Cream or Chaos with your Coffee?
-The world as we know it has ended, but Not our lives...-
The sound of the alarm clock blared into her ears. She grumbled before slamming a cyan hoof onto the clock's ‘off’ button. She opened a heavy lidded eye, and looked at the four zeroes that flashed in lime green.
“Ugh…midnight already..."
The snow colored Unicorn that was laying beside her let out a soft sigh, before rolling over to face her. She smacked her lips a few times,
“What time is it?” she questioned, her voice thick with sleep
“It’s time for our shift.”
The night fell silent once more. Dash sighed and gave the mare a gentle shake,
“C’mon Rares…you can’t go back to sleep.”
“Mmmpf…just a few more minutes, darling…”
Dash rolled her eyes and latched her teeth onto Rarity’s mane. She gave it a quick tug, causing her eyes to snap open,
“OW! Rainbow Dash!” Rarity whispered angrily. “What’s your problem?!”
“Sorry, but I couldn't let you sleep in. We gotta do our shift.” Dash softly replied as she slid out of bed. She reached under the bed and pulled out a long black case with a strap attached to it. Rarity reached underneath her pillow and pulled her .44 Magnum from underneath it. She followed Dash as they crept out of the bedroom. Sapphire orbs gazed down one of the hallways, taking note of how many ponies were passed out on the floor. They made their way into the kitchen, only to find a burly red stallion asleep at the table. Rarity’s brow furrowed, and she smacked him with her tail,
“There are plenty of beds and cots in the basement, Big Mac. Go try sleeping there instead.”
Big Mac opened one eye and focused it on the Unicorn, “In case ya haven’t noticed, Ah’m a pretty big feller. Ya’ll know Ah can’t fit mah big behind in those itty bitty cots or beds.”
Dash's face dead panned, “Well, go figure it out. You’re drooling all over the table.”
He let out a defeated sigh, before rising to his hooves and slinking out of the kitchen. Dash grabbed a napkin and wiped his slobber off the table, before plopping down in the chair. Rarity walked over to the counter,
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Well, duh. There’s nopony who makes a cup of joe better than you.”
Rarity smiled, “Oh, stop it you. Although, I did dabble in the fine arts of coffee and creamers.”
“I’m sure you did, Fancy Filly.”
“Oh shush. You know I don’t like that silly little nickname you’re trying to force on me.”
“You love that nickname. Don’t try to deny it.”
“There’s nothing to deny.” Rarity went through the motions of brewing the coffee. “I’m not denying the fact that I can’t stand that name! Now, I’m not going to sit here and continue discussing that with you.” She levitated her favorite mug from one of the cabinets. She looked around in them again, “Dash, where’s your mug?”
A guttural scream cut through the night. Both mares looked at each other, before Dash gave her a toothy grin,
“Wow, they’re active pretty early, huh?”
Rarity sighed, “I was already not looking forward to working the midnight shift, but now I’ll actually have to pay attention.”
Dash arched a brow, “You...y-you don’t pay attention during your shifts? Uh...you know that could mean like, life or death, right?”
They heard Applejack’s muffled shouts from outside. A few seconds later, the sound of a rapid succession of rounds exploding from a weapon rang out. Rarity rolled her eyes,
“Of course she’d be on the machine gun. I swear, she just has no class.”
“There’s no ‘class’ in ‘zombie apocalypse’.” Dash replied. “And at least she’s not fitting any stereotypes and galloping around with her shot gun.”
The thunk of bodies dropping made their ears twitch. Dash trotted up to one of the barred windows and peeked outside.
“Holy shit, there's so many of them!” Dash whispered excitedly. “Hurry up with that coffee!!”
Rarity shot the mare a sideways look, “You can make your own coffee if you want to!”
Dash pouted and lightly stomped, “Noooo, I like the way you make it!”
She grabbed a random mug from the cabinet, “Then shut up!!”
The alabaster mare poured the steaming black liquid into the mugs. She looked at Dash with her peripheral vision, a small smile creeping on her face as she watched her friend do a little dance of excitement and stare out the window. Dash heard the mugs clink, and turned to see Rarity putting liquid chocolate into them. She licked her lips,
“Rarity, I think I’m falling in love with you.”
“Well take a number darling. You wouldn’t be the first.” Rarity replied with a giggle.
