If I have learned anything from my unnatural years, it’s this: only a fool
wishes for permanent youth.
I know how it feels to live forever. I know how it feels to just keep going and going without a sign of aging while those around you slip quietly to death’s call.
I cherish life just as much as anyone, as it is a beautiful, beautiful thing and should be respected. Simply, you can have too of a good thing. Like dessert, for example. It tastes wonderful at first, melting in your mouth with ease. However, after a short while, it starts to get a little too sweet. You start to feel sick, and the more you force down, the more queasy you feel. Finally, you have to give up and push your plate away.
Believe me, I know.
It’s glorious to live. But to keep living is nothing less than a curse. It’s like waking up fresh with the sun, excitedly anticipating the new day. You make the most of every hour, finding something good in every minute.
But as the sun completes its journey across the sky, you tire and look forward to the moonrise and all it brings: peace, calm, and rest.
But it never comes.
The nostalgia for my fillyhood is strong, but the memory fleeting. I do remember being a bubbly filly who worked to make everyone feel welcome. Celestia said that was a good feature for a princess to possess. Looking back, that was the only time I felt normal, like I truly belonged. Ignorance is bliss, someone once said. They weren’t lying. But we all have to grow up sometime. I was drug from my perfect little world when I noticed that my closest friends were aging much faster than myself. I couldn’t understand it. I may be royalty, I thought, but what makes me so different that I didn’t grow right? My first conclusion was I must be, in some way, sick. I locked myself up; I would not burden my friends with the same illness that I must be carrying. After three days of solitude, Tia… explained my “sickness”. We were immortal. We wouldn’t die naturally. She told me to make the most of my time with my companions, for I would outlive them. I refused to believe I would have to go on without them. We would grow up together, live together, and die together. It was a fact.
They were gone before I earned my cutie mark.
Now, I don’t remember their faces, but I do remember the pain I felt, the hard lessons I learned. Celestia, for a time, was the only pony I ever spoke to. I was not ready to have my heart broken again. While I became shamefully anti-social, Celestia seemed to take it all in stride, silently letting go of those she held dear. I envied her, hurting deeply, yet not showing her pain to anyone but her diary. I know, I read it.
I couldn’t control it like she could.
A century went by in a heartbeat, and I had grown, but I didn’t feel any older. I was barely larger than most foals a hundred years my junior, and acted no different. Through the years, Celestia was able to coax me out of hiding for more than just royal duties. We understood each other better than anyone else could. After all, none of them were goddess’.
********************
“Tiaaaa!” I whined. “Let me see!”
“It’s very delicate. You must be careful, Lulu, or you’ll hurt it. Will you be gentle?”
I nodded eagerly. When was I ever rough? Well, I suppose there might have been I few instances when I was less than careful, but not when it came to a living creature. Celestia smiled softly and used her magic to lift a bright yellow butterfly off a blue daisy. The poor insect froze in fear as she levitated it slowly through the air.
She placed the butterfly right on my muzzle and halted her spell. I stared cross-eyed at the colorful animal, trying to focus. It stared right back at me. I giggled as it gently tickled me with its small feet. My bottom eyelid twitched. “Ahh…ahh...” Oh, no! I couldn’t sneeze. Sneezing might hurt it. I bit my lip, trying to fight back. The butterfly tickled me again as it explored my face. “Ahh…ahhh…” Chomping down on my lip, I risked looking back up at Tia. She seemed oblivious to my crisis and was smiling lovingly at me. How could she smile at a time like this? A butterfly was at stake!
I tried my hardest, but the sneeze eventually won my internal battle. “ACHOO!”
The butterfly flew off my nose, and I looked in horror, expecting it to be without a wing. However, it landed right back where it was, wings fully intact. I sighed in relief.
Celestia laughed softly. “Butterflies are quite tickly, aren’t they?”
**********************
My filly years were the best of my life. Even though Tia and I had an entire Kingdom to look after, we always found time for each other. I don’t know how we managed.
I remember the night Tia asked me to help her with the moon, something she had done on her own for longer than I could remember. I had always been told that a long time ago, before I was born, a draconquus took away the sun and moon’s ability to move. The unicorns worked hard to invent a spell they hoped would restore their power. Unfortunately, not even the strongest magic can change the will of a celestial body against its wishes. Apparently, the clever draconquus had, instead of cursing them with paralysis, convinced them that moving was simply the wrong thing to do.
And the idiotic lights believed it.
However, after much discussion, my dear father instilled the fact, that if we moved them, instead of moving themselves, they wouldn’t be doing anything wrong. The stubborn celestial bodies thought it over, and agreed. The spell was simplified enough so it only moved each either up or down once. That truce lasts to this day.
“Lulu?” Celestia poked her face in my doorway. “Would you like to help me with something?”
I eyed her from my bed. “What sort of thing?”
She spoke rushed, as if expecting me to decline.
“It’s time for the moonrise, I-I think your magic is strong enough now. I’ll be right there if you need me, of course. But please, give it a try. I think you’ll enjoy it, as you don’t have your cutie mark yet and mine is a sun, maybe-”
“Tia.”
I stared at her evenly. Could I really be ready for something that important? I found the moon absolutely fascinating, but I certainly did not want to mess up and risk harming the heavenly body. Tia told me the moon was calm and gentle and cared deeply for others. It had, in fact, persuaded the sun to agree to our father’s deal as it cared for the life of the ponies below. I had always admired and respected it ,always felt some sort of connection to the silvery orb. Maybe, just this once, I would try it.
My first time raising the moon was obviously a success. My cutie mark tells history. Tia was right by my side the whole time, gently instucting me through the spell. I remember my excitement when I first saw the silver hue peeking above the horizon. And as it rode through the sky, my soul rose with it, dancing with the stars. My whole body tingled. I had never felt so… alive.
This is what I would live for.
It was just so beautiful. I, with some work, changed my resting schedule so I became like the bats and owls. Celestia would often stay up with me as long as she could, praising me for the beauty I gave the darken sky that she never could.
After all, a goddess of the sun could never hope to rule over the moon as well.
