I never wanted to be a king.

And that's the simple truth of it, really. I never wanted to come here, never wanted to inherit an entire race of skeletons, never wanted anything like this to happen to me. But, it happened, and now I have to deal with it. Still, couldn't fate have waited until I was older to bring me here? Seriously, you could have waited a few years before you threw me headlong into a nonstop adventure. You could have at least given me some warning!! Is five minutes too much to ask? But, what's done is done. You came here to hear a story, and so a story you will hear.

My name is Lord Iron Skull.

Others have called me by other names, such as The Lord of the Night, Master of the Undead, the Arcane King, but I always preferred Lord Iron Skull. Radiates power, sounds cooler, is more awesome, right? Besides, it's the first name I ever got here, and I think of it as my true name. Anyways, I got around a lot before I decided to regale you with grandiose tales of my adventures. Well, enough about me. You'll find out more later. Let's begin, shall we?

I guess it all started when I got hit by a car.

Yes, you read that right. My path to becoming Lord Iron Skull started when I was hit by a car. I don't want to go into detail on what happened in the car crash, partly because I don't actually remember what happened. All I know is I'm walking home from school and a car comes hurtling from nowhere towards me, and I got hit by the stupid thing. Then, I'm waking up in the middle of some forest.

I wake up in the middle of some forest. I look around, confused. "Where am I?" I wonder. Looking around, I realise I am a long way from home. I don't recognise the forest at all. It appears to be a stereotypical "Evil" forest. There are cobwebs hanging around, spiders in the trees, probably dessicated corpses wandering around looking for something to eat. And there's the skeleton lying under the tree in the middle of a otherwise clear clearing. Wait, WHAT?!? I scramble away from the bony pile but it follows me. Then a horrible realization comes to me: I am the skeleton. I don't even scream in horror like any rational soul would do. Instead I look, fascinated, at the undead terror I have become.

I have square bones, like skeletons from Minecraft. I am encased in armour, made of iron, judging from its look. I have boots, greaves, and a chestplate, but no helmet. That worries me a little bit. I have, weaponswise, a bow and plenty of arrows, a diamond sword, and a diamond dagger as well. I spot something odd out of the corner of my eye as I study myself. It looks like a crown, forged of iron, the same as all my armour. I walk over to it. Thankfully, I have no trouble walking or moving, despite my sudden lack of muscles. I pick up the crown, turning it around in my hands.

It looks amazing, a true work of art. It is decorated with long, blunt spines arranged at regular intervals around the rim. There are four long spines placed at the exact middle of the four sides. There are also long spines at each of the four corners of the crown. But the centerpiece of the crown is the gem in the middle spine. The spine that it is mounted on is the tallest, indicating that it is intended to face forward and shine the magnificence of the jewel in front of me. The gem itself is magnificent. It is purple and cut like a diamond or a kite (whichever you prefer). I see a name engraved on the crown.

"Lord Iron Skull." I say out loud.

First I'm surprised I can speak, despite my sudden lack of vocal cords, then I'm surprised that I recognize that name. It triggers a memory. I remember a sword, and a bow and... and a crown. I don't know why, but the crown is mine. It has to be mine. I put the crown on, confident that I'll be fine. I feel power wash over me, and I black out.

When I wake up, I am in a cave. It's dark, so I make a light. A bright light shines from my crown. I look in surprise at my head. Or at least, I try to. Have you ever tried to look at your forehead? It always results in you falling over. One of my hands touches something wet. I spin around after getting up. I see a massive puddle. Or at least, that's what my hyperactive mind tells me. I reason that it has to be a pool. An underground reservoir of some kind. I touch the surface of the water, and something grabs my hand. I pull away, but the thing gets pulled out instead of dislodged. When the thing is in the light, I look in surprise at it.

It looks like me. Hold on, let me rephrase that. It looks a lot like me. It's a skeleton as well, with a bow slung over its back, a sword sheathed at its side, and it has a dagger as well. The only major difference is that it's wearing a helmet, while I'm wearing a crown on my head. The copy of me looks at me in what I presume is a copy of my own expression. That is, one of surprise.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"Who... are... you?" My copy slowly parrots.

"I know who I am!' I exclaim. "What I'm asking is who you are!"

