Barn Surpriseby sparklepeepChaptersEpisode 1: Surprise in a BarnEpisode 2: More Barns, More SurprisesEpisode 3: How Many Barns Does Ponyville Have?!Epilogue: The Final BarnEpisode 1: Surprise in a Barn"Oh! Twilight Sparkle, I'm so very excited! I simply cannot believe that they finally shared their true feelings with each other! Oh, Lotus, more bath salts please!" "Yes, Rarity. I'm glad too. True friends shouldn't hide their feelings from each other." "FOREVER!", screamed Pinkie Pie as she poked her head out of a well-placed basket of sponges and sending them flying everywhere in the Pony Spa. Twilight thought to ask Pinkie how exactly she could fit inside such a small basket, but then thought better of it. Meanwhile, Rarity shook the sponges off her face, and lamented that she had to get another mud facial again to get the cotton candy smell from the sponge off of her mane. How long was Pinkie soaking in the basket anyway? "So what are you talking about? Huh? Huh?" Pinkie started bouncing, sending the rest of the sponges into the air, hitting Rarity square on her face. "Oh Pinkie Pie, Rarity and I were just talking about Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Remember the sleepover last night?" The following paragraph is presented in Pinkie Vision: BOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCE SUGARSUGARSUGAR CUPCAKECUPCAKECUPCAKE ooo I don't feel so well bouncebouncebouncecollapse. "Um, not really." "Oh, that's right, you ate some of the sleeping herbs Zacora gave me and fell asleep in Spike's bed." Twilight chuckled at the memory of Pinkie Pie snuggling into a bed half her size. "Well, I found this game called Seven Minutes in Heaven in the second volume of the sleepover guide Princess Luna gave me last week, and AJ and Rainbow just had to be the first to try it. Well, one thing led to another and they confessed that they were in love with each other!" "Love?" "Yup!" "Love love?" "Yup!" "Oh my gosh, Twilight! This calls for a-" but Pinkie was already three miles away before she finished the sentence. Rarity's mane, newly combed, was once again messed up as the Pinkie-vortex drew all the water in the tub away. "Miss Lotus, I think we're going to need some more bath salts. And more bath. Heh heh..." "So, Rainbow, how'd you like the way we do it down on the farm?" Rainbow Dash, with a smile wide across her face and a straw sticking out from her mouth, laid perfectly content in a pile of hay. Wrapped in her wings was Applejack, curled up into a little ball and lying snug against Rainbow's tummy and legs. Her old cowpony hat flew off at some point an hour ago, but she was perfectly happy with her new hat: Rainbow's snout nuzzling against her tender coat. "Not bad. More than I expected from Ponyville's second best athlete." "Well, Sugarcube, how'd you like another round so I can show you who's really second best?" "You're on, AJ." Rainbow's stare melted Applejack's heart. She always cherished the moments when Rainbow Dash accepted her challenges with her sparkling eyes, but never until now did she noticed why those eyes were sparkling all along. "Always ready for some friendly-" "PARTY!" "Ahh!" Applejack and Rainbow Dash screamed and bucked the crazy pink pony who suddenly popped up behind them into the barn door. "Wow, girls, that was some teamwork," Pinkie Pie said as she slipped down to the floor, "Go team Appledash!". "Pinkie, we're havin' a private moment here? You mind scootin' outta the barn? What were you doin' here anyway?" "Twilight said that you and Rainbow Dash are in looooove so I thought I'd throw you a party so I came to the barn but then I fell asleep in the hay bales and then it got really shaky and rumbly and it was like WEEEE and then suddenly it all stopped and I remembered why I was here so I popped up and went all PARTY! and then you two kicked me." "You were here? The whole time?" A shade of red now dominated Rainbow's face. Applejack loved it when she got angry, and she giggled. "Yeah, so what were you doing? Were you fighting? Hay wrestling? Pinning the tail on the pony? Pony line dancing? Practicing your new bass guitar and juggling routine?" "No, Pinkie, what do you think we were doing?" "Um, making cupcakes?" "No!" Now Rainbow's face was a different shade of red. AJ saw it once before when the Wonderbolts praised her for saving their lives, but it's a shade that rarely shows up on Rainbow's cheeks. "So what were you doing? Huh? Huh?" "We were, you know, doing... that." "That?" "Yeah, Pinkie, that." "Oooooooooooh. Thaaaat..." And now Rainbow's face was even redder. Applejack really wanted to take a bite of it right now; Pinkie be darned. "I understand, Rainbow. Wink wink." Pinkie, of course, did not actually wink. "Well, Pinkie Pie, I'm glad you do. So, can you give us a little privacy-" "Hey! You know what this calls for?" "A party?" "No, silly fillies! A THREESOME!" Frozen in fear, Applejack and Rainbow Dash held each other closer than before. Pinkie happily skipped out of the barn, saying to herself "now where am I going to find an oboe?" Episode 2: More Barns, More Surprises"Rarity Rarity Rarity have you seen my oboe?! Oh hi Sweetie Belle, where's Rarity?" Pinkie Pie hopped into Carousel Boutique looking for Rarity who, obviously, would know where her oboe was. However, all she found was a little filly with her eyes rolled up and hoof pointing towards a counter where Opal seemed to be floating in the air. "Ooo, Sweetie did you fillies become the Cutie Mark Crusader Cat Levitators?" "Eh, no Pinkie Pie," Sweetie Belle shrugged, "Opal's sitting on top of Rarity who is trying to find her hammer. You know, you grown up ponies are so weird." Now that Sweetie Belle mentioned it Pinkie realized that Opal wasn't so much levitating as vibrating on a shaking Rarity. "Oh how dreadful! Wherever did my hammer go? Oh, Pinkie Pie, how much time do I have before those disgusting creatures tear through my wonderful dresses again?" "What are you talking about, Rarity?" Pinkie tilted her head. Rarity, emerging from behind the counter, popped her head out and sent Opal flying into a wall. Her elegant mane was topped by a slightly less elegant midnight blue hard hat. Her eyes widen in fear and she whisper, "the parasprites". "AHH! PARASPRITES! WHERE?! I NEED MY TUBA NOW!!!!!" Pinkie Pie started bouncing around the store, sending dresses flying everywhere and Sweetie Belle behind a pair of dressing room doors. "I was hoping that you would tell me." "How would I know?" "Well you're looking for an oboe, right?" "Oh, silly Rarity!" Pinkie suddenly calmed down and stopped herself midair. "The oboe's not for parasprites." "Oh. Well then. No need for this outrageous hat," Rarity said as she telekinetically removed her helmet, "or boarding up my beautiful windows either. Now, Pinkie Pie, why in Ponyville were you looking for an oboe?" "Oh! It's