One Weird Trick for a Perfect Figure
Alicorns were supposed to be beautiful. Twilight had always assumed that it was a package deal; you get wings, you get a horn, you get an extra few feet of height, and you get perfect tits, a skinny waist, matronly hips, and what she really wished Rainbow Dash would stop referring to as a “ghetto booty” to Princess Celestia's face. Sure, maybe the assumption was a little racist – she wouldn't be caught dead saying that all Earth Ponies are industrious, or that all Pegasi are athletic, or that all Unicorns are smart – but there were exactly three Alicorns in the world, she'd met them all, and they all fit that mould of exaggerated femininity.
Of course, that misconception had been completely shattered when she had become one herself.
Twilight had never been the most active pony, and the only reason she wasn't fat was because of her bad habit of forgetting to eat. Of course, she balanced this out by eating almost exclusively junk food when she ate at all – it was easier than doing real cooking, and less time consuming (which meant more time for reading and studying.) She was short and scrawny and what curves she did have were woefully inadequate, especially in comparison to the ponies she most closely associated with. Fluttershy was well endowed, Rainbow Dash was in peak physical condition, Applejack was well endowed and in peak physical condition, Rarity paid meticulous attention to her appearance and diet, Pinkie Pie's eating habits left her with generous curves.
And Princess Celestia put them all to shame. Her breasts were absolutely massive, almost but not quite to the point of being unrealistically so, and her hips easily matched them, leaving her with a perfectly balanced hourglass figure that could only be described as divine. It was nice to be guaranteed something pleasant to look at during her lessons, it was also incredibly disheartening when puberty came along and decided to give up halfway through. The Princess may have been her teacher, she may have been like a second mother, and she may have been one of Twilight's closest friends, she couldn't help but be envious. The fact that her transformation had into an Alicorn had left her figure mostly unchanged was just icing on the cake of disappointment in her own genetics.
Of course, she wasn't completely unchanged. She had gained a good foot of height, enough that her eyes were level with Princess Celestia's chest. And, of course, there were the wings, and with them the prerequisite set of new musculature to be disappointed in. The most noticeable was that her pectoral muscles were larger, which in turn made her breasts appear larger, which really just brought attention to the fact that they were kind of lopsided. The wings themselves were ungainly things, far too large for her frame and with an unfortunate habit of acting like they had a mind of their own. She'd broken many expensive things because her wings suddenly decided that they were going to spread to their full extent.
“Yeah, don't expect to get used to them any time soon. Celestia's had hers for centuries and still prefers to just walk or use magic and that should tell you something about giving Unicorns wings.” Twilight had taken the opportunity presented by one of her sister-in-law's regular visits to the castle to catch up, and to complain about just how disappointing her ascension had been, something Cadence couldn't really do more than sympathize with. “I can see where you got that idea, but I looked pretty much like this even before the wings.” She shrugged, taking a sip of her tea. “Sorry. Not much else I can say that won't come across like being a condescending bitch.”
“It's okay, it's not your fault any more than it's Celestia or Luna's.” Twilight sighed deeply and forlornly.
“Welllllllll, I wouldn't say that.”
“Huh?”
Cadence's eyes darted around the room as if checking for unexpected guests, before leaning in to Twilight conspiratorially. “Well, and you didn't hear this from me, but I'm pretty sure that Celestia cheats.”
“What, like plastic surgery?” Twilight was dubious, though there was a deep, nagging suspicion in the back of her head that Cadence was right.
“Nah, why use surgery when you've got more magic power in your pinky finger than every Unicorn in Ponyville put together.” She leaned back, finishing off the rest of her tea in one swift gulp. “Size magic isn't exactly complicated.”
“I don't know...”
“Come on, Twilight, you of all ponies should have noticed by now, considering how much time you spend with her.”
“Noticed what?”
Cadence sighed with exasperation. “Her breasts change size. Not much, you'd have to be paying really close attention or know her really well, which you do by the way so I don't get how you didn't notice this before me, but they totally do. 'specially when she's gonna be going out in public.” She leaned forward and poured herself a second cup. “She goes from D to G whenever she's gonna make a public appearance, I'm certain of it.”
