The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Berry Punch, Lyra, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, Adventure
Length: 174706

Colgate has a little problem. That problem would be Berry's fetid breath. But as with all things, there is but one cure: An ever so very serious tromp about the jolly land of Equestria.

Simply put, Berry has bad breath. She's been known to go no less then one whole life-time without brushing or even flossing. The closest she ever comes is the occasional bottle of mouthwash she chugs (it's close enough when the party's run dry ... right?). However, deep, deep, deep down inside, past the Great Bay of Sherry, beyond the Bourbon Sound, and under the Gulf of Gin, lies a burning regret for this shameful act. After all, who drinks mouthwash? Oh, wait, the regret is for not brushing, ever. Simple mistake. Be that as it may, there is only one power in all of the universe that withstand breath so foul; that can cleanse evil so powerful.

And it's going to take a very long trip to get to it.

Rated Teen for use of Alcohol.

Published 2014-11-12 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-16 19:51:57 UTC

Chapter One, Part Three

Part Three

Berry covered her mouth. She hadn't meant to make such a noise. Nor had she meant to be so loud. Nor had she meant to blast poor Colgate into her wall with the force of her voice. Nevertheless, there was now yet another pony shaped imprint on her wall (this was not the first time poor Colgate had been blown into one of the walls of her house, nor, sadly, would it be the last). After taking a moment to collect herself, and appraise the situation, she made her way over to her poor pal. She was stuck in there something fierce. On top of that, she could see her eyes were full of spirals. It was clear the blow knocked her senseless. Letting out a sigh, she made her way over to her gardening closet. Opening it, she began to dig through her tools. Rake? No. Hoe? No. Spade? Almost, but no. Pitchfork? No, that was saved for angry mob Mondays. Ah, here it was, her Pony Prying Pole.

Making her way back to the wall, she inserted it between the wall and Colgate. She gave it a push. Nothing. Grunting, she gave it another push to try and pry her out. Still nothing. It was clear more drastic measures would be needed. Pausing to think, she came up with a brilliant idea. Making her way into her backroom, where her workshop was, she made her way over to where she stored the specialty orders. Digging through the various bottles, she found the perfect one. Granted, it wasn't usually her style to drink the stuff she made for customers, but drastic times call for drastic measures. This particular bottle was one she had made for Applejack's little sister, when she got old enough. To make sure that the day would be memorable, AJ had asked if she would add a couple of extra ingredients. Berry thought she was crazy, but did as she asked; even if she thought the idea of mixing in small amounts of both Poison Joke and Heart's Desire was insane. Still, Colgate was stuck in her wall, and she needed to get her out. She had sampled the brew before she bottled it, and so knew its effects on her. That's how she knew it would be exactly what she would need.

Breaking the seal, and popping the cork, she poured herself a glass. It was a shame to break a bottle's seal before its time, but perhaps she could cheat and make a new batch. After all, her breath was so foul she could fully ferment juice just by breathing on it. Taking a deep breath, she held up the glass.

“Well Colgate, this one's for you!”

She downed it in one swig. It was rather weak, but tasted alright. She quickly put the glass back down on something stable, and ran from the room. She would only have a moment before its effects kicked in. Almost on cue, her body suddenly convulsed. Her limbs grew and shrank like rubber and her head enlarged and shrank like a balloon. She began twisting around like a rubber band and bouncing across the room like some sort of ball. Needless to say, this all felt very, very weird.

Her legs finally began to grow and thicken. Her torso also enlarged as well as her head. Her mane shrunk and finally, her chin changed from rounded to squared.

She had become a stallion.

A big one at that too. He was easily as big as Bic Mac, and if past experience was right, just about as strong too. He stumbled about the room for a moment. He wasn't used to the feeling of being so big, nor the feeling of being a guy. Shaking his head, he set his mind on the task at hand: freeing Colgate.

Placing one massive hoof on the Pony Prying Pole, he gave it a good push. Still nothing.

“OH COME ON!” He shouted, and with two hooves, and all his might, he gave it a mighty shove.

Had he been paying attention, he would noticed at this point Colgate had finally come to her senses. As it was, he had not. Rather, with that mighty push he not only freed her, but propelled her into the opposite wall making yet another Colgate shaped indent. Needless to say, poor Colgate was knocked senseless once more.

Berry's jaw dropped open. Oops. He hoped that Colgate wouldn't be mad for that. Picking up the PPP, he made his way over to Colgate once again. This time, after placing the PPP into position, he gave it a more careful, but strong push. Colgate popped out and landed with a soft thud on the ground; her eyes once again spirals. Heading into the backroom again, Berry grabbed a bottle that he used to wake himself up in the mornings. He knew how much Colgate didn't like drinking this kind of stuff, but again, desperate times, desperate measures. Lifting her head, and opening her mouth, he poured some of the foul smelling drink in. After a moment, Colgate suddenly came to, coughing and sputtering.

“Berry!” she coughed out, “You know I hate that st-” she suddenly stopped. She started looking at Berry with very wide eyes.
****

He was gorgeous. Colgate had no idea who this stallion was, but he was simply dreamy. He had a flowing mane, a strong chin, and wonderful eyes. It seemed as though the very air around him was filled with little hearts and singing birds. Given that things like that could actually happen in Ponyville, Colgate wasn't sure if she was imagining them or not.

“Who,” she started, “are you?” Her eyes filling with both stars and hearts. Her voice was almost dreamy.

“Uh,” the stallion replied awkwardly (though Colgate didn't notice), “Colgate? It's me, Berry. You know, Berry Punch?”

Colgate almost didn't hear him. So far gone was she, that she was all but running through a field of flowers towards this mighty colt. The thing that snapped her out of her revere was his breath. There was no mistaking that evil thing.

She blinked. Several times. “BERRY?” she shouted. She quickly scrambled to her hooves. “BERRY?!” She shouted again. She was shocked. How...why...when...it was impossible! She shook her head. Perhaps the twin blows to her head was causing her to see things. She looked again. Nope, still a stallion standing there. “How...how did this happen?!?” She was so confused.

“Well,” said Berry (by Celestia he had an amazing voice. So deep, so … Coltly!), “I couldn't pry you out of the wall so I drank some liquor that had some Poison Joke and Heart's Desire mixed in to make me stronger. The fact that I turned into a stallion's a side effect I guess.”

And such a handsome one at that. Suddenly, she felt very embarrassed. She turned her head away and she could suddenly feel her face getting hot. “A side effect? You call that a side effect! Well … hurry up and change back! It's really weird looking at you like that!” Colgate said, shutting her eyes hard.

Unbeknownst to Colgate, something suddenly dawned on Berry. He realized what was going through Colgate's mind. He smiled an evil grin. “Oh?” he asked, “You want to change me back? Well, it just so happens that there is no way to change me back. We just have to wait until the drink wears off.” He said, his smile getting bigger. “Looks like you're stuck with this until then.” He said as he lifted his head to toss his mane.

Colgate fumed. Why did he have to be so handsome?! Everything about him was perfect! Even his voice was exactly as she had fantasized her perfect stallion to have. Turning her back to him, she made her way to the door. “Anyway!” she said, “You know what this all means. We have to leave right away! That Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters isn't going to reclaim itself you know!” And with that she opened the door and stepped outside, right into another pony.

*****

Lyra and Bon Bon were not the only ponies in town to hear those squeals. Truth be told, everypony heard them. They were also not the first ponies to arrive at Berry's cottage, nor were they first to begin worrying about what was going on inside. Not long after they had arrived, a loud crash came from inside the home.

“That's it! I'm going inside to see what's going on!” Shouted one rather excited pegasus.

“Hold on there partner!” shouted back another, more calm farmer pony. “We don't have a clue what's in there. 'Could just be Berry 'stumbin about fer all we know.”

“Berry doesn't go BOOM.” replied the perturbed pegasus pony.

“Clearly you an't heard her afta' a potato n' bean soup fest.” The smiled the earth pony.

The pegasus rolled its eyes but said nothing more.

A moment later, the crowd that had gathered outside begun to hear shouting from inside.

“Alright, THAT'S NOT NORMAL!” Shouted the pegasus, who then made a dive for the door. She almost made it, except for the fact that she was suddenly caught by a lasso and pulled back.

“Hold on there partner! We gotta have a plan before we go bargin' in there!”

“Indeed. I agree with her, it would be most impolite to simply barge in there without some form of invitation.” piped up a white unicorn.

During this argument, Lyra had decided to make her way up to the door. Given that the crowd had all begun to argue amongst themselves (Bon-Bon included), it was fairly easy for her to make her way up there. As she reached for the door, it suddenly flew open, and Lyra found herself with a face-full of Colgate.

*****

One impromptu wrestling match later, both ponies found themselves tangled up in a heap of hooves and manes on the ground surrounded by a gawking crowd. A moment later, Berry popped his head out. “You ok Colgate?” he asked. Suddenly sensing he was being stared at, he looked up. What greeted him was dozens of wide eyes. Most of them confused, though a few were more then infatuated.

“I'm fine Berry!” Colgate responded as she attempted to untangle herself from Lyra.

The crowd gasped. “Wait, Berry?!” came one confused voice.

Colgate looked at the crowd (as both she and Lyra stood up and began brushing themselves off). “Yeah, that's Berry. She drank something and it turned her into a stallion.” she sighed.

Suddenly, the looks of confusion turned into shock. As for the looks of infatuation? Well, suddenly their owners felt themselves feeling very confused. Unfortunately, Lyra's eyes were amongst them. She had locked eyes with him just as Colgate had announced that this stallion was indeed Berry. Suddenly, Lyra had no idea what to feel anymore. Confusion was a good start. Yeah, she would start with that. Fascination was a good second feeling. She would go with that too, but beyond that, her emotions and thoughts were too much of a jumble.

Suddenly sensing Lyra's distress, Bon-Bon made her way over to her. “Are you alright?” she asked.

“Y...yeah.” Lyra responded, not quite taking her eyes off of Berry.

Bon-Bon huffed a little, then looked at Berry. Not a smart move. Suddenly, she could understand all too well what was going on in Lyra's mind. However, unlike Lyra, she was going have none of this nonsense. Stomping a hoof to the ground, she spoke, “What is going on here?” She demanded. Even in the face of the strangest moments, Bon Bon had a clear head on her shoulders.

The crowd's eyes eagerly awaited the response.

Berry blushed a little and scuffed a hoof on the ground sheepishly (despite his rather mighty bulk, this act was incredibly adorable). “Well,” he began, “it's like she said. She came to tell the that the Lost Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters had been found. That was when I kinda lost it. I kinda squealed really loud, loud enough to blow her into my wall...” he explained.

“Again!” Colgate interrupted.

Berry cleared his throat, a sound that would have cause many an ignorant mare to swoon, and continued, “... so I had to pry her out. But she was in deep enough that I couldn't get her out by myself. So I took a sip of a drink I had made...”

“You didn't...” said the farmer.

“Yeah, I did.” came the sheepish answer, “And this is what happened.” he said with a shrug.

“Good thing Twilight's out of town, or else she'd most likely run all sorts of tests on you!” exclaimed the white one.

“We wouldn't have time for that anyway! Berry and I have to go and get the Toothbrush. We're already wasting time as it is, and we need to get going.” Colgate tried her best to sound annoyed, but sadly, the more angry or irritated she got, the more adorable her voice and mannerisms became. As a result, several of the ponies in the crowds tried to stifle smiles and giggles in response. Giving another annoyed grunt, she turned back to Berry, looked at him, blushed again, turned her head, grabbed his leg, and began tugging it. “Come on, we've got to get through the Everfree before the sun goes down!”

“Wait, where did you say it was?” asked Berry.

“I didn't tell you? It's in the the Hayseed Swamps, right at the border of Equestria.” Colgate explained.

“Wait, Hayseed Swamps? Are you serious? And why don't we just take the train to Dodge then go from there?” Berry asked. He was actually kinda surprised. He was usually too tipsy to think so clearly, but clearly that drink had another side-effect that he had not expected.

“Because,” said Colgate, “The exact location is found in a book found in some old ruins said to be in the Everfree.”

“Hold on,” started the pegasus, “You're saying that you don't actually know where it is, so you're going to find some old book in some old ruins? Do you even know where these ruins are? Who told you this?”

“A merchant I know who deals with exotic goods and magical artifacts. I actually buy floss from him all the time. And yes I do.” Colgate insisted. “Any case, we've got to go. Come on Berry.” And with that, and a little more tugging, the two of them made their way to the edge of the Everfree.

Unbeknownst to them however, two ponies followed them in the shadows...

Author's Note

Colgate always gets her floss gift-wrapped.

Also: I want to take this moment and point out that I've never drunk a drop of alcohol. Amusing fact, is it not?

Chapter One, Part Four

Part 4

Berry had miscalculated how long the effects of the drink would last. He thought that perhaps it would wear off in a few minutes, an hour tops. But, sadly for him, it was still going strong several hours later. The sun was beginning to set, though that meant little in the Everfree. All light seemed to vanish the moment anypony set foot in it. Glancing about somewhat nervously, he began to question the wisdom of his drinking that brew.

"Berry," Colgate began, turning to look at him. She suddenly blushed and looked away. "So, you said that drink had both Poison Joke and Heart's Desire in it, right?"

"Yeah, it did." Berry still had trouble getting used to that deep, coltly voice. Was it weird to feel attracted to one's own voice?

"What exactly does that do? Last I checked, I thought they did opposite things." Colgate asked, looking both a bit confused and curious as she tried to not look at Berry.

"Uh, well," Berry wasn't much of an alchemist. Well, he was when it came to drinks, but outside of that, it was usually Zecora who was the know-it-all. In fact, she had warned against the idea of mixing the two. "Not really. One just plays a practical joke on you and the other gives you what your heart desires. Mixed together, I suppose they would give you the opposite of what your heart wants." he answered, ducking his handsome head under a low branch.

"So, wait..." Colgate started, before slamming into something. She took a few steps back and shook her head. What was it with her and running into things lately?

"It is best to keep your eyes on the road. At least, that is what I have been told," came a familiar voice. Focusing her eyes, she saw the face of a confused zebra looking back at her.

"Oh, hey! Didn't see you there Zecora!" Colgate piped up cheerfully.

"It would seem you did not. Perhaps you ought to keep your eyes ahead of you as you have been taught." She responded with a small smile. "But of little importance that is my dear filly, for I wish to know, who is this big Billy?" she asked, her eyes seeming to bounce between being filled with little hearts and disgust.

"Uh...well..." Colgate started, not sure how to answer. She was sure that if she told Zecora who it was, she would be furious.

"Wheat Brew, at your service! Traveling pony potions salespony extraordinaire!" He said, beaming a huge grin. Colgate's mouth dropped. What in the name of Equestria was he-she-Berry doing?! "And I have to say, you are even more then I could have imagined!" He gave such a winning smile that Colgate was sure that a casino would go bankrupt just looking at him.

Zecora simply blinked at him. "You say you travel from near and far, and yet, the fact that I recognize that cutie mark I find to be most bizarre. Are you sure you are not sick, or my eyes you aim to trick?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Go ahead miss. You'll see I'm as genuine as any stallion or mare you could set your eyes on!" His charisma was almost unbearable. The only thing keeping Colgate from demanding he take all of her bits was the fact that she knew that this was indeed Berry.

Hesitantly, Zecora made her way over to 'Wheat', and slowly circled him. As she looked him up and down, she kept one eyebrow raised at all times. "Genuine you seem to be, but the recognizable cutie mark still puzzles me." She simply shook her head. "It seems you seek to speak with me, what matter of business would it be? Do you seek flowers and recipes both bold and exotic? Or do you seek simply to make a profit?" She was not one to waste time it seemed.

“Not quite! My dear, rather, I have come to share trade secrets! You see, I've managed to make a fine brew that almost nopony can resist!” No ... He wasn't going to do what Colgate thought he was going to do, was he? “Now, I'm not going to try and sell it to you. Oh no no. You are far beyond that, rather, I wanted to share in a drink with a master of the craft! Nothing more then a friendly drink.” His words were as smooth as crimson silk, as sweet as a honey glaze, and as alluring as a siren's song.

Colgate never did quite close her jaw from when it first dropped. So she was a bit surprised to find it still open when she tried to drop it again. He was...he was going to try and get her to drink some of that crazy brew! Wait, when did he even bring some? He didn't have any saddle ba-

“And here it is Miss, the drink in question!” he said as he reached behind him and seemed to pull a bottle out of thin air. How...? Suddenly, her horror turned to curiosity. Did the brew do that? Did it somehow allow him to create more on the spot, or to store it in some unseen place, or perhaps teleport it? She knew he didn't have any on him when they left. And while she wanted to warn Zecora, she was suddenly filled with a desire to know what would happen if Zecora took a drink. So, she closed her jaw, sat down, and watched.

Zecora didn't seem very amused, but reaching into one of the saddle bags she had on, she produced a water-skin. Pouring it out, she then held it up to 'Wheat'. Taking the bottle in his hooves and removing the cork, he poured a little into it, gave the skin back to her, and then held his bottle in the air as if to offer cheers. Zecora's snout wrinkled a bit as she took a sniff of her water-skin. She paused for a moment. “What is in this drink? It has something of an odd stink.”

“Mostly local herbs actually. Ponyville has some of the best, so I often order directly from there to make some of my potions.”

“You call this a potion? It smells worse then beetle dung lotion!” she snapped.

“Erm, well, it might also be a bit of a party drink, if you catch my meaning.” he responded.

Her eyes narrowed a bit, she was clearly suspicious. Never-the-less, he flashed another winning smile, and with a roll of her eyes, Zecora put the skin to her lips and took a drink. She nearly spat it out, and she coughed quite a bit as it made its way down. She stuck her tongue out and made a face that clearly said she found the drink revolting. Looking at the skin with a scrunched face, she opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly dropped the thing. Her eyes went wide. She twitched once, twice.

“What...What did you...” she began, when all at once a massive horn sprouted from her forehead and a huge pair of majestic wings sprouted from her back. Stumbling from the sudden addition of bizarre appendages, she tripped, and planted her new horn right into the ground. Flailing about, the wings gave a huge flap, which sent her flying high into the air and out of sight. Not long after, they heard the sound of a distant crash, followed by many, many words they did not understand. Berry's face cracked open with a smile as he begun to laugh.

“THAT WAS AMAZING!” Came a shout from somewhere. The voice surprised both Berry and Colgate, causing them both to jump in the air and suddenly hug each other out of surprise.

“SHUT UP! DO YOU WANT THEM TO FIND US?!” came another shout, followed by the sounds of rustling.

“But did yo-” the question was cut off. Berry and Colgate looked around. There! Just a little ways behind them, two figures were hiding in the trees.

“We-We-” Colgate stammered, “We know you're there! Come out!”

The figures stirred, but little else. Colgate recognized the voices, but couldn't quite recall who's they were. However, her finely trained dentists' nose picked up their breaths. The one smelled of sweets and baked goods. The other smelled of...

“I know it's you, Bon-Bon, Lyra!” Colgate shouted.

“Aw man...” came Lyra's voice.

“I told you we'd get caught sooner or later!” growled Bon-Bon.

The two of them stepped out of the forest and onto the path, both looking a bit sheepish. Colgate did have to hand it to them. They had turned out to be surprisingly good at sneaking behind them. They hadn’t heard a sound from them.

“What in Equestria brings you two out here?” Colgate demanded. Her voice becoming that adorable squeak again.

“Well...” Lyra began, her eyes drifting to Berry, who was still in a two-way hug-a-thon with Colgate. “Uh, I..uh...” she trailed off. She wasn't full sure herself why they had followed them out here. Something about Berry made her feel very confused, and yet... “We, uh, wanted to make sure you guys would be alright! You know, what with you guys just wondering off into the Everfree like that. Safety in numbers, am I right?” She put a large innocent smile on her face. Hers was the only one however. Both Berry and Colgate looked at her with looks that said, 'Really? You can do better than that.' Even Bon-Bon's face had a look of disbelief.

“Uh huh...” Colgate responded. “So you decided that the best way to do that was by sneaking behind us?”

“Ermm” Lyra's face shrank a little. She turned to Bon-Bon with a look that pleaded for help. However, she simply frowned, and shook her head.

“I'm just following you to make sure you don't get yourself killed or something.” Bon-Bon said to Lyra.

It was about this time Colgate was aware that she and Berry were still holding each other. With a light tap on his back, she whispered “Berry? Mind letting go?” Berry looked down, and both promptly untangled their limbs (but not without a wee bit of blushing).

Lyra looked back at them. “Uh, ummm...” and then with fake emotion said, “Oh alright! You got me! I just wanted to see what would happen if I-erm-Bon-Bon here took a drink of that stuff!”

“Hey!” came Bon-Bon's objection.

“I mean, look at what it did to Berry!” She said, pointing at the mighty stallion. The other two turned their heads to look. And suddenly poor Berry felt very odd. All three of them stared at him, for a few moments too long.

“*Ahem!*” He cleared his throat loudly. That seemed to do the trick as the other three snapped back to attention.

“Huh? Right!” Lyra's attention suddenly coming back. “So anyway, like, what would happen if we all took a swig? I mean, I'd bet it would be so cool! Not to mention that I might become a...”

“No.” Said Bon-Bon.

“Agreed.” Said Colgate. “You all have bad enough breath as is, you don't need some 'party drink,'” she glowered at Berry who simply smiled, “to make it worse. In fact, the whole reason we're doing this is because...” She paused, then stood upon her hind legs, threw her front ones wide open in a grandiose gesture, then shouted, “The Lost Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters is the only thing powerful enough to finally end the tyrannical reign of bad breath in Berry's mouth!” Had she been Trixie, there would have been a grand round of lightning and fireworks. Sadly, she was not. So the only thing to accompany her proclamation was the distant sound of another crash followed by more strange, yet angry words. Feeling slightly embarrassed, she went back to all fours and blushed a little. “So, uh, anyway. That's why we're doing this.”

Berry nodded in agreement. The other two stood there with blank faces.

“Well, it's getting' dark. You said we needed to get through the forest Colgate?” Berry asked to break the silence.

“No, We need to get to some old ruins. Supposedly the will be a book with the location of the toothbrush there. And by the looks of it, we may need to spend the night there. Come on Berry, let's go.” And with that, Colgate began moving forward once more. Her eye twitched however when she realized that Berry wasn't the only one following her. Throwing an irritated glance over her shoulder, she saw the other two following behind Berry, staring at him with the strangest looks. As badly as she wanted to lose them, she did figure that Lyra at least did have a point about traveling with numbers. At least it would be good to have another level-headed pony along. She and Bon-Bon could at least keep each other sane.

Now, these had been her thoughts as she walked along. As it was however, she never actually finished them. In fact, she had gotten about as far as 'it would be goo-' before her thoughts were rudely interrupted. Had she been paying the attention she ought to have been (and as Zecora had advised), she would have noticed the cliff before her. As it was, she had not.

Luckily, she had happened to choose the spot where she fell over the edge wisely. Rather then plummet to the ground to become a gooey paste with which to clean one's teeth, she found herself stumbling and falling head over hoof down an ancient set of stairs.

Had the others been paying attention as well, they would have seen this. As it was, they had become too busy chatting with each other to notice Colgate's trip down the stairs. However, they were slightly more aware of where they were going, and their conversation came to an abrupt halt as Berry very nearly stepped over the cliff wall himself. He stopped quite suddenly, and raised a leg to stop the other two. “Hold up, there's a cliff here.” Berry said, looking at them.

“What the? Why is there a huge ravine?” Lyra asked, a bit surprised and irritated.

“I think it might have something to do with that.” Bon-Bon answered, pointing a hoof straight ahead. The other two looked up, and saw what she was pointing at.

Before them lay the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters...

Author's Note

I bet the place looks right an' purtty at night.

That or all kinds of spooky.

Chapter One, Part Five

Chapter 5

Colgate fumed. She tossed to her left, then right, then left again. Finally, she rolled on her back, sticking all fours up into the air. She held them there for a moment, then let them fall to her sides. She turned her head to look at Berry. Colgate had no idea anypony could snore so loudly. Not to mention the fact that she could see the putrid fumes of his-her-whatever's breath filling the room. It was a sickly green color. Near Berry's head the miasma was thickest. When s/he would snore out, Colgate would loose sight of that massive, but oh so strong, head. After a moment, the fog would dissipate and fill the rest of the room, (which was slowly turning more and more green with each passing moment) allowing his/her head to be visible once more. No wonder Bon-Bon and Lyra had decided to stay in a separate part of the castle she thought. Colgate began to wonder if she should join them. It would certainly be easier to get some shut-eye wherever they went.

Rolling over to her side (facing away from Berry), she began to reflect on the day. She hoped that it might help take her mind off of the terrible noise and the awful smell...

She remembered waking up at the bottom of a massive chasm. Well, more like coming to her senses at the bottom of a massive chasm. She had hit her head on a lot of steps. Thinking about it, she realized that her poor noggin has been subject to an awful lot of punishment as of late. That however, was beside the point. The chasm had been surprisingly deep. And it struck her as rather odd that there was a set of stairs leading to the bottom of it. She had remembered that when she had taken a look around, she saw that the chasm had simply ran to both her left and right. There was nothing interesting down there. So why had there been a set of stairs that ran down into it?

“Colgate? Colgate!” Berry had shouted down, his voice reverberating off the walls. “You ok?”

“I'm fine!” she had shouted back.

“We're commin' down!” Lyra had shouted back.

“No, I'm fine! I'll be right up! There's nothing down here anyway!” and with one last glance around, she had headed back up the stairs.

Once she had gotten back to the top, she was greeted by six eyes full of worry and confusion. Two of those eyes were infuriatingly charming.

“How did you not see that?” Bon-Bon asked.

Colgate had no answer. “Um...the fog?” She had ventured, turning around hoping to see some fog to giver her claim some credit. Sadly, it was clear, or at least as clear as things got in the Everfree.

“Uh huh...” Bon-Bon's face adopted a look of disbelief.

“Anyway, let's head in there. The book we need is there and we can sleep there for the night.” Colgate said as she turned to head for the bridge. She was followed shortly by the others....

Rolling onto her hooves, she stood up; right into the horrid fog. Little had she realized that being as close to the ground as she had been, she had only been getting the residue of the smell. Now that she stood, she had accidentally put her head right into the thick of it. And it was thick. She gasped and reflexively inhaled sharply. That only made things worse. She felt her poor stomach twist and bend in ways it was never meant to. And the fact that her mouth suddenly felt slimy was the putrid icing on the rotten cake.

Desperate to get out, she bolted.

Into a wall.

Stumbling back a step or two, she blinked her eyes a few times. That had hurt. But, it made her realized that she had ran without even looking where she was going. Fortunately, she had rammed the wall next to the door, which suddenly, and quite magically, flew open with tremendous speed and power as she bolted her way out of that unholy place.

“Fresh, Air!” She gasped as she made her way along the hallway. Looking behind her, she swore she could see the foul green gas spill into the hallway behind her, and begin racing after her. Picking up her pace, she rounded a corner at a rather dangerous speed. This time however, she remembered to keep her eyes ahead of her, that way she could avo-

Slamming into a hoof-rail, she tumbled over and fell to the ground below with a hard smack. Her vision doubled and the stars in the sky nearly tripled in number. She watched as they swirled about. They were so pretty. They danced so nicely in the sky. Danced like little parasprites with glittery wings.

Then the pain set in.

She couldn't much recall the several moments after that. Only that her world was a world of hurt for what seemed like forever. At least until she could finally focus enough to use the painkilling spell she used on her patients. And, like magic, her pain simply melted away. Though her mind still felt a bit numb.

She stood, slowly. Looking around her, she saw that she was now in the main area of the ruins, or at least what she figured was the main audience chamber. There was little to be found here. She imagined what it must have been like back in the day. Had it been like Canterlot? Had it been more humble? Or perhaps even more grand? Did the ponies of that day have a problem with not brushing their teeth as well? She paused, Did they even brush back then?

She shook her head. She just didn't get it. Why did so few ponies brush regularly? Don't they know how important good dental hygiene is? She thought of Berry, and she shuttered. Looking up at where she fell from, she saw that the part of the rail she had ran into had broken off and had fallen down with her. Oops. Still, she was relieved that the horrid gas of rotting death hadn't chased her into the main hall. She wondered how it was she had manged to run into it like that. She was paying attention to where she was going. Then it dawned on her. She recalled, quite suddenly, that she hadn't seen the rail because it had been too dark. Had she lit up her horn, she most likely would had seen it coming. Well, at least she was out of the room. Though she hoped that the smell wouldn't damage the books in there.

She began walking in the direction she thought Lyra and Bon-Bon went. She figured that Berry would be fine. After all, if anything could take that smell, odds were that his/her legs...those powerful, muscular legs...could kick anything from here to the Crystal Empire. She shook her head. She needed to stop thinking of Berry that way! But blast it all! Berry was simply GOURGOUS as a stallion. She was sure it had something to do with that blasted brew! Sure, it changed her to a him. But it's not like she was an especially pretty mare. So why did it change her into such a dreamy stallion? Did perhaps the brew affect not only Berry, but ponies who looked at Berry?

She thought of Zecora. Granted, she didn't know Zecora all that well, but when the town finally stopped hiding every time she came to town, they got to know her a little. She had once stopped by Colgate's clinic to offer her a kind of mint plant that was a bit stronger and lasted longer then the normal kind. She had struck her as a no-nonsense kind of personality. So why on earth had she listened to Berry? She thought back to that moment. Berry had suddenly shown a charm that really she had only seen Flim and Flam have. She was sure that he could have sold Zecroa almost anything with a smile like that. It actually kinda bothered her now that she thought about it. Perhaps the joke was not only on Berry, but...

She heard giggling down the hallway she had begun to wonder down. Stopping she lifted her head and looked around. She couldn't tell where it had come from. Nor could she tell who had made it. Strange. She paused. Tilting her head, she waited to see if it would come again. Nothing. Placing a hoof to her chin she thought for a moment. She could have sworn she had heard that. Squinting, she peered down the hallway, but saw nothing. It was too dark. Focusing a bit of magic into her horn, she lit it. Now that could see a bit better, she looked once more down the hallway. She could see it went straight for a respectable distance before it ended in a door. On the right side of the hall she could see it had three doors, and the left side had two.

Why were there so many doors? Well, there was no way to know for sure which one they were behind without taking a look, so she began at the closest one. As she did, her thoughts drifted back...

“You know, you'd think for royal princess, they'd be a bit more organized!” Colgate said, hefting another book out of the way.

“Well, it has been a long time since they've lived here. Not to mention Twilight's been coming here, and you know how things get when she's been reading. Plus, you know, this kinda was their bedroom.” Berry said, looking through a few more books. “Are you sure we should even be in here?”

“Look, the only thing in Equestria strong enough to kill that nightmarish breath of yours is that toothbrush. And by the Princesses, we're going to find it and make you brush your teeth with it!” She said slamming both a hoof and book to the ground, causing another one to flip up and smack her in the face. Berry stifled a giggle. Colgate was not as amused. Not only had they not found anything in their personal library about the brush, but the seemingly endless string of cranial abuse the universe heaped upon her manged to continue uninterrupted. What was it about her head that seemed to cause everything to hit it?! Or, for it to hit everything for that matter.

Hours later, and they still had not found anything. Finally, Colgate tossed one final book to the side. Lyra and Bon-Bon had gone off on their own when the whole group had arrived at the castle. Or rather, Lyra had wanted to go exploring, and Bon-Bon had refused to let her split off from the group. Pity that meant little to Lyra, for she split off as if poor Bon-Bon had said nothing at all. Needless to say, she chased after her shouting at her to slow down and come back. Thus they had left Colgate and Berry alone to investigate the libraries.

The two of them had come upon the Royal Sister's room first. Since it was somewhat small, and the sun had finally set, they figured that it was a good place to crash for the night; after they did a little looking around of course. Though really the only thing they had accomplished was making beds out of books for themselves by the time Colgate had decided to quit for the night.

No, not this door either. She shut the 5th door she had opened. All of the doors thus far had lead to what looked like storage rooms. She had been working her way up the hall, opening the doors as she went along. That left the door at the end. Trotting up to it, she put her hoof on the knob.

Then the giggling came again.

She darted her head around. Where had it come from? It sounded close, but she couldn't easily tell where it came from. Dismissing it, she turned the knob and opened the door. What she saw, she did not expect.

*******

It was a very unamused pair of eyes.

They were Bon-Bon's to be exact. “Do you hear it too?” she asked, mildly irritated.

Colgate blinked. “Uh, yeah. Do you know what it is?”

“Yes.” She said. She was clearly tired, and annoyed. “It's Lyra. I lost her, and ever since then, I've been hearing her giggling ever since then.”

“You sure it's her?” Colgate asked. She didn't recognize it, and she was unsure it belonged to a fully grown mare.

“I don't know who else it could be. And it seems like the kind of thing she would do.” came the flat response.

“I guess so...” Colgate was unsure, but she was more then happy to have compony at this point. “Mind if I help find her?”

“Sure.”

“Where should we start?”

“I have no idea...” Bon-Bon raised a hoof and massaged her forehead. “But I lost her a little ways down the hall behind me. There's what seems like a bunch of hallways with a bunch of doors leading to who knows where. I tired to follow her, but she went down one hallway, then another, then through a door I think, and then I lost her.”

“Alright, let's go. I'm sure we'll find her.” Colgate responded. Bon-Bon turned around, and the two of them headed down the hall.

*********

“Oh...jeese Berry! I knew you had bad breath, but this is ridiculous! Still, if that little drink of yours can give a Zebra wings and a horn, I can only imagine what it would do to me!”

A quiet figure made its way to his side. Stepping carefully over his massive frame, the figure began looking around. Where did he keep it? Looking about the figure didn't see any satchels or saddle bags. How could that be possible? Berry wasn't a unicorn, so he couldn't have teleported it or something like that. Sitting down, the figure began to ponder. If only they could figure out where it was hiding. They really wanted to take a sip, just a small one. Or perhaps a big one. But mostly the figure just wanted to see what would happen.

Then, they felt a heavy weight lean against them. Smiling, they looked down. It was the bottle...

Author's Note

And this is why Earth Ponies shouldn't make magical potions. Zebras are legit; stay classy oh striped ones...

Chapter One, Part Six

Part 6

The giggling had increased, and Bon-Bon continued to get more and more irritated by it (or so it seemed). She was convinced it was Lyra, hiding and giggling at them as a prank. Granted, that did seem like something Lyra would do, being the good-natured pony she was, but Colgate was unsure. She'd heard Lyra giggle before. She would often giggle after Bon-Bon had gotten a Novocaine injection and Bon-Bon would try to talk. Then again, even Bon-Bon would giggle at that. This of course annoyed Colgate, who often was in the middle of doing something while Bon-Bon and Lyra would start giggling like babies. And the worse part was that it would keep going! Just when one would stop, the other would find the silence hilarious, and would begin giggling uncontrollably, which of course would lead to the other one giggling, and so on and so forth. It was horrible! What should have been only a 20 minute check-up for BOTH of them would turn into almost 30 minutes just for ONE of them! So she had plenty of experience hearing that giggle. This was not the same giggle. Though she had no idea who it belonged to, something about it sounded familiar. But, what was it?

They wondered though another door. Unsurprisingly, this one lead to another hallway. Bon-Bon snorted. “Colgate, do you know where you're going? I'm pretty sure we've already been down this way!”

“I was following you...” Colgate responded.

There was silence. The two of them stared at each other, both in disbelief.

“WHAT?” They both shouted in unison.

“Wait, you're saying that we've been following each other this whole time?!” exclaimed Bon-Bon.

“I...guess so.” she said, looking around. Now that Bon-Bon mentioned it, this hallway did look familiar...

********

Lyra's heart was pounding. She slammed the wall, hoping it would do something. Her panicked eyes darted left and right. The hallway was empty, save suits or armor evenly spread along either side of the walls. She looked back at the wall. “BON-BON! BON-BON! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!? HELLO?” She shouted. No answer. She pressed her ear to the wall (as best as she could mind you). Nothing. She took a few steps back from it. It looked like any other part of the wall. Yet, when she had run past this section, it had flipped around so fast that she almost didn't notice. In fact, she had kept her momentum and had crashed into a suit of armor. She had removed most of the armor when she got up, but decided to keep the helmet. It felt oddly comfortable.

Well, now she was alone. Alone and lost in an ancient castle. A castle, that for all she knew, that could be haunted! Gotta keep a grip! It's not haunted!, or so she tried to say to herself. Clearly, her rising panic was little more then the result of her imagination getting away from her! Though the building fear in her chest and stomach disagreed. And that shadow that bounced away at the end of the hallway didn't help much either.

Wait.

What?

She blinked. Looking again, she suddenly realized that she could see little beyond her new helmet. Lighting up her horn, and raising the visor, she peered down the hallway again, only to see something vanish into the shadows. “Nope! I'm not dealing with this. Not gonna happen!” She said, taking a few steps backwards, her eyes starting to fill with terror.

“But isn't it fun to be scared?” whispered a voice in her ear.

And that was it. Lyra no longer had any interest, or ability for that matter, to control herself. Screaming at the top of her lungs, she belted down the way and rounded the corner. She repeated this process many, many times. Thankfully, the helmet she kept on reduced the blow from when she would run into the odd wall or dead-end during her blind run of panic. In fact, so fast was her flight, that the crashing of metal on stone almost became rhythmic.

*********

Berry stirred. The dream he was having was odd to put it mildly. It was filled with zebra feathers and redundantly rhythmic rock rhyming. They rolled about as they riddled him with their rhymes and rather round figures. He found himself being wrapped around a tree while they rapped about wrapping him alive (with wrapping paper no less!).

The paper had been Red.

Red like a certain stallion...

Berry's eyes shot open and he stood up. Not used to having such a large stature, he lost his balance in a fit of dizziness and stumbled to the side. He tripped, and fell on something lumpy, yet soft. A small surprised squeak and a stifled squeal came from under him as he concluded his trip to the floor. He had landed on something. Something pony shaped he thought. Struggling to get his massive girth under control, he tried to stand. The attempt was shaky at first but this time he got to his hooves without trouble. He looked down to see who the poor pony was he had crushed. Odd. There was nopony there; only a small pink hair...

*********

At this point the giggling was madding. It came from every which direction and only got louder and louder. Even plugging their ears did nothing as the giggling was both in their heads as well as in the air. They had been wandering the hallways and doors nearly at random and finally found themselves at what looked like an old garden or something. It was a small courtyard that was surrounded by crumbling walls that opened to the sky. They could see the stars shining brightly in the sky as they made their way into the garden. Glancing back, they noticed that they entered from seemed like a back way. An old arch stood opposite of them leading out of the garden and onto a pathway that seemed to run along the walls outside of the garden. They presumed that this arch was the main entrance into the garden, or at least it had been in times past. As they made their way though the garden, they head the giggling lessen some.

“Finally!” snapped Bon-Bon. “I was going mad! When I get my hooves on Lyra...” she trailed off dangerously.

Colgate however had other things on her mind. That giggle. She knew it, but she just couldn't place it. The whole time they had spent wandering around it had bugged her. It was light and bubbly, most of the time. Other times, it was a little different. Not wildly so, but enough to notice. Well, she noticed. Colgate doubted that Bon-Bon had. This whole time she had gone on and on about Lyra this and Lyra that. That alone would have been enough to drive any sane pony mad. But add the giggling? The only thing that kept her from snapping and joining with the giggling was her single-track mind. She had to find that brush. As soon as she did, she was sure all of this nonsense would come to an end. She didn't know the exact properties, but she hoped it would not only finally clean Berry's awful breath, but perhaps it would turn him/her back in to a mare! As the mental image of Berry popped up, she felt her cheeks get hot. Bon-Bon stopped for a moment.

“Colgate? Are you alright?” she asked. “Your face is turning red.”

Realizing that Bon-Bon could see this caused her face to burn even hotter. “I...I'm fine! I'm just a little sick from..uhh...Berry's breath! Yeah!” she said.

Well, she attempted to say that, but most of it came out as squeaks. Not only did her voice become all the more adorable when she was mad, the same sort of thing happened whenever she was extremely embarrassed. It also happened when she felt scared, excited, so on and so forth. In fact, the poor mare's voice would reach the squeaky level of decibels whenever she found herself under the effect of any strong emotion. As one could guess, this problem has caused more then one destructive loop of squeaking and squealing to lead to even higher squeaking and squealing. Thankfully, and luckily, Bon-Bon was one of the few ponies who could actually understand her during these times.

You see, when Bon-Bon first got her current job, she had gotten a little too excited. Rather then make candies for customers, she ended up making hundreds, if not thousands of sweets for herself. Needless to say, it was not long after that she became a regular at Colgate's clinic. As a result, Bon-Bon was often subject to these squeaks and squeals as Colgate often lost her temper and yelled at Bon-Bon for not taking better care of her teeth. At first she had no idea what was going on, but eventually she learned how to decipher it.

“That's right! You two slept in the same room! That must have been awful!” Bon-Bon said. She has no idea... Colgate thought. “So, did the two of you find any-WILL YOU STOP GIGGLING?!?” Bon-Bon bellowed as she looked up. You see, as Colgate had begun speaking (and thus squeaking) the giggling had not only gotten louder then before, it basically doubled as well.

There was silence for a moment.

“Did you HEAR the noises she was making!?!” Came a voice from somewhere. It was a high-pitched voice. Colgate knew it! But who did it belong to?! Wait! Wasn't it-

Then all of the giggling turned into laughter.

Hundreds upon hundreds of voices it seemed like were laughing, chortling, and guffawing. Colgate slowly sank to the floor and covered her eyes and ears, trying to block out the horrible barrage of sounds and the world around her. No matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn't seem to block it all out. The laughter got louder. Closer. Clearer. Then finally...

*********

Lyra ran at speeds she had not know she could run. Granted, she was fairly quick for a unicorn. But when one is running blindly with fear through unknown hallways, apparently one's legs can move even faster then they could have ever guessed. It also helped that her now very dented helmet took almost all of the shock when she would ram into a wall. What she didn't know what that during her flight she had passed through the following: One pit of sticky goo, one wall of feathers, two large paint rollers covered in black paint, and finally, one room full of paint brushes ready to go to work. After all was said and done, she looked like one amazing terror of the night. Pity she didn't have a mirror. Odds are, she would have rather liked this outfit. It would have won a costume contest easily! As it was however, she was too focused on not paying attention to where she was running to notice.

***********

“PINKIE PIE!” Shouted Bon-Bon. Colgate's eyes opened. There stood before the two of them was the party pony of Ponyville itself. “CUT IT OUT! Can't you see what you're doing to Colgate?” She snorted as she took a step forward.

Pinkie snorted, and placed a leg over her nose to cover a giggle. “Oh, come on! It's all about having fun right? And who doesn't want to have some fun!? Am I right girls!?” She asked as she bent her head upwards. Suddenly, from holes in the walls above and even from the edges of the roof, hundreds of Pinkie Pies appeared. All of them grinning, all of them staring. A cloud passed in front of the moon, casting the garden in shadow.

Their smiles glowed in the darkness. Hundreds of smiles. All of them beaming and broad. And all of them, directed at Colgate.

“It's all about having fun. And what fun we are going to have tonight!” Said the one before them. She took several steps forward. “It's all about having fun. That is, as long as it's fun for me...”

Author's Note

One may ask, why would Colgate use Novocaine when she has a handy-dandy painkiller spell? Well, you see, not all dentists are unicorns, and so she was taught to do her operations without magic. So, being young an eager to begin her career, she developed the habit of using it before she learned the spell. It's a habit that she's never broken and feels no real need to do so. After, what's a visit to the dentist without it?

Right?

Chapter One, Part Seven

Part 7

Berry stumbled out of the room. It had been too long since he'd had a drink. Not only that, where had Colgate run off to? And even after that, what in Equestria happened back in that room? He shook his head to try and make sense of it all. All that manged to do was make the growing headache even worse. His mouth felt dry and he smacked his lips. He wished he had some water or something to drink. Drink. Wait, that's right! Didn't he have that bottle he brought with him? Then again, its effects *still* hadn't worn off. He didn't want to stay like this any longer then he needed to be. Not only did it feel really, really weird being a guy, but the other girls kept looking at him weirdly. Those looks made him feel rather uncomfortable. He could tell that Colgate tried to keep them hidden, but he knew. He saw her face turn red, red like wrapping paper. Now it was his turn to blush. He couldn't even remember who it was that had been in his dream, but it was somepony special. A-Anyway, turning his thoughts back to Colgate, he felt kinda bad for her. He knew that she was uncomfortable while he was like this. So, he decided, it would be best to leave things alone and not drink anymore of the bottle. He nodded and licked his lips. That was a good swig right there. Hit the spo-wait. He looked down.

He was holding the bottle with his left foreleg.

NUTS! He did it again! He drank without even thinking about it! He did that from time to time, usually in the mornings. He would wake up, and before he was even fully aware of what time it was, he would already be working on a fresh bottle. Well, she at the time, but that was beside the point. Though, if this kept up, he might never go back to being a she...

That was a scary thought. Best not to dwell on it. He needed to find Colgate. Yes. That's what s/he needed to focus on. Though it was hard to move forward with twitching limbs. S/he tried to walk forward, but Berry's legs wanted to move to the side. Falling flat on the face, Berry groaned in pain. A higher pitched groan then was expected. Hold on, did that mean? Berry's hooves began to feel the face. It was rounded. Standing up, Berry almost let out a shout of joy. Berry was a mare again! Racing down the hall, she let out a triumphant whoop.

Running out of the hallway, she entered into what looked like the main hall. Stopping at the rail, she took a look around. What a lovely evening! The stars were so wonderful, and the air was so fresh! She smiled a huge smile. This was a good day. She let out a sigh. Even her breath didn't seem as green as usual! Granted, it still caused mold to spontaneously grow on the railing (the part that wasn't missing anyway), but that was beside the point! Practically skipping down the walkway, she made her way to the end of the hall, where the stairs came down to meet each other at the floor. Granted, it is somewhat of a mystery as to how a pony skips, but she managed all the same.

Making her way out to the center of the hall, she took another deep breath. She was never so happy to be sober and a mare! Practically doing a little dance on the spot, she made her way back up the stairs. At the top she looked over the hall below. For a moment, she wondered what it must have been like to have been a Princess. It must have been grand, looking over such a hall. She imagined it full of ponies bowing, showering praise upon Celestia as she made her way along. She closed her eyes and listened to the shouts and exclamations of excited ponies. She even heard the unholy wailing of terror of-wait, what?

Her eyes popped open, just in time to see a creature of living nightmare run from one hallway entrance to another. She blinked. Nope. Not gonna deal with that. She produced the bottle once more and took a deep drink...

They panicked. Turning themselves around, they bolted back down the corridor. Pinkie was a nice enough pony. Fun, full of laughter and good humor. The life of the town practically. This however, was just the opposite. As they ran through doorways and passages, Pinkie(s) would randomly cut them off with a terrifying look of glee. Sometimes it was a scary mask. Other times it was a misshapen face, or two, or five. Whatever it was, it only served to deepen their panic and terror. Pinkie, and her army, seemed only find the whole thing more and more hilarious. The louder Colgate and Bon-Bon screamed, the harder Pinkie and her clones would laugh. What had happened to her? Why was she doing this? Colgate's mind was in a blur. She couldn't even think straight enough to use magic. All she knew was that somehow, Pinkie had suddenly become very cruel.

Rounding another corner, they found themselves heading down a hallway that lead to the main hall. That's it! If they could manage to get out of here, back to Ponyville, and tell Twilight about this, that should fix the problem! And then she saw something.

It was coming down the hallway opposite of theirs, on the opposite side of the main hall. It was big, and it was black. And it was moving fast. She narrowed her eyes to try and see what it could be. It was covered in what looked like feathers, and it was black, with ... red eyes. And it made a noise that caused her blood to freeze. She had not heard it at first, on account of her and Bon-Bon's own screams. However, as it closed in on them, they froze in their tracks. It ran across the great hall and entered into the hallway where they were, blocking their exit. It continued to run at them, the terrible noise growing ever louder. They turned, and saw that their path was blocked by hundreds of grinning Pinkies. All of them staring at them with large eyes, and all of them on the edge of laughter. As if they were expecting the greatest punchline of punchlines.

They were trapped.

Looking back at the closing orb of horror, and glancing again at the wall of malevolent grins in front of them, both ponies felt it was all over.

Then they heard a mighty belch.

It shook the walls and even the floor. It shook the roof and caused dust to fall. It even rattled and shook the wall of Pinkies about like a barrel of rocks. Colgate knew that belch. It was Berry! She was nearby! And with a belch that big, it could only mean one thing. She must have drank more of the bottle (did that thing ever run out?)!

Slamming a hoof onto the ground, she pivoted around and faced the rolling nightmare that now was only a few paces away.

“BERRY!” She bellowed. “I SWEAR, IF YOU DRANK MORE OF THAT BOTTLE-SO HELP ME!”

The creature suddenly stopped, almost as if in confusion.

Perfect.

Lowering her head down, she focused her horn and reached for Bon-Bon's satchel. Sadly, Bon-Bon did not actually have a satchel on her, so Colgate ended up grabbing her instead. Bon-Bon let out a surprised squeak, but was cut off as she was hurled through the air, directly at the face of the monster. With a heavy impact, she collided with the thing head-on and both creature and pony went flying back and into the hall.

Berry finished the bottle, and brought it down to look at it. Man this was a good one. A bit odd, but real-her thoughts were interrupted as she saw the bottle begin to fill once more. Huh. Bottles are not supposed to do that. As she mused, her body once more began to shift and change. This time, it was almost instant, and ended with a belch to end all belches. So strong was it it caused his eyes to go ascew and his tongue to flop about. It even shook the walls for good measure. Wow, he was impressed.

“BERRY!” came a rather hoarse shout. It was Colgate, and she was mad. “I SWEAR, IF YOU DRANK MORE OF THAT BOTTLE-SO HELP ME!” Berry swallowed, hard. He was in trouble. He wasn't sure why he was in trouble, but he knew that he was. Unsure whether to run to her voice, or away, he froze to the spot. Which worked out rather nicely if he had been looking for the perfect vantage point to see what happened next.

From the doorway that the creature had entered, it came flying back out. It landed in the middle of the hall with a loud clang noise, and in a burst of feathers that filled the air. After a moment, Colgate came storming out of the doorway and looked around. Berry began to move, for fear of being spotted.

“BERRY PUNCH!” Too late.

Berry froze as Colgate's eyes lock on him. Rearing up, Colgate slammed two hooves on the ground and nearly broke the sound barrier running to Berry. Berry almost noticed that the force of her hooves hitting the ground, combined with the speed that she blasted off with, blew the feathers off of the beast.

Almost.

Rather, what he saw was a blue blur that moved at a terrible speed. He decided that he too should get moving. Luckily, for him, there were two sets of stairs that intertwined and led up to where he was. So, thinking quickly, he dashed down the stairs Colgate was not rocketing up, across the main hall, and down the very same hallway that the two ponies and a black-feather-covered-Lyra (wait, what?) had come out of. He had hoped that by running down the stairs while Colgate ran up to him would help put a little distance between them, seeing as how she all but teleported up the left staircase and he ran down the right one. It more or less worked, though the rather angry-looking blue unicorn was still hot on his hooves.

As he bolted down the hall, his eyes came upon the giant pile of Pinkies. Deciding that dealing with them would be better then the wrath of Colgate (what in Equestria was she so mad about anyway? It didn't make any sense!), he charged forward. They all looked up at him as he came close, and all of their eyes turned to hearts. All at once their mouths opened, as if to speak. Berry steeled himself and decided to barge on through; no time to listen!

BAM

He smacked right into a Pinkie that decided to throw herself at him in a big hug. The impact of his massive chest however was too much, and the pink pony promptly became a poofy pink puff. The only thing that remained was a single pink hair that stuck to his chest. Another dived at him. More pink poof. Another, and another. One after another they all began throwing themselves at him, their eyes massive hearts. And almost all of them disappeared as Berry continued to plow through them. However, a few did managed to grab on. And once that begun, it was only a matter of moments until he found himself at the bottom of a pile of Pinkie Pies. Mighty as that drink made him, he simply wasn't strong enough to get out from under all of them...

Lyra got up. Her head was still ringing and her senses were slow in coming back. Reaching up, she pulled the very, very dented helmet off. Her ears were still ringing from her own screaming and the sound of her hitting the walls. She looked around.

“BERRY!” came a surprisingly muted shout from behind her. It would seem her hearing would take a while to come back. Turning around, she saw Colagte slam her front hooves into the ground and take off. The force of her propulsion knocked her off her hooves and onto her flank. She groaned in pain, and noticed that the air was filled with feathers. Where did they all come from? Looking down, she saw a very stunned Bon-Bon lying on the ground in front of her.

“Bon-Bon?” she asked, reaching a hoof to try and stir her. Then she heard popping sounds. Looking up she saw Berry bravely barging his way through what seemed to be a massive bobbing blob of pink. She saw what looked like dozens of puff clouds filling the air and Berry getting covered by pink hairs. Colgate was right behind, but had stopped at the edge of the rolling pink pile. What was going on? Figuring that Bon-Bon wasn't going to wake up soon, and seeing Berry become covered in...PINKIES?! What in the world?

She dashed over there just in time to see the last part of Berry become covered, his right rear hoof. Colgate was fuming. It was clear that she was very angry. However, she did nothing. She simply sat there, looking at the Pinkie pile with frustration. Then, Lyra got an idea.

“BERRY!” She shouted as loudly as she could. “GIVE ME THE BOTTLE! IT MIGHT HELP!”

Colgate's fiery eyes turned onto Lyra. Lyra tried to not feel her stare burn its way through her skull, but it was mighty hard. After a moment, she saw the small brown bottle pop out. She reached over, and so did Colgate. Both of them grabbed it with their magic and began tugging at it.

“HELP!” came Berry's muffled cry. This however, only served to make the two pull even harder. Tugging with all their might, drops of sweat began to run down their faces. Then Lyra got an idea. She let go.

Colgate promptly flew back and hit the wall, causing the bottle to leave her grasp and send it flying through the air. With little effort, Lyra caught it again, and quickly brought it to her lips.

She drank.

She began to change almost immediately. Her body stretched and shrank and stretched like an accordion. Then, all at once, the change took place.

She was...not quite what she had expected. Her body had become one large object. And she had what seemed like 5 appendages coming from her. Each one a slightly different size. She moved each one, and they responded. For a moment, she was unsure of what she had become, but then she remembered something. Spike had these. Or rather, Spike had what she now was. Yes, she had become...

A giant foot. With wings attached for good measure.

Author's Note

A friend of mine told me that this story was all a bit on the too random side. Perhaps they are right, perhaps they are wrong. Either way, if you've made it thus far, I must offer my thanks.

Chapter One, Part Eight

Part 8

Hugs. So many hugs. Granted, they felt more like death-squeezes, but they were hugs all the same. Hundreds of them. He was stuck in a boiling mass of affection. Legs wrapped around his own fours, his torso, and even his head. One moment he was pinned to the ground from the shear weight of the Pinkies, and another he was lifted off the ground as several dozen tried to hug him from the underside. Up he would go, only to be slammed down once more as more and more Pinkies pile-drived their way through each other to get to him, causing his massive bulk to crush the poor hapless Pinkies under him. He had no idea how long this would last for, nor did he know just how many hugs he could take. While he appreciated love hugs as much as the next pony, this was too much! Too much love!

“HELP!” he shouted at the top of his voice. He had no idea of knowing if his voice could be heard through the endless swirling mass of swirly manes. Though even this was not enough to shield him from the fire that burned in Colgate's eyes.

“BERRY!” Came a shout from behind him. “GIVE ME THE BOTTLE! IT MIGHT HELP!” the voice bellowed. He had no idea who it could have been, but it wasn't Pinkie, and that was good enough for him! Still not entirely sure how to bring the bottle into being, he began kicking wildly, hoping that it would appear somewhere near his hind legs. However, rather then the feeling of hitting a bottle that he had hoped for, all he got was the feeling of his hooves slamming into the faces of many a Pinkie Pie. Well, at least that made some of them disappear, right? Unbeknownst to him however, it had worked like magic. The bottle had appeared behind his left hind-hoof, though it had appeared in the grinning mouth of a suddenly very surprised Pinkie. She had expected to give this big handsome hunk of a horse a huge hug, but instead got a bottle in her mouth, and a hoof to her face. Needless to say, it was not that particular Pinkie's day. The force of the kick had propelled the bottle to the floor, and out of the pile.

Had Berry known this, perhaps he would have relaxed a little. As it was, he was woefully ignorant of that fact, and continued to struggle. That is, he continued until a loud **THUMP** launched he and the entire pile up into the air; which of course promptly came crashing down (flatting a few more hapless Pinkies. Poor Pinkies).

The horde stopped. The endless hugs stopped, and all the Pinkies looked in the same direction. There was silence. Then, another **THUMP**. This time, it caused the whole horde to bounce around the walls like bouncy balls and to ricochet off of everything, and everypony, in the hall. Berry tried to stand, but the pummeling pink ponies pounding his backside kept him pinned as they slammed about.

Then a low rumble began.

It was the Pinkies.

They had begun to laugh.

It started as a low giggle, but quickly rose to loud and reckless laughter. It sounded down the halls and through the very stones themselves. The walls began to crack and break and even the stone floor began to shift and move. Something small fell on Berry's head. Shaking it off, he looked. It was a piece of the ceiling. Looking up, he could see huge cracks beginning to form along it and along the walls. Finally able to stand, for they had stopped bouncing and now were on their backs laughing at the top of their lungs, he turned around and headed for his friends. They needed to get out of-WHAT IN THE NAME OF-

His thought was cut off as he slammed into the giant Lyra-foot. Sending both pony and appendage back from each other. Still, this was no time to be questioning things! Gathering his head, he charged forward again, this time lowering his head so as to scoop the giant foot into his back. No easy thing, for the foot was even bigger then he was. Normally there would not have been enough room on his back for both Berry and Foot-Lyra, but the ceiling above them had split open widely enough to allow for their combined height.

“Hey!” The giant foot objected, “Put me down! I can move just fine thank you!”

“WE GOTTA LEAVE!” Berry shouted back.

“FINE, BUT GRAB COLGATE!” it shouted back.

“WHAT?” Berry shouted back, looking around as he made his way to the exit.

“SHE GOT BLOWN BACK WHEN I STOPMED ON THE GROUND, SHE'S RIGHT THERE, TO YOUR LEFT!” it shouted. Berry almost took the time to wonder where the voice was coming from. Far as he could remember, he hadn't seen a mouth on it. But that was beside the point.

Looking left, he saw her. She was planted into the wall, upside down, eyes spiraling.

You have got to be kidding me, he thought. Something had told him he would need his PPP, but he had dismissed it. Why would he ever need a pole for prying ponies out of a wall? Well, why would he need one when he wasn't in his home? Still, the walls and even the ceiling had begun to collapse so he had no to time to think. Turning, he placed two massive hooves on the pole and gave it a powerful push. Wait, a pole?

With that, Colgate flew out of the wall, and out of the exit, and into a far wall. This time however, her imprint was fairly light. Blinking several times, he looked down at the pole. It was a light green color with white accents. And on one end, sat a shining symbol of a lyre.

“What the...” Berry had begun.

“MOVE IT BOCKHEAD!” the pole shouted at him, making him jump just a little. He quickly recovered however, and grabbed the pole and dashed out of the corridor and into the main hall. There, they were little better.

The walls in the great hall had begun to crumble and fall, and what was left of the roof was beginning to fall as well. The walkways above begun cracking at their seams and at the far end of the hall, broke off the walls and fell to the floor below, and in some spots, the floor gave out and fell into darkness. Looking over to where Colgate hit, the wall's cracks grew even greater from her impact. They spread rapidly, and before he could even finish processing what was happening, they hit the walkway above her. Letting out a shout, he ran over there, only to be beaten by Bon-Bon. Had Berry been thinking about it, he would have been surprised at her speed, but as it was, there were more important things to do. In one smooth motion Bon-Bon picked her up and she and Berry ran for the main exit. A huge chunk of roof fell from above, slamming into the ground in front of them, and causing the floor to collapse as well. They stopped, looking at the sudden chasm before them. Then, all at once, the walls finally gave...

Her mind was in so many fragments that it was impossible for Pinkie to think straight. She had only wanted to see what would have happened if she took a sip. She was never one for drinking, for what fun was a party if you couldn't remember it the next day? And hangovers? Pahhhleeese! Still, seeing what happened to Zecora, this seemed like too good of a chance to miss! She had never meant to drink as much as she had. She had only wanted a sip. After all, she had missed all the commotion, but had heard that Berry and Colgate had run off on an adventure, and that Berry had made a drink that did the craziest stuff! So, after making sure the little ones were situated (for she had been watching them and thus could not investigate the commotion), she snuck off after them. Thankfully, Lyra and Bon-Bon had gone ahead of her, and were really, really bad at being sneaky. So it had been easy enough to stay out of sight and follow them to the castle.

Once there, it was a simple matter of waiting for them to fall asleep. Well, waiting was never Pinkie's strength, so it wasn't very simple at all. But she had managed. Even if she had wondered off from her hiding spot and had found herself in a whole mess of crazy adventures. Everything from that great frog king that was really a shrubbery, to the race of giants that had chosen her to be their Goddess-Queen. It had been one crazy night. Still, they had fallen asleep, save Colgate, who had finally stormed out of the room. And braving the fog, she had made her way over to the bottle. Oddly, she had not actually seen Berry as a colt. Rather, to her eyes, she had looked like a large overgrown clown. This had delighted Pinkie the first time she had seen it, and seeing that clown up and close had only strengthened her resolve to get the bottle.

It had come as a pleasant surprise when it had simply appeared next to her after looking around. But she wasn't about to argue. She picked it up and looked at it. It wasn't anything fancy really. Just a simple bottle, big enough for about 5 or 6 ponies, depending on how much each one drank. It was unmarked save a small scratch in the center of the bottle with the letters 'AB'. She turned it over and over, milling over the idea of drinking it. On the one hoof, she had no idea what it would do to her. On the other hoof, it had turned Berry into a big clown that put her into giggling fits. Then it dawned on her. Both points were actually pluses! As she looked at it, she could almost hear it telling her, begging her to drink it. Had there been another pony in the room (who was awake) they would have indeed heard the spooky and ghostly voices telling her to do just that. They also would have noticed the miasma beginning to whirling about her, and even tiny bits of debris beginning to swirl about her as well. They would have noticed the voices getting louder and the maelstrom becoming fiercer as she opened the bottle. They would have noticed the unnatural yet beckoning light that began to beam from it, illuminating her face and casting terrifying shadows on the roof. Had they looked, they would have seen the legion of smiles that cracked across the faces of those shadows, and had they listened, they would have heard them all laughing and egging her on. As it was however, there was nopony there, and she did not notice a thing. So, lifting it high in the air, and offering a toast to Fun, she chugged the whole thing in one gulp.

Her eyes lit up and the room exploded around her. All at once she felt both infinite in size, and shattered into a thousand pieces. Each piece becoming a whole Pinkie unto itself. And each Pinkie becoming part of a fractured whole.

In short: she had created a hive of herself, with each one being little more than a tiny part of her mind. And since the only thing that was on her mind was fun, that was the only thing those Pinkies could comprehend. So, as a result, the real Pinkie was no longer in control, and thus unable to do anything about what her plethora of pink puff ponies decided to do in the name of having fun...

Author's Note

I try to imagine what experiencing hundreds of ponies giggling within such a small space would be like, and all I can think of is it being not too far divorced from being covered in thousands of purring kittens. Though there would be less claws methinks...

Chapter One, Part Nine

Part 9

A heavy stomp hit the ground behind them, heavy enough to launch both Bon-Bon and Berry a few hooves into the air. Before either of them could figure out what had happened, a hard kick hit them from behind and sent them flying over the chasm and out through the main doorway. As their faces planted into the dirt, and poor Colgate rolled off to the side, a giant winged foot landed safely behind them.

“Lyra!” Bon-Bon shouted through a face full of dirt.

Berry stood, turned, and looked at her (it was still a her, right?) with annoyance. That expression, however, suddenly changed to shock. Behind the flying foot Berry saw the entire castle collapse. Dust billowed high into the night sky, blocking out the moon and even the stars. It spread up, out, and over the tops of the trees of the Everfree, coating it all with a layer of dust. It blew over the three ponies (and the feathered foot) like a massive wall of gray, blinding them and muting all sound. Berry tried hard to shake the dust from his eyes and Bon-Bon flew into a coughing fit. Colgate stirred and slowly stood.

“What … what happened?” She asked, looking about with her eyes a bit unfocused. She tried to remove the dust from her eyes with magic, but given that she had just recovered from yet another unforeseen concussion to the head, it was a bit hard to manage. Thankfully however, a self-propelled feather duster had made its way over to her and had begun removing the dust from her face. “Ah, thanks...” she started, opening her eyes to see who had been so kind. Her eyes met a light green duster with white feathers brushing her face off. What really unnerved her, was the fact that too little eyes were close to the top of the handle and from the top of the handle protruded a small horn. The eyes looked at her, and the horn glowed with the familiar gold of Lyra's magic. Blinking once or twice, she took several steps back in shock. “WHAT!?” She shouted as stumbled away in suprise.

“Hey, Relax! It's me, Lyra.” the duster replied. Colgate just stared, her eyes joined with Bon-Bon's and Berry's. It turned left and right to look at all three of them. “Seriously guys! Relax, It's just me. I mean, yeah, sure, I don't look like I thought I would, but it's me.”

“What happened?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Well … I drank Berry's brew.” the duster replied almost nonchalantly. “I saw that Berry was under all of those Pinkies, and I figured that if I took a drink of that stuff-” she hesitated for a moment, as she was unsure whether to call Berry he or she, “Berry made, it might turn me into something that could help.”

“Like what?” Colgate asked.

“Well, to be honest …” she started.

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “Oh come on! Seriously Lyra, let it go!”

“Hey! You never know! It might have worked!” she snapped back.

Colgate looked between the two, feeling somewhat confused as to what they were talking about, but decided to drop it. “Alright everypony, let's calm down. A lot just happened and we've got to get our acts together.” she said, holding a foreleg in the air. Bon-Bon relaxed slightly and the duster slowly lowered itself to the ground. The two then turned to Colgate, waiting to hear what she had to say next. Berry however, avoided her eye contact. “Okay, first, what in the name of Equestria just happened?” She asked, looking between the three others.

“Well-” Bon-Bon started.

Then the ground shook.

It heaved once. Then all was still. It heaved again, kicking dust into the air and making the air hazy once more (for the dust had manged to settle somewhat while the four talked). The three ponies stumbled then braced themselves as a third shock wave came.

“What's happening?!” Berry shouted.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Colgate said as she looked over to the ruins.

“Kidding about wh-” Lyra stared, but stopped when she turned around.

A massive pile of rubble and dust had begun to rise. As it grew in height, massive chunks of stone and dust fell away from it. Taller and taller it grew, casting a large shadow over the four, and the forest behind them. It was nearly shapeless at first, but as more and more of the now ex-castle fell away from it, a shape began to appear. It had a long back, four legs, and a truly large head that lifted up and flung debris far into the sky and into the distance. They could not make out any details, but the poofy mane and tail that began to take shape told them exactly what it was. The Pinkies had combined. They had made,

A Pinkie Prime.

It shook its head left and right, kicking the dust of it and causing powerful winds to begin to blow. They bent the trees and sent small bits of this and that flying away, including the Lyra-Duster. It moved the shaking from its head to its body and to its tail. The whole motion shaking the ground and causing the three remaining ponies to loose their balances and fall to the ground. With the dust and debris off, it looked up at the moon, and smiled.

A large foot came hopping out of the trees as the other three got up and stared at the massive Pie.

“Uh, guys...” Berry began.

“RUN!” shouted Colgate as she turned and headed to the bridge. The others fell in line as they made their way across.

The gargantuan Pony of Pink began to giggle. “Run!? It rhymes with FUN!” it shouted as it bent its knees, preparing to jump.

“WATCH OUT!” shouted Colgate as she dove for the floor of the bridge.

And with one mighty heave, the pink one launched itself high into the air, causing a powerful updraft. It pulled up many large chunks of castle with it and several trees. It even yanked the bridge out of the ground, sending it flying through the air, casing the three ponies to shout in alarm as they became airborne. Colgate watched as the Pink giant arched through the air and landed on the other side of the ravine that the bridge had once crossed, and watched as the ground underneath cracked and the cliff crumble from the impact. It also sent out a giant gust of air that knocked the bridge even higher into the air and caused even more dust to spread over the hapless Everfree.

It also knocked the poor ponies free of the bridge, scattering them in the air.

On the bright side, it turns out that winged feet happen to be rather fast in the air. You'd never think it, but it turns out that feet are great for flying through it. Aerodynamic, lightweight, and surprisingly nimble, they make for the perfect rescue device. Pity it was that this foot was a terrible pilot.

Lyra did not have much flying experience you see. Having been a unicorn for her whole life, she left flying to the pegasus ponies. In fact, the only flying she ever did was in the basket of a hot-air balloon, let alone flying as a foot with wings. So, after kicking a few trees, weathering a few shockwaves, and faceplanting (can a foot faceplant?) into the ground a few times, Lyra finally got into the air in time to see the other three go flying off the bridge.

Moving swiftly, she grabbed Colgate first (she being the closest), holding her between her big toe and the next one over. She quickly made her way over to Bon-Bon and grabbed her between the pinkie toe and its neighbor. Finally, she grabbed Berry (who's muzzle had come a bit too close to the ground for comfort by the time Lyra had gotten to him) by simply scooping him up and setting him across the top. She had not expected him to be as heavy as he was. It would would seem that his rather Coltly bulk was very much real and very much heavy. Still, she had manged to save the lot of them, and made to set safely set down.

“A FLYING FOOT! THAT'S SO FUNNY!” belted the behemoth. It began to laugh and it reached out to grab them.

Lyra let out a squeak and dodged sharply to the left to avoid the massive hoof. The sudden maneuver nearly caused Berry to fall off.

“LYRA!” he shouted.

“SORRY! I'M STILL GETTING USED TO THIS!” the foot shouted back, though exactly how nopony was really sure.

The colossus chortled and brought its leg back to its side. “AW! COME ON! LET'S PLAY!” It bellowed. “IT'LL BE,” it paused for a moment, “FUN!” and with that it hopped up and down shouting 'FUN' over and over again. Lyra tried her best to put as much distance between them and the giant fun factory as she could, flying as fast as her wings could carry her. “HOLD UP BUSTER!” the giant shouted, “YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!” Lyra looked back, and saw it leap once more into the air and directly at her. It flew through the air with amazing speed, enough to leave a huge pink trial in the air behind it. Lyra couldn't help but notice that its already massive face suddenly started to get a whole lot bigger.

“Guys,” Lyra started, “We're in trouble...” she said, awaiting the massive face-to-foot impact.

“GIANT PINK ONE, YOUR REIGN IS OVER! I HAVE COME TO PUSH YOU-ARG I HAVE LOST MY ABILITY TO RHYME!” came a powerful shout, followed by a blast of energy that hit the pink giant in the face, knocking it to the side and sending it plowing into the ground.

Looking up, the poor hapless adventures saw something quite unexpected. Silhouetted against the moon, with a smoking horn and a pair of massive yet majestic wings, Zecora hovered in the air with an aura of power surrounding her.

“ZECORA!” came the collected shouts from the little band. One part of them relieved, another very confused.

“Your strange brew had a taste most foul, but the power it give me is quite …” she paused, her face contorting into a rather painful looking shape, “I can't rhyme! Try as I might, I just can't seem to do it! But now it not the time to be complaining, for I have a giant Pinkie to get to … knocking around!” She said, taking a dive directly for the massive beast.

She swerved to the left as a massive hoof came flying up at her. She dropped to avoid yet another, and she pulled up to avoid a third hoof that came her direction. The four caught her by surprise, but with quicker thinking then she normally possessed, she too dodged that one. The fifth and sixth hooves came rather close, with the wind from the one nearly knocking her face-first into the other one. However, Zecora was quicker then the giant she now faced. Getting close, she unleashed another blast to its torso, knocking it back, and sending a spray of Pinkies all around her.

It's safe to say that anypony else would have thought this to be truly strange, but Zecora was no longer operating on a plane that mere mortal ponies could understand. She knew that the giant was little more then the numberless Pinkies hugging each other, and she knew that each Pinkie was little more then an enchanted piece of hair from the real Pinkie Pie given a body and limited thought. And she knew one more thing;

It was all because of that brew …

Still, this threat to the Everfree (and Equestria for that matter!) had to be dealt with, and with that determination in her mind, she began blasting the Pinkies that fell away with great speed. There were a great many of them, and given that the giant had recovered from the blast and had begun swinging at her once more, the task of reducing the lot of them to a pile of hairs seemed daunting indeed. But she was Zecora! The great survivor of the Everfree, the Pilgrim of Talhet, the Great Graiol-Ralshin, the-her thoughts were cut off as a massive hoof caught her from above and began driving her to the ground. Aiming her oversized horn at the dirt, she blasted it to powder just before she hit. With a loud crash, the leg hit the ground, but Zecroa was far from hurt. Unleashing a mighty blast, she knocked the hoof off her and blew even more Pinkies off. Several quick shots and a burst of speed later, she cleared the skies and avoided yet another swing.

She had not anticipated the mouth however. It bit down on her tail as she flew up, and with a twist of the giant's neck, sent her flying to a thicket of trees. Surrounding herself in a shield, she hit the trees hard. A few snapped in half from the blow, and she had little time to dodge as the giant came crashing down where she landed. Sill, it was enough and she darted out from harm's way as it landed its sudden jump, reducing the trees to itty bitty splinters, save one. Zecora whipped around, horn aglow, and launched a tree directly at the mighty Pinkie. With the swing of one hoof, it easily batted the tree aside.

Perfect.

With a mighty burst, and a small explosion, Zecora rocketed from her position and drove directly for the hulking behemoth. Her horn glowed with an intense black and white light and the energy began to envelop her as she dove faster and faster. With a second hoof, the Pinkie-Monster tried to knock her away, but Zecora was faster then any hoofswipe could have ever dreamed to be.

She slammed right into its chest. And with momentum that would have leveled a mountain, she lifted it off the ground and went flying high into the air, the massive creature still on the tip of her horn. Higher and higher she took it, all the way to the clouds. Whipping her head to the side, she detached her horn from the beast, and flew around it to the air above it. Black and white energy crackling and tearing about her, she raised her horn high into the air and shouted, “FROM ONE TO MANY AND FROM MANY TO ONE IT MATTERS NOT, FOR I SHALL MAKE YOU … OH SCREW IT!!” Gathering all of the energy around her, she encased herself in a sphere, then looking down, she unleashed the unbridled force of her power.

The explosion from around Zecora lit up the entire night sky and, for just a moment, one could have sworn it was mid-day. The sphere flew from Zecora and slammed into the giant and sent it almost instantly to the ground with a mighty smash. Before the giant could even comprehend what had just happened, a second sphere hit it with full force and another blinding explosion.

The Castle of the Two Sisters was no more.

Zecora had thrown the giant onto it, and with the second attack, had turned the whole area into a massive crater. Heaving and breathing heavily, Zecora wavered some in the air. She tilted slightly to the left and slightly to the right. Her eyes went white, and she fell out of the sky …

Thankfully, the friendly feathered foot was still around (though struck with awe like the other ponies) to carefully snag her out of the air.

Walking to the edge of the crater, Colgate and Berry looked in. Bon-Bon had stayed behind to help place Zecora carefully on the ground. It was deep and it was wide. The dirt was charred and in the center of it all, lie a pile of pink hairs. Looking at each other then forward once more, they made their way over to the pile. It was rather odd looking; to see such a bright splash of color in the middle of charred ground.

It moved.

Or more accurately, it shook slightly. The movement caused the two ponies to jump back all the same. They watched it for a moment. The pile rustled a little. The two looked at each other once more.

“Pinkie?” Berry ventured.

And, almost as if in reply, a small, quarter-sized Pinkie popped out of the pile. It looked a them, and then booked it.

“COME BACK HERE!” Colgate shouted, and magically reached out for Berry's bottle. Or rather, she assumed that Berry has his bottle on hoof. He didn't actually, so that left Colgate's magic few options as to what to grab instead. Suffice to say, one rather large Berry projectile turned out to be a bit overkill for taking care of one last pint-sized Pinkie. With a loud thud and a soft pop, the last Pinkie finally poofed into a small piece of hair. “Sorry Berry!” Colgate shouted.

“It's fine!” He shouted back, getting up. Looking at where he had landed, he picked up the last hair, and made his way over to Colgate. Picking it with her magic she placed it into the pile.

It began to glow.

And it also began to move. The pile lifted off the ground and formed a tight ball that began to lift into the air. The ball began to glow, almost too bright to look at, and it suddenly began to expand. The hairs began to swirl about as they moved outward, forming a chaotic sphere of hair. From inside the ball, they could see the source of light: It was a pony-shaped figure. It was upright, with its lower legs hanging down and its upper legs raised in what almost seemed like a meditative stance. It almost looked like it was standing on its hind legs. A bight circle appeared above the sphere. Within the circle were many odd symbols and shapes, the likes of which neither pony had ever seen before. The circle moved from above the figure to behind the figure, and expanded in size. So too had the swirling sphere had increased in size, allowing the figure in the center to become slightly more visible. Within the figure's radiance only became greater as it raised its arms up into the air. Then, it suddenly threw back its head and thrust out its arms to the sides, and a blast of energy washed over the two of them, as well as the whole crater, leaving in its wake colorful flowers and what appeared to be candy. Once their eyes readjusted, what they saw simply stunned them.

Hovering in the air, was Pinkie Pie. She opened her eyes, looked at them, and smiled. “Hiya!” she said, her voice reverberating with power.

It took several moments for either of them to say anything. She looked like … they simply didn't have the words. It was Pinkie alright, but none of the malice that the Pinkies had was in her eyes. She hovered in the air, and what seemed like a circle of power hovered behind her, and yet, there was no horn nor wings. She also glowed with a soft yet powerful pink light. Though they had no idea what she was, they knew it was something mighty indeed.

“Uh...” Berry managed.

Pinkie giggled. “That's not a word silly!”

“Pinkie?” Colgate asked.

“Yep! That's me!” she replied with a happy smile.

“W-what in Equestria … ?” Colgate asked.

“Oh? This? Oh don't you worry your little hooves about it! I've just become a Goddess for a short time!” she said, almost laughing.

“A what?” Berry said.

“Don't worry about it. Anyway, I've got something to tell you!” she said, almost squealing with delight.

“What's that?” Colgate asked.

“Well, since YOU'RE the one who put me back together, I get to grant you one wish!” Pinkie said pointing at Colgate.

Colgate blinked. Seriously? “Wait, a wish?”

“Well, that's easy.” Berry piped up, “she wants to have the Lost Toothbrush of The-”

“I want to know where the Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters is!” Colgate cut him off with.

Berry looked at her confused, but said nothing.

“Okey Dokey!” Pinkie replied. She put her front hooves together, and slowly opened them, revealing a scroll. “Here ya go!” she said happily as she tossed it to Colgate. “Don't lose it! Though it'll just stay with you until you get there! Oh, and one last thing!” she winked at them, “it's a tough scroll don't worry too much about it!”

Colgate caught it with her magic and opened it. It looked like a map of Equestria with a big red 'X' in the south-east part of Hayseed Swamp. As she looked closely at it, the map suddenly changed and zoomed in on that part of the swamp. In doing so however, it startled Colgate who dropped it. Getting herself back together, she picked it up and set it on her back for the moment.

“Well, that's about it for me! Time to go back to being normal again! Weeeee!” Pinkie said as she became enveloped in light. The circle disappeared and she slowly descended to the ground. Once all four hooves touched, the light dispersed and she stood there, looking as normal as Pinkie Pie does. “Well, see ya later!” and with that she bounced off.

Neither Colgate or Berry could quite bring themselves to stop her, or even speak. What had just happened? Once again looking at each other, they exchanged very confused looks.

“Are you guys alright?” Bon-Bon's distant voice broke their reverie. Looking behind them, they saw her standing at the edge of the crater, looking rather confused at all of the flowers.

“Yeah,” Berry shouted back. “We're alright.”

“How's Zecora?” Colgate shouted as the two of them made to head back.

“She's alright. Her wings and horn are shrinking, so I think she'll be fine.” came the answer.

“And Lyra?”

“You mean the pillow Zecroa's using? Yeah, I guess she's 'fine' too!” came the rather annoyed and slightly indignant reply.

As they crested the top, they could see Zecora resting peacefully, using a light-green pillow that was patterned with golden lyres to rest her head. “So, is it over?” Bon-Bon asked.

“I think so.” Said Colgate. “At least, I hope so.” Then she stopped.

“What's up?” Berry asked.

Turning to face him, Colgate's eyes burned once more with fury. Berry swallowed hard. There was no running this time. “W-what did I do Colgate!? Why are you so mad at me?” Berry asked, taking a few steps back from her.

Colgate advanced slightly quicker then Berry's retreat. “Why? Why you ask? I'll TELL YOU WHY!” She roared as she lunged at him, with tears in her eyes.

Berry was caught off guard by those tears, and thus was unable to defend himself from the Colgatian assault. She slammed into him and knocked him over. “YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M SO MAD? WHY I'M SO UPSET?” Colgate shouted in Berry's face.

All Berry could do was weakly nod.

“Because I'm so scared for you! That's why!” her tears began to flow freely, landing on the ground. “I was so scared, and I'm so worried about you Berry! Don't you get it? You're my friend and the fact that you drink so much scares me! The fact that you don't brush scares me! And the idea of you drinking that horrible drink scares me even more! What if you end up stuck like this? And look at what that drink's done! Berry, don't you get it?! I care so much about you! I just don't want you to get hurt!” she was almost unable to say that last part, as her voice had begun to crack and fall to pieces.

Berry was silent. He had no idea that Colgate had felt this strongly about all of this. He had always figured that Colgate came over to her place because she didn't have anything better to do. After all, Colgate never drank anything. She would just come over and chat and occasionally share a meal. Sure they did things together from time to time, but even then he figured that was because she just wanted some compony or something like that. Though, looking back on it, it all finally kinda made sense. He knew how badly his house smelled, and yet Colgate would come. He was often intoxicated on some level, and yet Colgate would still come. Now that he thought about it, it dawned on him. She was indeed a friend to him. With this thought, he too began to choke up.

“Alright Colgate. I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt like that. I'll...I'll turn back. And … and I'll get rid of the drink.” he said, his voice heavy. He really didn't want to get rid of it, but he figured that she was more important. She had made so many sacrifices just to spend time with him, it was about time he start making sacrifices for her. Standing up, he brought the bottle to his lips. “I found out that if I drink it again, I change back. So I have to drink it one more time.” He explained. And with that, he took his final swig.

The transformation didn't take long. His legs shrank first and then his torso. His head was last and finally, his chin rounded and he was once more a her. Pulling it away from her lips, Berry looked at Colgate, tears in her eyes now as well. They reach out to each other and hugged.

“Thank you Berry.” Colgate whispered. “Thank You...”

The fallout from the whole event was actually rather small. Not long after the small party departed from the spot to continue on their journey, Rainbow had shown up to investigate the massive explosions and loud lights that had rocked Ponyville all night. All she had found was Zecora resting and a strange flower-filled crater where the Sister's castle (as well as the ravine) was. Having had arrived before her other friends, she began scouting around to see what had become of the Tree. As she had begun to look around, she saw a small tree sprout in the middle of the area. Watching, she had watched it grow from a small sapling into the very Tree of Harmony itself. Now no longer hidden in a cave, it was surrounded by a field of flowers. AJ, Rarity, and a few others from Ponyville had finally caught up with her, with Pinkie in tow. They had run into her leaving as they were making their way in.

They had asked her what had happened, and she told them everything, word for word. However, they had simply shook their heads and didn't take much stock in her crazy story. Even after Zecora had awoken and she too had been asked, they still found Pinkie's story simply too crazy to be true; for Zecora had no real memory of the event. So, with more questions then answers, they had headed home.

Little had they realized that Zecora had lied to them. And little had the little band realized that she had begun to follow after them...

Author's Note

Organically, I had written in a 4th wall joke that Pinkie Pie had made. But I didn't like it so I cut it out, burned it, made a brick from the ashes, build an insane asylum with it, let said asylum become abandoned as well as haunted, purged it with fire, burned it to the ground, snorted the ashes, rode the unicorns, conquered candy mountain, para-sailed across the mother-loving rainbow, opened the door to the universe, and woke up with one too many kidneys in my left arm.

So, in short, I got rid of it.

I also had originally started this note with "originally", but the spell check suggested "Organically" and I felt it too silly to not run with.

Chapter One, Part Ten

Part 10

The castle was something that Colgate would not soon forget. While it was true that something wonderful had come of it, for Berry made a point of throwing that bottle away, the whole experience had left her feeling quite a bit rattled. After all, it wasn't everyday that you got lost in ancient labyrinths (amid the sounds of endless giggling none-the-less!), encountered an army of Pinkie Pies (save that one day, but Colgate preferred to not think about it. Let's just say that a few of them had decided that Novocaine felt funny and used her whole supply to rather … comical if not disturbing effect), got knocked unconscious while surrounded with crumbling walls, get dusted with a duster that later became a magical flying-whatever that was, watch an Alicorn Zebra battle a Pinkie of monstrous size, and then have a wish granted by a Magical Pink Pony Goddess.

Well, not everyday for Colgate anyway. Given some of the stories that Princess Twilight (she still wasn't quite used to saying that yet) told her of the things her and her friends have gone through, it wouldn't surprise her if events like the castle were a drop in the bucket for them. But not Colgate! Oh no! She was very, very, VERY happy living the simple life of a quiet (if not frustrating at times) dentist in a small town. A small town that happened to now contain a castle in addition to a Princess...

The thought made her pause. Perhaps she should move. With the appearance of the castle, she wondered if things would only get more busy and if the town would only get bigger. Nah, Ponyville was a fine place to live … even if it always somehow managed to be the center of trouble. Most of the time, it was a pretty boring place to live. Nothing too exciting happened, save the odd world-ending event. Thankfully however, the Princess and her friends were always on hoof to help out. Actually, thinking about it, living in the same town as those 6 might not be a half-bad idea after all. Sure, Ponyville somehow managed to be the center of trouble, but she felt safe knowing that those 6 would be close-by when (not if, when) things suddenly turn south.

She let out a sigh, and a small smile crossed her lips. She had been gazing at the night sky. It was a nice night, now that all that was over. Her thoughts had been drifting ever since the little group had settled down in a lovely clearing. The other three had all fallen asleep. Lyra and Bon-Bon had settled near each other, with Bon-Bon's hoof subconsciously shoving itself into Lyra's mouth from time to time to stifle her occasional, and rather loud, snoring. Berry had settled closer to Colgate, and had also begun to snore softly, but not nearly as loud as when she had been a stallion. Colgate however had a bit more trouble falling asleep. Not because she wasn't tired you see. Both mind and body were very ready for rest. But she had wanted to mill things over in her mind a bit. That, and she had wanted to gaze at the stars.

They were simply lovely. Colgate always loved the way they shined like little fireflies in the sky. They've always captivated her and always cause her to feel like a little filly again. They filled her with that wonder and innocent joy of youth. She never considered herself to be an astronomer, or even a night pony. That said, she spent many a late night as a filly simply staring at the night sky. She had actually memorized many, if not most, of the constellations in the sky. Most of that knowledge, however, had been lost over the years of studying to be a dentist.

She had been sad to see it go, but there were more practical things to fill her head with. Things like understanding the structure of the muzzle and what teeth were made of. She had to learn how to use the various tools and techniques for treatment and prevention. She even decided to dabble a bit in surgery. In short, it was a lot to learn and shove into one's head, so something had to end up getting pushed out. Not to mention the part where her particular school decided that a graduation requirement was memorization of all common, and even several uncommon, conditions and their applicable treatments.

They had been hard, grueling years. Long days and all but sleepless nights. Still, it had been those wonderful stars that had seen her through those crazy days. When she felt stressed, overwhelmed, or simply discouraged, she somehow always manged to find some strength from the stars. They brought her peace. Whenever she needed to think, she would always walk outside and look up (save when it was the day, for the sun's a bit bright to be star-gazing at, though technically speaking one would indeed be gazing at a star).

And thinking is exactly what she needed to do right now. With all that had happened, she began to wonder if this journey would be worth it. She began to wonder if this would prove to be too dangerous. True, what had happened had happened because of that drink Berry had brought (which she had thrown far into the forest), but she felt that this whole thing would prove to be more dangerous then she had thought. She wasn't a fighter. Neither was Berry, and Bon-Bon's commando days were long behind her (Well, if you believe the rumors anyway. She's always denied that she served under Princess Celestia, much less was a commando of some kind, but the rumors insisted that she was covering it all up. However, rumor also had it that Lyra was secretly three ponies in one, and that Berry was immune to food poisoning and had super mutant powers). And as far as she knew (if she was ignoring the rumors) Lyra was, for all her energies and eccentric (if not reckless) behavior, was about as peaceful a pony as they come. In short: What were they going to do if any sort of real danger came across them?

She rolled onto her side, her thoughts continuing to drift aimlessly around in her head. They went from 'what are we going to do after we find the brush, IF we find the brush?' to 'I wonder if the stars have mouths? And if they do, how do they brush them?' Without any clear path or meaning they floated about in her head, bumping into each other and blending together like globs of floating paint. Slowly the thoughts became harder and hard to focus, and her eyes became heavier and heavier. Finally, sleep came...

Which really was quite unfortunate.

End of Chapter One

Author's Note

And so Chapter One reaches its conclusion, under the starry sky. Luna's lovely, lovely sky. So rich...so dark...so alluring...

Don't you agree? I mean, look at all those sparkly lights! But that's beside the point, is it not?

And so Chapter Two will soon follow.

And so I offer my humble and sincere gratitude for those of you who have followed this nonsensical journey thus far. And I will admit, it was quite a bit of silly fun to type this silly story.

Chapter Two, Part Two

“ARE YOU INSANE?” Berry shouted.

Lyra's smile only grew wider at the accusation. “Nope!” she said, as cheery as could be.

“But-but-but how?!” Berry stuttered. Her face ripe with disbelief and a bit of fear.

“Well, first we get a couple of trees, cross them over the tracks like a big X, then we make a stretchy rope out of bark...” as Lyra spoke, Bon-Bon walked onto the tracks and began pacing up and down them. It seemed as if she was feeling them, pausing occasionally to look at something in thought. “...and once the train's almost all the way through, we release the rope and we go flying through the air and BAM! We land right on top of the train!” She finished with a rather smug smile on her face, and her front and back left legs crossed in front of her right legs. If you colored her orange and gave her a cowpony hat, you might almost think it was Applejack standing there.

Berry's jaw swung loose. “Are...are you serious?”

“Yep!” Lyra cheerily replied.

“No, not this time Lyra.” Bon-Bon said. Lyra turned to her and began to pout. Bon-Bon however had her back to her and didn't notice. “We're doing The Jump.” she said as she gave a light kick to one of the rails.

Lyra's expression changed on a bit. Once more she was as happy and excited as could be, but then paused. “Do I really have to worry about the spikes again?” she said somewhat apprehensively.

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes, “Yes,” she said as she turned around (careful to remember Colgate; she didn't want to flip her out of the carrier by accident), “you do. It's one of the most important parts, remember?”

Berry looked between the two thoroughly confused. What in Equestria were they talking about? Jump? Spikes? What exactly did these two have planned, and why did it seem like they'd done this before?

“Let's start it back here Lyra, and let's start at a 3 degree angle. I want it to end about...” she took several steps forward. “Here. And I want it to be about a 33 to 35 degree angle here.” She paused, looking along the right side of the track. “And I want two rocks at point 1, four at point 2, and finally I want eight at point 3. You got all that?” She said as she turned once more to face Lyra.

“... two at 1, four at 2, and eight at 3. Got it!” she replied.

“Good, now help me with these spikes real quick, we don't have much time.” she said, as she bent her head down to the tracks, and with a hard yank, pulled one of the railroad spikes out of the track.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?” Berry screamed as she rushed to put an end to Bon-Bon's sudden and apparent (to Berry anyway) madness.

Bon-Bon spit the spike to the side, where Lyra caught it with her magic and put it carefully off to the side. “We're taking spikes out.” she said as she lowered her head to another one.

“THAT'S INSANE! What if the train jumps the tracks!?” Berry said, stomping a hoof onto the spike Bon-Bon was about to grab.

Pausing, Bon-Bon looked at her hoof for a moment. “That's exactly what we want. Now please move your hoof, I need to pull that spike.” She said, as she reached out a foreleg and gently pushed Berry's hoof aside.

“Can you at least explain to me what's going to happen? Why are you trying to derail the train?” Berry pleaded. This seemed more and more insane. Yank. Out came another spike, which was also tossed off to the side where it was caught once more by Lyra, and carefully placed next to the other spike.

“We're not derailing the train.” Was all Bon-Bon said. Berry looked on helplessly, but she could tell that Bon-Bon would say no more. She looked over to Lyra, who was busy lining up the spikes Bon-Bon pulled out, as well as grabbing the rocks that Bon-Bon had instructed her to grab. Berry watched as the two seemed to work in a practiced harmony. It didn't take long before a nice pile of spikes began to pile up along the side.

During that time however, Berry decided to take a quick look around. It struck her as a good idea to take in the surroundings. Behind her lie the Everfree, as dark and foreboding as ever. It even had those weird sounds that came from it from time to time. Which sounds, she relized, had begun to accompany the rather rhythmic progress of the other two. On the other side of the tracks was plains. As far as she could see. At the very edge she thought she could see some distant hills. But that was about all there was. Forest on the one side of the tracks, and plains on the other. She knew that somewhere south of her was Appleloosa, though how far and which direction exactly she couldn't tell. She had been there once, she thought. It was kinda a blur, but she was pretty sure she remembered Buffalo and something about Mild-West dances. Right! The salt! She had gone there for the Salt Block! She had heard that their salt licks packed a mighty fine punch! And where there was punch, there was Berry!

That thought made her giggle. She wouldn't mind a bit of punch right about now. She was mighty thirsty.

SCREEEEEEE~~~

Her thoughts were interrupted by a terrible noise that make her skin crawl and her ears recoil in pain. In response, she reflexively shut her eyes, and plugged her poor ears with her hooves. The sound continued for several moments then stopped. She then dared to take a peak.

Bon-Bon walked out from under a set of bent tracks. One end was still attached to the ground, the other simply ended in the air. Berry blinked. The tracks had been bent upwards, at a gradual slope. She watched as Lyra placed two rocks under the tracks at where the bend began, one under each rail. Then she stacked the four rocks into two piles, and placed them just a little further from the other rocks. Finally, she grabbed the last eight rocks and created two columns that supported the end of the upturned tracks. Then it finally dawned on her.

They had turned the track in to a ramp.

“W-Wh...” Berry was speechless. She tried to object, but she simply couldn't muster the words to do it. “ARE. YOU. IN-SANE!?!” Berry bellowed. Bon-Bon and Lyra looked over at her with expressions of curiosity, almost as if they couldn't quite figure out what she was talking about. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?”

“We bent the track.” Bon-Bon replied in a matter-of-fact kind of voice.

“WHY?!” Berry shouted, her booming voice becoming rough from the constant shouting.

Bon-Bon simply blinked and looked at her. Lyra, however looked as if something just clicked. “Hey Bon-Bon, I don't think she gets it. I'd guess she hasn't seen a Train Jump before.”

Bon-Bon looked back at Lyra then again at Berry, who's face was something between shock, horror, and anger. Then it finally clicked. Berry didn't quite get what was going on, so it makes sense she would be a bit upset. Holding a hoof up, she said, “Alright. Calm down. So this is what's going to happen.” she paused, looking down the tracks to where the train should be coming from. “We don't have much time, so I'll give you the short version. Basically, you, Lyra, and I will all stand on the other side of the ramp. When the train hits it, it's going to fly over our heads. I'm going to reach up and grab the underside, and so will Lyra. We then will both grab you, and then swing ourselves out from under the train before it lands on the tracks again, and in through a window. At which point we will take our seats and pay for our tickets. Any questions?”

Berry simply stood there in silence. 'How do you know this is going to work?' 'Where did you learn this?' 'How many times have you done this?!' All of these questions and several more began running through her head, faster then her frozen mouth could respond. Ultimately, two questions finally made their way out.

“One: Do you have anything to drink, 'cause I think I might need some for this. And two: Are you sure you were never a commando?” Berry asked.

Bon-Bon's hoof smacked with her face with a loud thud. “Yes,” she said with an exasperated voice, “for the millionth time, I've never even been in the military, or served under the Princess, or even seen real action. And no, I don't. That's usually your department Berry.” she paused, looking once more down the tracks. “Train's coming. Everypony in position!” she shouted and headed over to the ramp.

A train. They were going to make a train jump a ramp. The very thought of that almost made Berry turn around and head back to Ponyville. After all, there was no way all of this could be real. So she figured she would just leave these two crazy ponies to their insane plan and eventually wake up or something. Perhaps she already had a drink or two dozen and somepony was telling her a great story and she was living it in her drunken mind or something. This was simply too insane to be real. But yet, here she was, staring at an upturned track, and three ponies waiting for her under the ramp. Wait. Three ponies...

COLGATE! Berry almost forgot about her and ran to join the other two. “What about Colgate?” she asked as she joined them. She noticed that Lyra's horn was glowing and that her eyes were shut in intense concentration.

“She'll be fine. I'll be carrying both of you for the most part. Lyra will be there mostly to make sure we end up going through a window and not the wall.” Bon-Bon responded.

“What's she doing?” Berry asked, or rather, started to ask. “Wh-” was about as far as she got when suddenly she heard the train hit the ramp. The sound of the groaning tracks and the sounds of the massive engine drowned out her words. And time seemed to suddenly crawl to all but a stand-still.

She watched as Bon-Bon waited for just a moment, watching the front of the train pass overhead. Bon-Bon reached out and grabbed her with one hoof, and reached up and grabbed an axle with the other. Lyra too grabbed both Berry and axle, but also brought to her side the railroad spikes the two of them had pulled out. With a kick from both Lyra and Bon-Bon's back legs, and with the momentum of the train pulling her, Bon-Bon lifted both Berry, and Colgate, out from under the car.

The next thing Berry could recall was suddenly finding herself lying in an aisle between several seats in a train car. Looking left and right, she saw ponies of all kinds sitting and staring at her in confusion. Off in the back of the car she could hear a small child. “BEOLD!” the child cried, its voice as adorable could be, “I IS DA GAITH AND POWAPUL TRIKZI! UU HAVE NO CHANCE RADBOW GASH!”

She got to her hooves, took another glance around, and saw Bon-Bon sitting in a set of seats next to her as if everything was normal. She had Colgate peacefully leaning up next to her, looking as though she was taking a nap. Berry cleared her throat, smiled sheepishly, and then sat next to Bon-Bon. In the distance, the child continued. It would seem that Rainbow was in for a truly epic battle.

“Where's Lyra?” she whispered.

“Putting the spikes back in.” She replied, as if such an answer was mundane and perfectly normal.

“Huh? How?” Berry asked, even more confused then before.

Bon-Bon gave a little tired sigh. “Right, I did slip a little and you did get hit, didn't you?” She said, looking slightly disappointed. Now that she mentioned it, Berry suddenly felt a horrid headache hit her like a … well … like a train. She groaned in pain and leaned back in her seat, holding her head in her hooves. She suddenly wondered if this was how Colgate felt after she got knocked about. If so, suddenly Berry felt very, very sorry for all those Colgate-shaped impressions on her walls.

“Wh-ow-at happ-ouch-end?” Berry managed to ask.

“Well, the way it normally works is like this: I pull Lyra up, and she uses her magic to both carry the spikes, and to nudge the engine if it looks like it's going to land wrong. I grab the underside of the first passenger car that passes over, and swing up and around and through an open window. Lyra again uses her magic to either open a window or nudge me if I'm just a hoof or so off from one that's already open. As I get into the window, I use the rest of the momentum from the swing-” Bon-Bon's voice was somewhat painful to listen to, as the headache was becoming worse.

“Wait. You guys have done this before? How? Ow! When? Why!?” Berry interjected.

“-to heave Lyra onto the top of the car.” She continued, practically ignoring Berry. “From there she runs down along the train until the weight of the train presses the rails back down to the ground. Then, she shoots the spikes back into the spots where we pulled them out from. By the time she's done, it looks like nothing ever happened to the tracks.” Bon-Bon's voice had the sound of somepony who'd explained this sort of thing over and over and over again. It was clear that both of them had done this several times before.

Now, Berry was no physicist, but that all seemed like a bit of a stretch. “That...ow...doesn't makes sense...”

Bon-Bon shrugged. “That's how it works. In speaking of which...” she turned to the window and opened it, and with a motion smoother then silk, Lyra slid in and sat next to Berry as if nothing had happened.

“Hey guys. The ticket pony come by yet?” she asked, sounding somewhat winded.

“Not yet.” Bon-Bon said.