for a threesome!" "A threesome?" Sweetie Belle poked her head out from the dressing room. "What's that, Rarity?" "Well it's like if you and Apple Bloom and Scoot---" "That's quite enough, Pinkie Pie." Rarity managed to shove the hard hat into Pinkie's mouth just in time. "This is not a conversation for young fillies. Go to your room now." Sweetie Belle scooted away and sulked. "Now, Pinkie Pie, could you tell me exactly what is going on?" "WellrememberthismorningwhenwewereinthespaandIwaslike--- [Insert Flashback Sequence] ERROR: AUTORECAP INITIATION FAILURE MANUAL FLASHBACK NEEDED PLEASE REREAD THE ORIGINAL BARN SURPRISE AT THIS POINT THANK YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY ALSO THIS ERROR TEXT SHOULD BE IN A FIXED WIDTH FONT SO PLEASE PRETEND THAT IT IS ---andthenIwaslike*GASP*thiscallsforathreesome." Pinkie Pie finally remembered to breathe. "And I suppose that you needed an oboe to play suitably romantic music while this… threesome… is happening, am I correct?" Rarity, despite just having to dodge waves of Pinkie Saliva, remained composed and business-like. "Eh, no. Rarity, an oboe's, like, long," Pinkie rolled her eyes at Rarity, "and you can push it inside narrow places?" "Oh I was hoping you wouldn't say that," Rarity let out a sigh, "it is such a horrific idea." "Rarity, you are such a prude," Pinkie said as she grabbed a nearby dress, "you need to learn how to party!" "Pinkie Pie, darling, I know how to, *cough* 'party', yes," Rarity somehow managed to make air quotes with her hoofs, "but not with an oboe! It's got so many shape edges, and bumps and wedges and valves---" "But the bumps are what makes it so---" "---and its curvature is simply dreadfully dull. Besides, it is so unsanitary, with all those gross places that bacteria and germs can gather," Rarity shuddered, "it should be a crime to place an oboe into someone you care about." "But---" There were no "but"s at this point, now that Rarity is riled up. She spent the next eternity or so explaining to Pinkie Pie why musical instruments in general were so unsanitary and that the Ponyville marching band should really wipe down their instruments after every blow and so on and so forth. "I wonder where Pinkie Pie is," Rainbow Dash asked as she laid curled up in Applejack's legs atop a brand new pile of hay, "normally it doesn't take her this long to find me." "Ah ain't complainin'. Reckon whatever's keepin' her would give us enough time for round three," Applejack said with a smirk, admiring how fine her hat looks on cute little Rainbow Dash, "'sides, ain't nobody in Ponyville know 'bout Big Mac's backup barn." "Why does your brother have a backup barn hidden behind the farm, anyway?" "You don't wanna know," Applejack suddenly got all serious-like, "and you ain't gonna." "Oookay, whatever you say Appletart." "Eh, Rainbow, can you stop calling me by mah aunt's name?" "I swear it's impossible to find pet names for you." "Sorry Rainbow, it's just a little freaky when ya'll scream my great grandma's name s'all." "I bet she was hot." "Rainbow---" Applejack was about to give Rainbow a good spank in the flank when the backup barn doors (that's the doors to the backup barn, not the backup to the doors to the backup barn or any other barn) flew open and a pink blur appeared before them. "SURPRISE!!!!!" "AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Rainbow and Applejack instinctively huddled together. "Oops, forgot my oboe," Pinkie reached into her saddle bag for the long, oddly shaped instrument. "AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Rainbow and Applejack instinctively snapped their hind legs shut. "Pinkie Pie I told you to get rid of that flute!" Rarity slowly trotted into the barn, taking care to avoid any potential mud-related puddles. "Fine." Pinkie put the oboe back and as the oboe entered the bag air entered into the huddled lovers' lungs again. "Terribly sorry she scared you like that," Rarity trotted towards the now more relaxed ponies, "I told her that the oboe was, frankly, a stupid idea." "Ah'm thankful and all that, Rarity, but what the hay are you doing here?" "Well," Rarity started opening her saddle bags with her unicorn magic, "Pinkie Pie told me about her plan for a threesome involving an oboe, and I thought, that just won't do! I couldn't let you suffer like that. After all, we are BFFs, right?" "Right," Rainbow Dash said hopefully, "that was a horrible idea and I for one am glad you stopped it from happening. Now would you mind leaving us alone?" Rarity didn't seem to hear the last part of Rainbow's speech balloon. "I'm glad you agree, Rainbow Dash. So, I made you loveponies these!" In a brilliant and unnecessary flash, Rarity revealed her latest creations: two elegantly crafted, um, saddles? "What the hay are those?!" "Oh, Applejack, I'm not surprised that you don't know what these are," Rarity chuckle as she started demonstrating how it was used, "they are the latest craze in the, shall we say, darker fashion markers of Canterlot. You see, you unhook these here, and there, and you place it around your flank and do this and this and that and---it's probably going to be hard without unicorn magic but I'm sure Rainbow can help you---now you finally put this here and, voila! I'm just like a stallion!" "Ooo! Pretty!" Pinkie Pie somehow has gotten under Rarity and admired her latest creation. Applejack, in the meantime, was staring blankly at Rarity with her jaws open. "Now, Pinkie Pie, I've made one for everypony. Here's yours. Give it a lick, will you?" "It tastes like frosting!" "Yes it does! Isn't it wonderful!" "Mmfmfmmf!" "Oh Pinkie Pie, it is very unladylike to talk with your mouth full." "Look, Applejack, I'm a unicorn! Applejack? Hello? Are you there?" "Rainbow! You're not supposed to wear it on your head!" "Well I bet it's going to make my headbutts 20% stronger!" Rainbow started waving her new horn in Applejack's face. "Let's see if I can use my new unicorn magic to slap some sense into her." "Applejack, darling? Are you all right?" "Um, ah, yes. Rainbow Dash! Cut that out! Sorry, ah was, um, confused. Ain't seen nothin' like this before. No ma'am. Not sure how to handle it." "Well, Applejack, you're sure to love yours. I've made it extra special just for you." "Um, 'kay. Thanks? So is it apple scented or somethin'?" Applejack was getting slightly more comfortable with this at this point, but she was still slowly shifting and chewing nervously on a piece of straw. "Oh, how pedestrian! Of course not! The most hardworking pony of Ponyville deserves something extra special! Here," Rarity leaned in closer---and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie did the same as they knew that when Rarity promoted something to hush-hush status it must be special---and giggled and whispered, "I modeled it after Big Macintosh." All at the same time, Pinkie Pie gave a *GASP* louder than the one from the first episode, Applejack froze solid and fell over sideways, and Rainbow Dash's had a little sonic rainboom in her hindquarters. Episode 3: How Many Barns Does Ponyville Have?!"A threesome? What's that?" Apple Bloom asked quizzically while sipping on a bottle of apple juice during the Cutie Mark Crusaders Weekly Cutie Mark Obtainment Planning Session. "I don't know, Apple Bloom. Big sis Rarity wouldn't tell me. She said it wasn't a proper thing for little fillies to know." "That means," Scootaloo butted in---physically, even, but with her head and not her flank, "that it's got to do with cutie marks! And if Rarity won't tell us about it I bet Rainbow Dash will!" "Is that your solution to every problem?" Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes at Scootaloo. "Yes," Scootaloo said with a grin, "now come on, get in the wagon!" And the little fillies put on their helmets and scooted off to find Rainbow Dash. "No, my little ponies, I haven't seen Rainbow Dash all day," Twilight said gently as she opened her door and found the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Twilight, I haven't even asked you my question yet," Scootaloo countered, "oh my goodness do you have magical psychic powers?" "No," Twilight said with a small frown, "but when have you ever come to the library looking for anything besides Rainbow Dash?" "Well, books are kind of lame." Scootaloo stuck her tongue out as if she was trying to throw up. "Books aren't lame," Twilight was trying to keep her composure in front of all these little ponies, "they contain the magic of knowledge!" And with that, Twilight took a small step to her right and revealed a glowing collection of books just behind the door. She made sure that they were extra sparkly using her unicorn magic. "Hey," Sweetie Belle suddenly had a smart idea, "Twilight! Maybe you can tell us what we want to know?" "Oh?" Twilight said with a smug look. "This little filly here comes seeking knowledge. Of course I can tell you what you need to know." "What's a threesome?" Apple Bloom blurted out. "A what the what now?" "A threesome, Twilight. Pinkie Pie said that she was going to have one with Applejack and Rainbow Dash and it was even better than a party and when I asked her what it was she said that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and I could do it too but she didn't tell me what it was and Rarity said that I was too young to know which means this has to do with cutie marks and so we need to know what a threesome is so we can do it with each other---" Twilight Sparkle couldn't believe what Sweetie Belle was saying. Even though it's been over a year since she moved to Ponyville and had friends and knew how to deal with social situations this has completely taken her by surprise. Her mouth hung open and a large drip of cold sweat formed on her head. "Twilight? You okay?" Apple Bloom asked with genuine concern. "Eh, ahehe, yes! Yes! I'm okay! Soooo... I don't think I can help you. But I can give you some books! You can read them! Yes! Books! I love books! You know me: Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn who really likes to study! Hehe. Okay. Baaaaai!" And Twilight shut the door as tightly as she could. "But what about our books---" Before Sweetie Belle could finish her sentence a dozen books flew out of the library's second floor windows onto the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They then heard all the windows of the library slam shut and the door double bolted from within all at the same time. "Well," Sweetie Belle said as she emerged from a pile of books, "at least we wore helmets." "I still think we need to go find Rainbow Dash right now." "Come up, Scootaloo, let's just get to our clubhouse and read these books," Apple Bloom said, "you know we ain't never going to find Rainbow Dash." "That's true. All the ponies in Ponyville said that they haven't seen Rainbow in days," Sweetie Belle chimed in. "What about Pinkie Pie and Rarity? You said they saw Rainbow." "If my big sister was going to help us we wouldn't even be doing this," Sweetie Belle pursed her lips, "and the Cakes told me that Pinkie Pie's locked herself in the basement of Sugarcube Corner for the last few days." "What about my big sister," said Apple Bloom, "I heard Granny Smith sayin' that Rainbow's been in the barn quite a bit recently. We can stop by on the way to the clubhouse." "Fine," Scootaloo frowned as she changed her heading, "at least it's not reading." Big Macintosh stood proudly in the orchard, surveying the majestic apple trees of the Apple family. Straw in his mouth, the red colt was thinking ahead to applebucking season and trying to figure out the best way to deal with the harvest. That is, until he was interrupted by his adorable little sister. "Hey Big Macintosh what's a threesome?" Big Mac, for the second time in this year, dropped his straw with widen eyes as an unconquerable horde charged at him. This time, though, he wished it was parasprites. "Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and I wanted to know what it is so we can have one Pinkie Pie said it's something really good friends do but we have no idea how to do it can you tell us maybe once we're done you and Applejack and me can have one too since we're good friends and---" Before Apple Bloom could finish her sentence, Big Macintosh grew an impossible shade of red, steam came out of his ears and he fell over to the side. Scootaloo gave him a poke---stiff as a corpse. "Was that supposed to happen?" Sweetie Belle asked her stunned friend. "I ain't never seen that before." "Well, he's alive. Let's go find Rainbow Dash." "I don't know, Scootaloo," Sweetie Belle frowned, "maybe that word, it's some kind of curse." "Then how come Twilight didn't fall over?" "She's magical, duh!" Apple Bloom has now completely forgotten her brother. "And if we aren't careful we may curse Rainbow Dash too!" Scootaloo finally realized the weight of the situation. "We need to read these books, Crusaders," Sweetie Belle said with a righteous look on her face, "it may be the only hope for saving Big Macintosh!" The fillies looked at each other with a renewed sense of purpose. This wasn't just about the three of them having a threesome now. This is now bigger. It may involve all of Ponyville. In fact, this forbidden knowledge may even involve all of Equestria. "Cutie Mark Crusader: Ancient Curse Breakers, go!" "Let me do the talking," Apple Bloom whispered as the Crusaders walked into Cherilee's office, "she likes me better since I actually go to school." "Hey," Scootaloo said, "I'd go more often if this stupid Earth Pony school had flight lessons." "Why hello, my little ponies," Cheerilee said cheerfully, "I never expected you to show up on a day when we don't have school." "Well, Ms. Cheerilee," Apple Bloom said, "we were readin' a book Twilight lent us and we couldn't understand some of the words so---" "You're reading ahead! I am so proud of you! Now, Apple Bloom, can you hand me the book and show me which part you had trouble with?" Apple Bloom pulled a book out of her saddle bag and meekly handed it over to Cheerilee. "The title, Ms. Cheerilee. And everything else I guess..." "Yeah, I'm not sure why a government of circus performers has anything to do with a magical curs---" Scootaloo stopped as Sweetie Belle shoved a hoof in her mouth and smiled at Cheerilee. "She can't know," whispered the white unicorn, "we're operating in low profile." "Oh fillies and your games," Cheerilee smiled as she remembered her youth fondly, "now let's see what you have here... 