“You’re so conceited.”
“Look at you, using a word that has more than two syllables! I see somepony has been reading Twilight's dictionary. Either way, thank you for the compliment.” she finished off smugly. She poured the rest of the ingredients into the caffeinated concoction. She stirred them up, then passed a mug to Dash. The Pegasus trotted over to give her a friendly peck on the cheek,
“Thank you so much! You’re the best.”
The Unicorn’s face scrunched up, “Eww, you need to brush your teeth, you foul mouthed cretin! you have extremely bad bed breath.”
“Wooooow, good job killing that sweet moment." Dash stated as she slung the long black case on her back. “And your breath doesn't exactly smell like freshly picked daisies either, Fancy Filly.”
Rarity snorted angrily and got ready to spit out another insult, but Dash was already making her way out of the kitchen. She turned to grab her mug, giving a quick glance at the flesh eating monster that had suddenly appeared and was clawing away at the bars and plexi-glass. She trudged her way up the stairs to the balcony, and listened to the sounds of more gunfire. When she opened the steel door, the smell of metal, gunpowder, and decaying flesh assaulted her nostrils. Dash and Applejack peered over their shoulders and looked at her,
“Bout time ya showed up! Yer missin’ the show!” Applejack exclaimed.
“What show?” Rarity questioned. Dash squealed excitedly before getting up and leaning onto the railing. Applejack turned around,
“Lock an’ load that bad boy, sugarcube! Ah think that horde of flesh-munchers is gettin’ closer!!”
The sound of the machine gun being racked made Rarity spin around until she saw who was in control of it. Her jaw dropped as she watched her little sister slam a belt of rounds into the M240G, making sure the bolt was still forward,
“Who made you Gunner Bravo?!”
“I had waaaay too many energy drinks, and now I can't sleep!!!!” Sweetie took in a big gulp of air, "So I asked Big Mac to trade shifts with me!!!" She giggled excitedly as she slammed the bolt of the machine gun forward, "This is so AWESOME!!"
“Sweetie Belle, Big Mac is usually a Gunner because he can handle the recoil!!”
Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder, “Now, now, she’s fine, Rares. She shot down the first batch of them flesh eaters when they got too close.”
“Oh yes, speaking of ‘too close’, there was one by the kitchen window. Whoever’s on the first floor tonight should go take care of it.”
“Was it movin’ kinda fast?”
“A little bit. Oh, and snarling at me. It was practically dying to get to me.”
Applejack rolled her eyes at the pun and whipped out her walkie-talkie, “Hey Lil’ Sis, Rares' sayin’ that there might be a Trotter somewhere that’s mighty close ta the house. Go find it.”
There was a few seconds of static, “Good ta go, Big Sis!!”
A few moments later, Apple Bloom bolted out of one of the side doors on the first floor. She was donning a bullet proof vest and a helmet with a blood-splattered face shield. She looked up at Rarity,
“Where’d ya see it?!”
“It was over by the kitchen window when I last saw it, dear!!”
“Ah’m gonna kill that sumbitch!!” Apple Bloom screamed out, before slinging her shotgun onto her back and breaking out into a furious gallop. More of the horde was getting closer to the house. The moans and groans of the undead raised in volume. Their glazed eyes glowed with a faint, pale green hue. They slowly limped and dragged themselves towards the house. Rarity and Dash sipped on their coffee as Sweetie rained hellfire on the zombies. Chunks of flesh, ooze, and dirt flew everywhere. Applejack scooted over to Rarity,
“Do ya mind makin’ me some of that famous coffee of yers? Ah’d sure like ta have a cup of it.”
Rarity sighed as she rose to her hooves, “Seriously, what is it with you all and my coffee?”
Applejack shrugged, “It’s just so good. An’ Ah figured Ah’d keep ya’ll company fer ya’ll's shift.”
“But our shift doesn’t end until eight in the morning.”
“Yeah, Ah know. Ah’m not gunna be able ta stay up the whole shift, but Ah’d least be able ta hang out with ya’ll fer another hour an’ a half, maybe two, if Ah get some of yer delicious coffee.”
Rarity smiled and playfully slapped her foreleg, “Oh, you silver-tongued devil, you! Always managing to charm me into getting whatever you want.” She turned and walked back to the door, Applejack’s eyes never leaving her form until the door shut. Dash took a sip of her coffee,
“Sooo...‘Silver-Tongued Devil’, when are you going to tell Rarity how you feel about her?”