“Ah rats. I'm gonna have to pay again an't I?” Lyra's face dropped. Bon-Bon simply nodded. “Oh well.” Lyra shrugged. “Could be worse I suppose.”

Berry found herself very confused by all of this. She needed a drink, stat. Almost on cue, the doors to in the back of the car slid open, and they head a clear voice call, “Tickets Please!” Looking up, Berry could see a train worker making her way up the aisle. She had on a simple uniform. Blue hat with yellow trim, and a nice jacket that had the same colors. In a pocket on the front she could see tickets poking out in a neat and orderly way. As she made her way up the aisle, she punched holes in passenger's tickets and occasionally pulled out a ticket, handed it to a passenger, and then collected their bits in a nice sack she kept attached to her side. As she made her way to the seats where Bon-Bon, Lyra, Berry, and Sleepygate all sat, she gave a pleasantly cheery smile and said, “Tickets Please!”

“We're buying them here.” Lyra said, producing a few bits.

“Where're you headed?” she asked, as she pulled out four tickets.

“Dodge Junction.” Lyra said.

“Is this all together?” The ticket pony asked.

Lyra sighed, “Yeah...”

The train pony punched a few holes in the tickets and handed them to Lyra, who took them and handed the bits over. Taking the bits, the Ticket pony placed them in her little sack and turned around to the other set of seats. “Tickets Please!” she said once more.

Lyra grumbled a little. “Yeah, jumping a train is a ton of fun, but stallion does it take a lot of work! Not to mention I usually have pick up the bill.” Bon-Bon gave her a look, as if to remind her of something. “Look, I'm not complaining, I'm just … uh … talking. Yeah.” she seemed suddenly a bit sheepish.

Berry would have pried further into this, but her head was in no shape for taking in information. Booze, yes. Information, no. Seeing as how that wasn't a possibility, the only choice she had left was to sink into her seat and moan with pain.

The train made its way along the tracks quite nicely. Making a fine pace, it seemed much like any other run along the rough and tumble frontier of Equestria. Hour after hour passed peacefully. And that's exactly what made the train crew begin to feel nervous. Normally, by this point, they would have had a run-in with something. Perhaps a stray critter (or monster for that matter) from the Everfree, or perhaps an irate Buffalo, or at worse … Bandits. So the fact that nothing had happened as the tracks began to pull away from the Everfree and head into solid plains, put the entire crew on edge. It wouldn't be long until the plains would give way to dried dirt. And if nothing happened by then...

And still the train went on. Hour after peaceful hour. The grass began to thin, and soon it would disappear all together. The conductor began pacing back and forth, stopping occasionally to look ahead or from side to side, as if expecting something to jump out at any second. This of course did little to help calm the nerves of the other crew members, who too began looking and pacing about.

The last of the grass finally vanished, and now all that lay around them was dusty dirt. It would be just under an hour before they reached Dodge. It was killing them. Why hadn't anything happened yet? Where was the trouble? There was always trouble on this route. Where was it!?

It would be just about 30 minutes until they reached Dodge.

“AAHH!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” The conductor shouted. “MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THE TERRIBLE SUSPENSE ST-”

BOOM

A loud explosion from ahead of the train blew dust high into the air and cut the conductor's cries off. The air around it filled with dust and smoke. If the train went in there, they wouldn't be able to see more then a few hooves in front of them!

Pity it is that train tracks only go one direction (well, ok, two, but that's not the point!).

And so, directly into the thick cloud the train went, causing dust to fill the engine car. It all but blinded the crew. The dust quickly filled the fuel room as well, blinding the poor coal-shoveling pony (as if their lot in life wasn't bad enough).

Several more explosions went off along the tracks, all of them ahead of the engine. The dust got thicker and more and more of the train became swallowed by the cloud. The crew could hear the cries of the poor hapless passengers as the dust began to fill the cars.

Needless to say, all of this only made poor Berry's headache worse.

The three of them began to cough as dust filled their lungs. Bon-Bon reached to shut the window, but was suddenly stopped. Peering through the dust to see why, she saw a set of talons holding it open. Then there was a face. Though part of it was wrapped in a cloth, it was unmistakably a griffin.

“Oh no no no! You can't close this! I need in!” It said, as it slid the window open to its fullest. Reaching a talon out to a very surprised Bon-Bon, it pushed her aside (knocking her over the back of her seat) and looked around. Lyra, reacting somewhat quickly began to focus on her horn. “Nope, none of that!” the griffon said. In one smooth movement, almost too fast to see, it produced a small cloth that it threw on her horn. The glow of her magic suddenly disappeared. Her eyes shot open for a moment then went blank as she fell to the side. She was out like a light. It then darted its eyes around the car, clearly looking for something. “Rats! Well, don't want to leave empty clawed I guess.” It looked down at Berry, then over at the still sleeping Colgate. “This'll work!” it said with excited eyes as it reached out and grabbed her, and with surprising strength, lifted her up and out through the window. “Ta ta!” it said as it made its way out of the window and out of sight.

“COLGATE!” Berry shouted. Then stumbled. Between her being unable to breath, and the fact that her head was splitting in two (or it sure felt like it) she found herself unable to keep her balance. If only she had a drink! If only...

**tink**

She heard a soft sound nest to her. It sounded like the sound of glass hitting the floor. She looked over. She saw a bottle. But it wasn't any bottle.

It was that that bottle.

Berry paused. What should she do? She had made a promise. But it looked like she was the only one who could do anything. Wha-her thoughts were suddenly ripped asunder by pain. Tears in her eyes, she looked down at it again. She paused. Then she reached out, and grabbed it...

Author's Note

And the question is: What will she do?

Chapter Two, Part Three

Author's Note

I was feeling productive, so here's the next part:

Chapter Two, Part Three

Chapter Two: Part Three

… And she threw it out the window. She had made a promise, blast it! And she wasn't about to break it! So, clenching her teeth, and waving the dust away from her face as best as she could, she stood and looked over the seat to help Bon-Bon. In getting knocked over, she had hit her head on another seat, and Berry could see little stars swirling in the air above her head (and in her eyes as well). Well, thankfully she was alright, more or less. The question now was, what could she do? Bon-Bon was knocked out, Berry had no idea what had happened to Lyra,, Colgate had been yanked though a window, and to top it all off, HER HEAD STILL FELT LIKE IT WAS SPLITTING IN HALF. All in all, things looked very, very bad...

And that's about how it all came to be. Granted, Colgate had no idea that she had jumped onto a train, nor any idea that she had been yanked through a window, or the fact that she has been hog-tied in a matter of seconds on top of a speeding train. Sadly, all she knew was that she was being carried off and that her captors seemed to be from the rough side of the tracks. So, baithed with an abundance of ignorance, she rode off into the wastelands.

And ride she did. It didn't take long for them to get clear of the dust cloud, but once they did, they rode for what felt like hours. Then again, when one is upside down and bouncing up and down every single time their ride hits his hoof on the ground, time tends to feel a bit elongated. What did help was seeing the sun, when she could. It seemed like they were heading south, but the group often turned left and right at seemingly random times. So, her view of the sun was blocked as often as not. By the time they finally began to slow down, she had noticed that the sun had sunk somewhat.

What all that travel time did do was give her a chance to get a decent look around. As far as landscape was concerned, there was little to see, save the odd rock outcropping. The ground was dry and the dirt crumbled to dust when stepped on, causing all of the running ponies to leave fairly modest dust clouds behind them. Which, to her surprise, were kept under control by the pegasai. Near as she could see, the two of them would push the clouds back to the ground with their wings, and cover the group's tracks with the dust. In speaking of which, none of these ponies looked particularly nice.

There was the one carrying her for starters. Now that they were no longer in a massive dust cloud, she could see him a bit better. He wore a large and badly beaten cowpony hat. It was clearly old and had seen many years of use and abuse. It was brown, and had what looked like the odd tool or some such stuck in its brim. His coat was, at its roots, a dusky brown. The rest of it was a much lighter brown, presumably lightened by years of sun and dust. He wore a jacket that was light brown as well, and it too was in bad shape. It had patches and rips here and there. His mane and tail were black, though with all the dust on them, they too looked rather brown. All-in-all, rather ugly. Not to mention his face. That thing was simply beyond words.

The others in the group didn't look much better. From what she could see, the group was about half a dozen or so large and it looked like most of them were earth ponies. Most of them looked to be stallions, but she could see the odd mare here and there. One of the pegasai was a mare. And almost all of them a different spectrum of the rainbow of ugly. What intrigued her the most was that griffin. It had a mixed plumage of grey and black. It wore a red headband, and wore a ragged tan jacket. Colgate hadn't met too many griffins before, so it was hard for her to tell if this one was male or female. That aside, what she did notice was it would fly high in the air for a while, then it would come down and sit on the back of one of the ponies for a bit, then take off once more. It seemed like it had a favorite to perch on, and the poor pony appeared to be none-too-happy about it.

So, all-in-all, a rather rough looking group. Colgate had the sneaking suspicion that she might be in a bit of trouble. Perhaps the pony carrying her wasn't that bad of a fellow, though. It never hurt to ask, right? So, she turned her head, and valiantly attempted to strike up a conversation. “Mummphum phumm fum fum?” was about what she was able to say. In response, he turned his head to look at her and simply growled. At seeing his face in full light and up close, Colgate came to the conclusion that this poor pony didn't get beat with an ugly stick, he was assaulted with an ugly sledgehammer. At this point she concluded that attempting to say anything more would accomplish little. So she decided she would just try and wait until they stopped.

The sun hung low by the time they did. It had been hours since she'd been foalnapped. Hours and hours of hanging upside down and bouncing up and down. By the time they stopped, she was sure that her poor back was nothing more then one big sore bruise. Though she did have to admit that she was impressed that the entire group had ran for that long, without even taking a single rest. Though she could have done without the sweaty-back-of-her-captor part.

The group had arrived at what looked like a bunch of rocks that jutted out of the ground. They were rather large boulders, that looked almost like spears poking out of the ground. They seemed to lean on each other, creating what looked like a cave under them. The group stopped in front of this cave, and dropped everything on the ground. “Ophm!” cried Colgate as she hit the ground. The pony carrying her had simply dropped her and walked into the cave. All of the other ponies she saw began to go about various tasks as well. Two set about digging a hole in the ground, while another set went about producing what looked to be blankets and other such things. Others went about producing what looked to be food, and the fliers took to the skies. The griffin perched on top of the rocks, and the two pegasai flew off and out of sight.

A heavy dragging nose, accompanied by grunting, caught Colgate's attention. It came from the cave, from which she could see the ugly one dragging what looked to a large bundle of wood. He brought it over to the side of the pit, untied it, and dropped a few logs in the pit. “Er! It's d'un!” he said, looking up at the griffin. The griffin cast a mildly bored look back. Then it looked off in the direction of the other two.

“Alright.” it said, its voice infuriatingly gender neutral, “Those two had better not take forever again. We've only got about an hour before your Princess drops her sun.” Your princess. That phrase struck Colgate. It was clear from the way it said it, it thought little of the Princess. There was a void of affection, even a sense of disconnection. It seemed like this griffin did not consider itself to be an Equestrian. “Seriously, how long does it take to grab two simple clouds? They always take forever. And I thought pegasus ponies were suppose to be fast.”

“ 'hy u a'waz beastin' 'ere 'ings?” asked the ugly one. At least, Colgate was pretty sure it was a question. Something along the lines of, 'Why you always busting their wings?'

It looked down at him coolly. “Well I'm pretty sure it's because they flap those things so slowly. I'm pretty sure I could fly circles around them if I wanted. But, I can't move clouds like they can, so here *I* am, stuck waiting.” It pointed at its chest with an irritated claw, and looked back at the pony with a look that dared him to challenge its words. The pony paused for a moment, then looked away. It was clear to Colgate at this point who was in charge here. “Anyway, when they get back, I'll take the cloth off and let's see if we can get that unicorn to start a fire for us. I'm tired of having to do for you no-talent idiots.” No-talent? That didn't make sense. Colgate attempted to shift a little in the dirt to take a look at the ugly one's cutie mark.

His flank was blank.

Colgate blinked in disbelief. He was a full grown adult alright. No question about that. Wait. She said idiots. Turning her head, she caught sight of another one of the ponies. Her flank was also blank. As was the flank of the pony next to her. They were all blanks flanks. Fully grown adults all of them, and yet, not a single cutie mark. She had expected to see one or two that had to do with say, robbery or something. But no, not a single cutie mark.

Wait, did that griffin say something about her starting a fire?

“Oh look, she's wiggling around. Hold her down until those two get back. I don't want to risk her somehow getting loose.” the griffin said with a dismissive gesture. The ugly pony grunted in reply and turned around and made his way over to her. Colgate began to struggle, trying somehow to free herself, but the ropes holding her were too strong. Walking right next to her (and filling her nostrils once more with an awful smell), he paused for a moment. Then, he sat right on her.

Now, Colgate has been many things in her life. There was her professional career of course. She had been a student for many years before then. She had been a friend, and at times even a confidant. She had been a star gazer, and at times a bit of dreamer. She had even been a royal Princess once, at least, a pretend Princess. It's hard for a little filly to be a Princess, but little itty-bitty Colgate had pretended her hardest. She had taken tin cans and wrapped them around her hooves and colored them with a golden crayon, and had made a little crown for herself out of cardboard. She had even tore open a pillow and glued the feathers to a pair of paper wings she had made for herself. Indeed, she had been the very embodiment of all that was regal and adorable-erm-royal. This however, was new. Of all the things she had been in her life, she had never before become a bench. A lifetime of academic study and hard work, and now she found herself becoming the sitting place of a criminal. What had her life come to?

As her thoughts of self-pity came to a conclusion, she noticed the world around her suddenly became much darker. She could still see, but it was like she was suddenly in a thick fog. Confused, she tried to turn her head to get a better view of what was going on (as the pony sitting on her felt the need to cover face with his rather unwashed tail.), but was unable to as his weight prevented her from being able to move. She heard the sounds of flapping wings, and it sounded like something landed near her.

“Alright, move it. Let's see if she's useful or not.” said the griffin. As the pony moved off her, she felt several hooves pin her in place. The griffin's face came into view, and even this close, Colgate still couldn't tell what gender it was. “So, my little pony, here's the deal. We got some logs set up in a pit. You are going to use that fancy magic of yours,” it reached out and placed the end of one claw on the covered tip of her horn, “and you're going to set it on fire. Got it? Good.” It looked up from her, “Take her to the pit.”

She felt the hooves pick her up and carry her a somewhat short distance. It was a bit of an odd sensation. The last time something like this happened was the one and only time Colgate allowed Berry to make her a 'mystery' brew. That day, and the following two months, were all a disorienting blur. Much of which included being carried to and fro. This time however she was quite aware of her surroundings and was beginning to feel fear. Granted, this whole time she'd been somewhat afraid, but she had grown a bit numb to it after having been around them for what seemed like most of the day. Now that she was the focus of their attention again, the fear began to come back.

They brought her over to the side of a somewhat shallow pit that was filled with old dried logs. The hooves turned her ride-side up and pointed her at the pit. The griffin walked up next to her, and placed two claws on the cloth that was wrapped around her horn. Leaning in close, it grabbed her chin with its other talon, and pointed her head at the pit. “Now little pony,” it whispered in her ear, “no funny business. Just set it on fire. Alright?” It pulled its head away from her ear. “Alright! Every … pony … READY!” And, gripping the cloth tightly, it yanked it off her horn.

The rush to her head was almost enough to knock her out. Never before had she not had magic, to say nothing of feeling it all come back at once. It felt as though she had been put in a gerbil ball that had been tossed onto a stormy sea; a gerbil ball that was continuously spinning at high speeds. Her vision doubled and the world around her went both light and dark at the same time for a moment. Then, as suddenly as it had hit her, it stopped, save a terrible hornache. Looking at the pile, she began to focus her magic. The pile became encased with the aura of her magic as she focused on their weight. Then, she fired them at the ponies holding her hostage.

“OH NO NO NO NO NO NO! WE CAN'T HAVE ANY OF THAT!” Shouted the griffin, who, faster then Colgate could see, shoved the cloth back onto her horn just as the first log had fired off the ground. The feedback into her head was explosive, and for a moment, all she could see was darkness.

Darkness that felt cold, vast, and ... very familiar.

When she came to, she was lying on the ground, surrounded by a semi-circle of ponies groaning in pain. The pit was empty, and it looked like she was in the center of a blast radius. The griffin, however, was nowhere to be seen. She tried to focus her horn again, but felt the resistance of the cloth once more. She tried moving, but found that she was still tied up. She had hoped that her plan would have worked, but now it seemed like it had back-fired. While it looked like the other ponies were down for the count, if the griffin had escaped, it would not be happy. Shifting her weight, she tried to see if she could at least set herself upright. Perhaps she could hop to a hiding place before anypony recovered, and work on getting herself free. Perhaps they would figure she wasn't worth the trouble and move on without her. Granted, she had no idea where she was, but she figured that being out there was better then being with this crowd.

Shuffling slowly, she managed to get one set of hooves on the ground. Slowly keeping her balance, she carefully got to her other set. Perfect. At least now she was standing. She hopped, and nearly lost her balance, but kept up. Not bad. She hopped again, this time keeping her balance a little better. She hopped again, this time almost tripping and landing flat on her face. She paused to regain her balance. She looked around. Sure enough. 6 ponies. 4 earth and 2 pegasai. And all of them looked as if they had been hit with a train. But there was still no griffin. That worried her greatly. Still, she was on her hooves, that was something.

Hop. Hop. Hop.

She made her way as quickly as she could. She had no idea where she was going to hide. Then, an idea hit her. Why not find something to cut the ropes with? She couldn't see too far, but she made her way over to where she remembered a box had been dropped. Perhaps there was something in there she could use.

Hop. Hop. Hop.

She could see a crate at the edge of the haze. Hopping her way next to it, she saw that it had been blown over, and its contents spilled over the ground. Ha! Just her luck! She could see a rather sharp looking sculpture; one that ended up proving effective in cutting her bonds. With free hooves, she reached to remove the cloth, and felt a terrible pain in her body for touching it. She gasped. She'll have to worry about that later. For now, she needed to get out of here. Looking around, she spotted the cave through the haze and booked it. Perhaps it led to somewhe-

“OH NO NO! YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!” came an eagle’s screech from above. Looking up, Colgate saw a shadow dive bombing right at her...

Chapter Two, Part Four

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter Two, Part Five

Chapter Two, Part Five

Bonnie Bonnet was a simple mare. She enjoyed the little things in life. She loved her little garden, and she spent many hours humming to her little flowers and vegetables. She loved her little polka dotted bonnet that was her mother's and the little apron that was her father's. She had a simple little cottage not far from her native town of Ponyville. It was one story, with a kitchen, a living room, and two bedrooms. Not far from the home was a small outhouse that was covered in bright flowers. It was in this home she had been raised with her younger brother. Just as her mother had been, and her father before her. Her foalhood had been a simple and pleasant one. She had kind parents, and her brother and her had gotten along wonderfully. In short, her life was simple and wonderful. There was, however, one small problem.

She has absolutely nothing to do with this story.

Her brother however, is another matter. He was the poor chap who had been sent flying through the air by Berry's powerful kick. She, of course, was completely unaware of this event, and went about her life with nary a care in the world. Had she been aware, she would have been unsurprised. For, in their adult years, he had fallen in with a bad crowd. Eventually, he had left home, leaving her to care for their ailing parents by herself. This too had not surprised her, for the kind of ponies he had run off with were a rather deplorable crowd. Not only had they encouraged him to not write after he left (the fiends!), but they also didn't take baths (Seriously! Who doesn't take baths? Fetid mongrels the lot of them!). So, if she had heard that all these years after he had left that he had been on the business end of a vengeful pony's hooves, she would have simply snorted and said nothing more. She knew those ponies were trouble, and secretly, every night, she hoped that they were all going to get what was coming to them. Little did they know that they were, and that it would come in perhaps the most unexpected form.

Little did they know that form would be Lyra, who knew even less then they did that she would be just that.

But enough about unimportant ponies, let's get back to Colgate shall we?

She had never been on the receiving end of a griffin's dive before. On the end of a charging pony, yes. One the end of a furious rabbit's pounce, who hasn't? But never a griffin, and she planned on keeping that way. Thinking quickly, she kicked up a piece of wood onto her hoof, then threw it at the diving bird-like beast. Not taking time to see if she hit, she ran for the mouth of the cave. A hard crack told her board had found its mark. She plunged through the entrance, only to be stopped dead in the air as something grabbed her tail and yanked back hard on it.

“Nice try! But a puny little board isn't gonna stop me!” said the griffin as it began trying to pull her out.

She grit her teeth and dug in her hooves. She pulled against the griffin, trying her best to ignore the pain; trying her best to yank her tail free. Problem is, pony tails are rather sensitive things. Pulling on them often causes terrible pain (this is also true for the tails that pony's have, though those are not quite as sensitive), and often makes the wearer of said hair style rather upset, but we digress. The griffin was strong, and the fact that it braced its limbs against the walls of the cave entrance only made it harder to fight against. She pulled, it pulled. It had turned into a terrible game of tug-of-war. She would move forward a bit, only to be dragged right back to where she had begun.

“GET-OUT-HERE!” it shouted.

“NO!” Colgate shouted back, trying to dig her hooves into the ground even harder. She looked around for something, anything, to help out. There! A decent sized rock! She reached out with her mag-and suddenly her head exploded. Well, not literally mind you, but she felt a mighty shock to her head none-the-less. A shock that knocked her off her hooves, and into the waiting claws of a griffin.

“Get over here!” it shouted as it grabbed her horn and with a sudden jerk, thrust Colgate to the ground. “You've been more trouble then you're worth! Let's fix that.” Holding up one talon in the air, Colgate saw it had a rope it in. Bringing it down, it quickly tied her up much like poor Applejack after failing a rope trick (now, it's worth noting that Applejack rarely blotches one of her rope tricks, in public anyway. Colgate [at the insistence of Berry] sometimes spied on poor AJ while she would practice a new move. This brought the two onlookers much enjoyment to see AJ become a mummy made of ropes). “There! That should hold you!” it said, giving a final yank on the rope to tighten it. “Now then, what should we do about you hum? Ooo! I wonder if the cloth works on unicorns!” it said taking a step back from Colgate.

“It works fine!” Colgate tried to shout, but was unable to. The griffin looked at her appraisingly, bringing one of its talons to its chin in thought.

“A golden hourglass? Hum … how is it again that you stupid ponies work? Your mark is your special … 'something'.” It shook its head. “It's all so lame and dorky anyway. But I can't complain too much.” It reached into its jacket, and pulled out another cloth, but this one was a bit different. The one that was wrapped around her horn looked to be a simple brown cloth (it even had the odd hole in it). This one was a very dark red with a dirty gold border. “You know what the thing about you stupid ponies is? You're too obsessed with those marks of yours.” It began bouncing the cloth up and down in its talon. “You're all like, 'Oh! It's my destiny! I know what I really am!' or some puke like that. Well you know what? There are plenty of us who don't have these silly things and we get along just fine. And what's your 'Special Talent'? Time keeping? Or do you make hourglasses? Well?” It asked as it reached for Colgate's muzzle, and pulled the ropes off of it. Colgate took the chance and tried to bite its talon, but it was just quick enough to avoid her. “Oh no no no! We can't have that!” It said, striking the cloth on Colgate's horn with the new one.

All at once her vision was filled with hundreds of images. It felt like her mind was filled with the memories and motivations of hundreds of ponies. For a moment, she felt like she could have done anything. Indeed, it felt like she had suddenly gained the talent for almost anything in this world, then all at once, those feelings were replaced with hundreds of feelings of loss. Loss of motivation, reason, and even purpose. All at once she felt the despair of hundreds of ponies all at once. She gasped. The sensation only lasted a moment, but it was long enough.

“Huh.” The griffin said, its eyes filling with curiosity. “I didn't expect that. I just figured you'd get a nasty shock.”

Colgate blinked a couple of times. “Wait, what? What happened?”

“Well, your eyes went all white and then suddenly all of these different … uh … 'Cutie Marks' I guess, flashed in them. Kinda like a flip-book or something.” it said, peering closely at her. “What happened in that over-sized head of yours?” it asked, its face getting uncomfortably close to hers.

Colgate's face recoiled from the griffin's as it got close, and she thought of biting it, but decided against it. She figured that feathers were bad for her teeth anyway. “First off, I'm a dentist, thank you very much!” she said rather indignantly.

The griffin blinked. “What? A dentist? Hold on, your flank stamp is an hourglass, and you are a dentist? What the? That doesn't make ANY sense!”

Colgate pursed her lips. The topic of her cutie mark had always been kinda touchy. Yes, it wasn't related to dentistry, no she did make clocks or had an amazing sense of time (though she did like to be punctual). And no, she did not own a massive hourglass. That was Time Turner's, to whom she was NOT related to. And no, she didn't want to talk about how or when she got her mark. She always had to go through that gambit of questions whenever she got a new patient or traveled out of Ponyville for professional reasons. It always annoyed her, and thankfully, the good ponies of Ponyville knew this and stopped asking questions soon after she started her practice. Still, it was something that haunted her most of her life. And even now it continued to haunt her it seemed.

“Yes, what of it?” she snapped. She had just about enough of this griffin.

It raised an eyebrow. “Oh my my my. Tied up like a mummy but acting tough huh? You must either be a real bad tailfeather or just stupid. You could also be really mad. Whatever, you're proving to be more trouble then you're worth. Though we can't just let you go. And I don't know if this would work right or not...” it said, tossing the red cloth up and down again. “I mean, the cloth on your horn works, kinda. Hum … I don't know, there's something wrong with you. I mean, first, you're able to stay awake while the cloth is on your horn. Not suppose to happen. Second, the cloth isn't supposed to cause an explosion when it stops your stupid magic. I mean, I don't know too much about how this works, but I'm pretty sure it's supposed to just suck it all outta your head while its on. And the fact that it only does that sometimes makes me worried. Third: I really don't like you. And your job doesn't match your stupid symbol or whatever. You're not normal, and I don't like that. Not only that, you knocked most of my gang outta commission! You know what? Maybe I should just tie you to a rock and leave you there. Except I can't do that 'cause those stupid cloths are hard to make! Arg!” it threw its arms up in frustration, the sound almost masculine, but then again, perhaps it was feminine. Colgate really wished she knew more about griffins. She made a note to ask Twilight about them when she got back to Ponyville.

“Wait, you make these things? How?”

“Oh? You wanna know do you?” it said cracking a huge grin, at least as much as a griffin can with a beak. “Tell ya what, why don't you tell me about that pretty little mark of yours first and why you're so weird. Like, why are you so different then any other unicorn?”

Colgate swallowed. She always hated this part. It always caused more questions then answers, but she figured that if she could find out how this griffin made these cloths, then perhaps she just might figure out how to get it off. Or, at the very least, warn Twilight and the authorities about them. It just might be worth the trade. “Why do you want to know about my Cutie Mark so bad?”

“Because,” it said with a smile, “I collect them...”

Author's Note

Fun Fact: this is the 13th installment of this story. A lucky day for our Dentist, an't it?

Chapter Two, Part Six

Chapter Two, Part Six

Colgate's jaw dropped. C-collect them? Her head begun spinning. How was that even possible? It's not like a cutie mark was a sticker or anything like that. You can't just take it off! The very idea was absurd!

“That's impossible!” Colgate said. “You can't 'collect' them! They don't come off!” she protested.

The griffin simply grinned even wider. “Now now now. We can't have you thinking something like that.” it said. “Here,” it opened its coat and pulled out what seemed to be a scroll of some kind. “Now, this roll an't full yet, but I'm getting there. I've gotten a good number of these filled so far.” It held the scroll in front of its face, and then let it unroll. It hit the ground, and unrolled just short of Colgate's head. She looked at what lay on it.

Her skin turned white.

It was covered in cutie marks, and each cutie mark was in pairs. One for the left and one for the right. She counted dozens of them. All them neatly lined up in two columns of each pair (making, on the whole, the scroll four cutie marks wide). Then a thought dawned on her.

“Oh! I get it!” she said, hoping that her conclusion was right, “You make copies of them and put them on the scroll!” She said, her eyes suddenly full of hope.

“Nope. I just take'em right off with this thing here.” it said, once again tossing the red cloth in its claw. “Kinda like wiping something off a table. I wipe it right over the mark, and onto this scroll here, and bam! There it is. Then I do again, 'cause it wouldn't be right to leave the job unfinished.” It looked around from behind the scroll to look at her. “But I like to get the little story about how these little things came to be. It makes it feel a little more personal, don't you think? Now then, how did you get your stupid stamp?” it demanded.

Colgate, mustering more bravado then she should have had given the situation, set her eyes to make the most determined face that she could. “Only if you tell me how you make those things.” She demanded, or at least had begun to demand. In actuality, her demand had been rudely cut off by the griffin's laughter.

“That-was-ADORABLE!” it shouted, nearly falling backwards. “By my feathers! That was so cute! Do it again, Do it again!” it said rather excitedly.

Blast it all! Colgate had forgotten about her horrible curse! The more serious she tried to be, the more adorable she became. Given that she had been serious indeed, she could only imagine how cute she must have become. She wagered that not only had her face ended up looking adorable, but her voice probably raised and octave or two higher. And to add insult to injury, she probably said those words like how a tiny little filly would have said them. Blast it all, why in Equestria did this have to happen at all the worst times?

“No.” she said firmly. Unsurprisingly, and much to her frustration, this made the griffin laugh only harder.

“Oh...” it was gasping for breath, “oh … stop … I can't take too much more of that...” it said, wiping tears from its eyes.

Well, might as well make the best of it, eh?

With that thought in mind, Colgate donned her serious face once more (for it had become rather crestfallen). “Untie me right now, and take me back to Dodge Junction!” she commanded in her most authoritative voice. “If you don't, you'll be in really big trouble!” She knew that threat was kinda lame, but it was the best she could think of off the top of her head. She suddenly wished she had taken Berry up on that offer to do some improv theater (perhaps if she had, she could have thought up a better threat). But now was not the time for such regrets!

The griffin had begun laughing uncontrollably and, try as it might, it couldn't maintain eye-contact with her. Every time it tried, it would only burst out in more laughter. Colgate didn't know what she hoped to gain from making it laugh so much, but hopefully something would come of it. It dropped both scroll and cloth as it clutched its sides and doubled over in both laughter and pain. It tried to speak, but failed multiple times. It was right about then that Colgate got a brilliant idea. Well, it seemed that way to her, never mind that it was more suicidal then brilliant. She wormed her way over to the griffin's side (shouting increasingly dire and serious commands, as well as threats at it all the while). Thankfully it was too busy crying and laughing to notice her moving closer. Once close enough, she activated the plan.

It was simple, yet elegant. The griffin mentioned that, and she saw, that her trying to use magic usually ended in one of two ways. Either nothing happened or a very real explosion would occur. Seeing as how she had managed to walk away from both scenarios (those times when she could walk anyway), her plan was to cause that explosion once more. This time however, the griffin wouldn't be able to escape. It would be too close, and it couldn't react quickly enough to escape the blast. So, taking a moment to brace herself for the pain that would soon come, she focused and sent just about the biggest wave of magic she could into her horn.

Nothing.

She blinked. Well, it was about a 50/50 chance it seemed. And, if at first you don't succeed... She focused once more, and sent another wave into her horn.

BOOM

When she came to, she noticed two immediate things. One: that she was still very much alive. That is assuming that throbbing migraines are indeed an indication of life. Two: she was sill wrapped up like a frustrated AJ on a failed practice day (and let me tell you, that's more wrapped up then winter in Ponyville). Still, if her planned worked, then she would have enough time to break free and head out of here … wherever here was. She wiggled around a bit. Nothing gave. If nothing else, that griffin had proven that it was a pro with tying rope. Perhaps that sharp statue was still around. She could try it again. She looked around. She was surround by dust, and the last rays of the day were finally vanishing. In short, she had no idea where she was, or how to escape. She knew she wasn't near the rocks anymore, for if she had been, she figured that she could have made out their silhouettes in the dark. She wiggled some more. Still nothing. She let let out a sigh of frustration, that was stopped dead in its tracks, for she suddenly realized that she couldn't open her mouth.

It had been tied back shut.

Then it dawned on her. Her plan had failed. Or, at least, so she assumed. How else could her mouth had been tied shut again? She tried to look around once more, this time managing to flop onto her other side. Her legs made a large thump sound and kicked up some dust as they hit the ground.

“Finally awake, huh?” came a voice that she wished she'd never heard before (or again for that matter!). “Now now now, we can't have you flopping about like that. It looks about as stupid as that little brain of yours.” Something heavy landed on her legs, pinning them in place. “To your credit though, you weren't out that long. Well, that long after I woke up anyway. Nasty blast that. I guess I was careless.” She couldn't see where the griffin was speaking from but she guessed it was either from on top of whatever was on her legs, or somewhere behind her. Either way, she couldn't see it. “I've got to admit, you have been a lot of trouble. I've never met a pony so determined to be a pain. I mean, knowingly making your head explode like that? You've got to be crazy. Seriously, you're almost not worth the effort. But we want a unicorn, so by my feathers we're going to get one! Even if it's caused nothing but pain!” it was clearly agitated, and bit exhausted. “Now, tell me how you got your stupid flank symbol, or an exploding head will be the last of your worries!” Something hit the ground next to her mouth, and she felt the ropes loosen. Focusing her eyes on it, she saw it was a knife.

“Not unle-”

“NO. You're not in a position to bargain anymore! You're going to tell me how you got it, and you're going to tell me NOW!” it roared.

Colgate normally wasn't one to succumb to intimidation. And this time would have been no different, if not for the following facts: One, she was in the middle of the desert with this griffin presumably being the only one who knew how to get back to civilization. Two, she was covered head to hoof with tight rope that she couldn't get out of. Three, she had a very large and very heavy thing pinning her legs. Four, she was completely helpless and that griffin sounded almost like it was out for blood. And five: that was an awfully big knife. In short, she had no choice.

She sighed. “Alright, alright. I'll tell you. Not that you're gonna believe me anyway.” she said.

“Try me” it responded.

“I … I was born with it.” she said.

There was silence.

“Born with it?” it asked, quite confused.

“Yes. I was born with it.” she said rather curtly.

“That's … really? That's it?” it asked, a bit stupefied.

“Yes. That's it. No big story, no amazing event, nothing. I was born with it. End of story.”

Had she been able to see the griffin, she would have noticed its beak slowly opening and closing in disbelief. “But I thought...” it trailed off.

“That all ponies had to earn their cutie marks? Well most of them do. I just so happen to be different, thank you very much!” it was always a very sore subject for her. The fillies in school were both envious and picked on her for that reason.

“Well … that's rather … anticlimactic. I was hoping for some kind of … something. I mean, you've shown more spunk and fight then just about any pony I've ever met, or even griffin for that matter. And at the end of it all, you were just BORN with it? You've got to be kidding me!” it shouted, and the weight on her legs lightened just a little as she heard a swoosh of wings above her. It would seem that it had been sitting on top of whatever was on her legs. It flew into the air, then landed heavily on the ground near her head. “Of all the stories, of all he possibilities, YOU WERE BORN WITH IT? THAT'S BEYOND LAME.” to say it was upset would be an understatement. “Each one has a unique story! And yours is 'I was born with it'?! Whatever! It's good enough!” is said, throwing its arms in the air while it made its way over to her backside, picking up the knife as it went.

“Why in Equestria does that bother you so much?” Colgate asked, quite agitated.

It stopped for a moment. “Why? Because then I have no idea what to do with you!” it said as if the answer was obvious.

“What? What do you mean?” Colgate was afraid of the answer.

She felt the ropes covering her cutie mark suddenly slacken as she felt the ropes around it get cut. “Oh, right, I forgot for a sec you have no idea how this all works. Well, might as well tell you what you need to know. So, like, each of those stupid marks represents your,” it cringed as it spoke the next word, “destiny, right? That one thing that you're really good at, right? So, like, it's what make you unique, right?” It paused, Colgate assumed it was waiting for an answer.

“Uh, yeah, for the most part.” she responded, her voice a little nervous.

“So, it's pretty simple. I wipe it right off of you and suddenly you're a blank slate. Your history, your memories, what makes you special, all that vomit. But since I have the marks right there.” it said, pointing at the scroll, “I get to keep all of that. And because of that, I get to tell all those ponies what to do. And since they were already so 'talented',” it made little quotation marks in the air as it said that, “in something, I usually just have them keep doing it. Now do you get why I'm so peeved? I mean, 'I was born with it'! What am I supposed to do with that?” it said, looking at her almost as if it was expecting her to answer the question.

Colgate however was in no position to respond. Her identity? Her special talent? Gone, just like that? Then something came back to her on her. All of the other ponies she had seen with this griffin didn't have cutie marks! Every single one had been blank! She struggled to look at the griffin, but the ropes made it rather difficult. “But, why? Why?” she asked, trying everything she could to break free, but it was no use.

“Oh no no no, we can't have you knowing that, now can we?” it said, malice thick in its voice. It then turned and looked down at her cutie mark. “Well, I'm sure I'll figure something out. Here goes!” It laid the cloth on her cutie mark, and wiped.

And then its eyes filled with bright light. It let out a terrifying shriek, and was suddenly, and rather violently, blown back into the darkness and out of Colgate's sight...

Author's Note

It's also extremely absorbent, making it perfect for those tough to clean messes!

P.S. Where the %^&&# is Berry and Bon-Bon in all of this?!

Chapter Two: Part Seven

Chapter Two: Part Seven

A heavy thud came to both Berry's ears and torso as something slammed hard into him. He wasn't sure what it was, but it smelled faintly of feathers and dust. Then again, EVERYTHING smelled of dust. Or at least it had been for the past few hours. He had never run so fast in his life, and he suspected that he was unlikely to do so ever again. Not to mention the part where he'd been running for what must have been close to 8 or 9 hours straight. He'd been on his hooves since the train incident, which had happened a little before mid-day. Even so, Colgate was in danger, and nothing was going to stop him from going after her! Not even the sudden barrage of airborne birdtillery was going to stop this train of a stallion! So, much like water hitting an umbrella, the mysterious feathered fowl ricocheted off to the side as Berry charged full speed to where he had seen all those flashes and heard all that noise. Nearly trampling over the unconscious bodies of several ponies, he finally arrived at the dead center of where the disturbances had been coming from. Bon-Bon hopped down and began looking around. While she was not a fan of riding on his back, she did have to agree that it was the most efficient way to travel for the time being, seeing as how he could run faster then her and seemed to have unlimited stamina. Granted, Bon-Bon was no weakling. Both her and Berry knew that if it wasn't for that drink, she would be the fastest of the four of them. As it was however, Berry was under its influence and while so, he was just about the fastest and seemingly toughest stallion either of them had ever met.

“Colgate!” Berry shouted. “Are you here? Where are you?!”

“Right by your left hoof!” came the reply, from beside his left hoof. He blinked, then looked down. Sure enough, there was a pony lying on the ground with what looked to be a massive stone sitting on its legs. Had it not spoken, Berry wouldn't have known it was Colgate, for all the ropes it was wrapped up in.

“What the? What happened to you? Are you alright? Did they hurt you?” he asked, easily kicking the stone off of her.

“Berry...” she started as Bon-Bon seemed to have come out of nowhere with what looked to be a surprisingly sharp statue of some kind. She began using it to cut the ropes that mummified poor Colgate.

“What? What is it?” he asked, removing the ropes as they were being cut.

“You guys came … I … I …” tears of joy began to fill her eyes. And a huge smile came across her face. “How did you find me?” she asked.

“Well, that's a story in of itself.” Berry said, pulling the last of the ropes off of Colgate. Bon-Bon looked at the statue with curiosity and decided to attach it to her pony using a bit of rope, as she did not have her saddle bags. “As it turns out, half of these guys ran a different direction to pull us off the trail. It worked, but after asking for some directions, they sent us this way.” Berry said, a pleased grin on his face.

“Berry here really does have no sense of direction. I had to keep telling her to turn left, right, left, more left. She seems to like going to the right, a lot.” Bon-Bon said.

“Hey! Who did all the running?” Berry shot back, good naturedly of course.

“And who has endless endurance?” Bon-Bon asked, a bit smugly.

“Thanks guys. Thank you so much.” Colgate said, hugging both of them. “But how did you find this place in the dark?”

“Oh, that was easy. A little while ago we saw this huge burst of light in the distance, and we kinda hoped and figured that must have had something to do with you since it came from the direction we were headed. And as we got closer, we saw some more bursts of light and then we kept hearing all these noises. In speaking of which, was that you that screamed just a moment ago?” Berry asked, a note of concern in his voice.

“Me? No, that was the griffin. Wait! Did you see it? We need to take it to the authorities right away! It's stealing ponies' cutie marks and turning them into its slaves!” she shouted. “It flew back that way when it tried to take mine!” She pointed the direction they had come in from.

Berry and Bon-Bon both looked. “Wait … I think that might have been what I hit on my way over here!” Berry exclaimed. Bon-Bon, without a word, ran off into the darkness in that direction.

“Wait, you hit it?” Colgate was a bit confused.

“Well, more like it flew into me as I was running in. It kinda bounced off of me.” he said.

“We gotta find it! We can't let it get away!” she said, alarm in her voice. Almost as if on cue, they suddenly heard the sounds of a struggle nearby. The two of them turned and ran to the source with little hesitation.

What they found when they arrived was the final blow in what looked to be a fight between Bon-Bon and said griffin. Bon-Bon had been thrown through the air by it, and perhaps by accident, right into Berry. This time however, this projectile did not bounce off. Rather, it knocked the both of them to the ground. Colgate lept to the side with a startled cry and looked at the griffin just in time to see it take off into the night. It made one last glance back at them, and opened its beak, “FORGET THIS, YOU'RE A FREAK! I'M DONE WITH YOU!”, and then vanished into the night sky.

The two ponies quickly got to their hooves and shook themselves off. “You alright Bon-Bon?” both Berry and Colgate asked, almost in unison.

“Yes, I'm fine.” she said simply.

“Who was that?” Berry asked, looking off into the sky where the griffin had vanished.

“No idea,” said Colgate, “but whoever that was, they're dangerous. We've got to get to Dodge and report this to the Princess! Or at least warn Twilight!”

“Good idea.” Agreed Berry, “Come on, if we hurry, we might make it back by day-break.”

“Hold on Berry.” Bon-Bon interrupted. “You may have unlimited stamina, but we don't. And who's to say what would happen if or when the drink stops working? We need to rest for the night. I'll tie up the other ponies around here, you two find someplace to camp for the night.”

“Wait, you know how to do that?” Colgate asked. “How?”

“I was a ranch-hoof for a few years on and off, so I learned how to use a rope.” she said with a shrug. “Anyway, we better move quick, I don't want to see what would happen if these ponies woke up before I tied them up.”

So, with that, they set about doing just that. Bon-Bon was able find the rope she needed, and the other started a fire and got some spots ready for sleeping. Given that there was plenty of gear on hoof, the task was relatively simple. It was, however, made a bit more difficult by the fact that Colgate's horn was still wrapped in that cloth. Berry remembered well what had happened when she had tried to remove the cloth from Lyra's horn, and she wasn't about to repeat the experience. Colgate decided that it was best to wait until they got into town to remove it. So they did things the Earth Pony way.

“Hey,” Colgate began, “so where's Lyra?”

Berry and Bon-Bon exchanged glances. “Dodge.” Berry said.

“Why didn't she come?” Colgate asked.

“Yes Berry, why didn't Lyra come?” Bon-Bon said, tightening up a knot.

“Err … I'll tell you in the morning, alright?” Berry said, trying to not look either of them in the eye.

“Fine.” responded Colgate. “But make it the first thing ok?”

“Sure sure.” Berry said.

During this process, the little cave that Colgate had tried to dive into caught her attention once more. Now that the griffin was gone, perhaps she could take a look inside. Looking around, for something to give her a bit of light, she grabbed a plank of wood with her teeth. Turning back to the little fire she and Berry had gotten started, she lit one end of it and headed back to the cave. It should be noted that she did so quite quite a bit of haste. You see, normally she would have simply grabbed the plank with her magic and all would be well. However, since her magic was either very much there or very much not, she had to hold the now very on fire plank of wood between her teeth. And though that idea seems simple enough, it suddenly seems rather foolish once the flames begin climbing to one's face. Colgate always figured that she was attractive enough, no need for her to suddenly become smoking.

“Where're you goin'?” Berry asked, her (for the drink had finally worn off) eyes following Colgate as she made her way.

“There's this little cave I've been dying to check out.” She mumbled with a mouth full of plank. She arrived in short order and simply walked right in.

There wasn't much to see.

The little cave was empty. It was roughly pyramid in shape, with no holes anywhere to be seen. It looked as though it could have been natural, but it may have been ponymade. She wasn't too sure. Taking a few more steps inside, the chamber suddenly lit up. A heavy slam behind her told her that door of some kind closed behind her. Alarmed, she turned to look, as suddenly a light begun to fill the room. The light began from the cloth on her head. It glowed brightly, outshining the dim light of her make-shift torch. Surprised, she dropped her torch and took a step back, but suddenly felt herself unable to move. The floor then began to light up, then the walls, then finally the ceiling. The sound of magic build-up began to fill her ears as she could feel the build up in what little of her horn was exposed. Whatever was about to happen, it was gonna be big. Not only that, the color of the glow, was the same color as her magic. Unable to move, she sat there, wondering what kind of spell was about to happen. She suddenly wished he had paid more attention to her magic 101 classes at Canterlot.

Outside, both Berry and Bon-Bon were oblivious to this turn of events. Bon-Bon had finally finished tying the last bandit to the bandit pile she had made. Berry, on the other hoof, had just been lying on one of the bedrolls, watching her with endless fascination. “A ranch-hoof you say? That's where you learned how to tie ropes? I don't know Bon-Bon. You seem awfully familiar with how to tie a pony up. Are you sure you're not a commando?” she asked, raising a sleepy eyebrow.

She was answered with a snort of frustration. “For the last time. I am not commando, nor have I ever been. I've never served under Celestia nor am I a guardpony! The reason I know how to handle a rope is because when it comes to tying up ponies, they are very similar to cows and pigs. And I had to tie up a lot of cows and pigs when I worked on the ranch.”

“Oh yeah? Then where did you learn those combat moves? I don't know of many ponies who can pin a fully grown mare as easily as you did or can wrestle with a griffin.” Berry smiled. She was sure she had Bon-Bon trapped with that one.

Bon-Bon's gaze of 'are you serious?' caught Berry a bit off guard. “If you must know, my parents enrolled me into self-defense classes when I was younger. There was a time when they thought that I might become a guard, but that thought vanished when I got my cutie mark. You see, both my parents wanted me to enlist because they were worried that I might one day need it.”

“Ah ha! So you do have training as a guard!” Berry said smugly.

“No! I don't! I said that I stopped those while I was still young. I never even got to basic training! When my special talent for making sweets showed up, they pulled me out and stuck me in culinary school. Happy now?” Bon-Bon was clearly irritated, and sat down by the fire with a bit more force then was really necessary.

“So, why did you become a ranch-hoof?” Berry said, a note of disbelief in her very tired voice.

“Because being a sweets chef doesn't always pay the bills. I don't know if you've noticed Berry, but I do a lot of odd jobs around town. And when certain seasons hit, I do odd jobs out of town as well. Like when summer comes along I'll head to Dodge to help heard cats or I'll head north to Vanhoover for other jobs. When winter comes sometimes I'll go to Appleloosa and help with the last harvest of the season, and bake pies for the Buffalo. I get around Berry. And when a pony works as many jobs as I do, that pony picks up a lot of things. Does that finally answer your question? Can we please drop the commando thing?” Bon-Bon's eyes were pleading. Berry, barely awake, almost didn't see it.

“Alright Bon-Bon, I'll drop it … (for now)” she muttered under her breath. And then was out like a light. It was right about then it suddenly dawned on Bon-Bon that Colgate hadn't come back yet.

“Colgate? Colgate! Where are you?” she got up and grabbed a plank and poked it into the dying fire. Once lit, she walked over to the little cave. It was empty. No Colgate, no light from a torch, nothing. It wasn't until she almost stepped in that she noticed something was amiss. The floor of the place was completely free of dust. That wasn't right. EVERYTHING had dust on it. So why didn't this cave? Her tracks lead to here, and there was no set leading out. She thought about it. Was the floor perhaps a trap door? No, she couldn't see any seams. Perhaps it was … she tossed in her torch. She watched as it flew through the air, and just before it hit the ground, it vanished.

Teleportation magic.

Colgate had been teleported, but to where?

Author's Note

Oh, so that's were Berry and Bon-Bon were!
What silly ponies they are.

Chapter Two: Part Eight

Chapter Two: Part Eight

Twilight was rather unaware of these events. Rather, her mind was on other things. Not too long after the battle with Tirek, the Sisters felt that Twilight had earned a brief respite. A nice vacation as it were. And Twilight, of course, was all too happy to take it.

Such were what the official records said anyway. In all honesty, what had happened was that the Sisters ordered her to take a vacation while they and Cadence discussed the meaning of recent events. Twilight wasn't too excited by the idea, as she too wanted to be part of the discussion. And while she too was a Princess, she was hard pressed to argue against three official royal orders. So, on vacation she went.

Granted, there are worse places to visit then Vanhoover. It was a nice enough place, though it had made quite the fuss about her visit (much to her chagrin). Granted, she was a Princess, and she was getting a little more and more used to the idea of being one, but she still would have preferred if she could have arrived quietly and checked into her room without incident. However, the city decided that it was going to be a grand event. Not only did her train ride over there involve her being put on a private line, the entire train (which was ostentatious beyond belief) was also crawling with ponies simply dying to wait on her ever whim. If she even looked like she might have been thirsty, a cup full of Apple Juice would almost magically appear before she could blink. If she even mentioned food, she would suddenly be presented with a feast worthy of her station. If she mentioned reading? Well, let's just say she would found herself covered in so many books that she felt a wave of nostalgia from her old book-forts days. Though her forts were less crushing and allowed for breathing room.

Not only that, to say that she had no privacy would be an understatement. Even when she ordered to be left alone, she knew there was always one or two ponies hiding in the shadows simply waiting for her to blink, much less ask for something. She discovered this fact when, after requesting alone time so she could do a bit of study (after the finest quill masters, paper makers, desk-smiths, ink mixers, stool crafters, and cup artisans all presented their crafts and items for her to choose from. For, you see, they felt that whomsoever's quill she used, paper she wrote on, desk she penned at, ink she wrote with, stool she sat upon, and cup she supped from [note: Twilight didn't actually want a cup, but the servants were simply so worried about the very idea of her feeling thirsty that they insisted that she have one just in case] was truly the greatest craftspony of their field. After all, a Princess would only choose the best after all! The whole process took roughly 2 or 3 hours to finally resolve.), she had mentioned off-hoofedly that she was feeling just a little thirsty. Before the words had even finished speaking the words, no less then 3 or 4 dozen ponies melted out of the walls and curtains with pitchers of water (each with water from a different part of Equesteria) for her to choose from (though they insisted that Vanhoovian water was simply the best).

Even poor Spike had it rough. Not five minutes after they finally arrived to Twilight's private car, (which parade also took a good 2 hours) had several Crystal Ponies politely abducted him to reside in another car. Now, at first Spike didn't mind. After all, the car he was taken to was a car made and designed in the Crystal Empire. It was also filled with an impressive staff waiting to serve him claw and foot. So, it didn't take long for him to succumb to their endless praises and endless supply of gems (they even had the good graces to have bottomless ice cream for him). However, he too discovered that there can indeed be too much of a good thing. For not long after he had begun gorging himself, he had fallen ill. This caused a swarm of ponies to constantly buzz about him and constantly shove this that and the other treatment down his poor throat. Such was their reckless abandon that upon arrival to Vanhoover, poor Spike had to be hospitalized.

Twilight, however, was also unaware of this. For it had been decided that it would be best if she didn't have that worry on her plate while she was supposed to be resting at her private suite. Granted, she did ask after Spike a number of times, but each time she was assured that the Crystal Ponies would happily return him as soon as possible (after all, it's not everyday they get to spend the day with their hero, now is it? Or so they had reasoned with her.). So, in perturbed ignorance she had been escorted to the finest hotel in the city and placed in the best room. Little did she realized that the hotel had rented out the entire top three floors just for her. So, in short: the vacation proved to be anything but relaxing. Constantly harassed by servants asking for her will, and even being required to attend several official municipal events, her mood simply went from bad to worse.

Which really was quite a pity. You see, not even a week after their departure from Ponyville Spike had received a very urgent scroll. Sadly, at the time it was thought to be the result of his sick, and thus was discarded for several days. It wasn't until a random trashpony happened to notice that the scroll was from Ponyville and addressed to the Princess that it had been cleaned off and taken to her. Sadder still however was that by the time it finally reached her, it had been at the precise moment when her patience had snapped. The poor pony had walked in just as several prominent business ponies were asking for her advice (the third time that morning they had done so). And just as she had opened her mouth to say something, Twilight had finally exploded, and by royal order, told every single pony to leave (even the ones hiding in the shadows) and to lock every single door to her room and to allow entrance to nopony save The Princesses or Spike (though, of course, she would have made allowance for her friends, but she figured that they wouldn't be showing up anytime soon so she felt no need to mention them). To the trashpony's credit, she tired her best to shout over the sounds of the complaining business ponies and the guards who had magically shown up to escort them all out. Sadly however, her cutie mark was not one for opera, but for garbage. And so her attempts to alert her of what seemed to be a letter of the utmost importance failed. That is … this time. You see, she had been a naughty pony and had read the letter before fully knowing who it belonged to. But it was because of that, she realized the importance of getting this letter to the Princess.

So, after being unceremoniously shoved out of the hotel, she brushed herself off and stood up. She was going to get this letter to the Princess, no matter what! She was going to do it for them, for her, for EQUESTRIA! Them being the ponies in the letter that is. This news was big, and Princess Twilight needed to know! The question was, how does a humble trashpony break into the private suite of a Princess?

That however, is a question yet to be solved (for the above events have not even happened yet!). For now, let's get back to the matter on hoof, shall we?

Bon-Bon looked around the chamber with mild annoyance. They had finally caught up with Colgate only to have her magicked away right out of their hooves. Still, this wasn't the first time Bon-Bon had dealt with something like this, and she doubted that it would be the last. Turning around, she paused a moment to look at the night sky. Hum … it looked as though they were roughly a day's travel from Dodge. She looked to the eastern and western to skies to confirm her position, and then plotted out a rough course for them to travel come the morning. She may not know exactly where Colgate had teleported to, but Bon-Bon figured that the three of them had better head to Deadmare's Gully. If nothing else, she and Lyra could probably get the information they needed there. Or...

She looked over at the pile of bandits that she had made. Scanning their faces, she hoped that one of them might look important enough to know something. There, the truly ugly one. She made her way over to him, disconnected him from the pile, and carried him over to the campsite. Retying him to a nearby rock, she finally decided to head to bed. Lying down, she paused as something poked her. Sitting up, she pulled out the offender.

A scroll.

That's right. During the struggle, she had pinched it from the griffin. Right before it had tossed her off with a surprisingly expert Tomoe Neigh** (a throw that Bon-Bon herself has had to use from time to time and thus was quite familiar with). Whoever that griffin was, it knew how to fight. And it knew how to fight using Maretial Arts. While maretial arts were common enough in Equestria, the fact that a griffin used a form of it puzzled Bon-Bon. After all, the griffins had their own fighting styles...

Putting that thought aside, she looked at the scroll. Fumbling for a moment with the knot that held it shut, she unrolled it. Curious. It was covered in what looked like cutie marks. She unrolled it fully, and discovered that there was empty space at the bottom. Now what would a griffin be needing a scroll covered in cutie marks for? It would make more sense if it was just one mark (if, say, the purpose of the scroll was to list who was in the gang without using Equestrian script), but this scroll was covered with matching sets. Very curious indeed.

Wait.

She recognized some of these. Pausing to look at one mark in particular, she recognized the mark of Bloom Blitzer, Bonnie Bonnet's wayward brother. Looking back at the pile, she wondered if perhaps he was in there. No, she didn't recognize any of these ponies. Looking back, she saw a few others she recognized, though she couldn't recall their names off-hoof. In truth, she suddenly found that she couldn't recall anything at all about them. Not even their gender. But yet, she recognized their marks. She glanced over at the ugly one, her eyes drifting over to his cutie mark. Nothing. Bon-Bon stared for several moments. Then she looked back at the pile. That's right, she suddenly remembered that they were all like that. What in Equestria was going on?

As she thought about this, a wave of exhaustion hit her, and her head dropped and she swayed slightly. It was clear that this would have to wait until tomorrow. Hopefully she and Berry could make some sense of this. And hopefully, they could get to Dodge and Deadmare quickly enough to save Colgate.

Quickly...

Bon-Bon's last action before passing into the land of the sleeping was to look over at the bottle Berry had. If it turned her into a stallion like that, and Lyra into a series of truly useful things...then what abou-

And, just like that, she passed into the world of dreams.

**Tomoe Neigh: a horse-punned version of a Tomoe Nage (Circle Throw). It's a judo throw that involves the thrower to be on their back.

When the sun arose that morning, Berry's eyes stung like fire. Though Bon-Bon was largely unaware of this fact. Mostly because she slept through the sunrise. Had she been aware, she would have been somewhat surprised that Berry had woken up before her. In all honesty, she had expected her to sleep until mid-day or so. As it was however, Berry had managed to awaken before her, and woke up Bon-Bon when poor Bon-Bon became Berry's tripping stone.

“Ahh!” Berry shouted, face-planting into the dirt. Bon-Bon popped awake and was on her hooves in a flash.

“What? What's g-oh. Berry, be a little more careful. You coulda hurt us both.” Bon-Bon said, looking at Berry (who at this point was slowly falling sideways).

“Gat' irgh! Ur ota e carfgo!” same a voice that was all but completely incomprehensible. Fortunately, Bon-Bon was familiar with this dialect, and thus was able to understand what was being said. The question was however, was who said it?

Looking around to see who could have said that, her eyes rested upon the ugly one. It sat there, grinning as if it had not a care in the world. In fact, it almost looked at home being all wrapped up like that. “Oh, you're awake. That's good.” said Bon-Bon.

Berry turned her head towards the sound of that horrible voice. “You could understand that?” she said through a flat face full of dirt.

“Yes.” was all Bon-Bon said.

A silence hung in the air for several moments. “Sooo...” Berry said, getting to a sitting position.

“Yes?” Bon-Bon asked, not breaking her gaze from their prisoner.

“Are you gonna tell me what he said?” Berry asked, almost giving Bon-Bon an elbow nudge.

“He simply said, 'That's right. You gotta be careful.'” Bon-Bon replied flatly. Berry looked between the two of them, puzzled. “I happened to have spent a year in the part of Equestria where he's from, so I learned how to understand him. What I want to know is, what is a pony from Smokey Mountain doing all the way down here?”

“Wait, SMOKEY MOUNTAIN?” Berry said, shocked. Then she paused. “Um...” she looked to the left and right, “Uh … Where are the Smokey Mountains again?” She said, her face becoming slightly more red.

Bon-Bon's hoof met her face, and left with such speed, that the only way Berry even knew it happened was because a hoof-shaped imprint suddenly appeared on Bon-Bon's forehead. “Do you know where Tall Tale is?”

“No...”

“Do you know where Vanhoover is?”

“No...”

“Do you know where Cloudsdale is?”

“It's to the south, right?”

Another hoof-shaped mark suddenly appeared on Bon-Bon's forehead. “You know where Canterlot is, yes?” Bon-Bon said a prayer to Celestia that the answer would be-

“Yes! I Colgate and I went there all the time for parties while she was in school!” Berry said with a triumphant smile.

“Well, keep heading northwest and after you pass Cloudsdale you know you're close half-way to Vanhoover. A little south of that is Smokey Mountain.” Bon-Bon explained. She knew Berry wasn't a stupid pony, but it seem like she was a bit fuzzy on her geography. “Anyway, it's more or less on the opposite side of Equestria. So the fact that he's here tells me that he's traveled a long ways.”

“So, wait, you're saying that everypony that lives at Smokey Mountain talks like that?” Berry said, interrupting Bon-Bon as she opened her mouth to speak to their poor prisoner.

Bon-Bon turned her head slowly to Berry. “No Berry. Not everypony who lives there talks like that. But there is a small village that does. That's where I worked, was in that small place. Now do you have any other questions? Ask them now Berry.” Bon-Bon was feeling a little annoyed by this point.

“Uh...” Berry hesitated.

“Well?” Bon-Bon said coolly, but firmly.

“Nope. I'm good.” Berry said with a little half-smile and an awkward chuckle.

Finally being done with that, Bon-Bon turned her attention back to the hideous pony before them. “What is this?” she asked, holding the scroll up.

“Eg unt ow!” he said.

“What did he say?!” Berry piped up.

“Berry,” Bon-Bon said with a hint of danger in her voice. “I will tell you afterward. Until then, please let me talk to him.”

“Uh, sure. Sorry” Berry took a few steps back and then took a seat on the ground.

“Now then, what do you mean you don't know?” Bon-bon said.

“Eg unt ow! Te os unt sy ntin oo ny oov s! (I don't know! The boss doesn't say anything to us!)” he replied.

“The boss? I assume you're talking about the griffin?”

“esss (yes)” came the reply.

“Your boss left. Would she, he, go back to Deadmare Gully?” Bon-Bon asked. It was clear that there was a second question being asked here. Was that griffin male or female?

“Ot ekly. (Most likely.)” Was all he said back.

Bon-Bon's eye twitched slightly. “Did you know that cave has teleportation magic in it?

“ 'at? (What?)” It was clear that he had no idea.

“I see. This is proving pointless fast. Why would your boss ponynap a unicorn, and what happened to your cutie marks?” Bon-Bon hoped that these questions would yield more fruitful answers.

“ 'H! Tghs he icker ston ack eer! (Ah! There's the kicker question right there!) Os ok 'em. Ok 'em al (Boss took them. Took them all.) Nt ow re ght... (Don't know where though...) 'S ro yr inykn? (As for your unicorn?) el', os's oonah ak er mrk uu. (Well, Boss's gonna take her mark too.)

Took their cutie marks? Bon-Bon unrolled the scroll. “Do any of these look familiar to you?”

“Bon-Bon, where/when did you get that? And why is it covered in cutie marks?” Berry interjected.

“I don't know Berry, that's what I'm trying to figure out.” Bon-Bon said, trying to keep her voice level.

He simply shook his head.

“I see. You said he took your marks. How?”

He looked up and smiled. Bon-Bon hoped that Colgate never saw those teeth. If she had, Bon-Bon feared that Colgate would have gone into a conniption fit. “Egum aid e tn eembr. (I'm afraid I don't remember.)

Bon-Bon snorted. This whole interrogation was proving to be pointless and laborious. “Fine. Last question. How many dragons are there at Deadmare?”

“Sechs (Six)” he said, flinching at the thought.

“I see. Well, that answers most of my questions. Good bye.” Bon-Bon said as she made her way over to him, picked up up, took him over the pile of half-awake bandits, and reattached him to it. It is worth noting that he complained the whole while. However, providing a translation for this dialogue would prove to be most offensive and thus is best left untranslated. Suffice to say, said dialogue was sufficiently offensive enough to make Bon-Bon temporarily lament her ability to understand him (It also involved unflattering things about her mother). “Come on Berry, we have a long day of trotting ahead of us. Let's get going.”

“Wait, we haven't eaten yet.” Berry said, her stomach growling.

“And we won't for the rest of the day. We need to get moving right now. Let's go.” Bon-Bon said, strapping a few items to her pony. She figured that they might have to spend the night before they reached Dodge, so she felt it was wise to stock up on camping gear.

Berry raised a hoof in protest, but let it fall to the grown as she watched Bon-Bon ignore it and begin trotting off. “What about all of these ponies here? We can't just leave them!” Berry shouted as Bon-Bon began making distance from the camp.

“Trust me, yes we can. They'll be fine. Let's go!” Bon-Bon shouted over her shoulder as she picked up her pace.

Berry, looking at the bandits then at Bon-Bon, let out a sigh. “Here, it's not much, but it's something.” She said. Then she left, chasing after Bon-bon who had gotten quite a head-start. The bandits, most of whom were awake by this point. Simply stared at this random stranger's offering.

It was a single bottle of liquor...

Author's Note

Bottom's up!

In speaking of which, would you like a sip? It tastes a little like cherries.

Chapter Two: Part Nine

Chapter Two: Part Nine

Bon-Bon snorted in frustration. The trek back to Dodge had proven to be even more laborious then she had expected. The actual walking part wasn't too bad, for Bon-Bon at least. Berry, on the other hoof, was an entirely different story. She didn't last even one hour before she had begun complaining (37 minutes and 42 seconds to be exact). Bon-Bon had never known Berry to be a complainer before, but then again, she had never known Berry to be this sober before. Near as she could tell, Berry had been sober since last night (Bon-Bon was sure that was a record for her). So, seeing her like this was something of a new experience. The mare had started simply enough. She had complained about being thirsty. It wasn't long until hunger kicked in. Then it was the sun. Then it was the dust. Then it was the glaring sun. Then it was the glaring sun that somehow manged to get through the thick cloud of dust. Then it was the dust-storm. Then it was the sandstorm. Then it was-

“STOP!” Bon-Bon finally shouted, turning as Berry had begun to dance (to shake off the sand you see).

Berry stood still for a moment, jaw agape. There was silence for a moment. “Stop what?” Berry asked innocently.

“Just-stop-COMPLAINING!” Bon-Bon said, loosing her composure for a moment.

“But I'm no-”

“YES YOU ARE.” Bon-Bon cut off Berry's meek reply. “For crying out loud, just … stop. Please.” Her eyes looking at Berry with a mixture of pleading and commanding.

“Well … my bad.” Berry responded. “I mean, I thought that if I said something that we could stop and, you know, take a rest?” she said, a hopeful question in her eyes.

“No Berry. We can't. We need to get to Dodge as quickly as we can. Lyra's probably waiting for us, and if we don't hurry, she'll probably come looking for us.” Bon-Bon said as she began taking breaths to clam herself.

“But, why? Why do we need to get to Dodge so quickly? What's going on Bon-Bon? You act like you know exactly what's going on and what to do about it. Why? How? And how in Equestria do you know about this Deadmare gully place, let alone that there are Dragons there!” Berry shot back.

“Berry … now's not the time.” Bon-Bon's voice became surprisingly dangerous. Unbeknownst to her, Berry suddenly wished that it had been Colgate talking. Colgate's dangerous voice was always great for a laugh, and Berry often would agitate the poor mare just to hear it.

“BB, we've been walking for hours and we still have a long ways to go. We have nothing BUT time!” Berry insisted.

“What did you just say?” Bon-Bon said, her eyes narrowing.

“I said we have nothing but time. I mean-”

“No,” Berry suddenly looked very uncomfortable at how Bon-Bon said that, “the part before that.”

“Uh...” Berry stumbled, “About how we've been walking for hours?”

“No. Before that.” her voice becoming close to threatening.

“Uh...” Berry hesitated, “B … B?” she ventured.

“I don't recall giving you permission to call me that.” Bon-Bon growled.

“I, uh … sorry?” Berry took a step back.

“Do not say that again. I like to think that we are friends Berry, do not change that fact.” Bon-Bon said, far too seriously. In all honesty, Bon-Bon had not meant to come off so meanly. In fact, had she her wish, they would have laughed about it and gone on their way. As it was however, Berry had hit a nerve.

A very bad nerve.

Bon-Bon shook her head, and suddenly looked much less scary. “I'm sorry Berry. I … don't know what came over me. It's just that, and I don't know why, but when ponies call me that, I get so angry. I remember the first time Lyra called me that. She thought it was funny that I got so mad, and she kept calling me that.” Bon-Bon once more shook her head, but with a smile on her face.

“What happened?” Berry asked, relaxing a little.

“Well, let's just say that it took the town hours to find her lyre, weeks for us to get out of the hospital, and months for the music shop to fix her poor instrument.” Bon-Bon reminisced. It was a distant memory now.

“Wait, WEEKS?” Berry said, her jaw opening.

Bon-Bon chuckled a little. She still remembered it like it was yesterday. What a brawl it was. She wondered if that poor street in Canterlot had finished repairing all of the pony shaped imprints the two of them made in the street and in the walls. She recalled the headlines of the next day: 'Pony-Pocalypse in Downtown Canterlot! Celestia in shock, awe!' Once she had regained her senses, reporters were all over her, trying everything they could to get an interview (There was even one reporter who tired to strap a mic and a camera to a Breezie and send it through their window. It actually would have succeeded had a guard-pony not sneezed at just the wrong moment.). Thankfully, Celestia had the good judgment to place guards around her and Lyra's rooms until they left the hospital and went home.

Thinking back on it, Bon-Bon suddenly felt puzzled. When the Princess had asked her why she had done it, she had told her it was because Lyra had called her 'BB' over and over, and that for some reason she just lost it. Bon-Bon was shocked when the Princess simply gave a thoughtful nod. That was it. She never ordered them to be punished, or imprisoned, or anything. They didn't even have to cover the costs of the damages they had caused (save that poor cart of quills that was bound for Ponyville, but even then they covered it because they felt simply terrible about the fact that most of the poor pony's quills had ended up in their hides). Now that she thought about it, it all seemed really strange. Granted, she knew the Princess was known for having a forgiving nature, but even that seemed a bit extreme for Her.

“Bon-Bon?” Berry asked, interrupting her thoughts. “You ok? You just kinda stopped talking.”

“Huh? Y-yeah. I just … I don't know. It seems kinda weird to me.” Bon-Bon began walking once more.

“What does?”

“Well, after we practically destroyed a part of the town, the Princess questioned us about it.”

“Was she mad?” Berry asked, a hint of excitement in her voice. She did always enjoy just a little gossip every now and again (a thing that Bon-Bon had long ago decided she had no time for.)

“No. Not at all. In fact, she seemed almost like she was half-expecting it, and was okay with it.” This train of thought began to bother her slightly.

“Well, perhaps you guys trashed a part of the city that needed renovating anyway! You know, perhaps you two ended up saving them a whole bunch of bits on deconstruction costs!” Berry said, with a big smile on her face.

Somehow, Bon-Bon doubted that.

It was not long before midnight when two visitors came knocking on Lyra's door. Unable to contain her excitement, she lept from her bed and soared through the air like a majestic mint-green swan. Gravity, and her still weak and frail frame, had other plans. So, contrary to her desire of throwing open the door to give (what she assumed were) her friends a hug, she instead ended up giving the ground her warm affections. While the floor was indeed all too happy to receive her warm hug, it knew that it was not meant to be the recipient, and thus was enveloped in a sense of bittersweet love. But the floor's feelings are not important. Rather, what is, is who had come to visit Lyra, and why it was that Lyra was so weak.

Looking up, She saw the silhouettes of two ponies in the doorway. As her eyes focused, she realized, to her disappointment, she did not recognize these ponies. It was a stallion and a mare that she had never seen before. They looked at her in surprise.

“You ok?” the mare asked.

“Uh, yeah...” Lyra said, her head-emptiness returning.

“Like a hoof?” asked the stallion, extending his hoof.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks.” Lyra grabbed it and stood on her wobbly legs. She could only hold it for a moment before they gave out. Luckily, it was about this time one of the resident nurses approached the two ponies in the doorway. She had opened her mouth to begin protesting them blocking the door when she saw Lyra's legs give out. Acting quickly, she used her magic and grabbed several pillows from a near-by bed and threw them under Lyra before she hit the ground again. Once again, the floor felt happy to have somepony appreciate it, or so it had thought. Had it known Lyra's true feelings for it, its poor wooden heart would have broken in half.

“Excuse me!” the nurse insisted as she shoved her way past the two. Looking down at Lyra she shook her head. “I know you're excited to see your friends, but you need to stop jumping out of the bed every time somepony knocks or opens that door. Here, let me help you.” The nurse lifted Lyra from her position on the ground to leaning next to the bed, then onto the bed proper. “Ms. Heartstrings, you can't keep doing this. You've got to get your rest. Doctor's orders.”

Lyra let out a sigh. Ok, it wasn't really her room per say. Rather, it was the patient room at the Dodge Junction Clinic. It wasn't a very big clinic, and so all of the patent beds were located in one long room at one end of the clinic. Total there were about 20 beds in the room, each separated by a heavy curtain. There was one entrance/exit to the room, and across from that was the bed Lyra had been on since the train had arrived just the other day. Or was it last night? Two nights? Lyra wasn't too sure. Time had passed in a very funny way since she had been admitted.

Though most of the time she did feel like it was her own room. There were only two other patents in there, and both of them were more or less at the other ends of it. Not to mention that they were quiet as mice. The only noise anypony made was when a visitor would come, then poor Lyra would once more leap from her bed, and once more end up hugging the floor.

Given that this happened several times, once can understand how the floor could end up getting the wrong impression.

Tonight's visitors exchanged confused glances. “Uh, nurse, we were told our little foal was here?” the stallion said.

“Huh? Oh! You must be Mr. and Ms. Tot-Lure. Yes, please, right this way.” The nurse said pleasantly, leading them to the left. Lyra crossed her front legs and harumphed, blowing a bit of hair out of her eyes. It didn't take long until she heard the cries of a joyous family reunion taking place. The nurse left the family to be, informing them that she would be back in a bit to escort them (the parents) out so that the other patents could get some rest. Lyra overheard how the parents had heard about the train accident and had come as quickly as they could.

“Were you scared?” she heard the mother ask.

“Nawp! I ad Da GAITH and POWAPUL Trikz and Radbow Gash!” came just the cutest little voice she had eve-Hey! That was the foal from the train! She turned her head to the sound.

“Oh good, I'm glad.” replied the mother.

“Mommy and Daddy have to go bye-bye for the night, but we'll be back first thing in the morning, ok?” the stallion said, fighting back tears. Lyra's heart melted slightly.

“Otay!” came the very enthusiastic response. And with that, she heard the two of them walk out while talking softly to each other. They were understandably concerned and spent most of their time wishing that they could spend the night here. Lyra smiled. Hearing them put her in a good mood. While it was kinda sad that a child had ended up in a clinic, the fact that the little foal had such caring parents plucked the 'ol heartstrings.

The whole encounter made her think of her own folks. Well, her folk. Her father. She never knew her mother. Her father had adopted her from a foal-phanage in Filly Delphia. She remembered that she had been pretty scared the first time he brought her home, but he treated her like a little princess. He was a humble pony. He lived in a humble apartment and had a humble job. He never married, not for lack of trying though. And he usually had girlfriends who were nice to Lyra. But, for one reason or another, things just never worked out. And while Lyra often wished for a mother in the home, her father did what he could to fill the role. Thinking about him made her smile all the more. She made a note to contact him once they all got back to Ponyville. Granted, she knew that he would most likely have an aneurysm over the idea of his little girl getting into so much trouble. But they both knew that deep down inside, he would be proud of her. Just like the time when she joined up with th-

Knock Knock

Once more the floor felt the love, as poor Lyra lept from her bed and crashed onto it.

“Oh for crying out loud, get up Lyra!” came a voice that she knew all too well. Grinning uncontrollably from ear to ear, She looked up at the doorway to see two mares silhouetted against the light of the hallway. And she would know one of those silhouettes from anywhere.

“BON-BON!” Lyra shouted with tears in her eyes.

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “I've been gone for a day and a half, calm down.” After a moment's pause, she then added softy, “It's good to see you too Lyra.”

Lyra made to stand once more, but was interrupted when a sudden swarm of pillows knocked her legs out from under her. “Ms Heartstrings! Would you PLEASE stop doing that? You need to rest!” the nurse all but shouted. Lyra opened her mouth in protest, but was cut of by the nurse who had once again shoved her way into the room. “No objections young lady!” The nurse once more helped her to the bed, then turned to the two standing in the doorway. “Pardon me, who are you here to see again?”

“Her.” Said Bon-Bon, pointing a hoof at Lyra (who grinned even wider in response).

“I see. And your names?”

“Bon-Bon and Berry Punch.” Berry said. The nurse nodded as she pulled out a notepad and took a note.

Wait, where was Colgate?

“I'm sorry, it's just that ever since she woke up, she's been doing that every time somepony comes knocking. It's been driving all of us here at the clinic nuts! Anycase, I'm glad you finally came, perhaps now she'll stop jumping out of bed.” She turned to Lyra, “Am I right Ms. Heartstrings?” she said rather firmly.

“Yes mam.” Lyra replied somewhat timidly (it was an act, but the nurse bought it. Lyra had plenty of experience with this sort of thing.)

“Good. Now you two are allowed some brief visitation time, then I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to return in the morning. The patients here need their rest.” the nurse said kindly as she left (but not without shooting a quick 'I've got my eyes on you' look at Lyra on her way out).

There was a moment of silence that hung in the air. It was a pleasant silence. It was filled with an expectation that the next words would be good words. Kind words. The words exchanged by friends who have been absent from each other for far too long.

For Lyra anyway. Berry was feeling a bit more antsy about it, and Bon-Bon simply stood there stoically, her expression changing from the warm smile, to an unreadable look of business.

Finally, Lyra asked the question. “Where's Colgate?”

“She's gone.” Bon-Bon said flatly. Lyra knew that tone. It was the tone Bon-Bon took when the time for action, not words, was upon them. Or, in other words, when horseapples became very real (or hit the fan. Personally, she was somewhat more fond of the latter phrase).

If she was using that tone, then Lyra knew that life was about to get exciting indeed. “I see. Where is she?” Lyra replied in a similar voice. Bon-Bon actually had several serious business voices she would use. And depending on which one she used, Lyra was able to quickly guess the both the nature and severity of the situation on hoof. In this case, it was clear that Colgate was in very real danger and that it would fall upon them to save her.

“Foalnapped.”

“When?”

“Train.”

“Where?”

“Deadmare”

“When?”

“First light.”

“Alright.” Lyra said with a small nod. When it came to matters this important, their communication was always short and to the point.

“Hold on,” Berry said. “What just happened?” she looked between the two of them with some confusion. Wait, was Berry sober? She must be. Berry never questioned things like this.

“Lyra, you tell her, I'm going to get things ready.” Bon-Bon replied, mildly annoyed, and then left.

Berry then turned to Lyra, a look of expectation on her face.

“Well, I mean, did you really not get what we just said?” Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you guys just said it so fast!” Berry objected.

“Oh, right.” Lyra forgot for a moment that it was difficult (by design) for other ponies to understand her and Bon-Bon when they were being that serious. Granted, if you could keep up with what them, it wasn't hard to understand, but that whole exchange took place in just over 1 ¾ seconds. Slow for the two of them, it would seem that they were a little out of practice. By contrast, it would take a normal pony roughly 3-4 seconds to have that exchange. “Well, basically, she just told me that Colgate got foalnapped when the train got attacked and that she thinks that she's at Deadmare gully. And,” she sighed slightly, “that we're leaving at first light to go there.”

Berry looked at her with a bit of awe, or was that confusion? “You guys said all that, that quickly?”

“Yeah. Bon-Bon and I had to figure out a way to talk to each other fast, too fast for anypony to understand.” Lyra shrugged.

Berry shook her head. “Why?” she was definitely confused.

“Well...” she paused. “I … uh … don't really remember what it was exactly that made us do that …” Which was indeed true. Lyra couldn't recall what event caused their need to talk like that. There was however, a bit more to the story then that, but that was something Berry didn't need to know.

“Oh … I see,” Berry looked disappointed. “Hey, Lyra?” Berry said after several moments of silence, “Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did!” Lyra said with a grin.

“Lyra!” Berry nearly shouted.

“Sure, what's up?”

“Look, I asked Bon-Bon about this while we were coming back, but, well, after I called her 'BB' by accident she just kinda stayed quiet the whole time.”

“Wait, you called her 'BB'?” Lyra was shocked. “What happened?”

“Well, not much. She just got kinda upset and told me about what happened when you called her that.” Berry simply shrugged. Lyra was glad. It looked like Bon-Bon was getting better about it after all. While both she and Bon-Bon remember that with smiles on their faces, going through that wasn't nearly as fun.

“That's good. So what's up?”

“Well, it's just that Bon-Bon always seems like she knows what's going on. Like, how does she know about Deadmare? And how would she know that Dragons would be there?”

“Wait, there are dragons at Deadmare? That's gonna suck...” Lyra's displeasure of the news clearly showed on her face.

“See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! I've never even heard of Deadmare, let alone know why it's a bad thing that dragons are there! How do you two know? What do you know? What's going on?” Berry's voice was getting a bit desperate. It was clear that this all bothered her greatly.

Lyra was a little confused herself. She was a bit out of the loop. She had been, after all, stuck in the clinic for the past day an a half. However, she had a feeling that she knew what Berry was really asking. “Look Berry, I don't know what happened to the three of you, I've been cooped up in this clinic since the train pulled in, so I can't really help you there, but at least I can tell you about Deadmare.” Lyra's head began to feel vacant again.

It was a really strange feeling, and not a very pleasant one at that. It felt like the opposite of pain, but not. Like, a massive headache that felt like her head was imploding rather then exploding. She'd been feeling like that on and off since they finally got that cloth off of her horn. From what the doctor had told her, it had proved to be extremely hard. Attempts to remove it via magic flat-out failed and often caused some kind of backlash. Attempting to remove it by hoof caused one of the poor nurses to end up as a patient for a short time, as it had caused the poor pony to go flying through a wall (see below for a commentary on the structural integrity of Equestrian walls). Attempts to remove it using tools met with similar fates of the poor ponies using them, but with much more mild results. It wasn't until a griffin, that worked there from time to time as a visiting doctor, had tried to remove it had the operation proven successful.

Once the cloth had been removed, Lyra had awoken, but found herself completely drained. She didn't even have enough energy to eat, literally. Her body did not have enough energy for digestion. Let alone using magic. When she did get enough strength back to try using magic, she found out that she was unable to. Her attempts to do so simply felt like they had been sucked into a hole in her horn. As time passed however, it felt as though said hole was slowly getting filled, and she was getting more and more of her energy back. As for the cloth on her horn, it had been sent back to Canterlot for examination.

“What do you want to know?” Lyra asked.

“What can you tell me?” she responded.

“Oh colt … this is going to take awhile. Get comfy …” she began.

*Note on walls in Equestria: Walls in Equestria serve their purpose quite nicely. They hold out and in the various things that they are supposed to. And, on the whole, have proven to be quite resilient. That said, there is a most curious phenomenon that occurs when a pony is propelled with any significant amount of force into one of these walls. Normally, the pony in question should simply and harmlessly (harmless to the wall mind you) bounce off with nary a scratch to the wall. However, scientific observation had yielded a most curious event indeed. As the pony projectile approaches the wall, the mass of the pony in question is increased by an exponent equal or greater to the force with which they were propelled. Now, this dramatic increase in mass occurs only within hairs of the wall. And, once the target had made contact with the wall, the mass quickly dissipates into the wall, thus causing pony-shaped imprints and holes. This phenomenon is occurs more then once if the subject passes through one wall and into another. However, the mass accumulated for the second impact is much less as much of the force of propulsion was absorbed by the first wall. So, it is theoretically possible for a pony to pass through multiple walls, but in practice said event would prove to be rare indeed.

Author's Note

I seem to enjoy punching holes and creating other imprints in the walls of the pony folk. So I felt it necessary to offer an scientific insight into the physics involved.

Chapter Two: Part Ten

Chapter Two: Part Ten

Colgate opened her eyes to the sound of a dripping noise. Her senses tingled quite a bit and she found herself unsure for a moment which way was up. There was no light around her, save the diminutive light that her ex-torch gave off. She wasn't sure where the noise was coming from, as she could heard the noise from just about every direction. Perhaps she was hearing several drips at once? She cocked her head to the side, listening. No, it was one drip that echoed. She gathered that she must be in a cavern of some sort, though where she could only guess. She poked the ground cautiously before her, hoping to find some solid ground.

Well, despite the dripping noise, the floor seemed to be nice and dry. Level as well, as the ground where she poked was the same level as the ground she was standing on. She took a cautious step forward. Poking once more into the darkness, she found that the ground continued to be flat. She took another careful step. Looking down, she saw that the plank was nearly out. It glowed a very faint red as the last of the heat begun to fade away. She was suddenly reminded of that time her parents enrolled her into the Filly Scouts (They would have enrolled her in the proper organization, but a pair of questionable sales ponies convinced her parents to enroll her in their cheaper offshoot program). She always hated those camp outs. The stargazing was fantastic, and she showed an aptitude for astrological knowledge that always astounded the other ponies and fillies. So much so that she had stopped sharing her knowledge because it caused the ponies to ask her why her cutie mark wasn't a star or some such.

Gently pressing on the unburnt end of the plank, she lifted the smoldering part of the plank off the ground. Getting her face somewhat close, she began to blow gently into the little red coals that were fading. They flared for a moment with new life, then dimmed once more. Breathing in, she gently blew once more to give the fire a little more air. Once more they flared, this time slightly brighter then the last. A third time she blew, and a tiny flame kicked up and then vanished. Colgate was pleased. After a few more breaths, she finally got a lasting flame to appear. She waited a moment to ensure that it would last, and to see if it would spread. Success! Looking away from the fire, she closed her eyes a moment to adjust them to the dim light.

When she opened them, she could feel her pupils shrink just a little as they struggled to take in what little light there was. She let out a gasp. Near her was a desk of some kind. On it she could see several pieces of paper and what looked to be scrolls.

Scrolls with cutie marks.

She lifted her torch off the ground and looked left and right. She was surrounded by dozens upon dozens of barrels. They were stacked high, and following them with her eyes, she could see that they reached the ceiling. The ceiling itself was made of stone, and it looked to be just over three barrels high. Once again, not being well versed in geology, it was hard to tell if it was natural or not, particularly given the dim light she had.

In speaking of which, she caught a flame out of the corner of her eye. It seemed that the flames were climbing up the plank a bit faster then she had expected and were a bit too close to her face for comfort. Looking around, she hoped to spot something she could use to get more light. On the desk, she spotted two used candles. Moving quickly, she lit them then spit the plank onto the bare ground. Not a moment too soon either, as the flames began to surround the last of the plank and burn it black. In one final flare of light, the plank gave Colgate one last chance to get a good look around her, then died into a glowing mass of red embers. She turned her attention once more to the desk.

It was simple enough. Two levels, a few drawers, and covered with several ink wells and quite a few quills. She could see that the papers on the desk had writing on them, though she didn't know the script. However, she did recognize the drawings. Aside from what appeared to be doodles of angry faces chasing what appeared to be faces with hearts for eyes (which faces she noted were griffin faces), she recognized what appeared to be drawings of square patches of cloth. Most were in black in white, but a few were in color. The squares had what looked like lines coming off of them with more writing next to the lines. It was obvious to Colgate that these lines were pointing at and describing various parts of the cloth. She begun to flip through the pages, noticing that most of the pages had at least one drawing of a piece of cloth. The more papers she dug through, the older and more amateurish these drawings seemed to get. (This too accounted for the silly doodles, as almost every page had them. Though she noticed that there seemed to almost be a story being told, but backwards. It would seem that one face would drown the other in hearts, and the second would retaliate by producing all sorts of odd things to hit the other face with. This continued until she found what seemed to be the first doodle with both faces [at this point very crude and without any real defining traits], kissing one another.)

At the bottom of the pile she found what looked to be a list. Once more, the script was foreign, but at least it was neat. Glancing across it, she could tell that one column seemed to made up of numbers. One number would repeat row after row until about the 20th or so time, and then it would change. It was a long list, and heading to the bottom, she saw that it was still being made. She suddenly had a hunch. Looking around, she spotted a barrel that was not yet stacked tucked next to a full stack. Walking over to it, she pushed it over and rolled it to the desk. She looked carefully at the side of it. Nothing. She rolled it over slowly. Ah ha! There was a matching symbol! She quickly grabbed the list and began running through it looking for its match. It was in the column of numbers, and it was one of the numbers towards the bottom of the list. Perfect! Now to open it...

She paused. How does one open a barrel? Now, she'd opened plenty of barrels in her life before. For some odd reason, the ponies who delivered her anesthetics and her favorite mouthwash products always used barrels. Not that they would fill them with the bottles, but they would just pour the liquids directly into them. Colgate was very puzzled by this, and whenever she asked why they did as such, the delivery pony would simply shrug, brush her blond mane out her eyes, and be on her way. After about the 45th or 46th time, she had written to her suppliers demanding that they explain this silly practice to her. In typical corporate fashion, they sent her a letter consisting of 5 pages of lovely fluff and flowery language (literally you see, for componies often hired talking flowers [a recent addition to Equestrian society thanks to a small farmer filly that shall remain unnamed] into their Customer Service departments) that ultimately said something to the effect of: “What you talkin' 'bout? You be cray cray.” She simply shook her head at the memory.

So she knew how to open barrels … with magic. She stared blankly at it. She couldn't recall how pegasus ponies or earth ponies opened these blasted things. She looked it up and down. She set it up on end. She poked it. She tapped the top. She spun it in place. She knocked it over. She rolled it across the ground. She kicked it. She tripped over it. It rolled over her. She picked it up (it was a bit heavier then expected). She tossed it into a stack of stacked barrels. Then she ran for the far end of the room to avoid the tumbling tower.

With a loud crash and the sound of splintering wood, a few barrels burst open. Carefully making her way over to the crash site, she looked to see what lay inside (being thankful all the while for the fact that the candles managed to remain lit through all of that). The ones that burst, were filled with scrolls.

She didn't need to open them to know what was on them. Walking back over to the list on the desk, she began to get a quick count of each row, for she figured that each row must be the name, gender, and species of a pony. Sure enough, as she glanced it over, she saw that two of the columns used only two different words. Though which one was gender and which was race she could only guess. The last column was a mystery, as was the first. One she figured was the name, and the other one? Perhaps it was the pony's special talent.

There was well over a hundred, if not two hundred rows.

Colgate dropped the list as the number hit her. She took a few steps back, but then paused. An odd calm washed over her. An odd feeling of reassurance, if not confidence, that everything was going to turn out … interesting. Colgate paused. 'Interesting' wasn't usually what she would consider a reassuring word. Still, it calmed her down a bit and allowed her to think for a moment. What else was in this desk? And what did the cloth drawings mean?

Taking a second, and closer look, she realized that most of the earlier drawings were of the same cloth. However, it seemed that somewhat recently more then one cloth began to show up. She realized that some of the drawings were comparing two cloths. Finally, she came upon a drawing that showed a small tear in one of the cloths, with a line pointing to the cloth. Though she couldn't read it, the fact that the writing was thicker, and almost panicked looking, told her that ripping these things meant bad things. She begun to open the drawers to look inside. There, on the top of what looked to be a pile of papers, lie an extremely old looking piece of paper, that was covered with writing both old and new all along its edges. In the center, a dark red square with a dirty gold border.

She immediately recognized this as the cloth the griffin used to remove cutie marks. This paper was free of the romantic hijinks of face one and face two, but still had what looked to be little ponies drawn here and there. Then something caught her eye. Near the top, there was a line pointing to what looked like a tear that the artist had drawn onto the square. On the line it showed what looked like ghostly form of a cutie mark flying out of it, with a repeated symbol she didn't recognize next to it. It was repeated three times, with one last but different symbol at the end (that is, assuming this script read in the same direction that Equestrian did). This was an old drawing, if she had to guess.

Further digging yielded nothing else save what appeared to be a full blown comic of face one and face two engaging in what seemed to be a love story of some kind, though in this comic they had actual bodies to accompany their faces (which, given the artist's skill, was a shame. The faces had been quite charming, and rather cute, but the poorly drawn bodies kinda killed the magic).

Her ear twitched. Drip. She had managed to more or less ignore the dripping sound to this point, but now that her barrel fun time was over, she could clearly hear it once more. Drip. She winced. Drip. She looked at the candle holders. Sadly, these ones were not made for ponies to hold, for they were simple candlesticks. Still, seeing the world sideways seemed like a small price for Colgate to be able to travel with some light.

As she opened her mouth and went to reach for the candle, there was a sudden noise behind her. It was a loud pop noise that startled her, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor. The whole room lit up for a moment, then as quickly as it all happened, the noise and light all vanished. She turned around, and saw in the middle of the floor what looked to be a burning plank of wood. How the...?

She ran over to it. It looked like any other plank of wood that was partly on fire. As least to her. She didn't major into Pyro-Flora Forensics like her university roommate did. Still, it had teleported to here, or at least Colgate was sure of such. Had it come from the campsite? She looked around. If this is where she came in, then perhaps she could use this way to get out!

Drip. She twitched once more at the sound. Drip. WHAT WAS THAT? She looked around, trying desperately to locate the source. Then something suddenly dawned on her. She had no idea if this place even had a way out. If she couldn't teleport back, how would she get out? Perhaps there was a path between all of these barrels she missed, or perhaps a ladder or trap door. She began walking along the side of the neatly stacked barrels, hoping to see an opening or a gap.

After nearly walking in a complete circle, she finally found what looked to be a path. Sad thing it was however, that she had accidentally collapsed part of it when she had begun her career as a barrel tosser (said sport was surprisingly popular among farmer ponies, with Applejack and Big Mac often in the top two slots for their region). Her heart sank as she looked at the blocked pathway and the many barrels that now lay at dangerous angles, or lie broken and splintered upon the ground. She figured that she could try and clear it out, but a lot of those things looked as though they would fall right upon her head if she even so much as breathed on them.

So, turning her att-drip. She froze. Her eyes shrank to almost pin points, and her left eye began twitching madly. WHERE WAS IT COMING FROM? She turned back to the blocked path. Was it worth it? No, if she could somehow figure out how the teleportation spell worked, then she wouldn't have to deal with this horrible-

Then, all at once, her ears will filled with the sounds of hundreds of drips, all at once. Wait, drips don't happen in the hundreds, it just sounds like rain at that point. So why did it sound like hundreds of individual drips? Tilting her head, she closed her eyes, focused on listening for more.

Drip.

No, not a drip. It was close, but it wasn't quite the same. She waited for a second one...

Tink.

Ha! There! It wasn't a drip at all! It was the sound of something metal! Then she paused. The tinking sounds had been steady, almost rhythmic. Dripping water she could see doing that, but how could something metallic be keeping up such a steady rhythm? Well, for all she knew, somepony could just be hiding somewhere in this room hitting a pipe on the floor. Though, for some odd reason, she doubted that. Whatever. It wasn't important. Once she got out of here, then she wouldn't have to deal with that anymore.

So, turning her attention once more to where she teleported in, she made her way over to one of the candles. Turning her head sideways, she grabbed the candlestick with her teeth, then (head still sideways) made her way over to the spot. Bringing her head low, she looked carefully at the ground. Nothing unusual here (save the scorch marks from two pitiful pony-made plank-torches). She looked up at the ceiling. The dim light did little to illuminate it, but from what she could see it looked perfectly normal as well. There were no walls to look at, for all around the spot were walls of barrels. She let out a sigh (well, one through clenched teeth, as she had no wish to drop the candle). Looks like she had no choice in the matter. She would have to dig her way out. She was no Princess Twilight, or even a minor in Unicorn Magic. Such spells were beyond her. If you wanted to know about the 435 most common gum-related illnesses and injuries, she could tell you about that. If you wanted to know about brush sizes and firmness, she could advise you on that. If you wanted to know how many visible celestial bodies there were in the visible sky (she often liked to joke that there was only one), she, at one time could have told you. But when it came to matters of advanced magic, she knew very little.

After replacing the candlestick on the desk, she stared once more at the partly caved-in pathway. Well, it's not gonna clear itself. So, rolling up her sleeves (she didn't actually have any sleeves on at the moment, but you can bet your rusty horseshoes that if she did they would be very much rolled up!), she set to work.

In the course of a few hours, she managed two notable things. First, she managed to have her poor noggin knocked about by no less then 5 heavy barrels. 3 of which had landed directly onto her, 1 of which had sideswiped her skull, and the last she had managed to ram when she slipped off the top of another barrel she was standing on. Now, her stumbling was not entirely her fault. The barrel she had stood on had turned out (despite its appearance) to be rather rotted. This caused the other notable thing to occur. When her head violently struck the poor barrel, her horn had managed to impale itself directly into the wood.

Now, unicorn horns are known to be three things. One, is surprisingly durable. Thus, it is never wise to get into a headbutting match with one. Two, magical. There is little doubt that a unicorn's horn is an important part of their magic. Three, incredibly sensitive. This fact is not as widely known, but it doesn't change the fact it's very, very true. And in Colgate's current situation, rather painfully so.

You see, unicorn horns hold within them a natural resilience to pain. If the horn should get struck, hit, or otherwise be inflicted with pain, the unicorn's body automatically activates various magics to not only kill the pain, but to support the horn to ensure that there is no major harm done. So, normally, a unicorn only feels a quick flash of pain, and then all is relevantly well.

For poor magic-less Colgate, there was only pain. As her horn pierced the side of the barrel, she let out a mighty yelp. All of a sudden, she could only think of one thing: Get my horn out! Bracing her front and rear legs against the barrel, she pushed as hard as she could. More pain greeted her as it felt as though her horn was going to get pulled right off. Gritting her teeth, she yanked again, though even harder. She felt the wood lighten its grip slightly. Pausing for a moment to gather her courage for one final heave, she gave it her all.

And wound up stuck into another barrel. She had freed herself alright, but she had been careless and had accidentally launched herself from one barrel, right into another. She let out a roar of frustration and anger, and then quite suddenly (and literally) the barrel exploded. She lay there, very confused for several moments. Then, all at once, her head felt as though somepony had stuck several water hoses into it and turned them on full blast. However, rather then feeling like her head was going to explode, it felt as though her head was going from empty to full. It was incredible. She had never felt such a rush before in her life. It was as though something that had been rightfully hers all along was being given back, all at once. She felt giddy, happy, dizzy, elated, and a bit nauseous. Getting to her hooves, she surveyed the scene. Sure enough. The barrel her horn had just been stuck in was nothing more then shrapnel. Looking at the barrel she had first been stuck in, she paused, then let out a mighty cheer.

The cloth was stuck in the hole her horn had made.

To say she was elated was a very mild understatement indeed. So giddy was she that she began hopping up and down right there on the spot. Even more giddy yapping noises began escaping her mouth as she began dancing about with glee. If there was a hall-of-fame for happiness moments in all of pony history, this wouldn't quite make it (but that's mostly because most of the slots would be taken up by Twilight and her friends), but it would come pretty darn close.

So happy was she with herself that she simply had no idea how to even control her own actions. It took great effort to avoid ramming into things as she darted hither and thither. Finally, after some time, she finally managed to calm herself (though she still had a massive grin stamped on her face). Now that her magic was back, she felt much better about things. First order of business: Getting out of here.

Now that she could stand a safe distance away from the blocking barrel-cade, she made much quicker work of clearing the pathway. It felt so good to have her magic back. Granted, it hadn't been that long since it had gone, but it had been long enough. She supposed that a pegasus who'd lost flight and gained it back, or an earth pony losing their ability to grow food, would have felt the same.

As she placed the last barrel out of the way, she appraised the pathway. It seemed straight forward, though she couldn't quite tell where it lead to. She squinted, then suddenly got a bright idea. Closing her eyes for a moment, her horn filled the room with light. Opening them once more, she took in the room once more.

Well, it was still full of barrels. Though now she could seem them better then ever. However, the area where she teleported in from was very different. For one, she noticed a glowing circle on both the floor and the ceiling directly above it, both of which were the color of her magic. Secondly, she saw under those circles what appeared to be very, very faint black lines. She thought for a moment. It was probably safe to assume that if she stepped into that circle, that she would end up back at the camp.

Tink.

However, her curiosity got the better of her. While it's true that the wiser option would have been to (presumably) teleport back, tell her friends, report this place to the authorities, and then proceed onto Hayseed swamp, there was a terrible 'tinking' noise that she that she needed to investigate. Besides, it seemed as though the teleportation spell was activated by her magic, or this side of it at least. As she thought of it, her idea to explore suddenly seemed more like a good one. What if she couldn't get the camp side of the spell to work, thus not allowing her to return to this room? She had no idea where this place was, so perhaps the best idea was to try and figure out where 'here' was, and then head back.

Clearly, this was the wis-

Tink.

That's it! She had just about enough of that! Turning away from the circle, she went down the pathway. It turned abruptly, and just around the bend she saw a stairway that led up. Deciding that some measure of stealth was wise (never mind all the massive amounts of noise she had made earlier), she dimmed her horn a bit as she begun climbing the stairs.

The stairs themselves were rather boring. Simple stairs cut from stone, they were functional and simple, and she could see the top from the bottom. Was it mentioned that the stairs were simple? At the top of them was was looked to be a door. Making her way somewhat quietly to the door, she turned off her light as she gave the door a gentle push. Somewhat to her surprise, it opened. Stepping in, she took a look around. It was dark in this chamber, but she knew she was not the only one here. The first thing that hit her was heat. Then, she could hear the sounds of heavy breathing. Low, steady, and massive, and after each exhale, she heard a loud 'tink'. Curiosity getting the better of her, she closed her eyes once more, and her horn glowed.

