An Udderly Strange Fever Dream

by x0jackie0x

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Applejack, Comedy, Fluttershy
Length: 5099

Poor Applejack has the flu and just really needs to sleep it off. But we all know what can happen when a disease influences your dreams.

Applejack has the flu and it's definitely got her feeling upside down. Some medicine and a good nap should do the trick, right? Too bad she left the TV on while her disease riddled mind was trying to recover. Oh, and she should really check the label on her meds before taking them.

Rated Teen for mild language.

Note: Definitely cow themed, plus some (literal) udder weirdness and mentions of milking. Also, strong AppleShy tension.
Disclaimer: Sorry if anything in this story offends anyone bovinically (not a real word) inclined. I'm not racist. I have a friend that's a cow, okay?

Published 2014-11-18 16:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-18 16:10:03 UTC

This can't be real...

Applejack was tired. Really tired. So tired, in fact, that a task as simple as filling a glass with water took extraordinary effort to not mess up. Having hooves didn't help, either, as the poor pony even bothered to think about how life had given her the short end of the proverbial stick; one of the very few times she did. Stubby limbs that couldn't do much seemed rather inhibitive towards daily life, unless all she wanted to do was move around or knock apples out of trees. Which was all she seemed to do every day of her life. Sure there were times when she helped save the world, but how often were hooves involved in that matter? She immediately grew jealous of Spike, then scolded herself just as quickly for thinking, even for a second, that the little reptile had anything over her. "Ugh... I'm a bit ornery when I'm sick, ain't I?

"Ah, dammit!" The glass had slipped from her essentially intangible grasp and promptly fell to the floor. Her reflexes were sluggish, thanks to the inflicted delirium she was currently experiencing and could only watch as the fragile container easily evaded her. Seemingly fragile. As if some benevolent god-like figure was watching over her (fat chance), the glass did not break, only spilling water across the rough wooden floor. Luckily she was alone... Granny would scold her until the sun went down for cursing like that. She was just so muddled and tired... so tired.

The old wooden boards began to absorb the liquid immediately, albeit slowly and Applejack briefly considered letting the water simply sit there until the floor had taken it for itself. Still, she reached for the mop, which seemed to be doing the opposite of what a mop was made to do, spreading the water further than the spill had. Then she realized she was holding a broom. "...I need to lie down."

No one was home anyway. Big Mac was at the market for the day, Apple Bloom was at Sweetie's house and Granny Smith was taking a stroll through Ponyville. By the time any of them had come home, the water would be long gone and she would be in the middle of feeling better, hopefully. It was time to take care of herself. Sure, she tried to power through her sleep deprivation a while back and even fighting off a gang of timber wolves was no big deal, but the flu? This sinister virus that sapped at her strength, made every inch of her body ache and clouded her head as thick as the fogs of the Everfree Forest? It was an ailment she wouldn't wish on her worst enemies.

Washing her hooves of the puddle of water that mocked her presence, she made her way towards the medicine cabinet, fully intent of enlisting some manufactured help to relieve some of the symptoms she was experiencing. She passed the kitchen window and took a curious glance outside at her orchard. In the distance, she saw a few of the workers they hired on during the busy season. Mainly stallions, but a few mares amongst them, they worked hard for their pay; Applejack would scold them otherwise and even as good-natured as she was, wouldn't hesitate to send them home without a single bit. She did feel guilty that she wasn't out there working alongside them. Then a wave of nausea washed over her and she discarded any hint of a guilty notion she had. They could manage one day without her. Besides, in her current state, she'd be more trouble than help.

Digging through the medicine cabinet with the grace of a walrus on a blazing summer day, she finally found the bottle that would hopefully ease her pain and get rid of these (literally) nauseating symptoms. Two should be good. No, three. She had the flu really badly, you know. The pills bounced lightly on the counter after they fell out of the bottle while she turned the faucet on with a simple push from her hoof. No fancy claws needed for that. Spike could go suck eggs. The pills quickly made their way down her throat and she sighed, praying for the capsules to release their magic in a timely fashion. As she put the bottle away, she wondered if she saw the expiration date correctly. "Was it a month or... a year? Please work, if only this once..."