Applejack leaned over and grabbed her Barrett M90 that was leaning on the railing, “How can Ah, at a time like this?” she got into a comfortable firing position and aimed the barrel at a lone zombie. Dash gave her a few moments to steady her breathing. When the farmer was ready, she fired a round clean into the zombie’s skull, painting a nearby tree with brain-matter. “Now what was Ah sayin’? Oh yeah…now’s not the time…ya know in the middle of an apocalypse an' everythin'…”
Dash let out a soft chuckle, “I think this ‘zombies taking over the world’ shit is the perfect reason you should talk to her! I mean, we are officially the ‘live like there’s no tomorrow’ generation, ya know?” she pointed at something in the darkness, “Oh, hey, there’s a couple more heading this way.”
Applejack aimed downrange. She reloaded the sniper rifle and aimed again. A few more moments of silence occurred, before she fired another round. She quickly reloaded it, honed in on the second zombie, and fired again. It fell sideways as the left quadrant of it's head disintegrated into ash and blood.
“Your aim is a little off there, Jackie.” Dash drank some more of her coffee, “It went through the eye, not between them.”
“Ah didn’t space mah breathin’ like Ah was s’posed tah.” Applejack replied.
“Yeah, yeah...timing, breathing, all that good crap." She waved a hoof dismissively. "Anyways, are you going to let our beautiful friend slip right between your hooves?” Dash questioned. “Sounds like somepony isn’t being honest with themselves.”
Applejack rolled her eyes, “Ain’t nopony got time fer ya word play.” She let out a yawn and rested her rifle back to where it was, “Ah just…Ah don’t wanna risk ruinin’ what we already have…”
“Or…” Dash took a long slurp of her coffee, causing her orange friend to let out an irritated huff. “You could just take the chance, and have her become your marefriend.”
Applejack was about to respond, until they heard loud hoof steps thumping at the earth. They both looked over to see Apple Bloom galloping for her life. Dash quickly grabbed her black case and pulled out her AK-47. She slammed a magazine in, racked the bolt back to put a round in the chamber, and aimed downrange at the direction the young, canary colored mare came from. The horde was hauling after her, and while she managed to take some down, she just couldn't get them all.
“GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!!” Apple Bloom shrieked at the top of her lungs. Applejack spun around to look up at the younger Unicorn.
“Sweetie Belle, take ‘em down!!”
“I can’t! The barrel’s still too hot! If I force it to keep firing, I going to jam it!!”
Applejack whipped out her walkie-talkie, “Get Pinkie outside NOW!! There’s a whole mess of ‘em headin' yer way!!”
The horde drooled and roared, as they chased down the mare. There was a door that was slowly sliding down, and she slid under it before it slammed shut. The zombies pounded on the door, craving on the flesh of the living that they knew was inside. They got louder as they got more desperate to get in. Suddenly, there was the sound of buzzing that made them all quiet down. Their heads crackled and turned, as they all focused their attention on the direction of the sound, noticing it came from the back corner around the house. Applejack looked over at Dash,
“Lemme get a sip of that coffee. Things get real interestin' when Pinkie comes out.”
Dash passed the mug over, “As long as we’ve been doing this, I’ve yet to see what happens to a horde when she comes out.”
She took a sip before smiling, “Then yer goin’ ta be in fer a real treat.”
Pinkie rounded the corner with her humming chainsaw, earning the complete attention of all of the zombies. She had a chipper smile on her face, and her eyes had maintained their bright, baby blue shine. Her pink coat however, was a testament to her survival in this new world. She was covered in scars and fresh wounds that were shaped like bite marks. The zombies let out a roar before turning on her. Her friendly grin suddenly turned into a maniacal one, her pupils shrunk to pinpricks, and her mane went flat.
“We’re gonna have a great time!!!” she sang out, before charging at them with the chainsaw raised above her head. She brought it down on the first zombie. Blood splattered all over the others, as Pinkie chopped and hacked away at them. Dash let out an impressed whistle,
“Wow…she’s good. Like…scary good.”
Applejack nodded in agreement, “It’s weird, ain’t it? She can go from baker ta butcher in a matter of seconds.”
