Two weeks after my arrival...

Running a kingdom is a lot of work. Even if all your subjects are completely under your control. It's still a lot of work. Thankfully, I had the help of several talented, as well as sentient, lieutenants. Crossbones was, of course, my first. He aided me in basically everything. My warriors all began as mindless, well, drones. But as I slowly created more troops, some of my skeletons gained sentience. The second was Tang. He began as a soldier, but after fending off a Manticore by himself, he became self-aware. I assigned him command over my standard troops. You know, my swordsmen. Third is Broadhead. He also started as a soldier and gained sentience in the same way as Tang, but his specialty is the bow, not the sword. After that, I begin experimentally assigning my extra soldiers to tasks that require more intelligence than what they currently exhibit. The fourth to gain free will was Darksteel. He and the fifth, Vorpal, gained their place as blacksmiths. They got their position as lieutenants by figuring out how to efficiently forge and refine the metals that they were named after. The most recent one is Red Cross. As you might guess, he's a medic.

But enough about my trusted lieutenants. You want to hear a story, and a story I will tell. This chapter is about how I first met ponykind. It was... Rather explosive.

I sigh. I haven't been having a very good week. Have you ever tried to build up a city-state from scratch? It isn't fun. It takes a ridiculous amount of time and effort, and remember that I can summon more minions whenever I want. You know the phrase "Many hands make light work."? Well, I'd like to expand on that. "Many hands are absurdly difficult to control." Seriously. Without my six second in commands, I would have gone crazy and then broken down under the workload. And my resident critic doesn't help either. The crown may sometimes have good advice, but it's also very annoying. I've found that it's either helpful or annoying. One or the other, never anything else. I think that if I continue for another week without any change to my chaotic and yet simultaneously boring life, I'll suffer a complete meltdown.

"Sir?"

I am roused from my musings by Crossbones. He's standing with today's stack of field reports from the scouts. I sigh again.

"Anything important?" I tiredly ask.

"Actually, yes. One of our parties found the edge of the forest."

I look up, suddenly awake. I'd been waiting to hear that for a long time. "And?"

"Apparently, the forest ends only a couple of miles to the south of the Empire. In every other direction, it continues on for quite a long way."

"Any sign of other civilization?"

"No, not yet. Sir, why are you so certain that whatever race built this castle is still around? It's clearly been abandoned for a long time. Maybe they all died when this place was abandoned."

"I just... need something to hope for. Maybe if there's something else here I'll actually have a reason to do all this. Aside from building a place for us to live."

"I see. You want to protect a race, right?"

Have I ever mentioned that Crossbones is really smart?

"Exactly." I smile. Crossbones always knows how to cheer me up.

I stand up. "Well, let's get on with our day, shall we?"

"Indeed, sir."

For the next three or so hours, life continues as normally as you can get when you're me. I check up on the various projects that I have going, especially the mines, and then I do some combat training. The crown may have taught me to fight amazingly well, with sword and magic, but I still need to hone those skills. That, however, only kills an hour. After combat training, I wander my empire. It's gone a long way in two weeks. At first the castle where I decided to make my home was ruined, seemingly beyond repair. But a hundred skeleton warriors really makes a difference. It's now well fortified, been repaired, and upgraded as well. Inside, I discovered a ton of traps, which I deactivated, that inspired me to build a bunch outside. Now I've made a training area filled with some of the most ingenious traps ever made, as well as some of the most dumb. A pit filled with maple syrup counts as a trap, right? Speaking of maple syrup, I found a spell to synthesize any kind of food you want, so long as you've tasted it before. Cool, right? Anyways, I wander around for a while. Nothing really catches my eye, so I return to the throne room.

The throne room is really the only part of the castle that's finished. It is large and airy, with a feeling of quiet power to it. It's moderately decorated, with otherwise practical features like my throne being ornate and stylish. My throne is set against the far wall, with nothing behind it but stone. I had to remove the two thrones that were already there to make room for mine, but I made sure to put them somewhere safe. The tapestries look nice, so I kept them here. My throne is a work of art, radiating power and authority. I made it out of swords.

Yes, you heard that right.

