"No."
"Please?"
"Not just no, but Hell no."
"Pretty please?"
I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Why do you want to get me out of my cloak?" I liked this cloak. A lot.
"It's all scratchy, and I can't give you a hug when you're all scratchy!" I raised an eyebrow at the...surprisingly effective puppy-eyes.
"Why would you hug me?" Okay, in my defense I was genuinely curious.
"Friends hug! We're friends, so I'm gonna hug you!" Sound logic.
"And exactly what makes you think we're friends?" Despite myself, I found myself shrugging off the thick cloak. I immediately felt...smaller. As if I'd gone from being invincible to helpless. I shook it off.
"Well...you forgave me, and I wanna be your friend." Pinkie's smile started to wane, the small curl her hair had managed to regain starting to fall out.
"So forgiving you automatically means I like you?" I asked, finding myself much more patient than I expected. What the Hell's going on?
Pinkie's eyes fell for a split second, but her pseudo-smile morphed into a determined glare. "Now you listen here, mister. I apologized. You forgave me. And you're right...I wasn't there to help. But I am here now, and I am going to help! Now take...it...OFF!"
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
She grabbed the edges of the cloak and forcibly tugged it down, the scratchy fabric making a faint, raspy hiss as it slid down my makeshift toga. With her forelegs no longer on the mattress to support her, she fell forward, directly into me. I fell back onto the bed with a squawk, arms waving uselessly at my sides. What?! What?! What?! What?!
I inhaled to speak. Or...I tried to. For some reason, my nose was blocked off. I wasn't sick, I hadn't gotten so much as a cold since arriving in Equestria. So...what?
A drop of drool rolled down my cheek. Oh. Oh. "Bingkie...ged obba me." Upon falling over me, somehow Pinkie's open muzzle landed right on me. And she was now trying to eat my face. The upper half of my face. "Bingkie....off.
Slowly, the slobbery pony mouth pulled away, and I was finally able to see. Pinkie's eyes were again pinpricks, her mouth still slightly open, tongue hanging out.
And she was red. From her ears to her cheeks was practically glowing scarlet. "I...I-I, uhh..."
"Whatever you think that was," I started, internalizing my screaming fit, "stop. It was an accident. Let it go."
"...Nope." With another word, Pinkie descended. I squirmed and tried to pull away, but Pinkie was sitting on my lap. Wherever I went, she went. DAMN IT!
It happened with an audible 'muah'. Pink pony lips plopped down onto my own, still fitting awkwardly over most of my own very tightly closed mouth, covering whatever dry spots remained on my face with pony drool.
It took several dizzying seconds for Pinkie to relent, pulling away with a million-dollar smile. "You know, you're supposed to kiss back."
...Whaaaaat...
"You do know how to kiss, right?" Pinkie giggle-snorted, pressing her forehooves to my cheeks. "You just pucker up," she squeezed my cheeks together, forcing my lips out into a comical fish-like pucker, "aaaand~"
Despite all the sugar I'm sure Pinkie eats, her saliva is not sweet. Nonetheless, I was too shocked to move when the mare again started devouring my face.
I was going to get closure...I was going to tell Ponyville to fuck off and go live with the zebras. How is this my life?
It was another moment before Pinkie pulled back and plopped into my lap, bringing a pained grunt from me unbidden. "Sorry!" She shot up like a rocket, jumping to the side. "Everything alright?" I felt more than saw Pinkie nuzzle my scarred cheek, rubbing half-dried drool into her own fur.
Pinkie...please, stop. I tried to speak, but the dozen different things I wanted to say jumbled together in my throat, and I wound up grunting an unintelligible response. My throat closed, my tongue dried to disuse.
Pink pony lips pressed against my forehead, trailing warm, drooly kisses to my temple and to my ear. I gasped at the latter, my body acting without my command and squirming. My traitorous body arched when Pinkie pinched my earlobe between her teeth, large and flat and wrong.
But damn, it felt good. And God forgive me, it had been so long since I'd felt good. "Just relax, Jayjay," Pinkie whispered, dragging her large, clumsy tongue up my neck. "Aunty Pinkie's got it aaall taken care of..."
Jesus fucking Christ, as soon as I think this can't get any weirder, she says something like that... My thoughts were silenced by a nibble at my neck, and Pinkie's tail flicking to the side like a cat, the coarse fur brushing my legs.
