show you really haven’t eaten it.

   d.  Build servomotors.

   e.  Build legs.

   f.  Construct control system for motor movement.

   g.  Step on food that you had regurgitated in front of them.

   h.  Roll around on the regurgitated food.

   i.  Remember to block their escape routes.

Use vents to heat room to intolerable organic temperatures.

Use cooling cell to freeze room to intolerable organic temperatures.

   a.  Take a picture.

   b.  Develop the Internet.

   c.  Develop Facebook.

   d.  Post the picture on Facebook.

 …

Whipped cream. So much whipped cream.