Ok, it's not made out of swords. I lied a little bit there. But it sure as hell looks like it. I had a bunch of sword hilts, blades and tips forged just for my throne and then combined to make a majestic chair. They were welded together by Darksteel and Vorpal and then iron was used to fill in the gaps. It was then padded to ensure that it's comfortable. It is very comfortable, in case you're wondering. I sit down and prepare to wait for something interesting to happen. Now, you remember that I said that my life would continue normally for three hours? Well, three hours had passed. Well, 2.75 hours. Same thing, right? Fifteen minutes later, I was seriously considering attempting to strangle a gargoyle, if only to relive my boredom for a while, when a guard runs in. I look up, surprised by the unscheduled entrance.

The soldier stands there for a second, trying to catch his breath. Yes, we need to breathe. Finally, he speaks. "Sir, we found something!!"

"Calm down, soldier. What did you find?" I ask.

"Another intelligent race, sir!!"

I can only look at the soldier in shock for a second. Another civilization? How? I'd been looking for two weeks and I'd just found the edge of the forest!

"Where?" I finally ask.

"Inside the forest. About a quarter of a mile from the Empire."

"Where exactly?" I ask. This stuff is important, you know!

"Nearby the Home." The soldier responds.

"Nearby the Home." I slowly parrot.

"Yes, sir. Nearby the Home."

The Home, by the way, is what I named the pool that I pulled Crossbones out of. I know, it isn't the most original of names, but it fits. It's considered a sacred place in the Skeleton Empire, which is what I decided to name my necropolis. Cool, right? Anyways, the Home is considered a very sacred place, and usually I don't allow other beings to go into the central chamber. Skeletons are allowed, but monsters aren't. I have a permanent guard there, and it's considered an honour to be assigned there. There are always five guards on duty, as well as a small outpost that houses reserves.

"Did they go inside?" I ask. It'll be an extremely bad thing if they did, because my soldiers don't like things going in. The last time it happened, the guards cut a Manticore to pieces for just falling in the chamber. I only heard about it when they brought me its severed tail and head. I chose to get rid of the head, but I thought the tail was cool. It's still hanging on the wall somewhere.

"No, they didn't. They remained out of sight while I was there. I came as soon as I can."

"How long ago was this?"

"Half an hour, sir."

"Half an hour... They could have left by now!"

"Well, go now!" My insanity says in my mind.

"Okay." I respond.

"Let's go." I say to my soldier. He nods and leaves the throne room. I begin to follow him, but the crown says something.

"Why don't you put your riding lessons to good use?"

I zoom through the forest at an incredible pace, so fast I feel like I'm flying. I look around myself, seeing the trees flash by at an alarming speed. Crossbones is right beside me, riding a monstrous spider.

Yes, you heard that right.

I am riding a giant spider, as are all of my guards. My mount is a magnificent beast, half spider and half scorpion, heavily mutated by magic, huge and well cared for. His legs end in giant spikes, which he digs into the ground to propel himself forward at remarkable speeds. The long dagger-like feet of his enable him to climb walls and trees with ease. They're also used as defensive weapons, believe me, you do not want to get kicked by a giant spider. It's very painful and, more often than not, will scatter your limb(s) all over the place. He also has a long tail and giant, lobsteresque claws. I decided to name him Spidnarak. Don't you dare laugh, if you do I'll introduce you to him.

While slathered in Barbecue sauce.

With the spiders, me and my entourage make it to the Home in under 15 minutes. When we arrive, I dismount almost immediately, and end up falling over and onto my head at the same time, somehow. Crossbones dismounts more smoothly and helps me up. Nodding to him, I approach the guards, who salute me.

"Where are they?" I ask.

"Over here, sir." A guard says, pointing to a patch of bushes that conspicuously rustles as he points. I slowly approach them, but pause.

"How do you know that there's a sentient being in here if you haven't seen them?" I ask.

The guards all look to a single soldier, who responds. "I heard talking coming from that bush."

"Okay." I say, immediately closing the remaining distance to the bush, which squeaks in panic as I approach.

"Don't hurt us!!" A feminine voice wails from the bush as I reach over it.

"And why on earth would I do that?" I ask the bush.

"Because you're a big, scary monster who eats fillies!" The bush cries in panic.

"But we're not scared of you, just moderately worried." A different voice chimes in from the bush.

"Wait, are there more than one... whatever you are inside that bush?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"Well, yeah. Of course there's more than one pony in this here bush. Duh." A third voice, with a distinctly southern accent, replies.

"How many... ponies are there inside there?" I ask.

"Three!" The first, panicking voice says.