It took roughly 0.83173 seconds for her to realize that was a bad idea. For, you see, she suddenly discovered what was making the horrible tinking sound. The door lead to what looked like a massive chamber, and taking up most of it, was a massive dragon. Well, the dragon itself wasn't making the tinking noise. Rather, it was partly covered in a massive pile of gold, and every time it breathed out, a coin would slide off of it and land on the ground. So startled by this sight was Colgate that she took a step back, tripped, and tumbled down the stairs. She hit the bottom of the stairs with a hard thud, got to her hooves, and stumbled into the barrel room. A dragon … She was under a massive dragon! She staggered towards the circle, but fell short. Oh yeah, she suddenly remembered what her poor body remembered: That she hadn't had any rest for the past long while. Not to mention the experience of losing and regaining one's magic. Add to that the 6 knocks to her noggin (she swore to herself that if this continued, she was going to get a helmet and never take it off), and the small number of hours she spent heaving heavy barrels, and you get one very, very exhausted pony.

She raised a hoof in an attempt to reach for the circle, but found that she didn't even quite have the energy for that. Well, at least a cold hard stone floor didn't make for that bad of a bed … right?

The last thing she saw before she passed into the world of sleep was the soft glow of the candles as they softly burnt themselves out.

What she didn't know however, was that the circle had gone dark when she left, and had stayed that way when she came back. Nor did she see that some hours after she had fallen asleep, that they had lit once more, and that something had come through...

Author's Note

I like to imagine Colgate ran about like a little doggy going "Yip yip yip yip!" over and over. I don't believe that's what actually occurred, but I like to pretend it did.

Chapter Two: Part Eleven

Chapter Two: Part Eleven

Dear Princess Twilight,

I am sending you this letter via Spike because I believe that we are all in danger. Two days ago, a train heading to Dodge Junction was attacked by a group of outlaws. Aside from a number of valuables being stolen, Colgate was foalnapped by a griffin in the company of roughly a dozen ponies. Initially, I did not connect the dots, but after thinking about it, I believe that this is the same griffin that I have reported on before. We had successfully tracked the group down before they had gotten back to base, and had succeeded in rescuing Colgate. In doing so however, I discovered that this griffin has begun using some method of removing cutie marks. Unfortunately, it escaped, and Colgate as well vanished into a teleporter. I do not yet know why the ██

“Oh horseapples!” Bon-Bon said as she accidentally knocked the inkwell over (she hit it while attempting to refill her quill), causing a solid drip to cover part of the letter. She suddenly wished she was dictating to Lyra. At least her spills were on purpose. Cleaning up the mess as best she could, she dipped her quill and began writing once more.

I do not yet know why the griffin is removing them, but I do know that it is storing them on a scroll. I also know that it has removed the cutie marks of at least 20 ponies. One of which is Bonnie Bonnet's brother Bloom Blizter. I assume that he was either a member of this gang, or that perhaps he was taken as a prisoner. I did not see him, so I do not know for certain. However, there is a bigger issue here. On this scroll (which I manged to take from the griffin, and am leaving here at Dodge for safe keeping), I recognized several cutie marks, but I suddenly couldn't remember anything about the ponies they belonged to. All of the ponies in the gang were missing their marks, and the one I interrogated claimed that he had no idea how it was done. Princess, I believe that whatever method the griffin is using to remove cutie marks is also removing the identity of the pony a-

Bon-Bon dipped the quill into the inkwell once more, but found it empty. “Really?” she asked to nopony particular. “Really? You had to run out right now?” She looked down at the well with a look of unamused distaste. It looked back at her and smiled.

“Hello miss! I sure did. Thought it would be good for a laugh I did!” it said in a heavy Canterlot accent.

“Oh you did, did you? Are you sure it has nothing to do with me knocking you over?” Bon-Bon knew that her brain was starting to fail, as inkwells only spoke to her when she hadn't had enough sleep. Though they usually spoke with more of a Manehatten accent. It would seem that Ms. Cherry Jubilee didn't cheap out when it came to her inkwells.

“What? Of course not miss! Why, I-BLUB BLUB BLUB!” Bon-Bon had begun refilling it once more with ink, drowning out its words.

“There. That should keep you quiet. Now then, where was I?” She dipped her quill once more and began writing.

-ffected. I do not know how, but I think it removes any memory of them from the minds of other ponies. Perhaps the only reason I could remember Bloom was because I had spoken recently with his sister about him. Thinking back, I recall that at the time both of us had a difficult time even remembering what he looked like. So I fear what may have happened to him.

Perhaps even more alarming is the fact that the gang was made entirely of Pegasus Ponies and Earth Ponies. I found out that they had foalnapped Colgate not only to steal her mark, but to attempt to enlist a unicorn in their ranks. It would appear that she was the first unicorn they had attempted to do so with. Luckily for us, it seems that whatever process the griffin uses failed, as I saw that Colgate still had her mark when we found her. I do not know if it failed because she was a unicorn, or because of other reasons. However, I fear what may happen if they can successfully get the cutie mark off of a unicorn. I don't fully know why, but my gut tells me that would be a dire situation indeed. Lyra, Berry, and I will be heading to Deadmare Gully come first light to find Colgate. If she is not there, then the griffin who has taken up headquarters there once more will know where she is. I hope that you receive this letter in time, for we could use your help.

Your Faithful Friend and Subject,
Bon-Bon

P.S. To add insult to injury, there are dragons at the gully as well. No doubt for the same reason they were there last time.

Bon-Bon looked the letter over once more. Even though she was writing to Twilight, she was still a Princess (and picky about grammar and spelling to boot), and Bon-Bon wanted to make sure there were as few errors as possible. Everything she wanted to say was in there. Hopefully it would get to her in time. The trick was, how does one send a letter through Spike? She had seen him burn scrolls and belch them dozens of times before, but had no real good idea how it was done. Perhaps it was Alicorn magic? Or even simple ol' Unicorn magic? She was unsure. Placing the quill back, she blew on the scroll to ensure it was dry before rolling it up. Taking a small strip of ribbon, she tied it shut and sealed it with a bit of molten wax. Now then, to get it to the Princess...

Cherry Jubilee was aghast. Who in Equestria had entered her office? And how on earth had they not triggered the alarms? She walked about, looking left and right at her place. To the untrained eye of any other pony, things would have looked just fine. Her bookshelves along the right wall (full of odd trinkets her workers found in her orchards as well as several different books) seemed undisturbed. Her left wall, which was covered in motivational posters with a door sitting in the middle of it (Quite literally you see, for the previous owner of this office thought it would be a jolly joke to place a door perfectly in the center of the wall. What this meant was that not only was the door set several hooves off the floor, it was also laying on its side and led to a room full of concrete balloons. How they had made them, and how they manage to still float after all these years was still a mystery to Cherry), was also just fine.

Her back wall, which was mostly bare save for a cork-board full of to-do items and several framed permits, was the same as always. Even her dark cherry desk (made from the finest cherry-wood, much to her anger. Again, the previous owner though it would be a hoot to chop down her best tree and make a desk out of it. Of course, the old coot also thought it was a hoot to show up to the town dressed up like an owl and covered head-to-hoof in beavers. Needless to say, it took a good while for the local rivers to begin flowing properly), covered as it was in paperwork, looked normal … save that one of her papers was quite literally a hair out of place. Her eye twitched. She knew the exact place of every item in her office, and seeing that one single paper was slightly off tipped her off that somepony had broken in. But how? She padlocked the door, sealed the window, and barricaded the balloon room each and every single night! (She had to so that the balloons wouldn't escape and meander around her office, looking for their old master) Not to mention the magical wards she had placed on it (well, that two traveling salesponies had put on it. They had been selling security systems door-to-door and Cherry had found the pair of them to be quite charming, and wasted no time in buying not only the Full Coverage Plan, but even a lifetime subscription to 'Security Weekly').

You see, Cherry is a rich pony. Before her current desk, she had a fabulous desk made of the mightiest mahogany (it was such a lovely shade of red). Not to mention that she owns a lovely estate not far from town, and runs one of the largest cherry plantations this side of Equestria! Which isn't saying much as it is indeed the only one on this side, but that was beside the point. The point was that she kept her well-earned bits in a safe, in her office. Not all of them of course. She kept her money in several locations. But in her safe, she kept enough to cover the various on-the-spot expenses that pop up from time to time. So, she spent quite a bit on security to keep them safe. So the fact that somepony managed to break in just made her angry something fierce! Her face turned a deeper shade of red then her mane, and she ran over to the location where her safe was. For the purposes of security, the exact location will not be disclosed at this time. Suffice to say, her safe, was safe. She let out a breath that she had been holding. It looked like the only things missing were a single roll of paper, some ink, a ribbon, and a few drips of wax. The question was, why? Did they break in just to write a letter? No, that was insane. No pony breaks into a highly secured room just to write a letter. They must have taken something, but what? And why?

She pressed her lips together in thought. It was a nice desk … even if she still would rather have the tree. She blinked. Her eyes caught something over in the corner. It was two small hairs. A smile broke across her face. Whoever it was, she had them now. She strolled leisurely over to them. No need to be in a rush, now that she had evidence. Bending her head low, she examined them closely. One hair blue, one hair pink. Now then, who did she know that had pink and blue hair? Who indeed? She looked out the window. It was a lovely morning. The sun was just beginning to rise and there was a slight breeze blowing (Normally, she came into work after the sun was already in the sky, but today she had popped awake rather early for reasons most mysterious. So, she figured that she might as well come into work early and some paperwork done). She had heard that some ponies had just left Dodge, heading south on hoof. One of them she had been told had come in on that ill-fated train (fixing that thing set her back quite a few bits) and had been in the clinic the entire time. The other two she had heard had shown up last night and left with that poor patient just a short while ago. What were their names again? Oh yes. There was Berry Punch (whom she knew professionally as she traded bottles for cherries), an eccentric named Lyra (who, she had been told, was the one on the train), and, she paused a moment, trying to recall the name … Bon-Bon! That's right! She knew Bon-Bon. She'd come down to Dodge to work from time to time. And wasn't her mane...?

Her smile grew even bigger. Now that she knew the identity of the criminal, it was only a matter of tracking her down and asking her to give back what she stole, whatever it was.

Berry was not a happy pony. Last night had not gone at all as she had hoped. Not long after Lyra had told her to get comfy, the nurse had suddenly burst in (with pillows in tow just in case Lyra decided to hug the floor once more), and informed her that her visiting time was over and that she was free to come back later tomorrow. Both Berry and Lyra had objected, but the nurse had stood her ground. Berry was hard pressed to say no to a nurse who had made a golem out of pillows to escort her out of the room.

So, needless to say, she was in a bit of a foul mood. That, and it had been a full three, four days since her last drink! Well, ok, not really three or four days, but it feel like it. She looked at Lyra with sleepy eyes, hoping that perhaps she would tell her story now that they had gotten out of Dodge. In actuality, they had already been walking for about an hour or so before Berry tried to make eye contact. Partly because she was too tired and cranky to try earlier, and partly because it had been a bit too dark for eye contact, for they had actually left just before the sunrise. Now that she could see, and now that she felt ever so slightly less moody, she thought now might be a good time to try and get Lyra to talk. Though, she found it rather hard to make eye contact as Lyra was ahead of her. Sadly, it seemed like she did not have eyes on the back of her head.

Still, she held her gaze for several moments. Hoping that the sheer force of her will would somehow burn her gaze through Lyra's skull and into her brain, allowing her to read her mind. Sadly, this too seemed doomed to fail, as Berry did not posses Xheat-ray vision. So, letting out a quiet sigh, she drooped her head once more and begun grumbling to herself. “Stupid Bon-Bon … waking me up so early … coulda waited until noon ya know … but nooo …. ”

“Did you say something?” Bon-Bon's voice suddenly asked.

Berry tilted her head up slightly, just enough to look at the back of Bon-Bon's noggin. “No … nothing” Berry grumbled in a gravelly voice. Tch. She should have known Bon-Bon would hear her. She looked up at the rising sun. Its light burned her tired and bloodshot eyes. She blinked painfully, small tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “Ok, so, let me get this straight. We are going to walk for two days straight. Two days. And you didn't bother to pick up any supplies? Not a thing?” Berry was indeed not a happy pony, and her voice showed it.

“I don't recall saying I didn't get any supplies.” Bon-Bon replied calmly. Oooh, that just made Berry all the more ticked.

“Oh please! When? We left before the sun was even up! Nothing was open!” Berry objected.

Bon-Bon turned her head to look at Berry. Good grief, what business did she have looking so focused so early in the morning?! “I assure you, these saddle bags on my back are quite full.” She jiggled them slightly as if to emphasize her point. “So you don't need to worry about it.”

“Yeah, chill out *yawn* Bon-Bon!” Lyra agreed.

“Lyra, I think you meant Berry.” Bon-Bon pointed out.

“Huh?” Lyra's head turned suddenly to look at Bon-Bon, who was walking to her left. Berry could see that Lyra's eyes were little better then her own. It looked as though she had gotten little sleep as well, though her eyes were far less bloodshot.

“Berry. I think you meant to say Berry.” Repeated Bon-Bon.

“What did I say?”

“Bon-Bon”

“Oh,” said Lrya, blushing sheepishly. “Right ….” She looked back at Berry and attempted to give her one of her winning smiles. Given that her eyes looked like death, it somehow didn't have quite the same impact. What it did do however, was enable Berry to lock eye-contact.

“So, about that story?” Berry asked with even more gravel in her voice.

Lyra's smile turned into small frown and looked at Bon-Bon.

“You mean you didn't tell her last night?” Bon-Bon asked a bit agitated.

“Well … the nurse kinda hauled Berry outta the room before I could say anything.” Lyra answered.

“The nurse? You let the nurse stop you from filling in Berry about something that important?” Bon-Bon's expression was greatly unamused.

“Hey! You don't know that nurse! She runs that place like a prison! You can't do anything against the rules! Like, one time, I tried to hide one of those pudding cups under my pillow, right? You know what happened? She actually made me take it out, give it to the little foal over in the corner, and made me watch as the kid ate it! Not only that, you remember the other guy in the clinic? He was part of the Equestrian weight-lifting squad for the games. And his buddies, who came right after we got there, were even bigger then he was! So, you know what happened when they tried to stay too long? She just looked at them in the eye and said 'You. Must. Leave. Now. The others need their rest.' And you know what they did? They broke like twigs! They basically just whimpered and left the room., except one gal. I've never seen such a huge unicorn. She looked back and started mouthing off at the nurse. You know what she did then?”

“Get to the point Lyra.” Bon-Bon cut in.

“Uh … right. Well, let's just say that size isn't everything when you've got an army of pillows, blankets, and mattresses. So, yeah. I was not about to mess with that.” Lyra concluded.

“Yes. Truly terrifying. Well, I suppose we've got nothing but time now. So you might as well fill her in.”

“Yes please! I would really like to know what's going on here.” Berry pleaded, rather grumpily.

“Eh … can it wait? I really need to wake up a bit more before I can tell it.” Lyra whined.

“Are you kidding me?!” Berry yelled, causing both Bon-Bon and Lyra to jump in surprise.

“Woah! Berry, chill out! You'll hear it, honest. But I seriously need to wake up more. I'm not tryin' to keep you in the dark here. I'm really not, it's just that there are a lot of important details and I can't afford to forget any, ok?” Lyra explained carefully.

Berry ground her teeth, and her eye twitched. “Fine. But don't talk to me until then!” Berry stomped her two front hooves on the ground, then drooped her head moodily once more. She was so fed up with all of this. And to think, WALKING FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT! Not only that, she was walking directly into a place that supposedly had cutie mark stealing griffins, dragons, and dangerous bandits! And she had to do it all with not a drop of booze in her! So yeah, she was just a little grumpy. Oh, don't forget the fact that she had trouble sleeping last night 'cause the cheap motel they stayed in had bed bugs. Or where they fleas? She didn't know, and at this point, she didn't care. She just wanted to get Colgate and get that blasted toothbrush, and then go home with nice breath for once in her life. Even she had to admit, her breath had simply become unbearable.

She let out a small sigh. Colgate. She hoped that she was okay. In all honesty, she was one of the few ponies left that actually visited Berry's home anymore. Granted, ponies liked her at parties, and even out in the open (provided there was a strong breeze), but they never came to her home. When she first opened her store, they would visit. Most of the time it was to pick up an order, but they would hang around for a bit and share a few laughs. But the longer she was in business, the less they came to visit in pony, and the more they would send somepony else to place and pick up their orders. Finally, what it had come down to was her placing the various orders outside of her home on a wagon that either Big Mac, or another pony, would take away once it was filled and she was very much inside. Now that she thought on it, Colgate pretty much was the only pony left who would actually come into her home these days.

A sudden rush of an odd, and somewhat bitter, mix of guilt and shame filled her. Colgate was doing all of this for her! Colgate had dealt with Berry's foalishness for years! And for the first time, in a very long time, Colgate needed her to help! (The last time was that time when Berry, quite drunken at the time, had accidentally sold a lovely hourglass to some very shady characters who were in the business of collecting such things. Unfortunately however, she had accidentally sold the hourglasses on Colgate [there was a LOT of booze to be had that night, by both parties]. So, when they came to collect, they had to haul the poor blue mare off. Poor Berry had to track them down and save her all by herself. Oh colt … was THAT an adventure...)

Her eyes began to burn slightly and her vision blurred.

Here she had been, all these years, so selfish and so much trouble for poor Colgate. All of the late nights that Colgate didn't want to go through, all of the crazy parties she tried to avoid. All of the times when she had tried to beg Berry to slow down, to ease up on the drinks, to brush her teeth!

Drops of water began to hit the ground beneath Berry's head.

And even now, Colgate was in terrible danger for her sake! And all Berry could do was yell and whine and stop her hooves like some temperamental filly! She paused. She was a terrible pony. No wonder nopony ever came over anymore. She had thought it was her terrible breath that had driven them away, but no, it was her terrible heart! Well, okay, she had to admit, her chompers did have some effect, but that wasn't the point right now! No, the point was that she had driven them all away! Berry's lip quivered, she was trying her best to hold it in, but she was losing. She bit on her lip, hoping to keep it in check, but it seemed to do little. She bit even harder, and all that did was make her want to cry even more. She stumbled slightly to her side, as she began to feel the strength of her legs fail.

It was all her fault! Everything! If she had just listened to Colgate, and brushed her blasted teeth, then there would have been no castle, no robbery, and no foalnapping! If only she had listened to her one and only friend in this world … Berry wouldn't have to be walking for two days straight!

“Hey, Bon-Bon … “ Lyra said with both a gentle voice and nudge to Bon-Bon as Lyra looked back at Berry.

She paused. D-did she really just think that? Did she really just complain about walking while Colgate was in so much trouble? Her mouth hung open slightly, as even more tears began rolling off her cheeks.

“What? What is it-oh … ” Bon-Bon said, first with irritation, then quietly as she looked back at Berry.

A stupid griffin tried to steal her only friend’s cutie mark, and all she could think about was how much she didn't want to walk?! She was a monster! She was selfish, dishonest, mean, selfish, irresponsible, an idiot, and a terrible pony! All she had done was cause ponies pain this whole trip! It had been she that had squealed so loudly! It had been she that had drank that bottle! It had been she that had tricked Zecora into drinking it! It had been she that had somehow let Pinkie get ahoof of it! It had been her fault, somehow, that Colgate had gotten foalnapped! It was her fault they followed the wrong group, and it had been her fault that they had lost Colgate right after saving her! It was all her fault! And both Lyra and Bon-Bon must be furious!

Lyra clenched her teeth as a severe look of worry and concern crossed her face. “Bon-Bon …” she paused. Then, quietly whispered, “I-I'm really worried about her.”

Bon-Bon nodded. “Yeah … me too.” she whispered back.

“I-I guess we forgot that she's not as tough as us, huh?” Lyra said sympathetically.

Bon-Bon shook her head. “No, it's not that. Berry's tough enough, but …”

“We've haven't been kind enough.” Lyra finished for her. “We're used to doing this kinda thing, but she's not.”

“And we've been ignoring her, not pausing for even a moment to consider how she feels about all of this.” Bon-Bon nodded shamefully.

Her tears began to flow though the cracks in the dams she tried to hold them back with. But it was proving too much. Finally, she let out an anguished cry and fell to the ground. There, she lay, weeping openly onto the dirt.

“Berry?” Lyra said gently. “Berry! Snap out of it!” Lyra picked up Berry began to shake her, and almost slapped Berry back to her senses. She stopped however when Berry's eyes locked with hers.

“Lyra … I …” Berry began, her lower lip and her voice trembling in equal measure.

“Berry …” Bon-Bon also began, but was unable to finish.

Lyra set Berry down, and took a half-step back. Berry curled into a tight ball and began sobbing softly. Lyra turned to Bon-Bon and both exchanged helpless glances. Had it been so long since they'd been normal ponies? Had it been so long that they forgot what it was like to feel so overwhelmed? So powerless? Had it been so long since the day that-

Berry twitched slightly, derailing Lyra's thoughts. “Bon-Bon, what do we do?” She asked. She had never before felt so helpless, so under equipped for something like this. Sure, the day that she met Bon-Bon had been pretty overwhelming, but that was very different then this kind of overwhelming.

Bon-Bon's hard eyes softened as she looked at poor Berry. “Let's take a break.” came her quiet answer.

Lyra nodded quietly and sat down, looking at Berry's quivering form. She wanted to object and say, 'But we just started!' but she knew that Bon-Bon meant more then just taking a break from walking. She knew that she had meant a break from business, from rescuing, from being emotionless. Indeed, here, right in front of their very eyes, lay a pony who could not do as they had done so many times before. She could not set her heart to the side or ignore the strain and pain of her body and mind. No, unlike Lyra and Bon-Bon, she was not ready for this.

Lyra heard Bon-Bon set her bags on the ground not far behind them, then she sat down next to her. The two of them looked at Berry from some time. Both wishing they knew what to say, and neither daring to speak, lest the wrong thing be said. What does one say to a pony like this? Do they apologize? Do they offer sympathy? What do they do? What could they do? Then Bon-Bon's own words dawned on Lyra once again: '… not pausing for even a moment to consider how she feels …'

Perhaps the best thing to say, was to say nothing at all.

“Hey, Berry,” Lyra said, reaching out a hoof and shaking Berry gently, “Look … Bon-Bon and I-”

“-are not very good at this. So-” Bon-Bon added.

“-if you wanna talk, we'll listen. Ok?” Lyra finished.

Berry said nothing, save her quiet sobs.

“Berry, please! We're here for you!” Lyra said a moment before Bon-Bon could say the same.

Berry's quivering stopped for a moment, and for an instant, all was still. Then Berry slowly lifted her head and looked at them with eyes as bloodshot as could be. She took a deep and trembling breath, held it for a minute, then let it out slowly, but said nothing. She cast her eyes to the ground, and turned her head away from them.

“Berry?” one of them ventured. Berry wasn't sure who though. Everything felt so muted and far away.

“I broke my promise.”

“What?” one of them said. Again, Berry wasn't sure who.

“I promised Colgate that I wouldn't drink that bottle ever again, and I did anyway.” Berry answered somberly.

“So?” one of them dared to ask.

Suddenly, with a flash of anger and shame, Berry's head whipped around as she looked at the two of them. “SO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SO?!? I BROKE A PROMISE TO MY ONLY FREIND IN THIS WHOLE WORLD AND NOW SHE'S IN DANGER BECAUSE OF IT AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS 'SO'?!?” Berry screamed, her voice cracking from the strain. “I'M SORRY IF BREAKING A PROMISE ISN'T A BIG DEAL TO YOU OR SOMETHING, BUT IT KINDA IS TO ME! AND NOW IT'S ALL MY FAULT THAT COLGATE MAY NEVER MAKE IT HOME AGAIN! DON'T YOU GET IT? IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IF I HADN'T BROUGHT THE STUPID BOTTLE, IF I HADN'T SQUEALED SO LOUDLY, IF I HAD ONLY BRUSHED MY TEETH, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!! And now …” Berry's voice had begun to strain under the load of so much anger, “… we can't even go save her because I'm slowing us all up …”, her voice cracked once more, “and you two must be so mad at me … I'm so helpless. She's in trouble and all I do is sit here and scream at you two and slow you down. You must be so disappointed and mad at me … I'm so sorry, if it wasn't for me, you two wouldn't have even come with us to begin with … this is all my fault …” Berry's face flushed with greater shame, and she buried her face under her forelegs.

Lyra and Bon-Bon's jaws both hung open at this sudden turn of events. Needless to say, they had not seen that coming. This time, it was Bon-Bon who cleared her throat first and spoke. “Berry, you know that its not your fault. Those bandits would have hit the train even if you two had been by yourselves. And yeah, you broke your promise, but nopony's perfect. I mean, look, you've gone, what? Over a day without drinking a thing? Berry, that's amazing. The fact that you've gone this long without a drink is impressive. And it's not your fault Lyra and I came along.”

“Yeah! That was totally us. I mean, sure, yeah, you had a factor in it, but it was us who decided to follow after you guys. And yeah, if you hadn't brought the drink things would have been a whole lot less exciting at the castle, but look at the good that came out of it!” Lyra said.

“And before you can say, 'What good?', think about that promise you said you made. If you hadn't brought it, you'd have never made that promise. And just because you broke it once doesn't make you a bad pony.” Bon-Bon continued.

“Well, breaking promises is pretty bad Bon-Bon.” Lyra inserted.

“True. But given the conditions, and why you did it, I think Colgate will forgive you. You just gotta talk to her about it. And besides, we forgive you. Not that we were ever mad at you.” Bon-Bon explained.

“Yeah. We just wanna help. I mean, if we didn't care, why would we still be here? Like, if we didn't care, we woulda just hopped on the first train back to Ponyville and let the two of you go alone. But we didn't.” Lyra added.

“And I know that you're gonna say something about us not having a choice in the matter, since we all got caught up in that train robbery, but think about this: When we finally got back to Dodge, Lyra and I could have just said, 'tough luck', and left you high and dry. But we didn't and we're here.” Bon-Bon's expression continued to soften as both she and Lyra spoke.

Berry slowly lifted her head from the ground and looked at the two of them. “But …” she trailed off, not quite able to find the words, though she wasn't even sure she had anything to say...

“Look, we all screw up sometimes. And sometimes, we screw up big. But that doesn't make us bad ponies. What makes us bad ponies is if we keep screwing up and don't care about who we hurt in the process, ya know? And you care, and you don't wanna keep screwing up. So you're not a bad pony, alright?” Lyra said, resting a hoof on Berry's shoulder.

Berry looked back at the ground once more. She let out a small sigh, and said softly, “Thanks you two. It's just that, you know, she's my only real friend ya know? And I'm just worried about her. And, you're right, it has been a while since I had something to drink. I guess I'm a bit cranky because of that.” she gave a small, halfhearted chuckle. Then she let out another small sigh. “Thanks guys. I appreciate it.”

Lyra smiled and patted her on the back as Bon-Bon spoke, “We're happy to help Berry. After all, like Lyra said, we're here because we care. “

“And we even don't mind your breath!” Lyra added.

With that, Berry stood up, wiped her face, and smiled. “You know, I think you're right. Yeah, I screwed up pretty bad, but if I quit tryin' to help now, it'll only get worse. And you know what? I want to be a better pony! So let's go get Colgate!” Berry exclaimed, punching a hoof in the air for added emphasis.

If by air we mean Lyra's left eye, the poor girl.

Granted, it had been an honest mistake, so no hard feelings were had. That said, pony hooves do tend to be a bit on the firm side, vs the typically soft side of the oversized pony eyeball. So, after a yelp of pain, and many apologies, the little group gathered themselves together once more, and headed off to Deadmare Gully to rescue poor Colgate!

That is, assuming that she was indeed there...

Author's Note

There are times, when I have wrapped myself in Saran Wrap and coated myself in pudding (to mimic being a slug you see), when I think to myself: Did I overdo what I just wrote? And while the answer may or may not be yes in this case, I'll admit that I may have been trying a bit too hard. Thankfully, this is a lesson well learned ... kind of. :pinkiehappy:

Chapter Two: Part Twelve

Chapter Two: Part Twelve

Lyra smiled, 'cause Bon-Bon totally had her back through that whole thing! Sure, Bon-Bon could be a real stick-in-the-mud, but colt was it great when she totally backed Lyra up! It reminded her of why she stuck around Bon-Bon so much. Well, one of the reasons anyway. She smiled as they made their way. It had been a wonderful convo (technically 'conversation', but Lyra's internal thought processes couldn't be bothered to to think the whole word, quite lazy of them if you think about it) as far as she was concerned. Berry was looking much better, and even Bon-Bon's expression had warmed up a bit. While she respected Bon-Bon when she was serious like this (and even enjoyed it to a degree for it almost always meant something amazing and/or [preferably and] exciting was going to happen), she was kinda rude and a bit of a jerk. So, it did her heart good to see Bon-Bon relax a bit.

So, our dear Lyra was in a jolly good mood after all was said and done. Which is, in part, why what happened next, is what ended up happening rather then what *should* have happened.

They had stopped to take a rest. Bon-Bon had decided that rather then walk for the two days straight, they would take breaks as needed. Seeing as how Berry was still exhausted from the last two days' adventures, she was very grateful for this indeed. As was Lyra. Granted she could walk for that long will little problem, she'd much rather not. It was during one of these rests (which were, admittedly, a smidgen too often) that Bon-Bon's senses perked up and she began looking around as if she heard something. She had stopped mid-sentence (mid-word even!) and had raised her head high and began jerking it left and right.

“What's up?” Lyra said, a bit more causal then perhaps the situation warranted.

“I heard something, and I can sell dust on the wind.” She said, her eyes searching the horizons.

Lyra rolled hers. “Dust? Bon-Bon, we're in the middle of a dry wasteland. There's dust everywhere.”

“No. I can smell it getting thicker. Something's coming. Something that's kicking up a ton of it.” she said, slowly rising to her hooves.

Berry, surprisingly relaxed, simply shrugged.

Lyra glanced at Berry, then back at Bon-Bon, “You sure about that Bon-B-”

“LYRA! SHIELD!” Bon-Bon screamed.

Without a moment's hesitation, Lyra threw up a small protective bubble around the three of them. Granted, it was nothing like what Twilight or her brother could do, but it was enough for what hit them (or so she hoped).

Which thing happened to be a massive wall of brown dust. It hit them like a truck, and turned everything around them dark. Though it lasted for only a moment, it had managed to shatter Lyra's small bubble. Thankfully, however, it had bore the brunt of the sudden storm, and thus had saved them from a world of dusty pain. What it didn't save them from however, was sand in the mouth and dust in the eyes. Not enough to cause any sort of harm mind you, but enough to be an irritation.

“Why hello there, my little Miss Bon-Bon.” came a voice that Lyra recognized.

After some coughing, a bit of spitting, and several rounds of teary and painful blinking, Lyra got a good look at who was speaking.

“Hello Ms. Jubilee.” Bon-Bon responded.

She stood before them, looking much the part of a pony who knew they had won some kind of challenge. Like a victor lording over their prize and savoring the moment before snatching it up and claiming it as their own. And she wasn't alone.

She was surrounded by hundreds of ponies. All of them holding either a pitchfork, a torch, or an angry expression (or any combination of the three for that matter). They were all shapes and sizes, and ages too. There were Pegasi and Earth Ponies and Unicorns and oh my! As she glanced left and right at the very angry mob before them, it dawned on Lyra how such a huge crowd had managed to surprise them like that. She could sense the faintest aura of magic in the air, and could see that most of the horns of the unicorns were still glowing faintly. They must have disguised the mob and muffled their sound as they approached. In the air she saw several pegasi who were making their landings, all of them looking rather winded. That would explain the sudden gust of dust as well. It seemed that Cherry decided that she wasn't playing around.

“My dear Bon-Bon. It's lovely to see you. How's th-”

“Sate your demand Ms. Jubilee. We have no time for this.” Bon-Bon said rather suddenly.

Cherry seemed taken aback by the sudden interruption. It seemed that she wasn't used to being cut off like that. “My dea-”

“Your dema-”

“Two can play that game, Miss Bon.” Cherry trampled on Bon-Bon's interruption with such confidence (and with an overpowering aura of authority as well) that Bon-Bon was silenced on the spot. Lyra looked between the two. Bon-Bon was attempting to regain her composure, and Cherry was once again as confident as she had been. “Now then, I agree. Give me back what you stole, and I'll let you go. You've always been a hard worker, and I respect your results. So, that's why I'm willing to let this little thing go if you just give me back what you took. I don't want to damage our relationship you see. And, to show my good faith, I'll even let you work at my plantation again this season.”

Bon-Bon pressed her lips together.

“Bon-Bon?” Berry suddenly said. “W-Where did you say you got those supplies?” a bit of fear evident in her voice.

Cherry's confident smile turned into a wicked grin. “Yes. Where did you get them Bon-Bon?”

“I didn't take anything.” Bon-Bon said.

Actually, she wanted to say that, but Lyra was a bit too quick.

“Oh, you know, she took it all!” Lyra said with a huge grin on her face.

Lyra suddenly found hundreds of eyes looking at her. Four of which belonged to Bon-Bon and Berry. Two of them had terror, and the other two said, 'What are you doing?!'

“Yep. Took every last bit of everything. Good haul too. I mean, who knew you guys had so much stuff? And really good stuff too!” Lyra was practically overflowing with joy as she spoke. The eyes all reacted with a fearsome mix of confusion, and anger. “Though I can't tell you why we took it,” she let out an awkward chuckle, “The boss would kill us if I did.”

Every set of eyes on her widened in shock, and then got dangerously narrow. Though Cherry's eyes were exempt from that. Hers got narrow as well, but rather then with shock or fury, it was with scrutiny and thought.

“You're lying.” She said. All the eyes turned back to her.

“Huh? Well. Kinda. Ok. Yeah...” Lyra sunk her head down, “Your stuff actually wasn't that great. I mean, it was an okay haul … I guess” Once again the eyes shifted to the pony who just spoke (Lyra found it a bit disconcerting that so many eyes were moving in unison).

“I see.” Cherry said a bit curtly, “We wasted a trip out here. You took nothing, did you?” It was her turn to feel ever so slightly unnerved by the countless peepers peeping at her.

“You know, to be honest, I have no idea.” Lyra shrugged, “I don't even know what Bon-Bon has in those saddle bags of hers. Mostly food I'd guess.”

“Hey,” came a voice from the mob. “Now that I think about it, a bunch of food was missing from my store when I opened it, but there was a pile of bits sitting on my counter with a note saying that it was payment for the food, plus extra!”

“You're kidding. You're kidding, right?” Cherry said, turning to the source of the voice.

“ 'fraid not Ms.” it replied.

Cherry turned back to Lyra, then to Bon-Bon, then to Berry, then to the mob, then to Bon-Bon once more. “I-I'm so very sorry. I found your hairs in my office this morning and … I assumed that you had taken something...” Cherry said, looking a bit ashamed of herself.

Bon-Bon relaxed a bit, and smiled a small smile. “I suppose I can't blame you Ms. Jubilee. I too would have been rather upset if somepony had broken into my secured office.”

“Wait, YOU broke into her office? How?!” came a shout from the mob.

“That's not important deary,” Cherry said as she turned her head behind her. “What is,” she looked back at Bon-Bon once more, “is why.”

Bon-Bon looked apprehensive for a moment, then simply sighed. “I needed to write a letter to the Princess.”

“T-That's it?!” Cherry's eyes went wide and she took a few steps back. Even the mob replied with a collective gasp of shock. “Y-You broke through all of my magical AND physical security measures, without setting off a single one, just to write a single letter? Ms. Bon, that's insane! Why didn't you just wake me up, or just borrow some paper from the clinic, or something like that? Why in Equestria would you break into my office?”

Bon-Bon's face suddenly stopped, as if the very idea had never occurred to her. She tilted her head somewhat into the air as she pondered this, then promptly smacked her forehead with her hoof. “I didn't even think about that...”

“I-I see,” Cherry responded, somewhat flabbergasted. “So, what in Equestria was so important that you had to break into my office to write a letter about?

Bon-Bon squared her shoulders, then said as though she were giving a report, “Well, to get straight to the point, I was telling Princess Twilight about a local band of bandits that look to be led by a griffin who has been stealing cutie marks.”

Again, there came a collective gasp of shock (and this time horror as well!) from the mob. “A-Are you serious?” Cherry stammered.

“Hey! Cherry!” Lyra suddenly pipped up as Bon-Bon nodded. “Look, I'll be straight with ya. We could really use your help. I mean, you guys are already out here, and you're already pretty mad.” she said, letting the sentence hang in the air.

“Help? What in Equestria could an angry mob of ponies help you with?” Cherry looked a bit flabbergasted at Lyra's words.

“Well. Those bandits foalnapped our friend. And we could use a mob of angry ponies to help us save her!” Lyra exclaimed, once again with that inexplicable joy that was her trademark.

“A-Are you serious?” Berry, Bon-Bon, Cherry, and several members of the mob asked at once.

Lyra simply nodded.

“Who's this friend of yours?” Cherry asked hesitantly. Lyra was actually somewhat surprised. She had heard about Cherry's information network, and was surprised that she didn't already know the answer. Granted, Cherry's network was better abroad then it was at home, but Lyra would have thought somepony would have told her at some point who got foalnapped from the train, not to mention a griffin who'd been stealing cutie marks!

“Her name's Colgate.” Lyra started to say, but was cut off by Berry blurting out the same words.

“Wait, Doctor Colgate?” Cherry said with some surprise. “THE Doctor Colgate?”

“Doctor Who?” Shouted a voice from the mob.

“That doctor who visits twice a year you dolt!” shouted another.

“She's a dentist you idiot!” shouted a third voice.

“Same difference!” argued a forth.

“You guys know her?” Berry said, this time she was the surprised one.

“Why yes darling.” Cherry answered, her voice suddenly very friendly, “You see, we're not a big enough town just yet to have a permanent dentist, so I hire the good doctor to come visit us twice a year.” Several heads nodded and a few smiles appeared (most of which were full of good strong, clean teeth … most of them) “She does good work and she's nice to boot. Not to mention she's a true professional.” Her voice carried a hint of fondness, as if one was speaking of an old friend.

“Wait, how come I never knew about this?” Berry objected.

“That's because she usually goes during harvest season and right after Winter-Wrap-Up. You've just never noticed because you've always had too much to drink right before she leaves.” Lyra pointed out.

“Oh...” Berry's face flushed with embarrassment.

“So yeah. Come on, let's go save Colgate!” Lyra shouted, raising a hoof into the air.

There was silence. If there was a cricket to be had, it would have been tempted to break the silence (and it would have too).

“HURRAH!” came the sudden and unanimous cry. It came with such sudden force and bravado that it knocked poor Lyra and Berry right off their hooves. It caused Bon-Bon to stumble a few steps, but she stood fast.

For a moment, all Lyra could hear was a loud ringing in her ears. She could see Bon-Bon talking to Cherry, though what was being said was a mystery. Despite that however, she saw looks of eager excitement from the mob, and she could feel a building crescendo of energy that threatened to pop at any mo-

And then she was caught in a stamped of ponies.

Fortunately, these ponies were more interested in ensuring that she (and her friends) were on top of the herd rather then under their hooves. So, rather then fearing for her dear life, Lyra suddenly found herself riding at high speed through the wasteland at break-neck speed. Suddenly, she wished she had Applejack's hat, for the only thing she could think to say was, 'Yeeehawwww!'

Author's Note

Cherry is actually a rather nice pony, at least, in the show she is. Sadly however, this Cherry is not, as nice anyway. This Cherry also owns Dodge Junction. Well, ok, she doesn't actually *own* Dodge Junction, she just has pretty much everypony who lives there on her payroll. Thankfully, she's normally rather benevolent, and the fine ponies of Dodge are happy with her more or less kinda calling the shots in the town.

Chapter Two: Part Thirteen

Chapter Two: Part Thirteen

“Awake, Awake, little pony, for your own sake.” came a distant voice. “Rise and shine, little Colgate.”

She was far away, not yet departed from the land of dreams. The speaker's strange voice beckoned her to leave that blissful place, though it came from the body of Berry. For, you see, Berry had just concluded a moving lecture about the finer points of applying magnanimous mushroom to the gums and forehooves of ponies, Princesses (why Princesses were different then ponies Berry never explained), donkeys, and dragons. She had even brought a dragon on stage to show just how sparkly its front hooves were after a careful application of said fungi. Not to mention their youthful shine! It's simply age-defying! Truly, something everypony ought to have in their collection. Not to mention the health benefits! Why-

“You have rested long enough, now arise before I get rough!” the dragon said. The captive audience roared with applause and wept with tears of joy and sorrow! Sorrow for their days spent with terrible forehoof pain, and joy for the wondrous end of it! Inde-

Her eyes shot open as her senses suddenly received a punch to their collective faces. The first thing she saw was a zebra's face framed by what looked to be a ceiling. It was then she realized that she was lying on her back. The second thing she saw was said zebra putting a cork into what looked like a small potion bottle.

“Z-Zecora?” Colgate stammered out, “W-what's going on? Where are we?”

“It is good that you are awake, for you have much trouble to make.” she replied with a sly grin.

“Huh? What?” Colgate blinked a few times.

“But first, you should get off your back and onto your hooves.” She said, her face wincing slightly with pain.

Colgate blinked a few more times, then scrambled to her hooves. It was a little more difficult to do then she had expected, as her poor body was terribly sore from lying on a hard stone floor. Now on her hooves (and one pain-numbing spell later), she glanced about.

She was still in the barrel room.

Rats...

The candles on the desk (said desk being behind Zecora) were lit and filling the room with their dim light. It cast an eerie glow over the place, making shadows that would have awoken many a filly at night with a terrible fright. Indeed, the shadows were deep, and they took sinister forms that had claws as sharp as razors and teeth larger then spikes. Colgate paused, and put a thoughtful hoof to her chin. Do shadows have to brush their teeth? And if so, then what kind of toothbrush would they use? Did they use paste? Or even flos-

Zecora cleared her throat, derailing Colgate's train of thought. “Oh, sorry Zecora. I … uh … got a little sidetracked there.”

“Yes, this was obvious to me. But now, we need to talk, my dear pony.” Zecora said, her face becoming noticeably more serious.

“About what? What's going on? How did you get here? How do we get out? Where are we?” Colgate fired out almost all at once.

“Calm down, take a rest. Dropping your frown would be best. 'What's going on? You ask. You already know, still, I'll address your task. By magic's touch you've found this place, the danger here draws your friends with haste. I allowed myself to be touched by magic's embrace, also finding myself in this far away place.” Zecora explained. Colgate found herself wishing she would just speak like a normal pony. Granted, she liked how poetic Zecora's speech was, but she did find it hard to understand from time to time.

“Wait, what do you mean by 'touched by magic's embrace'?” Colgate asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Ah, that that answer is short, for by that, I mean we came here by magical teleport.”

“But, why?” Colgate asked. “Why did you come here?”

“Patience, my little pony. Next you ask, 'Where are we?' to which I say, what do your eyes see? A lab, and also storage, under a dragons lair, so you must show courage. But I see you need to know more to end your sully, so I will tell you that we are in Deadmare Gully.”

“Deadmare Gully?” Colgate blinked a few times. Deadmare Gully? Where was that?

“That is the location of our little dungeon. It is two days south of Dodge Junction.”

“I-we're two days south of Dodge?” Colgate's mouth dropped a little. “Wait … does that mean that cave's a day's travel from here?” Zecora nodded. “So, that means the teleporter is halfway then?” Another nod. “So, wait, I'm confused. What exactly is going on here? Why are you here?”

“Quite a tale to tell, starting from the sleep where you fell. While you slept the time away, your friends chose not to stay. From the edge of the Everfree, on an ill-fated train they did ride. When bandits came, you were stolen in stride. To a cave the brought you, where magic grasped you.” Zecora paused for a moment, then looked around. “And now, here we are.” She said rather casually, and with another wince of pain.

“Wait, hold on.” Colgate said, raising a hoof. “So how are you involved in all of this? Like, why are you here? How did you get here?”

“That was easy. I simply followed all of you. It's easy to follow a train as well as the tracks of several angry ponies.” Zecora said as patiently as she could, though Colgate could tell that something wasn't right. For one thing, that didn't rhyme. And it wasn't the first time either. For another thing, she tensed up as she spoke, as if doing so hurt.

“Huh. So … you just followed us out of the Everfree, and to a bunch of rocks that bandits use?” Colgate asked, an eyebrow raised. This all seemed a bit far fetched.

“Correct, and now you ask why. At first, it was to investigate that accursed brew. With new horn and wings I flew! How could it do that, I asked? A brew that gives power unsurpassed? To my home I had hoped to take a sample, but I had to follow you to get enough to be ample.” Zecora explained.

“You know, in speaking of that, why did you drink that thing? I mean, there's no way you would have ever done that, right?”

Zecora let out a sigh,“What you say is true, and I would have simply left you. But, the brew was strong, and though I knew it wrong, I felt compelled to flow along. He was a perfect stallion, I saw, and his words rang truer any law. And though I tried to fight it, its power was too great for my wit. And when he offered me to drink, try as I might, i just couldn't think, my will standing on the brink, and down my throat the potion did sink.” She shook her head, clearly she was somewhat embarrassed, if not somewhat ashamed, about what had happened.

“And so you decided to follow us to get the bottle?” Colgate confirmed.

Zecora nodded, “Yes. But your camp I did come upon, where your friends slept soundly on. Your foes, bound in ropes, and magic in the air that rose my hopes. On your friend, a note in her apparel, that matches the marks on this barrel. And when I sought that your fate was not tragic, I found the teleporter, laced with your magic.”

“Wait,” Colgate raised a hoof once more to cut her off, “How did you know it was my magic?”

“Every unicorn's magic feels different. You see it as a color. I do as well, but I pick something up else as well. It is much like how everypony has a different sent, and how dogs use that to locate and identify ponies.” Zecora said though gritted teeth.

“Zecora, are you okay? What's wrong?”

“It seems the potion's ill effects have not fully released me yet, for my natural way of speaking has not fully returned to me; a fact that fills me with regret.” Zecora said, breaking eye contact for a moment.

“But, why? Does it have to do with you wincing in pain? Wait, are you telling me it actually hurts to not talk in ryhme for you!?” Colgate couldn't belive it. There was no way tha-

Zecora nodded.

“I-I...” Colgate wanted to say something, but words failed her completely.

“Off the topic we have wondered, for there are other questions you wanted answered.” She said, looking once more at Colgate.

“R-Right. Uh, So … what does my magic feel like?” Colgate ventured.

“Ancient” came the simple answer.

Colgate blinked. “Ancient? I'm not that old!” she objected.

“No little pony, you misunderstand. A unicorn's magic feels the same no matter their age. In my native tongue I have words to describe this, but in this one, I cannot. So I cannot tell you fully what your magic 'feels' like, but I can tell you that your magic … is ancient.” she said, her face almost grave. “I do not know how, but it is old. Very, very, very old.”

“How old is old?” Colgate said, partly afraid of the answer.

“I do not know.” she said, shaking her head, and giving a shrug. “But do not let that fill you with woe. Pushing that aside, after I activated the teleporter, I arrived here to find you asleep upon the floor. I knew there was no waking you, despite your adorable little snore. So, I investigated. I opened barrels, read schematics, and ventured into the dragon's den. There, I saw the great beast still in slumber, so I went beyond the chamber and found too many passageways to number. After much time, I found a route, and into Deadmare Gully I did come out. There, in a moment of clarity, I caught a glimpse of your destiny. You must be ready to act Colgate, for there is much to do and your journey is not yet finished. Destiny will call for you and your friends this day. But until then, here you must stay.”

“No.” Colgate suddenly said. “I'm not waiting for anypony. I'm not one to sit around, and since I have my magic back, I'm going to go right out of this gully, and I'm going head straight to the Princesses.” There was nothing in Equestria that was going to keep her here! Nothing whatsoever! She stood, turned to the path between the barrels that lead out, and stopped in her tracks. Did Zecora say 'schematics'?

“What worry has stopped your big hurry?” Zecora asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You said, 'schematics', right? What schematics?” She ventured, slowly turning her head to the zebra.

Zecora cracked a bit of a grin. “I see you do not read that language. You see, each of those papers are attempts to recreate or copy the original cloth. They were plans, most of them untried, but a few were actually attempted, and even fewer succeeded. Those that were made did not copy the powers of the original. Indeed, by comparison, their power was quite pitiful.”

“What can the original do?”

“It can wipe a pony completely clean from the fabric of time.” Zecora paused for a moment. “That is, it wipes who they are, what they can do, and the memories of all ponies who remember them, completely away. No, not wipe away, but absorb. You see, what is on these scrolls is only an image. The real marks, and their power, and memories, are all inside the original. The original red and gold cloth.” She then let out a low groan, and placed a hoof on her head. It was clear that talking was taking quite a toll on the poor Zebra.

Colgate swallowed, hard. “So, you're saying that the cloth that the griffin was using to wipe off Cutie Marks was actually absorbing them, and the pony's identity?” Her eyes were wide in shock.

“That is correct. But strangely enough, only upon ponies does it have an effect. Not even I would be affected by it. Not only that, it also, is very, very old.”

“As old as my magic?” Colgate half joked.

Zecora shook her head.

“So, Who made it?”

“A mystery I do not know, perhaps one day you shall though.” Zecroa shrugged.

“Well, who made the copies then?” Colgate was eager to hear this answer. She couldn't wait to get her hooves on whoever made that awful cloth!

“If I had to guess, it would be this griffin that took you hostage.”

“Hold on, I've been meaning to ask you about that. From what you've said, it sounds like you showed up after everything had happened. How do you even know it was griffin that did all this?” Colgate asked, eyebrow raised.

Zecora simply smiled mysteriously. “Your friends are not the only ones who can hop onto a moving train. Nor are they the only ones who know something of this villain of a griffin.”

Colgate's head begun to spin. This was so much information to take in all at once. Well, ok, it wasn't so much that it was a lot of information, but that it was being delivered via rhyme (well, okay, like half of it) and in a dark cave right after she had woken up from what felt like almost two days worth of danger, intrigue, and a dash of terror. Now, if she had prepared with quills, a good solid breakfast, and even a bit of morning jogging (gotta keep that trim figure she was proud of), then processing all of this would have been a snap. But, as it was, it was anything thing but a snap … save the small snap in her psyche if she had to listen to much more of this.

“Alright. Listen, I'm going to go. Thanks for all of the information, but I've got to sort all of this out. I've got a ton more questions, but I can't think straight right now.” Then an idea struck her. “Hey, Zecora, why don't you activate the teleporter here and send us both back?” She said, her face suddenly covered with a very large and very happy smile.

“I do not mean to rip your hopes asunder, but I cannot awaken it from its slumber. And besides, it' a one way.” She said, standing to her hooves as well.

“I-I-It's a one way!? Are you insane!? You willingly stepped into a one-way teleporter not knowing where it would take you!?” Colgate was stunned. She had never thought Zecora could be so reckless.

“Oh, but you see my little Colgate, I knew where I was going. Therefore, I did not stumble into this unknowing.” She responded, her mysterious smile becoming even more enigmatic, and painful.

It was about that point Colgate had decided that she had just enough of mysteries and Zecora's rhymes. “You know what? Fine. Thank you for coming after me, I really mean it. But we've got to go, we can't stay here!” she exclaimed and dashed for the exit.

She never knew that she had ended up tripping head over hoof and had tumbled and rolled right into a stack of barrels. For, as she had started her gallop, Zecora had quite suddenly, and quite deftly, tossed the cloth onto her horn once more, knocking her out immediately in the process.

“I'm am sorry to have lied to you my dear Colgate. But you must stay here until your friends arrive, for all of yours' is an important fate.” She looked down at her, regret for her dishonesty swelling inside. She walked over to Colgate's side, knelt down, and gave her something to drink. If Zecora guessed right, this potion would keep her out until the others arrived. She pulled out a small pouch made of a lion's mane (generously given mind you, for the lion had come in for a hair-cut and agreed to let Zecora keep the clippings. Zecora did not cut his hair, but was at the barber shop at the same time none-the-less), and placed the brown cloth inside of it. She attached a note to it that said, “Here is the swath. Give it to the one who can understand the cloth.”

With that, she stood, turned to the portal, tossed a bit of Golden Dust upon it (causing it to flare to life), and limped through the portal...

Author's Note

Come children, gather around and wrap yourselves in some warm blankets for a little story I have to tell.

But before that, this chapter would not have been possible without the help of MrAlterad, who provided many of the rhymes. Many thousands of thanks for your help.

There once was a young human. Now, this human loved to write about silly things. And they did! And they shared their silly stories with all of their friends. Such lovely friends, one and all! One day, a friend of this young human said,

"Young Human, y u so mean to your characters?!"

To which the young human said,

"Whatever do you mean? I'm silly, not mean at all!" But the young human doubted their own words, and read their silly stories with a new light. As it turned out, the young human's friend was right! Shocked, the young human began to think upon this. 'How had this happened?' the young human asked themselves. 'How could it be that I am so mean? Silly, yes, but mean none-the-less!' Still, the young human loved to write silly things, and, undeterred, charged forward with reckless abandon!

Right into the gaping jaws of karmafate! (I-is that a word? I don't think it is...)

'Ah!' said the young human, 'I shall write a chapter of a silly story in which a wise Zebra offers answers to many burning questions! What a grand idea!' the human thought. However, after beginning, the foolish human began to discover something tragic.

The young human had no talent for rhyme.

Undeterred, the human charged forward! 'I can go back and change it all after I'm done!' thought the young one. 'Surely, once I know what the wise zebra is trying to say, I can build rhymes around it! Yes, this will be easy!'

How very wrong the poor human was.

So, battered and beaten by their own foolishness, they turned to their lovely friends for help.

"Friend, do you have a talent for rhyme?" the human implored.

"Let me try." Said the kind friend. And so, after many days, the friend came back, and said, "Young Human, I have done as you have asked, and here is what I have written."

So impressed was the young one with their friend, they said, "Oh friend of mine, you have done very well. Please, can you do a little more?"

"Very well, but not much more." The friend said, tired and exhausted.

And so, many more days passed, and once again the friend returned. "I have done as you have asked, and I ask, no more." Tired was the dear friend, and grateful was the human.

"You have done enough, thank you!" And with that, the human took their friend's mighty work, and put it into the chapter. But, the young human was not done. For they needed to make their friend's words, their own. 'This will be easy!' the young human said, 'Why, half the work is done!'

But how foolish is youth, for the pain had only begun.

Once again the young human's lack of talent came back, and this time, they had no help to turn to. And so, the poor, poor human, victim to their own foolhardy youth, and the karma of their cruelty, was forced to rhyme the rhymes they had so feared...

And so children, we come to a close of this tragic story. But not all is lost, for the young human still writes their silly things, and will continue to do so. But always remember children,

Be kind to your characters, lest someday, karma comes back to haunt you...

Chapter Two: Part Fourteen

Chapter Two: Part Fourteen

If only Bon-Bon had any idea what was coming, but she didn't. Else she would have turned around, headed back to Ponyville, told the Princess and her friends about it all, and then simply lived her life as quietly and simply as her life can be lived. Granted, it wouldn't have been all that much quieter then it was before this whole thing began, but even so, it at least would have involved a lot less angry mob ponies and much, much less of … but we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Right now, she was busy trying to keep her eyebrow from twitching right off. It had begun doing so not long after the mob had finally stopped stampeding. At first, she was rather glad to back on her own hooves (for she too had been caught up by the mob and carried along), but not longer after they had placed the three of them down, had they begun complaining. In their defense, it wasn't like they had all started at once. It had begun with a few ponies who'd run out of steam and were having trouble keeping pace with the rest of the group. Then it branched out to the little ones who's legs were not as long as the others. Then the elderly joined in. Then the underpaid employees, then the over-payed employees, then th-

Something popped in Bon-Bon's forehead. She wasn't sure what it was, but it didn't feel good. It didn't hurt, but it didn't feel right either. Not mention that her eyebrow no longer could move. Well, it could, but its movements were rather feeble. It would seem that something finally gave.

“-nd the air's dusty too!

“How about some water over here?!”

“I'm not paid enough for this!”

“Can't we just go home?”

“I'm tire-”

“Ms. JubileE,” Bon-Bon said, the final complaint finally breaking her resolve to remain silent (for the record, said complaint came from Lyra), “We are MosT greatFUL that you are helping us …,” she paused a moment, trying her best to remain under control as Cherry looked at her.

“Yes, Darling?” Cherry answered with an air that dared Bon-Bon to try and address the problem at hoof.

“I-I … Nothing Ms. I-I just wanted to say thank-”

“This is boring!” came yet another complaint.

“YOU!” Bon-Bon shouted rather suddenly, firing terrible darts of hellfire from her eyes and into the gaze of the poor, undefended pony who had dared to speak. The poor pony (who, for the record, was a full-grown mare with a teal coat and a golden harp for a cutie mark) simply whimpered and shrank from the terrible gaze.

In all actuality, Cherry hadn't meant for Bon-Bon to interpret what she had said that way that Bon-Bon had. Rather, Cherry had asked the question rather good-naturedly, but due to do the stress of having to travel as they were, Bon-Bon had quite innocently misinterpreted the manner in which Cherry had asked her question. You see, despite Bon-Bon's appearance of being fairly collected, though somewhat annoyed, she hid the fact that she had been against the idea of the mob helping the whole time. Not because she wouldn't appreciate the help, but because she didn't want to put them in danger.

Even more then that however, her old boss was with them. That, more then anything, made Bon-Bon nervous. Cherry was a fairly kind employer, though she asked a great deal of her employees. Since Bon-Bon had proven herself to be more dependable and hard-working then most hired hooves she used (to their credit, most of them did work pretty hard and were pretty dependable), Cherry asked more of her then most of her employees. Thus was the reason she was chosen to help heard cats every year. That said, Cherry's business was somewhat famous for the number of employees that got hired and fired. Most were seasonal, but since she needed the best on hoof to work during peak times, she was not afraid to fire those who under performed. And since Cherry paid very, very well (enough to cover the year's utility bills, as well as both Bon-Bon, and Lyra's travel expenses), Bon-Bon was more then terrified of losing that job. So, ever since Cherry showed up accusing her of theft, Bon-Bon had been a little on edge. And since she had fairly low tolerance for complaining to begin with (though that tolerance had grown somewhat since Berry's chat), the mob's constant whining had only made her nerves all the worse.

So, it was with all that pent-up emotion that Bon-Bon had crushed the poor pony complainer with a single gaze. Indeed, had Bon-Bon the ability to launch fire from her eyes, the poor pony would have been little more then a crater in the ground. Thankfully, that pony had been Lyra, rather then one of the mob ponies (most of whom were employed by Cherry). Had it been one of the mob, Bon-Bon's unemployed fate would have been sealed (or so Bon-Bon would have assumed).

Thankfully, Cherry's a better pony then that. Or rather, thankfully, Cherry liked Bon-Bon better then that. So it was with the greatest concern and worry that she said, “Bon-Bon! Whatever is the matter with ya?” Then, turning to poor Lyra, “Are you alright darling?” Lyra simply whimpered.

Bon-Bon was sure that her eyes were red with fury, and before Cherry could look back at her, she turned her head to the side and looked down. She felt awful.

“Bon-Bon!” Cherry snapped (well, not really snapped, but Bon-Bon flinched as though she had), “What's gotten into you? This an't the Bon-Bon I know! Explain yourself!”

“I-I'm sorry Ms. Jubilee. I didn't mean to snap at you like that.” Bon-Bon said, still looking at the ground.

“I know you didn't, but it wasn't me you snapped at. It was your friend here.” Cherry said, waving a hoof towards Lyra. “Bon-Bon, please, what's goin' on? Talk to me, perhaps I can help.” Cherry said, extending a hoof towards Bon-Bon.

“It-It's just...” Bon-Bon began, “I'm sorry Ms. Jubilee-”

“Cherry. Please, call me Cherry.”

“I'm sorry Cherry,” The word felt weird in her mouth, for she wasn't used to addressing her boss by her first name, “I-I … it's been a very hard few days and I just...”

“Yes?” Cherry said, leaning closer. Little had she realized that the mob too had fallen silent and were all craning their necks to hear what Bon-Bon had to say next.

“Well …” Bon-Bon paused.

“Go on darling. What is it?” She leaned even closer, and Bon-Bon turned her face even further away in response.

Bon-Bon let out a heavy sigh. “I-I can't take the complaing...” she muttered.

“Come again?” Cherry said, putting a hoof to her ear.

“I,” Bon-Bon paused, for she felt rather embarrassed (and slightly miffed) that she had to say it louder. “I said that … I can't take the complaining...”

“Once more time Darling?” Cherry said, with a devious grin on her face. Had Bon-Bon been looking at her, she would have realized the game Cherry had just played.

So, figuring the cat was out of the bag as it were, and that she might as well own up to it, she turned, looked Cherry right in the eyes, and said very clearly, and perhaps a bit louder then was necessary, “I can't take the complaining! It drives me nuts! I know everypony's got their problems, but we all have them! All of our hooves ache, all of us are hungry, or thirsty, or whatever else! I'm sorry Ms. Cherry, but I can't take it!”

“Bon-Bon.” Cherry said somewhat quietly.

“What?” Bon-Bon half-snapped back.

“Your right eye is completely red.” She said, pointing to her own eye.

Bon-Bon blinked. She reached back into her packs, produced a mirror (handy to have when one is packing for survival, you see), and stared at her reflection. Sure enough, the white of her right eye had become completely red, and center of her eye had become discolored as well. Oh … so that's what had popped.

“But even more then that, is that really it? You yelled at your friend here just because you can't handle a little whining? Ms. Bon-Bon, I had thought you were better then than.” Cherry said while shaking her head. “I mean, you were always so dependable, and now you're getting all bent out of shape just because a few ponies feel like whining? Honestly! I thought you better then that!”

Unbeknownst to Bon-Bon, Cherry was not actually mean-spirited in her comments. Rather, she had decided that she would take this chance to teach her a small life lesson. You see, Cherry saw herself not only as an employer, but something of a care-taker of her employees. This came about not long after she opened her orchards, for several families had taken to sending their youngsters to work her fields for the summer. As a result, both her business savvy and her maternal instincts grew congruently. Or, in short, she was a kind mother kind of boss. The sort of boss that one would rather be stung by a thousand maticores then let down.

Bon-Bon however, flushed with embarrassment at being chided. “I-I'm sorry Ms. Jubilee-”

“Cherry, darling.”

“-but I just … how can you stand it?” She said, shaking her head.

“First off, here.” Cherry produced what looked to be an eye patch and handed it to her. Bon-Bon, a bit surprised that Cherry had one of these on her (“Eye accidents happen quite a lot in my orchards.” she explained), took it and placed it over her eye. “Second, think about it. I run a big business. And, as you know, I'm often in the orchards with my employees. So I'm surrounded all day for several months by ponies of all kinds. I get 'em all darling. Some who like the job and can't wait to hit the orchards, to those who'd rather be dragged by their hooves through the mud then pick cherries. So I've heard more then my fair share of complaining.”

“Hey!” came a shout from the mob.

“Let me finish Ms. Leaf. Anyway, I've had to learn to filter out the important and unimportant things. Like, if a pony complains that they got some cherry juice on their coat, it's not important.”

“Some of us stain easy!” came another shout.

“Yes, yes, White Snow. I know.” Cherry said, rolling her eyes (making sure that Mr. Snow didn't see her). “But if somepony complains that their hip suddenly feels wrong or they can't see too well, then that's worth taking a look at. You see, you wouldn't think it, but pickin' cherries is surprisingly hard on our poor pony hips. Well, if you're not a unicorn or pegasus pony that is.” She winked and smiled a little as she added that last part. “Put the point is, my dear Bon-Bon, is that you can't let it get to you. If your gonna let every little complaint get under your skin, then you're gonna blow up one day and really hurt somepony you really care about.”

“I-I … guess so...” Bon-Bon trailed off, then said nothing more as the group continued their march.

It must have been hours before somepony broke the silence, for when they did, it startled Bon-Bon just a little.

“Hey … Bon-Bon?”

Bon-Bon looked to see who the speaker was, and was a bit surprised, and a little embarrassed, that is was Lyra. Surprised because she had figured Cherry would have been the first one to speak, and embarrassed because she felt bad that she had yelled at her long-time friend.

Bon-Bon, however, said nothing in return. Rather, she simply looked at her, then looked away.

Berry, who thus far had simply watched on in silence, begun looking between the two. She wanted to say something, anything, to break the awkward silence, but nothing came. She looked back at the mob, as if somehow one of them might what to say. Nothing save awkward glances. Finally, she looked to Cherry Jubilee. To Berry, the mare had only ever been a business associate; a client who provided both a stable income and a stable supply of cherries (when they were in season that is). She had been very surprised to see this side of her. So, she was even more taken aback when Cherry's eyes told her to say the words that were on Berry's mind (or, to be more accurate, Cherry's eyes said 'Go for it!').

She took a breath. She never was talented at this sort of thing. “Hey, Bon-Bon, You alright? I mean, you're not upset are you?”

Bon-Bon looked back at her with a curious, and somewhat confused expression, “Upset? What?”

“Well, it's just that you kinda dissed Lyra right there. I mean, you kinda looked right at her when she said something to you, and you just kinda blew her off.” Bon-Bon was rather surprised at the words coming out of Berry's mouth.

“Well … I...” Bon-Bon began.

“So, what's up?” Berry pressed.

Bon-Bon let out a sigh, and looked at Lyra, “Lyra, I'm...” she glanced at the ground, “I'm sorry I snapped at you.”

“Wait, was that what was bothering you?” Berry said with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, like I said, I can't really take whining, and I hate to hurt Lyra's feelings, so I felt bad that I snapped at her. I mean, we've known each other for a long time...”

“Bon-Bon,” Berry interrupted, “I don't think you hurt her feelings. I mean, she's fine.” Berry said, pointing at Bon-Bon's long time teal friend.

Bon-Bon looked once more at Lyra. While her own feelings of embarrassment clearly showed through, she saw that Lyra did indeed look just about as normal as ever. “I-I, I just kinda thought that since I-”

“Oh Bon-Bon, you snap at me all the time!” Lyra grinned. “And sure it's annoying as all get-out, but you didn't hurt my feelings! You're fine, really!”

“I … snap at you all the time?” Bon-Bon said gingerly.

“Yep.” Lyra answered far too quickly.

“I-I see. I had no idea. I'm sorry.” Bon-Bon blushed a bit.

“It's all good. But now that we're here, would it kill ya to do a little less snapping? I mean, yeah, it doesn't hurt me, but it is kinda annoying.” Lyra said, clearly trying to be as gentle about it as possible.

“Well, it's like what Ms. Jubilee here-”

“Cherry, darling.”

“-said.” Berry motioned to the red-maned mare who had corrected her. “You gotta be more patient with this kinda thing.”

“Patient, huh?” Bon-Bon mused.

“Yeah. 'Patience breeds a better pony!' my old man always used to say.” Berry smiled.

“So, it's all good Bon-Bon. I still like ya, and we're still friends.” Lyra said, giving her a little hug.

Bon-Bon smiled. Perhaps Lyra, Berry, and Ch-Ms. Jubilee (it was weird to even think of her on a first name bases) were right. She looked up to the sky, and closed her eyes.

Perhaps … perhaps if she learned to be a little more patient, then perhaps she could finally make some real frien-

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA IS THAT?!” somepony in the mob cried out.

Bon-Bon's eyes shot open with lighting speed. At first, all she could see was clear, blue skies. Once she had lowered her gaze upon the horizon however, what she saw was much less pleasant.

Far, far ahead of them, far enough to say that the sun would have set by the time they would reached what she saw, she saw a massive cloud of dust. But even more then that, was where it was. If her sense of timing and direction was correct, it was coming from the bandit pit stop. What in Equestria could make such a massive dust cloud?

The answer came swiftly, and terrifyingly. Just as soon as she had seen the cloud, it suddenly blew into pieces and there, coming at them with high speed, was what appeared to be 5 massive monsters rocketing across the wasteland directly at them...

Author's Note

It's said that Bon-Bon was once a patient pony. But it matters little, as now she's not. Then again, perhaps she is the patient one...

Chapter Two: Part Fifteen

Chapter Two: Part Fifteen

“Oh bloody h-”

“BATTLE FORMATIONS!” Cherry cried out. Berry blinked. Battle wha? Her head whipped back to the mob and, to her great surprise, she suddenly saw the entire mass of them form ranks. Those holding torches formed a front line, followed by those who held pitchforks, followed by componies of those who had nothing.

“W-What the?!” Berry exclaimed. “W-Wait!” she cried as she saw Bon-Bon suddenly sprint to join the unhoofed ranks.

“No, Bon-Bon. You and your friends need to get to Deadmare.” Cherry said. Or, more accurately, ordered.

“Yes sir.” Bon-Bon saluted, turned about, and dashed back to one very surprised Berry, and one very, very smiley Lyra.

“Huh? Wha? But-huh?” Berry looked between her friends and the suddenly very professional-looking small army that had assembled (well, as professional any army can be when armed with standard mob attire).

“Come on Berry, we've got to get going!” Bon-Bon shouted.

“BON-BON! GET BEHIND RANKS!” Cherry ordered, then turning to the torch wielders, “FIRE!”

With one movement, the entire line drew back their hooves, and hurled a long arch of fire through the air at the five monsters that nearly bore down upon them. Many of the torches hit their marks, causing three of the terrible beasts to stagger in their terrible charge.

“PITCHFORKS, FORWARD!” Cherry commanded, and the torch bearers retreated into the rear ranks, with the pitchforks taking their place in front and bracing themselves for impact. Berry, watching all of this with a mixture of terror, and excitement, was amazed with the ease and precision with which the ponies followed her orders. The three of them had reached the rear of the small army, when they suddenly heard the sounds of the remaining two beasts ramming into the front line.

“HOLD FORMATION!” Cherry bellowed over the roar of the terrible creatures.

Berry looked towards the sounds of battle, and her mouth dropped almost to the ground. There, surrounded by ponies on every side, were two monstrous ponies! They were easily two or three times the normal size of regular ponies (full-grown stallions for that matter). They had what looked to be massive horns protruding from their foreheads and spikes protruding from their bodies (in the case of one of them, this was more figurative then literal, for its protrusions were shaped more like horns then little baby dragons), and one of them had what looked to be fire and smoke billowing from its massive mouth. Not only that, but they both had what looked to be massive wings coming from their backs. They let forth terrible roars that shook the ground and would have broken the bravery of almost any normal pony (had Berry not fallen into this category, she would have compared these roars to those of the various monsters she had seen in high-budget Applewood movies). As it was, Cherry's little army seemed to be made of tougher stuff, for, they wrestled fearlessly, and mightily, with the two beasts.

Berry, however, was not made of that tougher stuff. No, she was a fairly simple mare who was fairly normal (retched breath aside). So, after hearing those awful roars, what little courage she had left broke, and she bolted.

To say what happened immediately after that was all a bit of a blur, would be a bit of a mild understatement. All Berry knew was that she needed to not be anywhere near that battle. And so her legs pounded and pumped, and sped as fast as they could. Panic filled her mind and deafened her ears to Lyra and Bon-Bon's cries to stop. The only thing she knew, and understood, was flight from the awful sight. She actually made a respectable distance from the melee before the other two finally caught up to her, and tackled her to the ground.

“BERRY, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!” Bon-Bon shouted at her, pinning her legs.

Berry was unsure what came out of her mouth in response. She was pretty sure it was many half-words and unintelligible sounds. Most of which probably had something to do with fleeing, though no pony could be 100% sure.

“BERRY!” Bon-Bon gave her a good slap to knock some sense into her.

Berry blinked. It seems it worked. She looked at Bon-Bon and Lyra's faces, and the face of what looked to be a large air-born monstrosity that suddenly appeared in the air above them. Its face was vaguely griffin like and its forelegs ended in massive talons that were only hairs away from her friend's heads.

“BEHIND YOU!” Berry cried. Bon-Bon, with reflexes that would have made a cat envious, threw herself to the side and out of the clutching talon that would have grasped her head. Lyra however, was not quite so quick. The beast grabbed her and banked sharply, heading up.

“AH~!” Came Lyra's surprised cry, but not a moment later, her face went from surprise to a massively mischievous grin. “Watch where you're goin' ugly!” She cried out, her horn suddenly glowing brightly. The beast looked down at her, and Berry saw Lyra's magic suddenly grab its eyelids, and shut them rather hard. The beast let out a surprised cry, and brought its talons to its face, dropping Lyra in the process. Almost as if she had predicted this outcome, Bon-Bon was already in the air, ready to catch Lyra as she fell. Berry watched in amazement as the two landed with ease as the beast suddenly crashed into the ground. Before she could even finish standing up, the monster was suddenly swarmed with well-trained ponies.

Darting her eyes about, she saw nothing but chaos. In every direction around her, five terrifying monsters clashed with a venerable swarm of ponies. It was like watching ants battling monstrous termites. Ponies were sent flying every which direction, and despite their immense strength, the monsters were all but out-matched but the sheer tenacity and discipline of Cherry's army. She yelped and jumped aside as a colt was thrown from the combat, and landed directly where she had been standing. He hit with a loud thud, bounced a bit, then groaned in pain. Before Berry could reach out a helping hoof however, he was wrapped in unicorn magic, and jumped to his hooves, ready for more. He wasted no time in rejoining the fray, shouting a war cry as he charged into the melee.

“Berry!” She had no idea where the voice came from, there was too much noise around her. “BERRY!” it came, even louder, and this time she got a sense of where it was coming from (it's also worth noting that said voice had to compete with Ms. Jubilee's, for her voice could be heard as clear as a bell despite the combat. Berry had a sneaking suspicion that unicorn magic was involved).

Not far from her left side, Bon-Bon and Lyra charged towards her, both looking rather scuffed. “Berry, we gotta get outta here!” Lyra shouted over the din.

“YOU DON'T SAY?!” Might have been Berry's response if she had been feeling a little bit too sassy and sarcastic. Seeing however that she was neither, her response was more along the lines of, “HELP!”

“FOLLOW ME!” Bon-Bon bellowed, and banked sharply, and charged directly at the heart of the conflict.

“ARE YOU CR-”

“SHUT UP AND FOLLOW US!” Lyra cut Berry's objection off, and grabbed her right foreleg with a hard tug. Without thinking much, she obeyed and chased directly after Lyra. When they reached the very edge of the action, they paused for a moment. “GRAB MY TAIL! OWCH!” Lyra cried as Berry chomped down. Huh, it really was minty flavored...

Ahead, she saw Bon-Bon jump from one pony's back to another, and even the face of the odd beast, to end with an acrobatic flip over a sizable chunk of the battle.

“HERE WE GO!” Wait, was she seriou-

And quite suddenly, she felt herself lift off the ground as Lyra took a mighty leap onto the back of a nearby pony. Berry found herself airborne for a moment, and before gravity could take its hold, she was suddenly jerked another direction as Lyra took another leap. Jump after jump, leap after leap they made their way across the skirmish. Berry, quite scared, had shut her eyes and decided that she should continue to keep them closed until her hooves were safely on the ground, or until Lyra said to open them, or both. Preferably both. All around her she could hear the clash of hoof and tooth on each other, and the terrifying cries of the monstrous creatures as they struggled mightily against Ms. Jubilee's forces.

Then, all at once, she felt herself on the ground. Granted, she had more or less fallen there, but she had done so softly. She felt a deliberate tug from the tail that was thoroughly chomped between her teeth. She cracked one eye open. Before her stood Lyra, looking at her with a look expectation, and a bit of pain. Berry felt another deliberate tug. She let go, and got to her hooves.

“Alright, now that we're outta that mess, let's keep going!” Lyra said, panting ever so slightly.

“Agreed. The Brigade should be able to keep them busy while we escape.” Bon-Bon nodded, also slightly winded. Berry looked behind her. Indeed, the whole of the fighting was now behind them. She turned her head to see what was ahead of her. It was still a far way's off, but she could see the pit stop.

“Wait, Brigade? What? What's going on?! Escape?” Berry's eyes shot back and forth between everything there was to look at.

“I'll answer all of your questions when we're safe again, until then, come on, we've got to see if we can get that teleporter to work!” Bon-Bon said, and ran off, Lyra right on her hooves. Berry was more then frightened, but it seemed like these two knew what they were doing, so she decided to follow after them. They ran quite fast, and Berry had trouble keeping up, but managed all the same.

“Bon-Bon! We're not moving fast enough!” Lyra shouted.

“I know! I'm trying to figure out how to fix that little problem!” Bon-Bon shouted. Berry glanced behind her, and saw the reason for Lyra's alarm. While they were keeping them in check, it was clear that the monsters were doing all they could to chase after the three of them. It caused the entire battle to chase after them. Berry let out a small cry and faced forward once more, and began running with a bit more vigor. “Berry!” Bon-Bon turned to look at her. “I hate to ask this of you, but do you have any more of that drink you made? I think it's the only way we can make the distance we need before they break free!”

“B-But I-”

“I know! And I'm sorry to ask you to break your promise to Colgate like this, but it's the only way we can make it!” Bon-Bon cried, casting a glance behind her. Her eyes suddenly opened a bit wider, and her pace picked up.

“I-I-” Berry stumbled.

“This is an emergency Berry!” Lyra shouted.

“I,” Berry paused (in speech mind you, for she was most certainly still running at top speed), “I can't do it! I won't do it! I broke my word once, and I can't break her trust like that again! I just can't!” She yelled.

“Berry, that's very admirable of you, bu-”

“Give it to me!” Lyra said quite suddenly.

“Huh?” came both their replies.

“Remember? The wings?”

Bon-Bon and Berry exchanged glances. Oh yeah, Berry had totally forgotten about that. That would work, save there was one little problem...

“I don't have it! I-” Berry's words suddenly died as the bottle's fate hit her.

She had left it for the poor, hapless, tied-up bandits. Her eyes wide and mouth moving wordlessly, she glanced back. The battle was still raging with no sign of stopping, and it was clear that Cherry's forces were beginning to loose the upperhoof.

What in the name of Celestia had she done?

“Berry!” Bon-Bon's words knocked her out of her sudden revere. “Lyra's right! Giver her the bottle!”

“I don't have it! I left it for those ponies you tied up!”

“WHAT!?” came the rather hoarse cry from both Bon-Bon and Lyra. Well, ok, it was only a little hoarse, it was more loud and shocked then anything.

“Well, I couldn't just leave them there without something to drink in the hot sun!”

“BERRY! OF ALL THE THOUGHTLESS THING TO DO-”

“Bon-Bon!” Lyra interrupted her.

“Right, sorry, but still, you don't have it?!”

“No! And it's not like I can just wish it out of thin ai-”

And then it appeared out of thin air, right into poor Berry's face.

Understandably, the sudden impact made Berry loose her balance, and she tumbled head over hoof as she rolled to an ungraceful stop. Her head spun, and she found herself feeling that horrible headache from the train come calling once more. She stumbled to her hooves, and looked down at the ground. Sure enough, there it was, the bottle. It was nice and full for good measure as well.

“Berry! You ok?” Lyra said, skidding to a sudden halt.

“What happened?” Bon-Bon asked, also skidding to a sudden stop.

“I-I have the bottle...” she said, a bit stunned. She picked it up with her hoof, and looked at it. Sure enough, the exact same bottle. Not even a scratch on it save the “A.B.” that Berry herself had etched onto it. The bottle. It-it just appeared. How? That was impossible! It was gone! Sure, she had seen it refill itself, but this … this was something else all together. Then it began to dawn on her. Zecora. The Pinkie pile. The train. All of those times she had lost it, and all of those times it had reappeared in her possession. She hadn't noticed at the time, for her mind had been on other things, but now, the truth hit her right in the face.

She could summon the bottle at will.

Or was it that the bottle summoned itself? Berry dropped it suddenly at the thought. What had she made? What had she done? If only she had listened to Zecora in the first place (for she had told her that it was a foalish idea to make that thing)! If only she had done what she should have and never made the brew to begin with! If only-

Pop!

Her head whipped to the side as she suddenly saw Lyra chugging the thing wholesale.

“LYRA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THIS THING IS CURSED!” Berry cried out.

Lyra suddenly gagged as she drank, and dropped the bottle, causing brew to fly about and make a terrible mess all over the place. Seriously, who's gonna clean this up? These freaking ponies and their-

**Ahem**

Lyra coughed a few times, and gagged a little. “B-Berry! Don't sc-scare me like that!” Lyra coughed out. “I'm fine! I know what I'm doing!” She said, as her ears suddenly melted into her head. Berry let out a startled shout and stepped back several paces as Lyra's midsection began swelling to monstrous sizes and her limbs began melting into it, just like her ears. She watched on as her entire figure took on that rather disconcerting shape from the castle. She jumped a little when the wings simply popped out at the very end, almost as though they were an afterthought.

“Doesn't that hurt?” Both Bon-Bon and Berry asked in unison.

“Nah, not really. Feels weird, yeah, but not painful. But we gotta go!” she said, taking to the air. After a moment's hesitation, the other two hopped on. Not a moment too soon either, as a small cluster of ponies and one of the monsters suddenly crashed down upon where they stood. Lyra, having learned the lessons from the castle well (that is, her crash course in flying), was able to pick up much speed and leave the entire battle far behind them.

After many pulse pounding minutes, it slowly became clear that they were safe. Well, safe from the battle anyway. Berry let out a breath that she hadn't be aware she had been holding. Though it came right back when she had accidentally looked down.

“You guys alright?” Lyra asked.

“Yeah. We seem to be alright, for the most part.” Bon-Bon said.

Berry's gaze was fixed on just how high up they had come and just how fast they were going. In actuality, they were not all that high off the ground, but when one is used to having their hooves on said surface, such technicalities are somewhat meaningless. “Berry, look up.” Bon-Bon said calmly. “If you keep looking down, you'll only make it worse.”

“I-I, sure.” Berry said, peeling her eyes from the ground. Bon-Bon was right. If she just looked ahead, it wasn't nearly as bad. Still a little unsettling, but at least not as bad. “W-What was that!?” Berry asked. “What in Equestria happened? WHO ARE YOU GUYS?!” She asked, looking between the giant flying … Lyra-thing, and Bon-Bon.

Bon-Bon let out a sigh. “Well, I suppose we owe you even more answers, don't we?” Berry nodded. “Alright. So, where to begin. Well, I suppose explaining what the deal with Ms. Cherry was would be a good start.” She looked ahead to the distance. “I figure we have a fair bit of time before we reach the teleporter. Not quite enough time to explain everything, but at least a few things.”

“So, wait, what exactly is the plan? Mind telling me that first?” Berry said.

“Well, we reach the teleporter, activate it, and pull Colgate out. I had initially planned that we would just head to Deadmare and get some answers from the bandits hiding out there, then either leave with Colgate, or rescue her via stealth, that is, assuming that she's actually at Deadmare. But this is getting too big. I think the best idea is to just grab her, wherever she is, and head back to Ponyville. This is something the authorities, or even the Princess should handle.” Bon-Bon explained. “I sent Twi-Princess Twilight a letter explaining the situation this morning. So, hopefully she'll take this to the Royal Sisters and they'll take care of this.” She looked wistfully back towards the direction of Ponyville.

“That makes sense. And I guess Colgate and I can hunt down the brush once they've taken care of it.” Berry said, letting out a sigh. She was rather happy to hear that this would soon be over, though admittedly a little sad that they would have to wait for a little bit before they could continue her and Colgate's little adventure. After all, better to sit at home and wait for the Princesses to clear this all up, rather then risk becoming involved. “So, does that mean you guys'll stay behind in Ponyville?”

“I don't want to, but that's not really my call.” Lyra commented.

“I don't know. I suppose that would depend on where we're needed.” Bon-Bon, her voice slightly detached.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Berry asked.

If both Lyra and Bon-Bon had been ponies, they would have exchanged a glance, and then let out a collective sigh. Since that was not the case, only Bon-Bon let out a sigh.

“We … we haven't been completely honest with you Berry.” Bon-Bon began. “And … well, we still can't.” she said, looking somewhat pained.

“It's not like we don't want to be, it's just that...” Lyra added.

“We can't.” Bon-Bon finished for her.

Berry was one part surprised, two parts crestfallen. “Why?” She asked.

“I'm afraid we can't tell you that either. But … what we can tell you is that Lyra and I do more then just part-time work.” Lyra let out an audible 'ahem' when Bon-Bon said that last part. “Sorry, do more then have part-time and full-time jobs.” Had Lyra been a pony, she would have let out a somewhat smug smile at Bon-Bon's correction.

“So … do you work for the Princesses?” Berry ventured.

Bon-Bon's mouth pressed tightly as she considered her response. “No … well … not directly. And even then, only from time to time.”

“Bon-Bon?” Lyra said, her question sounding like a mild warning.

“Yes yes Lyra. I know. Don't worry.” she answered. “I won't divulge anything beyond what's okay.”

“Like what?” Berry asked before she could stop herself.

Bon-Bon looked at her with eyes both mildly unamused, and teasing. “Really Berry? You think I can answer that question?”

“Sorry, it just kinda shot out before I could stop it...” Berry blushed slightly.

“Anycase, I can tell you this. Both Lyra and I are part of an information network. I can't say what for or who's, just that we are one of many eyes and ears. And one of those we listen to, and watch, is Ms. Jubilee. You see, she does more then run a cherry plantation. She also maintains a very large information network. A network that Lyra and I are supposed to tap into. Ms. Jubilee however is aware of this. Luckily for us, both she and our employer are allies, and thus she allows us to do our job without much trouble.”

“So, you don't herd cats for her?” Berry asked.

“Well, yes. She does hire me to do actual labor. But 'herding cats' applies to both what I do for her plantation, and what we do for our other employer. And to clarify, yes, I do actually heard cats. It's a tough job, but somepony's got to do it.”

“And she's pretty good at it too!” Lyra chimed up.

“No better then anypony else I work with.” Bon-Bon shrugged.

“Ah, come on! You were hoof-picked! Don't be so modest!” Lyra countered.

“Anyway,” Bon-Bon said, waving a dismissive hoof, “that's not important.”

“Hey, Bon-Bon, what's all this have to do with Cherry having an army?” Berry asked.

“Very little actually.”

“That's not totally true...” Lyra added.

“Well … yes. It does have to do somewhat with why I work for her. You see, our employer wants us to, 'keep tabs', on her troops. The reason she has her little brigade is actually pretty simple.” Bon-Bon explained.

“Bandits?” Berry ventured.

Both Bon-Bon and Lyra blinked in mild surprise. Well, Lyra would have if she could have. “Y-Yes actually.” Bon-Bon stammered. “She has problems with bandit raids. Not only that, but the raids are usually really well organized, so anypony who works in her orchards is required to undergo some military training. Well, anypony who lasts longer then a single season. And since most of the town either has or works her orchards, most of the town has military training.”

“Oh...” was all Berry could manage. “So, why didn't you just say that to begin with and skip the whole spy thing?”

Bon-Bon's face suddenly looked as though it had been whacked with a board. “I-I don't know...” she mused, “I suppose I just wasn't thinking...”

Lyra let out a sigh, figuratively speaking of course. “Bon-Bon's got a good head on her shoulders, but sometimes it just kinda falls of, if you get my meaning.” Berry was pretty sure Lyra would have winked at her.

Bon-Bon cleared her throat. “Y-yes, anyway. The point is that we head to the teleporter, go in, grab Colgate, get out, head home, warn Twilight, and then await further orders.”

“We?” Berry asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, Lyra and I anyway. I guess you're free to do whatever you want.” Bon-Bon answered.

“So, did you guys follow us because you were ordered to?” Berry was suddenly very worried that she had become involved in something much, much bigger then she had ever wanted to.

“Actually, no.” Lyra said. “We pretty much did it 'cause we wanted to. I mean, it's not like we work for our boss all the time.”

“Really?” Berry looked at Bon-Bon.

“Pretty much.” Bon-Bon shrugged. “But with the recent turn of events, I'd be hard pressed to believe that our employer,” she stressed the word rather firmly, “wouldn't have orders for us.”

“Yeah, I suppose that makes sense, doesn't it?” Berry admitted. She was once again a little sad at the thought that she and Colgate would have to continue on alone, but at least now she understood why. “Well, what if your bo-” Bon-Bon gave her a hard look, “-employer wanted you guys to stick with us?” she asked, feeling a little hopeful.

“Then you'd be stuck with us until the boss says otherwise.” Lyra answered, getting a hard look from Bon-Bon. Berry smiled a little at this thought. She would be very glad for their compony, and hoped against hope that they would be ordered to stick with them, even if it meant that somepony (she assumed Princess Celestia, or would have if she was a conspiracy nut) would be basically spying on them.

“Hooves crossed, eh?” Berry said with a smile.

“I supp-Berry,” Bon-Bon's eyes suddenly shot wide open and she turned to look at her, “How many bandits did I tie up again?”

“Huh?” came Berry's confused response.

“At the pit stop, how many bandits did I tie up again? Was it 5?” Bon-Bon said with growing concern.

“No, I don't think so. Wasn't it...”

“6?” the both of them said at the same time.

The was a heavy pause.

“And how many monsters attacked us?” Bon-Bon's voice became a bit more intense.

“5...” Lyra responded.

“So … where's the 6th?” Berry asked, her voice quivering slightly.

Both her and Bon-Bon (and presumably Lyra) looked at each other, then ahead at the pit stop.

“May-Maybe the 6th one didn't take a drink?” Berry said with a high pitch to her voice.

Bon-Bon's face became hard, and her voice became dangerously low, “I very much doubt that...”

Author's Note

Upon sharing this with a friend, they said to me: "Okay, now I'm officially afraid of Cherry!" But I was sad, because Cherry is a nice pony. Well, kinda sad. Sorta...in a sense.

Okay, okay ... I was immensely pleased. But that's beside the point! The point is that Cherry is actually a very nice pony. A nice pony who happens to have a professional army at her beck and call, and very massive international information network.

Also: I say 'colt', but I mean a full grown pony dude.

Chapter Two: Part Sixteen

Chapter Two: Part Sixteen

Time Turner stretched as the morning sun warmed his face. He turned to look at one of his many, many, many clocks. He had awoken exactly 13 minutes and 27 seconds prior to the set alarm time. Perfect. 5.3 seconds to get out of bed. 30.46 seconds to arrive to the rest room. 17.34 minutes to shower. 7.43 minutes to brush the teeth (half the time Colgate often recommended, but the idea of spending 14.86 minutes on that task seemed simply like a deplorable expenditure of time). Rise. Spit. 5.32 minutes to arrive to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. What to eat? He allowed himself no more then 3.00 minutes to ponder and decide. Bananas. Some thought it an odd choice, but then again, some thought his avid detestment of pears to be odd. Horrid things, pears. 5.72 minutes to eat. 1.56 minutes to wash hooves. 2.29 minutes to enter shop.

Time Turner was, first and foremost, a scientist, an academic, and a scholar. Secondarily, he was a merchant. He rather detested being one, but a pony needs bits to fund their studies, and due to the rather hoity nature of the Canterlot Society of Magical and Scientific Studies, he had to work for them. Despite his many attempts to persuade them to the contrary, they had felt that his field of research did not merit funding. So, denied his much needed grants, he had to sell clocks and hourglasses for a living. He let out a small sigh as he dusted off the various good that ticked away merrily in his store. All those years of study, the letters of introduction, being given the most noble honor of being able to appear before the Princess's personal panel of Magical and Scientific Innovations and Endeavors, and here he was selling clocks. It is worth nothing however, that the board did not contain Princess Celestia herself. Rather, the board decided if what was brought before it was worth bringing before the Princess. It is also worth noting that he had gotten that far not once, but thrice. Once for each Princess (and, if given the chance, he had planned on trying a forth time). But still, they felt that it wasn't yet a valid field of research.

He glanced longingly over at his PhD. It hung on the wall behind his counter. The letters still shined like the day he was awarded it.

Canterlot University of Sciences and Magical Studies

We hereby decree that

Mr. Hooves

Having with honor and excellence fulfilled all requirements set heretofore by the officers and professors of this institution as well as her most noble and honorable majesty herself,

Princess Celestia

has been found worthy of, and from henceforth, to be a recipient of the degree of

Doctorate of Temporal Sciences
Major: Scientific, Magical, and Theoretical Application and Study

and bestow upon him all due honors, rights, and privileges pertaining to this most noble of degrees.

He'd never forgotten how that mistake with his name had come about. Due to unforeseen events, his award ceremony had been horribly delayed, and even when it had all come together, it had been a very last minute affair. So much so that they had to ask what his name was as he approached the stage. When he had whispered “Time Turner”, the old pony who had asked had answered, “Mr. Whos?” (she had a bit of an accent you see). As a result, the equally old pony giving him the award had misheard her and had announced him as “Mr. Hooves”, and since the diploma was blank, a third pony had scribbled that name onto the paper just before handing it to him. And before he could correct him, he had been ushered out of the room and the diploma had been framed and shipped to his home.

Luckily for him, this rather notable clerical error had never proven to cause him any problems. And while he could get it fixed, he had decided to keep it that way as a painful reminder of just how important it is to be punctual. Granted, he was always that way. Always had been. But the one time he allowed himself to slip, this had happened (though, to this day, he still had to admit that the pre-award party was really quite fun). Well, it was too late now. It's not like he could go back in time and fix it.

Well … that wasn't completely correct. In theory it was possible. According to his research, Star Swirl the Bearded had proven that it was possible, and, if you gave the rumors credit, he had attempted to do so himself. He had also heard rumors of Princess Twilight having played with time travel, but that too was unfounded. At least, in his attempts to approach her with the matter, her answers were always inconclusive, though that may have had to do with the fact that every time he tried to discuss it with her, his ability to form coherent sentences crumbled. So, as far as he knew, no pony has ever successfully traversed time. If only he had been born a unicorn! If he had, then perhaps he could have the ability to prove his theories! But, sadly, it was not so. He was an earth pony. An earth pony with a talent for time. Then again, he mused, if he had been born a unicorn, then odds were that he would have caused all sorts of mischief. Why, he wagered, that he would eventually get so lost in the wibbley wobbliness that is time that he would have ended up forgetting when he was from! But, as it was, his talents and skills were limited by his birth. He did have one thing going for him however: He had been born with with his cutie mark. Granted, he had no idea what this meant, but surely, it meant something, right?

But we digress, for there are more important things on hoof then the petty lamentations of a clock maker. Things like, how Berry, Bon-Bon, and Lyra got their flanks thoroughly, and quite liberally, kicked...

As they sped towards the stone outcropping that marked their destination, all three ponies (well, two ponies and a flying foot) could feel a growing sense of dread. Would the sixth monster be there? And if it was, what would it be like? And more importantly, would they have to somehow battle it? If they were lucky, then perhaps they could avoid a fight, and head straight to the teleporter. Bon-Bon was unsure what they were going to face, but she hoped that whatever it was, they would be able to handle it.

It would only be a matter of moments now before they hit the outcropping. Only a matter of moments until impact...

They landed safely in the center of the camp, and as Lyra touched down, Bon-Bon hopped off and Berry gingerly slid off the massive flying … thing. There was nothing. Well, nothing aside from the various rocks that jutted up out of the earth and the little cave that was their destination. It was, quiet … too quiet. Quiet enough for even silence to be weary of terrible one-liners...

Bon-Bon shook the silly thought from her head. Now was not the time for such things. “Alright,” she paused, looking around once more, “Let's head to the cave, slowly...” she practically whispered. Owing to the rather unnaturally unnoisy nature of their location, it was easy for the other two to hear her, and to begin creeping their way there alongside her. Bon-Bon knew there was trouble. Nothing was ever this silent without a good reason. Still, there was nothing thus far to bar their way. She paused for a moment. There was nothing at all. No debris, no boxes, nothing. It was as though nopony had ever been here. Not even hoof-prints. This suddenly troubled Bon-Bon greatly. There was a fair bit of rubble when they had left yesterday, where was it all now?

“Lyra,” Bon-Bon said rather quietly, “can you hear anything? Anything at all?” Bon-Bon glanced over at her, and winced as she saw two oversized ears pop, rather suddenly, out of her flying friend. They turned this way and that, craning for anything that might make a peep.

“Nothin' Bon-Bon.” Lyra said. “If that sixth one is here, he or she must be either too scared to come out, or is really, really good at hiding.”

It was about then they began to hear a soft, and unbelievably beautiful melody. Bon-Bon, wise to such oddities, opened her mouth, “RUN! RUN FOR THE CAVE!” She wasn't about to let herself be fooled, or lulled into some sort of trap. So, she booked it.

Upon reflection, it would have been wiser to simply land right in front of the cave, rather then a notable amount of paces away from it. As it was however, they had chosen unwisely. For, as she made her way with great haste, all of the debris that Bon-Bon had been wondering about suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, shot from behind a large stone and plugged the entrance to said cave.

“ABORT! GET ON LYRA!” Bon-Bon shouted, and pivoted rather sharply to leap upon the flying one. Pity it was that her flying friend was nowhere near her. In alarm, she looked back at her two companions. They were conscious, clear-eyed, and in seemingly good condition. They were also dancing.

Even Bon-Bon had to pause for a moment. She didn't know how a pony and a … um … whatever Lyra was, could perform with such grace, beauty, and unparalleled majesty. But by Celestia, they were doing it! She watched as their forms blended together, then melted apart. Berry's moments were perfect, and Lyra's constantly shifting shape only served to highlight, if not enhance, their grace. With spins, twists, and leaps, they flew about the rocks, their movements unhindered by such petty concerns as gravity or the laws of physics. If Bon-Bon thought she knew the meaning of art and beauty, she had just been proven wrong. Very, very wrong.

Poor Bon-Bon. She had tried so hard to avoid a trap. She really had. But, one pony can not predict all things. As it was, there she was, completely defenseless, transfixed on her friends' endless dance. She didn't notice a figure pass her, nor did she notice when it approached her two friends. She barely noticed it when it stepped between the two, joining in their dance. She saw little more then a third figure when it had taken the lead, and it had slid further into her notice when the dance was no longer about the beauty of grace, but the beauty of her. Indeed, no longer was this dance the very pinnacle of all beauty in Equestria.

The mare in the center now stood upon, nay, conquered that pillar.

Words cannot describe what Bon-Bon saw. The dance no longer even seemed worthy of notice. There, in between the two, stood a mare who's beauty had surpassed anything Bon-Bon could have ever dreamed to see. Her mane, tail, and coat all shimmered with a light that stole her breath. Her poise, her movements, it mattered not how she moved or what she did, for Bon-Bon's words failed her and her mind was lost. All thoughts of anything less then she were unworthy, and thus purged with fire! Bon-Bon knew mind control. She knew magical compulsion. This … was neither. There was nothing forcing her to stand still. There was nothing forcing her to lower her guard. No, she was helpless not because some force was making her. She was helpless because she was simply in awe. How could she turn away from this? How could she bring an end this? To do so would be to deprive herself of something that she would never again see. Indeed, to do anything would be to defy and defile logic and reason itself.

In short: she was simply unwilling to do anything, so in awe was she.

Which made the fist blow a complete, and total surprise. In truth, Bon-Bon didn't even know anything hit her until her eyes had blurred and her vision had filled with dirt. The pain didn't even kick in until the second blow as well, which blow had sent her flying back several paces. It was right about then she suddenly got the idea that something wasn't quite right. She rolled, stood, and turned around to face the mare once more. There she was, still in the middle of her two friends as they danced. A malevolent grin spread across her face as stood upon her hind legs. Bon-Bon watched, transfixed once more, as she lifted her forelegs high into the air, threw her head back, and let forth a note that could only be described as: transcendent. The pain was gone, and Bon-Bon stood, helpless, as the mare spread her forelegs to the side, and with a sudden forward lunge, sent two pieces of wood flying out of the debris and directly at Bon-Bon. It was that act that finally broke her revere. Not so much the sudden nature of it, nor the hostility. No, it was something much more simple.

The mare had used magic to throw that wood at her, and that mare, did not have a horn.

She let out a surprised yelp as she ducked under the wood, and with speed that surprised her, she lunged forward. Roll, dodge, weave, jump. She flew through the air directly at the mare, hoof reared back and ready for the strike!

It met with a satisfying impact, directly on Lyra. Luckily, for that moment, Lyra had taken the form of a light green metal pole, and so the impact to her was minimal. To Bon-Bon however, it hurt like like hay. She was blown back by the deflection, for the mare had used Lyra unto that end, and landed on a plank of wood. She felt the ground beneath her suddenly lift up, knocking her off balance. She looked, just in time to get more wood smacked into her face. She let out a grunt and she rolled back, into a pouncing position. She let out a slow breath. She was no warrior. She had never received any proper combat training, and she most certainly had no ability to fight a battle like this. That is, if she thought about it. She closed her eyes.

Let go. Let it all go. Don't fight it, just let it flow.

She slowly opened her eyes. She was in the air, mid-leap from one flying board to another.

Let it flow. Don't question, just let it flow.

She bounded off it, and onto the face of a nearby rock, and like a cat, bounced off of that directly towards the mare. Turning its head slightly, it smiled as Berry suddenly jumped directly into Bon-Bon's path. Bon-Bon watched as her foreleg easily, and effortlessly slipped under Berry's armpit, used her own weight to move her aside, and watched as her other leg made contact with the mare's own face. The mare, rightly surprised, was knocked off her hooves from the blow, and crashed hard into the ground. The song died, and Berry tripped mid-step and fell to the ground. Lyra, still a pole, simply fell and stuck into the ground.