“Why?”
“What, you think I'm gonna ask her? I mean, I assume it's because she wants to impress the general public. She's got an image to maintain, after all.”
Twilight sunk back into her sofa, taking the new information in. “Well, that's... comforting, I guess? I mean, now that you bring up the possibility, I could probably use magic to tweak my figure...”
“You look great the way you are, Twilight.”
“No, I very clearly don't.”
Cadence rolled her eyes. “You and every other insecure twentysomething mare in Equestria. Just 'cause you're not eight feet tall with G cups doesn't mean you're ugly. I'm just saying that it's probably too much effort to bother with, or else Celestia'd just go around at G cup size all the time.” Twilight pouted, drawing another exasperated sigh from her sister-in-law. “Okay, look, I probably shouldn't do this, but I think I know where Celestia keeps her stash.”
“Her what?”
“The stuff she uses to 'adjust' her figure. I'm pretty sure she uses stuff and not some spell, at least. Probably some kinda ointment or powder.” Twilight leaned in close, her nose almost touching Cadence's. “Hey, hey, calm down, kiddo.” Twilight leaned back, blushing slightly. “Anyway, there are, what, five hundred bathrooms in Canterlot Castle? More? The point is, there's a lot of them. But whenever it's time to get ready for a public appearance, Celestia uses the same one every time, even when it means going out of her way to do so. Now, I could be wrong, maybe she's got some other reason, buuuuuuut...” She got up, and Twilight followed suit. “Top of the northeast tower? That's a weird place to go out of your way to use to freshen up. If there's anything at all, it's probably there.” There was a moment of silence, neither mare speaking or even moving, before Cadence groaned. “Go on, get going! Before I regret telling you this!” Twilight let out a small 'eep' and ran off, leaving an irritated Cadence.
“... I hope you know what you're doing, Princess.”
Celestia smiled in that way that only she could smile. “I have no idea, no. But whatever happens should at least prove to be entertaining.”
The north wing of Canterlot Castle was the oldest part of the castle, and the least used. Everything was covered in a thin layer of dust, including the door to the northeast tower. Twilight had very rarely had reason to come to this part of the castle, and she honestly wasn't even sure what it was for beyond being kind of creepy. She carefully turned the knob and opened the door, revealing a dusty old spiral staircase. The stone it was made of looked sturdy enough, no real structural failings she could see. The only thing stopping her from climbing the tower was her clothing - a strapless black gown Rarity had given her for her birthday, with a matching choker. The dress was shimmery and stretchy. without being slick and rubbery like latex, and had slits in either side that on a fuller figured mare would show off her cutie marks. More practically, it had the side-effect of giving Twilight much more freedom of movement than the dress would have had without the slits, making her more confident in her ability to ascend the staircase. The choker was the same black as the dress, with gold edges and a large amethyst in the middle, and was honestly the main reason Twilight wore the outfit at all. She appreciated Rarity's work, but she just didn't have the figure for most of her fashions. And she didn't really have the occasion to wear something so... sexy very often. Which was why she had decided to wear it for Cadence's visit; it was useless gathering dust in her closet and it was a special enough occasion to warrant breaking it out. Although, she thought as a chilly breeze blew in through one of the tower's windows, she regretted taking Rarity's advice to go commando while wearing it.
“Any underwear would just show up through the dress, darling, which is simply unacceptable.” Yes, well, Twilight doubted Cadence would have given a shit. And it'd certainly have been more practical now that she was at the top of the tallest tower in the castle, in a part of the castle built before central heating was a thing, in February. Twilight filed away a mental note that this part of the castle was in dire need of modernization and entered the bathroom.
Although she wouldn't have called it a bathroom if she hadn't been told it was a bathroom. There was a bath, yes, but the room gave off the feeling of a large apartment more than of a bathroom. The bath itself was ornate, the gleaming white porcelain decorated with gold and silver carvings. It was also massive, large enough to fit at least five ponies and still leave them with breathing room. There was also a similarly oversized bed on the opposite side of the room from the tub, with dark red blankets and far more pillows than was strictly necessary in Twilight's opinion. In the centre of the room was a large fireplace, beside which was a pile of fresh logs, kindling, and other supplies necessary for building and maintaining a fire. Twilight shivered slightly and decided that her need for warmth outweighed the prospect of her intrusion being noticed. Besides, it wasn't like she wasn't allowed to be here or anything. She set about building a fire while quickly examining the rest of the room. There was a basin close to the bath, a full body mirror between the fire supplies and the bed, and a bedside table, on top of which were a large metal sphere and some sort of brown lump. Twilight poked at the fire a bit with the log roller until she was satisfied that it was burning steadily before giving the lump a closer look.
It turned out to be a bag, made of a brown cloth, with a label of slightly lighter brown sewn in. Twilight swallowed nervously as she carefully lifted the bag to examine it closer.
“Celestia's “Special” Powder.”
This was it. Whatever Princess Celestia's secret was, if there even was a secret at all, it was this. Although, now that she'd let that small doubt enter her mind, Twilight began to rationalize. It was probably just some special blend of incense. She turned her attention to the metal object that she was now certain was some sort of incense burner. It was a large metal bowl topped with a brass cone, with holes to allow the smoke to escape. She lifted the lid to find a brown cone of incense situated in the centre, decidedly not in powdered form. “Okay, so it's not incense, but it can't be- I mean, it's just silly. Why would Princess Celestia even bother with that? She's not that vain, is she?”
But what if it wasn't?
“I mean, what's the worst it could be?”
Of course, on saying that, several potential worst things came to mind.
“Well, I'm not going to get anywhere standing here debating whether or not to try it out. I need to make a decision.” Of course, saying she was going to make a decision and making a decision were two very different things, and it was another few minutes before Twilight stopped her internal debate again. “I just need to relax. Maybe the incense will help.” She headed over to the fire supplies and grabbed a match, which she used to light the incense.
Almost immediately, Twilight was hit by the overpowering fumes. The aroma was warm and heady, like mulled wine and sex. The world felt out of focus, a soft haze surrounding individual objects in the room, making them seem to glow with a warm, inviting light. There was a tightness in Twilight's chest and a tingle in her nethers.
It slowly dawned on Twilight's addled mind exactly why the tub and bed in this room were so large.
But the incense had done its job. All hesitation discarded, Twilight opened the bag and grabbed a small amount of the powder contained within between her forefinger and thumb. After a moment's thought, Twilight pulled her dress open, exposing her underwhelming breasts, and sprinkled the powder onto them.
Seconds later she felt the tightness and the tingle intensify. A lot. Her breasts felt full, uncomfortably so, and getting progressively fuller and fuller with each passing second. Her pussy absolutely ached, her clit swollen with arousal that was not lessened in the slightest by the sensation of her dress rubbing against it. Twilight let out a deep, guttural moan as she came, more intensely than she had ever before. And with that release came a release of the tightness.
Twilight looked down and grinned absentmindedly. Her breasts were no longer the small, misshapen lumps of flesh they had been - they were now more than respectable. She had cleavage. She'd never had cleavage before. She turned to the mirror to get a better look at herself and the grin widened. Her breasts were each about the size of her head, slightly bulging out of of the top of her dress. And, to her great pleasure, the effects spread lower. Her waist was trimmer, her hips and ass had filled out to rival Celestia herself, and her dress was pushed aside by a half erect footlong horsecock.
Twilight idly wondered why she wasn't freaking out that she'd suddenly grown a cock. Presumably it was the incense, dulling her senses and leaving her in a vague haze of pleasure, but she still felt like she should be reacting more to it than she was. “Well, presumably it's not permanent, so I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Speaking of which,” she reached over and grabbed the bag. She smirked, grabbing a fistful of powder and sprinkling it directly between her cleavage. “Let's see just what this shit can really do.”