'Carnal Congress for Curious Colts and...'" As Cheerilee trailed off, Apple Bloom was amazed. Even her teacher had trouble reading the title. This must be some kind of mystical spellbook! "Um, Apple Bloom," Cheerilee's smile started to waver as she said nervously, "this is a really hard---I mean---difficult, book. Are you sure you really---" "Yes," the Cutie Mark Crusaders replied simultaneously. "Well, fillies," Cheerilee said as she started shoving the Crusaders out the front door, "I can't tell you anything about this book without getting fired. So, sorry. Maybe you want to go do more things to earn your cutie marks first? Have you tried ziplining? I heard it's fun! Oh look at the time I have to run. Don't do drugs! Stay in school!" And with that, Cheerilee slammed the door on the Crusaders who flew a few feet into the air and landed in variously positions, with the book landing square on Scootaloo's head. "This has to be a conspiracy," Scootaloo declared, "everypony knows about what a threesome is but every time we try to find out they either go crazy and make us leave or get turned into stone!" "How horrible," said a yellow pegasus walking by with a few birds flying behind her, "is there another cockatrice on the loose? "Fluttershy! Of course!" Sweetie Belle screamed a little too loudly. "If anypony can help it must be Fluttershy!" "Help with what, Sweetie Belle?" "Oh please, Fluttershy," Apple Bloom started pleading, "we accidentally turned Big Macintosh into stone with an magical curse and the only way to save him is to learn about carnal congress from this book that Twilight gave us and---" "Hush---not another word," Fluttershy said with a smile and a slight blush, "of course I can help, but you know it's much better to learn about these things with a walk through the woods than from a book, right?" "You mean, like a quest," Scootaloo's eyes lit up. "Not exa---" "Cutie Mark Crusaders Forest Quest YAY!" By the time the four ponies emerged from the edge of the forest the stars had come out. Fluttershy led the herd, humming the song she sang to the fillies just earlier to herself and smiling. "The birds and the bees and eggs and honey..." The Cutie Mark Crusaders tagged behind, staggering a little and were in a little worse shape. "I ain't never seein' bunnies the same way again," Apple Bloom said with eyes wide open. "Now I understand why some ponies ask Rarity to put in special holes in their dresses," Sweetie Belle said, "but we still haven't figured out what a threesome is." "You know, Sweetie, I ain't itchin' to find out." "Me neither." Scootaloo, though, was in the worst shape of them all. Her head hung low and she wasn't even sad about now having found Rainbow Dash anymore. After all, now she knows that she'll never be able to be Rainbow Dash's girlfriend because you need a boy pony and a girl pony to do things that boyfriends and girlfriends do and, well, she ain't no boy pony and neither was Dash. "Um, excuse me, fillies, do you mind?" Fluttershy stopped and turned around as they reached Sweet Apple Acres. "I'm shy." The fillies looked at her blushing face, and then at Big Macintosh lying on the ground. "But Fluttershy I don't think there's any magi---" Sweetie Belle shoved her hoof into Apple Bloom's mouth as she smiled at Fluttershy and backed away. "What she meant was, thanks Fluttershy! We're going to go away now. Really, really far away." And with that, the Crusaders slowly trotted backwards until they went into a full gallop away from Sweet Apple Acres. Fluttershy, after seeing the fillies disappear on the horizon, slowly trotted up to the fallen colt and nervously nuzzled him on his bright, red face. "Excuse me, um, Mr. Macintosh. Or is it Mr. Apple? Oh my goodness, I'm rambling. Um. Anyway, your sister told me that they turned you into stone and this was the only way to save you. So, um, I hope you don't mind." Big Macintosh's brain and body have been functional for a few hours now---he was just lying there because it was actually rather comfortable. He certainly didn't mind that a beautiful pegusus seems to think that he needs her help. Before he could finish his thoughts, though, Fluttershy snuggled up next to him. "Um, Mr. Macintosh, is this helping?" "Eee...yup." Relieved, Fluttershy gave a little "yay" before she stopped being shy and started fluttering under the stars. Epilogue: The Final Barn"Rainbow Dash, this was the best idea you ever had. We ain't been interrupted for a whole week!" "What'd I tell you, huh? There's no way Pinkie Pie can find us in the skies." "Reckon you're right. But, Dash, did you really have to make the cloud house shaped like a barn?" "Hey, I thought it'd make it feel like home for you." "It'd be just a mite better if you got some magic from Twilight so I could walk on them clouds." "I prefer the 'if you stop holding on to me you'll fall to your death' system we got here, if you don't mind me saying so." "Well, pardner, I guess I just have to keep holdin' on mighty tight now. So, ready for round 73?" "Always. And this time, I'm going to make you lose your hat." "Ain't worked the last 72 times." "You are on, pardner." Outside the cloud barn in the sky, Pinkie Pie was sitting in her latest invention with Scootaloo, sharing a giant tub of popcorn. "So, Pinkie Pie," Scootaloo said as round 73 was over and Rainbow Dash fell asleep. "Yes?" "Thanks for bringing me up here." "No problem! Now you see there's always more to learn? It's not always about boy ponies and girl ponies. You can do whatever you want as long as you have fun and protection," Pinkie Pie knocked on her and Scootaloo's helmets much to Scootaloo's dismay, "sometimes you can have two boy ponies or two girl ponies or even ten boy ponies and one girl pony and---" "Hey, Pinkie Pie, I have a question." "Yes, Scootaloo? Is it about the amazing lollipop stabilizers on my stealth candyclopter or the---" "No! No! It's about, you know, them," Scootaloo nudged her head towards the open barn window. "What about the loveponies? You want more popcorn?" "No! Yes! Well," Scootaloo blushed a little, "does it count as having a threesome with Rainbow Dash and Applejack if I'm watching?"