Bon-Bon, still an observer, watched as she ran over, grabbed Lyra with her teeth, and lunged once more for the mare. The mare's eyes were panicked, and she scrambled out of the way as the pole smashed into the dirt where she had lay. Bon-Bon, being one to not waste momentum, swung forward on the pole and gave the mare a solid kick with her rear hooves. Pity it was that she was ready for that.

She spun with the impact, and grabbed Bon-Bon's rear legs. She continued her spin, lifting Bon-Bon off the ground, and threw her into a nearby stone. Bon-Bon's body prepped itself for the impact, thus reducing the pain and allowed her to dodge the follow-up attack. The mare's hooves barely missed Bon-Bon as she rolled. Though she doubted that the wooden box that was suddenly flying at her would miss. Once more without thought or resistance, she allowed herself to throw Lyra directly into the box, causing it to shatter on impact.

BAM

Something hard hit the back of her head, causing her to roll once more. Another slam hit right next to her as continued the roll. She popped out of it, landing on her hooves. She opened her mouth, and as if she had summoned it herself, the Lyra-pole was in it once more.

The two stood there for a moment. Both were breathing hard, though Bon-Bon had clearly gotten the worse of it. They looked at each other, appraising the other.

“W-who are you?” Bon-Bon asked.

The mare opened her mouth, but only music came out. Music without lyrics.

“W-what? C-can't you talk?” she stumbled out. It was hard to talk without wind and with a pole in one's mouth.

Once more the mare opened its mouth, and Bon-Bon saw its lips move as though it were speaking, but once more, nothing but beautiful music came forth.

Bon-Bon thought for a moment. If all of the bandits had taken a drink of that brew … then that would mean that this mare could only be...

She blinked. “It's you! The stallion from Smokey Mountain! The ugly one!”

The mare's eyes flashed with fire, but it gave a slow nod. Once more it opened its mouth to speak, and once more only music it spake. She stamped a hoof in frustration, and tried to speak again. More music. She would have let out an angry roar and stomped the ground with her front hooves out of rage and frustration, but she could only really do the latter (the attempt at the former yielded a very lovely aria). The mare pointed an angry hoof at Bon-Bon, and began singing a rather energetic melody; one that did not match the face full of pounding blood vessels of fury that begun to crisscross her spotless face. Even then, rather then detract from her beauty, they changed it from one kind, to another. Finally, her patience broke, and she charged.

Bon-Bon had rather hoped that would happen.

One series of bold, loud, and rather large BIFFS, POWs, BLAAAAMs, and even one THWACK later, Bon-Bon stood over her battered and beaten foe. Breathing heavy, and covered in various and sundry scuffs and scratches, she had to admit, it had been one mighty brawl (and how!). She spit Lyra out and she landed with a solid **clang** on the ground.

“T-th … that's ho-how it's done!” Bon-Bon gasped.

“U-urk...” was all the mare could manage. Her limbs twitched and her eyes spiraled about.

“R-Right...” Bon-Bon panted, “Let's … get going...” She stood there, breathing heavily for a moment, then slowly, ever so slowly, began walking to the cave.

“B-Bon-Bon?” Berry's voice felt far away, “Wh-What was that?!”

Bon-Bon turned to Berry, her head hanging low. That fight took quite a bit out of her, and even holding her head up was proving to be difficult. “L-Lyra … would you m-mind explaining?” she said.

“Got it!” piped up the light green pole. Berry's head turned to Lyra as she once more changed her shape to the flying thing. “So, Bon-Bon's never had any real combat training, right?”

“You can't tell me that after what I just saw! What about Cherry's army? And-and THAT!” she pointed a hoof at the mare on the ground. “She even said herself that everypony who's worked in Cherry's orchards gets some kind of training!”

“Well, that's just it Berry,” Lyra explained, “She's never worked in Ms. Jubilee's orchards.”

“B-But...” Berry's mouth hung open, “What about when they got all lined up and stuff? I saw Bon-Bon head into it, like she knew what she was doing!”

“Oh, that? She was heading to the center, the safest spot. That's what Cherry teaches the ponies who don't have any formal training to do.”

“Oh...” Berry said, obviously a little disappointed. “But even so! What about what just happened?!” she said, a little frustrated.

“B-Berry,” Bon-Bon began, her wind catching back up with her, “I can't really control it.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Berry blinked.

“R-Right … for the sake of time, let's just put it this way: What I did, I can only do if I just kinda let my body move on its own. I don't really understand why I can do that, nor do I,” she paused, taking a few breaths, “know how I can. All I know is that I've been able to do it for a very long time.”

“How long?” Berry asked.

“As long as I've known her.” Lyra piped up.

“And how long is that?”

“I-” Lyra and Bon-Bon shared an uncomfortable glance.

“A long time.” Bon-Bon said finally.

Berry let out a snort, but said nothing more. Bon-Bon was rather glad for it, for the last thing she wanted to deal with was Berry flying off the handle again. While she would have liked to tell her, there are just somethings that she couldn't.

“Y-yeah,” Lyra said, breaking the awkward silence, “so, this teleporter?”

“Right! Lyra, can you go back to being … normal?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Uh … not sure how. I'm not really sure how to even control my shape when I'm like this.” Lyra admitted. This did not please Bon-Bon, but she was more annoyed then angry.

“I know how!” Berry said rather cheerfully. “Take another swig! It changed me back when I did, so I'm sure it'll do the same to you!”

Bon-Bon and Lyra looked to each other. If they could have, they would have both shrugged. “Worth a shot I suppose.” Bon-Bon ventured.

“Alright, I'll try. Where is it?” Lyra asked.

Berry's face scrunched with concentration as she held a hoof out. Bon-Bon watched, and was rather surprised when a bottle quite suddenly, and magically, appeared in Berry's waiting hoof.

“Woah. How did you do that Berry?” Lyra asked, clearly amazed.

“I-I'm not sure. I just kinda … wanted it to pop into my hoof, and it did.” she shrugged.

“Are you sure about this? You said it was cursed and told her to not drink it.” Bon-Bon pointed out.

“No, not at all. But until I can figure out how to get rid of this evil thing, I guess we might as well use it. I mean, I hate to admit it, but it has saved our flanks like, three or four times now.” Berry said, clearly not liking the words coming out of her mouth.

“It's also caused all of our problems thus far, well, most of them anyway.” Lyra countered.

“Y-yeah …,” Berry sighed, “but it's too late to do anything about that now, right?”

“I suppose we could...” Bon-Bon paused, then looked down as the mangled mare. “Give him some, let's see what happens.”

“I-I don't know about this. What if it only makes him-her-it stronger?” Lyra said.

There was a pause as they all considered this.

“Lyra, can you use your magic like that? If you can, I don't think you'll need to change back.” Bon-Bon hoped th-

Nope. Not at all.” Lyra said flatly. “Well, I can make myself levitate, but that's about it, and even then only when I'm small.” Well horseapples. “Look, just let me take a swig. If it works, then there's no problem. And if it doesn't, then I guess I'll be the best feather-duster anypony could ever hope to be!”

This time, both Berry and Bon-Bon exchanged glances. Then, hesitantly, and a little fearfully, Berry gave the bottle to Lyra. Or rather, to be more accurate, laid it on top of her, since she could see no hooves or mouth to put the bottle into.

“Um … how are you going to drink it?” Berry asked.

“You just had to ask, didn't you?” Bon-Bon said.

Before Berry could open her mouth to respond, Lyra suddenly, and quite alarmingly, changed into a giant pair of lips. Said lips then opened, and simply swallowed the bottle wholesale. Both mares stared in both horror and fascination at this rather … unexpected turn of events. After several tense moments, Lyra began to glow, twist, bend and then finally become enveloped in a blinding glow of golden light. Both mares shielded their eyes from it, and when it died down a few moments later, there stood one very normal looking Lyra.

“It worked!” Lyra cried.

It took Bon-Bon a few moments to recover from what had just happened, after which she said, “You're alright? Nothing off or strange?”

“Nope! I feel perfect! Even my magic feels normal again!” Lyra grinned from ear to ear.

“That's good. Hopefully then we can get that teleporter working.” Bon-Bon replied.

“Ohhh! That's why you asked about her magic!” Berry said.

“Yes, I assume that we'll need it to activate the teleporter, and I had assumed, rightly so it would seem, that she was unable to use it while she was like that.” Bon-Bon explained, casting a glance back at the cave.

“That makes sense...” Berry said, putting a thoughtful hoof to her chin. “But what about her-him?” she asked, pointing a hoof at the mare on the ground. “Shouldn't we change him back? I mean, we can't just leave him like this!” Bon-Bon let out an internal sigh. Berry really was too kind for her own good.

“I'm not gonna stop you.” Bon-Bon said, turning around and heading to the cave, “Come on Lyra, let's see if we can get this thing working.”

The last thing she heard before the roar of magic filled the air was the POP of a bottle cap, and sounds of a very, very thirsty pony taking a very, very deep drink.

Author's Note

I'd like to take this time and point out that Bon-Bon did all of this with an eye-patch on.

I'd also like to point out that she insists that she is not, and never was, a commando.

Also: This, children, is why we never mix gin and-I mean-Posion Joke and Heart's Desire.

Seriously, don't do it. It's a really, really, really bad idea.

Chapter Two: Part Seventeen

Chapter Two: Part Seventeen

Colgate's eyes slowly focused as she came to once more. What hurt more was not so much the unbelievable headache she had, but the fact for some reason, the universe at large seem bound and determined to cause her as much cranial damage as was possible! She was getting rather tired of it. Not to mention the passing out at seemingly random moments. 'What', she wondered, 'have I done to deserve this?' She shook her head, and attempted to focus her magic. Despite a causing a mild headache (adding onto the one she already had), she was pleased to see light fill the room as her horn began to glow brightly. She let out a sigh of relief. At least that much was fine; at least she had her magic.

She yelped as a sudden surge of magic filled the room, and the floor near her began to glow brightly. Not being a foolish pony, she scrambled out of the way. She spun and assumed a defensive position as the magic began to fill the space and figures began to form. She grit her teeth and grabbed a barrel, ready to strike at a moment's notice. Then, all at once, the magic simply exploded, sending her and her barrel flying back.

It was at that moment when she decided that from this day forth, she would forever wear a helmet.

Fortunately for her, luck seemed to favor this time. Though she had been sent tumbling among many a tumbling barrel, she found herself unhurt, though under what seemed to be a pile of the blasted things. Also rather luckily, two barrels next to her remained standing, and now held all of the weight that would have otherwise been crushing down upon her. Before she could fully come to her senses after what had just happened, she could hear a voice.

“Bon-Bon, Berry, are you guys alright?!” a familiar, though panicked voice asked.

“I-I'm fine” coughed another.

That was Berry!

“Horseapples...” came a third.

“BERRY! HELP!” Colgate bellowed, her own voice a mix of panic, delight, and hysteria (though not too much hysteria. She wasn't going crazy after all). “I'M TRAPPED!”

“COLGATE?!” Three voices shouted out in unison.

“YES! I'M HERE! HELP!” she cried once more.

“W-WHERE IS SHE?!?” Berry's own voice cried. Colgate was taken aback by the sound of it. While she was only slightly hysterical herself, it seemed that Berry had fallen completely into it. Her voice had been not only shrill, but full of unbridled terror and fury. She suddenly heard barrels crashing and the protests of two ponies.

“B-BERRY! WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S IN THESE THI-” Bon-Bon's voice shouted over the furious crashing of barrels being tossed to the side.

“SHUT UP! HELP ME!” Berry shouted with such force that Colgate jumped slightly. In response, she suddenly heard the sounds of the 3 friends heaving and hurling the hapless wooden vessels as one. At least, that's what she assumed the sounds of frenzied barrel tossing meant. “HOLD ON COLGATE, WE'RE ALMOST THERE!”

Colgate's heart began beating faster and faster. On the one hoof, she was excited to be reunited with her friends. On the other hoof, Berry did sound pretty crazy. Suddenly, the barrels around her shifted, and light suddenly flooded the little space that was her prison.

Assuming that a trickle is equal to a flood.

“WE GOT Y-huh?” Berry shouted. “H-Hey! Where is she?”

Then it dawned on Colgate. They had removed the barrels just to her left, missing her little spot.

“Uh, guys? I'm right here, just a little to the right … er … left, I guess. Which way are you facing?” Colgate asked.

The last barrel blocking Colgate was removed with relative ease. And as the light hit her face, she saw the faces of her three friends. One of which had tears running down it.

“Colgate!” Berry cried.

“Ber-” Colgate also cri-

And then Berry gave her a mighty, mighty hug. She lifted her up off the ground, and Coglate found that her lungs suddenly could not work. Try as she might, she simply couldn't breath. It was about then that she had begun to lament the color of her coat, as her face begun turning blue from lack of oxygen.

“OhmygoshColgate!I'msohappythatyou'realright!I'vebeensoworriedaboutyou!I-I'vegotsomuchtotalkyouabout!ImeanI'vebeensoworriedandIreallywan-” Thankfully, it was right then that two things happened. One: Both Lyra and Bon-Bon pealed Berry off of Colgate, using a combination of magic and brute force (which, to their surprise, was what it took to get her off), and Two: Colgate passed out.

Thankfully, it was only for a moment. In fact, she recovered in time to catch her own head (with her magic) before it hit the ground. She thanked her lucky stars, righted herself, and got to her hooves. “Berry, it's good to see you too.” Colgate said, with a couple of tears in her eyes. Though, in all honesty, most of those tears were from lack of oxygen and hug-pains, rather then from the warm fuzzies filling her heart. She then looked at the two struggling to contain Berry, “It's good to see you guys too. Oh colt, we've been through an adventure, haven't we?”

“Heh, more like a misadventure if you ask me!” Lyra chimed.

“Lyra!” Bon-Bon chided her.

“What?” Lyra asked.

“It's too soon to call it that. Besides, we don't know yet if this truly is an unfortunate event.”

“That's for sure.” Berry said, now a bit calmer. “First we come across this crazy castle, then attacked by bandits, and now a rescue mission! By Celestia, we've been through a lot.” Berry sighed. “But at least we're in good shape now. Let's get that teleporter open and let's get out of here!”

Teleporter … teleporter … ZECORA! Where was she? Colgate's head shot from side to side, but she could see no sign of her zebra friend. “H-Hey! Where's Zecora?”

“Zecora?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, she was here just a moment ago! She said that the teleporter was a one-way, so she's gotta be around here somewhere!” Colgate exclaimed.

“Hold on a minute, did you just say that Zecora was here?” Lyra asked.

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Yeah I did, why?” Colgate asked, caught somewhat off-guard by the question.

“What is she doing here?” Bon-Bon asked.

“I'm not sure.” Colgate answered, “She said something about following us to get a sample of Berry's drink or something.”

“Wait, she followed us?”

“That's what she said.” Colgate shrugged.

“Are you sure about that?” Bon-Bon questioned.

“Well, that's what she said. She said that she followed us out of the Everfree and even hopped onto the train.”

“And followed you across the badlands?” Bon-Bon asked, clearly suspicious.

“Uh, I guess so. What are you getting at, Bon-Bon?”

“I just find it strange that she would do that, that's all.” Bon-Bon answered, “And you said she wanted Berry's drink? Why would she want that?”

“I don't know Bon-Bon! I'm not Zecora!” Colgate's patience was running surprisingly short.

“Alright, chill.” Lyra interjected, “We're on your side, remember?”

“Sorry.” Colgate flushed slightly. “It's just that I don't really understand what's going on. Well, I kinda get what's happened, I just don't understand why.” She let out a breath. “Well, she said something about being curious about it. She hoped to take some home for testing, I think.”

“Testing...” Bon-Bon crossed her front legs, and rested her chin on one of her front hooves. “Did she happen to mention anything else about it?”

“Not that I can recall.” Colgate said, shaking her head.

“I see...” Bon-Bon replied, frowning in thought.

“So, where'd she go? I don't see anypony else here.” Lyra said, glancing about the chamber.

“Is there a way out?” Berry asked.

“Well, there are some steps that lead out of here.” Colgate answered, “Perhaps she went that way.”

“Steps?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. There's a set of steps that head up to a den where a dragon's sleeping.” Colgate pointed to said steps, but the path that was once there was now gone. It seemed that whatever happened when they teleported in, knocked the barrels in the chamber every which direction. Her jaw dropped a bit. Not only was the path gone, but dozens of the barrels had burst open, and the entire chamber was filled with scrolls. Some had unrolled, others had broken in half, and others had been torn to shreds. Her eyes shot to over where the desk had been, and saw, to her horror, that it too had been destroyed. Remains of it littered the ground, and the papers it held had not been spared.

“Wait, did you say dra-”

“Hey, what's up Colgate?” Berry asked, unintentionally interrupting Lyra.

“T-The room … what happened?!” She replied, a bit in shock. How was she going to give these lists to the authorites if they had been destroyed? Even worse, what about the desk? She just knew that at least somepony in Equestria could read them, and hopefully figure out what exactly had been done to all of these poor ponies, and hopefully figure out how to reverse it … if it was possible. She shook her head of such thoughts.

“What? Something's up with the room?” Lyra asked, also looking around.

Bon-Bon said a soft 'hum' to herself. “I suddenly get the feeling that this room wasn't always like this, judging from your expression. And the fact that you claim that there are stairs in that direction,” Bon-Bon pointed said direction, “and all we can see is smashed and disorganized barrels, tells me that explosion did all of this.”

There was a collective 'Ya think?' feeling in the air, but fortunately, all of the ponies in the room were classy enough to avoid saying as such.

“Yeah … I was wondering about that.” Lyra said, putting a hoof to her chin.

“About what?” Berry asked.

“Teleportation magic isn't supposed to involve an explosion.” Bon-Bon said as she looked to the ground, as if to investigate something.

“Yeah. It was really weird. Like, I could feel my magic working fine, then, all at once, it was like I used way too much. Kinda like … um … pouring a drink I guess.” Lyra's gaze went from Berry, to Bon-Bon, then to the floor.

“Oh! Like when someone tips the bottle!” Berry smiled.

“Yeah...” Lyra said somewhat distantly.

“Lyra,” Bon-Bon began as she stepped away from the spot they appeared on, “is the spell still here? I'm not seeing any markings or anything like that.”

“Yeah … I see what you mean. Hey, Colgate.” Lyra looked up at her. “What do you think?”

“Uh...” She looked from side to side.

“Well? I mean, you're a unicorn, right? So, what do you think? Can you feel or sense anything?” Lyra said, a little confused at Colgate's somewhat evasive manner.

“I, uh...”

“Yes?”

“Well, um...”

“Yesss?”

“I … never made it to advanced magics...” Colgate admitted. It was true. She was an average unicorn, and showed no more talent for magic then any other. Sure she could do the basics, like levitation, and basic object manipulation, but she really only learned one or two more advanced spells. And those were directly related to her career.

“Uh huh...” Lyra nodded, clearly not quite understanding. “And that means...?”

Colgate swallowed. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but she had tried for the class, but had not been accepted. “It means … that I know nothing about teleportaion magic.”

“Uh huh. They didn't teach you about it in Magic Kindergarten? Or even when you were at Canterlot University?” Lyra raised her eyebrow.

“Well … they did, but I, uh … wasn't paying attention...” Colgate admitted, blushing as she did so. During those times her head had been amongst the stars. When she was in Magic Kindergarten, she would often think about the constellations and the movements of the various lights in the sky. In all honesty, the only spells she really learned were those that they were forced to practice. This lead to her needing to take Magic 101 when she began her studies at Canterlot. And while she passed the class with little difficulty, she had decided that by that time that she had neither time nor patience for academia that did not pertain to her major. And since most of Magic 101 was theory, she often let her thoughts drift to her other classes.

“What?! Why?” Lyra asked, clearly confused. She was not the only one.

“It's a long story, but to keep it short, I didn't really see a need for it. I mean, I learned the basics in Magic Kindergarten, and then I was busy with more important things by the time I took 101.” Colgate said with a shrug.

“B-But I thought all unicorns knew about that kind of stuff!” Berry said.

“Only ones with a fancy, expensive, formal education.” Lyra said with a none-too-pleasant glare.

“Wait, what?” Colgate was very surprised by this sudden, nasty turn in Lyra's demeanor.

“Lyra...” Bon-Bon said, placing a hoof on Lyra's shoulder.

She closed her eyes, and let out a breath. “Sorry. It's just that...”

“Lyra grew up very poor.” Bon-Bon finished.

“Well, not super poor, but not enough to afford any sort of formal education, ya know? Like, my dad and I, we would take walks around Canterlot, ya know? And I remember seeing all of these rich fillies and colts running around with their fancy books. And like, I remember one time I tried talking to one of them, ya know? Yeah … that didn't end well.” Lyra let out a sad sigh.

“The colt in question teased her about the fact that she didn't know any real magic.” Bon-Bon explained.

“I-I'm so sorry Lyra. I had no idea.” Colgate said, hoof raised to her mouth.

“Well, it happened a long time ago. And it's not your fault.” Lyra smiled at her. “So don't feel bad about it.”

“There was one good thing that came of it.” Bon-Bon added.

“Yeah. It gave me a reason to hit the books!” Lyra's smile grew a little brighter.

“Well, what about your parents? Didn't they teach you magic?” Berry asked.

“I've never known my real parents. And my adopted dad was an Earth pony. So it's not like he could do much other teach me how to read.”

Colgate was horrified, “You've never known your real parents? Lyra, that's terr-”

“Not a big deal, trust me. My dad was worth hundreds of unicorn parents. He was about the best father a pony could ask for. Seriously. Like, he...” Lyra trailed off. A distant look filled her eyes, and Colgate could see tears beginning to form. Lyra shook her head. “Anyway. So, like, he fed us alright, and we lived in an alright place, right? But he couldn't afford to send me to school. So, after that colt made fun of me, I began collecting the old school books from the kids who got an education. I read 'em all. I just kept reading and reading and reading.” She let out a chuckle, “I remember my dad coming home late sometimes from work, and he would ask me what bedtime story I wanted to hear, and I would say something like, 'I wanna read the one about floating things!' and he would be like, 'But you just finished reading it, it's right over there.' and I would be like, 'it has hard words, so can you read it with me again?' And then he would just laugh, get in my bed, curl next to me, and read it to me until I fell asleep.” she smiled. “He did that for a long time. Funny thing was, he didn't understand half of those 'hard words' himself. But that didn't stop him from tryin' to help me learn. Stallion … I miss the guy.” she gave a slight shake of her head, her smile growing all the while.

“Wait, your dad is dead?” Berry's eyes had gotten suddenly large.

“What? No! Not at all. He's fine. A little old, sure, but he's doing just fine.”

“Oh, but you said...”

“He lives in another part of Equestria, Berry. I don't get to see him much these days, and neither of us write much.”

“You could always pay him a visit.” Bon-Bon suggested.

Lyra nodded. “Yeah, I thinking I would after this was all over. So, anyway, sorry about that Colgate. It's just that, I kinda figured that since you'd gotten and education, you'd know this kinda stuff.”

“I-I didn't know that there were unicorns who never got to go to school.” Colgate replied.

“Yeah. But it's fine. It's all old news now anyway.” Lyra made a dismissive gesture with her hoof.

“So, what about higher education? You never even went to university?” Colgate asked, still a bit surprised by this sudden revelation.

“Nope. Never went.”

“Then how did you know how to use that teleporter?” Berry asked.

“Oh, that? Well, One: It's actually pretty easy. Well, that teleporter was pretty easy. I'm pretty sure they rigged it so that even an Earth Pony or Pegasus Pony could activate it, not to mention a unicorn. So, it wasn't hard or anything. And Two: I just bought the old textbooks off the unicorns going to the University.” Lyra shrugged.

“Oh. That makes sense. So, why did it explode?” Berry asked.

“Gold Powder.” Bon-Bon said, scraping the floor with a hoof. She then brought it to her nose, and she gave it a small sniff. “Yep. Gold Powder alright.”

“Are you sure Bon-Bon? That stuff's pretty rare.” Lyra asked.

“Wait, what is it, and how do you two know about it?” Colgate asked.

“Well,” Lyra began, “it's kinda a way for non-ponies to use Equestrian magic.”

“The subject usually applies it to a surface, allowing them to manipulate it as if they were a unicorn for a short time. So, if say the user wanted to lift a broom, they would sprinkle a small amount of the powder on it. If they needed to use something like this teleporter, then they would cover the area with it.” Bon-Bon said matter-of-factly. “However...”

“If it comes in contact with a unicorn's magic...” Lyra's eyes got large as a thought seemed to dawn on her.

“It causes the unicorn to loose control of their magic.” Bon-Bon finished.

“So, wait, you're telling me that's what happened? Somepony put some magic dust on the ground and that's what made the spell explode?” Berry said with an eyebrow raised. “Who would do that, and why?”

There was a long pause.

“Colgate,” Bon-Bon began, “I hate to say it, but I think Zecora did this.”

“What?! No way! She'd never do anything like that!” Colgate objected.

“Why would you say something like that?!” Berry also found the idea absurd.

“Because the spell is gone. Completely.” Lyra said, looking to the ground. “I actually think that it was a two-day, and I could see somepony like her using something like Golden Powder to get in and out.”

“Well, perhaps she made a mistake? I mean, she's not a unicorn, right? So maybe she didn't realize it was a two-way!” Colgate simply couldn't fathom the idea that somepony like Zecora would something like this, at least, on purpose.

“That's possible, but the fact that she used the powder to leave tells me that she wanted us to be trapped here.” Bon-Bon said, glancing towards the recently covered passage way.

“Maybe she didn't realize she wouldn't need the powder?” Berry ventured.

“I doubt it. This is Zecora we're talking about here.” Lyra said.

“Well, maybe she didn't leave! I mean, I passed out, perhaps somepony else came through and threw it down behind themselves, or perhaps she got captured or something and whoever caught her used it.” Colgate ventured.

“Well, it's possible somepony else coulda come through, but if somepony already here had done it, don't you think they woulda taken you too?” Lyra commented.

“I-I suppose so...”

“Well, the fact is that we're now trapped, correct?” Bon-Bon asked, looking to Lyra, who then nodded. “So, that means we have one choice. We find this exit Colgate was taking about and see if we can get out of here, wherever 'here' is.”

“Oh, that's easy!” Colgate smiled.

“It is?” Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, we're at Deadmare. At least, that's what Zecora told me.” Colgate said with a bit of new-found doubt.

Bon-Bon gave a small 'hum'. Then, looking once more to the exit, said, “I see. Well, let's hope Zecora is the honest zebra you think she is...”

Author's Note

Personally, I find all of the talky-talky bits boring. But hey, that's life, right?

Also: Lyra's dad never let her practice magic in the house. Rather, he would take her to the park all the time to practice. He forbade it not out of malice or fear, but out of practicality. You see, after the great "mishap", he discovered that it was unwise to let little Lyra use unmastered magics in the home.

They never did get that portal closed...

Chapter Two: Part Eighteen

Chapter Two: Part Eighteen

Bon-Bon was a simple mare. Indeed, there was a time when her life was uncomplicated and fairly simple. It was a fine time, and a time in which she could go about her day with nary a care. She woke up in the morning, smelled her flowers, and basked in the warm sunlight as it came through her window. She was happy, healthy, and lived a care-free life. Indeed, just like her cutie mark, she, and her life, were as sweet as could be. Three lovely candy-canes, and a lovely shop to sell the very same sweets in. It was a good life.

But that's old news now. That was before … she met Lyra, though that was only the capstone of everything. But this story is not about her. Rather, this story is about a little blue mare, and her simple quest for a simple, yet magical, toothbrush. In speaking of which...

Zecora? No, it wasn't possible! They were jumping to conclusions. She was such a sweet Zebra. She always gave sugar-free candy (the good kind even!) to the little ones in Ponyville, and always took good care of her teeth. More then that, she had taught Colgate many useful techniques and remedies for her practice. In addition, she made for fine conversation; given that one could understand her way of speaking. So the idea that she would trap the lot of them into a place as dangerous as this was simply unthinkable!

It was unthinkable … right?

“You alright Colgate?” Lyra asked.

“Huh?” Colgate blinked a few times and suddenly realized that she had been holding the same barrel for nearly 5 minutes.

“You're kinda spacin' there girl.” Lyra said as she tossed another barrel behind her.

“I, uh, guess I was. Sorry, I was just thinking.” she said, blushing ever so slightly.

“A-” Berry grunted as she lifted another barrel, “-bout what?”

“Zecora,” she let out a sigh, “really. Right before you guys showed up, she and I had talked about what had happened since the Everfree. In speaking of which, was I really passed out for that long? I mean, I don't remember anything about a train ride.” She lifted another barrel and tossed it to the side.

“Pretty much.” Lyra shrugged. “The morning after the whole castle thing, all of us woke up but you. So Bon-Bon,” Lyra pointed a hoof to her for a moment, “pitched the idea to put you on a litter, then head to Dodge until you woke up. She figured you'd know where we needed to go from there. You do know where we need to go, right?” she asked, looking at Colgate and raising an eyebrow.

Memories of that night suddenly began flashing through her mind. How long ago had it been? She had lost all sense of time since coming here, but her gut told her it had only been a couple of days. As her mind drifted through the events, she stopped it on the moment when they had spoken to Pinkie Pie. She said she had become a … Goddess? Colgate shook her head. What an absurd thought! That aside, she recalled that Pinkie Pie had said that she would grant Colgate one wish.

“Didn't,” another loud grunt from Berry, “Pinkie Pie give you a map or something?” she asked as she heaved another of the wooden containers out of the way. They were making slow progress toward the stair-case, but at least they were making progress.

“Oh yeah!” Colgate had completely forgotten about that. Now then, where did she... “Say, did anypony see where I put it?” she asked, reflexively looking around the chamber.

“I was unaware you had a map on you.” Bon-Bon said, tossing another barrel aside.

“I did, I had when we left...” suddenly, her mind flashed back. She and Berry had just turned to leave the crater, aaaaaaaand then she suddenly remembered feeling the map slide right off her back.

“AAAHHH!!!” She suddenly cried, “I LEFT IT BACK AT THE EVERFREE!”

Everpony paused, and looked at her.

“Wait, what?” Berry asked.

“When you and I left the crater, I felt it slide off my back!” Colgate exclaimed, her eyes wide and mildly panicked.

“WHAAAAT?!” Both Berry and Bon-Bon cried.

“So, hold on, you're saying that you just left it that giant crater? Why didn't you just grab it?” Lyra asked.

“I-uh … don't … know...” Colgate blushed a deep red.

Suddenly, the air was filled with the sounds of hooves hitting faces, as Colgate scuffed the ground under her left hoof in shame.

“So, you have no idea where we need to go? None at all?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I, uh, know that we need to head to Hayseed Swamp!” She said, rather feebly.

“Colgate,” Bon-Bon set the barrel she was holding down, “Do you have any idea just how big Hayseed is?”

“Well … uh … is it bigger then the Everfree?”

“Colgate,” Lyra said, “it goes off the map. That place is HUGE!”

“Hey! Give me some slack here! I mean, we just saw Zecora fight a giant Pinkie Pie, and then she turned into some kind of, whatever that was, and then she gave us a wish or something! On top of all that, I hadn't gotten any sleep that whole night! So it's not like I could keep track of everything!” Colgate said rather defensively.

“Sorry if I sound like I'm being a jerk, but loosing that map's kinda big deal Colgate.” Lyra said. “I mean, how're we going to know where we're going?”

“Agreed.” Bon-Bon agreed.

Colgate was crestfallen. They had a point.

“Hey, wait a minute.” Berry piped up, “Didn't Pinkie say something like 'it'll just stay with you', or something like that?”

“Hey, wait a minute. You're right!” Colgate smiled.

“So, were is it?” Lyra asked, looking around.

“Er...” Colgate had no idea. She had no saddle bags like Bon-Bon did. And it's not like she'd been carrying it around with her.

“Perhaps it's like Berry's bottle?”

Colgate's eyes snapped to Bon-Bon, “Wait, wha-”

“Oh yeah! That might work! Try it Colgate!” Lyra said.

“Hold on, what are you guys talking about? What bottle?” Colgate had a bad feeling building up inside her. She looked between the two, then her eyes drifted over to Berry, who shrunk away from her gaze. “Berry...?” Colgate asked softly.

“Colgate … I,” Berry said, then closed her eyes and turned away, “I'm sorry! I broke my promise!”

“What?” Colgate said, a bit stunned and confused.

“I'm sorry to interrupt, but now is not the time or place for this discussion.” Bon-Bon said as she walked between the two of them. “Right now, we have to focus on the matter on hoof. First: We've got to get out of this room, and then deal with the dragon you mentioned. Next: we need to get out of Deadmare, assuming that's where we are. Then we can worry about the map. Sound good?” Bon-Bon glanced around to see if anypony objected. Colgate did, but kept silent because she had made a good point.

“R-Right,” Lyra broke the awkward silence, “So, back to removing barrels?”

Bon-Bon paused, glancing between Colgate and Berry, the latter still refusing to make eye contact with anypony. Then, with some hesitancy, said, “Yes … back to removing barrels.” Colgate watched as she slowly turned, keeping an eye on Berry, as if to expect something to suddenly happen. Seeing nothing however, she then picked up the barrel she had set down, and tossed it aside. Colgate however did not stop looking at Berry. What had that been about? What promise was she talking about? Colgate tried her best to recall whatever it was she could be talking about. Her face scrunched in concentration as she tried her best to remember. Did it have something to do with that bottle they mentioned? Berry simply sat there, looking down, saying nothing. Colgate watched as she slowly got to her hooves, cast a quick glance at Colgate, looked away, then began removing barrels once more (at a rather sluggish pace, though with less slime). Berry felt awful about something, but what? She saw shame in those eyes. What coul-then an idea hit her. Did Berry get wasted again?

“Berry,” Colgate said both softly and inquisitively, “Did-” she paused, and took a breath to gather her courage, “did you get drunk again?” Bon-Bon shot a look at her, a look that told her to stop this line of questioning. Berry looked meekly up at Colgate, then back at Bon-Bon, then back to her barrel. “Berry?” Colgate asked softly.

Bon-Bon looked at her again. “Colgate, we don't have time for this right now. We nee-”

“Like horsesticks we don't have time!” Colgate suddenly said, “I don't know who put you in charge Bon-Bon, but Berry's my friend, and it's pretty clear that something is bothering her. You can keep digging if you want, but I'm going to talk to her whether or not you like it!” Colgate stomped a hoof on the ground. She had to. She could hear her voice doing that squeaky thing again. In fact, if she hadn't, she could tell from Bon-Bon's expression that she would have most likely burst out laughing (though that didn't stop Lyra from flying into a giggling fit). Rather, Bon-Bon looked at her with an expression that was one part amused mirth, one part surprise, one part annoyance, and two parts indignation. Or, in short, 'u wut m8?' Her mouth opened and closed a few times silently. Colgate took her eyes off of Bon-Bon, and looked back to Berry, “What happened Berry?” she asked kindly asked.

Berry opened her mouth, “Excuse me Colgate!” Bon-Bon interjected, turning sharply to look at her, “But I don't know if Zecora told you this, but we just so happen to-”

“EXCUSE ME BON-BON. I AM TALKING TO BERRY, NOT YOU!” Colgate shouted. This surprised her. For some reason, it seemed that Bon-Bon had hit a nerve of some kind. For some reason, every word that Bon-Bon said only served to make her more angry. Indeed, if it had not been for that terrible curse that Colgate seemed to suffer from, her shouts would have been fierce indeed! As it was however, her voice lacked the punch that she wanted.

“Colgate!” Bon-Bon shot back. Lyra stopped her giggling at once, and actually took a step back from Bon-Bon. Unbeknownst to Colgate's furious mind, Bon-Bon had said that with enough force to make even a dragon pause (little also did she know that at one point it had). As it was, Colgate was unaffected by it. “We. Don't. Have. Time.” she looked at Colgate with such an intense glare, that it almost penetrated Colgate's haze of fury.

Almost.

“YES! WE! DO! NOW IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND MISS BOSSY PONY, I HAVE A FRIEND TO CONSOLE, AND THERE IS NOTHING, AND I MEAN NOTHING, YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME. AM PERFECTLY CLEAR?” The immense inferno burning inside of Colgate was betrayed by the sound of her voice. Still, she had her ability to glare menacingly, so that helped. She had trained many years to perfect that glare, for she needed it to silence the occasional patient who simply didn't want to cooperate.

Bon-Bon's eye twitched. It was clear she was not used to being spoken that way. Or, at least, she certainty didn't like it.

“H-Hey, Colgate, chill out a little, will ya?” Lyra pleaded. “Look, it's not like Bon-Bon was tryin' to tell ya what to do or anything like that. I mean, she's just tryin' to help, ya know? So, I mean, let's all relax, alright?” Lyra had a hoof in the air in a 'let's all just calm down' gesture. Colgate shot her a glare. “Alright, shutting up!!” Lyra said.

Colgate and Bon-Bon locked eyes once more. Both looked at each other with the same, 'Say something, I dare you' look. The air was thick with the energy of their gazes. Colgate's was burning like the sun itself, and Bon-Bon's was as cold as the clutching clutches of a clutching cold clucherer...*ahem*

“Doctor Colgate.” Bon-Bon finally said, “I will not be spoken to like that, and I especially will not be spoken to like that by a pony who we have worked so hard to save and to help.” Bon-Bon's voice was dangerously level. “Not only that, but we have a heated battle on our hooves. If we don't move quickly, we may find ourselves in the middle of a conflict that we do not want to be part of.”

“Oh really? And how is that going to happen, hum? Is it going to pop through the teleporter? The one that you said was broken? Or is it going to cover a day's full travel in the time it takes for me to talk to Berry?” Colgate shot back.

Bon-Bon's eye twitched once more (it is worth pointing out that it was Bon-Bon's good eye that had been doing all of the twitching, as something had popped in the other so as to make twitching it a temporary impossibility). “No, but it is possible that it could take us that long to get out of here. We have no idea where we are and we have no time to waste on another one of Berry's breakdow-”

“SHUT UP!” Colgate screamed. “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TREAT BERRY THAT WAY!” she roared.

“AND WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE IN TREATING ME LIKE THIS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH FOR YOUR SAKE?!” Bon-Bon hollered back.

“THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TREAT MY FRIEND LIKE THAT!” Colgate took a hard step forward, breaking a bit of wood under her hoof.

“HOW DARE YOU!” Bon-Bon snarled, then bent her legs into what looked like a pouncing position, looking very much like a cream-colored preditor.

“DON'T YOU THREATEN ME!” Colgate snarled back. Well, okay, both of them more growled then snarled, but it was menacing all the same.

They both stood there, glaring at each other, their limbs trembling with fury. To an onlooker, they could almost swear that they could see literal storm clouds building in the air.

But yet, nopony moved a muscle. That is, until something finally broke.

A loud crash came from behind them, and both Bon-Bon and Colgate, acting out of reflex, grabbed several barrels and threw them with all of the fiery hatred and power that Tartarus had power to posses directly at the sound. They also screamed bloody murder while doing so.

One had to pity the source of the noise, for it wasn't just one barrage of barrels. No, at this point, their anger had finally exploded, and wave after wave of barrels came flying at the source. Indeed, the ponies had no idea what they were even assaulting for the blur of barrels and wood and dust and scrolls blocked their view. Finally, after several moments of this, the two stopped.

Breathing heavily, they looked to each other, and back at the now dust and plank covered mess they made. Colgate focused, and cast a simple spell that generated a small breeze to clear the dust (it more spread it around the room versus actually cleaning the air, but it did improve visibility). Lying there, on the ground, was one very unconscious zebra.

“ZECORA?!” came the surprised cries of four very confused ponies.

“...he teleporter was broken?” asked a voice in the distance.

“I-I thought so. I mean, I didn't sense any magic left!” came another voice.

“Hum … let's wait until she comes around before jumping to any conclusions.” spoke a third. She could sense a sudden surge of hostility towards the speaker.

“How's she doing?” came a fourth.

“Well, I think my spell's working. Though I'm not sure. I've never used it on her before. I mean, near as I can tell, Zebras are a lot like ponies.” came the first. It sounded familiar.

“I see. Well, let us hope she wakes up soon.” the third said. That one too was somewhat familiar, but for what reason she couldn't quite pin down.

“Y-yeah. We kinda owe her an apology.” the second said.

“We? Let me remind you that it was Colgate here who decided that having a chat was more important then running from an army on our hooves.” the third said, its voice failing to hide the contempt it held.

“EXCUSE ME?” the first spoke, and suddenly she felt a surge of magic in the air. She had not realized it at first, but the speaker had been using a healing spell on her. With the sudden surge, she came to realize that all too well, as suddenly felt her whole body go numb for a moment.

“C-COLGATE!” the forth shouted with a bit of panic.

“Oops! Sorry Zecora!” the fir-Colgate said. That explained why she knew that voice. It was Colgate, the dentist from Ponyville. The pony who's magic felt older then almost anything she had ever encountered. The very same dentist who she knew was going to-

“Focus on your spell!” came the third again. She had to agree. The sensation of her body going numb was not one she cared to experience again.

“Listen, Bon-Bon, like I said, I don't know who voted you in charge here, but get off my back, ok?” Colgate shot back, causing a mild surge in the spell once more (this time it was her front hooves that went numb for a moment). Yes … Bon-Bon. She knew that pony, though mostly in passing. She and one other were often seen in compony with each other. The one one known for her musical abilities, as well as other interests.

“Hey, guys,” the musical one spoke up, “look, let's not get hung up on who's in charge, alright? Like, look, we're all stuck, and we all need to get out of here, right?” She smiled to herself. While she had the strength to open her eyes, she felt that she should not, for she felt it would be for the best if she didn't interfere, and let this run its course.

“Colgate,” she remembered that voice now. It belonged to Berry Punch. A mare known for her trade, and her drunkenness. Now that she thought on it, it dawned on her that this was the first time she'd actually heard her speak fully sober. She shook her mental head. How unstable her poor mind must be! Not to mention how hard her life must be. She knew of one back home who was like her, and how their love of drink had ruined their own life. “I-I'm sorry. Look, let's talk about this later? I-I'm sorry I worried you so much, but I'm alright, so let's let bygones be bygones, okay? Please?” Berry softly pleaded.

She heard Colgate let out an angry snort, “Fine, but only if she apologizes!”

“If I'm not mistaken, it is you who owes me an apology.” Bon-Bon retorted.

“Unbridled you have let your anger flow, to obtain harmony and peace, you must learn to let it go.” Zecora said, popping her eyes open. It had become clear to her that this was not heading in a good direction.

“Z-ZECORA!” Colgate shouted, the spell suddenly surging once more.

“If you continue to fight and bicker, your hearts will only become more bitter. To nullify this griffin threat, you will have to learn to forgive, and forget.” She would have said. Sadly, it was her tongue that had gone numb this time, so it came out more like: “Lulaaa lal la lala bubbubla la bub bub blah blah blah...”

“Huh?” Colgate raised an eyebrow.

“Colgate, your spell!” Lyra cried, pointing at Zecora.

“OH! Sorry Zecora.” Colgate blushed slightly.

Feeling returned once more to her tongue, and she attempted to stand, but felt that her legs were not quite ready for that yet. She had taken quite a beating when she had popped back in. She was a tough Zebra, what with living in the Everfree for as long as she had. Not to mention the rituals that she had the privilege of undergoing as a foal. Everything from having an elephant walk on her to wrestling with crocodiles, to wrestling crocodiles while being stood upon by an elephant. And that was before she left the crib. After that the rituals became even more intense.

Even with all of that however, being barraged by countless fury propelled barrels was a bit beyond her tough hide. Not to mention they had taken her by complete and total surprise. Here she was, simply doing what she had to do to make sure that what was supposed to happen, happened. It just so happened that entailed coming back through the teleporter to ensure that the little group had gotten on their way. So, she was mighty surprised indeed to discover that they had not, and instead were busy throwing barrels at any passerby who just might pop on in. Sadly for her, she was the first of said passerby.

With tongue now working, she repeated what she had said: “If you continue to fight and bicker, your hearts will only become more bitter. To nullify this griffin threat, you will have to learn to forgive, and forget.” It seemed that Colgate's spell was doing more then healing her poor broken and bruised body (okay, it wasn't REALLY broken, just kinda sore, in all of the worse places, like her hooves. Seriously, have YOU ever had sore hooves? It hurts, let me-*ahem*-anyway), but it was also removing the lingering traces the drink had on her. It was no longer hard for her to speak normally, and she was hopeful that talking in the strange way Equestrians did would no longer hurt.

“What do you mean?” Colgate asked.

“What I mean little mare of such great talent, is that you and the others must make forgiveness a habit. As your friend said so well, upon mistakes one should never dwell. If you allow anger your heart to take, then your friendships, and your hopes, it will break.”

“I don't get it...” Berry said, raising an eyebrow.

“I'm not too sure either.” Lyra admitted.

Bon-Bon adopted a contemplative look. This did not surprise Zecora. She knew that most ponies had a hard time understanding her, but she could tell that Bon-Bon had little trouble.

Colgate however, was not particularly happy to hear those words. “Sure, that's all nice and good, but Bon-Bon here-”

“Has not a chance to explain her great hurry. I have a feeling that if she did, then it might help quell your fury.” Zecora said with a smile. Given the fact that the battle was not far from the pit stop, and closing, she figured that if Colgate had understood the situation she was in, they would have already been past the dragon's lair by now. That said, what was it that was that held them up? “In fact, if you are all willing, that proper explanations with mend many a hurt feeling. Though you have little time to waste, for the battle you fled is coming with great haste.”

“She does have a point.” Bon-Bon said.

“Huh?” Lyra asked.

“In short, she said that we should explain ourselves rather then yell at each other. But,” Colgate turned to look at Zecora, “What do you mean when you say 'the battle you fled'?”

“She means that this area will soon become a war zone.” Bon-Bon said, still thinking. Then, lowering her hoof to the ground, she looked at Colgate. “She's right. I owe you an apology and an explanation. We don't have much time, so I'll be brief. So, first, I'm sorry. I don't have much patience when it comes to other ponies, and I'm afraid it makes me hard to deal with sometimes...”

“You an't kiddin'!” Lyra said with a large smile.

“Anyway,” Bon-Bon coughed, “I'm sorry I got short with you. On our way here, Berry had a breakdown, and I was afraid that if she and you talked, she would have another one, and we would be stuck here when the battle reached this area.” though she concealed it with expertise, Zecora could see right through it. Bon-Bon was a bit ashamed by her reactions.

“What battle?” Colgate asked, a little confused.

“Yes, I'll give you the full details later, but right now, we have a friendly army battling hostile monsters on its way here. It will not be long, I would guess, before they arrive through what I'm now assuming is a working teleporter, correct?” she asked, looking at Zecora.

Zecora nodded.

“I see.” Bon-Bon let out a sigh.

“So, why don't we just hop through the teleporter and book it before the battle arrives?” Lyra asked.

“That seems a lot safer then heading into a dragon's lair! Not to mention this Deadmare Gully you guys keep talking about.” Berry said, a hint of a question in her voice.

“I mean, we could easily outrun it, even with the four of you on me.” Lyra continued.

“You know, that does seem like a good idea.” Colgate said.

Suddenly, Zecora filled with panic. She had come here to ensure that this very event would not happen. Indeed, she had gotten involved in this whole thing to begin with to ensure that events would take their proper course (well, that and a bit of petty vengeance [and to aquire a sample of the brew for testing {no, really, it was for purely academic reasons!}]. Okay, sure, she normally wasn't one for such things, but no pony is perfect all of the time, right?). And now, it seemed, that she had caused the very opposite of what she had meant to do! Her mother had always warned her against meddling with fate, now it seemed that she was right (she's always right...). What could she do? What could she say?!

“A wise idea this not to follow for this very reason: You would never be able to leave this region.” Zecora pointed out. “I assure here in this gully the griffin still resides, and leaving it here will only cause terrible trouble to arrive. If you flee, by its fury you will followed. So face it you must, lest by its wrath you are swallowed! And I would ask you this, my would-be falcon: Can you out-run a rampaging dragon?”

“By Celestia's sun! I completely forgot about that!” Lyra cried.

“Yes, presuming that the griffin is in charge, it could simply send a dragon after us, couldn't it?” Bon-Bon said.

“Wait, a dragon? Are you saying that there are MORE dragons here?” Colgate said, panic rising in her voice. It was clear that she was beginning to 'freak out' (as some Equestrians would put it), for Zecora could begin to feel some of her body numbing again.

“There are supposedly six if I recall correctly.” Bon-Bon said as though simply stating a fact.

“S-six … dragons...” Colgate's eyes began to drift away, and Zecora could feel the spell healing her body waning in power. She had not realized just how effective of a pain blocker it was until just that moment. “You've got to be kidding me...” she slowly came back as she looked to the sky (technically the ceiling, but that's beside the point) “All I wanted to do was get a simple, magical, powerful artifact that's a toothbrush, and here we are, trapped in a cave with a battle behind us, and a gully full of insane griffins and dragons and who knows what else in front of us! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!” She cried to the heavens, shaking her front hooves in exasperation.

“It's only one griffin that we know about.” Bon-Bon pointed out.

“THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!” Colgate cried.

“You know Colgate,” Berry began, “That reminds me. Why didn't you just wish for the Toothbrush? I mean, I was about to, but then you stopped me and wanted to know where it was instead. Why?” Berry raised an eyebrow.

Colgate snapped her head to Berry with wide eyes, then blushed a deep red and looked to the ground. “I-I...” she shuffled a hoof, “It was because I wanted to spend more time with you guys...”

“Wait, come again?” Bon-Bon said.

“Well, I mean, sure the castle was terrifying, but it was also kinda … well … fun. I mean, I really liked having you guys around, and I've always kinda wanted to go on an adventure, ya know? I mean, being a dentist is fine and all, but when you keep hearing about all of these amazing adventures other ponies seem to keep having, and then one almost falls into your hooves, how can you say no?” She asked, her embarrassment turning into excitement. “And not only that, it happened with you guys! I mean, sure, it was really scary, but I really loved it that we got through it together, ya know? Like, besides Berry, I don't have too many real friends, you know? And the fact that you guys came along, well...” Colgate seemed to struggle to speak, “I mean, I didn't know that you guys cared that much, you know? I mean, to be honest, I'm kinda a lonely pony. All of my family lives all over Equestria! I've got family in Vanhoover, Balitmare, even Canterlot! But nopony in Ponyville. And Berry, well, I mean, sure, I like everypony in town, right? We're all pretty much friendly to each other. But Berry here is pretty much my only real friend in town. She's almost like family to me. So,” she then looked to the ground again, “that's why I freak out so much about her. I-I didn't mean to be so mean Bon-Bon. It's just that … well … Berry's pretty much all I've got...”

A heavy silence filled the room. Even Zecora was taken aback by this sudden revelation. As she thought upon it, she realized that she too had few ponies in Ponyville to call friends. Many a pony was friendly to her, and Twilight and her friends were even better, but few were real friends.

“I see...” Bon-Bon said heavily. “I didn't realize you felt that way. I had always thought that … well … I don't know what I thought.”

Colgate took a deep breath. “I know, and I'm sorry. I don't mean to get so upset, but it's just that-”

“We understand Colgate.” Lyra said, “Berry's important to you. Heck, I'd probably do the same thing if it was Bon-Bon.”

“Indeed, and I would most likely do the same if it was Lyra.” Bon-Bon offered, the two glancing at each other and smiling.

Berry, however, was awestruck. “Colgate...” she said, almost on the verge of tears, “I didn't know you felt that way.... Like, I know you said that you cared, but I had no idea that it ran that deep. I-I...”

“It's okay Berry. Let's talk about this later, okay?” Colgate smiled at her.

Berry smiled back. “Alright.”

“Now that things are right once more, I think it is time you find that door.” Zecora suggested.

“I think she is right, we should get moving. Is that alright with everypony?” Bon-Bon asked, glancing around. Nothing but nods greeted her inquiry. “So, what should we do? I think Zecora's right, and that trying to flee would end poorly for us.”

“So we just try and barge on through the gully?” Colgate asked.

“Unless anypony else has a better idea, it seems that might be the best one. At least if we move quickly, we might be able to get to the griffin, if it is indeed here, and catch it by surprise.” Bon-Bon explained.

“Get to the griffin? Why? What do we do then?” Colgate asked, a bit nervously.

Bon-Bon simply shrugged, “We neutralize the threat.”

Author's Note

First: Yes, I am aware that Bon-Bon's cutie mark is not three candy canes. And no, that was not a mistake or typo. It was very much intentional. And so was my use of the word 'was'.

Second: if I have to type the word 'barrel' one more freaking time, I swear I'm going to throw a bar-AAARRGGGG!!

And Third: Once again, Bon-Bon reaffirms that she is not, and never has been, a commando.

Chapter Two: Part Nineteen

Chapter Two: Part Nineteen

Colgate sneezed. It was a rather adorable affair really, though that fact was lost on her companions. You see, it was yet another sneeze in a long chain of them. The first one drew a smile from Zecora, a chuckle from Lyra, and a bemused head shake from Bon-Bon. The second drew snickers from everypony save Berry (who had grown an immunity to Colgate's rather adorable sneezes over the years). The third finally provoked laughter, which did much to lighten the mood. After that however, it became old news. To be more accurate, it became old news after about the eleventh or twelfth sneeze. From the fourth to the tenth, the whole cave had ended up erupting in laughter, with each sneeze only making the joke grander and grander. But around the 9th or so, the laughter died down and the last laugh was had after the tenth (it was, to her surprise, Zecora who had laughed that last laugh). This sneeze, the sneeze she just sneezed, was her twenty-third sneeze. If she had known that blowing the dust all over like she had would have caused this, she would have never done it. As it was however, her poor nostrils got full of it, and despite all of the sneezes that she sneezed, they never seemed to quite get rid of it all.

On the bright side, the entrance to the stairs had finally cleared up. On the not as bright side, Zecora was still not ready to stand. With the constant sneezing Colgate had begun to do, the healing spell had lost much of the necessary power it needed to work properly. In fact, it had become little more then the equivalent of a pony-sized Novocaine shot. Not a whole lot of healin', but a whole lot of numbin'. Not that Zecora minded too much. At least, she never complained, so Colgate figured that she was okay with it. Still, the problem remained that the stairs were now free, and yet they had an immobile Zebra to deal with.

“Are you certain she is unable to stand?” Bon-Bon asked, her voice on the edge of annoyance.

“Well,” Colgate sneezed again, “I'm not an expert when it comes to these kind of things, but I'm pretty sure. I mean, I'm a dentist, not a doctor.”

“I see. Well, this is troublesome. If I had to guess, given the time it's taken us to clear this place, I'd say that the battle we'd run from will be here shortly.”

“I could take a quick look!” Lyra beamed.

Bon-Bon shook her head. “No, it-”

“'-'s too dangerous.'” Lyra said, rolling her eyes. “Really Bon-Bon? You're gonna use that line on me?”

Bon-Bon let out a sigh. “Alright. Fine. But m-”

“'-ake it quick.'” Lyra finished for her, grinning. Bon-Bon was not quite as amused (Well, okay, she was slightly amused, but she didn't want to show it). With that, Lyra trotted over to the teleporter, focused her magic, and in a flash, she was gone.

“To enure the safety of your little band, you should leave m-” Zecora began.

“Impossible” Both Bon-Bon and Colgate interrupted Zecora mid-syllable. They looked at each other in surprise, then Bon-Bon made an 'after you' gesture-which was immediately followed up with one from Colgate. The two paused for a moment. Then both made the same gesture once more, though with a bit more force behind it. A sort of: 'After you, I insist!' Again, another pause, and this time they glared at each other.

Berry, however, found herself feeling rather uncomfortable with the whole exchange. Granted, Colgate didn't know that, but if she had, then she would have been less startled when Berry suddenly spoke up, “Uh, yeah, so like they said, there's no way we can just leave you here. Not happening.”

“With your wishes I … will comply. But I must ask this simple question: Why? If behind I were to stay, I could buy you precious time to get away.” Zecora asked, looking a bit confused.

“Because friends don't abandon friends.” Bon-Bon said simply.

Zecora was suddenly struck dumb. To Colgate's eyes, it looked as though she had just been knocked upside the head. Zecora's eyes grew suddenly large, and her mouth hung slightly open. It was clear that of all the answers Bon-Bon could have given, this was the one she had least expected.

“W-what is this you say? N-no, I cannot accept this way. Trouble is all I have caused you, and you would offer me friendship through and through? No, this canno-”

“Oh put a cork in it Zecora.” Bon-Bon said, prompting the Zebra to once again look like it had just been struck in the face. “I don't know what you are talking about when you say you've caused nothing but trouble, but we're not leaving you here.”

“But … why?” Zecora asked, clearly too dumbfounded to say anything more.

“Because you're here.” Bon-Bon said, as though that explained everything.

“Yeah. And you're hurt! As a doctor, there's no way I can leave you here!” Colgate added.

“But didn't you say that you're a dentist, not a doctor?” Berry pointed out.

“Well … yes. I did say that … but, uh...” Colgate suddenly felt a little foalish. “Well, you see, I work with teeth, not with the body. But the fact still stands that I took an oath to help hurt ponies in need! And Zecora here needs our help. After all, it was us who did this to her...” Colgate's head sunk slightly in shame.

“Plus, why not? If there's one thing Twi-” Bo-Bon caught herself, closed her eyes, took a breath, then continued, “I mean, Princess Twilight has taught us, it's to be friends with everypony. Or, at least, to give them a chance.” Bon-Bon added. She opened her mouth to say more, but then a bright flash of light filled the room.

“WE GOTTA GO!” Lyra cried as she dashed across the room.

“SIT-REP?!” Bon-Bon cried.

Lyra skidded to a dead stop, and turned to Bon-Bon, “The battle is at the pit stop as we speak. Ms. Jubilee's forces are holding them back, but it won't be long until the mons-”

Suddenly the room filled with light once more, and everypony's eyes flew to the spot it came from.

Sure enough, there stood a monstrous pony. Wreathed in flames and covered in what looked to be part of a pitchfork-and-torch mob of ponies, it let forth a mighty roar as it struggled to break free and charge right at them.

Colgate froze. Never before had she seen such a beast. Granted, she had seen some pretty crazy things. She had been the pawn of an evil queen, had watched as a giant monster laid waste to the Equestrian landscape (well, more like the trees and the grass, and the local library), saw first-hoof the fury of an Ursa Maj-er-Minor, and was witness to the unparalleled power of both a rabid vermin herd, and monstrous (yet undeniably adorable) creatures from the Everfree Forest. There was also that time when timberwolves came into her garden and ate all of her azaleas. She never understood why it had to be the azaleas. Why not the dandelions? Those things taste awful. Not like the azaleas. No, those things were simply heavenly. But alas, they did her no favors and, left her poor garden a desolate wasteland of dandelions. On the plus side, they left the roses alone. But those tend to be a bit spicy without an azalea or two to accompany them.

This creature, however, had nothing to do with roses or azaleas or dandelions. What it did have to do with, was fear. Lots and lots of fear. And Colgate was caught fast in its claws (that is, the terrible claws of fear) by the very sight of it, to say nothing of the roars it was giving out. So, with petty things like the power of thought thoroughly purged from her mind, she reacted to what happened next out of reflex, and little else.

“LYRA, COLGATE, GRAB ZECORA AND FOLLOW ME!” Bon-Bon shouted, “BERRY, BEHIND ME!”

Colgate's magic switched with surprising speed from her healing spell to the ever useful and versatile levitation spell, and suddenly felt the full weight of a Zebra weigh down on her mind. It lasted only a moment as she saw Lyra's magic combine with hers and Zecora lift off the ground. Without missing a beat, Lyra then grabbed Colgate's mane, gave it a hard tug, and began running after Bon-Bon.

Normally, Colgate would have questioned this rather painful course of action. After all, that really freaking hurt! However, she saw the wisdom of it, as the pain had knocked her out of her staring stunned state. So, with all the speed her little hooves could carry her (technically, she had perfectly average sized hooves, if not close to ideal for a fine mare such as she! Well, okay, she was flattering herself a little, as her hooves were ever so slightly oversized … but only a little!), she ran for the stairs carrying a very surprised Zebra directly behind her.

And not a moment too soon! As they hit the entrance and began scrabbling up the stairs, she heard something huge smash into the wall behind her, and not a moment later, she heard the loud pop of the teleporter activating once more, followed by another roar, but from a different beast. She heard the sounds of chaos behind her as she heard more and more pops and more and more roars and the sounds of what must have been hundreds of ponies trying to scream and shout over the sounds of their foes.

Just as they reached the top, and barreled through the doorway, Colgate heard one final sound from below. She heard a voice, as clear as a bell, of a pony she had come to know well.

“EVERYPONY,” Cherry Jubilee's voice rang out, “RETREAT!”

The real question, however, was where, and what was Mr. Turner doing? As fate had it, he was riding an ill-fated train headed to Dodge Junction, not two days prior to the above event. You see, he had received a letter informing him that his expertise was needed just south of the Equestrian border, and the letter informed him that it would be wise indeed if he was not late for this most very, most important, and most vital, of dates. This would have proven no problem, save that he had gotten the letter several days past when he suspected that he was supposed to receive it (a pony with pink hair and a yellow coat had received it by accident, but apparently it took her several days to build up the courage to give it to him). If it hadn't been for this delay in the letter's arrival, he would have had more then enough time to gather together sufficient provisions, compony, and various other things he would have needed for the journey.

He also would have noticed he had hopped onto the wrong train.

Rather then take the train that headed south of the border through the rather new town of Appleloosa, he had taken the Dodge Junction Express Line (making stops at Dodge Junction, Ponyville [on EVEN days ONLY], and Canterlot). And so, he was there when the train had suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, jumped high into the air. Sadly for him, he had nodded off before that had happened, and had awoken with a rather nasty headache from having knocked his noggin about after he had been launched from his seat (as well as a sore neck, the poor guy). He also had awoken to discover the various items he had brought with him had gone and disappeared. After spending many fruitless minutes looking about the cabin for them, the only item he had found after all was said and done was his diploma (it was actually a copy, as the actual diploma was kept at Canterlot University for safe keeping. This was standard procedure, and Time was actually quite glad for it). Granted, it didn't help that he was in the over crowded poor pon-um-'Economy' section. Not that anypony would have taken his effects mind you, but given that ponies were all but hanging out of the windows, there was little chance that he was going to be able to find the various things he had brought for his journey amongst them. A pity, for one of the items was his map of Equestria. Still, he knew that he had to head south, and in his mind, that was good enough!

Colgate's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. They had plowed into the dragon's lair, and into the poor ponies in front of her and Lyra. Lyra had been on her toe-erm-hooves, and so had noticed that Bon-Bon and Berry had stopped running. Poor, poor Colgate. Being ever the pony to suffer random tumbles, falls, collisions, and sudden shouts of joy with enough force to send her flying, had not noticed. To be fair, prior to all of these recent events, she was subject to such things no more then your average Equestrian. Sure she tripped, fell, and even kissed the dirt from time to time (well, she never actually KISSED the dirt per say, that would be weird, like that one time when she-), but it wasn't anymore then say, Lyra, or even Bon-Bon did. But that simply didn't matter now, for she suddenly found herself in the middle of a pretty pony pile … of pain.

Oh, and poor, poor Zecora.

Anyway, injured zebras who found themselves suddenly subject to the forces of gravity aside (even her cries of pain rhymed!), Colgate untangled herself from them and got to her hooves (all the while constantly apologizing for being so clumsy). Sheepishly, she reached out to Zecora once more, and helped pick her up off the floor.

“Never mind that,” Bon-Bon said as she stood, “Look.” And with that, Colgate turned her eyes where Bon-Bon pointed.

There was nothing there, aside from the massive pile of gems, gold, and other assorted treasures.

“W-Where's the dragon?” Colgate said, rather shocked.

“It would seem the fearsome beast took flight. Unless it found some other way to stay out of sight...” Zecora mused.

That did little to help Colgate feel better. “What do you mean, 'stay out of sight'? Are you saying it's hiding?!”

Zecora opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the sounds of solid stone being smashed to pieces from the bottom of the staircase. She looked back at it, then back at Colgate, “It would seem the time for questions has past! Come, let us flee, for against those monsters we will not last!”

The four of them nodded. Colgate cast a quick glance around the lair. Holy colt, this dragon was loaded! Colgate noted that there must have been enough gold in this chamber to pay for her entire tuition at least a thousand times over, if not a couple of thousand times. And not just gold either, but all sorts of precious and semi-precious gems and other such things just lying about all over the place. Not only that, she could see that this dragon clearly had impeccable taste in both art and furniture. Granted, all of said pieces were scattered about haphazardly and all very much too small for a dragon (well, the furniture anyway. Sure the art may have been a bit small for the typical dragon household to hang on the wall, but art is immune to such petty concerns! Right?). She even noted the odd scepter or cape, or other fashion accessories. Sadly however, it seemed that this dragon did not have the same eye for fashion as it did art. Furniture and art: clearly a connoisseur. Fashion and fashion accessories? No taste what-so-ever.

“Though that passage we must go. And from there, to you the way out, I will show.” Zecora said nodding towards what looked to be a pony-sized entrance into this lair (not to be confused with what looked to be a huge dragon-sized entrence into this lair).

“Understood.” Bon-Bon said as she broke into a full gallop.

“Wait a minute! Weren’t you the one who was all suspicious of Zecora?!” Berry asked through heavy breaths. She was not a fit pony, and the sudden sprinting, plus the clearing of debris, was beginning to take its toll.

“Indeed I was, and I will admit that I still am, but at this moment, we have little choice in the matter.” Bon-Bon replied coolly.

“A right you shall take, then two lefts you shall make.” Zecora listed off as she hovered swiftly behind the little group. Colgate took a moment to glance over her shoulder to look back at where she knew the stairs were, and saw a massive plume of dust erupt forth, accompanied by a deafening smash, and a roar loud enough to shake the walls and the treasures that covered the floor.

Colgate nearly froze as she watched a monster erupt from the cloud and charged directly at their group. She gasped and did just about the only sensible thing a pony in her position could do: she picked up the closet random thing and threw it at the thing's face. Said thing happened to be a particularly lumpy scepter, which the monster grabbed with its mouth, and bent its neck to throw right back at her.

Then, it paused. Colgate could see it looking at the scepter, considering its value. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lyra look back, smile, and open her mouth. “Some nice booty, an't it?! Shame it would be if you guys came all this way and left empty hoofed! I mean, an't ya tired of being pushed around by those dragons?” She stopped running, and turned to look at the creature, which, in turn, had turned to appraise her. “I mean, look at you guys. There's no way a dragon could take you guys on now! So why not, oh, I don't know, take the booty that's supposed to be yours to begin with?”

Colgate's heart stopped. Was she nuts?! She too stopped running, lest Zecora accidentally get dropped to the ground again. “Ly-”ra, are you nuts?! She began to say.

“YOU. ARE. RIGHT.” The monster said, its voice causing the ground to rumble. It then turned to the hoard, and began scooping it up in liberal measure. She even watched it as it began swallowing entire mouthfuls of coins. Colgate's surprise knew no bounds, and was so stunned that she didn't even react when a second monster plowed directly into the first one, and the two began fighting over a chest. The third one to join the brawl knocked her out of it, as the fight sent the very same scepter that she had thrown, directly into her face. Fortunately, the impact was somewhere between 'OW, THAT REALLY HURT' and loosing the ability to remained focused on one's magic.

With a shake of her now throbbing head, she turned (as did Lyra, who looked very, very pleased with herself), and began running towards the exit once more.

“Mr. Turner, I am sorry for you, I really am, but I simply can't just LET you take a ride back to Ponyville for free.” The ticketmare said, sadly shaking her head.

“But my money all fell out on the train! I have to go back! I don't have anything on me anymore, and I need to head south!” Time shouted in desperation. “I can't go south without proper provisions or equipment! And I need money to get them!”

“Again, I'm sorry, but I simply can't help you. NEXT IN LINE PLEASE!” she responded, then shouted pleasantly.

“Please! You gotta be able to help somehow!” he begged.

“Again, Mr. Turner, there is nothing I can do. I am sorry for you, I really am, but I simply can't just give you a ticket for nothing. Perhaps Ms. Jubilee has some work or something you can do. She often has odd jobs that need to be done here and there. NEXT PLEASE!” The ticketmare said once more, trying to look over his head to see behind him.

Time Turner let out a sigh. It was clear that he wasn't going to win this argument. He hadn't won the last two either, and he figured that he wasn't going to win a fourth, So, dejected and defeated, he turned away from the window, and left the office.

He paused outside the door. The train he had come in on was in a sorry state. That bandit raid had done a number on the poor locomotive, and he could see a large number of worker ponies trying their best to put together some hasty repairs. He took a deep breath. The dry air smelt of dust, and made him sneeze slightly.

“Well Doctor Turner,” he said to himself, “A fine pickle you've gotten yourself into this time.” He let out a sigh. If his field of study had received the recognition it rightly deserved, he would have had an assistant to handle all of these sort of details. Or, better yet, a companion of some kind to have on hoof to help keep his affairs in order. Sadly, he had none of these things. Indeed, the only thing he had now was the copy of his diploma. Well, that and his nearly unparalleled knowledge of the nature of Temporal matters. But both did him little good at the moment. He let out a sigh. What to do? Should he try as the ticketmare suggested, and seek out this 'Ms. Jubilee'? No, that wouldn't work. It would take too long to earn the money needed and to head back to Ponyville. Well, there was clearly only one option! He looked high into the sky and collected his courage.

Then, turning to the edge of town, he started walking south.

Colgate's legs were screaming with pain. Ever since they had left the lair, they had been running non-stop. To say nothing of the mild hornache she was getting from focusing on the levitation spell for so long. And it seemed as though they had been running forever, as the pathways and the passages never ended. A turn here, a pivot there; it seemed as though they were simply going in random directions. Still, Zecora seemed to know where they were going, so on they ran. Bon-Bon had taken the lead, with Berry close behind her. Lyra came next, with Zecora hovering behind her, and last in line was Colgate. For awhile, there had been enough room for both her and Lyra to run to the side of each other, with Zecora in the center, but as they traveled further and further, the passageways (which were more like cave tunnels then anything) got more and more narrow, until they were forced to run through them single-file. The ceiling also got lower and lower as well. It made for a very claustrophobic experience, even for a pony like Colgate who didn't have said phobia.

“Bon-Bon, can,” Berry gasped for breath, “we please slow down? I-I don't think that those things can follow us anymore!” she managed. Not easy from Colgate could tell, given that she was clearly exhausted and had to shout over the sounds of their stampeding hooves.

“NO, WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING!” Bon-Bon screamed back, her voice on the edge of panic.

“But why?!” Berry cried. Colgate had to agree with the idea of stopping. She was feeling very winded, and she could only guess how exhausted the others must be.

“WALLS.” Bon-Bon shouted out, “T-THE WALLS!” It was hard to see form back where she was, but she was sure she could see Bon-Bon look to the sides of her, then up, then suddenly run even faster.

“Aww, freak...” Lyra said, “Not good...”

Colgate looked at Lyra, then tilted her head to try and look ahead at Bon-Bon. “What? What's going on? Wait, don't tell me Bon-Bon's-”

“Afraid of small places? Yeah, she is.” Lyra said, shaking her head, and picking up her pace. “Normally, she's pretty good at keeping it under control, ya know? But every one in a while she just straight-up loses it.”

“We gotta calm her down! She's gonna loose us at this rate!” Colgate panted, as she too tried to gallop even faster to keep up with Berry and Bon-Bon. The strain on her body was beginning to take its toll, and she could feel it even beginning to affect her magic, as maintaining it became harder and harder. She glanced quickly at Zecora, who was looking down at the ground with wide eyes. Colgate glanced down to see that she was only hairs away from being dragged on it.

“Tired I know you must be, but, please, higher you must lift me!” Zecora pleaded helplessly.

Colgate realized at that point she had two choices. Either slack on the spell and let Zecroa drag, or slow her pace and fall behind. Since neither was an option, she turned to Lyra, “Come on! There's gotta be something we can do! And why now of all times?!”

Lyra grit her teeth, closed her eyes, and let out a heavy sigh, as if accepting something she really didn't want to. Then, she turned to Colgate, “Colgate. I'm sorry, but you gotta take Zec-”

And then, quite suddenly, they were blinded by the bright glare of sunlight, the sudden hold of gravity, and the sudden realization that they were falling (Zecora smiling all the while).

The griffin touched down at the entrance to the covered platform that over looked the entire gully. It shook its head and opened the door, muttering to itself about how much trouble these stupid ponies were turning out to be. As it stepped into the room, several ponies looked up at it and did something of a half salute. It didn't much care for that, and it really only made the ponies do that to irritate them. It made its way over to the glass wall and overlooked its operation. At least things were going to plan, thus far. Granted, having one of those Unicorn Ponies and their magic would have helped its operation a great deal, but after dealing with that blue freak of nature, it decided that Earth Ponies and Pegasus Ponies were good enough. At least they didn't randomly explode. The teal (or was it mint-colored?) unicorn reacted the way it was supposed to when the cloth hit its horn, but the blue one.... It shook its head again. The whole experience had left a bad taste in its beak. Oh well. Unicorn or no unicorn, it still had the hundreds and hundreds of ponies slaving away in the gully. With any luck, they'll soon get another dragon, reaching the goal of 7. After that, if all went well, then it was a simple matter of having them all fall asleep and then using the pegasai it had wiped to spread the smoke all over that pony puke of a nation! Not to mention the Dragon lands to the south.

It sat down and watched as the task-ponies it had talon-picked drove their kin to dig faster. Always faster. They could never dig fast enough. And for good reason. Thus far, it had managed to stay just under the radar of the prissy pony princesses, but it knew that it wouldn't be able to keep it up too much longer. Sure, the cloth it had found wiped the memory of that pony from the minds of the other ponies, but even it knew that eventually somegriffin would notice all the missing ponies. Its operation had been foiled once before, but that was before it had found the cloth. Blank slates were much easier to control then ponies who knew who they were. It wondered once more if wiping a pony like that lasted forever.

It shrugged. It didn't much matter as far as it was concerned, nor did it much care. If all went well, then it could wash its talons of these pesky pony pests once and for all, and its poor younger sister's honor would finally be restored! Those ponies would finally learn that nogriffin, and it meant NOGRIFFIN, messes with a griffin's hono-

And then it saw five ponies (four ponies and a Zebra to be exact), suddenly come flying out of a tunnel, and land right in the middle of the gully.

Well then. Looks like it'll get not only a second chance at getting a unicorn (two even!), but it'll get to see if the cloth will work on a zebra...

Colgate coughed as the dust around them swirled from the impact, and she suddenly found herself getting to her hooves as quickly as possible. She blinked as the sun and dust stung her eyes, and tried her best to look around.

Sadly, that only proved to worsen the situation.

The five of them were smack dab right in the middle of a huge gully; surrounded on all sides by ponies, and even a few dragons lazily hovering around. And while one could say gully, it's almost more accurate to say ravine. Huge rock walls shot straight up all around them, and Colgate saw that they were peppered with hundreds of holes. She could see ponies swarming in and out of them, and she could see mining equipment all around. And, high above her, attached at the top of one of the walls, was a large platform that clearly looked like an observation deck. What made it all worse, was the fact that she could see that every pony within eye shot, was a blank-flank.

The action in the gully paused for a moment, as all eyes turned and stared at them. Then, all at once, the ponies moved like some kind of hive, and began to surround them.

Bon-Bon was not helping either. It seemed that her panic from the tunnels was only escalating and that Berry, as well as poor, poor Zecora, had been knocked clean out (poor Berry had acted [rather unwittingly] as Colgate's landing cushion you see). Lyra, while conscious, was also beginning to look rather worried.

All-in-all, things looked rather bad for them.

“Lyra?” Colgate said, backing away as best as she could from the approaching ponies, “W-what do we do?!” Colgate cast a glance at her, hoping to see something of a plan on her face. All she saw were frantically darting eyes.

“Uh...” she said, “We, uh...” she paused, then looked at Berry, “Colgate! Quick! Wake her up!”

“W-”

“HURRY!”

“RIGHT!” And with that, Colgate sent a huge surge of magic (quite a bit more then she should have. Hello migraine) directly into Berry, who's eyes suddenly popped right open.

She gasped for air, then said, “Ow! Wh-”

“BERRY, GIVE ME THE BOTTLE!” Lyra cried.

“Huh? Wh-”

“HURRY!” Lyra shouted once more.

Berry blinked, but never-the-less held her hoof up. Colgate looked at her curiously. What was she do-and then she watched as the very same bottle that she had given to Zecora suddenly appear in her hoof. Colgate gasped, as Lyra suddenly grabbed it, and turned to Bon-Bon, who looked ready to break and run for it.

“HEY,” Lyra shouted at her, “BB!”

Suddenly, Bon-Bon's panic turned into raw fury, as she turned to Lyra and said with a growl so menacing that it caused Colgate to shrink back (as well as Berry, and even Zecora … if she had been awake), “WHAT. DID. YOU. CALL. M-”

Before she could finish her dire threat, Lyra suddenly shoved the bottle into her mouth, grabbed the fluid with her magic, and forced it down her throat.

“Drink up!” she said, with far too much glee.

Then time froze. That is, it froze for everypony, save Bon-Bon. Her eyes bulged and she gagged as Colgate suddenly saw stars fill the air around her. Then, she saw her become wrapped in light, and the world around them disappeared and they all found themselves in what looked like a large tunnel of light surrounding them, and Colgate swore she suddenly heard heroic music swelling as the light around Bon-Bon intensified. She watched as Bon-Bon lifted from the ground and brown, green, and grey hues shot from the walls surrounding them and wrapped themselves around her rear hooves, swirling with increased speed until suddenly, and quite magically, the colors exploded and revealed a par of muddy, old, combat boots (complete with large army knife). Colgate watched as the hues gathered once more and snaked their way up her legs and wrapped around her waist. This time they shimmered, and dissipated revealing a pair of torn and beaten combat pants. Bon-Bon spun once, twice, and Colgate noticed that her eyes (well, the eye that was not patched) were closed in a look of serenity. Then her body and forelegs became wrapped in the hues. She brought both of her forelegs above her head, and began to spin in midair. Slowly at first, but picked up speed at an alarming rate. She became a blur of earth-tones and Colgate watched as lighting shot forth from the tunnel about them and struck the whirling cocoon. It wrapped itself around Bon-Bon's swirling mass, and then it all exploded to reveal Bon-Bon's final form. Colgate was stunned. Bon-Bon was covered head to hoof in combat gear. She wore a camo jacket, beaten and worn. She had a belt, which was covered in all sorts of things. Her hair was messy, and bore battle scars. Her eyepatched eye had a long scar running from above it to long beneath it, and around her head, was a bight red headband. Bon-Bon then slowly descended to the ground, and as she did, the world around them returned once more to normal. Bon-Bon had changed.

Bon-Bon had become a commando.

If Bon-Bon were aware that she were in a story, she would like to remind the reader that she has never been a commando, nor been in the direct service of the Princess. Though, if you ask me, that claim doesn't hold much water anymore, but we digress.

Bon-Bon's good eye opened, and she looked left and right. She then cracked her neck and looked calmly up at the sky, then forward once more. “Lyre,” she said in a deep, gravely voice, causing Lyra's eye to tic, “I really hate that name...”

Bon-Bon ran over the mission in her head. Her target was the Griffin. It was clear to her that it was doing the exact same thing it was last time she was here, and this time, it was using powerful magic to do it. And unlike last time, Bon-Bon could actually do something about it. She grit her teeth. She had been powerless before, and had fled when she and Lyra had found this place. Fled straight back to Ponyville, and, in her current mind, cried all the way to the Princess. Not this time.

This time, it was personal (after all, she and Bonnie Bonnet were good friends!).

Colgate watched as Bon-Bon dashed forward directly at a large group of blank-flank ponies. Before she could ask her if she'd gone insane, she saw as Bon-Bon pulled two small objects out of her belt, and toss them at the ground in front of the ponies. A bight flash filled her eyes, almost blinding her. Luckily, she was far enough away that she recovered quickly. Quickly enough to watch Bon-Bon leap over several stunned ponies, jump off the head of one, onto a rock face, scramble up the rock wall, leap from the wall, and kick a descending dragon clean in the face.

And she was only getting started.

She reached once more into her belt, and thew a rope around the surprised dragon's mouth, and yanked on it, hard, as she fell. The dragon, not yet recovered from the first blow, dropped out of the air, and crashed directly upon the group of ponies that Bon-Bon had stunned. Still not finished, and still falling, she cried out, “LYRA, SHIELD!” Lyra, not missing a beat, threw up a shield just as Bon-Bon landed directly on the downed dragon's neck, causing it shoot a fireball, and filled the entire gully with fire.

When the smoke cleared, Colgate saw ponies all about her who were charred black. They all blinked a couple of times, and Colgate found the stark contrast between the large whites of their eyes, and the charred black of their bodies and clothes to be rather silly. Then, almost at once, they all let out a puff of air (smoke really) from their mouths, and promptly passed out onto the ground.

It was right about then she suddenly heard a huge crash from above, and looked just in time to see a second dragon crash into the wall, and come falling down towards them.

“RUN!” Lyra cried as she wrapped Zecora in her magic. Colgate, quick as a whip, grabbed Berry (wow she was heavy!) as well, and ran … the opposite direction as Lyra. Luckily, the dragon still missed them, but the impact lifted Colgate off her hooves and almost into the wall. Luckily, her poor cranium was spared from rock-related damages. Berry's body (which proved to be remarkably cushy [which might explain why she was harder then expected to lift] and soft) took Colgate's damage for her once again. Poor Berry.

Colgate got to her hooves and, after offering many apologizes to Berry, looked up once more. Her jaw dropped as she saw Bon-Bon wrapped around the neck of one dragon, and using it to block the various gouts of fire and body blows from three other dragons. When she had an opening, Colgate saw Bon-Bon pull out what looked like a long tube, and fire something into another dragon. She quickly put it back, and used her rather hostile mount as a body shield from the counter attack. The dragon she was on reeled, and she lept from it, and onto the one she hit. It roared, then, quite suddenly, it went silent, and fell straight out of the sky (Colgate couldn't help but notice giant 'Z's coming from the dragon's mouth). The other three followed it down as it fell, their eyes burning with terrible rage. Bon-Bon then cried out, “GET IN A CAVE!”

Figuring that it was a good idea to listen to a pony who'd just taken out three dragons by herself, Colgate grabbed Berry once more, and dashed into the nearest cave she could find (which, thankfully, wasn't all that hard, for there were caves all over the place). She paused a moment to look back, just in time to see Bon-Bon pull out what looked to be a dozen or so small balls (more like, egg-shaped objects), and toss them at the walls above the dragons.

Then, all at once, the whole of the gully exploded.

More accurately, the little balls exploded when they hit the walls, and caused the tops of the rock walls to fly off, and come crashing down upon the suddenly very surprised dragons. Colgate dove for cover in the little cave she ran into, and heard a thunderous crash as rocks, dragons, and presumably Bon-Bon all hit the ground, and dust flew into her little cave, blocking out the light.

After several moments, Colgate focused her magic. Her horn glowed and filled the dark space around her. She turned around. It seemed that a large boulder had felt the need to fall and block the entrance to her cave. Before she could give it much thought, she heard a terrible roar. It sounded much clearer then it should have, given the blocked entrance. That must mean that another, unblocked, entrance was nearby! But, what to do with Berry? She looked at her sleeping friend and paused a moment.

“She'll be fine, right? Besides, it's not like I'm going very far, I can come right back!” Colgate said to herself. She knew this was a bad idea, but she went for it anyway. Offering another apology, she dashed down the tunnel, and after a sharp bank, a sudden turn, a left at the fork, and a right at the round-about, she found herself at the edge of another entrance, and watching Bon-Bon and another dragon duking it out. He jaw hung as she saw Bon-Bon leap from large bolder to large bolder (and the occasional unconscious dragon), dodging the dragon's attacks. How many of these things where there?! Bon-Bon once more pulled out that tube (now that Colgate was much closer, she could see it was a blowgun, with a silencer), and fire a tiny dart into the dragon's skin. Colgate was amazed. How did she even know that little spot of exposed skin was there?

She ducked as said blowgun suddenly flew directly at her face. It missed, and shattered on the wall behind her. She looked up, wide-eyed with surprise. The dragon had finally gotten a solid blow in, and had knocked Bon-Bon into the wall beneath Colgate. It turned, staggered slightly, and began stumbling towards them. Unfortunately for it, Colgate was a dentist. Now, normally, one would have assumed that Colgate would have used this moment to heal Bon-Bon a bit, and send her back into the fray to finish the job. However, Colgate was, at times, a bit too proactive for her own good. So, rather then heal Bon-Bon, she sent a serious injection of Novocaine directly into the dragon's talons … as well as its head. A bit unnecessary, she admitted, but she wanted to be darn sure.

Luckily for her, it just so happened that this particular dragon was highly susceptible to Novocaine. And thus, it promptly collapsed, pinning poor Bon-Bon under its rather pointed chin. Colgate too thought this would be a fine time for a nap, as she too collapsed onto the floor. It seems that last burst of magic took more power was more then her poor pony body had left in it. And the last thing she saw before the world went dark, was a friendly pegasus land next to her.

Wait, that's not a pega...

“Well, well, well.” Said a voice Colgate had come to dread. “It seems our little FREAK-a-corn is finally awake!” Her tired and groggy eyes slowly opened to a scene that she had hoped was only ever in stories (or cheesy movies). She was tied up, lying on the floor, cloth on horn. Next to her was a gagged and struggling Berry. She was in a large room that looked as though it once had windows for walls, though now all the glass had clearly blown out. Looking around, she saw Bon-Bon tied up and hanging from the ceiling, and Lyra tied to a table (who was out like a light). She also saw three pegasai who where holding large sticks, poking Bon-Bon and keeping her in place. Colgate noticed they made a point of keeping the poles from her mouth and Colgate could see why (the forth, fifth, sixth, and seventh pegasai, who's heads were covered in bruises and large lumps, gave the reason away). And, standing next to the table (leaning on it to be more exact), was the frustratingly gender-neutral griffin.

“Now that the one with the filthy mouth is gagged, Ms. Commando here finally pacified, and the freak awake, I can finally see if this thing works on a NORMAL unicorn!” It chirped, and pulled from its jacket the dark red and dirty gold cloth Colgate had come to fear. “You guys really did a number on my operation here. You took out all six of my dragons, knocked out most of my slave force, and turned my best bandits into infighting monsters.” It shook its head. “I gotta admit, I'm impressed. And I really want to know how you guys did it too. I mean, you an't the same pony you were when we tangled.” it said pointing a claw at Bon-Bon, who spit at it. “How in the world did you get so good?” It asked, getting a bit too close to her face.

“Buzz off, birdbrain.” Bon-Bon snapped.

“Fine. Let's see if you're so bold after I wipe you clean!” it shouted, and with a deft movement, pulled out a large knife, tossed it, and cut the cloth open covering Bon-Bon's cutie mark. Bon-Bon had tried to dodge it, but the poles had kept her from moving in time. The griffin then wasted no time as it dashed to Bon-Bon's side, laughed, and swiped the cloth across her cutie mark.

Bon-Bon let out a cry and her eyes suddenly shot out white light (as well as her mouth) and she began twitching and convulsing uncontrollably.

“HOLD HER DOWN!” it roared, and the pegasai dropped their poles, and grabbed her. The griffin pulled out another knife, ran to the other side of Bon-Bon, and cut open the pants, revealing her other cutie mark. “GOTCHA!” it cried as it swiped the cloth across the mark, and Colgate saw, to her horror, it come right off like dirt (or perhaps grape juice, though that tends to stain...). Bon-Bon stopped shaking about, and then sagged. All of the gear on her disappeared almost shamefully, and then her eyes came back to normal once more, save one detail: They were vacant, empty, and staring (though she did have her pupils, at least). “Huh. Well, that was kinda weird. Whatever, disappearing clothing or not, you're mine! Got that? YOU'RE MINE!” It shouted into Bon-(wait, what was her name?)'s face.

She said nothing. In fact, it looked like she wasn't even there.

“Hello? HELLLLOO? ANYGRIFFIN HOME?” it knocked on her head.

Still no response.

“Huh … now that's REALLY weird.” it looked at Colgate and Berry, then Lyra. “Geeze, what's with you ponies? Whatever. I still have this one I can wipe.” it pointed at Lyra. At the hanging pony flinched, but there was still nothing behind her eyes. “Oh?” the griffin raised an eyebrow. “That got a response did it? Well then. Tell me how you did it, OR THE TEAL ONE GETS IT!” it shouted, holding the cloth high in the air and shaking it.

Nothing.

“FINE!” it cried. “I'll do it anyway! I bet that one will at least be more normal then you two freaks!” it cried, shooting a look of daggers at Colgate and the hanging pony. She twitched once more. It then stood, and then Berry screamed through her gag.

The griffin looked at her, curiously. It made a wave with its talon, and the pegasai ran over, and ungagged Berry. “P-Please! No! No more! Please!!” she cried.

Cracking a huge grin, it walked over to her. “Oh? You gonna tell me what happened?”

“Y-”

“NO!” squeaked Colgate. The three pegasai did a double take, and the griffin fought a smile.

“Now, now, now. Can't have any of that. Either she tells me, or I wipe her and make her tell me. Either way, she's gonna talk. Or, you know, you could.” it shrugged, “I'm flexible.”

“You're a monster!” Colgate squealed.

“This coming from the pony whose eyes flashed with cutie marks when I touched her with this little cloth.” it said, shaking both head and cloth.

“C-Cutie marks?!” Colgate said.

“Yeah. I didn't realize it at first, but when I saw all those weird symbols flash in your eyes, turns out those were all cutie marks.” it shrugged again. “I have no idea what it means, but right now, I don't really care. I just wanna know what you guys did to her.” it said, pointing a claw at the one still hanging from the ceiling.

“I'll tell you everything! Please, just stop!” Berry cried.

“Berry! No!” Colgate said.

Berry opened her mouth, “Oh forget it! I should have done this to begin with!” it shouted and promptly walked over to Berry, and wiped both of her cutie marks. Unlike the other Earth Pony, Berry's eyes just went blank for a moment, then came back.

“Huh? What?” She said, looking about, very confused.

“B-” Colgate started.

“YOU'RE MINE!” It screamed into Berry's face. Berry's ear flopped back and her eyes went wide with terror.

“A-alright!” she cowered.

“Finally!” it threw its arms in the air, “A NORMAL pony for once!” It then looked at Colgate. “See?! THAT'S what's supposed to happen!” it then turned back to Ber-the pony next to her, “So, your friend over there, the one hanging out, she was dressed like a commando a moment ago and took out my operation. How?”

“Huh? Oh. She dra-”

“-NK wonder potion! Y-yeah! That's the stuff! Really potent, that's for sure!” Colgate let out a nervous laugh, “Too bad she drank the last of it. Yep. All gone. Nothing left.”

The griffin gave her a flat stare. “Gag her.” The ponies in the room wasted no time complying. “Right, what she'd drink?” it asked, turning again to the other pony.

“She drank this stuff I made for a party. I'm not really sure how it works, but every time somepony drinks it, they become really strong.” she said with complete honesty.

“Really? Huh. Where is it?” it asked, looking rather eager.

“Lyra had it last. I don't know if there's any left though.” the pony shrugged.

“Which one is she?” it asked, looking eagerly between the three remaining ponies. Wait, three? Where was Zecora?

“She's the one on the table. The teal unicorn.” she said casually, nodding in Lyra's direction.

“Really? Well, that makes this easy.” it said. Getting up, it walked over to Lyra's prone figure. The hanging pony twitched once more as it got close to the table, and the griffin shot her a mean look. “Oh shut up!” it shot.

Colgate took a breath. Well, this gamble worked once, perhaps it might work again. She sent as a big a surge of magic as she could to her horn. Nothing happened. Or rather, she could tell that an explosion should have happened, but did not. She still got the migraine though. She let out a painful whimper.

As the griffin approached Lyra's marks, it looked over at Colgate, and gave a little smile. “I'm guessing that little whimper meant you tried something, didn't it? Can you guess why you didn't explode?” The smile grew a little, “I hope so, 'cause I an't gonna tell ya.” then it turned back to Lyra. “Now then, time to see if this works!” It raised the cloth once more, high in the air, just as Lyra suddenly woke up.

“Huh? Wha-”

And then her marks were wiped.

Colgate was rather surprised at her reaction. In contrast to Ber-(what was her name again?) and the other pony, Lyra didn't even react. She just kinda blinked a few times, looked around a little confused, and then at the griffin.

There was a pause.

And then the hanging pony went nuts.

She thrashed about violently, causing her swing around like a wrecking ball. The griffin lept back, and Lyra looked over with wide eyes. “HOLD HER STILL!” the griffin screamed at the other three ponies in the room. They ran over, and one was knocked to the side for his efforts. The other two struggled to hold her still, and the third one got up, and ran over to the pony next to Colgate.

“Come on! We need more hooves!” he said as he undid her ropes. She stood, saluted, and then ran over and, with the help of the other three ponies, finally got the hanging one to stop thrashing around.

The griffin let out a breath. “Okay then...” it then turned once more to Lyra, “Right. Now, about you...”

“What's up?” Ly-Ly-(Lyre? Was that her name?) said as casually and as friendly as one might say to a friend on the street.

“AH HA HA HA!” the griffin cackled wildly, and continued to do so for several moments. L-erm-the table pony raised an eyebrow a little confused.

“Uh, you okay there buddy?” she asked.

After taking a few moments to recover, it then brought its face close to her's, “YOU'RE MINE! GOT IT?”

She looked at him as if he had just stated the obvious. “Well, yeah. Duh. So what's up?” she asked again. The griffin looked taken aback, and needed a moment to regain its composure.

“Huh, yeah, right. So, that pony over there, the one hanging upside down,” it said, pointing.

“Bon-Bon? Yeah, what about her?” Bon-Bon? That was her name? Either way, the pony flinched at hearing the name, and for a moment, it seemed like something came back to those eyes.

“What the? You arn't suppose to remember that! Whatever! I don't care anymore. So, that other pony right there,” it pointed at the pony that was next to Colgate, who gave a friendly smile, “says that the hanging one drank a potion or something that made her amazing. And she told me that you have it. Is that so?” it towered over Lyra, peering into her eyes.

“Yea, I still got it. It's mostly empty though.” she said, and produced the same bottle that had caused so many problems. “Oh … it's full again. I forgot about that.” she said, shrugging.

The griffin's eyes bulged and it grabbed the bottle, and yanked the cork right out (Colgate never recalled seeing a cork in it before, but given that the thing could appear out of thin air, refill itself, and seemed indestructible, she wasn't going to ask too many questions about it having and not having a cork).

“Hey!” the pony who was tied up said, “be careful! Your bandits drank that stuff!” it was clear to Colgate it was trying to warn the griffin, but Colgate could see in its eyes that it was far gone.

“OH FREAK! You're right!” the table-unicorn said, and tried to yank the bottle from the griffin's grasp.

“OH NO NO NO, WE CAN'T HAVE THAT, AGAIN!” it cried as it yanked a brown cloth from its jacket, and tossed it on her horn. Her eyes suddenly went white and her head slumped to the side, her mouth opened, her tongue flopped out, and a little drool began to seep out. It then looked at the bottle once more. “This made those pathetic pony pukes into those things? ALL THE BETTER!” it cried as it lifted it high in the air, and, with a mighty gulp, downed the whole thing in one swig.

“BY THE PUNY SUN PONY!” It cried as it threw the bottle, out a window, and into the gully. “THAT'S NASTY!”

Then, its body suddenly twitched. Colgate heard a sickening gurgling noise come from its body, and suddenly parts of it began to swell and bulge out. It let out a painful cry as it began to grow more and more grotesque, and it got bigger and bigger. It wasn't long until it hit the ceiling, and, promptly broke through it. It began morphing and changing and it began to take a vague shape. Its two arms began to become huge and muscular, and its legs did much the same. Its wings grew fierce and fleshy as the feathers fell out and were replaced by massive, muscular, dragon wings. Its face elongated, and small gouts of fire began to creep out of the corners of its mouth. Huge spines began to sprout from its back and its tail feathers began to merge into one massive, swinging tail (also covered in massive spines). Not yet fully formed, but trembling with terrible power, it let out a cry that shook the very earth, and even the skies themselves. Colgate felt the world around her tremble, and she knew that it was all ove-

And then, quite suddenly, the massive beast shrunk down to a tiny baby dragon, and fell. It landed face first, into the floor the room (with a nice splat sound too!). There was a moment of stunned silence as the ponies in the room stared at the adorable little thing in the center (well, not the hanging pony, she was still doing her whole, 'empty stare' thing, though she did rock back and forth a little when the thing made that noise). It then popped up, and looked around.

Colgate daww'd. It was the cutest little baby girl dragon she'd ever seen. Granted, she's never SEEN a girl baby dragon before, but she was sure that if she had, this one would have won the prize.

“Oh gosh! Are you guys ok?” the little dragon asked, her voice full of sincere concern. “I'm so sorry! Here, let me help!” she ran over to the table and cut the ropes holding the pony on it, as well as yanking the cloth off her horn. It then ran over to Colgate, and removed, not one, but two of the cloths from her horn, and cut her ropes as well. She then reached out a claw to help Colgate get up.

“Wh-what happened to you?” Colgate asked, very glad to be free of that nasty gag (it was unwashed, and recently used).

“Uh, well, I guess that drink kinda made me into a little helper.” the dragon said, blushing and kicking at the ground.

It took all of Colgate's willpower to not grab her and squeeze her while squealing with delight the whole while. “What do you mean?”

“Well … I kinda wanted to turn every single one of you ponies into slaves, and eventually kinda just make you all go away, but now I just really want to help you guys!” it said, forming tiny little fists of determination and shaking them to empathize the point.

Colgate's jaw dropped once more. This little thing? “But, why?”

“Well, I kinda had this plan to use them to take over the griffin lands, and then I figured I chase all of the dragons away, at the same time, and then, I don't know, make you guys disappear somehow (and make you guys pay for making my sister look like an idiot) … But I don't want to do that anymore!” she suddenly stood straight, and gave a salute, “Now I just wanna help! What can I do?”

“Uh...” Colgate paused, and looked around. All eyes (save the hanging ones), were on her. “Any ideas?” she asked the ponies in the room, none of whom she recognized.

The teal one (who was now off the table) shrugged, “Well, she's still in charge.” she said, waving a hoof at the dragon. “So I guess we'll do whatever she says.”

Now, Colgate's been in some strange situations before, but this took the cake. Well, okay, it wasn't quite as strange as the one time when she and Berry had decided that combining various dental chemicals with bourbon was a good idea (that experience still caused her to look under her bed everyday), but it was pretty close. “Uh … can you, start by turning these ponies back to normal?” She asked tentatively.

The dragon got a nervous look on its face. “I … uh … don't know if I can.” it said. “I, uh, don't know how...” it looked down at the ground, defeated. “I, used to, but it's been so long that I forgot...”

Colgate put a hoof to her chin in thought. “Say, you were the one who made those brown cloths, right?”

“Yeah! I totally did!” it said, perhaps a bit more proudly then Colgate was truly comfortable with.

“So, I found these blueprints or something...”

“Oh! OH! I totally remember those! I spent YEARS trying to make a cloth that worked right!” it said, slamming a fist into its other claw.

“Ok, so I remember that there was one that had that red and gold cloth on it. It was really old.” Colgate's mind drifted back to those blueprints, and suddenly remembered the silly little heads that the griffin had drawn on them. She remembered that they had been chasing each other around and as she got to older and older blueprints, the one had begun to catch up to the other. She blushed slightly as she remembered the end of that silly little story (spoilers: the one caught up with the other and they fell in love).

“Yeah … I kinda remember...” she replied, scratching her chin in thought.

“Wait,” Colgate said, holding up a hoof, “I remember there was a little ghost pony coming out of it for some reason...”

“THAT'S IT!” the dragon cried, “I REMEMBER NOW! I REMEMBER HOW TO FIX EVERYPONY!”

“How?” Colgate said excitedly.

“We tear the original cloth to pieces!”

“T-That's it?” she said, a bit surprised that it was that simple.

“Yeah! Except...” she trailed off.

Uh oh … Colgate didn't like the sound of that. “Except...?”

“Well, uh … it's kinda … almost indestructible.” she said.

“WHAT?!” Colgate shouted.

“Look, I'm sorry, but it's true! I-I have no idea how to destroy it! I'm sorry!” she cried, and fell to her knees, pleading before Colgate.

Her eye twitched a number of times. “Y-you said, 'almost', right?”

“Yeah. I mean, it could be, I just have no idea how. I mean, I've put that thing through some pretty rough stuff, and it didn't even get dirty! Well,” she shrugged, “anymore dirty then it already was.”

“Well, great. Now what do we do?!” Colgate cried, and walked over the edge of the platform. She looked down at the scene of ruin and carnage below. Then a thought came to her. Where was Zecora in all of this? She looked around again. Nope, still not here. “Say, did you see a Zebra?” she asked the dragon.