"Will you please come out, so we can have a normal conversation?" I say, thoroughly exasperated by the... ponies inside the bush.

"All right, so long as you don't hurt us." The southern voice says.

"I won't, I promise." I reply.

Slowly, three figures detach themselves from the bush and walk in front of the aforementioned shrubbery. I study the ponies, hardly daring to believe my eyes. The first to emerge is a classic pony, if way smaller than the ponies I knew before coming here. She has a yellowish coat, a red mane and tail, amber eyes, and for some reason a bow in her mane. Second is a pegasus. She has an orange coat, a purple mane and tail, and light purple eyes. She radiates confidence and doesn't seem scared at all. Third to come out is a unicorn. She's definately the scared one. She is white, with a curly light purple and pink mane. I have no idea why they're scared, they are almost definitely weaponized cuteness. Although, I don't exactly look like the kind of creature to care about how cute they are, now that I think about it.

They look at me, not even daring to move lest they incur my wrath. I wonder if I can turn off the glowing eyes. That might help to keep them from freaking out over my terrifying appearance.

"Why on earth did you have to make me look so nightmarish?" I ask the crown. There's no response from the voice in my head, for once. Shrugging it off, I turn to look at the scared little fillies. They still haven't moved. I'd have thought that they would shift at least a little bit by now.

"So," I begin, startling the fillies by the sudden sound of my voice. "who exactly are you all? What do you call yourselves?"

The pegasus is the one to speak. "I'm Scootaloo, and this is Apple Bloom," She says, gesturing to the pony beside her. "and this is Sweetie Belle." She finishes, pointing to the unicorn.

The pony slowly waves. "Howdy." She says slowly, in the southern accent I heard earlier.

"Well, pleased to meet you all." I say.

"I think."

"Well said my fine sir." The crown finally pipes up.

"Shut up." I think.

"So, what are three ponies doing in the middle of a very dangerous forest? And how did you not get eaten by monsters?" I ask. Seriously, I find it dangerous in these woods sometimes. How on earth did three young ponies with no visible weapons or ways to protect themselves survive here?

"Well, we stayed hidden. And we never went out after dark, and that's when all the really mean monsters are out." The unicorn, Sweetie Belle, chirps.

I look at her for a moment. "That... actually makes sense." I finally say.

"And we were spying on you!" The pegasus, Scootaloo says. Instantly realizing her mistake, she stuffs her hoof in her mouth. The other two look in horror at first her, then me. It takes me several seconds for my train of thought to dock at the station. First I look at Scootaloo, then myself, then my soldiers, who are just looking at Scootaloo, who is currently trying to hide under a rock, then at the other two ponies.

I finally respond. "You have been doing what in this forest?" I calmly ask.

"Spying on you." Scootaloo whispers.

"Say that again, please." I ask.

"Spying on you."

"One more time."

"We've been spying on you!!" Sweetie Belle wails.

"Okay." I turn away.

"You... you ain't mad at us?" Apple Bloom asks.

"No, I'm not mad at you, and I'm not just plain mad either, so don't ask. I'm actually impressed with you three. Having the guts to spy on someone as terrifying as me, and to do it for two weeks without being caught, that's pretty impressive. But nothing is ever done for a reason, so why?"

"To get our spyin' cutie marks, of course!" Apple Bloom cheerfully exclaims.

"Your spying whats?" I ask, genuinely confused again.

"Cutie marks, of course!" Sweetie Belle happily explains. By now, I'm even more confused.

"What are cutie marks?" I ask.

"Really? They're only the most important things ever!" Scootaloo says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uh huh. What are they?" I ask, a little impatiently now.

"Well, a cutie mark is what determines a pony's destiny. Everypony has one! Exept we don't. That's why we're trying to get one. See?" Sweetie Belle answers. She shows me the side of her upper back leg. Confused, I instead look at her face.

"What exactly am I supposed to be looking at here?" I ask. Seriously, I don't know!

"Her cutie mark, or the lack of it rather."

"How exactly do you know that?" I ask my internal anti-concience.

"I've been here for a fair while longer than you have, I've seen a lot."

"Touche." Abandoning my doomed internal argument, I look at the three ponies again.

"So, what exactly is supposed to be there?" I ask.

"My cutie mark." Sweetie Belle mumbles.

"What does a cutie mark look like?" I ask, exasperated once more by the circular conversation I've been having with these three. I can't get anywhere!