“I’m back with your coffee darling.” Rarity sang out. “I made a fresh pot, just for you.” she levitated the mug to her farming companion. Applejack grabbed it and flashed her a smile,
“A fresh pot just fer lil’ ol’ me? Such a generous thing fer ya ta do.”
Rarity giggled, while Dash shot Applejack an all-knowing look. The snow white Unicorn grabbed her mug and trotted up to the railing to join them. Her face contorted into disgust, and she winced at the site of Pinkie slicing and dicing up the zombies,
“Oh my, did it get that bad?"
“Yeah, there were a lot of ‘em that were gettin’ mighty close ta the house. Don’t wanna risk getting’ overrun, now do we?” Applejack replied.
“Besides, this is AWESOME! I mean, just look at her go!!” Dash exclaimed, as she took a big swig of her coffee. Rarity rolled her eyes while she looked between the two mares,
“So, besides watching Pinkie play the role of somepony in a slasher film, have I missed any interesting gossip?”
Applejack choked on her coffee, while Dash looked over at her and let out a chuckle. Rarity’s eyes lit up and she focused on Applejack,
“It seems like I did miss something!!” Rarity looked over at her winged friend, “What was it?”
Dash’s grin got even wider and more mischievous looking, “I think you should talk to ol’ Applejack here. She’s so honest, and could never lie to you.”
If looks could kill, the glare that Applejack shot at Dash would have struck her down at that very moment. Dash simply smirked and looked away from her. She grabbed her AK-47, “Hey Pinks, do you mind if I join you?!”
Pinkie slashed through one of the monster's stomach, causing entrails to fly everywhere, “Sure!! Just don’t get bit!! We don’t know if you'll turn or not!!”
Dash finished off her coffee, “I can do that! Simple enough!!” her wings snapped open and she took flight to join her crazy pink friend. Rarity scooted closer to Applejack and looked at her with a sly grin on her face,
“So darling…what did I miss?”
Applejack blushed and looked away, “Nothin’ much. Just R.D bein’ a jerk is all.”
“Dash may have her moments-” they both cringed as they watched Dash crush a zombie’s skull in with the butt of her rifle, before turning to mow down a row of them not too far away from her, “But…she does mean well.”
“If ya say so…” she sighed and took a sip of her coffee, “This is delicious. If Ah had an ol’ lady or feller that could make mah coffee like this, Ah might just marry ‘em.”
Rarity raised a brow, “I didn’t know that you were the type to have an interest in mares.”
“Yeah, the same way that nopony thought Dash was completely straight fer a while. Ya know…with those...pride flags attached ta her head an' butt.” They both giggled at the statement before she continued. “But yeah, Ah do have a slight appreciation fer a mare. Besides…it shouldn’t be just about the gender. Sometimes, a mare can treat ya better than a stallion. Ah’m not sayin’ all stallions are bad, but Ah’ve been in enough relationships ta know that both genders have been able ta treat me well an’ bad. That’s just how the world works.”
Rarity rubbed her chin thoughtfully, “I’ve never thought of it that way…” her eyes got a slight glaze over them as she looked on at the fight between Dash, Pinkie, and the horde. Applejack slightly frowned,
“Ya alright Rares?”
Rarity took a dainty sip, “I wish I had thought of it that way such a long time ago. I guess I was always looking for a knight in shining armor, and not a knight in a…dress…”
“Mares can wear armor as well, ya know.”
Rarity playfully slapped her foreleg. “Oh, you know what I meant. Perhaps a ‘Princess Charming’ instead of a ‘Prince’.”
“Or a farmer…” Applejack muttered under her breath.
“What was that darling?”
“Nothin’, sugarcube.”
“OW!! THAT’S NOT A NICE THING TO DO!!”
They both turned to see a zombie gnawing on Pinkie’s shoulder. The pink mare got an angry look on her face,
“If you can’t play nice, then you can’t play AT ALL!!!” she screamed before decapitating it. It's head rolled a little bit, and she picked it up by the remnants of it's thin, scraggly mane. She laughed maniacally, before throwing the head with enough force to crack the skull of another zombie. She then flailed her chainsaw around wildly, tearing through more zombies and spraying blackish-blood, ooze, and guts everywhere. Rarity and Applejack winced at the sight,
“Does anypony know why Pinkie is the only one who can get bit and not turn into one of those…creatures?”