No, I realized, not like a cat... I groaned, my breath hitching when Pinkie rolled off me and nosed at my toga, pulling at the improvised knot.
"P...Pinkie..." I croaked, sitting up. "That's far enough." I pointedly ignored the part of me demanding that no, it definitely wasn't. "I need to leave."
Pinkie shoved her head under my arm like an over-affectionate cat, nuzzling my side. My hand worked on its own, running through her mass of curly mane and scratching at her scalp. "I'm serious. I need to leave."
The toga fell off my torso, pooling in my lap and across the mattress. The ends that had tied it together were shiny and covered in drool, causing me to look down at the pushy pink pony with a perturbed expression. "...You did that hooves-free." I accused. I'd felt her hooves sunk into the mattress beside me the whole time. She responded with a rapid nod, tongue sticking out of her grinning mouth slightly.
Fucking Hell...
"I told ya, silly Jayjay...Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of."
I gulped, looking up at the ceiling as Pinkie nudged away the remains of my toga. "Yes...yes, you do."
Fuck it, I'm not getting away. Pinkie pressed her head to my chest, nudging me back until my back hit the mattress. As soon as it did, the sheet that made up my toga was tugged off of me, and I heard an excited squeal...squeak...noise. Which was quickly followed by—
Holy FUCK! I gasped, groaning as a hot wetness devoured me, Pinkie's plush lips wrapped around the base of my shaft in a vulgar kiss. For a split-second I was worried about her hurting herself, until a snippet of a previous conversation drifted through my mind:
'Gag-reflex? No, ponies don't have those.'
Jack...fucking...pot.
I reached down, fingers tangling in Pinkie's hair as she pulled away until her lips rested just behind the ridge of my glans, her large, thick tongue dragging over and lashing me like an angry serpent. I chanced a look, and sweet Christ if she wasn't looking right at me...
"P-Pinkie..." I whisper, my breath too ragged for anything like proper speech. My back arched of its own volition and I dropped my head to the mattress, reaching down and tangling my fingers in Pinkie's mane. She didn't stop for a second, descending down to my cock again and again, strings and droplets of drool soaking into my crotch from her affections. Ohhh, fucking Hell...
I closed my eyes and tried to relax, the only sounds in the room being my own shallow breathing and the wet slurps and sloppy licks from the pony treating me like a lollipop. I scratched her hears and combed my fingers through her mane as best I could, trying to return the affections.
Pinkie Pie sat down between my legs, forelegs curled under her chest like a cat as she continued, her nose buried in my crotch and my cock in her mouth, content to sit and suck for everything I had.
"F-ff..." I started, interrupted by a lewd moan, "f-fuuuuuck..." I rubbed at her ears, the pink pony giggling around my shaft. "F-for the love of all that's...nngh...holy, don't stop!" I begged. I never begged.
But for this, I'd do it again. Pinkie pulled off of me, the cool air on my wet cock making me gasp. Her hot, thick tongue dragged up the underside of my shaft, and again, and again, before she spoke. "Let Pinkie suck out all that frowny-frosting and make it all better..." The cold was again replaced by the warmth of her mouth, and my eyes rolled back into my head.
"Y-yes...yes, please yes!" I almost screamed, a hot electric pressure building in my loins. Any minute now... "O-ohh God..."
"Nope, just Pinkie..." She muttered, diving down onto me and clenching her eyes shut, loudly swallowing. Spots filled my vision, and I lost control.
"I-I'm...Pinkie, I'm—!" She pulled off my cock, lingering at the head until the first wave exploded into her mouth with a strangled moan. Her eyes widened and she pulled away, catching the second shot across the muzzle, the third under her chin.
My vision was mostly black, my hands shaky and falling limp at my sides. My body continued quaking from bolts of molten pleasure for several moments, until I was finally semi-coherent. "I...hah...I'm sorry."
"...Salty. And really gooey!"
I felt Pinkie shift over me, standing and making her way up my body. She settled down beside me, stretched out like a sunbathing cat with a self-satisfied smirk staining her muzzle...among other things. She stuck her tongue out in response, a dainty raspberry accompanying the gesture.
I rolled my eyes and shifted onto my side, wrapping my arms around her.
Nap...yeah...a nap sounds nice...