Episode 1: Surprise in a Barn"Oh! Twilight Sparkle, I'm so very excited! I simply cannot believe that they finally shared their true feelings with each other! Oh, Lotus, more bath salts please!" "Yes, Rarity. I'm glad too. True friends shouldn't hide their feelings from each other." "FOREVER!", screamed Pinkie Pie as she poked her head out of a well-placed basket of sponges and sending them flying everywhere in the Pony Spa. Twilight thought to ask Pinkie how exactly she could fit inside such a small basket, but then thought better of it. Meanwhile, Rarity shook the sponges off her face, and lamented that she had to get another mud facial again to get the cotton candy smell from the sponge off of her mane. How long was Pinkie soaking in the basket anyway? "So what are you talking about? Huh? Huh?" Pinkie started bouncing, sending the rest of the sponges into the air, hitting Rarity square on her face. "Oh Pinkie Pie, Rarity and I were just talking about Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Remember the sleepover last night?" The following paragraph is presented in Pinkie Vision: BOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCE SUGARSUGARSUGAR CUPCAKECUPCAKECUPCAKE ooo I don't feel so well bouncebouncebouncecollapse. "Um, not really." "Oh, that's right, you ate some of the sleeping herbs Zacora gave me and fell asleep in Spike's bed." Twilight chuckled at the memory of Pinkie Pie snuggling into a bed half her size. "Well, I found this game called Seven Minutes in Heaven in the second volume of the sleepover guide Princess Luna gave me last week, and AJ and Rainbow just had to be the first to try it. Well, one thing led to another and they confessed that they were in love with each other!" "Love?" "Yup!" "Love love?" "Yup!" "Oh my gosh, Twilight! This calls for a-" but Pinkie was already three miles away before she finished the sentence. Rarity's mane, newly combed, was once again messed up as the Pinkie-vortex drew all the water in the tub away. "Miss Lotus, I think we're going to need some more bath salts. And more bath. Heh heh..." "So, Rainbow, how'd you like the way we do it down on the farm?" Rainbow Dash, with a smile wide across her face and a straw sticking out from her mouth, laid perfectly content in a pile of hay. Wrapped in her wings was Applejack, curled up into a little ball and lying snug against Rainbow's tummy and legs. Her old cowpony hat flew off at some point an hour ago, but she was perfectly happy with her new hat: Rainbow's snout nuzzling against her tender coat. "Not bad. More than I expected from Ponyville's second best athlete." "Well, Sugarcube, how'd you like another round so I can show you who's really second best?" "You're on, AJ." Rainbow's stare melted Applejack's heart. She always cherished the moments when Rainbow Dash accepted her challenges with her sparkling eyes, but never until now did she noticed why those eyes were sparkling all along. "Always ready for some friendly-" "PARTY!" "Ahh!" Applejack and Rainbow Dash screamed and bucked the crazy pink pony who suddenly popped up behind them into the barn door. "Wow, girls, that was some teamwork," Pinkie Pie said as she slipped down to the floor, "Go team Appledash!". "Pinkie, we're havin' a private moment here? You mind scootin' outta the barn? What were you doin' here anyway?" "Twilight said that you and Rainbow Dash are in looooove so I thought I'd throw you a party so I came to the barn but then I fell asleep in the hay bales and then it got really shaky and rumbly and it was like WEEEE and then suddenly it all stopped and I remembered why I was here so I popped up and went all PARTY! and then you two kicked me." "You were here? The whole time?" A shade of red now dominated Rainbow's face. Applejack loved it when she got angry, and she giggled. "Yeah, so what were you doing? Were you fighting? Hay wrestling? Pinning the tail on the pony? Pony line dancing? Practicing your new bass guitar and juggling routine?" "No, Pinkie, what do you think we were doing?" "Um, making cupcakes?" "No!" Now Rainbow's face was a different shade of red. AJ saw it once before when the Wonderbolts praised her for saving their lives, but it's a shade that rarely shows up on Rainbow's cheeks. "So what were you doing? Huh? Huh?" "We were, you know, doing... that." "That?" "Yeah, Pinkie, that." "Oooooooooooh. Thaaaat..." And now Rainbow's face was even redder. Applejack really wanted to take a bite of it right now; Pinkie be darned. "I understand, Rainbow. Wink wink." Pinkie, of course, did not actually wink. "Well, Pinkie Pie, I'm glad you do. So, can you give us a little privacy-" "Hey! You know what this calls for?" "A party?" "No, silly fillies! A THREESOME!" Frozen in fear, Applejack and Rainbow Dash held each other closer than before. Pinkie happily skipped out of the barn, saying to herself "now where am I going to find an oboe?"
Episode 2: More Barns, More Surprises"Rarity Rarity Rarity have you seen my oboe?! Oh hi Sweetie Belle, where's Rarity?" Pinkie Pie hopped into Carousel Boutique looking for Rarity who, obviously, would know where her oboe was. However, all she found was a little filly with her eyes rolled up and hoof pointing towards a counter where Opal seemed to be floating in the air. "Ooo, Sweetie did you fillies become the Cutie Mark Crusader Cat Levitators?" "Eh, no Pinkie Pie," Sweetie Belle shrugged, "Opal's sitting on top of Rarity who is trying to find her hammer. You know, you grown up ponies are so weird." Now that Sweetie Belle mentioned it Pinkie realized that Opal wasn't so much levitating as vibrating on a shaking Rarity. "Oh how dreadful! Wherever did my hammer go? Oh, Pinkie Pie, how much time do I have before those disgusting creatures tear through my wonderful dresses again?" "What are you talking about, Rarity?" Pinkie tilted her head. Rarity, emerging from behind the counter, popped her head out and sent Opal flying into a wall. Her elegant mane was topped by a slightly less elegant midnight blue hard hat. Her eyes widen in fear and she whisper, "the parasprites". "AHH! PARASPRITES! WHERE?! I NEED MY TUBA NOW!!!!!" Pinkie Pie started bouncing around the store, sending dresses flying everywhere and Sweetie Belle behind a pair of dressing room doors. "I was hoping that you would tell me." "How would I know?" "Well you're looking for an oboe, right?" "Oh, silly Rarity!" Pinkie suddenly calmed down and stopped herself midair. "The oboe's not for parasprites." "Oh. Well then. No need for this outrageous hat," Rarity said as she telekinetically removed her helmet, "or boarding up my beautiful windows either. Now, Pinkie Pie, why in Ponyville were you looking for an oboe?" "Oh! It's for a threesome!" "A threesome?" Sweetie Belle poked her head out from the dressing