Crackers were needed, for sure. Anything that would keep the churning in her belly from threatening an escape. Sloppily dumping some crackers onto a plate, she grabbed the dish in her mouth and attempted to make her way to the stairs. Her bedroom would be the best place to take this nap; Comfortable, warm enough to sweat out the fever and not a thing to distract her. If only she could get there without stumbling so much. Too afraid to take a tumble down the steps in her condition, Applejack settled on the couch. Getting over being sick was much easier than getting over a broken leg. Besides, the sofa was equally as comfortable, but she would have to bank on the fact that everyone would be gone for a few hours.

Placing the plate on the coffee table next to the couch, Applejack unceremoniously flopped backwards on the furniture, reveling in the plush, worn-in cushions that had aged well with time. She was beat, but propped herself up the couch's arm so she could at least nibble on the little wafers. She glanced over at the remote sitting next to her plate; the television set they owned was old and rarely used, proof of a busy life. Granny Smith usually was the only one whoever touched it and that was to watch a sitcom or two. "Aw, what the hay? I'll indulge this one time." Blindly reaching for the device, she pressed the power button and watched the screen light up with a 'pop'.

"...and they're available now for-" Applejack quickly flipped through the channels, remembering exactly why she never watched TV. The commercials were pretentious, downright annoying and as plentiful as the apples in her family's orchard. Finally, after a few minutes of searching, she found a channel that catered to critter lovers. It was all about animals, all the time, something that Fluttershy would watch. There was the occasional show that Applejack watched, considering that some of the shows were about farms. Wouldn't hurt to see what others are doing, right? Except this time, there were just some cute kittens playing around with toys. Impossibly cute kittens. She preferred dogs but this wasn't that bad a show.

"Better than anything else that's on right now." She tossed the remote back on the table and brought the crackers closer, picking one up and slowly nibbling away at it. Like everything else she had tried eating earlier, it tasted bland. That was another side effect she hated, because she actually enjoyed the taste of food. A tragedy, indeed. As the minutes dragged on, the mewling on the screen and the narrator's soft voice sort of lulled her into a light slumber that she kept waking up from. Applejack, half asleep at this point, dragged the quilt off the back of the couch and snuggled up underneath it. It was only meant for decoration, and she knew Granny would have her hide for it, but at this point, the thick blanket was perfect. It even smelled comfortable. Moments later, she was out.

"Weren't those kittens just adorable? They'll be back, same time tomorrow. And now, our feature for the day, a three hour no commercial special all about our neighbor, the cow. We'll cover interviews and..."

Uh oh.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Applejack woke with a start. A very loud sound had jarred her from her overly peaceful sleep and she groaned as she sat up. She was having trouble sitting up; must've been a bit bloated or something from being sick. She groaned at the interruption of her wonderful nap, hoping that for both of their sakes, whatever woke her up had a damn good reason. Tossing the blanket from her body was a chore with heavy limbs, but that wasn't what caused her to pause. She found out what caused the bloated feeling. She had planned on going into the kitchen for a snack, but screw that, other things had become more important. Her crotch, specifically. Well, her udder. Her rather large udder. Certainly not the normal teats an equine mare had, but a full on bovine udder.

She knew it was different. She knew it was wrong but... it didn't feel wrong. Her body reacted to it like she was born with it. Every movement she made caused it to jiggle ever so slightly, the short teats following the movements it made. She couldn't stop staring at it. "What else changed?" She wasn't entirely sure. Just like the udder, everything on her body seemed natural, from the blond splotches on her coat to the widened hips that were normal on a cow like her. Pony like her. Cow... She shook her head hard, trying to shake the crazy feeling out of her head, but only succeeded in hurting her neck a bit.

More than a snack, now she wanted an explanation. She could think of two things immediately: either Twilight had fudged another spell or Discurd had transformed her into a cow as a practical joke. Both were equally viable possibilities. Strangely motivated, she stood up quickly, almost forgetting that she still had the flu. Did she? She couldn't feel it anymore. In fact, she felt just as strong as she usually did. No more clogged up nose, no more shaky legs, and her nausea was gone. "At least that's one thing out of the way..."

A few steps and it was apparent that her hips were widened, like she thought. The thought was strange, but nevertheless, her body moved with practiced ease. As she left the living room, Applejack found the changes weren;t limited to her, as every picture in the house had her family as cows. Her brother looked strange with horns. Hell, they all did. "This has to be a dream."

The house began to shake slightly and Applejack immediately braced herself against the wall. