A Regular Day in Ponyville

by RarityFigma

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Twilight Sparkle, Discord
Length: 2992

Mordecai and Rigby by some random chance end up in...

Mordecai and Rigby awaken to find a land of talking ponies after falling into another wormhole. Oh well just another normal day for the duo. But will they ever get home? And how much will they destroy in the process?

Published 2012-04-26 11:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-26 11:04:02 UTC

A Regular Day

“Owww my head,” Mordecai said as he lay on the ground.

“What happened?” Rigby said weakly.

“I don’t know,” Mordecai answered. “I think were in a… forest or something. Ugh I can barely see.” Suddenly a shadow appeared over Mordecai’s face. “Uhh wait now I really can’t see.”

“What are you guys?” The shadow said.

Mordecai opened his eyes. Standing over him and Rigby was a blue horse. No wait it was really small. Did horses get this small? It was actually sized that Rigby could ride it. Now that was small. “Since when are horses blue,” he asked the strange creature.

“Hay!” The blue animal shot back. “I’m not a horse! I’m a pony!”

“Wait what’s going on here?” Rigby said opening his eyes. The raccoon took one look at the blue pony before sighing. “Oh great what’s this thing?”

“I asked you first!” The blue pony shouted. Suddenly blue wings stretched out from her sides as she glared at the pair.

Mordecai quickly tried to turn the situation around. “Woah woah calm down,” he said to angry apparently winged pony. Mordecai stood up so he could look down on the blue creature. “I’m Mordecai and he’s Rigby.” He said pointing at himself and his still grounded chum.

The pony didn’t look convinced. “I asked what you are, not who you are,” She responded brashly.

Mordecai looked confused. “Well I’m a blue jay and Rigby’s a raccoon.”

“I’ve never seen a bird or a raccoon like you guys before,” the blue pony answered. “Where’d you come from?”

“Oh well it was a funny story,” Mordecai laughed. “So Rigby and me were skipping rocks down by the lake not doing our jobs for a bit and I was totally owning Rigby.”

The raccoon jumped to his feet. “You were so NOT owning me!” Rigby shouted pointing an accusatory finger at Mordecai. “I was just getting warmed up.”

“Dude, I out skipped you like seven times,” Mordecai shot back.

“Well you gave me the crappy rocks to skip!” Rigby yelled back.

“You picked your own rocks!” Mordecai responded.

“Well you picked all the good rocks!” Rigby answered.

“How is that my fault?!” Mordecai shouted back. The pair by this point was having an epic stare down. The blue winged pony had grown both bored and annoyed. She decided to cut in.

“So what happened next!?” The pony asked.

Mordecai turned to face her getting back on track. “Oh what? Well I’d just out skipped Rigby and-“

“IT WAS A FLUKE!” Rigby shouted.

“Quiet dude,” Mordecai yelled. “I’m trying to finish. So anyways Rigby got really mad and threw his rock straight down into the lake. Which was probably why he was losing so badly the whole game.”

“I didn’t lose!” Rigby cut in. “He who makes the biggest splash should win!”

“That defeats the purpose of skipping the rocks!” Mordecai answered.

“Well maybe skipping the rocks is stupid!” Rigby shot back.

“Maybe your stupid!” Mordecai responded.

“FINISH THE STORY ALREADY!” The blue pony shouted. The pair both turned to look at their strange discovery. Mordecai tried to regain his composure.

“Ok so when Rigby threw the rock into the lake a random whirlpool started to form.” Mordecai pointed at Rigby. “He put his hand in the lake and started to get sucked in.”

Rigby got defensive. “I only touched the water cause ya dared me to! Rigby yelled.

“Well I didn’t think you’d get sucked in!” Mordecai yelled back. “So to make a long story short I tried to grab him and we both got sucked into the whirlpool. When we woke up, we were here… and somehow dry.”

The blue winged pony looked warped. “Woah,” She said with confusion. “That’s the coolest thing I ever heard!”

Mordecai looked at her nonchalantly. “Yeah this type of thing happens to us all the time,” he said.

“Yep,” Rigby chimed in. “All the time.”

“Well you guys are pretty cool in my book,” the blue pony said. “I’m Rainbow Dash, best pegasus flyer in all of Equestria!”

Both outsiders stared at the blue pony dumbfounded.

“What’s Equestria?” Mordecai asked.

“What a pegasus?” Rigby asked.