“Twi' said somethin’ about her sugar intake. She ate so much of the stuff over the years, it actually created some kinda coating in her flesh, right underneath the skin. So them flesh-munchers can break the skin, but whatever it is that makes 'em turn, never actually gets intah her system.”
Rarity huffed, “Strange how her diet, one that would make everypony else a diabetic…has managed to save her life.”
Applejack softly smiled, “That’s Pinkie fer ya.”
Rarity looked over at her and returned the smile, “Yes it is…”
Applejack felt the heat rush to her cheeks, and her heart flitter a little from seeing that smile. Rarity’s smile got even bigger and she leaned in,
“By the way, I did hear you. And...I think a farmer would be a nice change of pace for me...”
Applejack sputtered wildly, then froze as the Unicorn placed a gentle peck on her nose. She stayed like that for what seemed like forever before Rarity’s friendly expression turned into one of worry.
“Applejack? Applej-darling, are you alright?”
“So…does that mean yer interested in…me?”
Rarity rolled her eyes before giving her another smile. “Yes dear. And I’ve known you were interested in me for a while. I can read it all over your face. After all...you're a terrible liar."
Applejack finally relaxed, “So…um…Ah guess the proper thing ta do would be ta ask ya on a date…” she took Rarity’s hoof into her own, “Rarity...would ya do me the honors of joinin’ me on a date tomorrow night?”
“If there’s not a crazy horde trying to kill us off, of course.”
Applejack chuckled, “If there’s no crazy horde tryin’ ta kill us off.”
“Then I’d be delighted. I’m sure Fluttershy and Pinkie would be able to whip something up for us.”
Applejack had a big grin on her face, but it disappeared as fatigue started to kick in. She let out a big yawn,
“You should go ahead and turn in for the night, darling." Rarity suggested. "After all, you don't want to be too tired to fully enjoy our date tomorrow."
Applejack smiled sweetly at her, "Yer right 'bout that..." she rose to her hooves and nuzzled Rarity's cheek, "G'night, Sugar. Tell R.D G'night fer me, please."
“I will, darling.” Rarity replied softly as Applejack dragged her hooves along the ground, slowly making her way to the door. When the door shut, Rarity whipped out her pistol and aimed in on some individual zombies.
She fired.
'Well...tonight has been...very nice, for once.'
A zombie’s brains splattered to the ground.
'I'll have to thank Dash for getting her to finally admit to it.'
Taking aim.
'Now I have a delicious young mare for a date!'
A round whizzed from the barrel.
'This has turned out to be a perfect evening.'
A body dropped to the ground, lifeless once again.
'I should start reading some of my old romance novels...I'm probably a bit rusty now...'
Aim.
'But still,it's so nice to have something to look forward to!'
*CRACK!!*
The top half of a zombie's face exploded.
Her eyes went wide, and she let out a scream. Pinkie and Dash snapped their heads in her direction,
"What's wrong Rarity?!" Pinkie questioned.
Rarity looked down at them in panic and terror,
"I don't know what I'm going to wear for tomorrow night!!"
Pinkie and Dash let out loud huffs, before returning to destroying the zombies.
"Leave it to Rares to be worried about that at a time like this!" Dash grumbled.
Pinkie giggled and swung her chainsaw again, "At least she's worried about something normal ponies worry about!" she head butted a zombie hard enough to crush it's snout inward. "Hey, I bet I can get rid of more of them than you can!!"
Dash smirked and gunned down a zombie, "You're on!!!"
They jumped into the air and leaped into a large group of zombies. Rarity was drinking her coffee to calm her nerves, as she watched her friends fight. She slightly shook her head and whipped her pistol back out,
"Hey! Save a couple for me!!"
She leaped over the balcony railing to join them. They smiled as she jumped into the fray and started gunning zombies down. These were her friends. That would never change. No matter what happened, they would always be there for her, and be a part of her life. Yes...this was now her life. But, with them and the others, she couldn't really complain...
After all, this was just another day in it...
Author's Note
I've been stuck in a 'Walking Dead' marathon, so that's where this random little piece came from. That...and I got into a drunk conversation with a group of friends about how to survive a zombie apocalypse. *shrugs* All I know is, we'd be really prepared if shit went down.
And EEE-YUUUUP!!!! 
I put the title in the story!! No shame. None at all.