room. "What's that, Rarity?" "Well it's like if you and Apple Bloom and Scoot---" "That's quite enough, Pinkie Pie." Rarity managed to shove the hard hat into Pinkie's mouth just in time. "This is not a conversation for young fillies. Go to your room now." Sweetie Belle scooted away and sulked. "Now, Pinkie Pie, could you tell me exactly what is going on?" "WellrememberthismorningwhenwewereinthespaandIwaslike--- [Insert Flashback Sequence] ERROR: AUTORECAP INITIATION FAILURE MANUAL FLASHBACK NEEDED PLEASE REREAD THE ORIGINAL BARN SURPRISE AT THIS POINT THANK YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY ALSO THIS ERROR TEXT SHOULD BE IN A FIXED WIDTH FONT SO PLEASE PRETEND THAT IT IS ---andthenIwaslike*GASP*thiscallsforathreesome." Pinkie Pie finally remembered to breathe. "And I suppose that you needed an oboe to play suitably romantic music while this… threesome… is happening, am I correct?" Rarity, despite just having to dodge waves of Pinkie Saliva, remained composed and business-like. "Eh, no. Rarity, an oboe's, like, long," Pinkie rolled her eyes at Rarity, "and you can push it inside narrow places?" "Oh I was hoping you wouldn't say that," Rarity let out a sigh, "it is such a horrific idea." "Rarity, you are such a prude," Pinkie said as she grabbed a nearby dress, "you need to learn how to party!" "Pinkie Pie, darling, I know how to, *cough* 'party', yes," Rarity somehow managed to make air quotes with her hoofs, "but not with an oboe! It's got so many shape edges, and bumps and wedges and valves---" "But the bumps are what makes it so---" "---and its curvature is simply dreadfully dull. Besides, it is so unsanitary, with all those gross places that bacteria and germs can gather," Rarity shuddered, "it should be a crime to place an oboe into someone you care about." "But---" There were no "but"s at this point, now that Rarity is riled up. She spent the next eternity or so explaining to Pinkie Pie why musical instruments in general were so unsanitary and that the Ponyville marching band should really wipe down their instruments after every blow and so on and so forth. "I wonder where Pinkie Pie is," Rainbow Dash asked as she laid curled up in Applejack's legs atop a brand new pile of hay, "normally it doesn't take her this long to find me." "Ah ain't complainin'. Reckon whatever's keepin' her would give us enough time for round three," Applejack said with a smirk, admiring how fine her hat looks on cute little Rainbow Dash, "'sides, ain't nobody in Ponyville know 'bout Big Mac's backup barn." "Why does your brother have a backup barn hidden behind the farm, anyway?" "You don't wanna know," Applejack suddenly got all serious-like, "and you ain't gonna." "Oookay, whatever you say Appletart." "Eh, Rainbow, can you stop calling me by mah aunt's name?" "I swear it's impossible to find pet names for you." "Sorry Rainbow, it's just a little freaky when ya'll scream my great grandma's name s'all." "I bet she was hot." "Rainbow---" Applejack was about to give Rainbow a good spank in the flank when the backup barn doors (that's the doors to the backup barn, not the backup to the doors to the backup barn or any other barn) flew open and a pink blur appeared before them. "SURPRISE!!!!!" "AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Rainbow and Applejack instinctively huddled together. "Oops, forgot my oboe," Pinkie reached into her saddle bag for the long, oddly shaped instrument. "AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Rainbow and Applejack instinctively snapped their hind legs shut. "Pinkie Pie I told you to get rid of that flute!" Rarity slowly trotted into the barn, taking care to avoid any potential mud-related puddles. "Fine." Pinkie put the oboe back and as the oboe entered the bag air entered into the huddled lovers' lungs again. "Terribly sorry she scared you like that," Rarity trotted towards the now more relaxed ponies, "I told her that the oboe was, frankly, a stupid idea." "Ah'm thankful and all that, Rarity, but what the hay are you doing here?" "Well," Rarity started opening her saddle bags with her unicorn magic, "Pinkie Pie told me about her plan for a threesome involving an oboe, and I thought, that just won't do! I couldn't let you suffer like that. After all, we are BFFs, right?" "Right," Rainbow Dash said hopefully, "that was a horrible idea and I for one am glad you stopped it from happening. Now would you mind leaving us alone?" Rarity didn't seem to hear the last part of Rainbow's speech balloon. "I'm glad you agree, Rainbow Dash. So, I made you loveponies these!" In a brilliant and unnecessary flash, Rarity revealed her latest creations: two elegantly crafted, um, saddles? "What the hay are those?!" "Oh, Applejack, I'm not surprised that you don't know what these are," Rarity chuckle as she started demonstrating how it was used, "they are the latest craze in the, shall we say, darker fashion markers of Canterlot. You see, you unhook these here, and there, and you place it around your flank and do this and this and that and---it's probably going to be hard without unicorn magic but I'm sure Rainbow can help you---now you finally put this here and, voila! I'm just like a stallion!" "Ooo! Pretty!" Pinkie Pie somehow has gotten under Rarity and admired her latest creation. Applejack, in the meantime, was staring blankly at Rarity with her jaws open. "Now, Pinkie Pie, I've made one for everypony. Here's yours. Give it a lick, will you?" "It tastes like frosting!" "Yes it does! Isn't it wonderful!" "Mmfmfmmf!" "Oh Pinkie Pie, it is very unladylike to talk with your mouth full." "Look, Applejack, I'm a unicorn! Applejack? Hello? Are you there?" "Rainbow! You're not supposed to wear it on your head!" "Well I bet it's going to make my headbutts 20% stronger!" Rainbow started waving her new horn in Applejack's face. "Let's see if I can use my new unicorn magic to slap some sense into her." "Applejack, darling? Are you all right?" "Um, ah, yes. Rainbow Dash! Cut that out! Sorry, ah was, um, confused. Ain't seen nothin' like this before. No ma'am. Not sure how to handle it." "Well, Applejack, you're sure to love yours. I've made it extra special just for you." "Um, 'kay. Thanks? So is it apple scented or somethin'?" Applejack was getting slightly more comfortable with this at this point, but she was still slowly shifting and chewing nervously on a piece of straw. "Oh, how pedestrian! Of course not! The most hardworking pony of Ponyville deserves something extra special! Here," Rarity leaned in closer---and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie did the same as they knew that when Rarity promoted something to hush-hush status it must be special---and giggled and whispered, "I modeled it after Big Macintosh." All at the same time, Pinkie Pie gave a *GASP* louder than the one from the first episode, Applejack froze solid and fell over sideways, and Rainbow Dash's had a little sonic rainboom in her hindquarters.