The dragon shook its head. “Not since all of you guys showed up. Nopony ran into her in the caves when we brought you guys here.”

“Oh, Zecora? Yeah. I stuck her under a rock. Figured she'd be safer that way.” the unicorn pipped up.

“A ROCK?” Colgate shouted “OF ALL THE IRRESPONS-”, then felt rather ashamed as she remembered how she had left … somepony … behind. She cleared her throat. “Well, where?” Colgate asked. The unicorn put a hoof to its chin, then shrugged, causing Colgate to 'UGG' in frustration. She looked once more down at the mess below. She caught a glint, and then an insane idea struck her. “Hey,” she said to one of the Pegasus Ponies, “Could you fly down there and grab that? I have an idea.” she said, pointing to said glint.

He looked at her, looked at the dragon (who nodded), then looked down, shrugged, and flew down there. It took him a moment, but he found it, and flew back, with a nice bottle marked 'A.B.' “Here you go.” he said offering it to her.

“Thanks.” she took it, then turned to the dragon, “I have this crazy idea. What if I soak the cloth with this stuff? I mean, this stuff is all about opposites, right? So, what maybe if we soak it, and try and wipe a pony's cute mark spot, it might put it right back!”

“Hey! That sounds like might work!” the dragon pipped up. She then cast her glance around the room. “Now, where did I put that cloth …. Ah! There it is!” she ran over to a corner (even her little run was adorable!), bent down to grab it, and came back. “Here, you go!” she said, laying it on the ground before Colgate.

Colgate took a deep breath. “Ok, let's see what happens...” She held the bottle up (which was full once more), took a breath of courage, and turned it upside down.

The fluid hit the cloth, and the cloth absorbed every single drop. In fact, it kept absorbing it. The fluid kept pouring out, never ending, and the cloth kept soaking it all up. Colgate watched in awe as the cloth slowly, very slowly, became more and more soaked. She may not the foremost authority on magic, but she was pretty sure that this was strange even by magic's standards.

After a good 20 minutes of solid pouring, the damp finally finally reached the gold border. Colgate was inclined to stop sooner, but the dragon brought up the point that if any part of it was dry, it might just suck the cutie mark right back up.

It was then the sky went suddenly dark, and powerful updraft suddenly hit. The what little of the ceiling that was left of the room was ripped right off, and Colgate looked up, and right into the very maw of madness.

This was both literal, and figurative. In the sense of the former, the sky had ripped open to reveal a massive maw that had begun to suck in the various loose things that the wind was bringing to it. In the sense of the latter, the maw was rather angry looking, and seemed to be a bit tipsy (if not perhaps flat-out drunk, for it was swaying back and forth dangerously).

Despite this, Colgate had the presence of mind to let out a blood-curling scream. She was not alone. And, in panic, she fell to the ground, and began scrabbling desperately away from it. Granted, the thing was as high in the sky as a low flying cloud, and about as large as several Fancy Yachts from Canterlot, so this reaction didn't accomplish much. What was useful was Zecora's sudden, and surprising, appearance in the entrance of the now roof-less platform.

“COLGATE, TO ME YOU MUST LISTEN! WE CAN DEFEAT THIS FEARSOME APPARITION! TO SAVE US FROM A FATE MOST DIRE, THE CLOTH, YOU MUST SET IT ON FIRE!” She cried over the sounds of the rushing wind.

Colgate wasn't sure how Zecora could know something like that, nor was sure how she got here, but she wasn't about to ask too many questions with a giant mouth trying to eat the lot of them. So, out of both desperation, and fear, she focused, and tried to set fire to it.

The cloth simply absorbed her spell.

“IT ATE THE SPELL ZECORA!” Colgate shouted.

“WAIT, LET ME TRY!” the dragon said, and took a mighty breath in (puffing out its chest). Then, it let loose, and covered the cloth in a mighty billow of fire.

The cloth absorbed that too.

“OH COME O-” Colgate cried.

“TO HEAL THE SKY, TOGETHER YOU MUST TRY!”

Both dragon and Colgate looked to each other, nodded, then tried once more.

This time, it was too much for the cloth, and it burst into flames.

The sky screamed, and promptly collapsed in on itself. The cloth lifted from the ground, and became wrapped in a light blue light. Suddenly, she saw a mote of light fire from it a hit the unicorn square in the face, and suddenly, LYRA (THAT'S HER NAME! COLGATE REMEMBERED!)'s cutie marks appeared once more. Then, another one shot from it and hit the other pon-BERRY!

Then Colgate saw, to her astonishment, two lights fly from it and hit the hanging pony. Then a third, and forth, and fifth, sixth, ninth. She suddenly lost count and what seemed like dozens and dozens of them hit the hanging pony, who's name was … B-Bon-Bon!

Then, all at once, the thing simply exploded and the whole sky was filled with little motes of light blue light. She saw as they settled on the other ponies, and she saw as they too had cutie marks appear on them. Then it finally dawned on her. It was the cloth itself that was had their marks and their memories. It was the cloth itself that held all of that in it, and when Colgate had been struck by it, she had felt all of those memories, all of those ponies, that had been sucked away into it. But the question was, why?

That thought was quickly cast aside as her friends ran to her and gave her a tearful hug, glad to be back to normal, and finally safe. Well, everypony save poor Bon-Bon, who was still just kinda hanging out.

“Uh, guys? Mind letting me down? I'm beginning to feel a little dizzy...”

“Sorry BB!” Lyra said, running over to her. The Pegasus Ponies beat her to it, and freed Bon-Bon (they even had the good sense to set her on her hooves!).

“Lyra,” Bon-Bon said, her good eye twitching, “I thought I told you I hate that name!”

Lyra simply gave her a big grin.

“So, uh, not to spoil the party, but am I always gonna be like this?” the little dragon asked.

“Until you sober up, or take another drink.” Berry said, walking over and rubbing her head lightly.

“Oh... What should I do?” she asked.

“Well, I guess the best thing is to turn yourself in.” Lyra said.

“That would be the best way to go about it. They would have you safely in custody by the time you changed back.” Bon-Bon pointed out. She shook her head a couple of times, and leaned on the table.

The dragon looked rather downcast. “B-But I don't want to change back … I'm happy like this.” she said, rubbing the points of two claws on each other. “When I was normal, I was just angry and sad, and that made me unhappy all the time. I don't wanna go back to that!”

“There's better ways of dealing with that then getting drunk, trust me.” Berry winked at her. “But you can't stay that way forever. Somedays you're gonna wake up, and you're gonna have to look into the mirror with yourself. And trust me, if you rely on that stuff to make you happy, when that comes, you're gonna feel the worse you've ever felt in your life.” She looked into the dragon's eyes and smiled.

“Woah. That got real heavy, real quick. Where'd that come from Berry?” Lyra asked.

“Thinking.” She said, looking up at her. “I've realized that I've been pretty much in the same boat. I was pretty unhappy, so I started making drinks to try and stay happy. Looking at this little guy, I realize that I was going about it all wrong.” she chuckled. “Happiness doesn't come from a bottle. It comes from being friends with yourself. And the first place to start, is right here.” she said, poking the little dragon in the chest, right over the heart. “You feel happy, right? Well, when you change back, try and remember what's making you feel happy right now. And if you hold onto that, then one day, you'll become just like this. And your happiness will last a whole lot longer then a bottle.”

“R-really? No more anger? No more sadness?” the dragon asked, rather eagerly.

“You'll still get those, 'cause sometimes you'll still hurt the ponies you love, and sometimes they'll hurt you, but if you'll learn to let it go, you'll be a lot happier, trust me. We all make mistakes, but if we try and change for the better, and try our best make things better, then things will usually work out. We just gotta learn to forgive ourselves, and others.” Berry explained, her smile becoming gentle and sincere.

“I-I don't know if I know how...” the dragon said, hanging its head.

Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow, “Berry, what are yo-”

“A valuable lesson that is to learn. It is lesson of no small concern. If with me you would like to live, that lesson, I'd be willing to give.” Zecora said taking a step into the room.

“Zecora? Are you sure? I mean, this little dragon was the griffin who did all of this!” Colgate said in alarm.

“This little dragon being a griffin, this I know. But a better life, to it, I am willing to show. Hard work and quiet life it will require, but a second chance I will give you, if you so desire.” She said, approaching the little dragon.

“Why?” asked Lyra, a bit surprised by all of this. “I mean, this guy-erm-girl-whatever,”

“I'm actually a guy...” the dragon admitted.

WHAT?! Colgate nearly shouted, but kept her peace.

“Right... guy,” Lyra continued, “enslaved hundreds of ponies, robbed trains, and who knows what else! Why not just throw him into the slammer!?”

“Agreed.” Said Bon-Bon coldly. “He deserves what is coming to him.”

Zecora regarded them both coolly, then gave a small smile. “Because few ponies know better then I, that giving other a second chance is worth a try.”

Lyra thought about that for a moment, then looked mildly embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess you got a point. We were kinda rough to you before Twili-” Bon-Bon shot her a glare, “-Princess Twilight showed up...”

“No.” Bon-Bon said, staring at Zecora.

“To this griffin you would deny, a chance at a second try?” Zecora raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Bon-Bon said firmly.

“Why?” Zecora asked, looking a bit skeptical.

“I will give you three reasons. One: this griffin has caused major collateral damage to not only landscape, but to infrastructure as well.” Bon-Bon began.

“A railway you have damaged, and a gully you have destroyed. Can you honestly tell me that these crimes you have not enjoyed?” Zecora asked, though without accusation.

“I-Anyway,” Bon-Bon looked a bit ticked, “Reason two: This griffin has kidnapped hundreds of innocent ponies and forced them into slave labor, not to mention stealing their identities! And he admitted to planning an overthrow of his own kingdom.” Bon-Bon cracked a 'gotcha!' smile.

“Did not Nightmare Moon try and cast the world into darkness? And did not Discord cast all of us into chaos and prove himself heartless? And yet, as friends and trusted allies they now stand. Did not friendship into their hearts land? What punishment, I ask you, was laid upon their heads? None, save a short sleep for Discord in a stony bed. So why not show to this griffin the same hoof of friendship? Or, would a possible friend from our hooves would you rip?”

“And that brings me to reason number three. You!” Bon-Bon said, pointing an impassioned hoof at Zecora. Said zebra actually took a step back and blinked once or twice. “From the moment you showed up, you've been acting strange! Why should we trust you? What exactly are you trying to do here? And why do you want this Griffin so bad?” Bon-Bon asked, her eyes narrowing.

“I-”

“Bon-Bon!” Colgate piped up, stomping a hoof on the ground. Both zebra an pony turned and looked at her. “Why are you being so hard on her? I think she's right! And I think Berry's right too! Sure, this griffin hurt a lot of ponies, but I'm sure that if Zecora here showed him another way, then he'd be a wonderful friend! I mean, look at hi-uh-her! She's sorry for everything!”

“That's only because she's drunk!” Bon-Bon shot back.

“No she's not.” Berry shook her head. “I know drunk, and she's not drunk. I doubt that she's even got a buzz going on right now. Trust me, I know these things.”

“Even so, we can't just let everything that's happened go!” Bon-Bon almost shouted.

“You know what? Why not?” Lyra said, putting a hoof to her chin. Bon-Bon shot her a look of surprise and anger. “What? Hear me out. Think about it. Zecora's right. Nightmare Moon was Princess Luna, right? And Princess Celestia forgave her, right? Even gave her throne back. And what about that one pony? Trixie I think was her name. Even after she came back, Twilight-”

“Princess-” Bon-Bon growled.

Lyra rolled her eyes. “Fine. After she came back, Princess Twilight just let her go, right? And of course we've got Discord.”

“What about the changeling queen? Or Triek? Neither of them got forgiven for what they did!” Bon-Bon snapped.

“Well, neither of them was sorry for what they did. They woulda done it again in a heart-beat.” Lyra shrugged.

“And so would have Discord. In fact, he did, remember?”

“True...” Lyra seemed at a loss at that point.

“It's because the Princesses knew that there was SOME good in him!” Colgate said, prompting the room to look at her (well, the occupants of the room, as the room itself had no eyes with which to look at her with). “And they knew that they just had to draw it out of him. Look at this little guy,” Colgate pointed at the dragon, who was now on the verge of tears, “now that she-uh-he's seen something better, the good in his heart's come out! And if you throw him in jail now, what little good that's come out will get ripped right out.” Colgate herself was not far from crying. She was rather surprised by what she had just said. She was all for throwing this giffin in the slammer and throwing away the key, but something Berry had said had struck a cord with her. Colgate had never fully realized why it was Berry had started her business. All she had known was that Berry drank, a lot. And now that she saw Berry completely sober, sober and happy even, for the first time in what felt like years, she knew that Berry was right. Zecora was right. Lyra was right. This griffin, like Nightmare Moon had become a victim to his hatred. It had taken him over. Now that it was gone, even for a moment, she saw that he truly wanted to change. “Bon-Bon, I know you're upset, but if we don't extend the hoof of friendship to this griffin, then all we've done is made everything worse. Bon-Bon,” Colgate paused, “what do you think Princess Twilight would do?”

Bon-Bon looked between everypony in the room. He gaze sat upon each pony (and dragon) for a moment, as if coming to a conclusion about each. Then turning to the pegasus that helped Colgate (and freed Berry for that matter), she asked, “What do you think? You were one of the ponies enslaved by him. What do you think we should do?”

He looked around, a bit nervous to suddenly be put on the spot. “Uh... I-I don't know. I mean, she's got a really good point, ya know?” he said, pointing at Berry, “and, so does she,” his pointing hoof moved to Colgate, “and she kinda does too.” he said looking a Zecora. “I mean, he treated us pretty badly. And sure, I'd love to see him get what's coming to him, but...” he seemed rather conflicted, and his face strained with thought. “I mean, what woulda happened if we'd thrown Princess Luna in jail? You know, as much as I don't really want to say this, I think they're right. I-I think...” he struggled as he tried to say what came next, “I think we should … trust her.” he said, pointing to Zecora.

Bon-Bon regarded him for a moment, then looked a Zecora once more. “Fine. I'm not convinced, nor happy about it, but I won't get in the way. But you still haven't answered my other questions.”

“Bon-” Colgate objected.

“It is a request most fair. After all, she has every reason to care. I will not lie. There is another, reason, I wish to try...” Zecora looked at the little dragon once more. “In the Everfree I do make my home. But, until Twilight came, I felt very alone. A second chance she gave to me, and that chance changed me forever you see. What was sadness and loneliness became happiness and joy. And-”

“You want to give this griffin the same chance because you sympathize.” Bon-Bon suddenly said.

Zecora's smile grew a little. “Understand the situation well, you seem to. So now the question is, what will you do?”

“I...”

“Go. If anypony can show him the way, it would be either Tw-The Princess, or you, Zecora.” Colgate interjected.

“I'd also put my bits on Fluttershy. I mean, she totally befriended Discord.” Lyra added.

Berry shook her head. “Not likely. I'd put my bits on Rainbow. Fluttershy can't handle griffins. Way too intense. Trust me, I was there.”

The dragon blushed a bit and kicked the ground.

“Anyway, that aside, I … I still don't like it. But at least I finally understand what you did, and why. And … I'll trust you.” Bon-Bon said begrudgingly. “I still have to report all of this to Princess Twilight, but at least she'll understand.”

“Then it's settled! We'll leave it all in your hooves Zecora. Take care of him.” Colgate beamed.

Zecora smiled even more, and with what may have been a tear in her eye said, “Come with me little dragon kin. A new life, you have to begin...” She turned around and walked off of the platform.

The dragon looked around at the ponies around her. Tears in her eyes. “Thank you! Thank you all so much!” and with that, she chased after the Zebra who would give he-him, a new life...

Author's Note

A few thoughts:

One, for those of you who have followed this story as I've been posting it, I must apologize for the delay. You see, I wanted this section to be . . . special. Though, a desire for such does little to mitigate such a long delay (that is, I an't got no good excuses!).

Two, For those who are curious: this came out to be 26 pages in the format and program I used to write it.

Three, you may have noticed an event that was rather similar in nature to another that recently happened in the show. Comically enough, I had said bit written before said event aired. And, being one to avidly avoid spoilers, I had no idea that such an event was coming. Therefore, as I watched it happen, I could only sit there and chuckle. So, for better or worse, it just so happened that my thunder was stolen (and what a mighty theft it was! Did you see that episode? IT WAS AWE-*ahem*-I mean, it was lovely).

And Four, if Bon-Bon were real, she would ask me to take those rocks out of her bags, and remind everypony that she has never been, and currently is not, a commando.

If you say so Bon-Bon. If you say so...

Chapter Two: Part Twenty

Chapter Two: Part Twenty

Colgate let out a breath. After everything that's happened, it sure felt good to lie down under the stars again. She was laying on her back with eyes to the heavens. She listened to the sounds of the popping fire nearby. She turned her head to look at it. It was no longer in its prime. Not quite dying, but not roaring with life either. If one wanted, it would be easy to get it back to full size once more, but the night had worn on, and the time for such things had passed. Now was the time to simply let it slowly burn out. She idly stared into the lively embers, and wondered just how much more they would have to go through just for that toothbrush. Granted, the toothbrush would be enough to finally put an end to Berry's breath of unholy horrors, but was that alone enough to merit everything they've gone through? Not only that, they still had a swamp to head through. She shuttered a bit at the thought. What in Equestria was waiting for them there? Giant frog kings? Lumps of moss that wanted little kisses? A living black hole that just wanted a hug? A small smile cracked across her face. That was simply silly. Then again …, she looked up once more. Who would have guessed a giant Pinkie, and a cute mark stealing griffin, to be things that could exist? Not to mention zebras and dragons and ponies and oh my! She let out a small sigh as she rolled the events of the day over in her head.

*****

First, there was the appearance of Twilight. Not long after Zecora left with that adorable little dragon in tow (she-erm-he? even tripped on the way out and landed flat on his/her face!), the princess showed up and demanded to know what happened. Well, demanded wasn't quite the right word, but she was pretty eager to know why a giant maw of madness had suddenly rent the skies asunder. Not to mention the explosions she had heard not long before it. Colgate had opened her mouth to explain the insanity as best as she could, but Bon-Bon pipped up before Colgate could even finish saying her first word. With shocking honesty and straight-forwardness Bon-Bon told her everything. What surprised Colgate even more was how completely flat and dry Bon-Bon managed to make it all sound. Twilight listened with intense interest, apparently not bothered in the least with the large amounts of inane details and lack of any good story-telling. She had managed to make it so boring, that Colgate actually zoned out and found herself daydreaming. A pity, really. Had she been paying attention, she would have caught all sorts of interesting tid-bits about Bon-Bon's and Lyra's jobs that she hadn't been told. But, as it was, she missed the whole thing, and had actually fallen asleep when she suddenly realized that she was being spoken to.

“Um, Colgate?” came a concerned voice.

“Herrggg urggg?” was Colgate's most intelligible reply (there were others, but that one was the one that made the most sense).

“Wake up!” Bon-Bon shouted.

Colgate's head shot up and her eyes popped open. She looked around in shock and suddenly realized that there were three ponies staring at her. She also noticed that her chin was a bit moist and that there was a small puddle on the floor where her head had been laying.

“I-uh, Yeah! And then the cat got it with the salad!” Colgate answered.

“Huh?” Twilight asked, her face full of confusion.

Colgate blinked a couple of times. “I, uh, sorry, what was the question again?” She looked between the three sets of eyes looking at her. There was one set missing. Where was Berry?

A sudden, and very loud, snore from near her answered her question.

“Are you okay?” Twilight asked.

“Y-your Highness!” Colgate's sense of propriety and decorum suddenly came back to her and she shot straight to her hooves and bowed, causing Twilight's eyes to shoot open in surprise.

“Please, just call me Twilight. Please?” she almost pleaded. “To be honest, I've kinda had my fill of royal treatment recently. It would be nice to just be regular old 'Twilight' for a little bit.”

“Uh, okay. Sure.” Colgate was a little confused. Near as she could tell, being a princess was a great thing, and the idea that Twilight wouldn't want to be treated as one didn't make much sense. However, she considered herself something of a friend to her, so she would at least respect her wishes.

Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks. So, are you okay? Both you and Berry just, well, fell asleep. You guys must be so tired after everything that's happened.”

Colgate thought about that. Then it hit her like a mighty buffalo. Her whole body ached and her head felt all kinds of weird. She suddenly wasn't even sure if everything that had happened had actually happened. It all felt too strange, too bizarre; until she thought of some of the calamities that poor Ponyville had been hit with. Then suddenly it all didn't seem so weird anymore. Even so, it was all very strange to take in.

“I, I think so. I'm a little tired I think.” Colgate said, her eyelids gaining a bit of weight.

“Can you walk? Need any help?”

Colgate shook her head. “No, I'll be fine. Thank you princess.”

“So, why exactly are you guys out here?” Twilight inquired.

“Wait, didn't Bon-Bon tell you?” Colgate pointed a hoof at her.

“Yes, but I want to hear your side of it.” Twilight explained.

Colgate begun at the very beginning. She started with visiting Berry's house, told her everything that had happened in the crater after the battle with Pinkie, and she ended with Bon-Bon waking her up. From time to time Lyra or Bon-Bon would speak up and add a detail or embellish a fact, though Lyra did most of the embellishing … most of it. Twilight, for her part, had sat down and simply listened. Occasionally she would interrupt to ask for a bit of clarification, but for the most part had quietly sat there. When Colgate had finished, Twilight put a hoof to her chin to think.

“So, let me get this straight. You say that this griffin, who is now with Zecora, had a cloth that you and he burned that stole cutie marks? And you mean to tell me that you saw Bon-Bon absorb dozens of them?” She asked, raising an eyebrow out of curiosity.

“Well,” she paused, “Pretty much.”

“I see.” Twilight mumbled. “And you said that you're hunting for The Lost Toothbrush of The Royal Sisters so you can finally get rid of Berry's bad breath?” she asked, looking at the very much asleep form of Berry.

Colgate looked at Berry as well. She was curled up, with her face buried into the end of her tail. Colgate had actually expected to see her sprawled open and lying on her back; that's how she normally slept. She only ever curled up like this when she was really, and truly exhausted. Colgate wasn't sure why, but she did have to admit, she did look kinda adorable all curled up like that. Now that she thought on it, perhaps that cuteness was a natural defense mechanism to prevent other ponies from waking her up. If that was so, it was effective.

“Yeah.” Colgate answered simply.

“Why?” Twilight looked at her quizzically.

“Well...” Colgate paused for a moment, unsure if she should tell. It was actually kind of embarrassing for Berry. You see, everypony in Ponvyville (as well as a few other places) knew about Berry's bad breath. What they didn't know was that her breath was so bad that it actually melted any toothbrush she tried to use (or any piece of dental equipment for that matter, as Colgate found out one very expensive afternoon). While Colgate found this quite fascinating (and a bit horrifying), Berry found it to be rather embarrassing, if not a little humiliating. “I, uh...” her eyes shifted a bit from side to side, and she began to rub one foreleg with the other.

Twilight, getting the hint, smiled slightly. “It's okay. You don't have to tell me. If you two have been through this much trouble for it, it must really be important to you.” She then paused for a moment. “And you two,” she looked between Lyra and Bon-Bon, who were standing to either side of her at this point, “Why are you two here?”

They looked at her, a bit surprised at the question, then at each other. “Well,” Bon-Bon began, “I was mostly following her.” she answered, pointing at Lyra.

“And I was following Colgate and Berry mostly for the fun of it.” Lyra shrugged.

“WAIT, WHAT?!” Bon-Bon roared.

“What, you didn't know?” Lyra said, looking at her.

“NO! YOU TOLD ME IT WAS BECAUSE WE NEEDED TO GET THAT DRINK OUT OF BERRY'S HOOVES!” Bon-Bon bellowed.

“When did I say that?” Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow.

“RIGHT AFTER THEY LEFT PONYVILLE! YOU TOLD ME THAT WE NEEDED TO FOLLOW THEM AND TO MAKE SURE THAT DRINK DIDN'T FALL INTO THE WRONG HOOVES!” Bon-Bon screamed, the veins on her face, neck, and forehead all pounding and protruding like there was no tomorrow.

“Oh yeah, I did say that, didn't I?” Lyra said, putting a hoof to her chin and looking up at the ceiling. “Uh, well...” she suddenly looked rather nervous, “um … uh … ha, ha? The joke's on you?” she said, laughing awkwardly.

“LYRA HEARTSTRINGS, WHEN I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU-” Bon-Bon began.

“Bon-Bon, please, calm down.” Twilight said. Bon-Bon looked at her, an inferno raging in her eyes, and smoke shooting out of her nostrils and ears. Twilight recoiled a bit at the sight. Bon-Bon began to take deep breaths and the fiery depths of her burning hatred began to cool down.

“Y-Yes, Twilight...” she breathed.

“Now then, what's this about you absorbing dozens of cutie marks?”

“With all due respect Princess Twilight, you should ask Princess Celestia about that.” Lyra suddenly said, with a formality and urgency that caught Colgate, Bon-Bon, and Twilight all completely by surprise.

“What?” Twilight said, a bit dumbfounded.

“I'm afraid I can't discuss this matter in public. That's all I'm allowed to say.” Lyra said, her face even and rather serious. In all honesty, Colgate had no idea Lyra could be like this.

Twilight, a bit stunned, looked between Lyra and Bon-Bon. Bon-Bon's face was much like Twilight's. “W-what are you talking about Lyra?” Bon-Bon said, suddenly a bit nervous.

Lyra simply shook her head. “I'm afraid I can't discuss this in public. You'll have to ask Princess Celestia.”

Both ponies looked at her, jaws agape. “O-okay then...” Twilight finally said, “I, uh, guess I'll ask her about it. So...” she turned back to Colgate, “would you girls like some help looking for this thing? From the sounds of it, you could use all the help you could get.”

Bon-Bon held up a hoof in protest, “But, Princess-”

“Twilight, please.”

“Princess Twilight,” Twilight facehoofed as Bon-Bon continued, “You're under royal orders to be on vacation, correct?”

Twilight thought for a moment. “Well, that is true. But I could always ask my frie-”

“Princess Twilight Sparkle!” twin voices boomed as the air suddenly filled with the crack and sizzle of teleportaion magic. Behind Twilight, about half-way across the room, Colgate suddenly saw two unicorn guards appear. “By order of the Royal Counsel, you are to return to your vacation, immediately!”

Twilight turned around quickly, and looked right at them. “Wait, right now?!”

“Yes!” the two guards boomed, their voices echoing through the air and the gully (or what was left of it).

“Like, right now, right now?!”

“Yes! Right now, right now!”

“But I'm in the middle of something important! Can't you wai-”

“No! The Royal Counsel gave us authorization to escort you directly back to Vanhoover immediately! Now please, come along!” they boomed with even more booming boom.

“Well, at least let me finish talking to my friends here.” She said, turning back to the four now very awake ponies.

“I'm afraid the order was to take you in-erm-escort you without delay!” They saluted confidentially, as both of their horns began to glow.

“Ahhh!” Twilight let out a startled cry as she was suddenly wrapped in magic. “Lyra! Bon-Bon! Hel-”

And in a flash, Twilight was gone.

The two guards saluted once more. “Operative Heartstrings, Operative Bon. You have new orders!” one of them said, his voice not quite as booming as before. Both Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged a shocked/surprised look, then saluted back at the guard. “Your orders are to assist Ms. Colgate and Ms. Punch with their mission to retrieve The Legendary Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters! This order is effective immediately!” And, with that, their horns let out a bright flash, and they were there no more.

*****

Colgate rolled over. Did that mean that she and Berry were under orders too? And what in Equestria was Lyra keeping from them? Why did those guard ponies call them 'operatives'? She didn't like that there were even more secrets that they were keeping from her and Berry. Still, ponies are entitled to their secrets, right?

And not only that, from the sounds of it, they would have to go about it alone. Goodness knows that Colgate would have loved to have Twilight helping them. What about her friends? She could always ask them for help, right?

She thought about each of them, and, in turn, thought about how each one would be fantastic to have. There was Applejack. She was strong, and had a good head on her shoulders. She'd be great for being able to talk things through. Next was Fluttershy. Colgate giggled. She didn't know Fluttershy very well, but she always seemed so nice. And she always had a way with animals. Colgate bet that she'd be great for walking through a swamp with, provided she could muster the courage to do it. Pinkie Pie would certainly keep things in high spirits, though Colgate admitted that things would be a little awkward considering recent events (not that would bother Pinkie Pie in the least of course). Rainbow Dash would be rather helpful to have along. Her never ending bravery (if not brashness) would help Colgate be able to keep moving forward. Not to mention her ability to fly (and hopefully pull them out of any sinkholes they might step into). Rarity however, might not be as helpful. But that was mostly because Colgate was pretty sure Rarity would sooner roll around in cow pies then set hoof into a swamp. Though, she admitted, she's probably not giving the girl enough credit.

So, from the sounds of it, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Now, if only there was a way to get a message to them! She let out a painful groan. They seemed so far away. They were at least two days walking (as Colgate assumed that the teleporter was destroyed in all of the chaos) and roughly a day's (or so) train ride away. Well, perhaps Twilight could get a message to them. She found the four of them after all, so it shouldn't be too hard for her to tell her friends how to get here. Then again, those guards seemed awfully serious. Would they even let her send a message to her friends? Colgate giggled. Of course they would. It would be silly if they didn't!

*****

It took a few hours after all that happened for the questions to begin. Prior to that, the little group had simply left the gully, only talking to discuss where they should set up camp for the night (while the gully would have been fine, only Lyra liked the idea of staying there. The rest of them didn't like the idea one bit. After all, they did just enjoy a fair bit of danger there). They had also had a short talk with the remaining ponies in the observation deck, in which the four of them had decided that there was nothing else they could do. Colgate felt rather bad for just simply leaving them there, but Bon-Bon had been right. There wasn't much the four of them could do. The dragons had left (and had even apologized for what they had done, much to everypony's surprise. When asked why, they had simply pointed at Bon-Bon), and all the ponies had gotten their talents back. Even the Pegasus Ponies in the observation deck had simply waved good bye and flown off. So, the four of them had left.

They walked for a good while, the only sounds being the soft crunch of the cracked dirt under their hooves. When they started, it was roughly mid afternoon. It wasn't until the sun had begun to set and turn everything orange that somepony had finally said something.

“Colgate?” Berry softly asked.

Colgate looked over at her. They had been following Bon-Bon, as she knew how to get to the swamp from the gully (though she was a bit tight-lipped as to how and why she knew that). Colgate remained silent for a moment, pausing to appreciate the beauty of the sunset and the feeling that silence had finally been broken. She then let out a tired sigh (with the hint of a smile), and spoke, her voice sounding almost strange in her ears after such a long silence, “What's up Berry?”

“I,” she paused a moment herself, and looked down at the ground. She sighed, “I wanted to say that, I'm sorry.”

Colgate cocked her head slightly in confusion. “Sorry for what?”

“Well, I-” Berry paused once more, her voice catching, “I broke my promise to you.”

Colgate's brow furrowed as she tried to recall what Berry was talking about. “I can't … I'm sorry, Berry. Which promise?” She hadn't meant it to sound like she was insinuating that Berry had a habit of breaking promises, but … she totally had a history of breaking promises. Though, to her credit, she kept her promises more often then when she broke them. And she rarely ever broke them on purpose. So, for the most part, Berry was usually pretty trustworthy … provided she wasn't too wasted.

Berry looked at her, rather surprised. “I promised you that I wouldn't drink that thing again, remember? It was right after the whole thing at the castle. You knocked me over and shouted in my face.” Colgate blinked several times, still not quite recalling. “I was still a stallion?”

Then the bells rang. And they rang hard. “Oh wow, you're totally right! I, I forgot. I'm sorry Berry!”

Berry shook her head, “It's alright. Anyway, I'm sorry. I broke my promise. After I saw that griffin take you, I...” she paused, almost not able to say what came next, “I tired to throw the bottle away. I really did! But, I drank it. I drank the whole thing...” she dropped her head low, and Colgate thought she could see tears forming around the bottom of her now-shut-eyes.

“Good thing too.” Bon-Bon suddenly said, prompting a surprised response from both Berry and Colgate. “If she hadn't, your rescue would have been impossible.” The two of them looked at each other, then at Bon-Bon, who was looking back at Berry. “Sorry, I shouldn't butt in.” She turned her head around and looked ahead.

“Wait, what happened?” Colgate asked, looking at Berry.

“She basically destroyed one of the passenger cars trying to rescue you.” Bon-Bon said.

Berry's flushed and her face filled with a crimson mix of shame and shock. “I-I...”

“Wait, wait. Let's start over. Berry, why did you drink it?” Colgate asked.

Berry looked once more to the ground, “Because I was scared. And I knew that if I did, that … that I might...”

“Be able to help?” Colgate ventured. Berry simply nodded. “Berry, I forgive you. I always have. I know that you never mean to break your word, most of the time. And, in this case, I think...” Colgate paused, not wanting to say what she wanted to say next. “I think you did the … right … thing. Well, I don't know if it was the 'right' thing, but I think you did the best thing that anypony could have done.”

“But, you said that you were scared, and mad at me!” Berry objected. This time, Colgate's head dropped. It was true. Now that she thought on it, she had screamed right in Berry's face. Not to mention cried and pleaded and told Berry just how scared she had been. The whole thing at that castle had been too much, and she had taken it all out on Berry. And even this whole thing had been a major overload, but at least this time she had several hours to sort it all out.

“I know. Look, Berry, I have to say I'm sorry too.”

“Why? You didn't do anything wrong.” Berry said, confused, and still not far from tears.

“Yes I did. I couldn't handle was was going on when I did all of that, so I took it all out on you. I was scared, confused, and I didn't know how to deal with it all. So … I let it all out on you.” It was now time for Colgate to close her eyes and feel the sting of tears in her eyes. “I feel awful, simply awful. I made you make a promise because I was scared. And I'm sorry...”

“Colgate...” Berry said, reaching out a sympathetic hoof.

“No! I put us all in danger!” Colgate suddenly bat Berry's hoof away as unbridled guilt flooded her. “All of this happened because I was selfish! I was the one who made us leave Ponyville! I was the one who made us stop at the castle! And if it wasn't for me, we would have never had to deal with these awful bandits! It's all my fault!” Colgate cried, as she fell to the ground and covered her weeping eyes.

*****

Bon-Bon and Lyra exchanged worried glances as shades of Berry's breakdown passed over their eyes.

“Lyra, let's set up camp here. I think it would be best if-” Bon-Bon began.

“-we let them work this out?” Lyra finished. Bon-Bon nodded. “Yeah, I think you're right. I'll go see if I can find some firewood or something.”

“I'll set up camp.” Bon-Bon said, more to herself than anypony else, as Lyra headed off.

*****

As Colgate sat there, weeping, Berry's own mind began racing. What just happened? She was the one to blame for all of this, not Colgate! If anything, Colgate's the one that she should be apologizing to! Berry's mind was in a bit of a fog. Still, on some level, she understood what was going through Colgate's mind. She understood all too well the feeling of blaming oneself, despite whether or not one was actually at fault. She knew well the crushing guilt that poor Colgate was feeling. And, she knew there was only one thing to do about it.

Take a drink.

But Berry refused her impulse. Yes, Colgate had forced her to make that promise, but even Berry realized that Colgate was right. Not just about the brew that Berry now seemed stuck with (which, at her thought, conveniently popped into existence right next to her hoof [she glared at it and gave it a good kick]), but her life in general.

“Colgate,” Berry began, “it's alright. None of what happened was your fault.” She laid on the ground in front of Colgate, and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Look, you're only trying to help. And nopony's perfect, but your heart is in the right place. You didn't know that getting the toothbrush would be so dangerous, and neither did I. And even if I did … if we did, I'd still want to do it! And I'd still want to do it with you!”

Colgate stopped crying for a moment, and peeked at Berry through her forelegs, “W-why?” she sniffed.

“Because you're my best friend!” Berry smiled. “And this is really important to me, and you. Colgate, I know now why you really want me to get this thing. You just want me to be happy, and I can't be happy if I don't change. I mean, the toothbrush won't be the fix-all that changes everything, but it's the first step, right?” Colgate meekly nodded. “To be honest, if I had known that this would be so dangerous, I woulda asked more ponies to help out, but I still wouldn't want anypony else by my side. So...” Berry paused a moment, “Thank you Colgate. Thank you for everything. Even if we don't find the brush, at least you've helped me finally see why I needed to change. And that, more than anything, has made this trip worth it. So, thank you.”

*****

There were times Colgate hated Berry. Particularly when Colgate wanted to feel terrible. Granted, she never really WANTED to feel bad, but you know, there are times when one just wants to wallow in guilt and sadness as penance for one's wrongdoings. But Berry was one of those ponies who simply wouldn't have any of that. Oh no, she was one of those ponies who breaks down the door, throws open the windows, tears off the blinds, and drags you out of the house and into the bright, happy sunshine; all to cheer you up (the one day, the ONE DAY, Colgate finally let herself have a few too many cocktails, Berry did exactly that. Those were expensive blinds too!).

And this was one of those times.

And that was exactly why Colgate liked Berry so much. Well, okay, one of the reasons. Berry was actually a ton of fun to be around, and an excellent host. And, if she had only a few drinks (that is, before noon), she was lovely to talk to. Truth be told, she was an awesome pony to know. And she was the pony that Colgate needed at that moment more than any other. And this was the very reason why Colgate did what she did.

She hugged her. She hugged her and refused to let go. And she hugged her back.

*****

So. Much. Hugging.

That's what was passing through Lyra's mind when she got back. Her haul had been pretty decent, what with finding what must have been somepony's old stash (the poor chap, though neither he nor Lyra knew that she had run off with it before he was done with it) of firewood. It was even chopped up and sorted into nice piles by size and type of wood (though that was more by chance then choice, as the maker of said piles was woefully undereducated on the subject of tree biology). That aside, Lyra's eye were wide when she saw the two of them hugging like that. It also conjured conflicting feelings. On the one hoof, it brought a small tear to her eye, and made her want to join. On the other, she knew that hug was meant for two.

So, doing her best to ignore the two of them, she walked over to where Bon-Bon was busy finishing up their camping sight. She dropped the wood pile next to the fire pit Bon-Bon had made, and began placing small sticks into the pit itself.

“Sooo,” Lyra began, as she struck a match (one of the many provisions Bon-Bon had [more or less] purchased from Dodge before they left) and began a small fire, “how long have those two been like that?”

“For some time.” Bon-Bon shrugged. “I stopped paying attention after it became clear that they weren't gong to move anytime soon.”

“Do you think we should do something?” Lyra asked as she carefully placed a few slightly larger sticks on the budding fire.

“Like what?” Bon-Bon looked at her with an inquisitive look.

“I dunno. Pull them apart?” Lyra shrugged.

“Why?”

Lyra blew slightly on the base of the fire to give it a bit of a boost, “I dunno. I mean, what if they fall asleep like that? I mean, falling asleep while sitting up like that doesn’t feel good come morning, I can tell ya that.” The fire was coming along nicely, which fact pleased Lyra.

“No, I think they'll stop soon enough. Besides, they've had a tough couple of days.” Bon-Bon said, casting glance at the two.

“Wait wait wait wait, what did you just say?” Lyra asked, one half surprised, one half rather pleased.

“I said I think they've had a rough couple of days, so we should just let them be.” Bon-Bon shrugged.

Lyra cracked a huge grin. “Bon-Bon, was that,” she paused, her grin becoming slightly devious, “sentiment I just heard?”

Bon-Bon blushed slightly, then gained an indignant look. “W-what? N-no! I'm just thinking practically, that's all! They need some rest, and they won't be going any further like that.” Bon-Bon nodded firmly, then let out a sigh.

“Uh huh, and that's all there is to it?” Lyra asked, not buying it, but clearly amused.

Bon-Bon's blush disappeared as she looked once more at the two hugging friends. “You know, I think I finally get what Princes Twi-” she paused, “Twilight and her friends have. I mean, I never really got it before. But, looking at how those two have been acting through all of this, I think I finally get it. I mean, you and I go way back, but our relationship is, well, different.”

“Well, when you've been assigned to spend all your time with another pony, I guess that kinda affects how you look at things like friendship.” Lyra mused.

“How long has it been Lyra? Feels like forever.” Bon-Bon said, looking off into the distance.

“At least 7 or 8 years, if not 10.” Lyra said. It had actually been 12 years, but Lyra knew that Bon-Bon wouldn't know about, or at least remember, the first two years they knew each other. Then again, that was a very different Bon-Bon.

“Lyra,” Bon-Bon's tone suddenly got serious, making Lyra suddenly a little nervous, “what happened to me? Why did all of those cutie marks fly into me?”

Lyra knew this was coming. She had been filled with dread ever since they left Deadmare Gully. Despite all of her training, her oaths of silence, and conditioning, she knew that saying no to Bon-Bon might prove to be too much for her to do. “Bon-Bon, I...” Lyra trailed off. She didn't what to say what she was supposed to.

“Lyra,” Bon-Bon's tone changed slightly, she was still serious, but there was an understanding in her voice, “I understand. You're under orders to not say anything, and you've always been good at keeping your word, but...” Bon-Bon shook her head slightly. “I just … this is personal. I mean, You've been there, with me, since the very beginning. And I respect you and your job. But...”

Lyra could see the conflict in Bon-Bon's face. She really wanted to know what happened, if not why, but she also understood that it was important that Lyra say nothing. Well, she understood that is was important, but not quite how important it was. After all, they were both professionals, and both of them had been sworn to many a secret. But this particular secret was, well, Lyra had been taken to a separate chamber and, under the words of the Princess Celesita herself, swore that she would never speak about it. The only pony that was allowed to, was the Princess herself (and later Princess Luna, as well as Princess Cadence as Lyra found out one costumed-covered night in Ponyville [that was a rather awkward conversation, as Princess Luna didn't know who she was at first {she almost got thrown in prison for mentioning it (It was, or rather, is, an important secret after all)!}]).

“Bon-Bon, you'll have to ask The Princess about that...” Lyra almost said. Almost. What came out was a bit different, and made Bon-Bon's eyes shoot open, and her head to suddenly jerk and look at Lyra. What she said was: “Bon-Bon, you're not the pony you think you are, in fact, you're not even a real pony...”

Lyra had said that with a tone that was far too casual for such a statement. In fact, she had shrugged as if to say, 'no big deal', or some such thing as she said it. One would think that something as serious as that would merit a bit more reverence, but, sadly, Lyra and reverence didn't always come hoof-and-hoof. Still, perhaps it was this very lack of reverence that caused Bon-Bon's reaction to be surprisingly calm. Not that it was the very definition thereof, but it was much more so then one would have expected.

“L-Lyra, what are you talking about?” Bon-Bon asked, her voice unsteady, with a fair bit of fear in it.

Lyra's eyes shot open in surprise. Did she really just say that to Bon-Bon? Oh no, this was not good. Nope, nope, nope. This was very, very, very, very bad. How bad one might ask? Bad enough for Lyra to suddenly be very, very afraid of what might happen if Princess Celestia found out she just said that.

“Uh, well, I mean, you are. That is, you are a pony,” Lyra said attempting to cover her tracks with an awkward smile, “just … well … I mean...” Lyra had to choose her next words very carefully. “You're just not a pony in the traditional sense...” Well, THAT certainly wasn't the wisest thing she could have said.

“Lyra...” Bon-Bon's voice was rather shaky, but Lyra could tell she was trying her best to keep it together, “please...” despite Bon-Bon's best efforts, Lyra could see tears beginning to form in her eyes. “I-I need to know, what are you talking about?”

Lyra bit her bottom lip. She had just messed up, big. What could she do? What should she do? Should she just tell her? No, she wouldn't do that. However, there was one thing she could tell her... “Bon-Bon, do you remember when we first met?”

She seemed taken aback by the question. “Wha? Why are you asking that?”

“Do you remember?”

Bon-Bon shook her head. “No, not really. I remember...” she trailed off, trying to remember something.

“Well,” Lyra began, “to be honest, you can't. That part of you...” Lyra braced herself, for she was not expecting this to end pretty, “That part of you, the part before we, um, 'first met', well … it doesn't exist anymore. I mean, it does, but I knew you before we 'first met', and that Bon-Bon, the Bon-Bon I knew then, doesn't really exist anymore.”

To say that Bon-Bon's face was confused (as well as scared) would be a bit of an understatement. “W-Wha-”

“What do I mean when I say that?” Lyra finished for her. “Look, I won't, and can't, say much more. Just that you're not really the Bon-Bon that you think you are … or were...”

Bon-Bon swallowed hard. Lyra knew what was going on through her head. She knew Bon-Bon wanted answers. Lyra couldn't blame her. However, more then she, Bon-Bon knew well the importance of keeping one's mouth shut when one's job demanded it. It was a terrible struggle, and Lyra could read each moment of it on her face. Finally, Bon-Bon asked, with great difficulty: “What should I say to Princess Celestia?”

“Tell her...” what to say to her? That Lyra screwed up? That the biggest secret she had ever been entrusted to keep just slipped out? That she had just one job, JUST ONE JOB, and she- “Tell her: You no longer remember our first meeting, or that you can't recall...” Lyra had hoped that she would never have had to say these words to Bon-Bon, “That you can't recall the details of your birth.” Lyra winced as she said that.

“I don't under-” Bon-Bon began, but stopped when something dawned on her, “I see. It's a code phrase, isn't it?” Lyra nodded. “I see. Very well. I shall send a report as soon as I can, and I will say just that.” Bon-Bon's professional demeanor came back, and Lyra felt a bit of regret that Bon-Bon was forced to bury her feelings. Still, they were both professionals, and they both understood the price that said (part-time) profession came with.

Still, Lyra was glad that was over with, for now. She knew Bon-Bon would never bring it up again, but she knew that the Princess would have a few words for her, if not a dungeon cell or two. It was a pretty big secret. Big enough that Lyra had even spoken out of line when she had been told about it. She had objected to it, and thought the whole plan far too risky. But still, she was in no position to argue, and The Princess had brought up a really good point.

Lyra shook her head. It was a good idea to stop thinking about it, or else something else might slip out. “But yeah, it's been awhile, hasn't it?” Lyra said with a bit of a grin.

Bon-Bon's lack of enthusiasm killed it. It was clear that she was not in the mood for such talk anymore. Lyra let out a sigh. It was a shame. Lyra actually rather liked reminiscing, and she and Bon-Bon had a lot to reminisce about. She turned to the now dying fire. In their talk, she had kinda forgotten about it, and it was nearly dead. Calmly, she picked up some small sticks, stacked them carefully over the embers, and blew gently.

*****

That was one long hug, but they had both needed it. They had both needed to know that the other had been there for the other, and that they both were going to be there come what may. They both needed to say so much to the other, but neither quite had the words. And where words failed, friendship filled the silence. Goodness knows that life ain't easy, but it's much easier when you have somepony you can share that with.

Though, to be brutally honest, Colgate coulda done without the slight whiffs of Berry's breath that she got from time to time. It didn't kill the mood per-say, but it didn't exactly help either. Still, after all this was over, hopefully such things would be a thing of the past.

At least, she sure hoped so. Colgate looked over at the sleeping form of Berry. She had been right. The whole reason they were doing this was because Colgate had seen how unhappy Berry was, and wanted to help change that. She knew that one magical toothbrush wasn't going to change everything at once, but like Berry had said, it would be a step in the right direction.

She smiled. As the events continued to roll along in her head, she thought of the conversation she and Berry had after that very, very long hug...

*****

As they let go of each other, they held each others hooves and smiled. They then let go, and stood up. Berry looked over to where Bon-Bon and Lyra sat, both staring into a campfire. “So, I guess we're camping for the night?”

“I guess so.” Colgate replied.

“So, I guess we're both sorry for everything, huh?” Berry giggled slightly.

Colgate smiled despite herself, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“So, wanna know what happened?” Berry asked, somewhat excited to relay the tale. After all, it wasn't everyday she got to be a badflank!

“Sure. So, what happened?” Colgate asked as the two of them picked their resting spots for the night. Berry didn't know how Bon-Bon and Lyra did it, but somehow they always knew how to make sleeping on the ground only mildly uncomfortable.

“Well, let me tell you...” Berry began. She wasn't the best storyteller in Equestria, but she knew how to tell an entertaining story. After all, having a skill like that was invaluable at parties! Though, it was a bit harder without having 'primed' herself as it were. Still, she loved to spin a good tale, and she skipped no detail as she told Colgate all about how she had been yanked out of a window, or how they had made a train fly through the air, or how she had run for hours straight without even feeling tired. At first, she had been a bit self-conscious about her being a stallion (and the destruction she had caused while like that), but as she got swept up in her tale she found herself describing the experience almost like a superhero transformation, and she didn't stop when they met up with Colgate. Oh no, she kept on going. She described in heroic detail their brave rescue of her, only to have her whisked away from under their hooves! She recalled the long journey back to Dodge, and their reunion with Lyra. With grand overtures and gestures she told of how they had been ambushed by Cherry Jubilee’s army and how Lyra, master negotiator that she was, not only convinced them that they were friends, but to join forces in putting an end to the foul forces of the great, evil, pony-enslaving griffin! Colgate did have to admit, she did find that part impressive, though she did look at Lyra and Bon-Bon to see if they would react one way or the other to her claims. Oddly enough, the two of them simply sat there listening to Berry. Not a word was said. Not even when Berry began telling about the great battle upon the plains, nor did they react when they were ambushed by a songstress who's music wove magic most foul. So, Colgate had to more or less take it on her word. Though she couldn't help but notice that Berry had begun to take a few liberties when they had finally met up with her. After all, she didn't recall engaging in a personal duel with Cherry to prove who was worthy of leading her mighty army, while the very earth behind them erupted from the force of the mighty battle that raged in the treasure chamber. Thankfully, she finally took a breather when they had flown from a cave that higher then an armada of Pegasus Ponies could fly.

“I, uh, think we got it Berry. I was there for everything else.” Colgate said, raising a gentle hoof.

Berry's breath was cut short by that, and a pang of sadness hit as she realized that she wouldn't get to finish the story. Oh well, perhaps another time. Or, at least, it'll make for a great story for the next party she'll end up at! “So, yeah. I guess that pretty much sums it up.” Berry had been careful to omit the part where Bon-Bon had basically blown her and Lyra's cover. She realized that it had been a mistake, and figured that they were hoping that they could trust her to keep quiet about it (a hope that they did indeed have and, by the looks of it, a hope they had well placed).

“So, let me get this straight.” Colgate began, “You can just make that bottle appear out of nowhere? Just like that?”

Berry grimaced, but nodded. “Pretty much. I mean, I didn't know it could, or would do that. And I have no idea how it happens. I mean, I just kinda think about it, and-” **pop** “-it just kinda appears...” she looked down at it, it having appeared on the ground in front of her as she spoke.

Colgate looked at it curiously. “Is it getting easier and easier to do? I remember you kinda had to really think about it last time you did that.”

Berry thought about that. “I don't think so... You know, what I think it is, is it pops up when I'm not really thinking about it, but if I want it, then I kinda have to think really hard. I mean, I'm not a unicorn, so I have no idea how this summoning thing works. All I know is that I just have to think about it, and there it is.” She picked up the bottle and held it in the air for emphasis.

“Huh. And you said you don't get tired while you're a stallion?” Colgate asked, her face furrowed in thought.

“Doesn't look like it. I also feel really, really freaking strong, like, I could have lifted that train kind of strong.” It was mostly true. While like that, Berry felt a good bit more aggressive, as well as more of a prankster. And sure, she didn't really get tired while she was like that, but afterward, she felt dead on her hooves. As for feeling strong? Well, she didn't feel strong per-say, but she did recall that slamming the ground hard enough to make a train jump into the air seemed as easy as picking a flower or something like that. And if it was easy to do that, she could only wonder what else she could do...

No. She was not taking another drink of that thing so long as she liv-

“Berry, I think you should drink it.” Colgate said.

Berry's jaw dropped. “What?!”

“I don't like the idea, and I can't force you, but, to be honest, I think it would be a good idea.” Colgate said, looking at the ground, looking as though she had just eaten something sour.

“W-why? When?” Berry couldn't believe her ears. Sure she could see perhaps Bon-Bon or Lyra saying that, but Colgate?! If anything, shouldn't she be the one telling her to not drink it?

“Think about it. The past two places we've gone to have been really dangerous, right? And if it wasn't for the fact that you were a stallion, we might not have made it out okay. And we're about to head into a huge swamp. If our luck holds out, we'll need you to be a stallion more then ever! Not only that, now that I think about it, we'll need you two to take a drink as well.” She said, pointing at Bon-Bon and Lyra, who simply exchanged a glance with each other. “Lyra's ability to shapeshift and Bon-Bon being a commando-”

Bon-Bon let out a snort and rolled her eyes, “I've told you, and every other pony out there, I'm not a commando! I'm not one, nor have I ever been, and if I have any say in it, I never will be!”

“Uh, pretty sure you were one back in that gully.” Lyra said, “Just sayin'.” She cracked one of her famous grins as she pointed that out.

“Doesn't count!” Bon-Bon shot back, crossing her forelegs and giving an indignant snort.

“Uh huh, suuure.”

“Uh, anyway, with Bon-Bon becoming whatever that was, I think our best chances for getting through that swamp will happen if we bring everything we've got to it.” Colgate said, pointing a hoof at the bottle.

“I-that kinda makes sense...” Berry said. “But...” she did not want to be like that again. Colgate may have had a point in what she said, but the fact was, Berry didn't want anything to do with this horrible bottle anymore!

“You know, Lyra,” Colgate turned to her, “How did you know that Bon-Bon here would turn into that?”

Lyra simply chuckled. “I didn't!”

A gurgling noise suddenly erupted from Bon-Bon.

“Huh?” came both Colgate and Berry's response.

“I guessed that's what would have happened!” Her famous smile showed all of them just how white and clean the whole lot of her teeth were (Berry noticed that Colgate couldn't help but stare at them, her eyes wide in admiration). “That bottle makes you into the opposite of what you really want to be, right? So, since I know how much Bon-Bon here HATES,” she leaned in closer to the two of them, “(spoilers: she really, REALLY hates it!) being called a commando, and wished ponies would stop saying that about her, I figured the drink would turn her into one. And if I was wrong, well, I guess we'd all be cutie markless right about now.”

“You wagered our welfare on a guess?!” Bon-Bon said.

“Pretty much.” Lyra shrugged. “You have any better ideas?” Bon-Bon got quiet. “Sorry to have done that to ya, but I figured that it was our best chance out of that jam.”

“I suppose I can't blame you...” Bon-Bon said. “Still, forcing a drink into a pony's throat? That was reckless!”

“Bon-Bon, it's me we're talking about here.” Lyra said, casting a side glance at her.

Bon-Bon let out another snort, but said nothing more.

“So, wait, you're basically telling us all to get drunk off of a magical transformation brew before we walk into a dangerous swamp that's probably full of monsters?” Berry asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, when you put it like that...” Colgate said, trailing off.

“I agree.” Bon-Bon said, much to the surprise of everypony else. “Given that each of us, minus you Colgate, gains some kind of useful ability from this drink, it might indeed be a good idea if we use it to prepare for the worst. Not only that, I doubt we will be getting any back-up, so I think we'll need all of the help we can get.”

“So, are you saying that Colgate should take a drink as well?” Lyra asked.

Berry saw Colgate suddenly recoil at the idea. “You know, I think if we can avoid it, we should. I mean, we don't know what this thing really does, and I think it'd be best if we stuck to what we know, ya know?” Berry said.

“Aww, no fun.” Lyra kicked at the dirt.

“Fun is not something we need to consider right now. But I think that is also a valid point. Since we don't know how Colgate would react, we should avoid it, if at all possible. And if it should come to that, I think it would be best to do it in a controlled environment.” Bon-Bon explained.

“So, like right now?” Lyra said, rather hopeful.

Berry saw sweat beads form on Colgate's forehead. On the one hoof, she totally wanted Colgate to do it. She was dying to see what would happen. On the other... “Well, it's my drink, right? So I say, Colgate,” Berry turned to her, and with all the air and pomp of a selfish child said, “You're not allowed to drink it! Because it's mine and I say so!”

The relief on Colgate's face was instant, and made Berry feel good. “Thanks Berry.” she said.

“No problem.” Berry replied, with a smile.

“Spoil sport...” Lyra grumbled.

“So then, are we agreed? Are we going to head into the swamp under the drink's power?” Bon-Bon asked, looking between Berry and Lyra.

“I'm cool with it.” Lyra said.

Berry looked at the ground. “I-I need to think about it...”

“Alright. That's fine. If you don't want to, we're not going to force you.” Bon-Bon said. Berry smiled as she saw the other two nod in agreement (even if Lyra's face had 'Drink it!' written all over it). “That said, I think it would be best if we waited until we actually reach the swamp tomorrow. I don't see any point in drinking it right now.”

“That's boring, but makes sense.” Lyra said, lying down to fall asleep.

“Then it's agreed then?” Bon-Bon asked once more. All three of the other ponies nodded. “Good. On that note, good night everypony. We'll need it.”

“Not just yet Bon-Bon, Lyra.” Colgate said, “I want to ask you guys a question if I can.”

Both ponies looked at each other, then at Colgate. “Uh, sure, what's up?” Lyra asked.

“Why did those guard ponies call you guys 'operatives'? And what's this about you getting orders? And lastly, what happened to Bon-Bon back there?”

Welp, so much for Berry trying to keep what they told her under wraps. Oh well, at least she tried.

*****

She still couldn't believe that she had suggested that. Of all the ponies to say that, her? She sighed. Well, hopefully the bottle won't actually be necessary, and the four of them will be able to get through the swamp just fine. After all, seeing each of them like that was scary in its own way. Watching Bon-Bon single hoofedly battle 6 dragons, in addition to taking out a small army, was pretty scary. Awesome, but scary. And sure Lyra's transformation abilities came in hoofy, but it very was disconcerting to watch it happen. Not to mention actually seeing that really weirdly shaped thing she changed into was all kinds of offsetting. It was all rather unnerving to be honest about it.

Then there was Berry. Or rather … what name did she tell Zecora again? Oh yeah, Wheat Brew, or something like that. Berry being like that was the most disconcerting of all. Not only because her best friend became a dude, but the stallion of her dreams. Everything about Wheat was perfect. He was big, handsome, brave, and had such a magnificent coat. She even really liked his mane. Not only that, his voice was deep, and all kinds of coltly. Even his movements were memorizing. She could recall watching those mighty muscles moving, rippling, under his skin.

She shook her head. 'Get a grip!' she told herself. She had been under the influence of mind control before, and she could feel much the same kind of magic when she looked at Berry while she was like that. It was the drink playing games with her. It was the drink that made her look at him like that, right?

She slid her head along the ground to look at Lyra and Bon-Bon. While she was very happy to have those two along, what they had told her about being spies had very much unnerved her. Sure they were only part-time spies, but that didn't make the fact much better in Colgate's mind. Nor had the fact that they hadn't been fully honest with them. Though Colgate at least understood why. After all, one doesn't go around announcing one's profession when one's profession is a spy. Though, to their credit, they didn't tell her who they worked for, or exactly why they were ordered to assist them (not that they had any idea anyway). And when Colgate asked about what happened to Bon-Bon? Lyra simply shrugged and said 'You'll have to ask Princess Celestia about that.'

It wasn't long after the pause in the conversation that had caused, that the other three had finally fallen asleep. Colgate envied them. She wanted to fall asleep, but her mind was far too busy to allow that. Now, she did know a useful spell for putting ponies asleep (after all, it is much easier to yank teeth out of the head of a sleeping pony then it is an awake one), but it required a separate spell to awaken them. And since Colgate doubted that Lyra knew said spell, she felt it wise to not use it on herself (last time she did, she slept for three days straight. Though she did feel amazing after she finally woke up [we'll just ignore that fact that the only reason she ended up waking up was because Twilight learned the spell in order to pull poor Colgate out of her magical slumber!]!).

She also didn't want to fall asleep (well, okay, she did, but at the same time she didn't). So much had happened, and she wanted to sort it all out in her head. Hard to do while one was sleeping. She turned once more, this time back to the stars. She began to list the names of the constellations she could think of, but, alas, she could think of none.

And what about that map? Didn't somepony say something about it working like Berry's drink? Colgate couldn't quite recall. She placed one of her forelegs across her forehead. If it does, does that mean it changes ponies? Or was it that she could summon it? Was it basically indestructible? She didn't know. Then again, there were a lot of things she didn't understand about this trip.

“Hey, Colgate...” came a voice that she was very familiar with, and one that she shouldn't have been surprised to find still awake.

“What's up Berry?” Colgate asked, still looking up.

“So, you're not mad at me?”

Colgate yawned as fatigue finally began to set in. “Not at all.”

Colgate heard a happy sigh, “That's good. I was really worried that you would be.”

“I'm not. You're okay, and that's what matters most.”

“Thanks. And, well, I'm not mad at you either.”

Colgate sat up and looked at her confused. “Why would you be angry?”

Berry turned over to look at her. “Because you said that all of this was your fault, and because, like you said, you forced me to make a promise. We both know everything that's happened isn't your fault, and, I kinda get why you did it now.”

“So, you forgive me?” Colgate asked.

“Yeah. And, to be honest, I don't want to drink it again.”

Colgate let out a happy sigh, and laid down once more. “Thank you, Berry, that means a lot. But, I have to ask, why?”

There was a pause. “Because...” there was another pause, “Because I don't want to go through being a stallion again! I'm a mare and I'm happy just the way I am.”

Colgate smiled. She knew that wasn't the real reason. But it didn't matter. What did was that they finally put this whole thing behind them, and, if all went well, it would stay that way.

Sadly, fate, as it turns out, had other plans for poor, poor Berry...

Chapter Three: Swamps are for Lovers, Part One

Chapter Three: Swamps are for Lovers
Part One

One had to pity the good Doctor, for it seems as though luck, as of late, had decided to spit into his cereal. Or, more accurately: It gave him a lovely bowl, brimming with the most tasty, most marshmellowy, most sugar-rushing inducing cereal anypony could ever desire, then it filled the bowl with its salivations. You see, after wandering due south for one day, he learned something important that night. One: both hunger and thirst are things that come to a pony, particularly when they are wondering alone in a wasteland by themselves. And two: wastelands can become surprisingly cold at night, so one ought to make sure they've built a nice fire to keep themselves warm.

So, after his second day of wandering south, he did two things. One: he fed on any bits of grass he could find. Now, he did find some grass, but it was rather … crispy shall we say. Not to mention all of the dust. And Two: he sought high and low, low and high, highandlow, lowandhigh for wood. He dug and dug and dug as well as pulled, lifted, heaved, and even chopped (he had taken some Karate lessons as a young colt, so while his attempts at chopping wood were painful, it at least worked). He had even stopped a couple of hours early to give himself time for all of that.

And the one moment he wasn't looking, the ONE moment he just HAD to go find some water (which he did, after much, much digging), he came back to discover all of his hard earned wood was gone. Poof. Just like that. Every last piece. Not even a twig remained.

It was then that he cursed his fate once more. Waving angry hooves into the air, he wished more then anything that he had a horn, that he might be able to put his extensive knowledge of time travel to use. If only he could, then he could go back in time and not only solve the mystery of the missing firewood, but prevent it from being a mystery to begin with! Oh why, why was he born an Earth Pony?! Granted, there was nothing wrong with being an Earth Pony, but the fact was that he couldn't put his extensive studies to good use without the magic that unicorns have.

He let out a defeated sigh. At least he found food and water … and dust. He spat on the ground again. That stuff was still in his mouth. Oh well. At least he was making good time, if his calculations were correct. Not that he knew exactly where he was going. Nor was he sure if he was even going the right way. He just knew that he had a place that he was needed at. A place that required his expertise, and that alone was more then enough to drive him through this insane plan of simply walking south.

Now, you see, he was hoping that the Macintosh Hills were simply due south of Dodge, for just beyond them was his destination. What he didn't know was that they were south of Appleoosa, which, unbeknownst to him, was very much west of Dodge. So, in blissful ignorance, he wandered south.

At least, he thought he was heading south...

*****

The morning after was a late one for Colgate. Given that she was the last to fall asleep, it only made sense that she was last to awaken. Thankfully however, this time she did not awaken tied up, or in a cave, or under any other unpleasant circumstance. Rather, she simply woke up later than her other companions.

“Rise and shine Colgate.” Bon-Bon said.

Colgate looked around the camp. It was almost completely cleared by the time she had awoken. The only things that remained were her sleeping spot, and the fire pit. The other three were simply sitting around, with Bon-Bon looking at her and Berry and Lyra off to the side chatting idly with each other. “What time is it?” Colgate asked, looking around.

“Shouldn't you already know that?” Lyra said, turning her head and giving her a wink.

“My cutie mark is an Hourglass, not a sundial, thank you very much!” Colgate huffed.

“Okay, okay. Relax. Sorry I brought it up.” Lyra said, a bit surprised by her reaction.

“She didn't mean anything by it Colgate.” Berry said. “She didn't know.”

“Didn't know what?” Lyra asked, looking back at Berry.

“That I get asked about that all the time.” Colgate answered as she stood up, shaking the sleep from her head.

“What do you mean?” Bon-Bon asked.

Colgate didn't much like this topic. But it always came up. Ponies always wanted to know why a dentist had an hourglass for a cutie mark. Not only a dentist, but what was, by all signs, a prodigy of astronomy. “Look, I've already talked about this recently, and I don't want to talk about it again!”

“Hey, that's not fair!” Lyra objected, “You can't ask us all about us being spies and then just not tell us about this!”

Bon-Bon nodded, “She's got a poi-”

“That's totally different!” Colgate shook her head.

“I don't know Colgate...” Berry said.

“Not you too Berry! You know how much I hate talking about this!” Colgate pleaded.

“And do you think blowing our cover was fun for us?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an eyebrow (her good one, as the other was still defunct, and partly covered by the eye patch she still wore).

Lyra giggled softly. “You know, if she really does hate talking about it so much, we should make her take a sip of that drink. Bet she'd sing like a bird then.” Lyra said with a devious grin, that only grew bigger when Colgate shot her a look of daggers.

Colgate looked helplessly between the three of them. The only face that offered sympathy also told her that she needed to do this. She let out a sigh.

“Fine. Sorry if I'm repeating myself, but here goes.” She looked at the ground and shook her head. “Do you remember what it was like in Kindergarten? The only thing anypony talked about was their cutie marks, right? Who was gonna get it first, what's going to be? Stuff like that, right? Well...” she paused. “I never got to be a part of that. Got my cutie mark early, like really early. In fact, I was born with it.” She paused, waiting for the inevitable reaction. The shock, the awe, the endless questions of 'How is that possible?' or 'Were your parents proud?' or even, 'Are you sure? That's not possible!'

It didn't come. Rather, Bon-Bon simply sat there, and Lyra let out a low whistle. “That's kinda cool.” She said. Colgate heard that from time to time, and she kinda disagreed.

“Not really. See, the other fillies and colts all want one so bad, and when you walk into class with one already, they tend to kinda be jealous. The worse part was, I remember when the teacher asked me to explain what my special talent was...” Colgate trailed off. It was still hard to talk about. “I...”

“She said she didn't know.” Berry finished for her, and Colgate was glad that she did. That part, to this day, was the worst of it all.

“What happened?” Bon-Bon asked.

“If I know kids, they probably gasped, then laughed at her.” Lyra shrugged.

“Kinda,” Berry continued, “The teacher, who didn't know that you didn't know, right?” She looked at Colgate to make sure she had that right. Colgate nodded. “The teacher asked her how that was possible. She said she didn't know. Then the teacher asked her if she made hourglasses, she said she didn't. And it kinda went on like that for a bit, if I remember right.”

Colgate almost didn't hear Berry speaking. She was lost in the memory of that day. She remembered the confused and scared looks of the other fillies and colts. She remembered that her teacher looked confused at first, then skeptical. She remembered when the first pony shouted out 'It's a fake!' She remembered the laughter and the pointing and the looks and the-

“Colgate!” Berry's voice suddenly shouted into her ear.

She looked up and saw Berry's face right in front of hers. “I-I'm okay. I just, got lost.”

“You okay now?” Berry asked.

“Yeah. I can take it from here. Thanks Berry.” Berry nodded and stepped to the side. Colgate was very glad that there was another pony who could talk about this stuff. Simply thinking about it was hard enough. “So, yeah. From that day on, I was the outcast. I kinda had friends, but they didn't last long. They were all too scared of me. Too scared that they might become like me. That they might somehow get a cutie mark that didn't mean, or do, anything.”

“What about the teacher? Did they do nothing to help?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Well, I remember after that, she felt terrible. So she tried to help, but she was always kinda uncomfortable around me. Eventually, she kinda stopped.” Colgate said with another sigh. While it was true that Equestria was a land of love and peace, it was far from perfect. After all, it wasn't until she moved and started attending a different school that the teasing stopped.

“What happened? I mean, did it get worse?” Lyra asked.

“Well, it got to the point where we had to move. By that time, everypony was getting their cutie marks, so when I got to my new school, everypony thought it was kinda neat that I had mine for so long.” Colgate explained, her mood becoming lighter as she thought about her second school.

“So, nopony was bothered by the fact you were born with it? That's pretty sweet.” Lyra commented.

“Well, I never told them I was born with it. I just told everypony that I had gotten it while I was really young! So young, that I had completely forgotten what I had done to get it!” Colgate said with a winning smile. It was a smile she had used many times. She had found out that if she told that story right, and ended with that smile, then everypony would laugh and think it was really funny.

Bon-Bon giggled slightly, and Lyra chuckled once or twice. Looks like she's still got it! “So I take it that went over well?” Bon-Bon asked.

Colgate nodded, “Yep. It helped me make my first friends. I found out that laughter really was a good way to get ponies to open up and want to be friends with you. It didn't work with everypony, but I learned early on that you can't please everypony. That school was...” Colgate choked up for a second. Her heart flooded with warm memories of that class. Her old friends, all now moved and living their own lives, treated her with so much love, even after she finally told them the truth. They had grown to accept her, and even took it as a point of pride that she was so unique. After all, they had never heard of a pony that had been born with a cutie mark! Not to mention one who's talent seemed to have nothing to do with it!

She smiled as she remembered how they always supported her in her endeavors. They had gone stargazing with her, they had gone with her to her first dentists appointments (and she with them, for she had befriended the dentists and their staff right quick, and when she was there, they always treated her friends extra nice), as well as helped her through school. They were a tight-knit group. And it never bothered them that she was a dentist with an hourglass cutie mark, unlike many a pony she had met in her life. But, they had given her something that she had needed to work through that day in and day out. They had taught her that a pony is more then just their cutie mark, and that a book must never be judged by its cover (a lesson that she kinda forgot about after living in Ponyville for a little while. But that was because she had kinda grown complacent...). “That school was where I met and made my first friends.” She smiled, and looked up at the blue sky above them.

“Where're they now?” Lyra asked.

Colgate shook her head and looked at her. “I don't really know. We all went out separate ways once we graduated.”

“I see.” Said Bon-Bon, “But I think we're getting off track.”

“Yeah, you're right. So, anyway, ever since then, ponies always assumed that my talent was with making hourglasses or knowing time, or something like that. So they always had to ask about how a pony with an hourglass could be a dentist, and so I'd end up thinking about what it was like when I was a foal. Not to mention it made it hard for my professors to take me seriously at first. I usually had to pass what felt like a right of passage whenever I got a new one, just to prove I was serious about becoming a dentist. Didn't help that for the longest time I was obsessed with the stars.” Colgate said, casting a glance once more at the sky. “I mean, what kind of pony has this cutie mark, and knows just about everything there is to know about the night sky, and aspires to clean teeth for a living?” Colgate shook her head again. That was the attitude she always had to overcome.

“You had an interest in the stars?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Oh filly! Did she ever!” Berry suddenly said. “You wanted to know anything about anything you saw, you asked her! She had most of the stars memorized if I remember right. Not only that, she had a real telescope in her house. You know, one of those expensive ones that almost pro stargazers use? Yeah, she was using one of those before most ponies even had their cutie marks!”

“How do you know that?” Lyra asked, looking at her in surprise. “How long have you two known each other?!”

“She knows that because she met a lot of my old friends when I graduated. We all held a big party together, and Berry here spent the entire night talking to each and every friend I had. And I can't remember, did we actually know each other before that?” Colgate asked, looking at Berry.

Berry shrugged, “I don't know. Doesn't matter much if you ask me.”

“I suppose not.” Colgate shrugged. “So, anyway, yeah. I knew all sorts of things. I've forgotten almost all of it now though. I had to kinda forget it to make room for my studies.” Colgate said somewhat sheepishly.

“What? That doesn't make sense! It's not like our brains can only hold so much.” Lyra said, making a 'time-out' gesture.

“Well, I had to really focus on my studies, rather then keep what I knew about astronomy fresh and at the front of my mind. So I just kinda forgot most of it over time.” Colgate explained.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” Lyra said, putting a hoof to her chin.

“Why did you have such an intense interest anyway? That does seem odd for a pony with an hourglass cutie mark who would one day become a dentist.” Bon-Bon asked, though Colgate thought she detected a hint of a grin.

“You know, I've never asked you about that!” Berry said, the thought dawning on her, “Why were you so obsessed?”

Colgate blushed slightly. “Well, I don't really know. It just, felt natural, you know? Like, I kinda knew them, I guess. Like, I remember I would sit there and if I shut my eyes and focused really hard, I could almost feel their warmth, or so it felt like. And it just kinda came easy to me. I don't know. It's kinda hard to say.”

“Really? Wow. That's kinda cool.” Lyra said, with Berry nodding in agreement.

“Yes, that is interesting. That said, the day is running on, and I think we should get going.” Bon-Bon pointed out. The other three looked at each other in surprise and then up at the sun. Sure enough, it would only be an hour or two until noon.

“How long will it take for us to reach Hayseed Bon-Bon?” Colgate asked.

Bon-Bon looked up at the sky, and pondered for a moment. “I'd say, if we make a decent pace, mid-afternoon.” She then looked down at the group, “Now then, are we going to do as we agreed?”

“I'm cool with it.” Lyra said.

“I too agree.” Bon-Bon said.

“I-I'm out. I just can't do that anymore...” Berry said. Both Bon-Bon's and Lyra's shoulders slumped. “I'm sorry...”

“It's okay.” Bon-Bon said, “Like we agreed, it's your choice, and we're not gonna force you. That said, do you have the bottle?”

Berry held up a hoof and focused on it. After a moment (and a sweat bead or two on her forehead), the bottle popped onto it once more.

“Me first.” Lyra said as she swiped the bottle from Berry's hoof, and in the same magical motion, popped the cork, and took a drink. “Oh colt that stuff is nasty!” She said, as she once again began to bend and morph and-Colgate turned her head. The whole thing was a bit too much to watch.

After a few moments, and a few more unnatural sounds, Colgate spoke up, “You done yet?”

“Sure am! Having wings feels so weird...” Colgate turned to look at her, and sure enough, Lyra was that giant...thing again. Bigger even then a pony, it was the most bizarre shape she'd ever seen.

“Looks like everything is working properly. How do you feel?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Just as normal as I can like this.” Lyra said, flapping her wings a couple of times.

“Okay, good.” She held out a hoof, and picked up the bottle that had fallen to the ground during Lyra's … change. She popped the cork, and took a swig herself.

And nothing happened.

Author's Note

Originally, after posting the previous chapter, I had planned on going on a small haitus to give myself some time to rest and relax after writing those last two bits.

And then this just kinda popped out.

Oh well, guess no break for me! :trollestia:

Also: as a small note, I'll be going back to posting smaller, less lengthy continuations. Whereas the last two were much longer, the following bits are (most likely) going to be around 2.5 to 3 thousand words.

Chapter Three: Part One, and One Half

Chapter Three: Part One, and One Half

Twilight slammed the table with her hoof. This was ridiculous! She was a Princess!! Granted, she never wanted to necessarily use her station, or to be treated any differently then anypony else, but the fact that she was not allowed to leave her room seemed insane! She even tried to pull rank out of desperation, and she was told that they could not comply on account that they were under higher orders. What made it even worse, was the fact that she had actually been forbidden to send a message to anypony! It was the first thing she had done when she had reappeared in her room. She had written a letter to her friends in Ponyville, and handed it to a guard to deliver, who promptly tore it up and told her that all communications outside of the Vanhoover Guard were forbidden until such time was deemed that she had sufficiently recovered from her battle with Tirek. Not only that, but apparently each of her friends had (quite by coincidence of course) to take care of some big problem that required their immediate attention!

Applejack had been sent north to The Crystal Empire to help them harvest Crystal Berries (which were not even in season yet!). Fluttershy had been sent to deal with Discord who had somehow gotten the idea that Neighergra Falls would be a fantastic place to begin making waterfall souffles. Pinkie Pie apparently had been urgently needed to escort 3,000 tonnes of whipped cream to Balitmare. And, at the same time, apparently the Wonderbolts desperately needed Rainbow Dash to show them exactly what the Buccaneer Blaze was, right now. As for Rarity? Well, apparently she had been summoned to Manehatten to solve what was called a 'city-wide fashion meltdown'. And apparently Spike had been sent to Canterlot for further medical treatment (she was mighty peeved when she had found out that's where he'd been all along).

Though, Twilight did have to admit (as much as it angered her to do so), at least Spike's magically coincidental disappearance/unavailability made sense. As for the others? Something didn't feel right.

She struck the table once more, though this time with her face. It seemed pretty clear to her that something was going on. That for some reason, the princesses didn't want her to be able to contact her friends. Why?! What were Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence thinking?! It just didn't make any sense!

She turned her head and stared at the wall. There was no doubt that they were involved. How else could have two guard ponies had enough power to teleport her all the way back here? It was across the entire continent! She had managed to make good time when she crossed it herself, what with flying and teleporting and what-not (trains are lovely things when one's wings are tired), but even then it had taken her a lot longer then a fraction of a second! The only beings that she could think of that had that much power were the Princesses, or Discord.

Discord...

Her head shot up and she slammed the table once more (this poor table, it really didn't deserve it). He must be behind this! Then she paused for a moment. No, not likely. This was too well organized. He wouldn't have used guard ponies, he would have shown up himself. Not to mention the fact that not only were the Wonderbolts involved in this, but even The Crystal Empire. And there was also the fact that he himself was not here, gloating over her. That, more then anything, put the last nail into the coffin of that idea. What was she going to do? What could she do?

She walked over to the window, rested a hoof on the window sill, and looked outside. The barrier that the Vanhoover Guard had erected shined and shimmered with purple, distorting the view of the outside world. Twilight was no stranger to powerful magic, and knew that there was no getting past this thing. From what she could see, no less then 20 Unicorn Ponies actively maintained the barrier at all times. Given how powerful the spell was, she calculated that the actual number was more likely to be around 60 or 70, depending on each individual's aptitude with magic. It was, after all, a containment field designed to keep an alicorn from teleporting, or walking (or flying for that matter) out.

Some 'vacation' this was.

She let out a sigh. Something was going on, and for some reason the Princesses were doing just about everything they could to keep her out of the picture.

Wait … did this have to do with those ponies from Ponyville? No, that wouldn't make sense. Then again, she did see a small section of the sky tear open and reveal a rather horrifying toothy maw of madness. Odds were, that would have indeed caught the attention of the Princesses, provided they somehow found out about it. Then again, Twilight was never sure exactly how much they did and didn't know. Either way, Wouldn't they have asked Twilight and her friends to help?

She let out a grunt of frustration and slammed the window shut. She felt so powerless! What in Equestria could she do?!

A knock at the door jarred her thoughts.

“Come in.” she said as pleasantly as she could. Frustrated though she was, she didn't want to take it out on the guard. They were, after all, just following orders.

The door opened and Twilight turned to see the Captain of the Guard standing there, tray of food in hoof. “Pardon the interruption Princess Twilight, but if you are hungry, we have lunch prepared for you.” The massive mare said.

“Thank you, I could use a bite to eat.” she said as she took the tray from the Captain. “What's for lunch?”

“A Daffodil and Daisy sandwich your majesty.” the guard answered with a respectful bow.

This pleased Twilight. It was true that she was a prisoner, but at least they still treated her very nicely. They even sent a massage pony to prove the point! She smiled slightly. She did have to admit, her wings did feel a lot better after that.

“Would you happen to have any hayburgers by chance?” She ask, hopeful smile and all.

“We can bring one right up. Would you like it now?” The Captain saluted, clearly eager to please.

“After I'm done with this. Can I ask you a question?” she looked over at the mare, who stood unflinching at the doorway.

“I will answer it to the best of my ability, your majesty!”

“Twilight, please.”

“Yes Princess Twilight, Sir!” The captain saluted once more.

Twilight let out a sigh. “Why is Princess Celestia keeping me here?”

Without a moment's hesitation, the mare saluted again, “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, have requested that we, the proud Vanhoover Guard, protect and isolate Princess Twilight Sparkle, from the distractions and troubles of the outside world until such time-”

“-that it has been deemed that I have sufficiently recovered from the battle with Tirek. Yes, I know that. You've said that before. But there's something going on here. Why are they keeping me from leaving? I feel fine!” she objected.

“Would her highness like another massage?” The guard asked, quite unexpectedly.

“Huh? Uh, sure. That would be nice. But that's not the point right now!” she shouted. “I want to know why it is that I'm stuck here, not even allowed to send a message to my friends! And why are all of my friends magically busy and scattered across Equestria?!” an angry snort shot from her nostrils.

Her sandwich was also getting cold. Not that it came warm to begin with, but it was getting even less so.

“I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about your highness.” The Captain shrugged.

“Like haybarrles you don't!” she shouted.

“Well, to be fully honest with you, your Majesty, I actually don't.” The Captain said, not in the least bit phased by Twilight's outburst.

Twilight was taken aback. She was being completely honest with her. “Wait, really?”

“Really. I wish I could tell you, I really do, but I simply don't know why myself. I was just ordered to keep you here until further notice. And, to be honest, I kinda feel for you.” The Captain said looking at Twilight with sympathy. “I know that if I was in your horseshoes, I'd be banging on the walls and chewing at the doors.”

“'Chewing at the doors'?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, sorry your highness. It's an expression I grew up with. It means I'd be going crazy.”

“Oh, that makes sense. Well, thank you for you concern.” she paused, glancing over at her sandwich. “And I'm guessing you don't know why I'm not allowed to contact anypony?”

The Captain shook her head. “I'm afraid not. Our orders were to keep all messages from you, outside of any messages you wish to send to the guard, from leaving the barrier. I don't really know why either. And I'd be happy to help you out with that, but...” she looked a bit down cast.

“You're under orders not to...” Twilight said, she also becoming downcast. Then, an idea hit her. “Captain?” she asked, looking up.

Almost as though a few thousand volts had just shot through her, The Captain stood at the most rigorous attention Twilight had ever seen anypony stand at. “Sir! Yes Sir!” she shouted.

Twilight's eyes became disproportionately large to the size of her suddenly small pupils. She was very much surprised by the sudden show of enthusiasm. “Uh, so, how's … uh … Litterbug coming along?”

The Captain blinked a couple of times, clearly a bit confused. “Private Litterbug? According to my latest report, her initial training is going well. She is struggling with being able to wield a spear properly, but we're looking into a possible alternative. I've also heard that they're having trouble finding a suit of armor that fits her properly, so, currently, she trains with pillows strapped to her body.”

Twilight had to fight a giggle as the mental image of said pony covered in pillows that was supposed to be armor entered her mind. “That's great! Captain, you said I could send a message to anypony in the Guard, correct?”

“That is correct your majesty!” Well, don't let it be said that she wasn't bursting with enthusiasm.

“Could you send a message to Private Litterbug for me?”

“It would be my honor!”

Twilight let out a happy sigh. Perhaps she was finally getting somewhere. “Great! Tell her that I'd like to talk her for a bit. I'd like to ask her for a favor if I could...”

*****

Pinkie Pie slammed the last spike into place. One thing was for sure, this was surprisingly hard work! She wiped her forehead of the sweat that had begun to run down it, and placed the hammer on the ground. She had flashbacks of home doing this work. Ah, home. Ah, Ponyville. Ah, NOT NALING THE RAILROAD TRACK BACK ONTO THE GROUND EVERY 20 MINUTES! Seriously! Here she was, entrusted to personally escort exactly 3,294 tonnes of whipped cream (it was 3,297 when they had begun, but … well … Pinkie may or may not have found a small access hole … and may or may not have had a silly straw on hoof...) to Baltimare, and for some reason, the railroad track ahead of them just happened to pop off the ground every 20 min or so! So, they would have to stop the train, just as it was picking up speed, get out, and fix the track. Sure, the first 30 times it was fun, what with her discovery that a party cannon blast could nail a rail spike just as well as a sledgehammer, but she had run out of ammo for her cannon, and now she too had to join in the hammering.

“That should do it!” The conductor shouted from the engine. “Thanks everypony!” he said with a suspicious amount of cheeriness in his voice. The other ponies who helped waved back at him, and smiled as well, though with less cheeriness. Despite this, Pinkie Pie could detect fake smiles from a few of them.

This was all kinds of fishy, especially since there were no fish on board (save the whipped cream whales, but they're mammals, not fish)! Pinkie Pie may, or may not, be the foremost authority on trains and train tracks, but she was pretty sure that railroads shouldn't be popping up constantly. After all, she'd been on the train plenty of times, and this had never happened before!

Something strange was going on here. What was it?

As she rubbed her chin with her hoof, the conductor shouted once more, “Uh, Miss Pie? Are you getting on board?”

Pinkie Pie giggled, “I'm coming, I'm coming~!” she said, skipping back to the lone passenger car on this train. Yes, this was all very suspicious. All of the workers seemed strange. They didn't say much, and spent most of the time looking around nervously, particularly at her. Worse part was, they didn't even laugh at her jokes! Try as she might, she couldn't even get a giggle (though, there was that one mare who smirked slightly, but that was about it)! This was ridiculous!

Almost as ridiculous as that Pegasus Pony with an Earth Pony strapped to him that was flying towards her! Seriously! A hanging harness? Why not just use a chariot? And what's with the funky teleportation amulet around the Earth Pony's neck? Pinkie just shook her head. Ponies these days. Always doing things in such inefficient ways. Clearly, they just needed better writ-

“Are you Pinkie Pie?” the Earth Pony asked.

“Sure am!” she responded. “You here from Twilight?”

Both ponies looked completely taken by surprise by that. “Uh, yeah...” Said the Earth Pony, hopping off the hanging harness (it wasn't that far, for the Pegasus Pony had descended quite rapidly when the two of them had spotted her).

Pinkie Pie appraised the slightly smaller mare. She was simply dressed, wearing a blue jean hat, a jumpsuit, and an amulet around her neck. The jumpsuit was a dirty orange, with what looked like garbage stains here and there. As far as the amulet? It was little more then a circle with a simple crystal in the center.

Wait … that's not a crystal! It's a slightly used lollipop! It even had a hair or two attached to it! Even so, Pinkie knew magic when she saw it, and this was defiantly one magical lollipop.

“So, what can I do for ya?” she asked, her voice quite chipper.

“Well, uh, the Princess sent us to give you a message.” she began.

“Uh huh.” Pinkie said, nodding her head.

“She, uh, said...” the mare looked around and paused when she caught sight of the conductor, who was at this point simply looking at them with curiosity (it would be come annoyance, and then irritation, then finally impatient tapping of the hoof, but that would come later).

“Go oooon~” Pinkie pressed.

“Uh, well...” The mare looked a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps she was uncomfortable talking about this in the open?

“Oh, are you worried about the conductor over there?” Pinkie asked (none too quietly mind you), pointing a hoof directly at him. The mare began to give the most subtle of nods, but was cut short, “Oh don't worry about him! He's a fake anyway!” Pinkie said with far too much cheer.

Ah, there was the look of annoyance!

“W-what?” the mare said.

“Well, I mean, he's a real train conductor, but this whole thing is WAY too fishy to be real! I mean, what train has to stop every 20 minutes to fix the track? Not to mention that this train could really use some more decorations. I mean, what kind of whipped cream train doesn't have at least one party car? Not to mention the train has been stopping WAY too smoothy each time, almost like they knew what was coming. And that whipped cream? Yeah, it's water-based. Not even made with real milk!” Pinkie Pie knew poor quality when she tasted it, and that was poor quality! Even the whales knew it!

And then there was irritation.

“I-okay then...” the mare was clearly caught off guard by that.

“Oh? Was that what you were here to tell me?” Pinkie asked.

“Uh, yeah...”

“That's it? Nothing else?” Pinkie didn't think that was all there was to it.

“Uh, no. There was something else...” the mare put a thoughtful hoof to her mouth.

“Does it have to do with why Twilight didn't come herself?” the thought suddenly made Pinkie miss her. Still, this was a new pony, and a chance for a new friend!

“Oh yeah! It does! She wants you to meet up with your other friends and ask the Princesses why they are holding her prisoner at Vanhoover.” The mare suddenly looked quite pleased with herself for remembering.

“Oh? That's it? No problem!” Pinkie Pie grinned from ear to ear.

“Uh, you're not bothered by her being a prisoner?” the mare seemed rather confused.

“Nope! If she was in danger, she would have asked you to ask me and the others to come to her rescue! But since she didn't she's gotta be okay. So, nothing to worry about, right?” Pinkie said as the mare looked as though she had never thought of that.

“Huh, that does make sense.”

“Yep, sure does! Well, you just tell her that she's got nothing to worry about! Ol' Pinkie Pie here'll do just what she asked! Thanks for the message...” she let out a gasp. She had no idea what this pony's name was! “Oh gosh! I totally forgot to ask what your name was!”

“It's okay. I'm Litterbug.” she said, extending a friendly hoof.

“Oooohhh~~! Are you a trashpony?!” Pinkie Pie asked.

She nodd-shook her head. “Not anymore! I'm part of the Vanhoover guard!” She puffed out her chest and her face glowed with pride.

“She's a new recruit.” the thus-far silent Pegasus Pony suddenly said.

Litterbug's chest deflated a bit. “Well, okay, I'm still in training, and I only got accepted a few days ago, but I'm still part of it! It's always been a dream of mine!”

Aww, that made Pinkie feel warm and fuzzy inside. So much so that she suddenly found herself hugging her. This surprised Pinkie, but her body giving random hugs was a phenomenon that she had grown not only accustomed to, but fond of.

“Well Litterbug, you're doing a great job! And thanks again for the message!”

She blushed slightly. “Thanks. Just doing my job, I guess...”

At this point, she heard the impatient tapping of a hoof on a metal floor.

Pinkie Pie let her go. “That it?” Litterbug nodded. “Great! I'll take care of things here right quick, and be on my way.”

The Pegusus Pony lifted off, and paused long enough for Litterbug to hop into it. “Thanks Pinkie! It was really nice to met you!” she said as the two of them flew away. Pinkie Pie waved back at them as she saw a purple glow wrap around them, shimmer, pop, and then they were gone.

Pinkie Pie smiled. She had a sneaking suspicion that this was a trick. So, turning to the conductor, she simply smiled, and said “The gig is up! See you guys later~!” And simply skipped away, leaving behind one very relieved train conductor, and one very happy train crew (and one tired Unicorn Pony saboteur who was hiding in the shadows. His name was Tom).

*****

Applejack stomped a hoof on the ground. “What in tarnation is goin' on 'round here?!”

The Crystal Ponies all looked at each other in a fair bit of discomfort. “Uh, well, you see, uh...” Applejack's face reflected her lack of amusement. “We … needed to make sure that the berries were planted correctly!” the farmer replied.

“Oh fir Pete's sake! THEY ARE! And they were in the last THIRTEEN orchards you showed me!” her face moved from unamused, to simply irritated. “Are ya TRYIN' ta waste ma' time?”

“What? No! Of course not! We, uh, it's just that...” Applejack could see sweat beads forming on his forehead.

“The Crystal Berry crop is so very important to us, that we simply MUST make sure that each and every tree is properly planted!” his wife said.

“Bushes.” Applejack said flatly.

“Beg your pardon?” the mare replied.

“They're bushes. Berry bushes. Not trees.”

“Oh, uh, right! See? Good thing you're here to help sort these sort of things out!” She and he looked at each other, both attempting to laugh. Their children, not far behind them, all rolled their eyes as one.

“Seriously? You honestly didn't know that?” Applejack wasn't trying to sound like she didn't believe a word they said, but...

“Well, you know, it's just that they're so tall! Easy mistake, right?” The farmer said.

Applejack just shook her head. She had been told that this was very urgent business, and that she had to get up here as soon as possible. The letter had even been sealed with Cadence's hoofprint. And ever since arriving, she couldn't help but feel like it was a huge waste of time. Not only were the berries not ready for harvest, but they insisted on looking at every, single, bush. AND they asked her about every single detail they could when it came to farming. They were asking questions that they clearly should know the answers to, and did. Though, for some reason, they kept acting like they didn't.

She let out another sigh. “Yeah, sure. Easy mistake. Whatever you say. Let's just keep moving...” they both nodded vigorously, and walked over to another plant that was identical to the last 300 (in this orchard) she had just looked at. “Yes. It's fine.” she said before they could even open their mouths to ask. “It's planted just fine. It's got the water it needs, it's got enough sun shinnin' on it, and it's got plenty ah' room to grow. Can we pleeease move on'ta somethin' else?” she pleaded. The tedium of this was driving her nut-

“I told you to go north!” an irritated voice suddenly said from above.

“You said go north, and I went north.” said another, much calmer voice.

Everypony on the ground suddenly jumped and looked up. Up there, in the sky above them, were two ponies that Applejack had never seen before. How in Equestria's shiny red apples did they get there?

“I didn't mean this far north! We just needed to get to Neighagra Falls!” the first voice argued.

They were up against the sun, so it was hard for Applejack to make out any details.

“She said cowpony hat, yellow mane, and orange coat, yes?” The second said.

“Yeah, that one is Applesauce I think.”

Applesauce!? Who in the hay called her Applesauce?!

“Applejack I believe, and I think that's her there.” the second said calmly.

“What? Oh, sure looks like it. HEY! ARE YOU APPLEJACK?!” the first shouted.

“Ah' Can hear y'all just fine! And yes, ah' I am. Who're you?” Applejack said, trying to shield her eyes from the sun.

“H-hold on!” the first voice said. Then, to Applejack's surprise, a purple flash covered them, and they were gone.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack said, taking a step back in surprise.

“Hello Applejack! I'm Litterbug! Good to meet you!” an enthusiastic voice said from right in front of her. She looked down, and even further to her surprise stood a slightly smaller Earth Pony who was extending a hoof in greeting. Not far behind her stood a yellow Pegasus Pony who looked rather disinterested in everything.

“I-uh, Howdy...” Applejack said, still a bit surprised, and a little confused. “What, uh, can I do fer y'all?” she asked, shaking Litterbug's hoof. “And how did y'all do that?”

“Well, Princess Twilight gave this magical amulet it to me. She made it. It lets the two of us teleport short distances!” The mare smiled a rather happy smile (she even closed her eyes for good measure).

“Wait, you know Twilight?” Applejack said, rather surprised by this turn of events.

“Sure do! She asked me to find you and tell you that she thinks that this is all just a ruse and that she needs your help.” she said pointing a hoof at Applejack.

“Wait, what? I don't know about that. How do I know I can trust ya?” Applejack said, raising an eyebrow.

“She said to mention something about putting mud on your face after cleaning mud off your hooves...” Litterbug said, furring her brow in an effort to remember.

Yep. That would be something only she and Twilight would know about (and Rarity, who to this day still keeps teasing her about it). “That's good!” she said, raising a hoof to stop her. “I believe ya. So, what's this about this all being a ruse?” she suddenly heard hard gulps behind her, and looked to see both farmers with very nervous looks on their faces.

“She said that she thinks that you and everypony else were all sent on wild goose chases.”

“Wait, really? Who would do that, and why?” Applejack's face reflected her confusion, as well as surprise.

Litterbug shrugged. “She doesn't really know, but she has a feeling the Princesses are involved. Now that I think about it, that was something else I was supposed to tell you! She wants you to meet up with the others where the Princesses are meeting and ask them what's going on.” she said, hitting one hoof into the other as she remembered.

“Why can't she ask herself?” It did seem odd to Applejack that Twilight would ask them to do something she herself could do.

“Because she's currently being held as a prisoner at Vanhoover.”

There was a pin drop. It made a sound.

“WHAT?!?” Applejack bellowed. A vein in her neck may or may not have suddenly become visible. “WHATTA MEAN SHE'S A PRISONER?!”

The poor mare before her donned a look as though Cerberus himself had chosen her for his next meal. “S-S-”

“WELL?! SPIT IT OUT!”

“Sh-she's under royal orders to not leave Vanhoover, b-but she said to say that she didn't want you to come help her.” Litterbug said, shrinking away from a very upset Applejack.

“Like HAY I an't gonna go help her!” She turned around to the farmer family, “Thank y'all for the lovely time, but I gotta git. A friend of mine is in trouble!”

Unbeknownst to Applejack, Twilight had warned Litterbug that she was a stubborn one. She had warned her that she would react this way. And she had also told her what to say if this should happen. “A-Applejack?”

Applejack, however, was not interested in listening to not-quite-tiny trashmares. “Vanhoover, HERE I COME!” she raised up onto her hind legs, let out a mighty cry, and charged full speed to the train station.

A fine plan, that was rather rudely interrupted by a sudden jolt of pain from her tail. She fell to the ground as the sudden loss of momentum caused her to loose her balance. So, that's what grabbin' a pony's tail mid-run/flight/whatever feels like. It don't feel too good!

“Wait a second!” Litterbug said, spiting out Applejack's tail.

The look Applejack gave her was not far from the one she gave her earlier. If there was one thing she didn't tolerate, it was something getting between her and her loved ones. “You got three seconds...” Applejack growled.

This time, however, Litterbug stood her ground. “Princess Twilight, well, Princess Twilight asked me to say: 'Applejack, please. I know you're upset, and it really means a lot to me that you want to help me, but I need you to be with our friends. I'll be okay, so, please?'”

Applejack paused. Sure enough, that sounds like something Twilight would say. She hesitated. The stubborn mule in her refused to budge, and wanted to run full speed to Vanhoover. The friend of Twilight wanted to run full speed to her. Heck, far as Applejack was concerned, there was no reason at all to even listen to this mare and just go running all the same.

But yet, she did not. “Did she really said that?” Applejack softly asked.

Litterbug nodded. “She did.”

Applejack bit her lower lip. She didn't like this. She didn't like this one little bit. But she wasn't about to say no to Twilight. And if she said that she needed her with the others, then who was she to argue?

She let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, I'll do it.” she said. “I'll do it for Twilight's sake.”

Litterbug smiled a rather large, happy smile. “She knew you would.” That made Applejack both a little irritated, and a little happy, to hear. Twilight was trusting her, and she wasn't about to let her down! “Now, uh, could you tell us how to get to Neighagra Falls?” Litterbug asked, looking rather embarrassed.

Applejack laughed. “Sure thing Sugarcube! Just head on' south and west 'o here and you'll see it. Can't miss it! Now, ifin' you'll excuse me, I got me some friends to meet!” Applejack stood up on her rear hooves once more, and with a hoot, hollar, and a whoop or two, ran off to the train.

As she galloped off into the distance, the farmers turned to Litterbug. “So, uh, I guess that means we're done here?”

Litterbug shrugged. “I guess so. Did the Princess put you up to this?”

The farmers looked sheepishly at each other, then back at her. “We, uh, don't tell no one, but … Princess Cadence asked us to keep her busy for a few days. Didn't say why though.”

“Hum. I wonder why...” Litterbug rubbed her chin with her hoof.

“Who knows?” the farmer pony shrugged.

“Well, I got three more ponies to talk to, so see ya later! Bye!” she waved at them then hopped into the harness.

“I can't believe that I got saddled with this...” the Pegasus Pony complained.

“Oh quit your whining! You know this is important!” Litterbug said as they gained altitude.

“I'm not arguing that, it's just that you're heavy.”

“I am not!” she shot back. He rolled his eyes and she turned her focus back to the slightly used magical lollipop amulet, and focused upon it just as the Princess had taught her...

Author's Note

So, you remember the part where I said I would go back to the short updates? The ones that were only about 2.5-3K words? Well, it seems I lied. :trollestia:

But in all honesty, I had no idea this would be so long, nor did I realize it would be in two parts, as I tend to not plan these things out. But here we are, with an update twice as long as advertised. Oh well, muses are fickle things.

Bonus: I had originally written Pinkie's section rather differently. After the bit where Pinkie realizes that the amulet is a slightly used (and sticky as well) lollipop, this is what the original draft said:

“Aaaannnnnd let me guess,” Pinkie began, “You're here to tell me that this whole thing was a distraction set up to keep all of us apart from each other and Twilight sent you to track down each of her friends so that she can send all of us to the Princesses to ask them what's going on while you head on out to help some other ponies track down a magical toothbrush that may or may not be in a swamp that's full of scary monsters and you're going to do all of this really fast because Twilight gave you a magical amulet that let's you and that guy there teleport short distances while the two of you are flying around.” Pinkie Pie smiled. “Am I close?”