Rainbow Dash looked hurt. “This is Equestria,” She said pointing around the area. “And what do you mean what’s a pegasus? Are you trying to tell me you don’t have pegasi where you come from?”

Mordecai brought his hand to his cheek and struck an intense thinking pose. “Hmmm, well we’ve never seen any pegasuses, but that doesn’t mean they probably aren’t somewhere.”

“Its pegasi!” Rainbow Dash jumped in.

“Look can you just help us get home already!” Rigby shouted.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I don’t know jack about dimension travel! What do I look like an egghead?!”

“Actually you look like a little girl’s doodle,” Mordecai laughed.

Rainbow Dash grew red. “Well I guess I’m outta here,” she said as she turned to fly away.

“Wait wait I’m sorry,” Mordecai said. “Please help us get home.”

Rainbow Dash looked back at the strange pair. “Well I don’t know anything about wormholes, but I do know a pony who might.” Rainbow Dash jumped into the air and began to fly. “Follow me!” She said as she started to fly off. Mordecai and Rigby exchanged glances before taking off to catch the speeding creature.

….

A few miles of running after Rainbow Dash reduced Mordecai and Rigby each to sweaty pulp.

“Tooo long,” Rigby whined. “Can’t move.” The raccoon fell to the ground in exhaustion.

Mordecai managed to stand, but was also really tired. He looked up at the flying pony. “Hay Rainbow Dash,” Mordecai yelled. “Could you like, I don’t know fly slower?”

Dash looked back at the now weakened duo. She had been flying at a slow pace to begin with. The pegasus let a sigh before dropping to the ground. The town was only a mile away. I guess I can just walk Dash thought. As she landed she turned to look back at the stumbling wrecks following her. “Come on guys only about a mile left before we get to town,” Dash shouted.

“I think I’m gonna die here,” Rigby moaned.

“Ugh,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Come on were so close.”

“Carry… me,” Rigby begged.

Dash grew annoyed. “Are you kidding me? I’m not going to carry you!” She responded angrily.

“You could fly and carry me,” Rigby answered weakly.

“I said no!” Rainbow Dash shot back.

Mordecai saw an opportunity. “I thought you were the best flyer in this place,” he jumped in.

“I am the best flyer!” Dash said turning to the blue jay.

“Well I’d think the best flyer could fly while carrying a runt like Rigby,” Mordecai said.

“Hay wait! I’m no runt!” Rigby said jumping to his feet.

Rainbow Dash momentarily contemplated ditching the pair, but heck! What else did she have to do today? “Fine,” Dash said beginning to kneel. “Put Riggs on my back and you Mordo grab my leg.” The pair was surprised for a moment that the pony had forgotten their names in less than an hour, but it really didn’t matter. Mordecai tossed Rigby on Dash’s back before kneeling down to hold her leg.

“Um Dash I really don’t think this is feasi-” Before Mordecai could finish Rainbow Dash began to fly at full speed through up into the air. Rigby and Mordecai held on to her for dear life. The wind blew back their cheeks and they shot across the sky. Within three minutes the trio landed or say, barely avoided a total crash on the outskirts of Ponyville. Dash shook her body annoyed by the sweat rubbed on her. Mordecai and Rigby each wallowed on the ground gasping for air once again.

“Are you guys still tired?” Rainbow Dash asked annoyed.

“Are you totally insane?!” Mordecai shot back barely regaining his footing. “We almost died!”

“But were here aren’t we?” Dash answered now smiling. Mordecai let out a sigh. There was no winning with this pony thing.

“Ok ok so where’s this friend of yours?” Mordecai said.

“Come it’s a half a mile’s walk to Twilight’s place!” Dash cheered. Mordecai fell back on the ground. Rigby didn’t even get up.

….

The walk through “Ponyville” couldn’t have been anymore awkward unless Mordecai and Rigby were wearing 80’s track pants. Everywhere in the town there were ponies doing the same mundane tasks that people did in their world, for the most part anyway. All the while Rainbow Dash shot the pair questions about their dimension, though with Dash asking the vast majority of them were like. “Are there WonderBolts in your world? What about Canterlot? Have you guys ever met royalty, cause I have! Hay Mordecai you’re a bird right, how’s the air in your world?” The endless stream of questions ended as they approached a giant a brown tree.

“Were here!” Dash said triumphantly. The pair looked up at the tree with disillusion.

“Dude this is just a tree,” Mordecai said.

“Twilight lives in the tree,” Rainbow Dash answered matter of fact manner. She walked over to the door and knocked. Rumbling sounds could be heard from the inside.

“You never told us who this Twilight is,” Rigby said to Dash in a tired voice.

“Oh Twilight! Rainbow Dash responded. “She’s-”

Before the pegasus could finish the door swung open. A purple unicorn appeared. Both Mordecai and Rigby grew wide eyed. “Hay Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said. She turned to the strange pair now staring at her with fear. Twilight looked confused. “Um… hi… what are you guys?”

Suddenly Rigby freaked out. “OH GOD NOT ANOTHER UNICORN!” He screamed. The terrified raccoon took off in the opposite direction. Mordecai tried to call to Rigby, but he was long gone. Twilight and Rainbow Dash were dumbfounded.

“What’s his problem?” Rainbow Dash asked Mordecai.

The blue jay scratched the back of his head. “Yeah some unicorns tried to kill us… like four times.” Twilight was awed, but Rainbow Dash grew annoyed.

“Oh so there are unicorns in your world, but no pegasi!” Dash growled.

Twilight quickly pushed passed Rainbow Dash and walked over to Mordecai. “You’re from another world?!” The purple pony asked with a glow in her eyes.

“Yeah,” Mordecai answered. “It’s really a funny story.”

….

Rigby ran in absolute terror until he was no longer even in Ponyville. Heck he’d run so far he almost forgot why was so scared. It wasn’t until he smacked into a conveniently placed rock that his “escape” finally ended. The raccoon groaned on the grass. “Oww, who put this cruddy rock here?” Rigby whined as he opened his eyes. That was when he noticed it wasn’t a rock. It was a statue! A statue of a… of a…….

Rigby realized he had no clue what the statue was. It was rock. That was a given. But its body was ONE of the weirdest he’d ever seen. It was like a serpent dragon thingy with messed up arms and legs. The face was weird too. It looked like the serpent thingy was freaking out that he was about to get hit by a pie or something. Rigby rose to his feet. “Heh, you are possibly the dumbest thing I have ever laid eyes on. OH YEAH! IN YA FACE!” Rigby attempted to punch the statue. CRACK. “OWWW!!!” Yeah bad idea.

Then something happened. The statue began to… chip. The rock fragments fell off and the creature began to gain color. Rigby looked up stupefied. The monster began to move and the first thing it did was laugh.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The thing cackled. “At last somepony has freed me again!” The serpent thing looked down at Rigby puzzled. “Well… something at least has freed me again.”

“What the heck are you man?!” Rigby asked pointing at the monster.
The creature flew down and put his arm around Rigby. “Well my boy they call me Discord.”

Rigby grew at bit annoyed. “No,” he answered. “I asked WHAT you are, not who you are.” The monster looked displeased, but soon it began to laugh manically again.

“Well my friend! I am the embodiment of CHAOS!” Discord chuckled.

Rigby grew fully peeved. “Three words pal,” he responded. “First word, WHAT second word, ARE, third word YOU?”

Discord laughed and flew into the air. “It really doesn’t matter kid,” Discord said as his hands began to glow. Rigby’s eyes widened. “Because now that you’ve freed me. CHAOS SHALL REIGN SUPREME ONCE MORE!” With that Discord fired blasts from his hands that turned the grass where Rigby stood into bendy straws and the hedges surrounding them into cotton candy. Rigby looked with a face of full seriousness for a total of three seconds. 3…2…1

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,” screamed the raccoon as he took off through the field of bendy straws.

....

Mordecai, Twilight and Rainbow Dash strolled through the Ponyville outskirts following Rigby’s tiny tiny footprints. Mordecai was in relatively good spirits. “Wow it sure was convenient that you were working on a wormhole spell Twilight,” the blue jay laughed.

The unicorn turned around. “Yep,” Twilight answered. “Once we find your friend I can send you both home in a jiffy.”

Rainbow Dash flew down to Twilight. “How come you didn’t tell me you had dimension hopping magic?!” The pegasus asked feeling betrayed.
“Patience Rainbow Dash,” Twilight responded. “Patience.”

Mordecai decided to interject. “It’s just like Rigby to run off for miles. I hope he hasn’t screwed anything up yet.”

Twilight shot Mordecai a confident wink. “Don’t worry Mordecai,” she chuckled. “He’s only been gone ten minutes! What could possibly go wrong?”