Episode 3: How Many Barns Does Ponyville Have?!"A threesome? What's that?" Apple Bloom asked quizzically while sipping on a bottle of apple juice during the Cutie Mark Crusaders Weekly Cutie Mark Obtainment Planning Session. "I don't know, Apple Bloom. Big sis Rarity wouldn't tell me. She said it wasn't a proper thing for little fillies to know." "That means," Scootaloo butted in---physically, even, but with her head and not her flank, "that it's got to do with cutie marks! And if Rarity won't tell us about it I bet Rainbow Dash will!" "Is that your solution to every problem?" Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes at Scootaloo. "Yes," Scootaloo said with a grin, "now come on, get in the wagon!" And the little fillies put on their helmets and scooted off to find Rainbow Dash. "No, my little ponies, I haven't seen Rainbow Dash all day," Twilight said gently as she opened her door and found the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Twilight, I haven't even asked you my question yet," Scootaloo countered, "oh my goodness do you have magical psychic powers?" "No," Twilight said with a small frown, "but when have you ever come to the library looking for anything besides Rainbow Dash?" "Well, books are kind of lame." Scootaloo stuck her tongue out as if she was trying to throw up. "Books aren't lame," Twilight was trying to keep her composure in front of all these little ponies, "they contain the magic of knowledge!" And with that, Twilight took a small step to her right and revealed a glowing collection of books just behind the door. She made sure that they were extra sparkly using her unicorn magic. "Hey," Sweetie Belle suddenly had a smart idea, "Twilight! Maybe you can tell us what we want to know?" "Oh?" Twilight said with a smug look. "This little filly here comes seeking knowledge. Of course I can tell you what you need to know." "What's a threesome?" Apple Bloom blurted out. "A what the what now?" "A threesome, Twilight. Pinkie Pie said that she was going to have one with Applejack and Rainbow Dash and it was even better than a party and when I asked her what it was she said that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and I could do it too but she didn't tell me what it was and Rarity said that I was too young to know which means this has to do with cutie marks and so we need to know what a threesome is so we can do it with each other---" Twilight Sparkle couldn't believe what Sweetie Belle was saying. Even though it's been over a year since she moved to Ponyville and had friends and knew how to deal with social situations this has completely taken her by surprise. Her mouth hung open and a large drip of cold sweat formed on her head. "Twilight? You okay?" Apple Bloom asked with genuine concern. "Eh, ahehe, yes! Yes! I'm okay! Soooo... I don't think I can help you. But I can give you some books! You can read them! Yes! Books! I love books! You know me: Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn who really likes to study! Hehe. Okay. Baaaaai!" And Twilight shut the door as tightly as she could. "But what about our books---" Before Sweetie Belle could finish her sentence a dozen books flew out of the library's second floor windows onto the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They then heard all the windows of the library slam shut and the door double bolted from within all at the same time. "Well," Sweetie Belle said as she emerged from a pile of books, "at least we wore helmets." "I still think we need to go find Rainbow Dash right now." "Come up, Scootaloo, let's just get to our clubhouse and read these books," Apple Bloom said, "you know we ain't never going to find Rainbow Dash." "That's true. All the ponies in Ponyville said that they haven't seen Rainbow in days," Sweetie Belle chimed in. "What about Pinkie Pie and Rarity? You said they saw Rainbow." "If my big sister was going to help us we wouldn't even be doing this," Sweetie Belle pursed her lips, "and the Cakes told me that Pinkie Pie's locked herself in the basement of Sugarcube Corner for the last few days." "What about my big sister," said Apple Bloom, "I heard Granny Smith sayin' that Rainbow's been in the barn quite a bit recently. We can stop by on the way to the clubhouse." "Fine," Scootaloo frowned as she changed her heading, "at least it's not reading." Big Macintosh stood proudly in the orchard, surveying the majestic apple trees of the Apple family. Straw in his mouth, the red colt was thinking ahead to applebucking season and trying to figure out the best way to deal with the harvest. That is, until he was interrupted by his adorable little sister. "Hey Big Macintosh what's a threesome?" Big Mac, for the second time in this year, dropped his straw with widen eyes as an unconquerable horde charged at him. This time, though, he wished it was parasprites. "Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and I wanted to know what it is so we can have one Pinkie Pie said it's something really good friends do but we have no idea how to do it can you tell us maybe once we're done you and Applejack and me can have one too since we're good friends and---" Before Apple Bloom could finish her sentence, Big Macintosh grew an impossible shade of red, steam came out of his ears and he fell over to the side. Scootaloo gave him a poke---stiff as a corpse. "Was that supposed to happen?" Sweetie Belle asked her stunned friend. "I ain't never seen that before." "Well, he's alive. Let's go find Rainbow Dash." "I don't know, Scootaloo," Sweetie Belle frowned, "maybe that word, it's some kind of curse." "Then how come Twilight didn't fall over?" "She's magical, duh!" Apple Bloom has now completely forgotten her brother. "And if we aren't careful we may curse Rainbow Dash too!" Scootaloo finally realized the weight of the situation. "We need to read these books, Crusaders," Sweetie Belle said with a righteous look on her face, "it may be the only hope for saving Big Macintosh!" The fillies looked at each other with a renewed sense of purpose. This wasn't just about the three of them having a threesome now. This is now bigger. It may involve all of Ponyville. In fact, this forbidden knowledge may even involve all of Equestria. "Cutie Mark Crusader: Ancient Curse Breakers, go!" "Let me do the talking," Apple Bloom whispered as the Crusaders walked into Cherilee's office, "she likes me better since I actually go to school." "Hey," Scootaloo said, "I'd go more often if this stupid Earth Pony school had flight lessons." "Why hello, my little ponies," Cheerilee said cheerfully, "I never expected you to show up on a day when we don't have school." "Well, Ms. Cheerilee," Apple Bloom said, "we were readin' a book Twilight lent us and we couldn't understand some of the words so---" "You're reading ahead! I am so proud of you! Now, Apple Bloom, can you hand me the book and show me which part you had trouble with?" Apple Bloom pulled a book out of her saddle bag and meekly handed it over to Cheerilee. "The title, Ms. Cheerilee. And everything else I guess..." "Yeah, I'm not sure why a government of circus performers has anything to do with a magical curs---" Scootaloo stopped as Sweetie Belle shoved a hoof in her mouth and smiled at Cheerilee. "She can't know," whispered the white unicorn, "we're operating in low profile." "Oh fillies and your games," Cheerilee smiled as she remembered her youth fondly, "now let's see what you have here... 