The silence that followed was so stunned-

Hold on, I need a moment.

…

Okay, I'm good.

SO anyway, the two ponies simply sat there, staring at her. “Y-ho-what?” The mare managed to say.

“Lucky guess.” Pinkie shrugged.

“Uh, well, yeah.” The mare finally said. “I, uh...” she seemed a bit at a loss for words.

Pinkie winked, “Don't you worry about nothing! I'll take care of things here and I'll head right on over to the Princesses faster then a party pony to a candy store!”

“Uh, thanks...” she responded, still not quite recovered from Pinkie's onslaught. Then, blinking a few times, she hopped back onto the harness, and the two of them took off.

Pinkie Pie smiled. She had a sneaking suspicion that this was a trick. So, turning to the conductor, she simply smiled, and said “The gig is up! See you guys later~!” And simply skipped away, leaving behind one very relieved train conductor, and one very happy train crew (and one tired Unicorn Pony saboteur who was hiding in the shadows. His name was Tom).

Chapter Three: Part Two

Chapter Three: Part Two

No, no, no, NO! It was all wrong! All wrong! He simply couldn't tolerate it anymore! Not only did it take far too long to cross that wasteland of dirt and sorry tasting grass (if one could even flatter it by saying as much of it), he now found himself in the middle of a swamp! He was no expert when it came to the geography of Equestria, but he was pretty sure that there was no swamp that he was supposed to pass through to get to his appointed location. Not only that, the little fungee ponees (he had tried to call them Fungai Ponies, but they INSISTED they were called 'fungee ponees') that had shown up after he had drank the swamp water had proven simply impossible to follow through this place! They giggled incessantly as he tired to follow them along the paths that they swore existed, but he often found his hooves sinking into the ground. They would swear up and down that this patch of earth or that tuff of grass (which was an odd shade of blue, when it wasn't hot pink, or boiling orange. Does orange boil? He wasn't aware colors could boil, and yet, here he was, looking at it) was firm enough to step on, but, lo and behold, his hoof would sink right through it. And then they would laugh as though it was the funniest thing they had ever seen.

He grumbled as he pulled his hoof out of the mud once more. It was easy enough for them. They were tiny. No larger then a Breezie, perhaps. Well, a bit larger. And some of them had toadstools for limbs. Which made walking across the swamp's floor rather easy for them, since they had caps for hooves. Those that didn't just had the odd mushroom growing out of their tiny bodies, and seemed to drift around in the air. Well, if nothing else, at least they were colorful. Well, most of them. Some of them were kind of brown, and one or two of them were all but pitch black. He also noted that some of them were rather … fuzzy.

Their intolerable giggling aside (as well as their rather strange smell), they were nice enough. After all, they did agree to help him navigate through this awful place. And he did have to admit that they were fairly adorable. Well, okay, some of them. Well, okay, one of them. Well … okay okay, plenty of them were fairly adorable, but there was one that was flat-out lovely to look at. Then again, it might have had to do with the spellbinding glow she gave off as she floated hither and thither. Or perhaps the vibrant colors of her coat and caps. Or perhaps it was the soft, melodic voice that she spoke with. Whatever it was, she was simply entrancing to watch. And it was she that lead him through the swamp. Well, she was on of many who were trying to helpful, but it was she he was following mostly. And while it would have been wiser to follow whoever was leading him along a more solid path, he simply couldn't take his eyes off of her.

So, okay, it may be partly his fault that he kept stepping into sinkholes and mud and whatever else. But could you blame him? Seriously, this little fungee ponee was something else. To his mind, this whole trip would have almost been worth it just to run into her. That said, he had an appointment to keep, and he was going to do whatever it took to keep it!

His mind drifted back to that letter. Why did he feel it was so important? After all, now that he thought on it, it never actually gave him an exact place or time to meet at. Nor, now that he thought about it, had it even said who had written it. In fact, aside from simply telling him that his services were urgently needed south of Appleloosa, and that he was needed immediately, there was no other information (the actual contents, were, in fact, slightly different, but since he no longer had the letter, time and memory had distorted what it said in his head). Nothing, save a strange, yet powerful, pull to answer the summons. He had no idea why in Equestria it was so very important, but something about that letter affected him in a way that nothing else had. He couldn't put his hoof on it, but it was something powerful indeed.

“Uh, don't you think you should, you know, follow Fluffy Funggy? She's walking across solid ground you know.” her ethereal voice knocked him from his thoughts.

“I'll be fine...” he said, in a voice that was a fair bit too dreamy.

“Well, you're about to st-”

Sploosh.

He had no idea that swamp … matter … could taste like that. But, given that he had just stepped into some kind of gooey swamp water-mush, and then face-planted into said substance, while drooling just a little, he got a first class sampling of the delicate dish.

It was simply awful.

He struggled to free himself of the horrid landscape, and after much graceful flopping about like a fish, he managed a modicum of success. Enough anyway so that his head was now above the swamp-goo and his hooves were on something somewhat solid (though he could feel it squirming slightly). He spat several times in an attempt to get the taste out. He was unsuccessful. “That was on purpose, I assure you!”

She giggled. “Are you okay? That stuff does some pretty funny stuff to ponies you know.” She turned to look at him. Goodness she was pretty...

“D-Do ponies come through here often?” he asked, a bit distracted by the smile that began beaming at him.

“Every once in a while. We get one who comes through here all the time. She's kinda funny. Always going on about magic or something like that.” she said as though reminiscing a fond memory.

“Well,” he grunted as he tried to pull one hoof out of the muck, “Magic is a very interesting topic. And,” he grunted once more as he yanked his hoof free from the muck, “I've often wished I had it for my studies.” he glanced about with hoof in air above him, looking to see if he could find a place to put it.

She glided gently to a nearby grassy knoll, and tapped it slightly with one hoof (did these things have proper hooves? He wasn't sure). Placing his hoof there, he pushed up, and freed his other front hoof, which he promptly placed on the same knoll.

“Thank you.” he said, panting slightly.

She simply smiled once more. “So, why are you coming through the swamp?”

“Well...” he started. Then he drew a blank. Why was he going through all of this? Why was he here? Wait... “Uh, excuse me,” he began, “But, uh, could you tell me where I am? I, uh, I'm afraid I simply don't know.”

The little fungee ponee looked at him with concern. “What's your name?” she asked.

H-He couldn't recall. “I-I don't know!”

“Oh no! Not another one!” she suddenly said in alarm.

“What, what do you mean?” he asked, rather concerned. He didn't know who, or what it was that he was talking to, but the fact that she looked so worried had him worried.

“This happens sometimes! The goo you ate, sometimes it makes some ponies forget everything!” she said, as she hovered up to his face. She looked between his eyes, as if hoping to see something in them. “Oh no, not you too!”

“What do you mean, 'not me too'? We've only just met, right?” He was suddenly unsure. Perhaps she was a long-time friend, or perhaps some sort of guardian that he had forgotten about.

“Well, it's just that... Listen, we've got to get you to the Hydra! They'll know what to do!” she squeaked as she looked around at the other little creatures like her. He too looked, and saw mixed faces of fear, agreement, and even one 'u be cray-cray!' face.

“The Hydra? Sounds interesting! Which way?” he had no idea what a 'the Hydra' was, but based on the looks the others gave in reaction, it looked like this 'the Hydra' was an interesting thing indeed!

“They're over this way, come on!” she said, floating away from him and off to the right. “Be careful! If you step in anymore of that goo, you'll forget how to think!”

Forgetting how to think? What an interesting idea! He wanted to give it a shot, but thought that perhaps it was unwise to do so. So, hopping from the patch of ground that his forehooves rested upon, he lept to the patch of ground that the little one now hovered over. “Made it!” he exclaimed excitedly. “Now then, after you... what was your name again?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She frowned. “We don't really have names.” she said.

“Well, what about Fluffy Fungee? She had a name.” He said.

“You can remember that, but not where you are or your name?” she asked, looking at him curiously.

Huh. Interesting. “That is rather strange. Isn't it?” he mused.

She giggled. “Normally the goo doesn't affect ponies like this. The ones with horns forget things and the ones with wings get all silly and giggly. Usually ones like you aren't too bothered by this stuff. If anything, they just get all clumsy and trip all over everything!” She then frowned. “But that's not what happening to you. That's really kinda weird.”

“So about that name?” He insisted.

“Huh? Fluffy Fungee? It's just a nick-name.” she shrugged.

“I see. So you don't have proper names, just nick-names that you give each other. Fascinating. So do you just call each other by your nick-names?” he looked around at the various other small things like her. Most of them had stopped moving and now were looking at him curiously, almost as if they were expecting him to do something.

She shook her head. “No, we have a bunch of nick-names that we just kinda move around. That Fluffy Fungee won't always have that nick-name.”

“Really? Is that so? Facinating. Then how do you tell each other apart?” he asked.

She looked at him as though he had asked something truly odd. “By our spores of course. What else could we need?”

He looked at her partly aghast, partly overwhelmed with curiosity. “Your spo-”

“I got it!” she suddenly said, startling him slightly (and interrupting his question for good measure), “We'll give you a nick-name until we can get you all fixed up!”

“That would work!” he replied, suddenly excited by the idea. “But what? Slippy-Slimy-Grimy-Wimey isn't the most flattering of names.”

“Humm...” she said, placing a thoughtful forelimb to her tiny chin. “Too bad you don't have anything on you, we could use that as something to call you by.”

Wait, something came to him. “H-hold on. I think I do actually!” he looked himself up and down. He didn't have any saddlebags, and there were no pouches that he could see. So, what was it and where was it?

“There's something poking out of the top of his neck!” one of the tiny ones shouted.

“Is there?” he asked, reaching a hoof to his mane. He felt something poke his hoof. “Well I'll be! There is!” He grabbed it and pulled it out. It looked like a long, thin, hollow twig or something. It was straight, and was very light. “What is it?” he asked, turning it over and over.

“It's paper!” shouted another little one.

“Paper?” he asked, looking at it confused.

“Yeah, paper. You ponies use it to write things so you won't forget...” she trailed off as the two of them suddenly looked at each other.

“Great Scott! Do you think this has my name on it?! Or why I'm here?” he asked, rather excited by this 'paper'. He looked it up and down, but couldn't figure it out for the life of him. “Uh, how does this work?” he asked.

The one he'd been talking to floated over to it. “Put it over there, on that rock.” she pointed. He did so. “Okay, so I think it works like this...” she rolled it over, and placed one tiny appendage under what looked to be an opening. She then pushed the whole thing to the side, and he watched, with great awe, as the round thing suddenly became flat. It was covered in all sorts of strange things. Things that he couldn't make heads or tales of.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice full of marvel.

“I think it's a PhD” she said.

“A what?” he asked. What a ridiculous word! Did he hear her right?

“A PhD. We had a pony once, a long time ago, come through here who was waving one around. She was very proud of it. She showed it to us and tried to get us to read it. But most of us have no idea how to read.” she explained, looking at the 'PhD'. He saw as her tiny head kept moving back and forth, almost as though her eyes were following something that was running across the paper.

“But, I take you know how to do this 'read' thing?” he guessed.

“Kinda.” she shrugged. “Hum.... Wow, this has nothing.” she said.

“What do you mean, nothing?! There's stuff all over it!” he pointed an impatient hoof at it.

“Well, I mean, it doesn't have your name on it! It just says 'Mr. Hooves'.”

“Is that my name?” he asked.

“I hope not!” she hook her head. “That would be a terrible name for a pony!” She looked the paper over again. “You know...” she paused, deep in thought. “I just remembered something. That pony with the PhD. She kept calling herself 'Doctor', over and over again.”

“Well then,” he grinned, “Then call me Doctor!”

*****

Bon-Bon was stunned. How? How was this possible? Lyra changed. Why didn't she? She didn't feel a burn, or a buzz, or even a taste! It was like she drank water! “WHAT? What happened?!” her eye began twitching violently.

“Woah, easy Bon-Bon. You don't want a second eye patch.” Lyra said, attempting to calm her down.

She took a few breaths. “Yes, yes. You are right. Still, what happened?” she looked over at Berry.

“I-I don't know...” Berry said, her jaw hanging in surprise. She wasn't the only one. Colgate too was clearly perplexed as to what just happened.

Did she do it right? Did she not drink enough? Bon-Bon looked down at the bottle once more. It looked the same it always has, though it was missing a little bit of the liquid. “I, I guess I'll try again.” she said, and put the bottle to her lips, and began chugging.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Lyra began chanting, causing Bon-Bon to almost gag in surprise. She should have seen that coming, she really should have. But chugged she did. She chugged the whole thing.

And still nothing. Not even a bit of taste.

“What am I doing wrong?!” Bon-Bon asked, pulling the bottle away from her and looking at it once more. Sure enough, it was still the same, though a bit more completely empty then it had been a few moments before.

“I-I don't get it. You should have changed.” Berry said.

“I know, right?” Lyra said, rather amused (much to Bon-Bon's annoyance).

All three of them shot her unamused looks. If Lyra had shoulders, she would have shrugged them and smiled.

“Wait, hold on,” Colgate said, “near as we can tell, that bottle makes you the opposite of what you really want to be, right?”

“I think so.” Said Berry.

“And Bon-Bon changed because she wanted ponies to stop thinking that she was a commando, right?” Colgate was clearly following a line of thought, one that Bon-Bon was pretty sure she could see the end of.

“So, now that she really wants to be one...” Berry trailed off as the other three turned and looked at her.

“It … won't change me...” Bon-Bon finished the thought.

There was a pause. The wind blew. A tumbleweed rolled past them.

And then Lyra bust out laughing.

“THAT'S HILARIOUS!” she cried out, after falling over onto her side, wings flapping out of control. So hard had she begun to laugh that her form had become unstable and she began changing to all sorts of random things. She was a duck, then a coat hanger, then a glass of wine, then a bowling ball, then a truck, then a flag pole, just to list a few.

In all honesty, Bon-Bon had lost track of all of the things Lyra was changing into, and she couldn't even recognize some of them. Though she was pretty sure she saw herself (with Lyra's colors) for a moment there. Be that as it may, Bon-Bon found this whole thing much less funny then she did. “LYRA HEARTSTRINGS,” Bon-Bon bellowed, “THIS IS NOT FUNNY!”

“LIKE HAY IT AN'T!” She cried, still rolling around, when it was physically possible to do so.

“Lyra! We are talking about-oh never mind!” Bon-Bon made a dismissive gesture towards her and turned to Colgate and Berry. Lyra usually knew when it was time to be serious, but every once in a while, she would simply loose her composer, and there was nothing to be done but wait it out. “Anyway, what should we do now? I can't seem to change anymore.”

Berry and Colgate looked at each other, and shrugged. Colgate looked back at Bon-Bon, “I'm not sure. I mean, we have to keep moving forward, so I guess we should just keep going and hope for the best.”

“That's a stupid plan, but I will agree it is better then sitting around here doing nothing.” Bon-Bon grumbled.

“Oh you're just mad that you can't go all commando!” Lyra jabbed, having finally calmed down, and once again the giant winged … thing.

It was true, though not because she wanted to be a commando. It was because it made the most tactical sense, and like that, she had abilities they might need. After all, at the end of the day, all she's ever wanted was to bee seen as a perfectly normal pony, with a perfectly normal life. True, it wasn't true that she had a normal life, but it was a life she yearned for. A quiet life with a steady place to live and work. Perhaps live above her own little store. Yeah, that would be nice...

“You know Lyra, if that stuff really does change you into the opposite of what you really want, what in Equestria do you want?” Colgate asked, turning to Lyra.

“Huh? Oh, well...” Lyra began, “That's a funny story you see … because what I want isn't actually in Equestria...”

“Wait? Really?” Berry said.

Bon-Bon knew where this was going. “Don't ask her about it. Trust me, you're best not knowing.”

“Aww! Come on Bon-Bon!” Lyra whined.

“No. It's strange enough that this happens to you. There is no need to make it any weirder.”

Lyra huffed. “Fine. But it still makes sense that I can become everything but what I want. It's actually kinda funny, don't you think?”

“I guess so...” Berry said.

“You know, now that we're talkin' bout this, why do you become a stallion Berry?” Lyra asked.

Berry seemed a bit taken aback by the question. Well, more surprised then taken aback. “Uh, well...” she seemed like she was caught completely off guard by the question.

“Yes?” Lyra asked, leaning towards her. Colgate too leaned a bit, and Bon-Bon suddenly couldn't help but suddenly realize that she too was slightly off balance.

“I think it's because, well...” she looked a bit embarrassed.

“Yeeeessss?” Lyra insisted.

“It's kinda dumb.” Berry looked away.

“Annnnd?” Lyra pressed.

“I think it's because, well, I think it's because I like myself exactly like I am. So, I guess the bottle just kinda turns me into the opposite of what I am. Well, I don't like the part where I'm usually drunk, not anymore anyway. But I'm guessing that's why I become a stallion.” Berry said, blushing a bit.

“Oh.” Lyra said, clearly a bit disappointed. “So, what's with the part where you look like the dream pony for anypony looking at you?”

Berry shook her head, “I have no idea.”

Perhaps it's because you're lonely.” Colgate said with thoughtful hoof on chin.

“H-HEY!” Berry said, her face becoming rather crimson.

“What?” Colgate asked, looking a bit confused that Berry had shouted at her.

“That's not something you just tell ponies!” she said, clearly embarrassed and a bit upset.

Colgate blinked a couple of times. Then something clicked. “Oh, shoot. Uh, sorry Berry! I was just thinking out loud! I didn't mean to say it like that!” Now it was Colgate's turn to blush with embarrassment.

“So wouldn't that mean the drink would make you repulsive?” Bon-Bon ventured.

“Yeah, you'd think it would.” Lyra said.

“Yeah, I guess you're right.” Berry said, putting a thoughtful hoof to her chin.

“Then perhaps the drink picks and chooses?” Colgate offered.

“That would insinuate that it is intelligent.” Bon-Bon said, holding up the bottle to look at it once more. It was a scary thought, but, she had to admit, one that made sense. That would explain why it acted the way it did. And if it was intelligent, could it be communicated with?

“I, uh, don't want to think about that. Let's just get going, okay?” Berry said.

“Agreed.” Bon-Bon said, hoofing the bottle back to Berry. “We have a swamp to cross, and we are not going to cross it standing here.”

And with nods all around (save Lyra, who currently lacked a head to nod with), the four of them departed east, along an old route that Bon-Bon knew would lead directly into Hayseed Swamp.

Author's Note

I too have spores. They make me look funny.

That aside, Poor Bon-Bon. All she wanted was a normal life. Well, that and to, for the first time in her life, become a commando. The poor girl.

Chapter Three: Part Three

Chapter Three: Part Three

Fluttershy let out a sigh, and almost a tear or two. Discord was a lovely friend, but sometimes he could be just so frustrating! For the past two days they had been here, and the entire time he kept trying to make little cupcakes from the waterfalls (this, of course, was in addition to the fact that he had already turned the entirety of Neighagra Falls into one giant souffle). Or was it the other way around? It was so hard to keep track of at times. And even then she wasn't fully sure it really had been two days. For all she knew, they could have just gotten there. But she was pretty sure that wasn't the case. After all, Discord didn't take control of the sun or moon, that she knew about.

THOUGH HE DID TAKE CONTROL OF THAT RABBIT!

“DISCORRRRD!” she bellowed, her voice becoming a little hoarse for the effort. “PUT THAT BUNNY DOWN!” she then paused, “Please?”

He paused as the rabbit (which was turning several different shades of tree) slowly rotated in the air. “Oh come now Fluttershy! He's having fun! Look at him. I bet he never knew he would make such a fine shade of pine, now did he?”

“No he does not. And it's not a he, it's a she!” Fluttershy argued.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I'll put her down.” he said, rolling his eyes. He let the poor girl slowly drift to the ground, which was far below them.

“What's gotten into you Discord?” she asked.

“Why, whatever do you mean?” he asked, blinking his eyes innocently.

“Why are you causing all of this trouble all of a sudden?” she pleaded.

“Trouble?” he looked at her with surprise and pointed at his chest with his talon, “Moi? Never!” he proclaimed, shaking his head. “You know those days are behind me Fluttershy. I'm reformed, remember?” he said, all smiles and innocence (was that a halo over his head?).

She crossed her forelegs a narrowed her eyes a bit. “Then why did you make Neighagra Falls into a giant fluffy souffle?” she pointed with a hoof at the massive (though admittedly yummy looking) souffle that was gently oozing something that was either white chocolate, or cloud fluff. Not far from it, a large group of tourists had gathered and were taking pictures. Some of the more daring ones had even begun to take bites out of it only to discover that apparently it was a souffle in appearance only. Yet, oddly enough, only about two-thirds of them actually spit it back out. For the remaining one-third, it looked as though they found it quite tasty.

“Oh, that? Don't you think it looks better like that?” he asked with a grin.

“No, not at all.” she responded quite firmly.

“Bah! You don't know what you're talking about. I'd bet the pink one would agree with me!” he said, waving a dismissive paw in the air.

“Pinkie Pie?” Fluttershy said, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that one one that liked my chocolate rain?” he asked, stroking his beard.

“Discord...” Fluttershy said in exasperation.

“What?” he asked, once again all innocence and smiles.

“You haven't answered my question.” she insisted. She was getting more and more used to this assertive thing. It wasn't always easy, and it scared her often more then not, but she did have to admit, it was kinda helpful.

“Come now my dear Fluttershy, do I have to have a reason to have fun?” he patted her on the head.

“This isn't fun Discord!” she objected. “Look at all of those poor fishies!” she pointed at the slow, but oh-so-tasty looking ooze that ran from the souffle. At a distance, a pony could think that it was filled with little bits of glittery candy or some such. But there was no candy in that. No, it was nothing but poor hapless fish caught in a slow fall to the river of custard and jagged gumdrop rocks that awaited them below.

“Oh, I don't know about that. I'd say they're getting a pretty sweet deal if you ask me!” He gave her a large grin. She simply frowned at him. “Well, it's hardly my fault if my artistic abilities are unappreciated!” he donned an indignant look and turn his head dramatically to the side.

“Discord...” she nearly pleaded again, but stopped short. Beyond Discord, and popping into her vision in a purple flash, was one of the strangest things she had seen in a while. “Discord?” she asked, looking behind him.

“Yes?” he asked, not moving from his perfect pose of despair.

“What's with the yellow Pegasus Pony carrying an Earth Pony in a large sack?” she asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

“Say what?” his eyes popped open and he looked at her, then his eyes promptly sunk into his head. “Well I'll be! Where did those two come from?” he asked. His speaking face was a bit unnerving without eyeballs. He then promptly vanished, and reappeared next to them. Much to their surprise.

So much so that the poor Pegasus Pony lost his balance and promptly dropped like a rock. It may not have helped that Discord had suddenly cracked a huge grin, snapped his fingers, and turned said pony into a rock.

“DISCORD!” Fluttershy cried in alarm. She hoped that he could hear her over the sounds of the poor screaming pony in the sack.

Discord, however, was laughing merrily. Fluttershy knew that she shouldn't be surprised that he would find this hilarious, but she was taken aback by his laughing all the same. “L-look at her FACE! PRICELESS!” he cried.

“DISCORD! SAVE THEM!” she cried, then dove as fast as she could after them. Sadly, she was no Rainbow Dash. Well, she was actually kinda glad she wasn't Rainbow Dash. T-that's not to say she doesn't like her friend or anything! N-no. It's just that Rainbow's life is a bit too exciting for Fluttershy. While Rainbow would love to spend the afternoon racing, Fluttershy was more then happy to simply sit in her little cottage sipping tea and enjoying the lovely weather.

As a result, she simply couldn't dive fast enough. And, as a result, they fell faster then she could fly. She out a cry and covered her eyes as the hit the grou-

The screaming suddenly stopped.

“Fluttershy! Come over here and look at this! This is great!” Discord from beneath her. She opened her eyes once more and saw him standing on the ground, with the poor pair of unfortunate ponies frozen in the air, just above the earth.

She flew down as fast as she could and landed next to him. He grinned at her and then pointed at the Earth Pony who's face was no more then a hoof off of the ground. She didn't want to look, but her curiosity got the better of her.

The poor mare's face was completely frozen in a look of pure terror. Her eyes were looking at the ground, and her pupils were all but completely gone. The poor stallion that was carrying her had a look of complete surprise on his rocky face. She marveled for a moment on how both of them were simply stuck there in the air, as if time itself had suddenly frozen around them.

“Isn't it great?” Discord put his talon on her shoulder, and pointed with his paw (while taking the opportunity to press the side of his face to hers). “Look at that her face! And his is great too! Oh I wish I had a picture of this!”

“D-Discord, what did you do?” she asked, her face slowly mirroring the frozen mare's.

“Relax. All I did was freeze them in time. They're fine.” He waved his talon dismissively. He then looked at Fluttershy, who was giving him a pleading look. “Oh fine...” he sighed. He snapped his fingers, and in a flash, both stallion and mare were lying safely on the ground. Though it did take a moment or two before that realization dawned on them (the poor mare was still screaming her face off for a good second or two before she realized that she was no longer falling to her doom).

“Better?” Discord asked.

“Are you okay?!” Fluttershy asked as she suddenly darted over to them.

“No appreciation.” Discord grumbled. Fluttershy ignored him.

“I-I think so.” the mare said, still a bit shaken from the whole thing (her voice was a fair bit sore as well).

“I-I'll be fine.” the stallion replied as he looked at Discord with concern.

“Oh gosh, I'm so sorry about that!” Fluttershy with as much sincerity as she could summon (which was quite a bit).

“What happened?” the mare asked looking about a bit confused.

“Well, Discord here turned your friend into a rock.” Fluttershy pointed to the stallion then shot a look at Discord, who simply shrugged in a 'What?' kind of way.

“I was wondering about that...” he mused.

“But it's okay. He's sorry for what the did, right?” she looked at Discord once more, with a bit more intensity then she realized.

He looked back at her, and paused a moment, then rolled his eyes, “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“Anyway, what are you two doing here?” Fluttershy asked.

“We're looking for a pony named Fluttershy.” the mare answered.

Then, all at once, Fluttershy remembered that she was a very shy pony. Suddenly, she wanted to be anywhere else then right there in that spot. But, sadly, she was frozen to it(what with paralyzing fear and what-not).

“Oh? Is that so?” Discord asked, a devious grin on his face.

Please don't tell them, please don't tell them, please don't tell the-

“Well, I just so happen to be Fluttershy's very best friend in the whole world.” Discord proclaimed proudly.

“You?” the mare asked, both with fear and disbelief.

“What?” he snapped back, then regained his composure, “You think a draconoquis
like myself can't have friends?”

“Uh, not, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, uh, I was wondering if you might know where she is?” the mare asked.

“That depends on who's asking and why.” Discord answered.

The mare looked mildly annoyed for a moment. “Well, my name is Litterbug, and this here is-”

“Yes, yes, yes, that's all very nice and good. But that's not telling me why you want to find my friend.” Discord interjected, causing the stallion to look a little miffed.

Her eye twitched slightly. She took a small breath, “We're here with a message from Princess Twilight-”

“TWILIGHT?” Fluttershy suddenly exclaimed. It seemed that hearing her name dispelled the fear that held her fast (or it might have been the overflowing warm fuzzies that suddenly filled her, but whatever).

Everypony around her suddenly looked at her in surprise. She then blushed, retreated deep within her hair, and started slowly walking back from the mare.

“Wait! Are you Fluttershy? Twilight needs you help!” Litterbug said excitedly, though as gently as she could.

Discord raised an eyebrow, and Fluttershy stopped retreating. “You know Twilight?” she asked timidly.

Discord opened his mouth to say something, but Litterbug cut him off, “She sent us to find you and all of your other friends. She said to tell you that she's currently being held prisoner,” she then quickly added (mostly due to the sudden look of worry on Fluttershy's face) “she's fine, but she thinks the Princesses ordered it. She also wants me to tell you that she thinks that all of the problems that each of you are dealing with are distractions to keep you busy.”

Discord let out a relived sigh. “Finally! I can stop doing what the,” he made heavy quotation signs in the air and donned a look of disgust, “'Princess' 'ordered' me to do! Can you believe that? She tried to give ME an ORDER! If it hadn't involved this,” he pointed at the 'falls', “I would have told her to distract my dear Fluttershy here herself!” Discord said, pointing at said pony.

“What?!” she nearly shouted. “Y-you did all of this to distract me?!” she was surprised, if not a little hurt. “And you didn't tell me? You lied to me?” tears began to well-up in her eyes.

“I-I … uh … I-It's, uh...” he stammered. He then bit his lower lip as he looked at her. “Oh please don't cry Fluttershy! I-I was just trying to help that Princess of yours! Blame her!”

“Why would you do that to me?” she wailed as the tears came forth.

“I-I...” he seemed at a loss for words, though Fluttershy didn't much notice. She was busy thinking about all of the poor animals that had suffered through all of this. “Okay, Okay, I'm sorry Fluttershy! I really am! Please stop crying. H-here, I'll fix everything! Watch!”

Fluttershy looked up and watched as he flew into the air, and began snapping his fingers. First, the river became water once more. Then the gumdrops became rocks. After that, the yummy looking ooze became water. And finally, after a brief pause in which Fluttershy was sure that Discord was hesitating (she could tell that he was rather proud of his work), he snapped his fingers once more and the falls became normal again. Even all of the animals he had turned into balloons and clowns became normal as well (wait, when did that happen?).

“There? See? Everything's better now! Right back to its old, boring, uninteresting self.” he said, slightly disheartened, as he drifted back to the ground.

Fluttershy wiped her tears, and gave him a little hug. “Thank you.” she said softly.

Unbeknownst to Fluttershy, this gesture caused Discord to choke up a little, and as a result, rather embarrassed him. “Uh, it was nothing! Oh my, I think I hear my dinner calling! Gotta go!” he said as a giant watch appeared around his wrist.

Then he vanished.

Fluttershy turned around to face the two ponies looking at her with hanging jaws. “H-how did you do that?” the mare asked.

Fluttershy simply smiled and said, “Always works.”

“I-I see.” said the stallion. “Anyway, I think we're almost done here, yes?” he said somewhat impatiently.

“R-right.” Litterbug answered. “Anyway, she wants you to meet up with the others at the princess's conference and ask them why they are holding her prisoner. Applejack and Pinkie Pie are already on their way, so you should hurry as well.”

“You already talked to them? Wow.” Fluttershy was amazed.

“Yeah, and we were wondering of you could tell us how to get to Manehatten from here.” Litterbug looked at her with eyes that spoke 'please help'.

“Oh, no problem! Just head east until you hit the shore then go south! You can't miss it!” she responded cheerfully. “And thank you for finding me! This is a very brave thing you two are doing.”

Litterbug rubbed the back of her head, “Just following orders.” she said softly.

And with that (and a friendly smile), Fluttershy took off, and began her long flight.

*****

“Three down.” the stallion commented after Fluttershy was out of earshot.

“Let's hope the others won't be as scary, eh?” said Litterbug.

The stallion simply rolled his eyes and took off once more as a purple glow encased the both of them.

Author's Note

Fluttershy chapter? :flutterrage:

Fluttershy chapter. :yay:

I have no idea why this happened, but apparently Fluttershy and Discord demanded their own chapter that completely excluded our four heroines. But, given that she usually sits on the chair of 'favorite pony', this is simply fine by me (AJ and Twilight tend to battle her for said seat, in that order).

Chapter Three: Part Four

Chapter Three: Part Four

Colgate stood in awe, and much confusion. For a pony who swore she had never been a commando (and insisted that the 'incident' at Deadmare didn't count), Bon-Bon's ability to navigate and avoid the pitfalls of a treacherous swamp was amazing. She even knew not to drink the swamp water, lest something called 'fungee ponees' find you. Granted, Colgate would have known better then to drink it anyway (who in Equestria would drink this stuff?), but the fact that it apparently causes hallucinations made the murky, and sometimes gooey, water all the more unappealing. Not to mention the smell. She shuttered to think what it would be like to treat a patient who had just drank this stuff, or made a habit of it.

Lyra too was rather impressive. Which made Colgate wonder all the more how they had failed to remain hidden when they had followed them into the Everfree. Both ponies (well, pony and giant winged not-a-claw-or-talon thing) were graceful. Bon-Bon's ability to weave between trees and leap from root to root never ceased to impress Colgate. And Lyra's ability to maneuver her flying self through the thick tress and vines of the swamp was nothing short of surprising and astounding.

This, of course, was saying nothing of their ability to work together. It seemed as though they could practically read each others minds. Without word or prompting, Lyra would fly above the trees from time to time, and descend to to give Bon-Bon a wordless report of what she saw. Not only that, often one would catch the other mid-swing or pull a branch out of the way just in time for the other. Watching the two of them was almost like watching two parts of the same whole. It was simply amazing.

And it totally made her jealous, not to mention miffed. Sure, they could flow through the swamp like it was no big deal, but she and Berry were the ones slowing everypony up! For every graceful leap or bound those two did, a curse or stumble would come from either Colgate or Berry. To say it was frustrating would be an understatement. Not only that, but the other two would have to either sit and wait for the two of them to catch up, or would have to backtrack to avoid losing them As a result, their progress through the swamp was slow. A fact that annoyed Lyra and Bon-Bon. Though, at first, they did their best to hide that fact. By the time the group needed to stop for a breather, their annoyance was bleeding through like water through a cracking dam.

Still, they held their tongues. Rather, Bon-Bon took the opportunity to educate them even further on the dangers of the swamp, “When night falls, don't follow the lights. Those things are Whinny-the-Wisps. They usually leave ponies alone, but if you try to get a closer look, they will lead you deeper into the swamp until you loose the trail.”

“We're following a trail?” Berry asked.

“RIGHT?” Lyra responded, hopping up and down for emphasis, “But yeah, we totally are.”

“I don't see it.” Colgate said.

Bon-Bon's eye almost twitched. “Trust us, there is one.” Then she paused, and then looked at Lyra. “Lyra, where are we actually going?”

“Don't ask me. I was just following you.”

“And I you...” Bon-Bon trailed off.

The only face that did not meet a hoof was Lyra's, for she currently lacked both face and hoof to connect.

“Colgate, do you still have that map?” Bon-Bon asked, looking at her.

“I think so.” She help up her hoof and focused on it. After a moment, an old scroll popped into being on top of her hoof. It was a strange sensation. Nothing at all like the simple summoning spells that she's used from time to time. It was magic alright, but magic that was apart from her. Did the map itself have its own magic? Now was not the time for such speculations. Rather, now was the time for opening said map.

As she rolled it open on a mostly dry(ish) spot on the ground, she felt an odd sensation. The map itself showed Equestria in startling detail. She, however, felt a sudden sense that she knew exactly where she needed to go. She just didn't know exactly how to get there. And by exactly where to go, it was more like she knew the exact distance and direction they needed to travel. It was east southeast of where they were, and if they walked straight (and there wasn't a swamp between them and their destination) it would take them roughly three days. With this swamp, it was anypony's guess how long it would tak-

“I think I know where that is.” Bon-Bon said, much to Colgate's sudden surprise. Did she just read her thoug-

“It might not be the same place Bon-Bon.” Lyra responded. What in Equestria?

She looked down at them (wait, when she look up?) with a confused look. “What are you two talking about? Did you just read my mind?” she was mildly concerned that the answer was going to be yes.

“What? No. Why would you think that?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, how did you know where I was thinking of?” Colgate asked.

“What're you talking about? We were looking at the map.” Lyra answered pointing at the ground (if she had a hoof to point with anyway. As it was, she kinda just leaned forward a bit).

Colgate blinked a few times, then looked down. The map no longer showed Equestria, but a small section of Hayseed. On the map it showed a bird's eye-view of what looked to be overgrown pyramids poking out between large trees. “Wh-What is that?” she exclaimed.

“The last place we went to when Lyra and I were hear before.” Bon-Bon said gravely.

“I'm telling you, it could be someplace completely different.” Lyra said, almost annoyed.

“You saw the direction the map moved. You saw how far it was. It has to be the same place.” Bon-Bon insisted.

“Mind filling us in?” Berry asked.

Bon-Bon and Lyra presumably shared a look. Then Lyra let out a small sigh. “Yeah, sure, though it's not much of a story.” she said, her shape turning a slight shade of red.

“Indeed. We spent most of the time running and screaming.” Bon-Bon said with some difficulty. It was clear that it was a bit embarrassing for both of them.

“To, uh, make a long story short, after what happened the last time we were at Deadmare, we kinda ran screaming for our lives directly into the swamp.” Lyra began, sheepishly.

“And just kept running and running and running.” Bon-Bon continued, as she lowered her head in shameful shame.

“And, well, when you're running like that, and you're surrounded by thick trees like this, you kinda loose track of how long you've been running. After all, you kinda can't really see the sun all that well here.” Lyra shrugged (figuratively of course).

“As a result, we have no idea how long we ran for, but we do know which direction we ran, and I'm telling you, it's the same place!” Bon-Bon said, rather insistent that she was correct (though she appeared rather unhappy with that idea).

“And I'm telling you that we don't know that! We don't know how many places in this huge swamp have ancient pyramids, okay? For all we know, they could be all over the place and we just happened to get unlucky!” Lyra shot back.

“Anyway!” Bon-Bon almost shouted, “The point is that eventually we ran into a group of pyramids that surrounded a clearing.”

“There wasn't a clearing where the map showed us!” Bon-Bon was clearly annoyed that Lyra had just interrupted her.

“It doesn't matter Lyra! And if you could be troubled to remember something properly for once, the trees in that part of the swamp were very tall and very wide and very, very broad canopies. And, if you can clear out the fog that seems to have filled your brain, you will remember that the clearing was covered by the canopy above it!” Bon-Bon snapped at Lyra.

Colgate got the feeling that Lyra rolled her eyes in a none-too-friendly manner. “No, you're wrong. We could feel the sun, remember? You had to shield your eyes to look around? You said it felt good to feel the sun again?” Lyra's voice was worryingly devoid of her usual light-hearted manner.

“Uh, so about these pyramids?” Colgate interjected, hoping to dispel some of the storm clouds brewing in the air.

“Yes, Lyra, what about the pyramids?” Bon-Bon's voice was far too acidic.

“No, no. Go ahead. You clearly remember it much better then I do. So, please, by all means, don't let me stop you.” Lyra countered.

Bon-Bon's good eye twitched dangerously. Thankfully, it only did so once. “Fine.” she turned her head away from her and looked at Berry. “So, around this clearing there were four-”

“Five.”

“EXCUSE ME?” Bon-Bon shouted as she turned back to Lyra.

“There were five pyramids.” Lyra corrected her again.

“LYRA HEARTSTRINGS! WHO IS TELLING THIS STORY?” Bon-Bon bellowed.

Lyra promptly turned around to face the other way (though, her lacking a face made it hard to be sure which way she was facing). “Well, pardon me for trying to make sure that they got the right version.”

“Lyra. Don't.” Bon-Bon threatened.

There was a long silence that followed her harsh words.

“As I was saying before I was interrupted,” Bon-Bon turned back to Berry, “there were four pyramids,” Lyra twitched slightly, but said nothing, “around this clearing. Since we were absent of our senses, we thought that it would be a good idea to try and take shelter in one of them. We thought the largest and most prominent one would be too obvious, so we picked the second smallest one to hide in. Well, inside we found nothing more then a labyrinth of monsters and other horrors.”

“Why didn't you just leave and go to another one?” Colgate asked.

“We figured it wasn't safe to leave it. That, and the entrance had sealed itself shut behind us. Though, at the time, we didn't know that.” Bon-Bon shrugged. “That, and, uh … we got lost...” she looked down once more, none-too-pleased to have admitted that.

“Correction. You got lost.” Lyra said.

Both Berry and Colgate moved with speed that surprised them both as they suddenly appeared between Lyra and Bon-Bon, standing upright with forelegs spread to block Bon-Bon's leap of rage at Lyra. “Ignore her Bon-Bon!” Berry pleaded, “Please, just keep going!”

“Only if she promises to stay quiet!” Bon-Bon pointed an angry hoof at the thing that her two friends were blocking her from mauling.

“Lyra?” Berry asked.

“I've done nothing wrong.” she said in a 'and that's that!' tone of voice.

“Well, that might be so, but could you please at least wait until Bon-Bon is done?” Colgate asked as nicely as she could.

“Humph.” It was more of a noise then a word that came from Lyra, but Colgate took it to mean 'sure' all the same.

Colgate then turned to Bon-Bon and smiled nervously. Bon-Bon closed her eye and turned her head angrily to the side before she continued. “At length, we finally made it to what we figured was the center chamber. And there...” she trailed off as her face suddenly began to grow pale.

“We found a giant spider queen.” Lyra said, turning around to face Berry and Colgate, who, in turn, faced her as well.

“A what?” Berry said.

“A spider queen.” Lyra replied.

“So, a huge spider surrounded with webs and giant egg sacks?” Colgate asked. The thought both intrigued her, and also unsettled her a little.

“What? No. Not at all. We found a mummy of an old queen who ruled over a kingdom of giant and tiny spiders. She was actually kinda friendly. Well, right up until Bon-Bon here freaked out and started screaming at the top of her lungs.” she then leaned in close, “She's arachnophobia.” she whispered.

“She's afraid of spiders?” Berry asked.

“Big time. Like, she straight-up can't be around them, or else she starts having panic attacks.” Lyra clarified.

“So, you mean she actually has a legitimate phobia of spiders?” Colgate asked, casting a glance back at Bon-Bon who was currently trying her best to regain her composure.

“Yep. She totally does. You shoulda seen her the Nightmare Night Princess Luna came! She didn't go outside for three days afterward.” Colgate was pretty sure that Lyra was shaking her head right now. “Anyway, so after she started freaking out, the queen freaked out, and then then last thing I remember was a whole lot of screaming and I'm pretty sure something like a ceiling fell or perhaps a wall or two, or something. I don't know. All I know is that I woke up a few days later in a hospital in Canterlot. That, and everything would have been fine, if Bon-Bon here hadn't screwed everything up!” she hopped once, and Colgate could feel her anger finally burst.

“What did you say?” Bon-Bon growled behind them.

“I said everything would have been fine if YOU hadn't screwed it all up!” Lyra accused.

“Well if YOU hadn't decided to follow those cowponies to Deadmare in the first place, none of that would have happened to begin with!”

“Oh yeah? AT LEAST I'M NOT SOME FRANKEN-PONY EXPERIMENT!” Lyra screamed.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?” Bon-Bon screamed back.

It was at this point both Berry and Colgate realized it was no longer wise to stay between the two of them. Not that it mattered anyway, for Bon-Bon lept over their heads and slammed into Lyra.

It didn't take long for the two of them to vanish beyond eyesight into the swamp, though the sounds of their rather bitter battle carried through the air and shook the leaves and slimy branches of the trees. The two of them listened as the two struggled and fought each other with an energy and brutality that would make even the most savage of trainable monsters pause in appreciation. They heard the sounds of animals fleeing for their dear lives as they progressed through the terrain. They heard the sounds of exploding trees and splintering wood as though somepony had decided to clear out the swamp with a cannon. And, of course, they heard all of the lovely things the two of them said to each other as they attempted to destroy one another. Most of it was unintelligible, and the rest was, well, rather rude to put it mildly.

“So, I guess there's nothing we can do until they're done, is there?” Berry asked Colgate. They both sat down and looked at each other.

“I guess not.” Colgate said.

“How long do you think they'll be like that?” Berry asked.

“I have no idea. I hope not too long.” Colgate frowned and looked at the ground.

“Think you can patch them up afterward?” Berry looked back at the sounds of the natural disaster that was their two friends.

Colgate looked up at the direction it was currently coming from. “I hope so. If not, then hopefully I can teach Lyra how to do it.”

“So I guess we're just waiting?” Berry looked back at Colgate.

She let out a sigh, and looked back at Berry. “I guess so.”

And so, with nothing else to do, they waited.

Author's Note

If you count the number of parts to this whole story, you'll find that this one is part 33 (technically 34, since the first part of the first chapter is two parts mashed into one). As a result, the fellow for whom I am writing this story told me that there was a duty I had to preform.

I disobeyed said duty :yay:

I am proud of my chaotic alignment.

That said, to our friends in the United States: Happy Independence Day.

Chapter Three: Part Five

Chapter Three: Part Five

“We're almost there, I promise!” the little fungee ponee said, jumping up and down in the air in her excitement.

“Are we? I rec-” he slipped and got a face-full of mud, “Blehh! Anyway, as I was saying, I recall you having said that over an hour ago!”

“An hour? What's that?” she tilted her tiny head in confusion as she looked at him.

“Right, you fungee ponees have no sense of time, do you?” he said more to himself then to them. Wait … time? Time, time, time… There was something about that word. What was it? Oh! This was so frustrating! He grunted and slammed his hoof down.

“Are you okay?” she asked, looking a bit concerned.

“Well, to be honest, not particularly. There's something about that word, 'time', that sticks out to me. Though I don't what or why.” he shook his head.

“Hum...” a thoughtful pose was an interesting one for one of her size to take, but she pulled it off well. “I wish I could help you, I really do. I-I just...” she then turned an odd shade of red and turned her back to him. She then cleared her teeny-tiny throat, and turned to face him again, “Anyway, Like I said, we're not far. Just a little more.”

He grumbled slightly, but said nothing more. All of this swamp nonsense was putting him into a foul mood indeed. Though, he did have to admit, looking at her made him feel slightly better. Even if he often stumbled into things 'cause he wouldn't stop looking at her. Though he could hardly be blamed! It wasn't his fault she was so prett-erm-fascina-um-interesting! Yes! Interesting! Why, how could one NOT look at h-them? After all, how often does one get to look at such interesting creatures? He smiled (and she suddenly turned beat-red, though he didn't notice). Yes! That was it! He was simply observing something he'd never seen before, that's all.

They traveled in silence after that. Relative silence anyway. He made the odd grunt or 'ow' as he made his way, and the fungee ponees hopped and hipped and even jumped about making little noises to each other as they did. He envied them. They seemed so carefree and simply happy to be alive. Not only that, they floated so easily through the air, or bounced so easily off the ground (as not all of them floated about).

Why, he even envied the fact that one of them just floated right through a solid tree trunk. Granted, he'd never seen ANYTHING pass through a sold object before, so that just made the envy all the mor-WAIT, WHAT?

He shook his head and looked again. It was gone entirely. That is, the fungee ponee was gone. He stopped, and looked around him. Most of the other ones were gone as well, and the ones he could see had suddenly become increasingly see-through. He watched in mixed parts horror and fascination as the little things simply vanished into the air, one after the other. One of them even turned to him and waved goodbye before it vanished. He then looked ahead, afraid of what he might see what had become of the one he had become so enamored with.

She simply hovered there in the air in front of him, smiling. “I'm glad you made it!” she said with transparent lips.

“M-Made it?” he said, suddenly feeling very, very nervous.

She nodded and smiled all the sweeter. “Yep. You made it to The Hydra. And don't worry, you're in good hooves!”

There were the last words she said before she too vanished all together, leaving him alone in a large clearing covered by a high canopy.

“W-WAIT!” he said, panic rising in his voice. Then, a thought crossed his mind. Had he just been led into a trap?

The earth suddenly shook, and his irises shrank to the size of tiny coins. He heard a massive footstep, and the earth shook once more. His lips pressed tightly as he looked for the source. Another step, another quake. This time, the trees directly across from him shook. A fourth step rocked the earth, and knocked him from his reverie. He promptly turned right around, and booked it out of there.

Or not…

You see, upon turning about he suddenly found himself face to face with a very large triangular head with green eyes that looked at him hungrily. His ears dropped and he back up several steps before he felt himself run right into something. 'Oh please don't let it be what I think it is…'

Sadly, it was. It was another large head, almost identical to the other that had appeared behind him. Then from the trees to the left burst forth two more heads, followed by one massive body. He backed up as far as he could, and stopped when he bumped into yet another something. Normally, he would have loved to look at what it was, but the fact that a massive creature with four heads was currently standing over him (all of said heads looking very hungry), quelled his curiosity (it was a stump).

“P-please don't eat me...” he said as giant sweat drops fell down his face.

“Come come now, old boy! What kind of doctor eats their patient?” the left-most head said.

*****

Colgate shook her head as she wrapped another bandage around Bon-Bon's leg. The poor girl let out a painful squeak as Colgate finished it off with a bow.

“Not so tight!” she protested.

“It needs to be. Trust me.” Colgate said with a nod that settled the matter. She looked over at Berry as she too applied bandages to Lyra. While Berry had no spell to numb most of the pain with, she had done her best by giving Lyra a bit more of the drink. This, of course, turned Lyra back into a regular pony once more, and had the intended effect of reducing the pain she felt, but she did end up a bit tipsy. Well, fairly tipsy. Really tipsy.

Okay, okay, she's straight-up drunk. On the bright side, she's actually a nice drunk. On the not-so-bright-side, she's a unicorn, and drinking and magic never mix well. Thankfully, however, Colgate had that lovely numbing Novocaine spell with which to drug Lyra into a rather passive state. Granted, that wasn't exactly how that spell was supposed to be used, nor was it strictly speaking safe, but a passive unicorn was better then a drunk unicorn.

Colgate sighed. Best to get this over with. “Alright Bon-Bon, sit tight for a moment while I help Berry.” Bon-Bon nodded, and Colgate walked next to Berry's side. “How's our patient?” she asked, looking at the wobbling form of Lyra.

“Plastered,” Berry answered, tying a tight knot around her mid-section, “but fine otherwise. Wish she hadn't drank so much though. She really needs to lean to pace herself.”

“She never was very good at that.” Bon-Bon said. “She's actually kind of a nightmare to take to parties. She is very pleasant at first, but she often gets into chugging matches and she is never one to refuse a good challenge.” She simply shook her head.

“H-HEY!” Lyra slurred. “Just because little lily head's gotta hit the rucky rock pores, doesn't mean that ruly’s fondue is gonna shine, okay?”

“Come again?” Bon-Bon asked. Berry held up a hoof to silence her.

“No, no. She makes a good point.” Berry looked at Lyra with a deeply serious look. “So rig bang's hipper's gonna rip-roll hound's lagoon?”

Lyra's eyes opened wide in surprise as she began nodding, sideways. Colgate actually thought that she was shaking her head at first, but judging from the fact that her head was now tilted sideways, she figured that was not the case.

“I … should I be surprised by this? This ability to talk to a drunk pony?” Bon-Bon asked Colgate, who shook her head.

“It's something she's always known how to do, for as long as I've known her anyway.” Colgate shrugged. “She's also really good at acting drunk as well.”

“Wait, Berry's actually been sober before?” Bon-Bon asked, with a bit more honest surprise then was perhaps necessary.

Berry's ears suddenly perked up, and Colgate saw her face suddenly flush with an angry red. “What?!” Berry growled. She whipped her head around and looked at Bon-Bon as though she had just insulted her rather harshly (which, you know, she kinda did...).

“I … uh, well, it's just that...” Bon-Bon began, sputtering to regain her composure.

“Berry, it's alright. I know you're not like that. It's okay. Just remember: Breath, okay?” Colgate said calmly, holding a hoof in the air. Berry let out a few breaths as Colgate's horn began to glow and wrap Lyra's head in her magic. “So, what did Lyra say?”

It took a few moments for her magic to sink into Lyra's brain (as numbing the mind of a pony is far more complicated then a mouth). During which Berry calmed down a bit. “She said that the two of them cleared a path through the swamp we could use.”

Colgate smiled. “Really?” she turned and looked at Bon-Bon expectantly.

“Colgate, your spell.” Bon-Bon pointed a hoof.

She snapped her head back at Lyra and regained her focus. She had to be careful lest she accidentally numb her too mu-

Lyra's eyes rolled to the side and her head flopped over as her tongue rolled out of her mouth. She also began drooling a bit (it was not one of her more graceful moments). She then let out something of a gurgle/hum combination as even more drool made its way out. At least it sounded like a happy hum-gurgle.

Colgate blinked. “Uh … oops.”

For a moment, Colgate thought that perhaps there was something of an echo in the air, as she suddenly heard the sound of a hoof and face meeting happen not once, but twice. But, when she turned around, she saw that both of her friends stood there with hooves in their faces.

“Really Colgate?” Berry asked. “Really?”

“Is she going to be okay?” Bon-Bon asked with some concern in her voice.

“Yeah, she should be fine. Though...” she looked back at Lyra apprehensively. She's never really done that before to a pony before. She figured that the Novocaine should work its way out of her system eventually, but when it's put directly into the brain...

“Though what?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an intense eye-brow. “This is my best friend we're talking about here. Is she going to be okay?”

Colgate began sweating a little. “Well, normally this stuff shouldn't last too long. She should be good in like an hour … or so.” Or so she hoped.

“Can you walk?” Berry asked Lyra, who's glazed eyes simply looked at her, or perhaps even through her. “I, uh, think we might have to carry her.” Berry said.

“I see. Well, that should be easy enough. Lyra, gra-” Bon-Bon paused. She looked at her, then at Colgate, then Berry, then Colgate again. She was clearly not amused. “Right. I forgot for a moment that she can't help. Berry, I need you to find two long, and very sturdy sticks. Colgate, I need you to see if you can find anything that might be useful for rope. I'm going to see if I can find something strong enough to lay her on.” There was a pause. “Well? Let's hurry! We don't want to be stuck here any longer then necessary!”

“What about her?” Colgate asked, pointing at Lyra.

Bon-Bon considered for a moment. “Good point. Berry, you stay with her. Colgate, come with me, I'll need your magic.” Both ponies looked at each other and nodded. Berry ran over to Lyra's now prone side, and Colgate walked next to Bon-Bon. “Alright. Follow close. And remember, don't drink the swamp water!”

Colgate nodded as Bon-Bon stood, and let out a painful groan. “Uh, perhaps you should just tell me what you need?” Colgate offered. She felt bad for the poor mare. Doing what they had done couldn't have felt good on her poor body.

“No! I must … endure it! This is Lyra we're talking about here. She would do the same for me!” Bon-Bon said, gritting her teeth.

“Are you sure? I mean, you two did, and took, a lot of damage.” she looked towards the place where their mighty brawl had begun. Though it wasn't obvious at first sight, now that she was looking, she could see that just beyond it lie a path of terrible destruction.

“Yes. Plus, I know what materials we need, and what they look like, and you don't. So I have little choice in the matter.” Bon-Bon grunted as she stood.

“Well, here, let me help a little.” Colgate offered, reaching out with her magic to help numb even more of her pain.

Bon-Bon waved a hoof. “No, what you have done is sufficient. Trust me, I will be fine.” She took a step forward, paused, then took another step forward. Colgate could tell it wasn't easy for her, but she was doing it all the same.

“Okay, if you're sure. After you then.” Colgate fell in step behind her and followed her as they made their way on to the new 'path', and thus deeper into the swamp.

*****

“So, what was that about?” Bon-Bon asked as she ducked under a branch. Her question was the first thing either of them had said after leaving Berry and Lyra behind. It had been awhile, and Bon-Bon had begun to wonder if either of them were going to say anything. Though, perhaps Colgate had remained silent because she didn't know what to say. That, or there was the fact that Bon-Bon was in excruciating pain as Colgate's numbing spell had sapped away with surprising speed. Either way, the silence had been broken, and Bon-Bon was glad for it.

“Berry snapping?” Colgate asked.

“Yeah.” Bon-Bon looked back at her.

“Well, you remember that time at Diamond Tiara's party when she drank from the punch bowl?” Colgate asked as she levitated a small log out of the way.

“I think so. It has been quite a long time.” Bon-Bon admitted. Her memory was pretty good, but random moments like that were hard to recall.

“And do you remember how we all laughed about it afterward?” Colgate looked back at her, clearly hoping she did.

“Hum. It is a bit fuzzy, but I think so.” Bon-Bon replied. It wasn't fully true, but then again, it was hard to think through the crippling pain that was currently being alive (the numbness had completely worn off by this point), so it was possible that she could, just not right now.

Colgate suddenly seemed a little sad. “Well, not everypony was laughing with her. There were some who were-”

“Laughing at her?” Bon-Bon guessed.

Colgate nodded slowly. “Yeah. It's no secret that someponies in town arn't the nicest. And they like to laugh about her behind her back. They even spread rumors sometimes.” Colgate said sadly. “That and, she's kinda alone now. I mean, I kinda am her only friend.”

Bon-Bon's eyes widened with surprise. “Really? I had no idea!”

“Yeah. So, she's kinda sensitive about it. Well, the drinking anyway. She started snapping at ponies all over town, so I took her to some anger management classes to help. Thankfully, most of it stuck, and now she's just kinda coping with it.” Colgate shook her head sadly. “But, if she sticks to the whole not-drinking thing, then hopefully that'll change.” She smiled a little. “That would be nice. She's a really nice pony, and a pretty good friend. I really home the ponies at home can start to see that again.”

Bon-Bon went quiet. She hadn't fully known all of this. She recalled that Berry had said something like that, but to hear Colgate more or less confirm that she was the ONLY friend Berry had anymore; that was hard to take. She thought about that for a moment. “Are you sure about that?” she looked at Colgate with uncertainty.

Colgate nodded. “I've been paying attention. The last pony to actually visit her aside from me stopped by a month ago. Hasn't been back since.”

“What about Pinkie Pie?” Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow.

She shook her head. “She's been too busy as of late to swing by. I mean, sure she's everypony's friend, but it's not like she has time to visit and hang out with every pony in Ponyville.” she paused. “Okay, she kinda does, but it's still been a long time since she and Berry had a chance to hang out.”

“I see.” Bon-Bon looked thoughtfully at the ground. “I had no idea...”

Colgate shook her head gently. “Most ponies don't. So don't feel too bad that you didn't. Just like most ponies don't realize that she's actually pretty self-conscious about her drinking habits.”

“How do you know all of this?” Bon-Bon asked. As she did so, she spotted what looked like a good vine for rope. “Also, could you grab that vine up there? It looks to be the right width.” She pointed up with a hoof, and felt a lovely shot of pain for it.

Colgate looked up, wrapped the vine with her magic, and gave it a hard yank. The branches rustled, and some water fell on their heads, but it remained in place. “Well, you see, we've been friends for a really long time. We actually met-” she paused as she gave it another hard yank. It still didn't come loose, but Bon-Bon saw that it had gained some slack.

“Keep trying. I can tell you are making good progress.” Bon-Bon said, keeping a cautious eye on it.

Colgate nodded. “-way back in kindergarten. She was one of the few ponies who didn't care about my cutiemark.”

“I take it the other foals did.” Bon-Bon responded, moving slowly to the side as Colgate gave the vine another hard tug.

“Yeah. They kinda teased me about it.” she grunted, and frowned slightly. “Anyway, she didn't and that was winning points in my book, and we've been friends ever since.”

Bon-Bon looked at her with some envy. She wished that she could remember the first time she met Lyra. But, as far as she could remember, they'd always been together.

“What about you two? How long have you two known each other?” Colgate asked as she gave another hard tug, this one with a bit more force then before.

Bon-Bon thought for a moment. “I actually don't know. As far as I can remember, we've always known each other.”

“Really?” Colgate turned to look at her in surprise.

“Yeah.” Bon-Bon said distantly.

“Wow. And how long it that?” she asked as she dug in her hooves, let out a snort and tugged hard with her magic.

Bon-Bon wasn't fully sure, but she had a decent idea. “I think it's been-”

And then a pony fell right on top of her.

Author's Note

So, I couldn't help but notice that it had been exactly one month since I've updated. Goodness, I'm a silly one!

Pity it was I didn't even leave off on a good cliff-hanger either.

Still, have a bit more. I wrote it with love. Love and :coolphoto:
Sadly, that's a lie. I'm no wizard, or else I would have sent this back into the past to upload it the day after the previous installment. But such is life.

Chapter Three: Part Six

Chapter Three: Part Six

Berry watched as the two of them left, feeling slightly miffed for being given guard duty. Not the worst job she's ever had, but not far from it. It's just that it's so boring. Not only that, once the other two left her sight, as well as ear-shot, she suddenly became very aware that she was all alone in a very big, and most likely very dangerous swamp. Not truly alone, but might as well be, for Lyra's blank stare told her that she wasn't going to be worth too much to talk to. Pity really. Lyra's drunk-speak was simply beautiful. It had been a long time since she'd encountered a pony who could speak that language with such eloquence and grace. The last time she had encountered a pony like that was a random farmer who'd she bumped into during one her many parties in Canterlot. She couldn't recall her name or where she was from, but goodness did she know how to drunk-speak. Didn't she have a brown hat? Or was it a brown coat?

Berry was a little sad. If only Lyra wasn't sedated. Her once gorgeous speech had devolved to nothing more then giggly-gurgling noises. It was rather silly to listen too, but not enough to break the funk Berry suddenly found herself feeling. That and Lyra's drooling didn't do much to improve Berry's mood either.

She sat down and looked around. The swamp was as unpleasant as could be. It smelled rather funky (it actually smelled rather wretched, but since Berry's sense of smell was broken from years of smelling her own breath, she couldn't quite make out that part of the smell), and the constant gloom was depressing. Everything was wet, and if not wet, then damp. She, as well as everypony else, was soaked to the bone with filthy water, and she was pretty sure that mosquitoes were the most abundant form of life here. She had long ago given up on the hope that she would be able to keep them off, and resigned to being eaten alive. There were fallen tree logs covered with moss, water that was varying shades of sickly green, and at the edge of her vision, what looked like little lantern lights hopping and bouncing about. All of them seemed to call to her, beckoning her to follow. Thankfully, she had been warned ahead of time, and knew to simply stay put. Still, she was tempted. After all, anything had to be better then sitting there, waiting to be eaten by who knows what, guarding a boring drunk.

It was times like this she wish she had a drink.

She shook her head. Now was not the time for such things! She had an important duty to preform, and by Joe's Doughnuts (best place to get a jelly-filled doughnut this side of Canterlot by the way) she was gonna do it! Even if the sound of a twig falling into some water made her jump into the air. She looked around frantically, trying to figure out what it was, and where it came from.

“Lyra! Did you hear that?” she asked suddenly, then felt rather silly for so doing. After all, Lyra was in no condition to respond. “Yeah … nevermind.” she sighed and sat down again. The only response she heard was that odd hum-gurgle that Lyra had begun to do again, although something sounded different about it this time. She raised an eyebrow and turned to look at her. “Lyra-”

She saw Lyra lying on her back, her horn glowing, and above her head, suspended by magic, was a large orb of swamp water. Berry gasped as Lyra slurred an eloquent , then dropped the whole orb into her waiting mouth.

And that's about when reality broke, for Lyra anyway. As for Berry, she dove to intercept the water, but was just a little too slow as the orb entered Lyra's mouth, who then gulped the whole thing in one mighty gulp. Berry, not to be defeated by water, slammed Lyra in the chest in an effort to get her to spit it back out. It almost worked too, if not for the fact that she suddenly saw Lyra's magic wrap around the ejected water and force it back down her throat. “OH COME ON!” she cried as she slammed her chest again. The water came out once more, and moving quickly, she planted her hoof onto Lyra's mouth to keep it shut. She grinned as she looked at the orb of water that now hung suspended in the air, just above Lyra's face.

It then flashed, and disappeared.

Berry blinked a few times. Then looked down. She saw the glow of Lyra's magic radiating from Lyra's own tummy. D-Did she just teleport the water directly into her stomach? She watched in one part fascination and two parts horror as the glow began spreading throughout her body. She watched as Lyra's veins began to glow as the magic began spreading through her body. Berry had to admit, it would have looked pretty cool if she wasn't so horrified by what was happening.

“L-Lyra!” she cried. What could she do? Was there anything she could do? Think! There must be something she could do! She looked around, a bit of panic filling her mind. This is bad, this is really bad! She tried to calm her mind (and nerves for that matter), but try as she might she simply couldn't as panic began filling her mind.

If only she had a drink to calm her nerves!

She felt a soft touch against her hoof, and looked down with a panicked expression. There it was, the bottle, sitting there, conveniently next to her hoof. Why, even the top had been removed and it was full of fluid ripe and ready for the drinking. It was even cold to the touch.

But no! No power in Equestria could get him to drink that bottle again! No power whatso-

Oh, rats…

*****

Bon-Bon let out a terrible cry of pain as she suddenly became the landing pad of the mysterious pony who had just dropped in on them. Said cry, however, was lost in a nice puddle of swamp mud as Bon-Bon's face had been planted into it as she had opened her mouth. Thus, Colgate was woefully unaware that Bon-Bon really could use another shot of Novocaine. That aside, there was the matter of the pony who'd just fell on her.

“Oh gosh! Are you okay? Here, let me hel-”

“No! I, Photo Finish, am perfectly fine!” the pony replied as she scrambled to her hooves.

Colgate's jaw dropped. Did she just say Photo Finish? THE Photo Finish? She looked her up and down. The pony before her did indeed match the pictures of Photo Finish. She also looked much like the pony who had come to Ponyville. White mane, striped top, teal coat, and giant glasses to match her scarf. It was all there. She even sounded like her. “PHOTO FINISH?” she exclaimed. “How-why-when-what-”

“Silence!” Photo held a hoof to Colgate's lips. “I, Photo Finish, have come into dis place to see my beloved!”

“Your what?” Colgate tilted her head in disbelief.

“My beloved! 'e is here! He lives in this very swamp!” she exclaimed, throwing a hoof rather dramatically into the air.

“Okay...” Colgate took a step back. She was stunned. THE actual Photo Finish was right here, right in front of her! She'd been something of a fan of Photo's work for some time now, and even humored the odd dream or two of being a model of hers. “I didn't know you had a special somepony.”

Photo adjusted her over-sized glasses as she paused. “It is true. I have seen to it that few ponies know.”

“Why?” Colgate was even more surprised. Photo Finish had a special somepony? Sure, it was strange enough to run into her in the middle of a swamp, but now this? If she had known that this quest for the Legendary Lost Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters would involve such strange events, she would have asked a journalist to accompony her and Berry.

“Ze scandal! Ze rumors! 'e would never be safe from the prying eyes of the press! So, I have kept it a secret! And now you will too!” Photo said, pointing a hoof at Colgate. Thankfully, her tone was more of matter-of-fact, as though she knew that Colgate would respect her wishes, rather then a threat or a command.

“O-okay. Sure.” She had to admit, this would have made for some very juicy gossip, but she respected the mare and her work, so shut her mouth would stay.

“Danke.” Photo nodded.

“Uh, gesundheit?” Colgate replied, not entirely sure what Photo had just said. Photo simply shook her head. Then there was a pause. “So,” Colgate said to break the awkward moment, “you met him in a swamp? What were the two of you doing here?”

Photo struck a dramatic pose. “It is a tale of daring!” She shifted her position. “A tale of romance! And above all, a tale of FASHION!” She stomped a hoof for emphasis, causing the ground that she stood on to suddenly tremble and dozens of bubbles to appear in the mud. She and Colgate both looked down.

“Bon-Bon!” Colgate cried. Her unfortunate friend was all but unrecognizable now that she was almost completely submerged in the mud.

“Ach!” Photo cried, then jumped off of her. “I am sorry little pony! I did not see you there!”

Both Colgate and Photo grabbed Bon-Bon and pulled her out of the mud and laid her on her side. Bon-Bon gasped as she spat out mud and took a deep breath.

“Bon-Bon! Are you alright?” Colgate looked her up and down, her eyes full of worry and concern.

“Peachy.” Bon-Bon said with unamused eyes.

“You are not fine! You need a doctor! Come, we go!” Photo said so suddenly and with such curtness that Colgate did a double take.

“Wait, wait. A doctor? Where?” Colgate raised an eyebrow.

“You do not know of the Doctor of Hayseed?” Photo asked, raising an eyebrow of her own.

Bon-Bon moaned. “Only rumors...” she manged to say

“Bah! You come to Hayseed, and you do not know of the Doctor? Did you come into this place blind?” she asked, rather rudely if you ask me.

“Wh-what?” Colgate asked, rather surprised by Photo's sudden change in manners.

“Bah! We have no time to waste sitting here! Come, I will take you to him!” She turned on the spot, and began marching off.

“H-hold on!” Colgate shouted after her. “We've got two more friends! Not to mention Bon-Bon here can't even move!”

“Yes I can. Though it's more of a painful twitching really...” Bon-Bon smiled weakly.

Photo stopped and turned around. She looked at the two of them for several moments. From Colgate's perspective, it looked as though she was just staring at the two of them at once. Though she figured her eyes were darting back and forth between the two of them. Much like that time when the medical examiner was staring right into her soul as she started listing things off that she had done wrong with the test sample they were working with that day. Though she could see the examiner's eyes, and they were fixed firmly on her, she got the distinct impression that said examiner was able to look at both her and the rather sorry-looking sample.

“They can walk, yes?” Photo asked, knocking Colgate out her thoughts.

“One can, the other can not.” Bon-Bon said.

“I see.” Photo said simply. “You stay here, I go find help!” She turned sharply, and walked off into the swamp.

“Bon-Bon…” Colgate stared at the spot where Photo had just disappeared into the swamp. “Did that just happen?”

“Did Photo Finish really just fall out of a tree and walk off into a swamp to find a doctor to treat me? Yes. Yes it did Colgate.” Bon-Bon didn't sound too good, given the levels of pain Colgate could hear in her voice. “To be honest, I was afraid that I had eaten some of the swamp mud and was seeing things.”

“What should we do? Should we follow her?” Colgate asked.

“Well, no offense Colgate, but I doubt your ability to carry me far, as well as my ability to walk. So, barring Lyra making a miraculous recovery, and/or Berry drinking that bottle again, I think we're stuck waiting here until she gets back.”

Colgate harrumphed, and sat on the ground quite grumpily. Granted, Bon-Bon had a point, but she didn't need to say it like that! “Fine. But when she comes backs, I'm getting some answers!” she frowned a frown. “It just doesn't make any sense. Why would a pony like Photo Finish be in the middle of a swamp like this?”

“And stuck in a tree.” Bon-Bon too looked as though she was deep in thought. That or excruciating pain. Colgate couldn't quite tell based on her expression.

And it was about at this point when Berry came crashing through the swamp, tripped over Bon-Bon, landed on his backside, slid on the ground, stopped at Colgate's hooves, and cried: “LYRA'S SEEING VISIONS!”

Author's Note

And then Berry was a boy, again.

Also: I'm not even going to make an excuse this time. It's not so much that I'm lazy per say, it's just that I'm not very good at this update thing. And while I would love to promise updating more frequently, I'm not a pony who, at this time, is very good at keeping such promises. So, to those who still follow despite myself, I thank you.

Also: I have a confession to make. I like cartoon ponies.

Chapter Three: Part Seven

Chapter Three: Part Seven

The stars. So far, yet so close. She could almost each out and touch them. They danced and bounced and bobbed up and down. She watched as they moved all about her, some moving with ease and with nary a care in the universe. Others flew past her with great speed, occasionally crashing into, and then briefly melding with, other stars. She reached a hoof to try and touch one, but it eluded her grasp. She turned her head, and saw her mane dragging slowly behind. It was so pretty like this, floating about. It reminded her of being in water. It was also longer then normal. It flowed through the emptiness of space, almost shimmering. The more she looked at it, the longer and longer it seemed to grow, until it was almost as though it became a great highway, or even a river, of teal and white extending into the never-ending cosmos. Her tail too was long and elegant. It was so pretty. She could see stars now flying through her hair, leaving small sparkles in their wake.

She had no idea what was going on, but she liked it. Everything around her seemed peaceful, quiet, and so very beautiful. She had no control over her drift, she just simply floated about, looking this way and that. She looked up at her horn, and saw that it too had changed. It had elongated, and narrowed, reminding her much of Princess Celestia's horn. She looked down at her coat. It had become somewhat translucent, and it too had small motes of light here and there, almost like little stars that shined from her body. You know, if she had changed this much…

She looked at her back, and, sadly, there were no wings. Oh well, at least she was a pretty star pony. She had that much going for her. She idly wondered if Princess Luna looked like this from time to time. What she should have been doing was wondering why it was she was in space to begin with, to say nothing of her magical growing hair and her starry skin. Or, you know, the bit about there being no air to breath in space. But those were small details. Trivial really. Still, she was mildly curious as to what was going on. After all, it's not every day one becomes one with the stars.

Well, for Lyra it isn't anyway. For her, this kind of thing only happens once in a blue moon. Mostly because when the moon becomes blue, her magic tends to get rather funky, and her dreams that night get really quite strange. A lot of them do get kinda spacy, like this, but never so coherent, nor pleasant. Plus, she was pretty sure she was still awake. So, when she wasn't memorized by all of the pretty, pretty stars, she was curious as to what was happening (which didn't happen much, as the stars were very distracting).

Which is partly why she didn't hear Luna's voice at first.

“Huh…?” she slowly turned her head as her mind slowly processed that something had been said.

“...feel ready?” a distant, yet authoritative voice said. It sounded somewhat familiar.

“Do, I … what?” Lyra asked, rather slowly. It seemed that everything she did felt oddly numbed. The odd sensation slowed everything down for her. So it took her easily twice as long, if not three times as long, for her to do anything that would be easy for anypony else to do. Even thinking felt slow.

“Do. You. Feel. Ready?” the voice said, carefully saying each word, and pausing slightly between them.

Once the words had sunk in, Lyra finally replied, “I feel pretty. Does that count?” she tried to smile, but was unsure if her mouth moved or not.

“It is a step. Do you feel ready to perform your next task?” the voice asked again. Arrgg! Who's voice was it?! Ugh! Her name was right there on the tip of Lyra's tongue.

“Uh, sure? Who are you?” it took her forever to say.

“It is I, Princess Luna.” her voice said, clear as a bell.

“Princess Luna?” Lyra's rather thick mind was not quite ready to react to the sudden presence of royalty. Thus, when the Princess appeared before her, she simply stared at her with something akin to a vacant stare.

Princess Luna raised an eyebrow. “Thou dost not bow before thy Princess? We are intrigued by this, but it matters little. Are you ready?” she asked, her face cool and calm.

It was about this time the reaction to bow was roughly half-formed, and thus Lyra's head began to slowly sink, as her eyes slowly looked down as well. “Your Highness...” she said, her thoughts coming to her at a snail's pace. “I'm ready for anything you command. What do you want me do?” she asked.

Princess Luna's face remained mostly unchanged, though Lyra got the feeling that she was pleased by that answer (or, at least, she sure hoped she was). “We had hoped that you would already know that answer, but seeing that you do not know, We shall tell you. First, We must tell you that you are not asleep.”

She paused for several moments after that. Good thing too, 'cause it took FOREVER for what she said to sink into Lyra's head. “Oh...” she said some what stupidly, “Then how…?”

“Nor are you fully awake.” she said as though she had been anticipating the question. “We do not know exactly why it is We can speak with you, but We saw it as a perfect chance to offer Our assistance. Do you remember the Queen of the Spiders?” she asked, her gaze and expression ever unchanging.

“Her?” Yeah, I do. She was kinda nice. Why?” Lyra inquired (after several moments of slow brain reactions).

“My sister and I believe it is she that possesses that which you seek.” Princess Luna began walking in a slow circle around Lyra, who, despite her rather … sluggish … attempts to change her free floating position, was unable to right herself.

“My present for Bon-Bon?” Lyra asked, half-serious. It had been Bon-Bon's birthday (well, not her REAL birthday [then again, that Bon-Bon was long gone, so that date doesn't really matter anymore], but that was beside the point) a few days ago, and Lyra had forgotten it entirely. So, in an attempt to apologize, she had gotten her a rather lovely gift (expensive too), that Lyra had promptly misplaced. In fact, it never even made it back to home. Colt was she surprised when she had opened that sack and found it empty! (Spoilers: the sack had a small hole in it that the gift fell through, that was then found by a kind pegasus who had promptly picked it up and had taken it to Lyra's home … if said home had been on the other side of Ponyville, which it was not.)

Princess Luna stopped walking for a moment and simply stared at her. Though said stare was no different than her normal expression. After a moment or two, she resumed walking once more. “Our old toothbrush.” she said simply.

“OH! The Legendary Lost Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters! (Now with 3 easy payments of 9.99 bits, plus shipping and handling)” Lyra softly exclaimed.

Lyra caught Princess Luna rolling her eyes just as she walked behind her, causing Lyra to lose sight of the Princess. “Yes, the very same. Though why ponies call it that neither We, nor Our sister, will ever understand. But that is not the point. The point is that Colgate must reach the Toothbrush. It is of the utmost importance that she does, and that she does alone.”

“Wait, alone? Why? What's going on?” Lyra asked, feeling rather confused all of a sudden.

“Our sister tells Us that you are trustworthy, and so We shall tell you what We know.” she took a breath. “We do not saying more then is necessary, so We shall be brief. Long ago, before I was banished, before Discord came to our realm, My sister and I were approached by a unicorn who asked of us to hear what they had to say.”

While Lyra's brain was all kinds of funky and slow moving, she was far from stupid. “Was it Star Swirl?” she asked, eventually.

She saw the Princess nod as she walked once more into her view. “Correct. Although, it would be more accurate to say that it was,” she paused for a moment, hesitating both in word and step, before she continued, “That is was Colgate.”

*****

“So, allow me to understand what you are saying. First, you wandered into this swamp alone, correct?” the Hydra asked. Doc (as the Hydra had taken to calling him) nodded. The Hydra laughed softly to itself. “Right. Then you say you drank the water?”

“I was terribly thirsty you see.” Doc shrugged.

“My dear boy, I do hate to say this, but that was rather foolish.” the Hydra shook its third head (for that was the one that was talking, as the other three were were, in order, looking off to the side rather bored, staring at Time Turner hungrily, and last but not least, falling asleep).

“Oh. Was it?” Doc asked, cocking his head to the side curiously as he looked up at the large beast. You know, it wasn't bad. In fact, it was a rather cordial fellow. After a brief introduction in the which it introduced itself as Head Number Three (or Two, depending on how you wanted to look at it), it had produced two lovely cups of tea, and a nice sitting cushion for Doc to sit on.

It nodded its head. “Indeed it was old boy. But we'll get to that in a moment. So, after that, you say you followed the lanterns, then some 'Fungee Ponees', ate some mud, then ended up here at my doorstep. Do I follow correctly?”

Doc tapped his chin with a hoof in thought. “Ummm, sounds about right, I think.”

The Hydra let out a bemused snort. “Charming. You remember that much, yet you have no recollection of who you are, where you came from, or where you are going. Or, for that matter, why you even came here in the first place.”

“It's simply the strangest thing, isn't it?” he said with a smile on his face.

The Hydra laughed. “Well, at least you're a good sport about it all! I can't say I've seen too many ponies who've been in your situation and found it amusing.”

“Really? Does this happen often?” Doc asked, suddenly curious as to what may have become of them.

The Hydra shook its head. “No, not that often. Most of the time Ponies either come into the swamp prepared and knowing better then to eat and drink the floor, or they run screaming from my approach.”

Doc raised an eyebrow. “Really? Why is that? I can't see for the life of me why they would. You seem like such a nice, uh, guy? Lady? Hydra?” he asked.

The Hydra smiled. “Guy. That is, I am male. The heads next to me are both female, and the last is male as well.”

“REALLY?” Doc said excitedly. “Simply fascinating! How does that work?” he asked, looking at each of the heads in turn.

“With lots of bickering.” the Hydra sighed.

“Trouble with the old siblings, eh?” Doc smiled, taking a sip of tea.

He smiled. “Well, when you can't ever walk away from them, they do get kind of, well...” he looked to both sides of himself, “old. I'd ask if you have any siblings, but I'd offer a wager that you wouldn't know.”

“And I's wager that you're correct.” Doc nodded, his mind drawing a complete blank.

“Well, on the bright side, there is a good thing that has come of you eating that mud. If you hadn't then we wouldn't be able to talk to each other right now.” he nodded.

“Wait, what?” Doc looked at him perplexed.

“Well you see ol' chap, this swamp's enchanted. The various microbes and other such things that live in the mud aside,” he then leaned in close, “all of which, by the way, contain hallucinogenic properties,” he then leaned back, and took a sip from his cup, “any pony, note I said 'pony', who drinks of it also undergoes a few small changes. One of which is the transfer of understating one species to another. That is, but drinking the mud, you gained the ability to understand my words.”

“But I can't talk to other ponies?” Doc ventured.

He nodded. “I like you, sharp as a tack. Yes, if you were to try and talk to other ponies right now, they would think you mad or perhaps bewitched. Which,” he chuckled, “isn't entirely wrong. But that's not the point. You also became, at least temporarily, one of the denizens of the swamp.”

“So, for all intents and purposes, I'm a swamp creature?” Doc asked, one part curious, one part mildly thrilled.

“Indeed! That's why my dear sister here didn't eat you on sight! And why I was able to tell that you were in trouble. You see, to my eyes, ponies look like tasty snacks. Though I am civilized enough to refrain from doing such barbaric things. My siblings however...” he glanced left and right, “are much less so. Made going through medical school rather, awkward, as you could imagine.”

“Medical School?!” Doc exclaimed. Then paused. “Uh, what's that?” he asked.

He laughed. “Right! I forgot. Well, long story short, it's a place where one goes to learn how to become a doctor, or, if you will, a professional who helps creatures heal up and feel better.”

“Oh! So is that what a doctor does? Doe that mean I'm a pony who makes others feel better?” Doc asked, looking to the sky in thought.

“Most of the time. Though sometimes 'doctor' is more of a title then a profession. That might be the case for you. But I do declare that we digress. I am a medical professional, and you clearly are in need of some medical attention.” he sat up, and began looking at Time closely. He stretched his neck to the sides of Time, as well as behind him.

“Where was this place you went to?” Doc asked as he was being examined.

“Does the name 'Canterlot' ring a bell?” he asked as he asked Doc to raise one of his legs so he could look at it.

“No, I can't say it does.” he shook his head, raising another leg for examination.

“Pity really. Lovely place. It is, after all, where your Princesses reside.” he commented as Doc opened wide to allow the Hydra to look into his mouth.

“So, I take it it's a place full of ponies? And you lived there?” Doc asked the Hydra leaned back with a thoughtful look on his face (he was pretty sure that if the Hydra had a hoof, he would have tapped his chin with it.)

“Yes … quite so.” he said, somewhat distracted as he looked at Doc intensely.

“So, if it was full of ponies, and your siblings look at ponies like food, how did you manage?”

“It was rather simple actually.” he answered. “Sit tight for a moment, I need to grab a tonic. I shan’t be long.” he then turned around, and thundered off into the trees. A moment later Doc could hear the sounds of the Hydra talking to himself as it began saying what sounded like various names that were overly complicated to say. What a curious creature it was indeed. Then again, he found everything around him most curious. He simply looked around with wide-eyed wonder. The whole world it seemed was fascinating and simply fantastic to behold.

His head suddenly snapped back to the trees as he heard crashing sounds once more. The Hydra lumbered in, a small sack hanging from his mouth. He lowered his head, and placed the sack on a dry patch of ground near Doc. “What's in there?” he asked, pointing a hoof at it.

“It's three different concoctions I've made. You see, to answer your question from earlier, I ate the mud. Or, rather, I made mud from Equestrian soil, then ate it. You see, since I'm native from here, the mud does not have quite the same effect on me. However, thankfully, Equestian mud does. It even has the added effect of being a mild sedative to my siblings. Well, to be more accurate, it made them feel not as hungry, and made it so that ponies didn't look like food. As for me, it allowed me to communicate with my professors and fellow students. Though it did have the side effect of increased appetite...” he chuckled. “I'll admit, I got a little chubby while I was attending school. As for what is in the bag: since I've come home from my studies, I've done quite a bit of work with the mud and the flora and fauna around here. And so, I've distilled three different solutions for you. One, will allow the effects of the water to be cured. By the way, NEVER drink the water. There is simply nothing good that comes of it. Another is extract of Equestian soil, which should restore you back to normal. Though, personally, I would recommend waiting until you leave the swamp before you drink any of it. The last is Hayseed soil extract, which will do exactly what the mud did, without the memory lost bit. I suspect that happened because you drank the water.” the Hydra said, slowly and carefully to ensure that Doc understood him. “Now then, about payment.”

“Payment?” Doc's head tiled to the side once more. Payment? What was-

“Oh by Celestia's sun! You don't even know what payment is?” if he had arms, Doc was pretty sure he would have thrown them up into the air.

“Is it bad?” Doc asked, his ears falling back as he could feel tension building in the air.

“Oh no no no. Well, not for me anyway. It's quite good. For you, it might be. After all, I can't just offer my tonics and my services for free, now can I?” He shook his head, then looked down at him with a grin.

“Uhhh … you can't?” Doc nervously sat up and began backing away.

“I'm afraid not, my dear boy. Now then, what can you give me for compensation for both goods and services rendered?” he grinned all the more and took a few steps toward him.

“I, uh, don't have anything...” he said weakly.

“A real pity...” the Hydra said, grinning with his rather long and sharp teeth (which, surprisingly enough, were rather white and well cared for).

“P-please don't eat me...” he said as he felt sweat beginning to run down his face.

The other heads turned and looked at him, their faces now full of hunger as he licked his teeth, “Come cone now, old boy…. What kind of doctor eats his patients?”

*****

“Say what?” Lyra wasn't sure she heard that right.

“Did you not understand what We said?” Luna paused and turned her head to look at her once more.

Lyra shook her head. “No, I got ya, but that doesn't make any sense. That would mean-”

“That Colgate is well over a thousand years old.” Luna finished matter-of-factually as she began walking once more. “This is not completely true, nor is it completely false. She is...” Luna paused again, this time stopping entirely. Then she shook her head. “I am sorry Lyra Heartstrings. My sister may have complete trust in you, but I fear that We do not. Do not feel that this is your fault. We are … slow … to trust. It took much time for me to trust my sister again...” Luna said, her voice softer, and a bit sad. Even her expression had softened a little. Then she straightened up, and her face was back to the expressionless gaze that it had been so far. “But that is not important. What is that Colgate needs to get to that toothbrush, and you must now see to it that no other ponies, or any other creature, joins your little band, unless it is a decision that she has made. Do you understand?” Lyra nodded. “Good. Now then, the Spider Queen is resting at this time, and I have used what powers I have to make you presentable to her. Your task, Lyra Heartstrings, is to speak with her in her dreams, and convince her to give Colgate, or at least allow Colgate to get, the toothbrush. Can We trust you in this task?” Luna asked, looking directly into her eyes.

Lyra slowly saluted. “Yes your highness. I, uh, just need a little more time to get rea-”

She never did quite finish that sentence, for in a flash of light that had erupted from the Princess's horn, Lyra had found herself in a very different place. She found herself in a large chamber, covered head-to-hoof in spiders, and their young. There were millions of them. She couldn't even see any walls or a ceiling, or even a floor there were so many spiders covering them (though the fact that she was hovering slightly above the ground she found made that point moot). She looked around. She saw that she was dressed as though she was attending the Gala, though all of her attire looked as though Princess Luna herself had made it from the night sky, using Lyra's colors. Besides that, she saw that all of the spiders looked simply adorable! Not only that, they made the cutest chittering noises as they moved all about.

She looked straight ahead. There, in the center of it all, on a humble throne, sat a beautiful pony. She was dressed in a lovely gown, and, contrary to what Lyra had expected, there was not a single spider web or spider motif on her. She was dressed in an old prehistoric style, though it sure didn't look that way when she wore it. She was slightly smaller then Princess Luna, but carried all of the royal and regal grace and body that the sisters themselves carried. Though, curiously, Lyra noticed that she was an Earth Pony.

The pony was clearly unaware of Lyra's presence, as she was busy talking to the various spiders that sat on her throne with her as a mother would her little baby. In fact, if it hadn't been for the fact that she was dressed the part, and that she had been told as such, Lyra wouldn’t have thought her to be a queen. At least, not right at this moment. Unsure as to how announce her presence, she softly cleared her throat. No reaction.

Most other ponies would have, at this point, tired the same thing, though a little louder. Or perhaps said something to the effect of 'Excuse me?' rather softly and/or timidly. Lyra, however, was the kind of pony to do something else.

“YO! QUEEN EIGHT LEGS! YO!” Lyra shouted, waving her hooves in the air. “It's me again!”

The Queen raised her head, surprisingly unphased from Lyra's shouting. “Oh, hello again Ms. Pennyfeather. Are you well?” she asked sweetly, though now with the regal grace befitting a queen.

Lyra smiled. “I sure am. So, got a second to talk?”

The Queen looked around, contemplating. “I am asleep, am I not?” she looked at Lyra curiously.

“That's what Princess Luna told me.” Lyra shrugged.

“Hummm. Well, I don't know who this Princess Luna is, but I know who you are. So, Ms. Pennyfeather, what brings you to my subconscious mind today?” she smiled as she sat up to face her.

Lyra took a deep breath, then asked: “Do you know anything about a lost and/or legendary toothbrush?”

Author's Note

Upon relfection, I'm not sure a dress made from the night sky using Lyra's colors would look all that lovely. Oh well. Such is life. :pinkiehappy:

Chapter Three: Almost Part Eight

Chapter Three: Almost Part Eight

“Oh fer cryin' out loud! Are ya kinddin' me?” Applejack stomped a hoof on the ground. The guard before her gave her a slightly sympathetic look, but did not move. “Just let me in, would ya?” she asked again.

“I'm sorry mam. I can't let anypony in.” The guard said, shaking his head. “Well, just anypony off the street. This is the royal palace after all.”

“I've been here! I've met with the Princesses a' bunch ah' times! I'm friends with Princess Twilight!” Applejack protested.

“I'm sorry miss. I simply can't. I have my orders.” he shook his head once again.

“Oh for cryin' out loud! You gotta let me in! Twilight sent me here to talk ta Princess Celestia!” Applejack pointed a hoof at the grand castle that lay beyond the front gate.

“No can do miss.” The guard eyed her carefully. She wasn't sure why, but it almost looked like he was getting ready for something to happen. Something like a fight. Granted, if Applejack had been aware of the growing frustration and anger on her face, then she might have been a bit more understanding. As it was, she didn't have a mirror, so she was unaware of just how hostile her mug now looked. Then of course, there was the bit where she had to somehow convince the ponies at the crystal train station that her bits were real bits and not counterbits. After that there was the debacle on the train where the conductor had come by several times to check that she had a ticket, and nearly stopped the train several times to 'make her walk the rest of the way'. Then there was the part where she had to argue with the luggage ponies at the end that her bags were indeed hers and that she would not need to ride all the way back to the Crystal Empire to get the bags she might have left behind (spoilers: she didn't leave any behind). After that she had to deal with a surprising lack of taxis in Canterlot (there were plenty, but for some odd reason, they all seemed to be filled) as she tried to make her way over to the palace. And now that she had finally made it, there was a guard pony who refused to let her in.

This day just kept getting better and better.

Oh, and did we forget to mention that it was an overnight trip to get here? And, for some odd reason, every, single, bed on the train was taken? It was simply the darnedest thing! But we digress.

“Look, I've gone through too much trouble to turn back now. You'd best be lettin' me in!” she pointed a hoof at the guard, who straightened up and narrowed his eyes slightly.

“And if I say no?” he asked, a clear warning in his voice.

“Then you'll be answerin' to the Princess as 'ta why you didn't let one of Twilight's friends into the palace when she had somethin' important to talk to them about!” Applejack stomped a hoof on the ground and gave him a glare.

“Yes, I'm sure.” He kept his gaze on her, but relaxed slightly. “And it wouldn't matter if I let you in anyway.” he shrugged.

“What? Why?” Applejack demanded.

“I don't know if you heard, but Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza are holding a private conference and are allowing no visitors until they conclude it, no exceptions.” he sneered at her as he said that last part, clearing rubbing in the futility of her request.

“But this is important!” she shouted.

“No. Exceptions.” His grin grew even snider and he leaned back, clearly enjoying himself.

Applejack nearly blew a fuse. “FINE!” she screamed, and turned around and walked back to her massive pile of luggage, which was some distance away from the front gate. She was normally a light traveler, but she had been told to pack heavy because she was going to be gone for a long time. She let out a sigh and sat down on the paved sidewalk. Now what? She had come this far, and now it seemed like she was stuck. Could she perhaps sneak in? She could wait until dark. Though where would she put all of her stuff? She neighed, angrily.

“Whatcha doin'?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh nothin', ju-PINKIE?” Applejack looked up and jumped back with a start. “Wha-what in tarnation?”

Pinkie cocked her head in confusion. “What? I just saw one of my best buds lookin' blue, so I thought I'd just come on over and see if I could put a smile on her face!” she said happily.

“Well, I mean, what are y'all doin' here in Canterlot?” she asked, looking around to see if there was a party or some such that needed throwing.

“Oh, you didn't know? There's this pony duo that's flying around looking for the five of us! Ooh! Did they talk to you too!?” Pinkie hopped up in down, far too cheery for Applejack's foul mood.

Wait, was she talking about those two? “Are y'all talkin' about a yellow pegasus and an Earth Pony?”

Pinkie nodded. “The Earth Pony even had a magical lolipop around her neck! It was grape!” Pinkie smiled.

“Uh, Pinkie...” Applejack hesitated for a moment, “How'd you know that? Did you taste it?”

“Huh? What? No! It was purple colored! Unless it was Twilight flavored...” she put a hoof to her chin and looked into the sky, “I wonder what that would taste like...”

“Magical, I'm sure.” Applejack said flatly.

Pinkie looked off into the sky for a moment or two more before looking down at Applejack once more. “So, whatcha doin?” she asked again.

“Well, Imma tryin' ta get into the palace here, but that guard over there won't let me in!” Applejack pointed a hoof over at the gate, and a guard who gave them a cheeky grin.

“Well that's weird! I wonder what's up with that?” Pinkie looked over at the guard curiously.

“Somethin' about the Princesses not allowin' visitors or somethin'.” Applejack sighed.

“Humm...” Pinkie rubbed her chin with her hoof some more, and her eyes narrowed. “HUMMM...” she said even louder as her eyes got even narrower and her gaze more intense. “HUMM-” she said even louder, though was stopped by Applejack placing a hoof on her shoulder.

“Whatcha thinkin', Pinkie?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie jumped a little and looked over at her. “Nothing!” she grinned.

Applejack let out an exasperated sigh. “Well now what?” she asked, looking at the gate once more.

“I guess we could wait for the others-WAIT! We could have a waiting party! A 'waiting for everypony to show up at the castle gate and talk to the guard to let us in to talk to the Princesses' party! Ooh, Oooh! I'll go get the streamers!” Pinkie said excitedly, then shot off like a rocket into the city.

“Wait! Pinkie!” Applejack shouted, but too late. She was gone. “Well, shoot. Whatta am ah' gonna do now?” she leaned up against her luggage and looked up to the sky. “Wait for everypony else, huh? Well, if Pinkie's sure they're commin' then I guess I'll just have to be patient.” she snorted. “Just wish I had some place to store all my stuff...”

*****

“Oh, my gosh! I. Can't. BELIEVE IT!” Rainbow cried as she shot through the sky. Her excitement was as intense as her speed. “ME! The Wonderbolts want ME to show them my Buccaneer Blaze! Oh my gosh, I can't believe it!” she squealed loudly. Loudly enough for a nest of ducks far below her to object to the sudden noise that split their ear drums. Though she had no idea, nor would she have cared. All she knew was that the Wonderbolts themselves had send an emergency message to her telling her that they needed to see her perform The Buccaneer Blaze, RIGHT NOW. Like, RIGHT NOW, right now. Like, she couldn't come quick enough right now.

Well, goodness knows she didn't need to be told twice. The moment she finished the message, and before the messenger could even finish explaining how strange the way he got the message was, she shot off faster then Opalescence out of the bath tub. So fast, that the pooy pony's hat got blown clean off and lost to the winds. Poor hat. May it rest in peace.

That was roughly a day ago. She'd been flying at top speed through the entire day, and through the entire night, and even now she sped as fast as her wings could carry her. Now, you see, the reason why she wasn't chillin' with the wonderbolts right now wasn't because they were far away or something like that, no.

She had no idea where they were.

She had stopped in, briefly, at Canterlot. Not there. So, she zipped over to Cloudsdale. Not there either. She, however, would not be deterred! They said that they needed her to show them her stuff, and by Celestia, she was going to do it!

So on she sped, tearing through the sky at break-neck speeds. Her wings ached, and her body was sore. Her eyes were becoming bloodshot, but on she still flew. She knew that it was only a matter of time until she'd find them! She just had to keep fly-

And then there was a sudden jolt of cranial pain, and all went dark.

*****

When she opened her eyes, she found herself lying on a cloud, rather haphazardly. In in all reality, it seemed as though she had just been tossed onto it. That, or perhaps she had fallen onto it, or even thrown into it. Whatever the case was, her limbs were all poking out at odd angles and her head was partly in the cloud, and partly hanging out. This was all beside the point, however. The biggest problem was the massive headache she suddenly found herself with. Not just that, it felt as though her whole body just got hit with a train. She twitched a few times. Yep, that smarts. She let out a low groan of pain. “Ow…” she moaned.

“You okay?” a rather pained, yet familiar voice said from nearby.

“Peach-” a shot of pain made her twitch, causing even more twitching. “No.” she said.

“Aw man, I hoped that cloud would break your fall.” the voice said, somewhat sad, and filled with pain. It was also a stallion's voice.

“Yeah, it did. Into a thousand pieces...” Rainbow groaned.

“Sorry about that.” the stallion also let out a painful groan, though he tried to conceal it.

“So, who are you?” she asked, trying to pull her head out of the cloud (not as easy as it sounds).

“Oh, you didn't see me? It's me, Soarin'.” he said painfully.

“SOARIN'?!” Rainbow shouted excitedly, shooting immediately to her hooves and looking around. On a nearby cloud, she saw him lying on it looking rather worse for the wear. Though at least he was simply lying on his side, rather then looking like he had crashed landed. “Oh my gosh! I'm so excited!” she zipped right over to his cloud, and hovered over him with the biggest smile she'd ever worn. “Were are the other Wonderbolts? Are you guys ready right now? Where do you want me to do it? You ready to see it?” She asked with great speed and excitement.

“Whoa! Slow down. One question at a time...” his visible eye rolled in pain.

“Okay, okay, okay.” Rainbow said more to herself then him. “Take a deep breath Rainbow.” she inhaled sharply, and suddenly remembered the terrible pain she was in. As well as how sore her wings were, and how tired her poor body was.

She took her breath, froze in the air, promptly dropped like a rock, bounced off of poor Soarin', rolled, then fell right off the side of his cloud.

“Rainbow!” Soarin' cried and jumped to his hooves. He, with great effort, pushed himself off the cloud. He then grabbed it, and flew with it after Rainbow. For her part, Rainbow was trying to flab her wings in an attempt to slow herself down. It didn't amount to much, but it did just enough to allow Soarin' to gain the ground he needed to catch her.

She landed hard on the cloud and yelped in pain. Soarin' landed on it next to her, and sat down. “That hurt...” she said softly.

“Tell me about it.” he said, flexing his wings, and his face contorting in pain as did so. “Man, you really know how to fly fast. You nearly knocked me clear out of the sky.”

“Wait, that's what happened?” she asked as she tried to glance over at him, but closed her eyes in pain.

“Yeah, I saw you coming and I flew up to say hi, and you plowed into me at full speed. Knocked us both right out. Luckily I recovered pretty quick.” she couldn't see it, but she was sure she heard a smile in that. “So I grabbed the closest cloud I could find and kicked it right under you. Then I passed out on a cloud that happened to be under it.”

“How long was I out?” she asked.

“No idea. I mean, I was out for a while too, I think.” if her eyes were open, she would have seen him shrug, and then wince.

There was silence for a moment, and she felt the cloud shift and he finally laid down on it as well. “So, where's Spitfire? Where's Fleetfoot and Rapidfire?” she asked, slowly. “Shouldn't they have taken us back to Cloudsdale or something?”

There was a long pause.

“Uh, Soarin'?” Rainbow asked.

“They're not here.” he said softly.

“Wait, what?” Rainbow's eyes shot open. She was a little confused, why wouldn't they be here? “You're out here by yourself?”

“Yeah, something like that.” he answered.

“Why?”

“… because I'm training.” he finally said.

“Training?” she asked. “By yourself? Wait, did you want to see my move so you could steal it?” Rainbow tried to raise her head to look at him, but couldn't. Another long pause. “Well?!” she asked, getting annoyed.

“No.” he said quietly.

“Then why were you training alone? Don't you guys normally do that as a team?” She was getting more and more confused, and a fair bit more irritated. “Well? What's going on?!” There was no response. “Soarin'?” Rainbow asked, suddenly concerned. “Soarin', you awake?”

“Yeah. I'm awake.”

“Well, you gonna answer me or what?” Rainbow said, very much annoyed by this point.

There was another pause. “Hey, do you remember the Best Young Flyer competition? The one where you saved our lives?” he said, his voice a bit distant.

Rainbow didn't notice and cracked a huge grin. “Do I? That was the best day ever!”

“Do you remember the day we all hung out after you flew with us?”

“Yeah. That was so awesome! I never knew you guys could fly like that! It was such a great day...” her eyes drifted off into the sky, as her mind's eye began to see her and the other Wonderbolts flying across it.

“And do you remember the GGG?”

“The Gala? Where you guys totally ignored me the entire time?” she playfully jabbed.