The first thing it really did was cause her cock to spring to life, swelling larger and harder as blood pumped into it. A clear, viscous fluid drooled from the urethra, slowly trailing its way down the shaft. Twilight reached down and wiped it away before absently bringing her index finger to her mouth. Her precum tasted salty and sweet, kind of like licorice. She wanted more, and it looked like she was going to get it because her cock was pulsing longer and thicker in time with her heartbeat. It wouldn't be long before it was long enough for her to suck herself off, assuming her gigantic tits didn't get in the way.
Her gigantic tits that were, much like her gigantic horsecock, steadily getting more gigantic. They had, following her initial growth spurt, just barely fit into her dress, bulging over the sides ever so slightly. But now she looked like she was trying to cram herself into an outfit from middle school, her chest convulsing larger in huge, wobbly spurts. Flesh spilled over the edges of the dress, which very quickly gave up the ghost and tore at the seams, setting Twilight's glorious orbs free to grow unimpeded. And grow they did, reaching the size of beach balls in seconds and showing no sign of slowing down. She didn't even have to do anything in order to take the next logical course of action, as her various body parts' growth resulted in her cock wedging itself firmly between her tits. Twilight grinned, pressing her still growing breasts together around her throbbing erection.
The meaty pole surged another few inches in length, leaving the tip almost level with Twilight's head. She was leaking precum in a steady flow now, like she was pissing honey. She lapped up as much of the sweet, sticky delight as she could before the beast surged past her head. She groaned deeply and rolled forwards, her body resting on her now beanbag sized breasts. The overwhelming sensation of pleasure, the haze of the incense, and the mere knowledge of her comically exaggerated proportions was all more than Twilight could take, and she found herself careening headfirst over the edge of orgasm.
The base of her cock bulged wide, even more impossibly thick than it already was. Twilight groaned as the bulge spread upwards, pressing firmly into her absurdly gigantic breasts, slowly making its way to the tip.
Twilight came with the force of a gun, the steady flow of semen sending the mirror crashing into the wall. She screamed in ecstasy, her body spasming wildly on top of her absurd endowments, as gallon after gallon after gallon of thick, off-white spooge coated everything in the room. She wildly thurst her pelvis, relentlessly titfucking herself and pumping out more and more of the seemingly endless flow of cum.
Her orgasm lasted what felt like days, but was really only a bit less than an hour. Twilight chuckled weakly at that, as she basked in the afterglow atop her own personal waterbed and surveyed the damage. And damage was the right word, because Twilight couldn't see a way to salvage anything in the room. Everything was coated in a thick layer of white goop, and the floor was submerged in a lake of the stuff that, were Twilight capable of standing, would reach her knees. She absently mused that the sheer amount of liquid she had produced had to have broken some law of physics or another, although the fact that she was resting on top of a pair of tits each the size of a large chariot was a constant reminder that that was far from the only physics-breaking she had participated in this evening.
Her member twitched slightly. Twilight grinned. If just one orgasm had done this, imagine what two would do. Or three, or four, or twenty. Twilight had a long night ahead of her and figured it was better to play things by ear.
She wiggled a bit to get more comfortable atop her breasts, and then got down to work.
“It's rude to stare, Rainbow Dash.”
“I can't help it! I mean, look at you! You used to be barely bigger than me and now you make Fluttershy look prepubescent!”
Twilight blushed. “They're not that big, Dash. Trust me, they could be a lot bigger.”
Rainbow Dash gesticulated wildly in the way she always did, which had the nasty side effect of getting tea everywhere. “They're still fuckin' huge, Twi'. I mean, if I knew that being an Alicorn comes with a side of giant tits, I'd'a been the one who finished that spell.”
“I kinda doubt that. Besides, you've got a great figure as it is.”
“Pft, yeah, I kick ass, but...” She gestured at her chest. “Some cleavage'd be nice, is all. I'm a breast lady who don't got no breasts.”
Twilight smiled. “Welllll, I think I might be able to help you with that front.”
“Huh?”
“Just follow me, and don't worry because your days of breast envy are in the past. I hope you don't mind getting sticky, though. Really, really sticky.”