Admit it, you would have said the same thing.

My copy looks confused. He, or at least I think he's a he, opens and closes his mouth a few times. "Who... am...I?"

"Finally! Something different." I say.

"Different?" He asks.

I point at him. "Don't you start now!"

"His name is Crossbones." A voice whispers in my head. Not considering the implications, I point at the skeleton in front of me.

"Your name is Crossbones!" I declare. I can practically hear the madness in my head facepalm.

"Moron." The voice says.

"Hey!" I snap. "You have a better thing to say?"

That appears to get the voice in my head to shut up. I look accusingly at the skeleton, apperently now named Crossbones. He looks at me, the picture of innocence. Unfortunately, that doesn't work on me. First, I don't have a heart anymore, second, I was never really susceptible to that kind of stuff in life. "Alright, you, um... Crossbones, whatever your name is." I say.

Crossbones looks at me attentively. "Yes?" He asks.

I start in surprise. He sounds exactly the same as me now, Canadian accent and all. He also said a word that he hadn't heard before. That's what I call progress.

"We need to get out of here." I say. "And you're going to help me."

"Okay." Crossbones says.

"Wait, it was that easy?" I think. "All I had to do was tell him what to do? Why didn't I think of this before?"

"Because you're a idiot." The voice in my head says.

"Don't you start now..." I warn. The voice falls silent once again. Satisfied that my madness is under control once again, I turn back to the skeleton. He's patiently waiting for me.

"Alright," I say, rubbing my hands together eagerly. "First, we need to look for an exit. No sense in blowing the ceiling to kingdom come if there's a ready made way out already here."

"And how exactly are you planning to do that?" My insanity asks.

Ignoring it, for approximately the next thirty seconds we look for a way out. Me and Crossbones find it right away.

"See? I said that there would be a way out, and we found it." I proudly proclaim.

We head up the long tube-like passage, only to find a huge boulder in the way. "Who put this here?" I demand. Unfortunately, the universe doesn't seem to answer. I angrily kick the rock. I kick it several times, then kick it once more for good measure.

"Stupid rock!!" I yell. "Why did you have to be here? Go away!"

This time, the universe heeds my call.

The stupid rock is surrounded by a dark purple glow. I back away in surprise. The rock starts to rise into the air. That, understandably, surprises me the most of all. The rock continues to defy gravity, rising up farther and farther. I cautiously walk forward, underneath the rock. It's still surrounded in that dark purple aura. The aura is the same colour that the light I made was, I realize. I know I'm a little late to realize that, but my mental process isn't the most efficient in the world. "Am... I doing that?" I wonder.

"Finally. I was wondering when you'd figure it out."

"Hey, why do you know? And why are you in my head?" I ask.

"I've been in your head since you put that crown on." The voice says. "I am the crown."

"Of course. My madness began when I put you on. Will it stop when I take you off?"

Crossbones looks at me quizzically. Seeing his look, I explain. "Talking to the voice in my head."

He nods, as if that made any sense. Returning to my head, I question the crown further. "How am I using magic? I thought that magic was impossible?"

"Only if you believe it is."

"That's helpful." I retort.

"Why thank you." The annoying crown says.

"Do you understand sarcasm? Because that was sarcasm."

"Oh."

"Moron." The crown begins to retort but is interrupted by Crossbones.

"Sir, we'd better go. It's getting dark."

"Ok." Me and Crossbones climb up the now empty hole. "What's with the 'Sir' business?"

"You're my leader, sir. You're Lord Iron Skull, the king of all skeletons."

I pause for a minute to comprehend this. "Well, that's an improvement. Let's be off!" I yell, filled with bravery.

As I set off on my new life, my first subject at my side, I briefly reflect on my past life. "My friends, my family, they'll all be mourning me." I think.

"That's good. Remember the past, but don't dwell on it."

"You should start an advice column. You'd be really good at it."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yep."

We wander into the forest, oblivious to the three curious pairs of eyes watching us from a nearby bush. They whisper quietly amongst themselves, and disappear into a nearby tree, where they continue watching us through a window.

Author's Note

Sorry about having to repost this. I had to make some major modifications. I hope you like this as much as I do. Enjoy!