“Oh, yeah.... Sorry about that...” he said, clearly feeling bad about it.

“Hey, don't sweat it. I'm totally over it.” She (almost) shrugged. “Besides, I think you were a bit too busy with that pie of yours to notice anyway.” she would have given him a wink if she could.

“Oh yeah, that pie...” he said, his voice trailing off. Then he said no more. The two of them lay there, quiet, and in pain. Rainbow could feel a gentle breeze pass them over. It felt nice. But still he said nothing more.

“Hey, Soarin'? You alright?” she asked after some time.

“Do you remember when we were in the hospital together?” he asked.

“Why do you keep asking if I remember things? It's annoying!” she rolled her eyes (ow).

“Uh, sorry. Just … do you?”

“Yeah, I do. Why?” the concern that had begun to build up in the silence began to become irritation.

“You know, you really helped me out there. And, I just wanted to say thanks.” his voice was strange. It was a lot softer then normal, and it didn't have that playful edge to it.

“Wait, is that why you came all the way out here? To thank me?” she asked, trying her best to roll over. Not just yet. Just a little too much pain.

“Well, kinda...”

“Wait, was it YOU who sent me that message?” she asked, her eyes opening wide.

“Uh … yeah.” he said as though admitting guilt to a crime.

“Hold on. So you're saying that the Wonderbolts don't actually want to see me perform the Buccaneer Blaze?” her irritation was beginning to rise.

“Well, uh, I mean, I'm sure I could convince them...” he said, his mind clearly thinking about something else.

“Alright Soarin'. What's going on? Why are we here? And why didn't you just, oh I don't know, just tell me you wanted to talk or whatever?” Rainbow was getting rather upset that all of her energy had gone to waste.

“Well, uh, it's because...” he trailed off.

“Because what?! I've been flying around for two days! TWO DAYS STRAIGHT, looking for you guys, and all because YOU wanted to say THANK YOU?” Rainbow's anger was becoming stronger then the pain that kept her down, and she was slowly turning to look at him, her eyes rather intense. “WELL?” she forced herself to her hooves, and saw that Soarin' lay on the other side of the cloud, with his back to her.

“I, uh, it's just that...” he said, curling slightly. If he could have, he would have curled into a ball.

“WHAT IS I-” she said as she walked up to him and looked at his face.

He was blushing. He was blushing hard. And when his eye glanced up at her, it suddenly shot away from her and he blushed even deeper.

“Soarin', are you okay? You don't look so good.” she said as she brought her face closer to his to get a closer look. He nodded feebly. “So, what's going on?”

His visable eye looked back up at her. “Rainbow...” he hesitated, closed his eye, took a deep breath, then looked at her again. “Rainbow, I sent that because I really wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” she asked as she pulled he face back, to give him some room.

“Well, the thing is… Rainbow, I-I l-”

“LOST! I TOLD YOU WE WERE LOST!” another pony's voice shouted, drowning out Soarin's words.

“Well, if you had listened to me and stuck with the coast like she said, we wouldn't be lost!” another voice yelled back.

“Don't you tell me how to follow directions! It's YOU who forgot which way was north!” the first shouted.

“Don't Pegasus Ponies always know which way is north?!” the second shot back.

“That's just a myth! And I'll have you know that I specialize in doing paperwork! Not navigation! I'm not a cartographer!” the first said, clearly upset.

“Well, it's not my fault we got all mixed up! I'm not the one with wings!”

“HEY! HELP!” Rainbow cried. “HELLLP!”

“Wait, did you hear something?” the first said.

“Yeah. I think it was some pony crying for help. HELLO? WHERE ARE YOU?” the second cried. Now that they were speaking louder, Rainbow could tell that it was a mare shouting. And now that she was paying attention, she could tell that it was coming from below them.

“We're above you! Look up!” Rainbow cried as she looked over the ledge. She blinked. Was that an Earth Pony in a garbage pony outfit in a harness that was strapped to a yellow pegasus?

The two ponies below them looked up, and looked quite surprised to see them. The mare pointed up at the cloud, and the pegasus nodded, and flew up. “What's wrong?” she asked as they got closer.

“Me and Soarin' here are hurt pretty bad. Can you go get some help?” she asked as they got close.

“What? What happened?” she asked as the two of them lifted over the edge of the cloud.

“Soarin' and I ran into each other pretty hard. I don't think either of us can fly right now.” Rainbow said, her own body suddenly remembering her fatigue and injuries.

“Wait, is that THE Soarin'? The Soarin' of the Wonderbolts?” the mare asked she caught sight of him, both worried and excited.

“Yeah, it is. And I'm Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow smiled.

“Wait, you're Rainbow Dash?” the mare asked, her jaw suddenly dropping a bit.

“THE one and only!” Rainbow said proudly. “Heard of me, huh?” she smiled even more.

“Yeah! Princess Twilight told me all about you!” The mare said, a bit stunned and a bit excited. Though Rainbow got the feeling that she wasn't excited because of her awesomeness.

“Wait, you know Twilight?” Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah! She sent me on a mission to find you and your other friends!” she said happily.

“A mission? From Twilight? Why didn't she come herself?” Rainbow asked.

“Not to be rude, but can we hurry this up? You're rather heavy.” the pegasus said.

“Sorry! Yeah, my name's Litterbug, and Princess Twilight is being held prisoner at Vanhoover and she wants you and the others to ask the Princesses why. I've already talked to Pinkie Pie, Applesauce-”

“Applejack.” Rainbow said flatly.

“Er, right, sorry. Applejack, and Fluttershy. Anyway, Princess Twilight also wanted me to tell you that the Princesses gave all of you fake tasks to keep you apart.”

“Why?” Rainbow found all of this too be a bit fishy to put it mildly.

“I don't know. But the others we've talked to are already on their way to Canterlot.” Litterbug said, pointing behind her. (She didn't actually know where Canterlot was from here, but that was beside the point.)

“Wait, hold on, if that's true.” she turned to Soarin'. “Did Princess Celestia put you up to this?” she asked.

He shook his head. “No, it was Princess Cadence.” he admitted.

Rainbow blinked. Wow, he admitted that fast. “So, wait, you're telling me that what they're saying is true?”

Soarin' gave a very slight shrug. “I guess so.”

“WHAT?” she stepped back and looked between all three of them. “I gotta go help Twilight!” She said as she turned to fly off.

“But she wants you to meet with the others!” Litterbug said. “Besides, I've seen the place they're holding her. If you're gonna bust her out, you're going to need the help of your friends!” she waved her hooves about frantically (just as Twilight had told her to do. She had even recited the words she had taught her to say perfectly).

Rainbow paused and looked at her. She had a really good point. Plus, she was in no condition to fly to Vanhoover. In fact, she would be lucky enough if she could glide down to the nearest town, or train station. As much as she didn't like the idea of abandoning Twilight, meeting up with the rest of their friends was better then nothing. She let out a sigh, then turned to look at Soarin'. “Can you guys take care of him?” The two ponies looked at her with a bit of surprise, but nodded. “Thanks! I hate to leave ya like this, but my friends need me!” she opened her wings, and jumped off, quickly sliding into a long glide.

As she disappeared from view, Litterbug looked at Soarin'. “Can you stand, or fly?”

“Not really.” he said,

“Anything broken?” she asked.

“Just my heart...” he said sadly.

“Come again?” the pegasus asked.

“Princess Cadence told me that Rainbow liked me, and that if I told her how I felt, then...”

“You two could be a couple.” Litterbug guessed.

“Yeah.” he nodded.

“It is well known that she has command over the power of love. Did she perhaps use that to get to you feel this way?” the pegasus asked.

Soarin' hesitated. “I-I guess she could have.”

“Well then, I guess that solves that mystery. Looks like you were just acting under her influence.” the pegasus shrugged.

“Hey!” Litterbug turned to the pegasus that carried her. “Can we push his cloud to the closest town?”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. But you're going to have to follow along on the ground! I can't both carry and push. I'm no Iron Pony!”

“I can do that!” Litterbug smiled, and focused on the amulet, disappearing and telepoting to the ground. “Just say in sight!” she cried from far below.

“Get comfy. This is going to take awhile.” the yellow one said to Soarin', who simply nodded. He said nothing more as they pushed him along. He simply lay there, sad that his words had been lost to the wind. 'I love you' he had said, and, he hadn't wanted to admit to the two strangers, but Cadence had nothing to do with it...

*****

A great explosion rocked the skies of Equestria, and the whole of the earth shook violently. Or, rather, it might as well have, for Rarity was not pleased. Not pleased at all. She ground her teeth as she tried her best to suppress the memories of the past few days in Manehatten. It wasn't easy, but she was sure she could do it if she tried hard enough. She let out an anguished cry as a memory from 5:32 in the morning came back to her from yesterday. No! No!! She was NOT going to think about that! The sooner she left all of this behind, the better!

She sat down, angrily, upon the giant pile of coal behind the train engine. It was the only place they could spare for her, for the rest of the train was booked solid, and she was NOT going to take 'no' for an answer. She needed to get out of that city and to Canterlot that very moment, lest she crack and perform some unpleasant violence on somepony. Oooh, she couldn't WAIT to get to Canterlot. She couldn't wait until she was able to get her hooves on Princess Celestia. Oh, did she have words for her. So MANY words to say to her! She was not a happy pony. No she was no-Was that Rainbow Dash flying through the air? She squinted her eyes. Why, yes it was! And she was headed right for the train!

Oh rats.

She turned to the coal pile and tried to dive into it, for there was no way she could let Rainbow see her like this!

“Hey! Stop knocking the coal everywhere! I need to shovel that stuff!” the trainpony shouted at her. She poked her her head up at him and shot him a glare, then desperately looked around for a hiding place. There was nothing. Why, why was there nothi-THERE! A BARREL! She dove behind it, and curled into as tight a ball as she could, hoping that Rainbow hadn't seen her.

“Hey! You can't just fly into here! This is the coal cart!” she heard the trainpony say.

“Look buddy, I'm pretty beat up at the moment, okay? So cut me a break!” she heard Rainbow say. There was a sound of small rocks tumbling. Rarity guessed Rainbow had landed on the coal pile.

“I don't care if you're one of the Princesses! No pony is allowed in here except for me, the conductor, and her!” the trainpony pointed a hoof at Rarity's hiding spot, and her eyes shot open in horror.

“What? The barrel?” Rainbow said. Rarity could almost hear her roll her eyes.

“No you idiot! The gal hiding behind it!”

“Wait, what?”

Rarity tried to dive for the window, figuring death to be the best option at the moment, but she was too slow. Just as she turned to make a leap for it, the barrel was pushed over, and there was Rainbow, staring right at her.

“R-Rarity?!” Rainbow said, taking a horrified step back.

Rarity looked at her for a moment, then sadly nodded.

“Rarity, why is your coat rainbow colored? And why do your eyes look like a snakes? And, are those WINGS?” she asked, looking her up and down, dumbfounded.

Rarity swallowed hard. Then opened her mouth. Large bubbles came out, and then popped. “look me! at Don't” the bubbles popped. She covered her mouth in horror. She had hopped that would have cleared up by now.

“What… What happened to you?” Rainbow asked, dumbfounded.

Rarity looked over, and picked up a chunk of coal with her hoof. 'I don't want to talk about it!' she scratched onto the floor, with perfect hoofwriting.

“Hey!” the train pony angrily shouted.

“Oh give us a break!” Rainbow said, shooting him a look. He glared at her back, but said nothing as he went back to shoveling. Rainbow turned back to Rarity. “Seriously, what happened?” she looked her up and down with a shocked expression.

'I don't want to talk about it, and that's final!' Rarity wrote.

“Oh come on, you can't NOT tell me what happened! Are you hurt at least?”

Rarity shook her head. 'I am perfectly uninjured. Though not quite as I should be, if you must know!'

“Alright, fine! If you don't want to talk about it, then don't!” she shook head. “But can you at least explain the wings?” she asked, pointing at them.

Rarity let out a sigh, that was expressed via popping bubbles. 'They are temporary, I think. They should either fall off soon enough, or burst into flame. I'm not sure which.'

“Wait, those things are going to catch on FIRE?” Rainbow shouted.

“WHAT? GET OUT OF HERE!” The trainpony shouted. “You wanna blow this whole place apart?!”

'Tell that cretin that it's going to be Magical flame and that his precious coal will be perfectly alright!' Rarity gave a little 'humph!' motion with her head as she scratched out the last word.

“Hey, so, uh,” Rainbow began, “she says that it's gonna be magical fire so there's nothing to worry about.”

“What kind of fire do you think runs this thing?! Get out before you blow us all up!” he shouted.

Several growling bubbles came from Rarity as she angrily lifted a block of coal (with her hoof) into the air. She stomped over to him, looked him in the eyes, and then slammed the coal onto the ground and wrote, rather angrily, the following: 'AnD wheRe do YOU sUggEst wE go?!'

He paused for a moment. “Uh...” he looked left and right. “Anywhere but here!” Rarity's veins began popping out of her head as she glared at him, then turned around and walked to the exit of the car. She promptly threw open the door, and pointed a hoof at the stuffed train car behind it. He blinked a few times. “I don't know! Just get out of here!”

Rarity looked at Rainbow, and struck as regal a pose as she could. 'Come, Rainbow.' she wrote, 'I hear the roof is a lovely place to sit and wait.'

“Are you kidding me? How are we gonna stay on?” Rainbow asked.

'Simple. Tie yourself to me. I'll be able to stay on the roof.' She nodded.

“You're kidding. You are gonna hold both of us on there?” Rainbow clearly didn't believe a word she was writing.

'To keep it simple, let's just say I'm something of an electromagnet at the moment.'

Rainbow blinked as she looked at her. “Seriously, what happened to you?” she asked in disbelief.

'I'd rather forget. Now, come, we have a roof to occupy.' Rarity wrote, then walked out the door, and up a ladder to the roof. Rainbow came up shortly after with a rope, that Rarity tied around herself. She then channeled her magic, felt the terrible backlash that she knew would come, and promptly faceplanted into the roof. As painful as that was, at least neither she nor Rainbow would be going anywhere for a while.

“Okay then...” Rainbow shouted over the noise as she sat down. Then, as though a train of sleepiness hit her, she promptly passed out, and nearly fell off the roof. Thankfully, the line was quite short, so Rainbow was in no danger of falling off any time soon. As Rarity lifted her head (with great effort) she saw that her poor friend was now asleep, and thought that perhaps she too should get some rest. It was a long train ride to Canterlot after all...

Author's Note

I'm actually one to believe that much of what happened to poor Rarity was beyond Princess Celestia's control. Though, I do have to wonder...

Chapter Three: Part Eight

Chapter Three: Part Eight

“Now that you ask, Ms. Pennyfeather, yes. Yes I do know a little something about a toothbrush that is both lost and legendary. Why do you ask?” the queen asked as she tilted her head slightly.

“Well, so, there's this friend of mine. Her name's Colgate, and she kinda needs it bad to help out another friend.” Lyra said far too casually.

“Is that so? And what would she need it for?” the queen raised an eyebrow.

“So, I got this buddy, well, kinda a friend I guess, and she's got really bad breath. Like, we're talking wilting flowers bad! I don't think she's ever brushed teeth, like, ever!” Lyra exclaimed.

“Is that so? Is there something so wrong with not brushing one's teeth?” the queen responded, smiling slightly.

“What?” Lyra blinked a few times.

“My people never brushed their teeth. And yet, we survived as a civilization. In fact, I was unaware that brushing one's teeth was and idea until recently. Yet, you do not seem bothered by this fact.” The queen said, perhaps ever so smugly. “Would not the scent of my breath offend you?”

“Uh, we're in a dream. Your dream.” Lyra pointed out.

“Oh.” The queen put a hoof to her mouth and her eyes opened a little more, “Good point.”

“So, really? Never? You guys always had bad breath?” Lyra asked.

The queen shook her head. “If we did, we didn't know. I suspect that since we knew nothing different, we simply didn't notice.” she shrugged.

“Ewww.” Lyra said, her face squishing a bit.

The queen looked at her unamused. “And what if I told you that we didn't take baths either?” she asked with a deadpan expression.

“Wait, really? That's so gross!” Lyra's tongue stuck out as her face contorted with disgust.

The queen laughed. “Well, rest assured, we did do that.” She giggled a few more times, then smiled slightly. “So, you asked about a toothbrush?”

“Yeah, you know about it?” Lyra took a seat in the air.

The queen gave her a bemused look. “It just so happens that I do. In fact, I've had it ever since you and your friend paid me a little visit.”

“Wait, really?” Lyra was rather surprised.

“Indeed. Though it would be more accurate to say that I've always had it, but didn't know that until the two of you caused the collapse of my reception chamber.” she smiled.

Lyra laughed awkwardly. “Yeah… sorry about that. Sweetie Drops doesn't like spiders very much.”

“It is no problem, Ms. Pennyfeather. Had your friend not caused the ceiling to cave in, I would have never of known that the brush was hidden in the stones above my head.” she smiled. “Though, I will admit, it was quite the mess to clean. And I fear it put my friends into a foul mood.” she made a sweeping motion around her, pointing to the many spiders that surrounded them.

“Really? That sucks. Are they feeling better now?” Lyra asked, looking around the chamber. The spiders that had been so adorable the moment before suddenly turned to look at her and hissed at her with oversized fangs. A rather disconcerting sight it was.

“I fear not.” the queen shook her head.

“Bummer.” Lyra pulled away from the wall, leery of the spiders that now leered at her. “So, can we have it?” she asked,

The queen blinked a few times, then laughed merrily. “Ms. Pennyfeather! You must be the only pony I've ever known who would be so forward so as to ask a queen to simply give you something! You have some gall!” she laughed some more, then wiped a tear from her eye. “But, I think, that is why I like you Ms. Pennyfeather. That, and you are the only pony I know who'd have the audacity to give me a fake name upon first meeting me.” she smiled.

“What? No! That's totally my name! Miss Bonnie Pennyfeather!” Lyra smiled.

“If you say so, Ms. Lyra.” the queen smiled back. “Though, I will be honest, Ms. Pennyfeather is a bit more fun to say.”

Lyra's head sunk and she pouted a bit. “How'd you figure it out?”

“Well, I may have heard your friend shout out your name as the two of you escaped my collapsing home.” she shrugged.

“Oh.” Lyra said simply.

“To answer you about your toothbrush, I'm afraid you can't.” The queen shook her head sadly.

“What!? Why?!” she cried.

“Because I recently gave it to another pony who came by here not an hour before you showed up.” the queen shrugged.

“WHAT?!” Lyra cried, causing the spiders to hiss at her again.

“I'm afraid so. He came to my home, gave me a small tonic, and then asked for the brush in return.” she nodded, pleased with the memory.

“A tonic? What, are you sick?” Lyra asked, a bit surprised an ancient queen would need something like that.

She laughed again. “No, I can't say I am. No, it was a tonic a friend of mine made for me. Its purpose is to sooth the mind and relax the body. After all, I only just recently finished repairing my home, and I fear I was feeling a bit stressed by the whole thing. Now that I think about it, I wonder if that's why I'm asleep? It wouldn't surprise me, after all, he's quite good with potions and other such things. Very polite too. Though, I am glad that I had decided to give that toothbrush to him. I didn't really have much else to offer for his help, and he is not one for being overly gentle when it comes to not reciving payment you see.” she smiled and shook her head slightly.

“So, who did you give it to?” Lyra asked.

“Oh?” she looked over at her. “Oh! That's easy! His name was-”

*****

“LYRA!” Bon-Bon shouted as the world suddenly came to Lyra's eyes all at once. It was as though her mind had just crashed through wall after concrete wall, only to end up staring up at a blinding spotlight. Needless to say, her head hurt quite a bit. There was also a very strange taste in her mouth.

“She LIVES!” a strange voice declared.

“Lyra, are you alright?” Colgate's voice came from nearby.

“How do you feel?” a beautifully deep, colty, and oh-so-robust voic-Berry drank it again, didn't she?

“My head feels like Berry's sitting on it.” she moaned.

“Hey!” Berry objected. “I don't weigh that much!”

“I'd bet you do while you're a stallion.” Lyra commented, closing her eyes in pain.

Unbeknownst to her, Berry blushed when she said that. “H-how did you know?”

“Really?” Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Colgate all said in unison. Berry cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah, so, you alright?” He asked.

“Kinda. I just need a minute.” Lyra slummed over to her side. This was the second time that she'd found herself in a position like this recently. She never was fond of doctors or anything like them. Not that they were bad ponies or anything like that, but half the time the cure felt worse then the problem! Then there was the part about all of that paperwork, and having to wait in the office, and they never have anything good to read, and so on and so forth. It was all a big hassle that seemed hardly worth the effort.

She opened her eyes once more. Now that she was no longer being blinded by a light that shined directly into her eyes, she saw that she lay on a 'dry' patch of grass, and that she was now looking at the legs of a pony she didn't recognize. She as wearing quite the dress, It was very clear that whoever it was, was obsessed with fashion.

“Soon, you shall feel, FANTASTIC!” a thickly accented voice cried from above her.

“I'm glad you're alright!” Bon-Bon said, grabbing Lyra and giving her a hug. Bad idea.

“B-BON-BON!” Lyra cried as a rush of pain flooded her head.

“ACH! No! Do not touch her so soon! Die medicine! It needs time!” the accented voice shouted.

“Oh, sorry Lyra!” Bon-Bon said, letting go of her. Thankfully, somepony was quick on their hooves, and caught Lyra's head with her magic just before it slammed into the ground.

“Bon-Bon, are you okay? You're not normally this careless.” Colgate said.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine. I mean, I am well. I am merely concerned for Lyra. We are friends after all.” Bon-Bon had collected herself once more, but Lyra knew better. Whatever had happened to Lyra, it had shaken up Bon-Bon pretty good. Without even looking at her, she knew that Bon-Bon was trembling, even if she had put on a calm face.

“So touching! So moving! Ach! If only I was a poet!” the voice came again. “But no! I, Photo Finish, the greatest fashion photographer to ever live, am an artist!”

Wait, did she say Photo Finish? THE Photo Finish?

Ug…

You see, Lyra enjoyed looking good as much as the next pony. She even appreciated the odd fashion now and again. After all, looking good was rather nice, and it was nice looking at ponies who looked good. Photo Finish however, took that whole idea to a level that Lyra simply couldn't stand. She was up there with the top of the top. The cream of the crop. The ponies who were so completely full of themselves, that they thought the world revolved around them. Then again, Lyra never did think very highly of those on top. They had a tendency to look down.

That said, what in Equestria was she doing in a swamp?

“Thanks again, Photo Finish.” Colgate said. “Those potions you brought were a big help.”

Potions? Wait…

“Think nothing of it! My beloved was more then happy to help. Come, I take you to him!” Photo said, and Lyra saw her legs sharply turn around, and begin marching off.

“Shouldn't we wait for Lyra to recover?” Bon-Bon asked.

“We did!” Photo shouted back, not breaking her stride.

As if on cue, Lyra's body suddenly flooded with energy and her head cleared like a spring of fresh water. In fact, it had been awhile since she felt this good. Even most of the pain she was in was either dulled, or completely gone. She wasn't sure what it was that they had given her, but she sure liked it!

“Hey! She's right!” Lyra cried, springing to her hooves. “I feel pretty good!” She looked all around her, smiling. What had been a day of bright agony, now became a day beautiful day of light, liberty, and the pursuit of Photo Finish (mostly because she'd begun to walk out of eyesight by this point)! The other three looked at her with surprise, and Bon-Bon's face quickly turned to one of unbridled happiness (though to the others it looked as though nothing changed in her flat expression). She paused a moment as the others stared at her. “Uh, shouldn't we be following her?” Lyra asked, pointing a hoof towards where Photo had gone. The others jumped slightly, still a bit surprised that she was moving about so easily.

“Y-yes. Yes we should.” Bon-Bon said, turning around and following after Photo.

“Wait, we should?” Berry asked, looking rather surprised at the suggestion.

“Yeah., remember? Photo said she knew of somepony who could help us find the spot on the map we're looking for.” Colgate said.

“Uh, mind filling me in guys?” Lyra said. “I don't really remember much after Bon-Bon and I started clobbering each other.”

“Sure, we can walk and talk.” Colgate said as she turned to follow after Bon-Bon. Lyra fell in step next to her, and Berry took up the rear as the lot of them followed after Bon-Bon.

“So, what exactly happened?” Lyra asked.

“Well, so, I patched up Bon-Bon, and Berry here,” she pointed her head behind her, “tried to patch you up. Didn't work out so well.”

“Hey! I did the best I could! Not my fault that the only thing I had on me was that drink.” Berry objected. Lyra looked back at his incredibly dreamy face, which was blushing with embarrassment.

“So, you can probably guess what happened next.” Colgate said.

“I got plastered?” Lyra asked.

Colgate nodded. “So, since magic and alcohol don't mix well, I sedated you.”

“Then she and Bon-Bon ran off into the woods and left me with foalsitting duty...” Berry grunted.

“So, you got bored and had a drink?” Lyra smirked.

“No!” Berry shouted, surprising both Lyra and Colgate. He looked between the two of them quickly, then off to the side. “Sorry, it's just that I really didn't want to drink it again.”

“So why did you?” Lyra asked.

“I'm not sure. It just kinda happened. I saw you drink some of the swamp water, and I guess I just kinda panicked.” Berry said softly. “Anyway, that's about when I ran off to find Bon-Bon and Colgate here.”

“So you just kinda left me alone?” Lyra raised an eyebrow.

“Well, ye-no! You started talking like you having a conversation, and when I realized that you were actually seeing things, I ran off to find Colgate here for help. I don't know much about magic, so I was hoping that Colgate might know what to do.” Berry looked over at Colgate, who looked at him, blushed, then looked away.

Colgate cleared her throat. “Anyway, so Bon-Bon and I ran into Photo in the swamp and when she saw how injured Bon-Bon was, she ran off to find her coltfriend. Apparently, he's a doctor or something. That's about when Berry showed up telling us that you were seeing visions. So I ran back here, while Berry here gave Bon-Bon a ride. When I showed up, you were going on about stars and spiders. I, uh, had no idea what to do...” Colgate admitted rather bashfully.

“Soooo?” Lyra leaned her head forward a little.

“Uh, we did nothing. We just kinda sat there, and watched you until Photo showed up.” Colgate did not seem proud to admit this fact. Lyra was actually kinda surprised. Then again, what could they have done? “So, anyway, Photo showed up with two potions. She gave one to Bon-Bon, who was back on her hooves in no time, and then Bon-Bon practically shoved the other one down your throat.”

“That explai-THE BRUSH! I've got to tell you guys what happened!” Lyra suddenly shouted, causing everypony to suddenly stop and turn to look at her.

“Huh?” Colgate asked, suddenly a bit leery.

“Long story short: Princess Luna sent me to speak to that spider queen Bon-Bon and I met. Turns out, she's had the brush this whole time! But the thing is, she gave it to somepony, and I woke up right when she was about to tell me who it was!” Lyra said rather quickly, almost panicking.

“Did you get the name?!” Bon-Bon shouted from up ahead.

“No! That's what I just said!” Lyra shouted back.

“Wait, what about the map?” Berry asked.

“Hey! That might work!” Colgate said as she lifted a hoof into the air, causing it to POOF into existence. She placed it on the ground, and opened it. Much to their surprise, the X on the map had moved, and was currently moving as they looked at it. “Look! It's following where it's going! I bet it's with whoever has the brush still!”

“Let me see!” cried Photo as she dashed back to the map.

“Uh, sure, be my guest. But, I have to ask, why?” Colgate stepped to the side to allow Photo a clear look.

“I know the land well enough. Perhaps I can tell you where your precious 'Brush' is!” she said as she looked down at the map, then gasped. “TH-THE X! IT IS HEADED DIRECTLY TO WHERE MY BELOVED LIVES!” Without a moment's hesitation, she turned on the spot, and bolted. The others were caught by surprise by this, but quickly followed.

“Wait, is this brush dangerous?” Berry asked as they charged through the swamp.

“I would think not, but if Photo Finish's reaction is anything to go by, then it would seem that we might be wrong.” Lyra could tell that Bon-Bon was trying to sound brave, but she knew better. If Bon-Bon's reaction was anything to go by, they were heading directly into danger...

Author's Note

Being neither a fashion photographer, nor vaguely German (or at least German speaking), I find Photo's dialogue most challenging to write. Still, it could be worse. I could be trying to have her speak in rhyme. :pinkiecrazy:

Also: if you see any errors, please pardon them. Though, paradoxically, do feel free to point them out. :twilightsmile:

Chapter Three: Part Nine

Chapter 39

Meanwhile, Doc (a name that he found quite pleasant), trotted along merrily. He was humming a cheerful, yet nameless tune that had no real melody or rhythm. Dangling from his mouth was a small package that swayed back and forth as he bounced along. It had been a rather easy, his repayment. Once his brow had begun filling with giant drops of sweet, sweet terror sweat, The Hydra had throw its heads back and begun to laugh. 'Good show old boy!' he had said. 'You'll have to forgive me. I fear I have a dreadful sense of humor.' He had then asked Doc if he would do him the simple favor of giving some potions to a friend of his elsewhere in the swamp, and to bring back to him a small item of payment that he was due to receive. Doc, preferring to not be eaten, and most curious as to who this friend could be, agreed on the spot.

So, after receiving some directions, he had headed off with a small satchel of potions. Finding the place was easy enough, though remembering which pyramid she was in was a little tricky. Though, the part where he'd mention it was partly caved-in helped.

In all honesty, he could have done without all of those spiders. Not that he was necessarily afraid of spiders. It's just that there were an awful lot of them. Though, they were quite helpful and even led him to the pony The Hydra had been talking about. A short exchange, a small package with a strange looking object in it (it was fuzzy on one end), and a many spider-hugs later, he was on his way back to complete his service.

He smiled all the more, for today was simply wonderful. The air was sweet, and the ground soggy and mushy. He was simply filthy, though he didn't care one bit. Then again, as far as he knew, he'd always been this way. So he was in quite the happy mood when he trotted right back into the clearing where he had been filled with terror not just an hour before.

“Mr. Hyrda!” he cried as he placed the package on the ground. “I've returned! And I've brought a package back for you!” The ground shook a bit as he heard the thunderous footsteps of his physician as he lumbered back into the clearing. Three of the four heads looked at both him and his parcel with disinterest. The one that didn't smiled quite happily.

“Well done ol' boy! Capital! Simply capital!” he exclaimed. “So, what is it?” he asked, bringing his head close to it.

“Well, I'm not sure.” Doc admitted, looking down at the package.

The Hydra chuckled. “Knowing that old mare, it's likely to be something interesting, though of little use to me.” He then looked at Doc. “Would you mind? Your hooves are slightly better suited to the task then the other three mouths attached to me, or our massive feet.”

“Oh! Not at all!” he smiled and then grabbed the package. It didn't last long under his powers of gift opening. You see, unbeknownst to the good Doctor (at this time at any rate), he was, in the past, quite the voracious gift opener. So efficient, and so savage was his ability, that fillies and colts from all over the neighborhood would bring their gifts to him on their own birthdays, just to watch in awe as he tore the wrapping to shreds. For so long he did this, that his very muscles no longer needed his mind to do the task. Indeed, when a present was set before him, and he was told to open it, his body moved of its own accord, and within mere fractions of a second, the wrapping was no more. So, it would be to nopony's great surprise (if anypony other then the good Doctor and The Hydra had been present) that The Hydra had been taken aback by the sheer savagery of Doc's attack.

“What in the name of The Princess was THAT?!” he cried, awestruck, and a little afraid. Even the other heads showed a fair bit of fear on their faces, if not outright respect.

“I-I don't know. My body, just moved on its own!” Doc said, looking down at his hooves wide-eyed.

“Well, whatever that was, remind me about it next time you need to open something in my presence!” The Hydra laughed. “Now then, what do we have here?” he asked as he brought his head close to the now naked box that lay on the ground. Doc opened it, and looked inside.

It was roughly one and one half times as long as a pony's hoof. Thin, narrow, and ended in a graceful little ball at one end. The object had a graceful curve to it at the other end, which was covered on the one side with bristles. It was, to a fault, “A toothbrush?!” The Hydra exclaimed. He was clearly surprised. “What in the name of these lovely swamps is a queen of the stone age doing with a toothbrush?!”

“What's this 'toothbrush' do, exactly?” Doc asked.

The Hydra looked at him for a moment, then slammed his face into the ground (lacking hooves, his face-hoofing options were limited). He then pulled up, and looked at Doc again. “Right. I forgot the extent to which your memory loss affected you. Simply put: it cleans your teeth.”

“Fascinating! Whats a 'teeth'?” Doc asked.

The Hydra's eye ticked. “I refuse to answer that quest-”

He never did finish that sentence, for it was about that time when the trees on the far side of the clearing, the side opposite of where The Hydra lived, exploded.

*****

It was also about that time when Bonnie Bonnet put some water on her flowers. As irrelevant to the story as ever, she simply hummed a happy tune. She trotted from one patch of pretty flowers to the next, her water little watering can hanging from her mouth. It was a lovely day. Only a few clouds hung in the sky, for the Pegasus Ponies had not yet cleared them. The sun was high in the sky, and there was an ever so pleasant breeze that blew through the air. It was a wonderfully warm day.

Simply perfect.

Even that funny-looking cloud that was clearly moving strangely, and directly into town, was pleasant enough. She paused. Wait, what? She looked up once more and watched as it moved across the sky, all the while coming closer to the ground. She squinted. Where there ponies on that cloud? It looked like it, but she wasn't sure. She was sure she could see one pushing the cloud, but if there was one, it was hard to see it. She was no eagle-eyes, so making out the details was less then easy. If only she were a Pegasus Pony! She could fly up there and take a look for herself. Then again, she could always just, you know, walk into town to see what was going on, but that was beside the point.

She saw a few Pegasus Ponies fly out of the town to the cloud, pause at it, then rush back into town. A moment later, she saw many more fly to the cloud, surround it, and then rush it into town. Okay, now THAT had her curiosity. She waffled for a moment, unsure if she should leave her flowers or not. In the end, her curiosity won out, and she ran to town, leaving her flowers and little watering can behind, as well as a pony who had just (unbeknownst to her) arrived at the edge of her property (spoilers: it was her long lost brother who had finally arrived back home to mend his broken bridges).

She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She didn't live too far from town, but it was far enough that it was just over half an hour's walk, if one walked at a leisure pace. At a full run? Only like ten minutes. Thing was, Bonnie was not a fit pony. She wasn't unhealthy or anything like that. It's just that she was no athlete, and thus was not used to such runs. So it took her just a little longer then she would have liked to reach town. When she did, she headed directly for town square.

In the center of the town the townspony had gathered in a large circle, including the mayor (who was busy trying to disperse the crowd). She inched and nudged her way through to the center, and gasped (just like everypony else had). On a cloud, looking as though he had been hit by a train, lie the object of her dreams. Her hero. Her idol.

Soarin'.

She screamed a scream of two parts. One part pure unbridled fangirl-ism, and one part horror that the pony of whom she had poster after poster of on her wall was so injured. Her senses took leave of her and she ran forward to his side. Well, she tried, but was quickly stopped by a small mare in a jumpsuit. “Stay back mam!” the little mare said. “He's hurt! Give him space!”

“But-But-” Bonnie protested.

“Please, miss! Nurse Redheart needs space!” the mare explained. Bonnie looked up from her, and finally noticed Redheart tending to him. She was busy wrapping one of his legs in a bandage. “So, please, stay back!” the mare asked once more.

Bonnie bit her lower lip, but took a step back. It killed her to just sit there and watch helplessly. But, near as she could tell, there was nothing she could do. Or, at least, there was nothing they would let her do. She began stepping nervously in place. Ooohh! There had to be something she could do!

Another pony tried to enter the circle, and this time a yellow Pegasus Pony stopped them. He said much the same the mare in front of her said, though not quite as politely.

“There!” Redheart declared. “He should be good to move now. Take him to the clinic. He'll need a few days to recover.” she motioned to a group of Pegasus Ponies that seemed to be standing by, who surrounded the cloud and lifted it up and over the crowd. Bonnie's eyes followed it, and she decided to follow, much like all of the other ponies in the circle, save the Mayor and the two strangers.

“Well, now that's over with. Think we can catch a train to Manehatten from here?” the stallion asked Litterbug as the mayor walked back into town hall.

“There's a train?” she asked.

“I saw the tracks on the way in here. I think we should buy a ticket to Manehatten.” he said humorlessly.

“Well, we make better time this way.” Litterbug tapped her necklace, which stuck slightly to her hoof (it was, after all, a used lolipop).

“Yes, but you're not the one who has to sling a harness around your back and carry you. And to be quite honest, I'm tired.” he said, turning and walking away.

“Wait!” Litterbug said, falling in step next to him. “I guess you have a point. But couldn't you hold out for just a little longer? Please?” she asked ever-so-nicely.

He looked at her with an unamused look, then let out a sigh. “Only if there is no direct connection to Manehatten from here”

She smiled. “Thank you!”

It was, conveniently, at this time they reached the train station. Litterbug went to the schedule as her companion walked up to the receptionist. She was surprised when she looked at it. For such a small town, Ponyville had an awful lot of train lines that ran through it. In fact, it was clearly an important hub. One could catch a train to just about anywhere from here. Well, anywhere major at any rate, even a few minor places as well (Appleloosa? Where in the hay was that?). So it was with a touch of sadness that she noticed that there was indeed a direct line to Manehatten from here.

“The next train is due any minute now. Though it's leaving Manehatten. The next line to there isn't due until nearly sundown.” he was clearly displeased by this.

“Yeah, I wanna get there soon too.” Litterbug said softly.

“Huh? Oh, no, that's not it at all.” he shook his head. “I'd love to wait until the train comes and then ride it in. Plenty of time to rest. But I get the feeling that you're not feeling so patient.” he sighed.

She blinked a few times. Then smiled. “You know me so well!” she said happily. He simply let out a grumble.

“Fine. But give me a little bit. I've been hauling you around for some time now.” he said as he took a seat on a nearby bench.

“That's fair. You've been working hard.” Litterbug said, walking over to the tracks. She looked left and right, hoping to see which way the train was going to come from. She heard a loud whistle, and peering to the right, she saw a bright light off far in the distance. “Train's gonna be here soon!” she shouted as she turned around, walked back, and sat on the bench near him.

They sat in silence for several moments. To Litterbug, the silence felt oppressive. It felt as though there was pressure building in the air, pressing upon her, suffocating her, and the only way to break it was to speak. However, she got the feeling that he was in no mood to talk. She began to fidget a little in her seat. She looked over at him. He sat there, his eyes closed, and his body clearly relaxed. She looked the other direction, but there was nothing of interest. She looked ahead. Still nothing worth looking at. “Calm down.” he suddenly said, making her jump slightly. “You're making me nervous.”

She opened her mouth to offer a response, but it was drowned out by a loud train whistle, and the sounds of a train pulling into the station. She watched as it pulled in, and gawked as she suddenly noticed Rainbow Dash on the roof, tied to another pony. She was clearly asleep, and looking exceptionally ungraceful while doing so. The other pony she was tied was also asleep, and had a coat that was even more colorful then Rainbow's mane.

“H-Hey! That's Rainbow! Why is she tied to the roof of the train? And who's that she's tied to?” Litterbug asked, pointing.

Her companion opened his eyes slightly, adjusted his glasses slightly, and turned his head. “No idea, and it's not our concern.” he said closing his eyes once more.

“Hey! Rainbow!” Litterbug shouted as she jumped up and walked over. “Rainbow! Are you alright? Who's that?” she shouted. Rainbow's eyes opened slightly and she looked around confused and sleepily.

“Huh? Wha…?” she said.

“Are you okay?!” Litterbug shouted.

Rainbow looked down at her, not fully awake. “Who're you?” she asked.

“It's me! Litterbug! We met earlier today! Remember?” She glanced at the other pony for a second before looking back at Rainbow.

“I … think so?” she said.

“Are you alright? Why are you on the roof, and why are you tied to a rainbow unicorn?”

“A rainbow, what?” Rainbow looked around confused, and when her eyes rested upon the sleeping mare near her, she stared at her for a moment. “Who...” then something clicked. “OH yeah! This is Rarity!” Rainbow said, pointing at the sleeping unicorn.

Rarity? Didn't she have a white coat and a purple mane that was carefully done up? “Wait, that's Rarity? Are you sure? She doesn't look anything like how Princess Twilight described her.”

“Yeeeeah, I don't know what happened either. She won't talk about it. Say, do you know where this train's headed?” Raindow looked behind her.

“Canterlot, I think.” Litterbug replied.

“ALL ABOARD FOR CANTERLOT!” a rather loud pony shouted.

“I guess that answers that.” Litterbug smiled.

“Yeah, guess so.” Rainbow said.

“Hey, do you think you could tell Rarity what I told you? About the princesses?”

“Why don't you do it?” Rainbow raised her eyebrow.

“Because I can't sit on the roof of a train car like that, and my ride's going on strike.” Litterbug sighed.

Rainbow's annoyance with her request was expressed quite clearly, and verbally. “Are you kidding me?”

“'Fraid not.” she shrugged.

“Ugg. Fine.” Rainbow crossed her legs and pouted.

“Thanks Rainbow!” she waved and walked back to her now sleeping companion.

“Yeah, yeah.” she waved a dismissive hoof.

“FINAL CALL FOR CANTERLOT!” the loud pony shouted again. A moment, and a few panicked ponies later, the doors shut and the train was off.

“Hey! Wake up!” Litterbug shook her erstwhile companion. “We don't have to go to Manehatten anymore!”

“Huh? Wha? Why? Did it blow into pieces?” he asked, slowly coming to.

“No! Turns out that was Rarity Rainbow was tied to, and she agreed to deliver our message to her for us.”

“Really? That's awfully convenient.” he replied, clearly suspicious.

“Isn't it?!” she smiled, missing what he really meant. “I guess that means we can head back to Vanhoover!”

“I think you're forgetting something.” he said, a bit sadly.

“What?” she asked, looking around to she what she had dropped.

“No, that's not what I mean. I'm saying, didn't you say the Princess asked you do to something once you'd alerted her friends?” he raised an eyebrow.

She paused a moment, the gears in her head ticking. Click. “Oh yeah! She wanted us to go and see what what's-her-name was doing and if she needed any help!”

“Bingo. Now then, do you remember what her name was?” he asked, slowly getting up and onto his hooves.

She put a hoof to her chin in thought. “Wasn't it … Colgate?”

*****

Colgate was running as fast as her hooves could carry her. She had no idea why Photo was running so fast, or how for that matter, but goodness could she go! She was a bit in awe as she so nimbly weaved her way through the swamp, as though it was nothing more then some tall grass. Not just her, but Bon-Bon and Lyra as well. Though, that part surprised her little by this point. What did was her ability to keep pace with them all. Though, she kinda cheated. Well, more like, Berry cheated, by clearing a path. You see, both Colgate and Berry quickly realized that (under normal circumstances) they would never be able to keep pace with them. However, Colgate had a bright idea, and asked Berry to run in front of her and simply plow his-her-WHATEVER's way through the swamp. It more or less worked, though she suspected that any naturalists who might have been watching would have cried in anguish at the sight.

Environmental desolation aside, Colgate was also surprised at the amount of panic in Photo's voice. Over and over she kept screaming 'MINE BELOVED', and occasionally adding various and sundry other words of fear and panic. This simply didn't make any sense. Why was she so frantic? Not only that, WHY WAS SHE HERE? It made no sense! Why would a pony like her, be in this swamp, clear on the other side of Equestria, and away from everything she stood for? There were so many questions that began to flood her mind. Everything from 'Why didn't Bon-Bon change?' to 'Who, or what, was Bon-Bon?' Not to mention questions surrounding Lyra, and now she was beginning to wonder if there was more to Berry then she knew. At this point, she wouldn't be half-surprised.

Too many questions, not enough answers! She shook her head as she continued to run. They were almost at the brush! It was within their grasp! All they had to do was get it, have Berry brush her teeth with it, and then they could all finally go home and leave all of this nonsense behind! Well, she and Berry anyway. She suspected that this whole thing was just another day for the other two. That, however, was beside the point.

What was, was how close they were! Just a little further, surely! As they banked sharply to the left, and over what amounted to a hill, she saw Berry launch himself off the crest. He flew over the heads of the others, and landed in the front of the entire compony. At first, Colgate thought that made no sense, but soon saw the logic that ran through his head. Having landed in front of Photo, she had begun shouting instructions to him, and he cleared the path as they went. Sure, this was all sorts of unfriendly to the poor swamp, but Colgate did have to admit, it did cause the whole group to move a bit faster through it.

Pity it was about the trees however. The poor things. They never asked for this. All they could do was watch in horror as their friends and family shattered and splintered before Berry's merciless, and heedless, assault. Not even the rocks themselves were safe, for Berry barged right through more then one large bolder in their run. The poor trees, which tried so hard to be so menacing, were now the ones who knew the face of fear. And it was the face of one very focused stallion.

Thus, it was to the surprise of all when they exploded into The Hydra's den. Though, of course, only Photo knew exactly where they were. For the others, they had a very different impression.

For Colgate, she was surprised when she plowed directly into her friends, who had suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, stopped mid-run. The four of them tangled into a nice knot as the momentum of her crashing into them caused the other three to lose their balance. Thus, the next thing she knew, she was face down in the dirt, with her spine twisting in ways that she was pretty sure it wasn't suppose to twist.

That concern, however, was short lived as her ears suddenly filled with the sound of a mighty and terrible roar.

The knot of ponies shifted, allowing Colgate to see more then the moist dirt beneath them, though she quickly wished that she could go back to that view. Before them, on the other side of the clearing, standing on two thick legs, stood a massive four-headed monster. Three of the four heads roared again, with the third one looking dumbfounded for a moment, before joining in itself.

All four of them let out a scream, and despite their best efforts, they could not untangle themselves. Indeed, the more they struggled, the tighter the ball of ponies got. The ground shook as the giant monster took a step forward. Colgate, having an uninterrupted view of the thing, saw as each one of its mouths grin hungrily. It took another step, then, with terrifying speed, all four heads launched themselves at the ball.

It was about then Colgate saw a strange creature step between the four of them and the terrible monster. It looked roughly the size and shape of a pony, but that was as far as that went. It was hairy, it was filthy, and it had the most bizarre coloration of any creature she'd ever seen. It was as though he was looking at the negative of a photo. What should have been dark was clearly light, and that which should have been light was all kinds of strange and garish dark colors. It stood up upon its hind legs and spread its forelegs to either side, as though shielding them. It shouted something at the giant monster, though what it was saying was a mystery to Colgate. To her ears, it sounded like little more then a mixture of growls, grunts, howls, and a myriad of other strange, and often bizarre sounds.

Well, whatever it was saying and/or doing, it made the giant creature stop in its tracks. The four heads reared back and looked at the creature strangely. Or was that thoughtfully? No, not possible. Was it? She saw as it nodded one of its heads, and the other three look to the side (did they just roll their eyes?), almost looking bored. Then, the giant creature turned around, and lumbered into some trees on the far side of the clearing.

The creature before Colgate dropped forward and placed its front, uh, hooves? Is that what those fuzzy things were? Well, whatever they were, they were very much now placed on the ground. The creature turned around, and faced the ball. Colgate let out a gasp. Its eyes were HUGE. They looked much like gigantic insect eyes. To say nothing of their disconcerting color. It reached out one of its front appendages, and patted her gently on the head. It then proceeded to do likewise with the other three as well, though it had to walk around them to do so.

Only once it had moved out of her eyesight had she a chance to get a good look at this place. It was dark, damp, and dismal. Above them a thick canopy of leaves, branches, moss, and even vines blocked most of the sun's rays. The ground was mostly grass, and the clearing itself was much like a large circle. If Colgate had the eyes to see it, she would have noticed that it was a little too much of a perfect circle, and would have concluded (correctly so) that it was not natural. Not far from the center of the clearing (which was about as wide as a relatively long house is, well, long) she saw another creature, not too dissimilar from their savior. Though this one was much less strangely colored. Or rather, there were not quite as many strange colors to it. It also lacked giant insect eyes. In the center of the clearing lay a small box.

The ground began shaking again as the massive creature entered into the clearing once more, though this time it held a large bag from one of its massive mouths. It lumbered over to the center of the clearing and placed it near the box. The same head (the third one) then turned to the other two strange creatures, and shrieked, roared, growled, and hissed (though not in that order) at them. They both nodded in reply, walked over to the large bag, and produced from it six potion bottles. If they were full, whatever was inside was clear. The two creatures then gave four of the potions to each head, then they in turn pressed the bottles to their faces, and opened their horrific, toothy maws (that was the stuff of nightmares, it was! Long, pointed, sharp, and even had that whole saliva everywhere thing going on). Then, both of them, and all four heads, all drank at the same time.

There was a small blast of harmless energy that suddenly erupted from them. It made the trees sway about them and the leaves rustle. But more then that, suddenly, and quite to her surprise, before Colgate stood two ponies, and one surprisingly friendly looking, uh, not as much of a monster. Where the offensively mulch-colored one was, now stood Photo Finish. Where the other one was, now stood-

“TIME TURNER?!” three of the four shouted (poor Lyra was facing the wrong way and thus was unable to see this all unfold).

“Uh? Who? Who's that? Do you know him?” he asked, looking about excitedly. “Where is he?”

Colgate was unaware of the fact that all three of them blinked once or twice in unison. “Uh, Time, that's you. You're Time Turner.” Colgate said.

“Who, me?” he asked, putting a hoof to his chest.

“Yes!” all four shouted (though Lyra could not see what was going on, she figured she had a pretty good guess what had just happened).

“Nooo!” he shook his head. “You must be mistaken. My name is Doctor!” he smiled. “I can't say I've ever heard the name 'Time Turner' before.” he nodded.

“You'll have to excuse the ol' boy here, his head's gone and gone a bit funny you see.” the not-as-threatening thing just said. “Drank the water, AND and ate some mud you see.”

“Oooh. Ouch.” Colgate heard Lyra whisper.

“He consumed both?” Bon-Bon said. “Then I suppose that would explain both why he fails to recognize his name, and as to why he looked that way.”

“Oh? Know a bit about the swamp, do you?” The thing asked Bon-Bon.

“Both Lyra and I are familiar with a few of the hazards. Which is why I have to ask, why can you now speak our language?” Bon-Bon asked, a bit of caution in her voice.

It laughed a bit. “Well, first things first. I am simply known The Hydra. Mostly because, well, I'm the only hydra that's really gotten a proper name. Though the ponies at Cantelot called me 'Steve'.” it shook its head. “I never liked that name. Though it was convenient for them. You may call me either. What, may I ask, are you names?” it smiled.

“Uh, give us a sec.” Colgate said as she pulled a leg free, which was now very much asleep.

“Sure, sure. Tell you what? Why don't the two of you help them untangle, and I'll fetch us all some tea. Sound good? Good!” it smiled, then lumbered back into the woods.

Time and Photo walked over to the pony ball, and began helping the poor hapless friends untangle themselves. “So, mind explaining what's going on?” Berry asked as he wormed his way free.

“I was wondering the same thing!” Time (or, you know, Doctor, if you were to ask him) said.

“SILENCE! We need to concentrate!” Photo shouted as she pulled a leg out. The pony to whom it belonged yelped in pain. So it was they continued the business of undoing the four of them in silence. It took longer then any of them would have guessed, but by the end if it, they were glad they took the time they did.

Conveniently, it was just about the time The Hydra (or 'Steve' as Colgate was inclined to call, him? She guessed it was a him) returned with a lovely platter that held 10 cups. One of the other heads bent over and picked up the small box, and deposited it off to the side while another head grabbed a low stump and placed it in the center. 'Steve' then placed the platter on the make-shift table, and grabbed a sizable rock and placed it near the stump. The other heads followed suit until there were 7 stones total.

“Right then! Take a sit, have a cup. Relax.” he said as he took a seat upon the largest of the rocks he and the other heads placed. The others took their seats, with the four visitors exchanging looks all the while. Some were worried. Some were intrigued. And some looks were very confused. After taking a seat, most of the ponies grabbed a cup, but only two took a sip. The other heads of the hydra also took sips of their tea, though 'Steve' did not. He simply looked at each pony in turn and then smiled. “Well then. I suppose some introductions are in order!”

The business of introduction did not take long, as most of them already either knew each other, or of each other. Once the last pony had introduced themselves (who was Photo), 'Steve' spoke once more. “Now then. I suspect we all have a tale or two to tell. After all, it's not everyday my dear beloved here,” he turned his large head and looked at Photo, who looked back, and both blushed but did not look away, “comes exploding out of the woods with visitors on her tail. Nor is it everyday that we have a pony who's gone and lost his memory end up reuniting with some ponies who may very well know who he is.” He then paused, looking between them. “So then, who first?”

The four of them stared at him, then at Photo, then him again with jaws hanging open. “Wait, did you say, BELOVED?” Lyra blurted out. “Like, you and Photo here, are, like, IN LOVE?” she asked, in total disbelief.

Steve laughed heartily. “Ah, yes. Very much so!” he nodded. “How long have we known each other, love?” he turned and looked at Photo.

“Not nearly long enough!” Photo nearly shouted.

Steve laughed again. “Right you are!” he nodded, then looked back to Lyra. “To make a long story short: I am, by profession, an Apothecary, as well as a General Practitioner. I studied, and graduated, in Canterlot. It was there, at the university, that we met.”

“'E was a DREAM!” Photo nearly screamed. “Vhen I heard dat a hydra was living at zee school, I KNEW I must take 'is picture! Could you imagine? A picture, vit a hydra? And not only zat, but a hydra vit a sense of FASHION!” she slammed a hoof on the table a stood up, raising her other hoof into the air.

“You? A sense of fashion?” Time asked. Then blinked. “What's that mean?”

The Hydra chuckled. “It means I like wearing clothes that look good.” Photo nearly choked at his rather, simplistic, definition. “Sorry, love. I'm just keeping it simple. But yes, while I was there I decided I would try and wear clothing, so as to make myself less threatening. I found that I actually enjoyed it, and expressed some interest in one of the Fashion Clubs on campus. It didn't take long for Photo to find me after that.”

“Hold on,” Colgate said, raising a hoof, “I went to the same school, why didn't I ever heard about this?”

“Ah, yes.” Steve nodded. “Well, your Princess Celestia, with whom I had to have a personal interview when I applied, decided that it would be wise if my presence there was kept as secret as possible. So, as a result, I had many private classes. In the case of the club, I was allowed to attend it since it was a Fashion Club specifically for exotic species.”

“So, how'd you find out about him then?” Berry asked Photo.

“There are no secrets that can hide from me!” she declared proudly.

“Well, when it comes to gossip anyway.” Steve chuckled. “Plus, she was the president of the Fashion Photographer's Club. So, as a result, she had special permission to attend our club meetings.”

“It vas love at first sight...” Photo sighed.

“It sure was...” he said, as both turned to look at each other once more. There were several moments of silence, during which each of the other hydra heads either rolled their eyes, or gagged.

Bon-Bon cleared her throat. “So, after you graduated you moved back to the swamp, and Ms. Finish comes to visit you often, yes?”

Broken from their revere, they both looked at her with lost looks. But it did not take long for that to clear up. “Ja.” Photo nodded.

“I see. That explains why you are her in the swamp. As for you, Mr. Turner,” Bon-Bon turned to look at him, “Why are you here?”

“I have simply no idea!” he declared far too happily.

“None at all?” Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow.

“Nope!” He smiled. “And please, call me Doctor!”

“So, Doc, can I call ya Doc?” Lyra pipped up, “You got no idea why you're here? Like, at all?” He shook his head.

“Colgate,” Bon-Bon said, “You're a doctor of sorts, perhaps you could help?”

“Well, I'm not sure. I mean, the mind's not really my specialty.”

“Oh?” Steve raised an eyebrow. “You're a doctor, are you?”

“Dentist, to be exact.” she said.

“Oh really?” he said. “Funny you should mention that.” he said.

She looked at him curiously, “Why's that?”

“Well,” he said, getting up, and walking over the little box that he had placed off to the side, “it just so happens that I just acquired something that may be of interest to you. I have no need of it, but perhaps you do.” he picked it up, and walked back, and placed it on the table. “There we go, have a look.”

Colgate looked up at him curiosity, then tilted the box with her magic, took a peek inside, then gasped.

Inside that little box sat the very thing they had been looking for this entire time. There was no mistake. Though she had never seen it before, there was no question that this was it. It was, without the shadow of a doubt, The Lost Toothbrush of The Royal Sisters (Now for only 3 easy payments of 9.99!)

Author's Note

I suppose it's worth noting that the first thing Photo did when she arrived, was to split off and eat some of that lovely, lovely swamp mud. After all, she would have noticed right away that 'Steve''s (which she refuses to call him) siblings were feeling rather peckish.

Also: the price went up! It was 3.99 at the start of this whole thing! :flutterrage:

Chapter Three: Part Ten, Prelude to The End

Chapter Three: Part Ten, Prelude to The End

“Well, if you say so!” the stallion said, twirling his mustache as he looked at them from the other side of his over-sized, and very nice, wooden desk. You see, in a moment of rather brash decision making, the four of them (once they had all reunited, and promptly had no less then three parties to celebrate the occasion) had decided that rather then sneak in, or talk their way in, or any other course of action, they decided that they would simply storm the castle and make a break for the throne room. Well, okay, it was more like Rainbow Dash had decided to do it before anypony could stop her in time, and when they chased after her the guards promptly arrested the whole lot of them and dragged them to the small office where they now found themselves.

“We do say so!” Applejack shouted.

“So let us in!” Rainbow demanded.

“Well, I don't know. I mean, you sure LOOK like the princess's friends. But how do I KNOW you're her friends?” he leaned back in his overly large chair and crossed his front legs.

“What?!” Rainbow shouted.

“Well, for all I know, you all could be changelings!” his eyes narrowed.

“And I'm tellin' ya we're not!” Applejack said.

“Can you prove that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Totally!” Pinkie said. “Twilight totally knows this super cool spell that turns changelings back into their normal forms!”

“Is that so? Would any of you happen to know it?” he asked, his eyebrow still raised.

There was a pause. “Uh, no … sorry...” Fluttershy finally said.

He snorted. “How convent.”

“Look, I'm tellin ya, we are who we say we are!” Applejack said.

“Oh yeah? You say you're Princess Twilight's friends, and you claim that you're Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity the Unicorn, but, WHY DOES SHE HAVE A RAINBOW COAT?” He said, jumping to his hooves and pointing at the very much unconscious form of Rarity. “If I'm not mistaken, Miss Applejack, if that is your real name, Rarity has a WHITE coat!”

“What? Are you color blind? No she doesn't!” Pinkie said. Her friends all shot her angry looks. “What?”

“Not helping!” Rainbow said.

“Looka here Mr. Guard officer sir-”

“Sargent! I'm a Sargent!” he shot at Applejack.

“Uh, Sarg,” Applejack said, causing him to shake his head, “We don't rightly know why she's like that-”

“She won't tell us!” Rainbow said.

“Oooh! Ooh! I'd bet it was because she had to-”

“Not now Pinkie!” Applejack looked over at her with a look that hushed her something good. She then turned back to the small stallion with the over-sized desk, “Anyway, we're who we say we are! If you don't believe us, what's the harm in takin' us to the princesses? Iffin' we are who we say we are, then there's no problem, right? And if we an't, then the princesses could take care of us right-an-quick, am I right?”

He blinked a few times. “That's got to be the dumbest logic I've ever heard.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?” Rainbow bellowed.

“Uh, Rainbow...” Fluttershy tugged at her leg slightly.

“What?!” she said, turning around.

“Well, maybe we could try asking nicely?” she said softly.

“Oh like THAT'S gonna work! 'Hey, Mr. Sargent, could you please take us to the Princesses? If you wouldn't mind that is!'” Rainbow said in a mockingly high voice.

“Try it.” the stallion said, much to Rainbow's surprise. The group turned to look at him. He simply grinned. Then they turned and looked at Fluttershy, who turned beet-red and took several steps back. “Well, miss?”

“Uh, uh...” she stammered.

“Go on! You can do it!” Pinkie cheered.

“Go on surgarcube, it's worth a try.” Applejack smiled.

Rainbow simply rolled her eyes.

And Rarity drooled.

“Uh, okay. Um,” she paused, looking nervously between her friends. She then turned and looked at the Sargent. “Uh, Mr. Sargent, sir? Could you please take us to the Princesses?” she then paused again, and blushed. “I-If you wouldn't mind that is...”

He cracked a huge grin. “No.”

“O-oh … okay...” Fluttershy said, defeated. Rainbow raised her forelegs in the air and opened her mouth.

“But I will take you to their door.” he said before Rainbow could say anything. Fluttershy's face lit up, as well as several others (save Rainbow Dash's, who was surprised, and Rarity, who simply continued to drool).

“Oh thank you!” she beamed.

“Anything for a pretty face.” he winked at her, causing her eyes to nearly bulge out of her head, her face to turn deep, deep crimson, and to bolt behind Applejack. He simply bust out laughing. “Sorry about that.” he chuckled a few more times. “'fraid I can't help myself sometimes. Anyway, yeah, I can take ya to their door at least. I was under orders to keep an eye for the friends of Princess Twilight Sparkle, but it's pretty clear to me that's not you guys, so I don't see the harm in seeing if the princesses will see ya.”

There was a somewhat stunned silence that followed as the four of them exchanged looks. Finally, Rainbow broke it as she rubbed the back of her head. “Uh, yeah, totally. Guess he's on to us guys! Looks like we can't fool you!” the others looked at her and then at him, and more or less nervously nodded (and by others we mean Fluttershy, for Pinkie Pie just looked at them confused and Applejack was unamused).

“Looks like I still got it!” he grinned. “Follow me, I'll take ya right to them.” he hopped onto his desk then onto the ground next to Rarity. “And if it's all the same to you guys, I'll carry the poor lady!”

“Sure, knock yerself out.” Applejack shrugged.

“Excellent!” he beamed and picked her up, and trotted out the door. The others looked between themselves.

“If he thought we were lying, wouldn't that make him NOT want to take us to the princesses? Like, I'm pretty sure if I was in his horseshoes, I woulda have us all arrested.” Rainbow said.

“Just be glad we're getting' somewhere!” Applejack shot back.

“Maybe he IS taking us to the dungeon!” Fluttershy said, putting hoof to her mouth in horror.

“Ooh! And maybe he'll lock us away forever and ever and we'll all have to wear prison outfits and join a chain-gang and sing songs about doing hard labor all day!” Pinkie said far too cheerily. Then stopped for a second and tilted her head in thought. “On second thought, that doesn't sound very fun at all.”

“Well, he may not be th' sharpest tool in th' shed, but iffin' he's gonna do what he said he's gonna do, we'd best get to followin' him before he gets all kinds of suspicious.” Applejack commented as she walked out the door to his small office (the walls and ceiling were covered in dark brown wood paneling, though that detail seems rather unnecessary to mention). The others looked between each other and shrugged, then followed after her.

*****

The door to their counsel room was grand. Large, gilded with gold, marble, and all of the other fine things in life, and thoroughly not designed by Princess Celestia. Rather, it was clear to just about anypony that somepony else was the one who had been the mastermind behind it. After all, it wasn't much like her (or the other Princesses for that matter) to go for that which was extravagant, fancy, or ostentatious. Now, that's not to say that they didn't enjoy the finer things from time to time, but having a picture-perfect crystal engraving of your image dominating both doors struck them as being simply unnecessary (if not gaudy). Even the guards outside it were far too fancy for the occasion.

Applejack rolled her eyes. Nobles. These doors were clearly designed by nobles. The two guards saluted as the group of them approached the door. “Sargent Ironhooves!” one of them said.

“At ease men.” he replied back. “These fine ponies wish an audience with the Princesses.”

“Are you sure sir? We've been told that they are to not be bothered under any circumstance. And if I'm not mistaken, Sir, aren't these ponies the friends of Princess Twilight Sparkle?” the guardpony replied, looking the group of them over.

“Oh don't worry about that! I've thoroughly determined that they're not. And I know the princesses have requested to be left alone, but look at these poor ponies. It's clear they've come a long way for this. I'm sure the princesses wouldn't mind taking a quick break to talk to some of their subjects.” Sargent Ironhooves nodded.

“Uh, are you sure about that, Sir? I mean, that mare looks a lot like Rainbow Dash. And I'm pretty sure that's Pinkie Pie.” The guard pointed at each of them.

“Oh no no! If they were, 'Rarity'” he said that with heavy quotations, “would have a white coat. As you can see, it's rainbow colored. So, clearly they are NOT Princess Sparkle's friends!”

The two guards looked between each other with dumbfounded looks. “Uh, are you certain, Sir?” the guard asked, “I mean, that seems awfully flims-”

“I'm telling you they are NOT her friends! I checked them out myself!” he stomped a hoof on the ground.

“I, but, Sir-” the guard said helplessly.

“Now you go in there and tell her Highness that there are five very tired subjects who want to speak with her, her sister, and Princess Cadenza!” the guard hesitated for a moment. “That's an order!” Ironhooves shouted, causing the guard to jump a little.

“S-Sir!” he saluted, then opened and walked through a small, pony-sized door that was hidden in the much larger door behind him.

Ironhooves shook his head. “Tsk tsk tsk. Guards these days. Thinkin' they can give ya lip just because they're guarding a big fancy door! Humph! In my day I woulda had to gallop around the castle grounds all night for that kind of insubordination!” he glared at the other guard, who stared back at him nervously. Several moments of tense silence passed, with the two of them locked into what appeared to be a staring contest. It didn't take long for the 4 friends to feel sorry for the poor guard, as it didn't take long for him to start shaking and sweating under that intense stare.

The door finally opened once more (just in time too, for the poor guard was about to crack and begin bawling for his mommy) and the first guard walked through. “Sir! Her Highness Princess Celestia has agreed to see them. Her Highnesses Princess Luna and Princess Mi Amore Candenza expressed that they too would like to meet the weary travelers!”

“Excellent!” Ironhooves cried. “OPEN THE DOOR!” he ordered, and as though by magic (which, you know, it was, thanks to two unicorn guards on the other side) the giant doors swung open on their own.

“Welcome weary travelers!” Princess Celestia's cheerful voice rang out. “We welcome you to our home, and are eager t-” she stopped cold. She, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence, all sat at one one of a long conference table. And on all of their faces were bright, happy smiles. Smiles that promptly died and turned to shock when they suddenly saw who it was Ironhooves had just let into their chamber.

There was silence. If there had been a tumbleweed, it would have rolled by.

Applejack took her hat off and placed it over her heart and bowed her head slightly. “Uh, hello, yer Highnesses...” she said sheepishly.

“Sargent Ironhooves.” Princess Celestia said, her face finally free from shock.

“Yes your Highness!” He saluted eagerly.

“You're fired.”

*****

Fortunately, Colgate, Berry, Bon-Bon, and Lyra were completely ignorant of what had just transpired. If they had know what had just happened, Colgate would have been rather sad, yet unsurprised by the sudden turn of events. You see, old Ironhooves was a bit of a friend to her. Well, it was one of those things were they were kinda friends. I mean, they never hung out, but, like, you know, when they saw each other they waved and if they saw each other at parties or whatever they usually hung out. In fact, he was usually one of the ponies Colgate would hang with to avoid the head-splitting chaos that was Berry's antics at parties. I mean, have you SEEN her when she gets going? Berry's actually banned, BANNED, from at least 3 or 4 different party venues because of her antics. And these were the kind of places that usually encourage that kind of stuff! So, Ironhooves was, to Colgate, a friendly face and a voice of sanity (relatively speaking) in a world of madness.

No, as far as they knew, all was well at home. But home was not what was on their minds. What was on their minds was the rather fancy toothbrush that now hung in the air in front of Colgate.

“I-I can't believe it!” Colgate squeaked. So excited was she that her life-long curse of silly-serious voice didn't even bother her. “It's the real deal! It's the brush! We've made it Berry! We finally got what we've been looking for!” she let out a rather excited squeal and began dancing about in spot. Berry, still rather large, simply contented himself with stomping his front hooves on the ground (for he feared what he might destroy if he too should dance about). Lyra looked rather surprised at how excited Colgate got, and Bon-Bon was distracted by the expression Steve was wearing.

It bothered her. He didn't look excited, or surprised, or even pleased. Rather, he had the look of a merchant who was giving something a scrutinizing gaze. Like a shop owner gauging how much to charge for an object. He watched with careful eyes as Colgate got up and ran over to Berry and began dancing with him all the same. He then grinned and licked his lips slightly.

“So, I take it you're rather interested?” he said pleasantly.

“Are you KIDDING?!” Colgate shouted in a pitch that was almost unrecognizable, “We've been through Tatraus and back looking for this thing!” she shouted, her happiness overflowing.

“Wonderful! And I'm more then happy to give it to you!” He smiled.

“YES!” Colgate cried.

“After you've paid me of course.” he grinned.

“Y-Wait, what?” Colgate said, stopping mid-step in her dance with Berry. Berry, thanks to the sudden loss of momentum, tripped and fell, though not onto Colgate.

“ Well, it is my property. And I'm a hydra of business. While I'm happy for you that you've found what you're looking for, I can't just let you take it for nothing.” he more or less shrugged (lacking proper shoulders, it was rather difficult to do).

“B-But-”

“No buts little miss.” he said firmly. “It's only fair that I ask for something in exchange.”

“OH COME ON!” Lyra shouted. “We've come this far, and you gotta be a huge flankho-”

“Do you accepts bits?” Bon-Bon asked.

He shook his head. “No, I have no need for Equestrian currency out here.”

“That makes a lot sense.” Berry said. “So, what can we give you?”

“Humm...” he thought for a moment. “That is a good question.”

“How about a drink of this?” Berry asked, holding the bottle aloft.

“BERRY! NO!” Colgate shouted.

“Hold on, let her speak.” Bon-Bon said, rising a hoof.

“Her?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah! You see, this brew is magical! I don't know how it works exactly, but when pony drinks it, it changes them. You see, I'm normally a mare, but when I drink it, I change into this!” he looked himself over as though to prove the point. “And when Lyra here drinks it, she becomes something that can change shape! And when Bon-Bon here drank it, she became a dragon-slaying army-annihilating commando!” he pointed at her rather excitedly.

Bon-Bon's eyes opened wide for a moment, then she turned her head to the side indignantly and huffed. “I do not wish to speak of it again. Besides, it only worked once.” she said.

“Only once?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“It only needed to work once!” Berry exclaimed.

“I see.” Steve looked thoughtfully at Bon-Bon. “I'm guessing the change is not permanent. How long does it last and can it be ended prematurely?”

“Well, it lasts as long as the alcohol is in your system.” Berry smiled.

“It's alcohol?” Steve looked at Berry with surprise.

“Yep! It's a special brew I made for a coming of age party for the little sister of a friend! Though, I had no idea how powerful it was when I made it!” Berry looked at the bottle.

“I see. What's it made of?”

“Besides the usual stuff, I used some Poison Joke and Heart's Desire, and a few other things, but those are a trade secret.” he winked.

“I see. Interesting choices. And can it be ended early?”

“Yep! Just take another drink after you've changed!” Berry smiled.

“I think I may have found your payment.” he smiled. “In exchange for the brush, I would like to see each of you, save you, my good Doctor, and of course you my beloved,” he smile a goofy grin at Photo who blushed and smiled back, “take a drink of the brew. It's been a long time since I've seen something that I'm sure would be so entertaining!”

“Uh, in a sec.” Berry said, suddenly looking a little unsure.

“Mind if we have a quick sec to talk about it?” Colgate asked.

“Go right ahead.” Steve shrugged. The four of them (Colgate and co. to be exact) huddled together and began whispering to each other in hushed whispers.

“Do you think we can trust him?” Berry asked.

“He's a jerk!” Lyra complained.

“It seems like we are getting too good of a bargain. An ancient artifact for a side show? I am hesitant.” Bon-Bon said.

“Well, we've come this far. We gotta do something!” Colgate said.

“Fair point.” Bon-Bon agreed.

“I don't like this guy. We can't trust him!” Lyra almost spat.

“Well, it wouldn't hurt to try, right? I mean, I'd kinda like to go back to being a girl.” Berry smiled.

WHY DID HIS SMILE HAVE TO BE SO PERFEC- “But I don't want to drink it!” Colgate argued.

“Well, you are the only one left who has yet to do so.” Bon-Bon pointed out.

“That's right! You totally got to try it!” Lyra said excitedly.

Colgate opened her mouth, but Berry spoke faster, “No. She doesn't want to do, and it's not right to force her.”

“Well, then what can we do?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Could we give it to him? Wait! We should totally have him take a drink!” Lyra pipped up.

“Forgive me for interrupting, but might I ask if you've come to a consensus?” Steve asked.

“Huh?” Colgate's head popped up out of the group and looked at him. “Oh, not ye-”

“Sure have!” Lyra cried as she suddenly turned around and looked at him. “We're gonna share a drink with you, and then give you the bottle!” she beamed.

“Wait, WHAT?” the other three said in surprise.

Lyra turned around and looked at them, “Trust me!” Lyra said with a wink. Bon-Bon shook her head and the other two gulped hard.

“Oh dear me! I can't say I've drank liquor in some time. Last time I consumed several barrels and nothing happened. Besides, I'm more a tea hydra myself.” he shook his head. “Still, if it does what you say it does, then I'll admit to a level of curiosity as to what it would do to me and my kin here.”

“Wait, ALL of us?” Doc answered.

“Totally!” Lyra nodded.

“Not my beloved!” Steve objected.

“You do not speak fur me!” Photo said.

“Great Scott!” Doc looked horrified, then suddenly excited. “Can I try it first?”

“Sure! Why not?” Lyra looked over at Berry and held out an expecting hoof. Berry looked at her like she was crazy, but agreed and handed her the bottle. Lyra grabbed, levitated it, and brought it over to Time's cup. “Ready?” she asked.

“Absolutely!” he nearly cried, dumping the rest of his tea onto the ground (causing Steve's eye to tick slightly with annoyance [that was good tea too!]). Lyra tipped the bottle, and filled his cup. “Well then, bottom's up!” he cried and lifted his little cup high into the air.

“W-wait!” Berry cried, causing all to pause and look at her.

“Yes?” Doc asked.

“Uh, is it okay if I take a drink real quick? I'm not really comfortable like this and if we're gonna have a party, I'd like to be me.” Berry blushed a bit and looked to the side.

“Oh...” Doc looked at him, then at their huge host, who simply shrugged. “Well, uh, sure thing Sir-” Berry shot him a look, “er-Madam!”

Lyra looked between the two and shrugged and levitated the bottle over to Berry's tea cup (which was likewise emptied onto the ground, once more to their host's annoyance). She filled it, and Berry looked into her cup as though it were some sort of sweet, sweet nectar. She drank it swiftly.

Much to Steve's, Doc's, and Photo's surprise, Berry's head inflated like a balloon. His limbs elongated and his face suddenly stretched out. Then, quite suddenly, he smooshed together as though somepony had tried to make him into a mushy Berry ball. He spun once, twice, and even thrice. Then, all at once, her limbs and head all popped out to their normal sizes. She was a mare once again.

“Yes!” she cried and hopped into the air. “It feels so good to be me again!”

“Great withering stallions!” Turner cried. “That was remarkable! I've never seen anything like it!”

“My good fellow, I think that given your current memory, you wouldn't know it even if you had.” Steve smiled.

“Oh,” he paused for a moment. “Good point.”

“Vas vat dat?!” Photo cried in horror. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?!”

“Nope! Never felt better!” Berry laughed. “I mean, I feel a little strange, but that's to be expected after switching between being a stallion and a mare.”

Photo blinked several times (though nopony could see it because of her massive glasses). “Are you certain?”

“Yep! I feel great!” Berry smiled.

“Well, I must admit,” Steve said, “I was not expecting to see something like that!” he smiled a huge smile. “Very well, Why don't we all take a drink!?” he laughed. “Save you, of course.” he looked over at Photo, who shook her head.

“No! I want to try!” she said firmly.

“But, we don't know what will happen, for all we know, you coul-”

“Give me the drink!” Photo interrupted her lover's objections.

Lyra, still holding the bottle, looked at Berry, who simply shrugged as if to say 'why are you asking me?'. She then walked over to Photo, who politely finished her tea (which was much less irritating to Steve, though he was sad that it had to be chugged rather then savored), then offered her cup. Lyra filled it, and Photo raised it up as if to offer a toast. “To FASHION!” she cried, and chugged it all at once. Doc, who had been quietly sitting there with his own drink in his hoof, simply set it down when it became clear that he would have to wait his turn.

“Are you alright? How do you feel?” Steve asked before she could even pull the glass away from her lips.

“It tastes odd. It is like nothing I've ever had!” Photo said as she looked at her glass. “I feel, I feel...” she cocked her head to the side and paused for a moment. Everypony held their breath for a moment. “I feel FANTASTIC!” she cried and jumped to her hooves. “I, PHOTO FINISH, can suddenly recall every picture that I have ever taken! Yes! I can see them! Thousands and thousands of models! Millions of dresses! I can see them all!” she cried as she stood on her hind legs and made a grand sweeping gesture in the air above her head. “Not only that! I can see them … I can see so many of them!” she said as she began to hover in the air.

“See what?” her lover asked.

“Tomorrow! I can see the dresses of Tomorrow! I see, PINSTRIPE!” she cried as both her outfit and her coat suddenly changed to pinstripe, and goodness did she look good in it. “I see, ZIPPERS!” she cried as she was suddenly covered in an outfit made entirely of zippers, which she looked simply amazing it. “I see, BEES!” She cried as suddenly, from the very swamps around them, thousands and thousands of bees suddenly flew into the clearing and surrounded Photo, creating much larger version of her, nearly half as large as her dear lover. “I SEE,” she cried with a thunderous voice that reverberated through the ground, “NOTHING!” At her cry, the bees suddenly vanished, taking with them her entire outfit, her hair, her mane, and even her trademark glasses. “AND IT IS GLORIOUS!” she screamed as suddenly she was surrounded by light and blinding glory. So great was it that all had to avert their eyes, save one of the hydra heads, who simply stared at her dumbfounded. It lasted a moment or two, then she slowly descended to the ground (for she had lifted up off of it several hooves when she had proclaimed her glory), and the light about her faded, though never fully diminished. She then raised her lowered head, and opened her eyes to look about causing everypony, save Steve, to gasp in surprise.

“I didn't know you were wall-eyed!” Lyra said, gawking.

“LYRA!” Bon-Bon shouted and promptly smacked the back-side of her head.

“What?” she asked painfully, rubbing the now throbbing spot. “It's not like you didn't notice!”

“CORRECT!” Photo announced. “And now you know why it is that I wear my glasses!”

“Well, that and you do look simply smashing in them, my dear.” Steve smiled, once his angry face had vanished (he was not pleased that the others had reacted the way they had).

“ALSO CORRECT!” she shouted, throwing a hoof into the air for emphasis.

“You're also bald, and, well, your coat's gone.” Lyra pointed out, ducking out of the way of another blow from Bon-Bon.

“Not one for tact, is she?” Steve asked, trying his best to hide his annoyance.

Bon-Bon let out an exasperated sigh. “No, and she never has been.”

“Wait, this is true?!” She looked at herself, and gasped. Thankfully, her skin color wasn't much different then her coat color, but the lack of mane and tail was rather odd looking. She gasped as she rubbed her skin with her hooves as though prove the point. She rubbed the top of her head, and was clearly disturbed by the lack of resistance she felt. Then she looked back at her tail, and was shocked to see nothing but a small nub in its place. “I-I, I LOOK...” she turned once or twice in place too give herself one more look over, “FABULOUS!” she cried happily, and, as if on command, she very much suddenly did. Granted, nothing physically changed, but in the eyes of all who beheld her, she looked the very soul of fashion.

Lyra let out a low whistle. “Wow. I've never really been that much into fashion, but maybe I should shave my coat!” she said.

Berry nodded. “Yeah, I'm thinking that too...”

“She looks so nice...” Colgate stared in awe.

“I … I have to agree...” Bon-Bon said, rather hesitantly.

It was clear that Photo was pleased with this turn of events, as a large smile crossed her lips as she sat back down onto the ground. “Who is next?!” she asked rather excitedly.

“Me!” Doc announced as he rose his glass high into the air.

“This outta be good...” their over-sized host grinned.

Doc smiled up at him and raised his glass in a cheer, and drank it. Then promptly spit it out. “OHH! That was horrible!” he cried as he looked at his cup in disgust. “What IS this stuff?!” he asked as his look of displeasure grew.

“It's booze.” Berry said. He looked at her with a confused expression. “You know, booze? Alcohol?”

He shook his head, as Steve spoke up, “I fear our good friend here is suffering from a bad case of near-total amnesia. So, I'm afraid he simply has no idea what that is.”

“Oh.” Berry said, leaning back in surprise. “That sucks. You alright?”

“I will be once I get this taste out of my mouth!” he said, sticking his tongue out.

“Did you actually drink it?” Colgate asked.

Time shook his head. “Absolutely not! The moment that … horrid liquid hit my mouth, I spat it right out!”

“I'm surprised you know what a mouth is.” Steve said.

“Well of course I know what a mouth is! And I can tell you, the moment that swill touched my taste-buds, I wanted nothing to do with it!” he shook his head.

“Wait,” Colgate said, raising a hoof, “You said he had near-total amnesia?” she asked, looking up at Steve. He nodded. “But you know what taste-buds are?” she asked.

“Well, yes! It's basic knowledge! I leaned about it in kindergarten!” he said, somewhat annoyed.

“My good Doctor,” Steve asked, “What is your name?” he asked with a look of curiosity.

“Me? Well, if you must know, my name is Doctor Time Turner! I'm a PhD in Temporal Studies and Application!” he announced proudly.

“HA!” Steve cried happily. “It seems that drink cured you! Well done little pony!” he said as he turned to look at Berry. “Well done indeed!” he was clearly very pleased. “This is quite the tonic you've made! Yes, this is simply amazing! It made my dear Photo even better then before, and it even reversed the effects of a powerful hex! This truly is quite amazing!” he smiled all the more.

“Wait, a hex?” Colgate asked, looking at Time Turner nervously.

“Oh yes, these swamps are under quite the terrible curse!” The Hydra said gleefully. “Don't ask me when or how it happened, but for as long as I've known these lands, they've carried a truly terrible curse. From what I've been able to see, this was once, long ago, quite the thriving jungle! Now, it is filled with dangerous creatures, and even the water itself carries cursed magic in it. To say nothing of the dirt, or the poor, poor trees.” he then chuckled. “Technically, I myself am part of the curse.”

“Wait, really? But you seem so nice!” Colgate said.

“Thank you my dear. You see, I differ, well, 'I' being a relative term since all four of us are technically the same creature, because rather then simply give in to my base nature of wanting to eat anything intelligent that wanders into the swamp, I decided to learn more about them. I realized the advantage of that when it came time to eat my first pony. You see, I backed the poor creature into a corner, and just as I got within eating range, he started offering bargains for his life. Well, he offered some very nice offers, and had such an interesting personality, that I hesitated and decided that I would hear him out. I then invited him to stay at my lair for a few days, and there found out about a world beyond the swamp. He taught me about all sorts of interesting things. He taught me about different ponies, and towns, and castles, and harmony, and all sorts of other things. And it wasn't until I ran into another group of ponies in a different swamp that I realized that his words were more then simple smoke. It was then that I decided that I would go to the heart of it all and see for myself what it was all about.”

“Who did you run into?” Colgate asked.

“Nopony important I suspect.” He shrugged.

“Where did this happen?” She asked.

“I believe it was called something like Froggy Bottom Swamp or something like that,” if he had a hoof, he would have waved it in a dismissive gesture. “But that's not really important.”

“So I take it was then you went to Canterlot?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Right you are! And the rest, as they say, is history.” he nodded. “Now then, I think I'll take the next drink.”

“Wait, you're not going to wait until we've all taken a drink?” Berry asked.

He shook his head. “Originally, yes. But I fear I'm simply too excited to see what will become of me when I do. Though, I wonder if what little you have will be enough...”

“Oh, that's no problem!” Lyra said cheerfully. “It's bottomless!”

“REALLY?” he exclaimed.

“Yep!” Lyra nodded.

“I-I don't know if I believe that. Hold on.” he lumbered out of the clearing for a moment, then returned with a large barrel. “Fill this.” he put it on the ground, and popped off the lid. Lyra levitated the bottle over it, and turned it upside down and poured, and poured, and poured. Steve watched in growing disbelief as the small bottle churned out more and more of the liquid then it should have ever been able to hold. “That's enough.” he said after watching it pour for nearly five minutes (it was big barrel). “I've never seen anything like it.” He then grabbed the barrel with his own mouth (for the other mouths had been doing most of the lifting and moving of this, that, and the other), and lumbered back out of sight. After a few moments, he returned with four pony-sized mugs that were filled to the brim (it was a very big barrel). “Well then, to our health!” he cried after all of the heads had put their drinks on the ground. They then lifted them up, clinked them together, and drained their cups.

Bad move guys, bad move…

Author's Note

I now wonder if hydras have one large stomach with which to hold their food, or if they have one per head? :rainbowhuh:

The questions that keep me up at night... :raritydespair:

*ahem* That aside, this part ten is shorter then the usual chapter endings. There is a reason for that, and the reason is fairly simple: The ending is simply too big to sick into one part.

Yes, the ending.

This story, this rather long tale, is finally reaching the ending. May it be satisfying. If not, then I shall offer permission to tape my eyes to the floor and to pour hot tar on my feet.

Chapter Three: Part Eleven

Chapter Three: Part Eleven

“F-Fired? H-ha! Good jok-”

“No. I'm not joking. You're dismissed.” Princess Celestia said rather sternly.

Ironhooves' jaw dropped. “B-but why your highness? Have I not served you faithfully for all these years?”

“Ironhooves.” Princess Luna said, sitting up, and sharing her sister's stern gaze, “I fear you have failed us in a way too great to measure.”

“Well, hold on,” Princess Cadence interrupted, “Sure he messed up big, but perhaps rather than fire him, how about reposting him? I mean, we all make mistakes, right?”

“Perhaps she is right, Sister. Perhaps we act a bit rashly.” Princess Luna said, looking at her sister.

Princess Celestia looked at Twilight’s friends, then at the other princesses, then, finally, at Ironhooves. “Very well. You are not fired.” Ironhooves heaved a sigh of relief. “You are, however, to be placed into the dungeon until we decide what to do with you. Guards! Take him away!” she ordered.

“Now wait just a darn minute here!” Applejack suddenly said, much to everypony's surprise, even her own. There was a long pause.

“Yes, Applejack?” Princess Celestia said.

“W-wait...” Ironhooves' eyes suddenly got wide, and he slowly turned to look at Applejack. “You mean to tell me, you're ACTUALLY Applejack?”

“'friad so.” Applejack smiled.

"And, then, that would mean that the rest of you really are..." his gaze glanced over the other four he had brought.

"Twilight's friends? Yep!" Pinkie said, beaming with cheeriness.

His jaw dropped, nearly hitting the floor. He then looked at them, then at Princess Celestia, then back at them, then back at her. “I-I see...” he said, suddenly shocked/horrified/dejected/understanding. “I, uh, I'll see myself out then … to, uh, the dungeon...” he hung his head, and walked out of the room. Once he was gone, the door slammed shut, leaving Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity alone with the Princesses (save two guardponies on this side of the door, but they're not important).

There was another long pause. Then Celestia let out a sigh. “Well, this was not exactly what we had expected.”

“Indeed.” Luna nodded.

“How did you guys get here?” Cadence asked.

“Mind telling us what's going on?” Rainbow said.

“So I take it that this isn't just a friendly visit?” Celestia said sadly as she returned to her seat.

“Are you kidding me? I MOMENT I mentioned that we were coming to meet you guys, Rarity here went NUTS!” Rainbow said, pointing to their sill drooling comrade. “She freaking used her magic and somehow supercharged the train or something like that and turned a three day trip into like, a few hours! I'm pretty sure nopony's EVER gone that fast before! And, you know, there's that part where she kept saying 'When I get my hooves on that PRINCESS!' like she was crazy or something like that! I've never seen a pony look that insane before!”

Luna and Cadence turned and looked at Celestia. “What did you do?” Luna asked.

Celestia looked over at poor Rarity and blinked a few times. “I'm not sure. All I did was start a new fashion trend in Manehatten.”

“So you guys WERE behind it all!” Pinkie declared proudly.

“I'm afraid so Ms. Pie.” Celestia sighed.

“But, like, why?” Rainbow asked. "Why did you do all of this to us?"

The three Princesses looked between each other, none of them wanting to speak, but eventually all eyes fell on Celestia, who once again sighed and looked down at the table, then up at the four of them. “Because we needed to keep all of you away from a pony named Colgate.”

*****

She really felt bad for the poor guy. It was clear that carrying her like that was really quite tiring. Granted, she wasn't a very big mare, but she imagined that she was heavier than a stack of papers. From what she'd learned about him, most of his life was spent doing paperwork (mostly legal paperwork). Apparently he was an early bloomer and got his mark early, and had been more or less working a desk job ever since (she guessed that as a young colt, he really liked homework). How a pony like him got roped into doing something like this, she'll never really understand. After her meeting with the Princess, she was told to wait for help at the edge of town. It was then that she had met him for the first time in her life. Apparently (according to him anyway), he was the only pony who was in a position to help, and was under orders to do so. The more she had asked about what he had meant by that, the more tight-lipped he got. So, eventually, she dropped it and figured that the princess had connections and knew ponies that Litterbug could only ever dream of. Though it did bug her a bit that he was so unwilling to share any personal details. Oh well. This job from the princess would be done soon enough. Although, with any luck, perhaps she might get a promotion for this!

She grinned a little and giggled a bit. No, no. It wasn't about getting promotions or anything like that. In fact, she wasn't even under orders to do this! No, she was doing this because Princess Twilight needed help, and by Joe's Doughnuts, she was going to help!

“Something funny?” he asked as they flew through the air. The sun was finally beginning to set, and Litterbug looked over at the horizon.

“Just thinking.” she said casually.

“I see.” came the short reply.

Litterbug was a bit surprised. She had expected (and, to a small degree wanted) him to pry a little. “So?” she asked.

“So what?” he looked down at her with bored eyes.

“Nothing, never mind.” she shook her head.

“Okay.” he said simply as he looked up.

“Really? You really don't want to know or care?” she asked, looking up at him with a mixture of curiosity and mild annoyance.

“About what?” he looked down at her once more.

“What I'm thinking about?” she asked.

“Your thoughts are your business. I don't see why I need to know them.” he shrugged.

“You're not even curious?” Litterbug asked.

“Not really.”

“Why?”

“Look, can we please stop wasting time? It's been a very long day. And, to be perfectly honest, I'm getting very, very tired. Forgive me for being so forward, but all of this teleporting around and flying has begun to wear me down.” he tiredly said.

“Oh...” Litterbug looked down, then at the sunset again. “Yeah, sorry about that. I wish there was a better way to do this.”

“There is.” he said quietly.

“Wait, there is?” she asked quite surprised.

His eyes suddenly jerked open in surprise, and he looked down at her, blushing slightly. “H-Huh? What? I-I don't know what you're talking about! This method is perfectly valid. I said nothing!” he pursed his lips together and looked off to the side. She suddenly got the feeling that he wished he hadn't said that.

“Wait, what is it? Is there a better way?” she asked eagerly. Several moments passed. “Hello?”

“No. No there is not. This is the best way, and that's all there is to it!” he huffed, and then nodded once as though he had proven his point.

Litterbug grinned. “There's more to this story isn't there?” she asked.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” he said.

“I think you do.” she smiled; “You said that you do paperwork all day long, right?” he nodded. “Then I'd bet that you're pretty smart. At least enough to know how to be efficient at it, right? I mean, you're not the kind of pony to waste time, right?” she asked.

“What's your point?” he asked, raising an eyebrow,

She smiled all the larger, looking much like a grinning cat. “So I bet that means you like to do things as efficiently as possible. So, if that's so, and you happen to know of a more effect way to do this, then that means that there's a reason we're going around like this! I'd bet you have a personal reason for traveling like this!” she declared proudly.

“Wrong.” he said, though not too convincingly.

“You know, I'm gonna make a pretty big bet, and I'm gonna guess you're not actually under orders to do this, are you?” she asked, almost licking her lips.

“I am your transport, not a subject of interrogation. Is that amulet ready to be used yet?” he asked, his brave business face cracking.

“It is if you answer my question.” she looked up at him, her devilish grin bigger then ever.

There was a long pause. “No.” he said tersely.

“I thought so! So, why are you doing this then?” she asked, her face a little more gentle.

“I thought you said you'd use the amulet if I answered your question.” he looked down at her, his face a rather complicated mix of emotions.

“Please?” she asked, rather sweetly.

She saw his eye tic, his head shake a little in rage, his eyes close, and then he finally let out a sigh. “Fine. But if I answer this last question, will you please stop interrogating me?” She nodded, he sighed. I'm not doing this for the Princess; I'm doing this for-”

*****

“Colgate?” Rainbow asked, dumbfounded. “Like, our DENTIST?”

“We have a dentist?” Pinkie asked.

“Sure we do!” Fluttershy smiled. “She's so nice. I visit her office all the time! She even looks at my furry friends!”

“That is correct.” Luna nodded. “It is the very same.”

“But, why?” Applejack asked, looking confused.

The three princesses looked between each other once more. Then Celestia spoke. “Over a thousand years ago, my sister and I were approached by Colgate. Though, she had a different name at the time.”

“Some called her by her title, Starswirl.” Luna added.

“Starswirl? Isn't that the famous unicorn wizard Twilight likes to write those dorky stories about?” Rainbow asked.

“Correct, but also incorrect.” Luna nodded. “Starswirl was the first to hold that title. After him came Clover the Clever, who declined to be called Starswirl. However, the position he held gained his name, and all others that followed were given the same. Though, that system died out shortly after we defeated Discord.” Luna looked over at her sister, who shared a look before looking back at the four friends.

“Indeed. After his defeat-”

“Which, I must say, is still rather embarrassing!” Discord's voice rang throughout the hall before his face filled the giant table. “I mean, FRIENDSHIP? I, ME! Was defeated by the power of FRIENDSHIP? Ugg!” he rolled his eyes as he emerged from the table, and took a seat at one of the chairs. Silence fell as everpony in the room looked at him. “What?” he shrugged. “Oh, was I interrupting? How rude of me! Go on!” he smiled as he leaned forward and rested his chin on his … err … forward appendages.

“Whoa! What's HE doing here?!” Rainbow pointed an angry hoof at him.

“Now now, my dear Rainbow Dash. No need for hostilities! I'm just here to help our royal highnesses sort everything out!” he smiled, a small halo appearing above his head.

“More like popping in when he feels like it.” Cadence muttered.

“Oh, well, excuse ME for wanting to offer a shred of my infinite wisdom and knowledge about what is to be done about our dear Princess of Friendship!” he said with an over-abundance of drama. “But we digress, do we not?” he smiled and turned to Celestia.

Celestia cleared her throat. “Yes, after his defeat, we felt that now that we had the Elements of Harmony, the station of Starswirl was no longer needed.”

“And as I said, Colgate was one of these Starswirls.” Luna said.

“Oh THAT'S why she seemed so familiar! But wasn't she called something like, Minuette, or Hearttrot, or some such?” Discord asked.

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Do you know her, Discord?”

“Me? Oh, not personally, no. I just remember seeing her around Ponyville, and thinking to myself, 'She seems awfully familiar!'” he shrugged. “And now I know why. Say, didn't she help you two find those,” he gagged slightly, “'Elements of Harmony'?”

Celestia shook her head. “No. If you will recall, she was supposed to help keep you in check while we went out looking for them.”

Discord put a thoughtful paw to his chin. “Oh yes, I think I recall this now!” he laughed, “Oh do I remember it! She was a hoot!” he slapped his knee. “Of course, that may have had something to do with me turning her to an owl.”

“That would explain all of the feathers when we finally found her.” Luna said, looking up slightly.

“Pardon me for interruptin' but could we git to tha' point?” Applejack politely asked.

“Yes.” Celestia nodded. “Not long after Discord's defeat, Colgate departed for a time. She said that she had left to meditate on what had happened, and to see more of the world.”

“Sounds like sour grapes to me.” Discord grinned.

Celestia shot him a look as Luna continued the story, “When she finally came back, we had thought her mad.”

Luna nodded, "Indeed. She told us of a terrible danger from the stars, and that it would soon come to the past. A danger that she called, 'Entropy'."

Celestia shook her head. “It made no sense to us, but given how high the pitch of her voice was, we knew that it must be important.” She then blushed slightly and coughed.

Luna shot her sister a knowing grin. “Doth her affliction amuse you still?”

“Her voice still does it!” Discord laughed.

“What? What are you talking about?” Cadence asked.

“I'll tell you later.” Celestia said, waving a dismissive hoof. “A-anyway, the point is that we asked what we could do to help. That's when she told us something that neither of us could believe.”

“She told us that she wanted us to split her into three parts.” Luna said gravely.

“Wait, WHAT?” Pinkie said.

“Why would she ask you to do something like that?” Fluttershy asked.

“Forget asking why, HOW?” Rainbow eyes got rather wide.

“By dividing her mind into three different ponies.” Luna answered looking over at her sister.

“Oh? Did you actually do it?” Discord asked.

The two sisters hesitated. Finally, Celestia answered, “Yes. Yes we did.”

“Now can we ask why?” Pinkie asked.

“We, we don't fully know.” Celestia admitted.

“WHAT?!” came the collective cry from everypony in the room (including Discord), save Luna and Cadence.

“Wait just a minute here!” Applejack protested. “You sayin' that you split her mind inta three different ponies, and y'all don't even know WHY she wanted ya ta do it?”

“We trusted her judgment, and knew that she wouldn't ask for such a thing lightly.” Luna explained. “So, upon her deathbed, we divided her mind into three parts. Her knowledge, her memoires, and her personality.”

“Wait, her deathbed?” Applejack asked. “Forgive me, yer highnesses, but this an't makin' a lot o' sense.” she shook her head. “Split her inta three? How can ya do that? And what do ya mean, 'her deathbed'? This is an awful lot ta take in all at once.”

“And it's kind of sudden too!” Pinkie announced. “Like, where did all of this even come from? Kinda outta the blue. No pun intended.” she winked, causing a groan of pain from nearby (it was one of the guards standing at the door),

“Not to mention you still haven’t even told us WHY you were all keeping us from her!” Rainbow exclaimed.

“She's right. I think we owe them an explanation.” Cadence nodded.

“YOU. BET. YOUR. CROWNS YOU DO!!” A cry of unbridled fury suddenly filled the air, as everypony turned to see Rarity rising to her hooves. “After what you had put me through, you had BETTER have a good reason for it!” her eyes were on fire, and there was nothing but death in them. Every, single, pony in the room took several steps back (save the guards [they're such troopers]) from the now awake and furious Rarity. “Nopony, and I mean NO PONY, should EVER go through that sort of ordeal!”

Luna looked over at Celestia with wide eyes. “Sister, what did you do?”

Celestia shook her head. “All I did was wear a beehive on my head in Times Stable...”

“I KNEW IT WAS YOU!” Rarity bellowed. “No pony alive would have known how to wear such an ancient fashion!”

“Y-yes.” Celestia cleared her throat as Luna and Cadence looked over at her with a 'what in the world did you DO?' look. “A-anyway. She told us that she had banished the danger, but that in order to destroy it, she, and only those she choose, would have to be with her when she faced it once and for all. And if anypony else was there, that would mean nothing but disaster for all of Equestria.”

“And we believe that time has come. And we knew that you six would want to be there, so we tried our best to keep you away.” Cadence said, a bit shamefully.

“Why didn't you just tell us, or at least Twilight?” Rainbow asked.

“That's part of what we were discussing. Whether or not to tell you, and how much to tell you.” Celestia explained.

“Is that so?” Rarity said dangerously. “Well, then, I think it's about time you told us EVERYTHING.”

The three of them looked between each other, and then nodded. “Yes, I think you should know.” Celestia said. And she would have too. Not only that, they would have released Twilight from her rather luxurious prison and brought her to the palace. They would have done all of this, if there wasn't a tiny, itty bitty problem preventing them from so doing.

You see, it was at that precise moment when reality as they knew it broke, and was ripped asunder.

*****

As Steve and the other heads drained their glasses, they slammed them onto the ground. “Goodness me! That was, at once, both the most wretched thing I have ever tasted, and the most wonderful thing I have ever drank!” his eyes shot open and he looked around. “I, I feel, strange. I feel...” his eyes went a bit distant for a moment, then suddenly turned deep red, “HUNGRY!” he roared.

The others jumped back from him as all four heads let out a terrifying cry, and the hydra's body suddenly grew larger.

“BON-BON, CATCH!” Lyra cried as she tossed the drink at her.

“GOT IT!” Bon-Bon grabbed the bottle, and gave it a massive swig.

At that point, one had two very interesting things to look at. In the left corner, we have Bon-Bon, who, despite earlier failure, had begun to undergo her transformation process (with musical accompaniment none-the-less). In the other corner, the hydra. For Colgate, her eyes were glued on the latter, for its transformation was much more terrifying.