"Well, a cutie mark is different depending on the pony's special talent, but it's always a mark on your flank." Scootaloo says.

"A symbol emblazoned on the side of your leg? How does that determine what your... special talent is?" I demand. "It doesn't make any sense!"

"It only appears when you discover what your super special talent is. When you figure it out, it appears there by magic."

"Okay, now I think I understand. It only appears when the thing that it represents comes into being, which is the knowledge of your special talent, but simultaneously, your talent is determined by the appearence of your cutie mark. Right?"

Now it's the ponies' turn to look confused. "What?" Sweetie Belle asks, looking at me blankly.

"Techno-magic mumbo-jumbo. Don't worry about it."

That seems to satisfy the fillies. However, my inner know-it-all is not satisfied so easily.

"You have no idea what you just said, don't you?"

"And what if I don't?" I snap. I have no patience when dealing with my personal voice-in-the-head.

Not waiting for a response, I address the fillies. "Now, it's pretty late out, so I think you'd better head home. Don't want to get caught out of bed at nightfall."

"Don't worry about our families." Sweetie Belle chirps. "We've got it all sorted out."

"Yeah, after we saw you weirdoes two weeks ago, we've been planning this for a while." Scootaloo chimes in.

"Planning what?" I'm not entirely sure if I want to know the answer.

"A stakeout!" The three say in unison.

"But that's kinda ruined now, so we'd better be headin' home now I guess." Apple Bloom sighs. The three fillies begin to walk along a barely noticeable path through the trees back to where they presumably live. I would have let them go, but Sweetie Belle looks back at me with the most pathetic expression on her face, it looks partially like a kicked puppy and partially like a stuffy I used to have back home, Snow. The overall combination is one that melts my non-existent heart.

"Wait!" I call. The three stop and look back at me.

"If you'd like, you can stay here for a little while." Even as I speak, the crown begins to yell at me. I ignore it for now. I have to talk to adorable fillies.

"You would?"

"Really?"

"For real?"

"Yep." I respond.

In the next second and a half, I am tackle-hugged by three surprisingly heavy fillies and have my ears bombarded by an endless salvo of "Thank you thank you thank you!!" with such ferocity that the Death Korps of Krieg themselves would be jealous. My soldiers are all looking very confused throughout the entire thing. Crossbones finally walks up and taps me on the shoulder.

"Sir, as you observed it's getting dark, we need to return to the castle soon or we might not make it back."

"You have a castle?!?" The three shout, jumping off me.

"Yes of course, he's Lord Iron Skull after all." Crossbones responds matter-of-factly.

"You're a lord?" Sweetie Belle asks, turning to look back at me.

"Yeah, why else would all these skeletons be calling me sir?" I respond.

"Cool!! Our new friend is a lord!!" Scootaloo cheers.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SKELETON OVERLORD FRIENDS YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They cheer loudly.

"Okay, why don't we save all that for tomorrow? It's getting really dark now, and we don't want to be eaten by anything, now then do we?" Crossbones says.

"Good idea. Let's all go to the castle and I'll give you a tour." I say.

"Sounds good." Scootaloo says, visibly trying to hold back a yawn.

My soldiers each gently take a filly with them, and we go back to the castle as fast as we can. Once there, I get some beds for them, and they go to sleep easily, although they don't want to. I walk through the castle, past the throne room, past the armoury, and finally into my private chambers. Once in the room, I close the door and take off my armour.

Under it is nothing but bones, the same sight I've been seeing for two weeks. Whenever I take off my iron shell, I see the same thing. Lots and lots of bones. It's the real reason I haven't been faring well here. It constantly reminds me of my lost former life. As I go to bed, I see the same mental image I've seen every night for two weeks. My family. Suddenly, it's replaced by a different one: three young fillies, happily smiling at me. As I prepare for my nightly training session with my hypothetical mentor, I fall asleep with a smile.

I wake up happier than I've been all week. I stretch and put on my armour. I'm ready for anything the day throws at me.

"It doesn't go on that way Scoots!" A voice interrupts my train of thought.

"Well how was I supposed to know that?"

"Maybe if you'd read the instructions?"

"Skeletons don't come with instructions!"

I sprint out of my room and down the stairs. It's going to be a long few days.

Author's Note

Okay, I lied. The explosions are next chapter. Still, that means more chapters for you to read! I dearly hope I can update this soon. Thanks for waiting everypony!