'Carnal Congress for Curious Colts and...'" As Cheerilee trailed off, Apple Bloom was amazed. Even her teacher had trouble reading the title. This must be some kind of mystical spellbook! "Um, Apple Bloom," Cheerilee's smile started to waver as she said nervously, "this is a really hard---I mean---difficult, book. Are you sure you really---" "Yes," the Cutie Mark Crusaders replied simultaneously. "Well, fillies," Cheerilee said as she started shoving the Crusaders out the front door, "I can't tell you anything about this book without getting fired. So, sorry. Maybe you want to go do more things to earn your cutie marks first? Have you tried ziplining? I heard it's fun! Oh look at the time I have to run. Don't do drugs! Stay in school!" And with that, Cheerilee slammed the door on the Crusaders who flew a few feet into the air and landed in variously positions, with the book landing square on Scootaloo's head. "This has to be a conspiracy," Scootaloo declared, "everypony knows about what a threesome is but every time we try to find out they either go crazy and make us leave or get turned into stone!" "How horrible," said a yellow pegasus walking by with a few birds flying behind her, "is there another cockatrice on the loose? "Fluttershy! Of course!" Sweetie Belle screamed a little too loudly. "If anypony can help it must be Fluttershy!" "Help with what, Sweetie Belle?" "Oh please, Fluttershy," Apple Bloom started pleading, "we accidentally turned Big Macintosh into stone with an magical curse and the only way to save him is to learn about carnal congress from this book that Twilight gave us and---" "Hush---not another word," Fluttershy said with a smile and a slight blush, "of course I can help, but you know it's much better to learn about these things with a walk through the woods than from a book, right?" "You mean, like a quest," Scootaloo's eyes lit up. "Not exa---" "Cutie Mark Crusaders Forest Quest YAY!" By the time the four ponies emerged from the edge of the forest the stars had come out. Fluttershy led the herd, humming the song she sang to the fillies just earlier to herself and smiling. "The birds and the bees and eggs and honey..." The Cutie Mark Crusaders tagged behind, staggering a little and were in a little worse shape. "I ain't never seein' bunnies the same way again," Apple Bloom said with eyes wide open. "Now I understand why some ponies ask Rarity to put in special holes in their dresses," Sweetie Belle said, "but we still haven't figured out what a threesome is." "You know, Sweetie, I ain't itchin' to find out." "Me neither." Scootaloo, though, was in the worst shape of them all. Her head hung low and she wasn't even sad about now having found Rainbow Dash anymore. After all, now she knows that she'll never be able to be Rainbow Dash's girlfriend because you need a boy pony and a girl pony to do things that boyfriends and girlfriends do and, well, she ain't no boy pony and neither was Dash. "Um, excuse me, fillies, do you mind?" Fluttershy stopped and turned around as they reached Sweet Apple Acres. "I'm shy." The fillies looked at her blushing face, and then at Big Macintosh lying on the ground. "But Fluttershy I don't think there's any magi---" Sweetie Belle shoved her hoof into Apple Bloom's mouth as she smiled at Fluttershy and backed away. "What she meant was, thanks Fluttershy! We're going to go away now. Really, really far away." And with that, the Crusaders slowly trotted backwards until they went into a full gallop away from Sweet Apple Acres. Fluttershy, after seeing the fillies disappear on the horizon, slowly trotted up to the fallen colt and nervously nuzzled him on his bright, red face. "Excuse me, um, Mr. Macintosh. Or is it Mr. Apple? Oh my goodness, I'm rambling. Um. Anyway, your sister told me that they turned you into stone and this was the only way to save you. So, um, I hope you don't mind." Big Macintosh's brain and body have been functional for a few hours now---he was just lying there because it was actually rather comfortable. He certainly didn't mind that a beautiful pegusus seems to think that he needs her help. Before he could finish his thoughts, though, Fluttershy snuggled up next to him. "Um, Mr. Macintosh, is this helping?" "Eee...yup." Relieved, Fluttershy gave a little "yay" before she stopped being shy and started fluttering under the stars.
Epilogue: The Final Barn"Rainbow Dash, this was the best idea you ever had. We ain't been interrupted for a whole week!" "What'd I tell you, huh? There's no way Pinkie Pie can find us in the skies." "Reckon you're right. But, Dash, did you really have to make the cloud house shaped like a barn?" "Hey, I thought it'd make it feel like home for you." "It'd be just a mite better if you got some magic from Twilight so I could walk on them clouds." "I prefer the 'if you stop holding on to me you'll fall to your death' system we got here, if you don't mind me saying so." "Well, pardner, I guess I just have to keep holdin' on mighty tight now. So, ready for round 73?" "Always. And this time, I'm going to make you lose your hat." "Ain't worked the last 72 times." "You are on, pardner." Outside the cloud barn in the sky, Pinkie Pie was sitting in her latest invention with Scootaloo, sharing a giant tub of popcorn. "So, Pinkie Pie," Scootaloo said as round 73 was over and Rainbow Dash fell asleep. "Yes?" "Thanks for bringing me up here." "No problem! Now you see there's always more to learn? It's not always about boy ponies and girl ponies. You can do whatever you want as long as you have fun and protection," Pinkie Pie knocked on her and Scootaloo's helmets much to Scootaloo's dismay, "sometimes you can have two boy ponies or two girl ponies or even ten boy ponies and one girl pony and---" "Hey, Pinkie Pie, I have a question." "Yes, Scootaloo? Is it about the amazing lollipop stabilizers on my stealth candyclopter or the---" "No! No! It's about, you know, them," Scootaloo nudged her head towards the open barn window. "What about the loveponies? You want more popcorn?" "No! Yes! Well," Scootaloo blushed a little, "does it count as having a threesome with Rainbow Dash and Applejack if I'm watching?"