She watched in horror as large spines began to protrude out of the creature's body. Each head gained massive horns that were more accurately described as series of sharp spikes. From their jaws came even more spines, and all along its four necks large bony spikes shot out. From its chest burst forth four new legs, each with claws that were nearly as large as a pony. From its back came six massive wings, torn and terrifying. And its eyes went from solid red, to filled with fire and lighting. The creature let out another terrifying roar, and the trees near it bowed in fear, then splintered. In short, The Hydra and the other heads had become the stuff of nightmares.

Really, you'd think they would have learned their lesson about letting strange creatures drink this stuff. I mean, there was Pinkie, then there were some bandits, and there went Bon-Bon crashing through the trees like after being tossed like a rag-doll, and then there was the griff-wait, what?

Colgate blinked a few times at what had just happened. Bon-Bon, who had finished changing, had so easily, and simply, been tossed to the side by the monster that now stood before them. Lyra grabbed the bottle, swigged it, and then flew at the monster. She too was knocked easily to the side, with a cry of 'Your turn!' as the bottle was tossed to Berry.

The bottle landed on the ground in front of her, and she looked down at it hesitantly. “Go on, little pony, drink it...” four deep and sinister voices said. She looked up in surprise at the monstrous hydra that now stood over her. “Drink it...”

Berry blinked a few times, then grabbed the bottle.

“BERRY, DON-” Colgate cried, but in vain, for Berry had already drained it.

This time, however, nothing happened. Berry stood there, stunned. The creature laughed as it threw its heads back. “What is the matter, little pony?” with a swipe of one of its new legs, it easily brushed her aside, causing her to drop the bottle. “What about you?” the voices said as the monster turned to Time Turner. It then hesitated for a moment. “Are you not afraid?” it asked.

Colgate dared to take her eyes off of the monster for a moment. Standing there, staring right at the beast with the largest eyes (where those stars?) she'd ever seen, Time was smiling like a foal in a candy shop. “How could I be?!” he exclaimed. “You are the most fascinating creature I have EVER seen! Why, I'd bet there isn't another creature like you in all of Equestria!” he shouted.

The monster regarded him for a moment, as one of the heads bat Bon-Bon away once more. “You are most curious, and most likely delicious. Drink. Drink it little pony...” the beast said.

“And miss out on the chance to see what else you can do? No wa-” he shook his head, but was abruptly interrupted when on the heads grabbed him. He shouted out in surprise, which was drowned out as another head shoved the bottle into his mouth. He began coughing and gagging as the beverage nearly filled his lungs. Colgate took a few steps back as she saw him begin to glow, then, all at once, he simply vanished.

“What?” the monster exclaimed as the four heads began looking around. “Where is it?” they asked. After a moment of fruitless searching (and a casual Lyra deflection), it then turned towards Colgate. “And you, little pony, you will drink it too.” It said as it took a massive step towards her.

“STOP!” a sudden shout filled the area, causing the monster to turn around. Even Lyra and Bon-Bon froze in mid-air to look at the shouter. Photo Finish struck a hoof out and pointed at it. “STOP! Why are you doing this?! Do not hurt zem anymore!” she commanded.

The creature looked at her for a moment, then all four mouths grinned, showing far too many pointy teeth, “No.” they simply said, and turned back toward Colgate.

“Please, beloved! Leave them be! Come, drink vit me! Come! Now!” she stomped a hoof into the ground.

One of the heads turned back to her, and roared. Much to Photo's surprise, a blast of wind came from its mouth, knocking her back in to the trees and out of sight. It then turned once more back to Colgate. “Drink it.” the four heads said in unnerving unison.

For their part, Lyra and Bon-Bon were not to be so easily beaten. Indeed, from behind the monster came a huge teal net, which wrapped around two of the heads, and suddenly jerked backwards, knocking the whole creature off balance. She saw Bon-Bon suddenly swing from behind it, holding onto a white rope that tightened the net, and wrap around the other two heads. Then, with surprising strength, she pulled, and the net tightened, causing all four heads to yelp in surprise and gasp for air as the whole creature fell onto its back.

“BERRY!” Bon-Bon cried. “HURRY, THROW LYRA THE BOTTLE!” Colgate's head swung to the side and saw Berry (a bit battered and brushed), hold up her hoof to summon the bottle.

Nothing.

“BERRY!” both Bon-Bon and Lyra cried.

“I'M TRYING!” she cried. After a brief moment, the bottle finally appeared, and Berry threw it directly at the monster, and let out a shout of surprise as the bottle changed direction mid-air, and flew directly into her gaping mouth.

This time, the change was instant. Where Berry once stood was now the most dashing and handsome stallion Colgate had ever seen. Indeed, for a moment, he was the only thing she could see. He was as picaresque as a mare could ever hope for. He even flicked his head to the side, causing his long, flowing locks to flick in the air, causing her heart to flutter, and her senses to fail.

Then she got hit in the head, again. This time, however, she got hit in the head by a net, rather than some large, heavy, blunt object. Needless to say, she was knocked from her revere, and began struggling to free herself from said net.

“Ow!” Lyra said. “Stop kicking so hard! I'm trying to untangle us!”

“Sorry!” Colgate replied, relaxing a little as the felt the net around her begin to shift around of its own accord. It was a very strange sensation, and it only got weirder as she suddenly felt herself become lifted from the ground. She cried out in surprise, and saw the world around her spin a little, and then come to a stop, with three of the monster's faces looking at her. Still being trapped in the net (and nearly hanging upside down) she was powerless to do much more then simply stare at it. Well, that would be the case if it wasn't for the fact that she still had that numbing spell she could try.

Her horn glowed brightly as she tried to inject all three heads with Novocain. It hit them like a train, but sadly, she was only a little pony, and it was a very big monster. Indeed, the only visible effect that Colgate could see was the monster's three heads blink stupidly for a moment, before all three shook in perfect unison.

“Nice try, little pony. But such spells are useless against a hydra.” they all said. “One mind in four heads, four minds in one head. Unless all are afflicted, none are afflicted.”

“Alright, you heard him, I'll drop you and you try that again.” Lyra whispered into Colgate's ear. “Ready?”

“Wait, wha-” Colgate was caught completely by surprise as the net suddenly unwrapped her and she tumbled to the rather soggy ground below. Good thing it was soggy, for had it been hard, odds were she would have smack hard onto it and been out like a light. Since it wasn't, she landed softly (and half sunk) into the rather squishy ground. Also fortunately, she did not land on her head, but onto her rear hooves.

The impact, as well as the surprise of the fall, caused her to lose her sense of what was going on for a moment. Thankfully, Lyra was prepared for this, and proceeded to wrap herself around the head that had picked them up. The beast grabbed at her with the other three heads, and pulled to yank her off. It didn't feel good for poor Lyra. Bon-Bon, quicker than ever, leapt upon one of the heads, and promptly dropped a small round object on its nose. “EYES SHUT!” she cried, as a bright flash of light and a terrible sound filled the air.

The beast roared in annoyance, and flailed all of its heads madly, whipping everypony and everything on it and near it away, and far into the swamp. It then turned its heads to Colgate, and with eight twitching eyes, spoke: “Feisty little things, you ponies are. But I will not be denied!” it roared, causing the trees around the clearing to bend once mor-

Was that a flash of purple in the air?

“NOW DRINK!” the monster roared.

“BY THE ORDER OF THE VANHOOER GUARD, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!” A surprisingly small, yet authoritative voice shouted.

“YOU'RE NOT EVEN A MEMBER OF THE GUARD YET!” another voice shout-wait, she recognized that one!

“SHUT UP!” the other voice shouted, and as Colgate's head cleared, she saw a small-ish mare in a trashmare's jumpsuit leap from the sky upon the monster's head, and give it a good kick in the eye.

“MY EYE!” the monster roared, and the other three heads plunged at her. She leapt just in time to avoid them, causing them to crash into each othe- “GOTCHA!” it cried as one of the heads suddenly pivoted and grabbed her. “I know that trick!” it said. “I won't be fooled!”

“INSIGHT, HELP!” she cried.

Insight? Wait, INSIGHT?!

A yellow pegasus swooped out of the air, grabbing her and yanked her out of the mouth.

“INSIGHT?!” Colgate shouted in disbelief. The pegasus suddenly paused in surprised and turned to look at her. Not a wise move, as a head suddenly plowed into both he and the trasmare he was holding. “OOH! SORRY!” she shouted as the two of them smashed into the mud.

“Good to see you too, Colly...” he groaned from the mud.

“Move it!” the other mare said, jumping to her hooves, and yanking him out of the way of a massive stomping leg. Then another, then another. “You two know each other?!” She shouted amidst dodging.

“We dated each other at Canterlot University...” he said weakly.

It was about this point when Colgate was ready. She took a quick, deep breath (which both smelled and tasted awful), and closed her eyes in concentration. She imagined all four heads at once, and carefully targeted each one. It was not easy, but given that she only had four, it wasn't beyond her. Then, she filled her horn with a powerful surge of magic, and blasted all four with her spell.

The monster stopped dead in its tracks, and swayed slightly. Colgate could feel the numbing spell taking hold, and she could even feel it spreading through its body, even through that fifth head that suddenl-

Are you freaking kidding me?

Her eyes popped open just as she saw a fifth explode from the monster's body, and she felt her spell suddenly spread too thin. She tried to add the new head, but it was too quick, and picked her up with its new head. “Very clever! I should have thought of that one!” two of the heads said. The other two had begun snapping at (and missing thankfully) the other two.

So, where was Berry in all of this? Berry, for his part, had also been knocked to the side. Though that was hardly his fault. You see, the moment the drink had forced itself into him, his body had suddenly taken control of itself, and had begun striking a number of rather handsome (and distracting) poses right on the spot. He tried to fight it, but his body just wouldn't listen. Finally, when he had been thrown into the trees by the hydra mad flailing, his body and mind were synced once more. It taken a few moments to get his bearings again, but when he had, he charged directly back into the clearing. He had been just in time to see a now five-headed monster with Colgate in the mouth of one, and two other ponies he didn't know dodging two other heads. Though that latter detail meant little to him, as his eyes turned red the moment he saw Colgate in peril. He charged forward, and then his body suddenly stopped. 'What?!' he thought, 'MOVE!' he commanded his body, trying his best to force his hooves to move.

'No.' came a reply in his head.

'Wait, WHAT?' he cried in surprise.

'She must drink, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.' it said once more.

“Colgate!” Berry heard his mouth shout. “Drink it! It's the only way we can beat him!” 'NO!' he shouted. 'DON'T LISTEN!'

“Beat me?” the monster asked. “Why? I feel better then ever!”

Berry watched, and resisted as best as he could as his hoof lifted up to summon the bottle. 'Who are you?! What are you doing?!' he cried.

'I will not answer you, for you are unimportant.' it simply said.

“CATCH!” he cried as he tossed the bottle to her. He watched in horror as she caught the bottle with her magic, popped the top off-

“NO!” he cried, suddenly free.

-and took a deep drink.

And that was the exact moment that caused almost all of reality to break, and fall into nothingness.

Author's Note

Confession time: Insight is the OC/Ponysona (kinda both) of the fellow for whom I wrote this whole story. I know there was a bit of build-up to the perhaps underwhelming reveal. For that, well, I suppose I can offer no real excuse, other then inexperience.

That aside, this is the last part of Chapter three.

Chapter Four: The End

Chapter Four: The End

A breeze stirred Colgate from her slumber. Well, it was less the breeze, and more the tiny grains of dirt that managed to get under her eyelids that woke her up. She jumped to her hooves, blinking madly, trying to get it out of her eyes. It took a few moments, and a few tears, but eventually it all came out. With that out of the way, she did as all good ponies would do. She took a look around.

There was, nothing; save under her hooves was solid dirt. The sky was black. No stars. No sun. Nothing. She lit her horn, causing a bit of light to appear, and what she saw startled her. She saw the land around her fall away as though she were standing on a large sphere. What ground she saw was barren, cracked, and desolate. There was a strong, persistent breeze that blew about, picking up dust and throwing it into the void, as though the wind was trying to wear away the ground under and around her.

“You still exist?” came a voice. “How?”

Colgate looked around in alarm. “What?!”

“Though, I should not be surprised. You were always a clever opponent.” it said, a hint of irritation to its voice. “But that matters little. You are all that remains of your reality. And even you will, in time, vanish.”

Colgate paused for a moment, trying her best to remain calm. “Who are you?” she asked.

“You do not remember? This I do find surprising. You once called me Entropy, a name I despise, for names are meaningless.” the voice was both heard, and felt. It seemed to fill the void, and yet, cause it.

“What did you do?” she asked, looking around once more.

“Can you not tell? I have won. You fought against me, tried to prevent the very thing that I have done, and you failed. I have erased everything. Time, space, reality as you knew it. All of it I have undone.”

Colgate was, well, in shock. She wanted to feel anger, fear, anything. But she was unable to. It was too much to handle. After moment, she finally asked, “Why-”

“You know that answer, for it is why you gave me that name.”

"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes darting around, hoping to see the source of the voice, but seeing nothing.

"You once told me that I was a force of evil. You told me that I was evil, for I wished to unmake all things. You said that you would call me 'Entropy' for that is what entropy is; the eventual decline of all things, into nothing."

“How ... how could you have done this?” she asked, some semblance of emotion finally breaking through her shock.

“It is my nature, and my desire. All I lacked was the power to do it all at once. All things would eventually dissolve into nothing, for such is the fate of all. But I was impatient, and desired to do it at once.”

“But you'll dissolve as well!” she objected.

“How can nothing dissolve when I am that nothing?”

“I-”

“And if it were possible, that would be my wish.”

“You want to die just like everything else!?” she cried. “Then why?! Why not just leave us alone?!”

“Because to unmake is my nature. It is what I am. And I embrace it.”

“You MONSTER!” she cried.

“You called me that once before, and I will say what I have said each time: I care not for your words, for they, just like all things, are meaningless. You will vanish soon, and if I have my wish, I will as well. Then all will be as it should be: nothing.”

“No! That can't be true! I exist! There must be some way to stop you!” she cried.

“How? How can you fix what no longer exists? Or ever existed? It is impossible. You are beaten. You are done. You are, undone.” the voice said, as Colgate suddenly felt something envelop her. It felt as though it was trying to break her apart, but she fought, and fought hard. “You may have stopped me before, but this time you cannot!” it cried. Whatever was happening to her intensified, and she saw the tips of her mane begin to vanish, but she still fought.

“GET OFF OF ME!” she cried as she let out a surge of magic, shoving the horrible sensation away from her.

“It matters little. We need only wait, for time will undo you.” she felt the voice retreat, as though it had left her alone in the darkness.

She sat down on the ground. What could she do? She had no great magical power. She was no different then any other unicorn in Equestria, though at this point she supposed that didn't really matter.

All of it? Gone? She couldn't believe it. How? How could Entropy, or whatever it was called, be so powerful? What could she do? Was there nothing she could do? Was it really just a matter of time? She sighed and looked up. There weren’t even stars to comfort her. She had always felt some sense of comfort from those things. Almost like she was looking at a glimpse of home.

Wait, time. Entropy said that it had undone everything. That would mean that it would have undone time was well, yet even it said that it was only a matter of time until she vanished! That must mean that time still exists. That must mean it's not as powerful as it thinks it is! That means that there must be someway to fix everything, but how? Oh, she really wished Time Turner was here, perhaps he could help!

“Well, that was most curious!” a voice near her said. She jumped a little and turned to see what it was. There, half lit by her horn, sat Time Turner with a very confused expression on his face. “Wher-”

“DOC!” she cried and hugged him.

“Ooph!” he said as the air was squeezed from him, before he suddenly shimmered; causing Colgate to fall through him.

“What?!” both cried in alarm. They stared at each other for a moment, unsure of what just happened, or who should speak.

“Are you okay?” Colgate asked.

“I, I think so? I don't really feel … huh! I don't feel! Well, how about that!” he said, looking at his hooves amused. He stomped the ground. “Well, I sort of feel, but its like I only feel it half-way, and it vanishes quite quickly. How strange!”

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“Well, near as I can tell, I was removed from time.” he shrugged.

“Wait, what?!” Colgate nearly shouted.

“It was the strangest thing. So, there I was, having been forced to drink that awful thing, and then suddenly I felt this thing come into my mind. It was looking for something, like a patron walking through a library. Well, I had no idea what it was, but I figured that strange things walking through one's mind is rarely a good thing. Particularly when that thing turns out to be interested in how time works!”

“That must have been Entropy!” Colgate exclaimed.

He shook his head. “I sincerely doubt a scientific theory has a personality, let alone a thirst for knowledge.”

Colgate shook her head. “I'll explain in a minute, what happened next?”

“Well, once I felt it tapping into that bit of my mind, I decided I needed to do something about it. However, since I'm no expert on the mind, I had no idea how to kick it out. However, I did get an idea. You see, I realized something about that drink when I tasted it. It's sentient! And it figures out what you most desire in life, and turns it upside down.” he said, as though he had made a most extraordinary discovery.

“We kinda figured that part out. Though the part where it's alive is new.” she said.

“Oh no, I never said it was alive! Just sentient! Anyway, what I've always wanted was to be able to travel through time. So, naturally, the drink wanted to do the opposite, and remove me from time. However, I think it realized that if it did so, it couldn't get what it wanted from me. So it pulled its punch as it were. Worked too, until I threw my face into its hoof!” he grinned.

“So, you intentionally let it take you out of time?” she said, awestruck.

“Pretty much.” he nodded.

“What was it like?” she asked.

“Have you ever existed, and not existed at the same time?” he asked in all seriousness.

Colgate blinked a couple times. “Can't say I have.”

“Oh. Well, it kinda felt like that. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself here. So, what happened, and where are we?” he asked as he looked around.

Colgate took a deep sigh as she tried to make sense of everything herself. Still, she manged just fine to get out most of what happened after he vanished. Not surprising, Time was somewhat troubled by the news, though he looked more deep in thought then disturbed.

“So, you thought about me, and I popped into being?” he asked. “Well, half into being anyway. Have you tired anypony else?” he asked.

“I...” she was struck dumb for a moment. Then she thought of Berry. Of all the ponies in the world, she was the one that she wanted to see the most. She needed her friend.

But, sadly, nothing happened.

Colgate opened her eyes hopefully, but was crestfallen when all she saw was Turner. “Well, I don't think I look THAT bad!” he objected.

“No! It's not that, I ju-” she stopped when she saw a small smirk on his face. She then shook her head. “Anyway, I just tried to think of Berry, and it didn't work.”

“Curious. Why did it work for me, but not her?” he wondered.

“Perhaps its because you were removed from time?” she ventured.

“That does seem possible. You know what. You said that Entropy undid everything, yes? But yet time still exists? Perhaps it only undid what existed at that moment.” Doc tapped his chin in thought.

“So, you're saying that the past still exists?” she asked. “Wait!” she said, her eyes getting large, “Is it possible to go back before this happened?” she asked.

“Possible. Though if he completely changed reality like you said, then the connection to the past might be severed.” he looked off into the distance, deep in thought.

“Connection?” Colgate asked.

“Without going into great detail, mostly because to understand it all would require a life-long study of temoralology, time is both incredibly complained and simple. For over simplification’s sake, we'll say that time and reality are more or less connected. One can almost exist without the other, but if either is changed drastically, the other is affected as well. In this case, the past as we knew it doesn't exist, so there's nothing to go back to, but at the same time it hasn't been completely destroyed. It's like pages ripped out of a book, rather then being erased and written over. Does that make sense?” he asked, looking at her.

“Kinda.” she said. “So, where are those pages, and can we put them back?”

He shrugged. “I have no idea. If I had magic, I'd try try out a theory or two, but-” he then paused and looked at Colgate. “You, however, do!”

Colgate looked up at her horn. “But I don't know anything about time! And I'm not powerful enough to mess with that stuff! I'm just a dentist!”

Time Turner cracked a huge simile. “But you see, that's just the thing! Time magic isn't as hard as ponies believe it to be! It's an assumption that one needs to know complicated or powerful magics to use time magic, and, to be fair, for those who know little about it, that's true. But I know more about time then nearly any other pony alive!"

“Really? But I was always told-”

“That is was impossible and that one should never try it? Correct. I helped to write that warning. You see, time magic is not something one can simply fool with. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm an Earth Pony, or was...” he looked himself up and down, “Am I still technically a pony? Anyway, it was because of the fact that I can't use magic that the Princesses allowed me to study it to the degree that I have. That, and a certain natural talent for it. I don't know why, but ever since I was little, I've always kinda known about it. In fact, I never felt like learned anything new, just that I was relearning things I'd heard before. Then again, I've always been a curious case. After all, I'm the only pony I know who was born with a cutie mark!” he said with a huge grin.

“Wait, you were born with your cutie mark?” Colgate said, astonished. “Let me see it!”

Doc looked at her strangely but presented it all the same. Colgate gasped, and turned to show him hers. “We have the same cutie mark!” they both cried.

“Tell me, were you born with your mark as well?” Time asked. Colgate nodded. “By Jove! What does it all mean?!” he looked at her mark with wide eyes. “Tell me, do you feel like you're half there?”

“No,” Colgate shook her head. “I don't think so anyway. I'm not sure what that feels like.”

“Let me see something...” He reached out a hoof and pressed it onto Colgate. She felt his hoof press on her, but after a moment, it shimmered and his hoof passed into her. “Ah!” she cried in surprised as he quickly pulled his hoof away.

“Fascinating!” he said.

“Personal space?” she asked, looking at him a little alarmed.

“So you're all there, and I'm only half there. We have the same cutie mark, and we were both born with it..." He tapped his chin.

“You don't think...” Colgate began.

“That we're actually two parts of a whole?” Time raised an eyebrow.

“No, that's not possible, is it?” She asked.

He shrugged. “I have no idea. I don't use magic, so I fear much of it is a mystery to me.”

“But you know a ton about time magic.” Colgate pointed out.

“I know THEORIES about time magic. I've read, theorized, and even hypothesized many things, but lacking magic, I've never been able to actually apply it. And that's only one very specific field of study. Magic, if I understand correctly, is a very broad field.” He explained.

“That makes sense.” Colgate said more to herself then to him.

“Anyway, if we were, I suspect that I am actually apart of you, rather then us being equal parts.”

“What? No way! I'm sure that's not the case!” Colgate objected.

He shook his head. “Let's look at the facts. You exist, I half do. We have the same mark, and we both were born with it." He paused. "Tell me, have you ever had knowledge that you couldn't explain?”

Colgate thought for a moment. “Yeah. When I was really young, I was really good at Astronomy. Like, everypony was sure I was gonna be an Astronomer, but I ended being a dentist anyway.”

“Really? Why's that?” he asked, rather curious.

Colgate shrugged. “I like helping ponies. Plus it pays better.” Time rolled his eyes. “What? It was the smart choice!”

“Nothing. I've just heard one too many ponies say that. But that's not the point right now.” he waved a hoof.

She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, why do you ask?"

"Well, I have a sneaking suspicion that there's a reason both of us have knowledge that we can't account for knowing." he said eyeing her with eyes deep in thought. Colgate was beginning to suspect what he was thinking, and she wasn't sure she was comfortable with where he was going.

"So, are you thinking that perhaps we're supposed to be the same pony? Like, we're supposed to combine or something like that?" she asked, worry rising in her heart.

He nodded, causing her heart to sink. "I do. I think that we're supposed to be one. But how?” Doc asked.

Colgate sat and thought for a moment. “What...” she paused, “What if you try walking into me, and just stay there for a moment? That might work.”

Time shrugged. “Seems as good an idea as any.”

Colgate stood up and let out a sigh. “Okay, let's do this.” Time nodded as he walked right into her, accidentally headbutting her. “Ow!” she said rubbing her forehead. Yep. If they get out of this, she's putting a helmet on, and never taking it off, ever.

“Sorry!” he said. “Let's try again.” This time he walked slowly, and they pressed their foreheads together. He gently pushed, and she gently pushed back. The soft deadlock lasted a moment, until he shimmered as before, and then he walked into her. He stopped as his front hooves matched her rear ones, making it look as though Colgate had a brown tail popping out of her chest.

“Uh, could you turn around? This is kinda weird.” Colgate asked.

“Think so? I think this is simply fantastic! This has to be one of the strangest things I've ev-” he was cut off as Colgate suddenly pivoted 180 degrees, matching their bodies. "This is so strange!” he proclaimed.

He wasn't kidding. There were moments when she could see inside his head, literally. Well, at least she now knew all of those anatomy classes she had to take were telling the truth about what's inside a pony's head. This only made her wonder if he could see the same.

“Now what?” they both asked. They paused.

“You first.” Time said.

“Okay. Now what?” she asked.

“I have no idea. Try using a spell.” he offered.

“Okay.” she focused for a moment, and a small bit of dirt levitated from the ground into the air. “Feel any different?” she asked.

“Can't say I do. Do you?” he shook his head, which played all kinds of weird havoc with her vision.

“Not really, and could you please stop that? It's really weird.” she asked. Then she got an idea. “You said you knew time spells, right? What if I try and cast one of those?”

“How could that possibly help?” he said, rather confused.

“I don't know, I just got the idea. Worth trying, right?” she said, and if she could have, she would have looked at him with hopeful eyes.

“Fair point. Very well, this spell is very simple. It's for stopping time on an object for 2 seconds.” he explained.

“Stopping time is SIMPLE?!” she said in surprise.

“I said this spell is simple. Now, pick an object. That clump of dirt you grabbed might work.” he pointed a hoof at it. “But you must first set it down. Good. Now, think about how it looks right now, and try and think about it looking that way 2 seconds from now. Now think about the temporal diff-er-never mind. Just think about what I told you, and, uh, do magic!” he said.

“What?” she asked.

“I don't know how that part works! Just, I don't know, smash the two things together!” he fumed.

“Okay, okay! Sheese!” She turned and looked at the small lump, that, at this point, was nearly gone; for the wind still blew, making their world all the smaller for it. She focused her magic, and focused her mind on the mental image of what it looked like, and in her mind's eye, she imagined it looking exactly that way 2 seconds into the future. Then, she reached out, and grabbed it.

Several interesting things happened at that point. The first was that she saw the space around the lump of dirt distort and warp in ways that were a bit nerve-wracking to witness. Second, she felt a surge of magic that she had never felt before, but yet, she knew better then any other kind. Finally, she heard a yelp of surprise from Doctor Time Turner, and saw him whip out of her and get sucked into her horn.

“DOCTOR!” she cried.

Then her mind exploded. Almost like a burst of light, her mind suddenly flooded with knowledge. Temporal Anomalies, Time Resistance, Warp-Bending Differentials; it all filled her mind.

And none of it was new to her.

Her mind filled with secrets that she had never known she knew. Things and theories that she would have never been able to grasp suddenly became simple and almost foal's play. And all of it she knew was hers to begin with. It was as though she had opened a door, and walked into a home that had been long forgotten.

She was no Dentist; she was a Time Mage. Well, technically she was still a Dentist as well, but that was taking a back seat for the moment. Finally, she had regained that which she had never known she had lost. But…

“Doc?” she asked, looking around. “Doctor Time Turner? Are you there?! Answer me!” she cried as she looked frantically about. But still, there was nothing.

She sat down, washed over with sudden grief. 'No Colgate', she thought to herself, 'I have to focus. I'm sure once everything is fixed, he'll be just fine. I just have to stay focused.' She stood up once more and looked around. He was right. Now that she knew what he knew, she saw that the option of traveling back into time to undo this was not there. But what else could she do? She didn't have the power to make things!

“I see. So that's how you persevered yourself. You removed part of yourself so that it was impossible for me to unmake you.” the voice came again.

“Can't kill a dandelion unless you get all the roots?” she smirked. “Besides, I know your power isn't as great as you say it is! You don't know the secrets of time magic! So that means, time still exists! Which means: YOU CAN'T DESTROY TIME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T UNMAKE CONCEPTS!”

“And what good will knowing that do you? Yes, my annihilation is not as complete as I would wish, but you will still perish in time, and that which I have undone will be forgotten. Nothing has changed. You have lost.” the voice said coldly, though Colgate knew that it was irritated. She could feel it.

“No, you're wrong, and you know it!” she defiantly said. She wasn't sure how he was wrong, but somehow she knew he was.

“What can you do? You have not the power of creation. You never have. In our many battles, I am always more powerful. It is only by trickery that you had delayed me thus far. But your tricks are at an end. And even if you could make, I could simply unmake.” it said.

“Not if it's a part of me!” she cried.

“What other parts could there possibly be?”

“My memories!” she cried.

It was then that Bon-Bon appeared, though not as the doctor had. Her form was constantly shifting, changing, but it was still Bon-Bon.

“How!? How can that be part of you as well!?” it cried.

“I remembered something!” Colgate said. “Back in the canyon, I remembered when all of those little wisps flew out of that cutie mark eating fabric. The fabric that not only took away the special talent of the poor pony, but, THEIR MEMORY!” she cried as the gears began clicking. “And I saw dozens, no, hundreds of them fly into Bon-Bon. Which means that she's not just a pony, but she must somehow be a repository of memories! Not only the memories of hundreds, if not thousands of ponies, but my memories!”

“How could you have possibly thought of that?!” it shouted.

“Because Time Turner knew too much for one pony to learn in a single life-time. It would have had to taken several life-times to learn all of that. And when we joined, I had no memories of learning any of that, which means, my memories must be inside of Bon-Bon!”

“I-I'm a repository of memories?” Bon-Bon said distantly.

“And if she's apart of me, that means her memories are a part of me as well!” she cried. “Which means that I can undo what you've done through her! I can bring everypony back!”

“Impossible logic.” it declared. “How can that make any difference? You tried to bring another, but you failed. How is your mind different then hers?”

“Just watch!” she shouted triumphantly.

“What are you going to do?” Bon-Bon asked.

“I-I don't know yet, but I have a good feeling! Bon-Bon, stand still!” she said as she walked over to her. Partly to her surprise, and partly not, she walked right through her, and aligned her body with Bon-Bon's. “Okay, let's see if this works!” Colgate closed her eyes, and cast a spell. Though, she wasn't sure which one, but she guessed that perhaps one that related to the soil might work (what with Bon-Bon being an Earth Pony). A little to her surprise, nothing happened.

“What are you doing?” Bon-Bon asked.

“I'm...” she paused as she thought of what happened to Time Turner. "I absorbed Time Turner's knowledge when I casted a time spell. So, I was hoping that if I casted a spell related to the ground or something that might work."

“What if you try remembering something? Like, something we have in common?” Bon-Bon suggested.

“Yeah,” Colgate nodded, “That might work.” She closed her eyes, and thought about Berry once more. She thought about her house, and the terrible smell. She thought about her at the castle, how worried she had been when she had seen her changed into a stallion. She thought of her lying there, on the floor of the Griffin's room, under his control. She thought of her, crashing through the swamp to warn them of Lyra's condition. Finally, she thought of her warm, happy smile.

Nothing.

“Well, I guess that didn't work.” Colgate sighed sadly.

“What did you think of?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Berry.” she said heavily.

“To be honest, when I think of Berry, I think of her breath.” Bon-Bon said casually.

“Bon-Bon!” Colgate chided her.

“What? It's her most distinguishing feature.” Bon-Bon said.

Colgate grumbled a little. Well, might as well as try it-

As she filled her mind with the memory of Berry's infamous breath, her horn suddenly glowed, and Bon-Bon splintered into hundreds of little shards that began to swirl around her horn. She watched in awe as they flew faster, and closer to her. Like a great disk, they surrounded and began to converge on her horn, yet they never touched. Colgate wanted to pull away; she didn't want another friend to vanish for her sake. The shards spun faster and faster, and she began to feel pain in her horn. She … didn't know what to do. She didn't want to lose anypony else, but yet she knew she must let it happen. What was she to d-

“Colgate, it's okay. I remember now, I agreed to this. Besides, I won't be gone forever. Go ahead, I'll be okay.” Bon-Bon said gently to her.

Colgate swallowed hard. Then nodded, and let down her guard. All at once the shards flew into her horn, and her mind to exploded once more as memories flooded her mind. She could see it all. She remembered when she began to discover time magic as a young foal. She remembered when she had gotten old enough, she would leap back to teach herself over and over again. She remembered when she had finally slowed time on her body, allowing her to live longer then many ponies combined. She remembered endless years dedicated to learning her craft, to study, and to experimentation. She remembered venturing out into the stars. Long had she dwelt there, in the far dark, learning all there was to know of time; until Entropy came. She had battled it many times, each time narrowly escaping, slowing its terrible advance. Then finally, she remembered their last great battle.

It had finally come to Equestria. With the princesses too weak from their battle with Discord, and Luna falling from grace, she had drawn it away from them, knowing that they would only be in danger. She faced it alone, far away, and there she had finally figured out to defeat it once and for all. To do so, she split it into three parts. One part she had planted into the soil of what was to become the Everfree. Another she had cast far into a far land, the land that would become home to the Zebras. The final piece she had sealed into herself. Then, upon her death, she had split herself into three. If she was incomplete when it had finally come together once more, then it could not unmake her. Yes, she remembered now that Bon-Bon's ancestors were the ones that had agreed to carry not only her memories, but the memories of nearly every pony that ever lived. She remembered that it was to Time Turner's ancestors that she had given her knowledge. And she remembered that it her own decedents that carried her mind until the day when she would be reborn.

But now she was whole. Now she knew what she had planned, and how to finally end this horrible battle once and for all. “Entropy!” she shouted, standing on her rear legs. “I remember now why I was never able to stop you! It was because you had too much power to draw from! So long as there was something to turn into nothing, you had power! But now that there is nothing that you can undo, you are powerless! And now that I have my memories, and my magic back, I, no, WE will put you down once and for all!” she shouted.

“We? You are alone.” it said.

“Not anymore!” her mind filled with memories, and faces that she knew. The good Doctor's face came into view, and she froze it with the very spell that he taught her. With a practiced motion, she yanked it from her mind, and Time landed on the ground next to her.

“HOW? IT IS NOT POSS-”

“Shut it! You can't destroy me, my memories, or time! And he is made of all three!” Memories flew through her mind until another face came. This time Photo popped into being. After that came Steve, The Hydra. Then came Twilight. Then came the Griffon, Zecora, Pinkie Pie, Lyra, Bon-Bon, then, finally, Berry. They all stood there, looking into the darkness beyond them.

“Very well. You are no longer alone. But that makes no diff-” it began, then suddenly stopped as a small flower popped up out of the ground. A flower that was very real.

Colgate smiled. “Yes. Yes it does, because now they have their memories. And from their memories will come even more memories.” as she spoke, the ground around her began ti fill with green, the land began to expand. “You see, I was always trying to fight you from the outside. Then, I realized that you consume everything. So, all we had to do, was get inside of you! And because we ponies are all connected, because we care enough to think and remember each other, we can fill your darkness with our light! It's not us that's beaten, it's YOU!”

As if on cue, the world around her exploded in light, color, and form. She heard a terrible cry from the darkness as the world around her filled with ponies, plants, colors, and everything else.

“And now, you are FINISHED!” she cried, as thousands and thousands of voices rose up in unison with her, filling everything around her with energy and life. Then, all at once, everything exploded.

Author's Note

I call this the end, but as you can see, the words themselves are not to be found. That bit, the end of ends, is next.

Chapter Five: The Conclusion

This time, Colgate did not wake up, for there was no need. She was already awake when the light dissipated, and she found herself standing right where she had always been; in a stinky, festering swamp. She looked around and saw, much to her delight, everypony who had been there. She saw Photo standing there with her glasses skewed and looking a little messy and Steve looking much less fierce and with only four heads (all of whom looked a bit confused). Se saw Insight and the other pony looking about as though they were lost and Lyra looking all too pleased to be back to normal. Then she saw Berry. Good ol' female Berry. Who, much like Lyra, was all too happy to be back to normal.

She smiled.

Wait. Where was Time Turner and Bon-Bon?

“Time Turner?” she asked, panic rising. “Bon-Bon?!” her head whipped back and forth frantically, trying her best to find them.

“Hey, Colgate?” Lyra said, walking up to her. “It … it happened, didn't it?”

Colgate looked at her in shock. “Did what happen?”

Lyra let out a sad sigh. “You … you got your memories back.” she shook her head. Colgate opened her mouth to say something, but her voice caught when she saw tears in Lyra's eyes. “Bon-Bon...”

“Lyra, I...” Colgate reached out a hoof to touch her.

Lyra let out a sigh and shook her head gently. “I … I always knew that Bon-Bon was actually not a real pony. I was there when they made her. It was my job to keep her safe until either you needed your memories back, or until they needed to get passed on. I mean, after I met you, I figured this day would come, but...” she choked as she tried to hold back her tears.

“Lyra, what are you talking about?” Colgate asked softly.

“It was me. I'm the commando. I've always worked for the Princesses; ever since I was a little filly. I knew Sweetie Drops when she was young. We were friends, even if I could never tell her why I sometimes vanished. But I knew that one day that she would go away, and that she would have to become somepony new.” Lyra said sadly as she sat on the ground.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Colgate asked, sitting next to her.

“Well, it was her family's burden. When one of their foals came of age, they would have to become the next holder of all those memories. And that pony that they used to be would be gone.” she let out a sigh, her body trembling slightly. “They told me, that if this day came, that you would absorb her forever.” Lyra looked at her, but not with anger, but with a sad smile.

“That's horrible! How could they do that to he-”

Lyra shook her head. “It was voluntary. Sweetie Drops knew what she was getting into. But, now that you've done whatever you needed her for, everything is okay, right?” Lyra looked up at her.

Colgate swallowed. “Yeah.” she said softly. “Yeah, everything is going to be okay. We won.”

Lyra smiled, and her head drooped. Though her hair now covered her face, Colgate saw the tears starting to fall. “Thank you Colgate. Thank you...”

Colgate reached out and hugged her, and not a moment later, she felt another pony join the hug. Then another, and another, and another. It was the most bittersweet moment of her life. She had never felt so much love for another like this before; but for it have happened, the cost had been so high. So very high...

*****

“W-What just happened?” Cadence asked the others in the room.

Discord looked up in irritation, and even a bit of anger. “WHAT?!” his gaze shot about the room as though looking for something. “YOU DARE?!”

The other looked at him, mildly confused. “Discord, who are you-”

“PARDON ME SUN PRINCESS, BUT-” he turned and looked at her with eyes of rage (and a throbbing vein in his neck), “Some PUNK thought it could just screw with reality without MY permission!” he snorted. “The NERVE!”

“Pardon?” Luna asked.

“What? Didn't you notice?” he asked, suddenly a but surprised.

“Notice what exactly?” Applejack asked.

Discord looked about the room with a rather stunned expression on his face. “Don't tell you didn't feel that just now!”

“Mind telling us what's going on?” Rainbow asked impatiently.

His eye ticed. “Is your connection to reality so tenuous that you can't even tell when you've been erased?!”

“Not all of us!” Pinkie Pie said, causing her friends' eyes to roll.

“Well, Ms. Pinkie Pie, good for you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm afraid I have some unfinished business to attend to!” he turned to the window and raised his paw to snap his … er … digits. “I've got to check and see if there's anything left of that little freak.” and with that, and a snap, he was gone. “Oh, and by the way, your royal highnesses. You might want to have a little talk with that little blue dentist of yours. I have the feeling she just might have the answers you're looking for.” his voice filled the hall, then went silent.

The ponies in the room exchanged glances one with another. Even the guards by the door looked at each other with uncertainty. “Sister,” Luna began, casting her gaze at Celestia, “Should we listen to him?”

Celestia looked back at her and then at the other ponies in the room. “I think that might be for the best. If Discord was telling the truth, then perhaps Colgate does have the answers we seek.”

“I wouldn't trust that RUFFIAN to hold a pin!” Rarity fumed, her gaze fixed upon Celestia.

“Oh, I don't know. He's not that bad...” Fluttershy said softly.

“Not that bad?! This is DISCORD we're talking about here!” Rainbow objected.

“Indeed it is Rainbow Dash.” Celestia nodded. “But something happened, and I think it would be best if Luna and I investigated. Cadence, would you mind staying here and watching after Twilight's friends for us? We will return as soon as we know what occurred.”

“Are you sure the two of you are going to be okay going alone? He seemed pretty upset...” Cadence cast a glance at the window Discord had disappeared in front off.

“Yeah! Take us with you!” Rainbow shouted.

Celestia shook her head. “I wish we could, but to do so would tax you beyond what you can handle. We don't know for sure where she is, and the five of you can barely stand as you are. So please, rest. My sister and I will return as soon as we are able, and we will tell you all we know.” she turned to look at Luna. “Are you ready?”

“We are as ready when you are.” Luna said calmly.

Celestia looked over at the five friends once more (flinching a little when she made eye-contact with Rarity [she had no idea what happened to the poor mare, but she was deeply sorry for whatever it was]), and then smiled. “We will be back shortly.”

“Or so we hope.” Luna said as both of their horns glowed and they vanished.

Cadence looked over at the five friends who now looked at her. “I'm really sorry you guys went through all of that. I really am. Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?”

“Twilight!” came the collective response. Well, to be more accurate, each pony said something slightly different, but all five of them more or less wanted the same thing.

“Of course. I'll order her release right away.” Cadence said, then look over at the door. “Lieutenant? Could you send a message to Vanhoover for me?”

“Of course!” the unicorn saluted.

She sat up straight, her poise and voice suddenly filling the room, and filling each ear with regal majesty, “Effective immediately, and by order of Princesses Celestia and Luna of Equestria, and Princess Cadence of The Crystal Empire: Princess Twilight Sparkle is to be released and escorted, if desired, to The Palace of Canterlot to meet with her friends. Also, All three of us want to offer our deepest apologies to her and her friends for all of the trouble our lack of foresight caused, and wish for their forgiveness.” She then let out a sigh, and relaxed. “Did you get all of that?”

“Yes, your Highness!” the guard responded. “I sent it to communications. Vanhoover should be getting it with the hour!”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” She then looked over at the five ponies gathered at the end of the long table. “And please, bring some food. We have five very hungry mouths to feed.” she then paused, and smiled. “Scratch that, make that 6.”

*****

Steve was the only one who noticed the arrival of the Princesses. All of the other ponies in the clearing were too busy hugging to notice their arrival. They came into the clearing with a soft and silent glide, as they had appeared in the air above it. When they landed, both cast glances around the clearing, and paused when they saw him.

“Princess Celestia!” he said with surprise, and a little bit of joy.

“Hello Sir Steve.” Celestia said in a friendly tone. He had never been knighted, but she had grown fond of calling him that all the same. Then the two of them walked over to the six ponies that were huddled together. “Luna, could you console the others? I'd like to talk to Colgate for a moment.”

Luna looked at her as though she was mad for a moment, then calmed. “Are you sure? You'd be much better at then I.”

Celestia nodded. “At least, for a few moments. Please?”

Luna regarded her sister for a moment, then nodded. “We shall do Our best.”

“Thank you.” Celestia said with a sad smile.

Luna walked up to the six of them huddled together, then gently touched Colgate on the shoulder. “Huh? Wha-” Colgate's head turned to see who it was, and her eyes shot open in surprise, “Princess Luna!” The other ponies' heads suddenly jerked up, and they all scrambled to bow. “W-What are you doing here?!”

“My sister and I felt as though something terrible had come to pass, so we came to know what it was.” She then paused, and looked at the grieving ponies. “And please, do not bow. This is not the time for such. We see that thou art filled with such sorrow. Why?” she asked as kindly as she could.

“Beca-”

“BON-BON'S DEAD!” Lyra wailed as she collapsed into a heap upon the floor.

“And Doctor Time Turner is...” Colgate tried to say, but was unable to do so.

Luna was struck. Her eyes shot open and she took a half-step back.”W-We...” she struggled to find the words to say. But finding none, she reached out, and laid a hoof on Lyra's sobbing form. “She was the bravest of all our subjects.” she said meekly. She struggled to remain in control, but she too began to weep. It was not long after that the others began holding each other, and her as well.

Celestia let out a bittersweet sigh. It was always hard when a pony passed on. Even harder when it was two of them. Even knowing that one day this would happen made it no easier to bear. She took a deep breath and steeled herself as she gently made her way to Colgate and tapped her and leaned in to whisper into her ear. “Colgate, may I speak with you for a moment?” she asked.

Colgate paused for a moment, then nodded. She gently pulled away and walked a short distance to talk with the princess in private. “Y-yes, your highness?” she said softly.

“Are you alright?” Celestia asked.

Colgate shook her head. “No. I just lost two friends...”

“I understand. It is never easy to lose a friend, let alone two. I remember when I lost my sister.” She paused a moment as she looked over a Luna. “It never really goes away. But in time, we learn to accept what has happened. Colgate...” she asked gently.

“Yes?” she said softly.

“What happened?” Celestia asked.

“I … we saved Equestria.” she said softly.

“What do you mean?” she asked, sitting on the ground.

Colgate took a deep breath as she began to describe what had unfolded. It was strange to her. It felt far away. Almost like it was in another life. It was, in a way, detached and strange. Yet, she knew it was real; that it had truly happened.

“Are you saying that this, Entropy, devoured all of reality?” Celestia asked once Colgate had finished. “And that you, remade it?” She was stunned, and was clearly disturbed.

Colgate shook her head. “I doubt it had that much power. What I think actually happened was that it devoured the entire planet. Then all I-we did was put it all back together again. And since we did it from the inside, it tore Entropy to pieces because we tore everything it devoured out of it.”

“You say 'we', but I have no memory of this.” Celestia said somewhat distantly.

“Well. I think that's because nopony really existed just yet. I'm gonna guess that once Entropy was destroyed, everypony finally went back to normal.” Colgate sagged her head. “Well, almost everypony...”

“Colgate.” Celestia put a hoof under Colgate's chin. “It is never easy to lose loved ones. But if not for them, we would not be sitting here. They, and you, are all heroes.”

“It doesn't change the fact that they're gone...” Colgate said sadly, shifting her eyes to the side.

“No. No it does not.” Celestia said sadly. Then, there was a glint in her eye. “Although...”

“Although what?” Colgate asked as a sudden, yet small hope appeared in her heart.

“I think I might know of a way to change that.” Celestia said, her face lowered in thought.

“What do you mean?” Colgate asked, her hope growing.

“Well, they were made from your memories, and knowledge right? I'd bet that there's still some part of them left in you.” she smiled.

“So, if we could somehow pull those parts out...” Colgate's eyes widened.

Celestia nodded, though hesitantly. “We might be able to get them back. I don't know for sure if it's possible, but it might be worth a try.”

“But how could we do that? The only way I know of dong something like that is leaving a part of me inside of another pony.” Colgate shook her head.

Celestia smiled. “I think I know somepony, or should I say, somegriffion, who might be able to help.”

*****

Five days later, Colgate still hadn't come back to town. Berry paced the room of Lyra's house again. Ever since Colgate and the Princesses left (with toothbrush in tow), the two of them had decided to move in. At least until Colgate showed up. All Berry had to do was take a bath, and talk downwind. Outside of that, they got along wonderfully. Berry found herself wishing that they had known about each other sooner. That way she wouldn't have been so lonely. But thankfully, that was in the past.

Still, it's been a long five days. Lyra was pretty depressed. Berry did what she could to help, but she was no Bon-Bon. At least Lyra was leaving her room now. That took nearly four days to happen. But at least she was coming out. Though Berry wished they could open the curtains. But Berry wasn't going to push too hard, since, near as she could tell, Lyra had just lost her life-long friend.

“Hey, Lyra,” she said into an open window, “I'm heading out to get some more food. You want anything?”

Lyra, who was on the other side of the room, sitting as she does in a chair, shook her head. “No, I'm good. You gonna be long?” she asked.

Berry shook her head. “No, just there and back.”

“Alright. See you in a bit I guess.” Lyra sighed.

“Alright, later.” Berry opened the door and walked out.

“Hey Bon-Bon … Berry, could you pick up a hayburger for me?” she asked.

“Sure.” Berry closed the door and headed over to the Hay Burger first. Sure it would have made more sense to grab Lyra's burger last, but whatever. As she walked in, she walked past somepony she recognized. “Hey Colgate.” she said cheerfully as she walked past and up to the count-

“COLGATE!” she screamed and ran to her friend, who nearly choked on the bite she had just taken as Berry hugged the life out of her.

“Be careful, you don't want to squeeze her too hard.” Came a playful, yet regal voice.

“Huh?” Berry looked to the side, and her jaw dropped to see Princess Celestia sitting there, eating a simple burger. “Y-Your highness?! What are you doing here?”

“I am eating a burger.” she said with a simple smile.

“I-” she should have expected that response. She really should have, but she did not.

Princess Celestia chuckled. “I'm here because I came back with Colgate, who I believe is currently choking to death in your arms.”

“SORRY!” Berry said and promptly let her go. She fell to the ground, and her head nearly smacked into the floor. Berry watched, to her astonishment, a shimmer field of magic surround Colgate's head and protect her from the moment of impact.

“Also, you spoiled our surprise. We stopped in to grab a quick bite just before heading over to Lyra's home.” The Princess said playfully as she took another bite.

“Wait, what surprise?” Berry asked.

Colgate coughed as she finally got the food out of her throat, and air in her lungs. “Well, why don't you just look over there?” she pointed.

*****

Lyra leaned back in her chair as another wave of grief washed over her. They came less frequently now. Before it was constant, now she gets brief moments of reprieve from it. She hoped that Berry would come back soon. It was hard enough, but when she was alone like this, it was even worse. She sat there and took a deep breath as the sadness flowed through her. It would pass in a few moments. She needed only to be patient.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Without thinking, she shouted: “Hey Bon-Bon, can ya get that?”

“I'm afraid I can't. I'm on the other side of the door.”

*****

The door quite literally exploded as Lyra came flying through it. Bon-Bon, quick as ever, avoided the shrapnel, but there was no escaping Lyra. The two of them rolled down the street a little ways before coming to a stop.

“BON-BON!” she cried, her joy unmistakable.

“Good to see you too Lyra.” Bon-Bon smiled.

“HOW?” she looked over at Colgate, Berry, and Princess Celestia, all of whom were smiling.

“It was pretty simply actually.” Colgate said. “You remember that griffin that was stealing cutie marks? Well, turns out he finally perfected it, and wiped my old memories from me. Then all we had to do was figure out how to give her a physical form.”

“So, what are you?” Lyra asked Bon-Bon as she turned to her.

“Technically, I'm mud.” she smiled.

“Mud?” Lyra looked at her stunned.

“Correct.” Celestia said. “I sculpted her, and the griffon, who's name is Chuck, placed Colgate's old memories into the sculpture. Then Zecora and I used a potion to turn her into flesh. Normally the other Princesses and I would never allow anypony to do such a thing, but we made an exception in this case. Just don't tell anypony.” she winked.

“My lips are sealed!” Lyra saluted. “So, are you a real pony then?” she asked Bon-Bon.

She nodded. “Yep. I'm true-blue pony. Feels good to be back too. Though I kinda miss all those extra memories.”

“Huh?” Lyra cocked her head.

“Well, I didn't want to have those memories completely vanish.” she said sheepishly, as she scuffed the dirt. “So I kinda kept the ones that wern't hers...”

“We simply extracted the part that was Bon-Bon, as well as Sweetie Drops, and left the rest of it behind.” Celestia smiled.

“Wait, SWEETIE DROPS?!” Lyra cried as she looked at Bon-Bon, who smiled and nodded.

“Good to see you again, harp-butt.” she laughed

Lyra let out a squeal of such joy, that even Berry wondered if her own shout from nearly a week and a half ago would have been drowned out.

“Oh, and Berry?” Colgate said, poking her ribs.

“Huh? Oh, what's up?” Berry asked, looking at her.

“Here, it's finally yours. We just had to make sure it was safe first.” She smiled as she held up a small present.

Berry grabbed it, and stared at it for a moment. She looked up at Colgate who gave her a kind of 'Go on' look. She slowly opened the box, and pulled out a small, golden toothbrush. Tears began running down as a smile filled her face. “And here, you'll need this. Zecora made it. Brush with this until it's gone, then we can move you to normal toothpaste.” Colgate help up a small bottle, and hoofed it to Berry.

“Do you have wat-”

“Already ahead of you.” Celestia smiled as she she produced a cup of water. “Go ahead Berry. The brush is yours. Think of it as a gift.”

Berry held up the brush, and looked at the bottle, then at Colgate helplessly. “I, uh, don't know how...” she shamefully admitted.

Colgate smiled warmly. “It's okay, just hold still. I'll help.”

Having never brushed before, the experience was a strange one for Berry. But, as the bristles worked their magic, she had to admit, it felt pretty good. Her mouth was filled with a pleasant taste as the paste that Zecora made began to foam and fill it. Finally, after several moments of brushing, spiting, and rinsing, Colgate smiled. “Alright Berry, breathe into your hoof, and smell it. I'd bet your bad breath is finally gone.” Berry did as she was instructed. Colgate was right; she had never smelled anything so wonderful in her whole life.

The End

Author's Note

That's it. That's the end. It took two years of slow, yet more or less steady work to get this done.

There is one pony whom I have to give my deepest gratitude to, and that would be Clacksphob. You see, it was for this pony here that I wrote this whole story. Like many things, it started off small and simple enough. Then, it became the thing it is now. You see, said pony read with me every single chapter as I wrote it. I had the support I needed, and the love that is required to finish this sort of thing. So, yes, without this pony, this story would have never been written, much less finished.

And, of course, I want to thank you for reaching the end. Thank you for taking this journey with me, for goodness knows it wasn't a short one (though not at long as some, but that's beside the point :derpytongue2:). So yes, thank you for your unspoken support (and double thanks if you spoke :raritywink:).

And if you want to know what happened to everypony else, here's a nice list-

Cherry: She continues to run her spy network, now with the blessing with the sisters.

Zecora: She took on Chuck (the griffin) as something akin to an apprentice, until the day when he was ready to leave.

The Nurse: she went on to defend the entirety of Equestria with her army of pillow-golems. Though, her story was forever lost to the pages of history.

Train conductor: He went on to create a new line of fortified train cars. Complete with oversized cow-catchers and unnecessarily large spikes. Though, they saw little use as they were rather garish and expensive.

Discord: Well, I mean, it's Discord. He does more or less what tickles his fantasy. Though it is worth nothing that he found nothing left of Entropy.

The Mane 6: See episodes 92 through 117.

Spike: he got better. Though, he carried a deep emotional scar from the whole experience that he never spoke of again. Poor guy.

The Princesses: Though they now had a new way of looking at Colgate, nothing drastic changed. In fact, life simply continued on much as normal.

The Hydra (A.K.A. Sir Steve): he ended up moving back to Froggy Bottom swamp so as to put himself closer to Canterlot. Photo rather appreciated this, and the two ended up getting married not long after he moved there (though they never moved in together as Photo's profession kept her away).

Photo Finish: Despite her best attempts to make Colgate famous for her deeds (after all, taking fashion photos of a hero is always good for business), Colgate was having none of it. Thus, she went back to her life of high fashion and society.

Bonnie Bonnet: While she may have never amounted to any importance in this story, her and her brother did end up making amends with one another. They now live happily near Vanhoover, where they often visit their mother in her retirement home.

Soarin': He eventually got better. But his heart was never whole ever again (as he never built up the courage to ask Rainbow out)...

The Griffin (Chuck): he stayed with Zecora for a few years, but eventually left to see the world, and to spread good will as far as he could. Sadly, the world quickly lost trace of him.

Insight: He went back to his desk job in Vanhoover. Though, for fun, he and Colgate went on a couple more dates, though it never went beyond that.

Litterbug: she never did end up joining the Vanhoover guard. You see, she was pulled out of the program by Princess Twilight herself. She now serves her as Twilight's own personal spy.

Doctor Time Turner: He finally received the recognition, and funding, he had been looking for. He now spends his days in patella-deep research and experimentation.

Lyra: She was released from her duties (honorably), and now lives a more or less normal and quiet life with Bon-Bon. Though, occasionally, 'old friends' come by to ask her for help.

Bon-Bon: Having regained her old memories, and having fulfilled her family line's duty, she was finally free to do the one thing she had always hoped to do. She opened up a sweets shop.

Berry Punch: Finally free from the one thing that had kept the entire town away from her, she cleaned up her home, and now hosts regular parties at her home. Suffice to say, she now has many friends, and lives a happy life.

Colgate: Though she remembered everything in her past lives, she desired a humble life. So she had them removed, and stored elsewhere. She returned to her former life of being a local dentist, but with a new addition: She picked up her old passion for the stars. Thus, she became a dentist by day, and a astronomy teacher by night.

And that's all she wrote :pinkiehappy:

Chapter One, Parts One & Two: Into The Woods

The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

Chapter One

Part One

Her breath. It was horrid. It wilted flowers and boiled water. Rather convent actually, at least when it came to cooking dinner, or so Colgate assumed. Granted, she only ever saw Berry during her visits. And the girl had clearly never heard of a toothbrush. That, or they would always melt when she tried to use them. Still, despite being able to smell her chompers through her front door, Colgate still knocked.

She always kinda liked Berry's little cottage. It was a delightful little place. Granted, the place usually smelled little better than the teeth of its owner. Despite this however, Berry always managed to keep the place looking nice. Fresh flowers sat on the windows, and birds struggled to breath in the foul air. Ok, so perhaps her place wasn't the best. At least the flowers were nice. Colgate turned to take a look at them while she waited for Berry to answer her door.

They had wilted. HOW?! She had looked away for 3 seconds! How could they have wilted away in 3 seconds? She thought she was exaggerating about Berry's breath! She groaned. Why did she have to be right?

The door opened. “Oh … (hic) … heya Colley … ,” Berry slurred, “What brings ya 'round--I really like you mane …” She trailed off and began just staring at Colgate's blue and white mane. It was clear she was enjoying her 'hard' orange juice that she usually had with her breakfast, at 2:35 in the afternoon.

Oh no. She ate that 3-week-old-Cabbage-Surprise that she got from that fast food joint in Canterlot a month ago (that is, it was already 3 weeks old when she bought the blasted thing). Not only did it somehow make the pungent aroma all the more foul, she could see it plastered all over Berry's teeth. Taking as deep a breath as she dared, she spoke: “Hey Berry. So, I wanted to swing by and see if you had any fresh grape juice.” If there's one thing that could be said of Berry Punch, she had the best grapes in all of Ponyville. Well, she had the ONLY grapes in Ponyville, but they were still pretty good.

“Wha … but it an't ferm-fer-um...” she seemed lost.

“Fermented?” Colgate asked.

“I didn't know you drank Colty...” Berry seemed suddenly surprised.

Colgate's hoof met with her face with lighting speed. This was a common thing for her to do around Berry. “No, Berry, I don't.” she shook her head, “I just wanted to know if you had some fresh grape juice.”

Berry's eyes glazed over for a moment. It was clear she was trying to think, a hard thing to do so soon after waking up. “Yeah, made some like, right before breakfast.”

Colgate hesitated. Last time she said that, it wasn't grape juice she had made … “Are you sure it's juice this time?”

Berry blinked a few times, the sunlight burning her hung-over eyes. “Yeah, this time I'm sure. Crushed 'em myself. Wanna–have I ever told you that I love you? Like, you're my best friend ever …” she trailed off, slumping in the doorway.

Colgate smiled and shook her head. Berry may be the town drunk, but at least she was a sweet one. As she made her way in, she paused a moment to think about the unintentional play on words she had made. She chuckled a little then headed in.

Berry's place was completely trashed. Well, ok, that wasn't true at all. In fact, for some reason that nopony could ever really figure out, despite being usually drunk on some level, Berry kept an amazing house. Granted, it smelt of horrible death, but at least it looked nice. Fortunately, this was a fact that Colgate never forgot, and pulled out her scarf she always wore when she visited Berry. It was scented like peppermint and was enchanted to block out offensive odors when wrapped around the snout. This time however, she doubted if even her scarf would be enough. That Cabbage Surprise was nothing short of nasty when Berry bought it, to say nothing of when she finally ate it almost 2 months later.

“You know … that thing's really pretty … where'd you get it again?” Berry asked, staring drunkenly at her scarf. She asked this every time Colgate came to visit. And every time Colgate gave the same answer. As she opened her mouth to give the answer again, something suddenly dawned on her. The real reason she came to visit! She snapped her jaw shut and looked Berry hard in the eyes.

“Berry, I need to talk to you. This is important.” Colgate suddenly said in very serious tones. Given how adorable her voice is, she found it hard to make it sound as serious as she would like. A problem that has hounded her since birth, though her parents never complained. They just spent most of her childhood saying 'awww' and having constant heart attacks.

Berry, with a swaying head and unfocused eyes, looked at her. “Wha (hic) is it...?”

“They found it.” She said simply.

Berry almost sobered up instantly. “They found (hic, [ok, not quite sober, but closer than she was when she opened the door]) it?”

“Yes. They found it. The one thing that can finally put and end to the great evil in your mouth. The one thing that I have spent my whole life looking for. The one thing that almost means more to me then everypony in this town! Almost more than friendship itself! They finally found...

The lost toothbrush of the Royal Sisters!”

(With included toothpaste for only 3 easy payments of 3.99!)

Part Two

“Bon-Bon!” came the high pitched whine from above, “Why won't you go drag racing with me?” Bon-Bon's face scrunched in irritation.

“Because!” She said, “Drag racing hot air balloons in the weather factory at night with no lights is a stupid idea! I mean, what if you hit the other racers, or the machines, or fall out? And how do you drag race big balloons full of hot air anyway!?” She threw her hooves up in frustration. Lyra was always one for crazy ideas. “I thought the idea behind drag racing was to go fast. And last I checked, hot air balloons are anything but fast.”

“Well duh, that's what the pegasai pulling them are for!” Lyra rolled her eyes. It was hard to hear Bon-Bon over the sound of the flame filling her balloon with hot air, but she could still make do.

“That's stupid! They're not pack animals you know! And besides, why do you need both a unicorn and an earth pony in the basket? That just seems like so much work for the poor pegasus pony!” Bon-Bon protested again.

“The unicorn's there to make the balloon easier to pull with magic by redirecting the wind or reducing drag, and the earth pony is there to steer the thing!” she shouted back. These things were surprisingly nosy.

“So, let me get this straight, the unicorn's job is to make it like the balloon isn't there, and the earth pony is there to make sure the pegasus and balloon don't hit something?” Bon-Bon had to bellow.

“Pretty much.” Lyra answered, finally letting off on the gas. It was much easier to hear Bon-Bon now.

“Then why not just have the pegasai race each other then?” Bon-Bon said with a raised eyebrow. “You know, without all of the dumb balloon stuff.”

Lyra paused for a moment. She hadn’t actually considered that … , but that was not the point! The point was that it was clear that Bon-Bon just didn't get it. So she just shook her head as the basket landed softly on the ground.

“Come on, please?” Lyra begged, opening the door to the basket and stepping out.

“Absolutely not. This is a dumb idea, and I'll have no part in it.” She said stubbornly. She stomped one hoof on the ground and turned her back to Lyra.

“Oh come on Bon-Bon, please, please?” Bon-Bon didn't have to look to know the face Lyra was making. It was that face that Bon-Bon could almost never say no to. Her eyes would get huge, her ears would hang, her hair would sag slightly, and it would almost seem as if she was on the verge of tears. Those eyes said that one of two things would happen. If you made Lyra happy, then they would be filled with joy and happiness. That's what the hope in that look was for. If you didn’t however, you would crush her hopes and she would sink into sadness. Not to mention the lone tear that would roll down her cheek. Bon Bon hated when she would make that face. How could she say no to it? Worse part was, Lyra knew it!

Swallowing hard, and refusing to let herself turn around, she said, “No. I have other things to do tonight.”

“You mean you'd rather dress up like a bear and ransack bee hives then spend time with me?” Lyra's voice was crushing. Bon-Bon's heart sank.

“We're not dressing up like bears! We're wearing fake bear fur for decoration and using old bear claws to carve open the hives! The stinging builds character!” Bon-Bon tried to answer firmly. But Lyra's look was having its effect on her.

“That's even more stupid than my idea!” Lyra protested, “At least mine's a team effort! We'll be working together!” she pleaded with her best pleading voice.

If Bon-Bon didn't leave right then and there, she was going to cave in. Biting her lip, she replied, “I … I have to go. I need to … uh … clean my fur and make sure I have enough bandages for tonight!” She struggled to say, then turned and started to run for her dear life.

Lyra shouted after her, but her shout was suddenly drowned out by a sound that filled the whole town. Louder than anything either of them had ever heard before, they both stopped dead in their tracks. It stopped.

A pause.

Then the noise came once more. And this time, they figured out what it was.

It was an overpowering squeal of delight.

Chapter Two, Part One: Spoilers-It's Actually A Lovely Place To Have A Picnic

Chapter Two, Part One: Spoilers-It's Actually A Lovely Place To Have A Picnic

Colgate awoke with a start. The first thing she noticed was that she was bouncing up and down, a lot. Second, she was upside down. Third, she was on something, and forth that she was surrounded with terrible noise and dust. She also noticed that she was going very fast. She turned her head left and right to see if she could figure out what was going on. It was day, that much was for sure. And she was apparently on the back of another pony. She also discovered that her mouth was tied shut, and that her four legs were also tied together and sticking straight up into the air. Trying to reach out to her horn, she felt a great resistance preventing her from doing anything with magic. Looking up at her horn (which technically was pointed down, so technically she looked down, not up) she saw it wrapped in a strange cloth of some kind. She couldn't quite figure out what it was made of, but she was pretty sure she knew what it was for.

It was for blocking her magic.

Then it dawned on her.

She had been kidnapped.

Now, kidnapping (more formally known as Foalnapping) in Equestria is an interesting topic. Most of the time, it's all in good and harmless fun. Your friends come in at night, yank you from your bed, tie you up, and haul you somewhere you've never been or don't know very well. At which point they then spring a surprise party on you and then everyone has a nice cup of punch, and lovely presents are given. No harm done, and everypony has a good time.

Colgate was pretty sure that didn't apply here. One, she didn't recognize this pony who was carrying her. Granted one's foalnappers usually wore sacks or something, but one could usually tell who they were, as they usually forgot to cover their cutie marks. Two, the foalnappings were usually somewhat gentle, as nopony wanted anypony to get hurt. This pony was rather rough, and running at top speed. Three, this pony definitely did not smell like Berry. Even through the thick dust that surrounded her, she could smell cheap drink and unwashed pony. Sure, Berry usually smelled of death herself, but her death was rather distinctive. This death was more generic. And finally, she noticed that her foalnapper was a stallion. Berry most defiantly was not a stallion, unless she broke her promise. Colgate however found that to be very unlikely, as Berry was never one to break her word. Granted, she had faults a-plenty, but dishonesty and disloyalty was not among them. Also: this colt had a brown coat, as well as a large cowpony hat. So, in short, this was very clearly not Berry foalnapping her and taking her to a surprise party.

He also smelled bad, but she had already noticed that.

After a few moments, the chaos around her began to make sense. The loud noise she recognized as the sound of a rushing train. Over it, she could hear loud voices straining to shout over it. The voice of her carrier sounded very deep and gruff. She could hear other voices, none of which she recognized, save a few that she could barely make out. She realized that her foalnapper was running along the side of the train tracks, and indeed he was not alone. Behind him was what looked like one or two more ponies, and ahead of him looked to be a few more ponies as well. She could also see the train.

It was the train to Dodge Junction.

Understandably surprised, Colgate had no idea what to make of the whole situation. On the one hoof, she felt a surge of excitement, perhaps even a thrill from the experience. On the other, sheer unbridled terror. The latter was much stronger.

“Mhphpmmphpmmmm!” She attempted to say. Given that she was gagged, it came out rather muffled.

The pony carrying her turned its head and looked at her. Wow, his face was almost as foul as his smell. “Huh, sur ou a-wak, eh?” he raised an eyebrow which looked like a wild bush, and then looked up and past her. “SS'S A-WAK! GRAD E GOODS ND SPIT!”

Colgate could barely understand what he said. She was pretty sure he said something about her being awake, and that it was time to go. Well, that must have been it, because she saw the other figures begin to pull away from the train. Then she saw something that surprised her.

A Griffin.

Though griffins were not unseen in Equestria, it was still rare to see one. It lifted off from the train with something rather large in its talons, and from other parts of the train she could see the odd pegasai or two also carrying something large. They all flew to a nearby pony (most of whom she assumed to be the same race as her captor; an Earth Pony) and deposited the large objects onto their backs. From what she could make out (which wasn't much) they looked like large crates or something like that.

The pony carrying her let out a loud “WHOOP!” and several other voices responded with the same yell and the whole group broke away from the train at once. They headed off to the right, as they all seemed to be on the right side of the train. Colgate couldn't see where they were going, but she hoped that wherever they were going, somepony would find her...

*********

So, here's how it all went down. Or rather, here's what happened. Colgate, after a nice long night of peaceful starry contemplation, had finally fallen asleep. A very, very deep sleep. Now, Colgate was normally a fairly heavy sleeper. No dead log mind you, but heavy enough. Now, take the fact that she had been up the entire night running on adrenaline, and give her a surprisingly comfortable grassy knoll to rest her head on, and she becomes much like the sleeping dead. So, when she finally fell asleep just moments before the sun began to rise, she was not waking up under any circumstances. When the others had awoken (about mid morning) Berry had been the one to first approach Colgate.

“Colgate?” Berry asked, shaking her with a hoof. “Collllgaaaate?” she said, shaking her a bit more firmly. Then she paused. “COLGAAAAAAAATE!” she shouted as she picked her up and began shaking her like a rag-doll. If she had been a can of paint, she would have been well mixed. If she had been a carbonated drink? She would have exploded. As it was, she was neither beverage nor paint, so there was little reaction to the vigorous shaking (save her mouth falling open and her tongue flopping about).

“Uh, Berry?” Lyra ventured, “Berry … I think she's not waking up. You, uh, can stop, ya know.” She said, a look of apprehension on her face. Bon-Bon's face was simply one of shock.

Berry stopped the shaking rather suddenly and looked over at them. “Huh?” she said, somewhat stupefied.

“I think she's pretty much out. I mean, she's still out, look at her.” Lyra said, pointing.

Berry looked at Colgate again. Sure enough, she was still asleep. Her mane was a total mess, but despite that she still looked peaceful (hanging tongue and all).

“I think we'll just have to carry her until she wakes up.” Bon-Bon said.

“Really?!” Lyra whined. “Can't we just wait until she wakes up?”

“No.” Bon-Bon asserted, “we're still in the Everfree, and we should get out as soon as we can.”

“Makes sense to me.” Berry said.

“Fine … but who's gonna carry her?” Lyra asked.

They paused. It was clear that none of them wanted to. Their eyes drifted to Lyra. No, for all of her spunk and energy, she did have a tendency to be a bit of a whiner. So the idea of having to deal with that until Colgate woke up was unappealing to everypony. That, and Lyra was the physically weakest of the three present. As for her magic? Well, carrying ponies wholesale with purely magic was more exhausting then simply carrying them. As magic tended to drain both body and mind.

The eyes drifted over to Berry. The years of beverage making has done little to help her physical strength. While she did all of the mixing, concocting, and fermenting (and drinking for that matter), she didn't do much of the actual lifting. Rather, she would often hire Big Mac if he was available or a few other ponies in town to haul her liquid goods to and fro.

Thus, the eyes all fell on poor Bon-Bon. She let out a weary, and somewhat agitated sigh. “I'm going to have to carry her, an't I?” she said. The other two slowly nodded in unison. Bon-Bon cursed her surprisingly strong frame. Despite looking rather average, she was actually fairly strong. Not enough to uproot houses mind you (unlike some lovestruck ponies [poor Berry didn't sleep well the night after that]), but more so then most ponies would have guessed. She let out another sigh. “Alright, let's get this over with.” she said (not to mention it seriously put a strain on Berry's and Big Mac's professional relationship. Mostly because Berry pitched the bright idea that he should drink more love poison before each delivery so that he could take even larger loads. His reaction to said proposal was both simple, and truly profound. It was 'Nope').

The other two set to work making a makeshift carrier. They worked with surprising speed and efficiency. It would seem that a sober Berry was a productive Berry. Bon-Bon spent the time doing some stretches and exercises. She's spent plenty of time doing heavy lifting and hauling, and thus knew the best ways to prep herself for such. Not that Colgate was heavy mind you, but she figured she's be hauling her for several hours, so it was best to prep herself for the literal long haul. Thus, by the time the carrier was ready, so was Bon-Bon.

Placing the harness on Bon-Bon's back, and Colgate on the bed, they were ready to go.

“So, where're we going exactly?” Lyra asked. The other two paused. Then it suddenly dawned on them: only Colgate really knew where they were headed.

“Uh...” Berry began.

“Well, you should know. Didn't you spend the night in the library?” Bon-Bon said.

“Well, yeah … but you know … I'd been drinking that stuff …” Berry said, blushing somewhat.

Bon-Bon's face could not have been more unamused if it tried.

“Well … I'm pretty sure we need to head to Dodge Junction!” Berry ventured, her voice perking up a bit.

“Well, if that's not the right place, I suppose we could always catch the train and head to where we need to go.” Bon-Bon said, raising her hoof to her chin in a thinking pose.

“Sounds good to me!” Piped up Lyra.

“Well, I guess it's settled then. We head to Dodge until Colgate wakes up.” Bon-Bon said. “So, which way?”

“South! That way!” Lyra said far too quickly, and pointing a hoof.

“How did you …” Berry started to ask, but trailed off as the other two began to trot off. Shrugging, she simply decided to roll with it and followed after them.

The Everfree was surprisingly quiet around them. Which was good. The last thing they wanted and needed was something exciting to happen to them while one of them was out like a light. The trip through the forest was also easy enough. There was no path to follow, but between Lyra's freakishly accurate sense of direction, and Bon-Bon's bizarre ability to somehow navigate the difficult terrain with little effort or trouble (doubly surprising since she was carrying extra weight), they made their way swiftly through the forest. More then once Berry thought it odd how expertly the two manage to avoid pit falls, uprooted roots, and whatever else the forest threw at them. As they made their way, those rumors began to seem more and more credible.

In all fact, it took the trio roughly three or four hours to pop out of the southern end of the forest. During which Berry began to wonder how it was that they had failed so utterly to remain hidden and silent when they had followed them into the forest (well, ok, they had been really good at it until one of them had suddenly shouted something). As it was, they had finally left the forest. And they had popped out next to the train tracks. Rather convenient, save that there was no train stop that they could see in either direction.

“Now what?” Berry asked.

The other two looked back and forth. Unsure as to which way the train was coming, Bon-Bon put her ear to the tracks. “I think the train's coming from the east, so it's headed west, to Dodge.”

“How far is it?” Lyra asked.

“Not sure, but I'd guess it'll pass by in less than an hour.” she said.

“So, we doin' this?” Lyra asked, looking at Bon-Bon with a twinkle of excitement in her eye.

Berry looked between the two with some confusion.

Bon-Bon let out a heavy sigh. “I guess we have no choice.”

“What are we going to do?” Berry asked.

Lyra, with a massive smile of joy, turned to her and said, “We're going to jump onto a moving train!”

Author's Note

It has been a long wish of mine to be foalnapped...

Chapter Two: Part Nineteen and Three-Quarters. Or, in other words: Bonus Chapter!

Chapter Two: Part Nineteen and Three-Quarters. Or, in other words: Bonus Chapter!

The trashmare looked at the letter once more. She knew that the Princess needed to see this. She knew it in all of her being. She looked up at the massive structure before her. How was she going to get it to her? The hotel was locked down, hard. She could see what must have been dozens of pegasai guards flying around the upper levels. On the floor, there were at least two unicorn guards per entrance, and at least one earth pony guard per ground level window. In short: an't nopony goin' in or out unless The Princess says otherwise.

She could wait until nightfall. Perhaps there would be less guards? Or maybe she could get in easier somehow. Perhaps she could sneak in with some laundry or a shipment of some kind. What if she got sucker pads for her hooves, and she climbed up the walls to The Princess's windows? But how could she do that without the guards noticing? Could she perhaps just ask to see her? No, that didn't seem like a good idea.

Well, perhaps the most simple answer is the best answer. She walked a short distance from the main entrance (from where she and several other ponies had been unceremoniously dumped), cleared her throat, brushed herself off a little, then turned around and walked right up to one of the guards.

“Nopony allowed in the hotel without a reservation miss, royal orders!” The guard said, looking at her sternly.

“I know, I know. But I recently got this let-” she began.

“Move along!” The guard said rather suddenly.

“But this is impo-”

“Whatever it is, it can wait. Now move along!” the guard made a shooing motion with his spear.

“No, really! This is really impor-” she pleaded

“BACK UP!” The guard shouted. And, as if simply waiting for a signal, suddenly half a dozen pegasui swooped down on her, grabbed her, and carried her off.

“LET ME GO! THE PRINCESS NEEDS TO READ THIS!” she cried, trying to struggle against the guards who were now flying her to the edge of town.

“Yeah, that and every other paper quilled by somepony in this city!” the guard holding her head snapped back. “An't gonna happen missy! Not until Princess Twilight says so!”

The trashmare so wanted to snap back at him, but lost her chance when the lot of them suddenly dropped her on the ground, and then flew off back to the hotel. She stood up, brushed off the dirt, then stuck her tongue at them. Well, at least they dropped her close to the ground. But that was about the only thing she wasn't gonna hold against them. She let out a sigh. Okay, so trying to do this that way wasn't going to work. The guards seemed far too eager to keep anypony away to talk to. So, what now?

As night fell, she ran the plan over in her mind again. She would approach the fire escape, and throw a rock at it to draw one of the guards. Then, she would make a mad dash for the garbage duct. From there, she figured she had only a few seconds before the guards would either come in after her, or try and drag her out via magic. Figuring that she had a small time frame to work with there, she hoped that she would at least make it to the third floor. And at the very least, the second. At that point, she would have to pop out of the garbage duct and run down the corridor. She figured that at that point the whole hotel would be on alert, and so she would either need a way to get up to the floor The Princess was staying on, or the floor below it, or find a place to hide until things cooled off slightly. She figured the last option was unlikely to happen while she was there, so she would make a mad dash for the elevators. Luckily, she was buddies with the maintenance guy, and even helped out from time to time. So, it was a simple matter of opening the doors, and then either riding a cable, or even the car, up to the floor she needed. After that, she paused.

There would surely be guards on the other side of the door she would open. So the question was, what could she do about them? Wait, didn't the elevator shaft have ventilation ducts every few floors? Yes, that might work. Would she fit? And even if she did, could they hold her weight? She was pretty buff. Heh, she mused, and not for the first time, if perhaps she should try and join the guard again. Nah, she liked Vanhoover too much.

She shook her head. Focus! Gotta stay focused. Okay, so, what to do about the guards at the elevator doors? Perhaps they would be a little more reasonable, and let her see The Princess? Eh, probably not. Odds were that they wouldn't take kindly to a trashpony that was on the run from the guards and trying to sneak into a locked down area. So talking was out of the window. What if she tried the roof? Granted, it had been covered with Pegasus Ponies, but perhaps they would be too busy looking around the building to look at the roof? It would be night after all, and as far as she knew, Pegasus Ponies couldn't see in the dark. But that still left the problem of getting to the floor The Princess was on, for she was on the floor under the top floor.

She kicked the ground. Colt, these guards really thought this through. Sticking her between two floors, guarding every entrance.

Wait. What if she went back into the garbage duct? What if she went through the top floor and to the garbage duct that way? Perhaps, just perhaps, she could be quick enough to get to the room The Princess was in. And perhaps, just perhaps, she could get the letter to her before the guards caught her!

But what if The Princess gets angry? Well, once she sees what's on this letter, she'll understand! Why, The Princess might even give her a pardon for all she did, if not even a medal for being so brave! She felt a swelling in her chest, and her courage began to build as this thought began to sink in. Why, she might even be a hero! Her! A simple, humble trashpony from Vanhoover! A huge grin, from ear to ear even, spread across her face. She rather liked the sound of that. 'Hero'.

Night time is the most annoying time for guards. It's the time when seeing is the hardest, not to mention that practically everypony waits until the sun goes down to before they begin their illegal tomfooleries! So, when the night shift began, rather then getting tired, or sluggish, the guards around the hotel became even more vigilant then ever before. The Unicorns were projecting beams of light every direction they could, the Pegasus Ponies were swirling around the building half a dozen at a time, and the Earth Ponies doubled their guard at all of the windows.

Luckily, some ponies are too stupid to know when they've got no chance. This pony however, was not quite that stupid, but close enough to still try. She took a deep breath. She shook herself to remove the nervousness filling her head. This was too important to chicken out now! She slowly made her way around to the back, ducking between buildings and sticking to alleyways to keep out of sight. She popped her head around a corner, scouting out the back ally of the hotel. Horseapples...

They even put guards at the freaking rubbish duct! Well, more like they were circling the dumpster under it. She saw that not only did they have THREE Earth Ponies walking around it, they even had a Pegasus Pony hovering near by. In her mind, this seemed rather excessive. Why in Equestria would you put so many guards around a GARBAGE DUMP?

Then an idea struck her. She was a trash pony. Dealing with trash was her job. She smiled slightly to herself and stepped right into the ally, as though it was the most normal thing to do at midnight.

“HALT!” cried one of the guards, causing the whole bunch of them to stop, and look at her. Everypony save the Pegasus, who was looking at the dumpster itself. “Who goes there?!”

“Oh, sorry guys! Just makin' some runs. This place is really ritzy, ya know? So they ask me to clear out the garbage at night.” she said, walking forward as though nothing was out of the ordinary. Granted, she was terrified out of her mind, and with each step closer, she got even more so.

“Trash? What are you talking about civilian?!” shouted the one from before, who now stood before her, blocking her path.

“I'm a trashpony, see?” she turned to show him her cutie mark, “This is my job. Is there trash in that dumpster?”

“Uh … I don't know. Can't this wait until morning?” he replied, clearly not liking her being there.

“Not really. Look, I'll be quick, okay? Just let me do this right quick, and I'll be outta your mane in a jiff, okay?”

He let out a sigh. “Corporal!” he shouted at the Pegasus, “is there trash in that dumpster?!”

“Sir, yes sir!” she shouted back.

He let out a growl. He was very clearly displeased. “Fine! But make it quick! We don't have all night to sit and watch you!”

“Thanks, I'll get right on it.” she made her way to the dumpster, which was rather large. If you measured it by ponies, it could hold a good 35-40 of them, depending on their sizes. The duct itself was also somewhat large, for a duct. If one stretched their legs from side to side, they would be able to touch the sides of the duct, provided one was a little taller then your average pony. This trashpony however, was just the opposite.

She walked to the side of the dumpster, and promptly kicked it. The whole thing lifted up on one side for a moment, then came crashing back down, sending trash flying all over the place. Now, normally, these guards would have been able to handle this swimmingly. Such a distraction would have proven fruitless and the poor trashpony would already be tackled and hoofcuffed. This time however, they were caught completely off guard. Unbeknownst to many, this dumpster (as well as a few others) was actually enchanted to conceal the smell. Or rather, it was supposed to be. What actually happened was the unicorn who enchanted it got lazy and only trapped the smell in the dumpster, as long as the dumpster was in the right place. So, give the dumpster a few weeks to ferment, allow the smells to build on themselves, knock it out of the protective bubble it's in, and watch what happens.

The smell hit the alley like a bomb. She actually saw an evil green miasma vomit out of the dumpster at terrible speed, and hit everypony in the ally like a shock wave. The impact actually forced her back a few paces. As for the non-trash smell immune ponies? Well, they were knocked out like lights. Even the poor Pegasus Pony. She gasped when she saw the poor flier get blasted against a near wall, then fall to the ground. She dove, and caught her before she hit the pavement. Placing the guard carefully on the ground, she let out a sigh. The last thing she wanted was for anypony to get hurt. After all, these guards were just doing their jobs.

She turned and jumped up to and onto the edge of the dumpster, and fell right on in. She landed with a lovely squishing noise, and felt something soak into her overalls. Just another day at the office, she thought. She climbed out, and got back onto the edge of the dumpster. She reached into her clothes, and pulled out the sucker cups she brought for just this purpose. Putting one on each hoof, she lept into the duct (which was hanging, vertically, in the air above the dumpster), and began making her way up. Sadly, for her, the sucker cups proved to be rather noisy (not to mention the massive crash of the dumpster), and she heard the cry of alarm. As she quickly, very quickly, made her way up, she heard the sounds of guards swarming to the ally below and their shouts of confusion, followed by orders: “YOU THREE, UP THE DUCT! YOU TWO, REVIVE THEM! YOU FIVE, FOLLOW ME!”

She reached the first floor entrance and dove in, directly into a rubbish bin. She popped her head out of the trash, and scrambled to get out of the bin. She could hear the sounds of wings flapping from the duct behind her. She looked around, panic filling her mind. She was in a laundry room. She hopped out of the bin, and dashed for the door. Locked. “STOP RIGHT THERE!” she heard a voice cry from behind. She dove for a nearby pile of laundry and stood perfectly still. She had done so out of blind reflex, and luckily for her, the guard had shouted that before they had actually reached the entrance. Not the brightest bulb in the bunch, that one.

“You, go to the next floor! You, help me search this one!” she heard another one say. “Look everywhere! The piles, the machines, everything! Even the trash cans!”

“SIR!” she heard two voices shout back. She heard the flap of wings, then the sounds of of the two remaining ponies digging through the rubbish. Not good! Not good! There's no way she could out run two Pegasus Ponies, let alone two trained guards! The door is locked, there are two guards between her and the duct, with another who went to the second floor, and only matter of time before they look in her pile! She suddenly heard the sounds of the ceiling panels being lifted and dropped down. Wow, these guys were thorough.

Her breath began to quicken. No way she could talk her way out of this either. So, she did the only sensible thing she could think to do. She snuck out of her pile, and behind a nearby machine. She slowly made her way across the room as the ponies made their way up it.

The room was simple in its layout. An entrance at one end, and the duct at the other. Under the duct was a bin that hadn't yet been dumped (and was now overturned and making a mess), and several washing machines lined up along one wall, and dryers along the other. It was behind the dryers that she was taking cover. She paused for a moment, to glance over the top to see how far along they had come. One of them was in the air, looking behind the dryers, and the other was digging through a pile of laundry.

“Sir!” the one on the ground said. What must be the commander (for her helmet was a bit fancier then the other one's) looked down at him.

“What is it?” she demanded.

“I think I found something!” she watched from her hiding spot as the guard pulled out what looked to be a life-sized pony plush.

“Check to see if it's real! The intruder might be trying to fake it!”

“Sir!” and with the one on the ground picked it up, and began juggling in the air.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” the commander shouted.

“Sir! I figure that if it was real, it would be too heavy to juggle, sir!”

The commander growled. “Fine! Move on! The intruder could be sneaking past us as we speak!” And she shot a look directly at the line of washers. She scanned them quickly, and flew over to them, and looked behind. Nothing there either. She lifted a few ceiling tiles and looked in. Nothing up here. She flew over to the dryer side once more, and did the same. Still nothing. She watched as her subordinate opened each washer and dryer they passed by. Perhaps the intruder had made it to the second floor? Or …. She flew over to the entrance of the duct, and hovered right in front of it. She turned, looked up and down the shaft, then turned back around, right in time to get a face full of linens most unwashed, and foul. Made only worse by the fact that they had just been used to clean the filth off a very dirty trashpony. Now, she was made of some pretty tough stuff. She had her share of latrine duty, as well as other nasty jobs. Heck, she'd even done combat drills in knee-deep manure (you know, just in case the cows rise up in rebellion. That's what her commander had told them anyway...). But alas, she was not career trashpony. So while she lasted a moment longer then her fellow guard ponies before her had, it wasn't quite long enough to make a warning cry.

She thanked her surprising strength as she caught the falling Pegasus Pony. She carefully and quietly pulled her out, and tucked her into a nearby laundry pile. She then hid behind one of the washers. She watched as the other guard reached the other end of the room, and turn around. “Sir?” he asked, looking around. “Sir?!” He paused, then gripped his spear tightly. He now looked around the room with increased intensity, causing her to duck under the washer. Her heart beat intensified, as she noticed that he went deathly quiet. She heard the gentle swoosh of some wings, then all was silent.

“Commander! Wake up!” she heard him cry. There was no response. “Pony down! Pony down!” she heard him shout. It echoed quite a bit. He must have shouted that down the duct.

“Hold your position! We're sending back-up!” she heard a distant voice cry.

Welp. Now was the time to be stupid.

She lept from her hiding spot and ran to the door.

“HEY! STOP!” he cried, but didn't move. “HURRY, I FOUND HER!” he shouted again into the duct.

She reached the door, and knowing they were totally going to take this out of her paycheck, promptly kicked the door handle. It flung open, and she made a mad dash down the hall. As she made her way, she could see doors beginning to open and hotel guests poking their heads out to see what all the noise was about. She banked sharply around a corner and continued running as she heard a voice cry from far behind her, “BACK TO YOUR ROOMS! DO NOT LEAVE THEM!” She banked around another sharp corner. Oh come on! She cried to herself, Where' the elevator!? Oh, there it is! She breathed heavily once or twice in front of it as she heard the sounds of the guards making their way down the halls towards her position. Smiling slightly to herself, she pulled out a small key. You see, she was very good friends with the maintenance pony for these elevators. Good enough that he made a copy for her. She put the key into a small hole under the ^ button, and twisted. The doors popped right open, revealing that the car was not on this floor. However, the main cable was there. She jumped inside, grabbed said cable, stuck the key into a keyhole near the door, and turned it again. The doors shut with little fuss. She grabbed the cable she was clinging to with her teeth, and let go so as to put the sucker cups on once more (for she had removed them when she had entered the laundry room). She would need them, since the ponies who built this shaft forgot to put a ladder in. She begun swinging back and forth, her jaws still clamping the cable. One, two, THREE! She let go and swung onto the wall, sicking quite nicely, save her two back hooves, which kinda bounced off the wall at first and made her already overworked heart skip a beat or two.

After a bit of struggling, she got her rear hooves onto the wall, and sat still for a moment, listening. She heard several ponies run past the elevators, as well as a lot of shouting. Given the noise, she figured it was safe to begin moving. It looked as though the elevator felt the same way as she suddenly noticed the cable moving and she heard the sounds of the whole thing coming to life. She paused a moment. Then it suddenly dawned on her. She was on the first floor. If the cable was here, then that must mean it's in the basement, which means it's right belo-

WOAH, HELLO! She looked just in time to see the car almost smack right into her rear hooves. She jumped from the wall, and clamped once more onto the cable. She knew that landing on top of the car would alert anypony who would walk insid-

Then she dropped down, right onto the access hatch. If the elevator was coming up, that could mean only one thing: the guards are planning on searching the shaft. And the only way for them to get in, is through car's hatch!

She heard the door open, and the sounds of marching hooves enter. “Are you sure Captain? According to reports, she claims to be a trashpony.”

“That may be true,” she heard a deep voice say, “but we must still warn The Princess.”

“And what about what that Lieutenant said?”

“The shaft? I suppose that would be good place to check. Although the car was in the basement. So I doubt she's in there.” the deep voice replied.

“May I look sir?” she heard a somewhat high voice ask.

“Permission granted.” She heard once more the flap of wings, and suddenly felt something hit the hatch.

“Sir! The hatch appears to be stuck!”

“Is that so?” the deep one said, their voice full of suspicion. “You two, lift me. I'm going to open it myself.”

Oh colt, this was bad. She began looking around, hoping to see something, anything that mig-

B L A M

The force with which the hatch was hit knocked her out cold immediately. So, she was very unaware when she flew off to the side, hit the wall, and fell down between the side of the elevator shaft and the car. She would have continued to fall the whole way to the basement, but one of her hooves managed to stick (quite by accident) to the side of the car.

So, it was with great surprise that when she came to, she suddenly noticed that she was a great many floors up higher then she had been previously. She was also very surprised by how much her poor left rear leg ached, and the fact that she was hanging upside down. She quickly stuck her hooves to the side of the car and then went quiet.

“What will you tell Princess Twilight sir?” the high voiced one asked.

“I will tell her that an intruder had breached the premise and that we are going to increase the guard around her room until they are found. And, if she's willing, we'll barricade her in a single room.”

“Are you sure that's necessary sir? She did battle Tirek after all.”

“This intruder has manged to evade capture while the guard is on high alert. We cannot be too careful!”

The car stopped. “Sir, yes sir!” she heard several voices inside reply. She heard the ding of the doors opening, and the sounds of the occupants leaving. If she could somehow follow them...

She climbed to the top of the car, and looked at the hatch. It had been blown clean off its hinges, but at least it had been put back. She made her way quietly over to it, lifted it, quietly dropped into the car, and removed her sucker shoes. She inserted the key into a small hole, and the doors slid open silently. She poked her head out and looked left and right. Odd, the hallway was empty. Even so, she made her way as quietly as she could down the corridor. This was a floor for the rich, that was for sure. Gilded door ways, fancy carpet, fancy walls, even a fancy ceiling (they seemed rather fond of all things fancy here). She paused a moment to recall which way to go. It was a left out of the elevator, not the right she had started taking.

The journey was frighteningly quiet. No sounds were heard, and not a guard in sight. Still, she had a mission, and she was going to see it through. Even if the hairs on her back were standing up.

She approached the corner that lead to the room Princess Twilight was staying. She took a deep breath, and poked her head around it.

The door was wide open, with no guards of any kind in sight.

Okay, this HAS to be a trap, she thought to herself. There was no way the guards would be this lax. She paused for a moment. She was tempted to make a mad dash for it, hoping that if she ran through the doorway fast enough, then she might outrun whatever trap they set up. No. That was a bad idea. She backed away and around the corner.

“Spoil sport.” she suddenly heard a very deep voice say behind her. Here eyes spot open wide as she turned around. At first, there was nothing. Then as if a curtain fell, the world in front of her dropped down and revealed an entire corridor full of guards. And there, in the front of them, stood perhaps the biggest mare she'd ever seen in her life. “Well, I think you know what happens next.” the mare said, a huge side grin appearing on her face.

She was terrified, and it showed. She'd never been in this sort of position before. The worse thing she's ever done was accidentally spilling a coffee on a guard. Now, here she was, standing petrified, before what must have been hundreds of heavily armed guards, all looking far too eager to put and end to this chase. Her jaw trembled, and her face flushed of all color.

“Oh come on. Show some backbone. What happened to all of that spirit? You're gonna make me feel back for taking you in.” the mare of massive size said, though with surprising sincerity. She sighed. “Seize her.”

“Stop!” came a voice from all around her. The guards all looked up in surprise, and then bowed to their knees. Then she saw a purple light erupt in front of her, and suddenly she found herself face to face with the Princess herself. Princess Twilight Sparkle.

“Y-Your Majesty! It's dangerous!” the large mare cried, and rocketed herself between the two of them.

Well, she made a good effort of it. She stopped cold in her tracks as her body suddenly became wrapped in a purple glow. “It's okay. She's not a threat.” the Princess said, her horn glowing brightly.

“But, you don't know that!” the mare objected.

“I do. Look at her, she's terrified.” the Princess turned to her and looked at her with gentle eyes, “Are you okay?”

“I-I-”

“Princ-”

“It's okay. Really. I can handle this. Tell your guards to stand down. I'll talk to her myself” Princess Twilight said.

“B-But-”

“Please.” she asked kindly.

The mare looked at her, then the trashmare. “As you command, your highness.” Her muscles relaxed a bit, and the glow around her dissipated. “At least let me assign you a guard or two, please?”

“Alright. But only two.”

“Yes your Majesty!” the mare saluted, pointed to two nearby guards, and then turned to the rest. “Back to your posts! We still have work to do!” and with that, the floor was emptied of guard ponies with surprising efficiency.

The Princess let out a sigh as she turned once more back to the trashmare. “Are you okay? I hope you didn't get hurt.” she was touched by how sincere she said that.

“Y-yeah, kinda.” she stammered.

“Are you hurt?” she asked, looking her up and down.

“I-I'm okay … PRINCESS!” she suddenly shouted, startling said pony and causing the guards to point their spears at her.

“P-Please! Just call me Twilight. What is it?” Twilight asked, making a 'it's okay' motion to the guards.

“I-I … letter … I, uh …” her words began to fail her.

“Huh? I can't quite understand you.” Twilight said, taking a half-step closer to her.

“Trash … important …” she was beginning to hyperventilate.

“It's okay. You're safe now. Just take it slow.” she placed a hoof on her shoulder, which caused the humble trashpony to jump a little. She'd never talked to a princess before, let alone be touched by one. She swallowed, hard, and took a few breaths.

“Y-yes. Thank you. I...” she still couldn't quite spit it out.

“Yes? You've gone to an awful lot of trouble to see me. What do you need?” Twilight asked patiently, sitting on the ground.

“I have a letter for you, Princess.”

“Please, just call me Twilight.”

“It's from somepony named Bon-Bon, and it looks really important. It came from your dragon I believe, and the doctors seeing him-”

“WHAT?!” she suddenly shouted, and turned back to look at the guards. “DOCTORS? WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?” The guards suddenly looked between each other, neither of them wanting to open their mouth. “Fine! We'll deal with this latter!” she then looked back at her, “Sorry about that. What about this letter?”

“Uh, well, the doctors threw it out. They thought it was something he just threw up I guess. I-I know I shouldn't read other pony's letters, but my gut told me that I needed to.” she felt a bit ashamed at this.

“Do you have the letter now?” she asked.

“Yes Prin-uh, Twilight.” she said, as she begun to dig though her overalls to find it. Ah, there it was. She pulled it out and handed it to Twilight, who grabbed it with her magic, opened it, and began reading it. There were several moments of silence as she read it. Then, as she finished it, she rolled it up.

“Are you the only pony who's read this?” she asked.

“Yes, you highness!” she suddenly felt very afraid.

“It's okay. Clam down. You're not in trouble. In fact, I'm very glad you brought this to me. That must have taken a lot of courage and skill. Have you ever considered a job in the Royal Guard?” She asked, smiling warming.

“I-uh...” she was stunned. Of course she had! But her cutie mark was that of a trashpony. Not a guard or anything like it! “I've always wanted to, but I'm just a trashpony.”

Twilight chuckled. “A trashpony that managed to outsmart and out maneuver most of the Vanhoover guard? Tell you what. Since you broke the law, and tried to break into my quarters, I'm going to give you two options for your punishment.” She suddenly put on a royal air. “You may either sit in the royal dungeons of Canterlot for 5 months, or...” she then got a large smile on her face, “You may serve two years minimum in the Vanhoover Guard. Now then, which will it be?” she said, a sly smile on her face.

She was stunned. Two years minimum? She had tired for the guard a number of times, and each time they said no. And now a princess was offering her to go into for at LEAST two years?

Her happiness would not, and could not be contained. “I'LL TAKE THE GUARD!” she exclaimed, jumping up and down into the air.

Twilight's grin became a full-blown smile. “Very well. By royal decree, you are hereby sentenced to two years minimum to service in the Vanhoover Guard, effective, immediately.”

“Oh, P-Princess Twilight! T-Thank...” she suddenly discovered that it's rather difficult to talk through a face-full of joy-tears.

She shook her head. “It's okay. You've earned it I think. Hey, you.” she pointed to one of the guards. “Would you mind escorting her to her home so she can get packed?” she asked kindly.

The guard, who couldn't help but crack a grin of his own, saluted and said, “It would be my pleasure your Majesty!”

“And you, tell your commander that I'm leaving. Something urgent has come up, and I must go.”

“When?” the other guard asked.

“Right this very second. And you,” she then turned to the trashpony, “Thank you again. What's your name?”

“M-My name? O-oh, it's L-L...” try as she could, she suddenly couldn't get the word out.

“Yes?” Twilight said, leaning her head in to listen.

“I-It's L-L-L-” she found herself suddenly flustered and rather embarrassed at her inability to simply say her own name, not to mention frustrated!

The Princess chuckled softly. “You remind me of an old friend of mine. She's a brave pony too when she needs to be. Tell ya what, I've got to go take care of this. And when I get back, how about we spend some time together? I'd love to get to know such a brave pony better, but I just don't have the time right now. So does that sound okay?” she asked with a friendly smile.

The trashmare nodded vigorously. “Y-yes, t-that would be great, your Highness!” she answered, rather nervous about the idea of befriending a princess.

“Great! I'll see you in a couple of days then. Oh, and please, just call me Twilight!” The Prin-Twilight's smile grew just a little more as she turned and headed to the window. She opened it, spread her wings, and flew out into the night sky.

Suddenly, and with speed that surprised the guard, the trashmare ran to the window, and shouted at the top of her voice, “LITTERBUG! MY NAME IS LITTERBUG!!!”

The last she saw of Twilight before she vanished into the night, was her looking back, and waving a friendly hoof in the air.

Author's Note

I once said that I like killing my OCs. It would appear I lied. I suppose Litterbug was just too cute to perish.

Also: The guards are actually nice ponies. The only reason they were so mean was because they were grumpy. After all, every single one of them was running on less then 2 hours of sleep. Granted, this wasn't Twilight's fault. They brought that grumpiness upon themselves (that's what happens when you spend a bit too much time watching late-night Hoofball, or in this case, Curling).

That said: thanks to Clacksphob for Litterbug's name.