From a few feet away the trio heard screaming. Within seconds they saw Rigby and without a word other than a consistent shriek of terror he ran right passed them. The trio looked back at Rigby as he fled. Soon they noticed that as he ran the grass under their feet/hooves started to feel different. It felt like cheap plastic.

“We meet again Twilight Sparkle!” Shouted a familiar voice.

The trio turned to see Discord flying straight at them. All three creatures then understandably freaked the fu*k out.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” Mordecai screamed.

“IT’S DISCORD RUN!!!!” Twilight yelled back and within a second the group was fleeing at full speed. The flying monster laughed hysterically as he fired off random blasts of magic, turning clouds into cookie dough and trees into Popsicle sticks.

Mordecai and Twilight ran as fast as they could while Rainbow Dash flew overhead. “What do we do Twi?! Dash shouted.

“I don’t know!” The purple mare yelled back. “I was having the Elements of Harmony cleaned this week!” Rainbow Dash shot Twilight a pissed look to which Twilight blushed with guilt.

“WHAT IS THAT THING?!” Mordecai screamed in between breaths.

“That’s a monster we defeated a few months ago!” Rainbow Dash answered quickly.

“Monster that’s so hurtful.” The trio looked up to see Discord flying above them. The monster patted Rainbow Dash on the head and her wings suddenly vanished. The blue pony crashed to the ground.

“RAINBOW DASH!!!” Twilight screamed.

“GO ON WITHOUT ME!” Dash yelled as she started to drown in bendy straws. “TWILIGHT! TELL FLUTTERSHY I-” But before the wingless pegasus could finish she fell beneath the plastic.

“HOLY CRAP!!!” Mordecai screamed. “IT CAN TAKE YOUR WINGS!”

“I can do more than that!” Discord said as he flew next to Twilight and jabbed her horn. The purple unicorn’s horn vanished on the spot. Twilight started to tear up. Discord laughed even more. “WAHAHAHAHAHA!”

As the chase reached a dead end Mordecai and Twilight saw Rigby desperately trying to scale a Popsicle to safety. When the raccoon turned to see the oncoming danger he backed against the treat and screamed. “AHHHHHHH.” He was justified in doing since Twilight quickly tackled him to ground.

“HOW COULD YOU RELEASE DISCORD?!” She screamed at the flattened raccoon. “HOW DID YOU RELEASE DISCORD?! ALL OF PONYVILLE! NO! ALL OF EQUESTRIA IS IN GRAVE DANGER!”
Rigby started to tear up now. “I DON’T KNOW!” He cried back. “I JUST PUNCHED THE STATUE!”

“Um guys I think were dead,” Mordecai said as he patted Twilight on the back. The unicorn and the raccoon both turned to see that Discord had corned them against a hedge of tall and tightly packed Popsicle sticks. Each looked on in pure terror.
“Oh I’m going to savor this vengeance Twilight Sparkle,” Discord laughed as he casually walked forward.

Twilight and Rigby were shivering. Mordecai tried to think of a way to solve the dilemma. Then the obvious hit him. “Hay Chaos guy,” Mordecai yelled. “I bet you can’t use your weird changy magic against me!” Discord looked puzzled and then annoyed.

“Are you kidding me?” He answered. “MY MAGIC IS ALL POWERFUL!” Discord fired a blast of energy at Mordecai, but the blue jay merely moved a bit causing the blast to hit his chest. The beam was reflected by a tiny piece of metal hidden among Mordecai’s feathers and collided with Discord. “WHAT THE?!” Discord screamed. “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” However it was too late. Discord’s own magic had turned him into a slinky.

Rigby and Twilight both stared at Mordecai in confusion. “What the hell was that?” Rigby asked.

Mordecai turned back to the two onlookers. “What? You guys don’t have a tiny bullet proof piece of metal to guard you heart?”

Twilight looked even more confused. Rigby grew angry. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

Mordecai shot him a glare. “What are you talking about?” He yelled. “It’s a great idea!”

“There is no way a piece of metal that small would block a bullet!” Rigby screamed.

“Oh yeah!” Mordecai replied. “Get a gun and shoot me!”

“Fine!” Rigby shouted as turned back to the pony still lying on top of him. “Twilight get me a gun!” The mare began to sigh as her horn reappeared.

“I think its time I get you guys home,” Twilight whimpered.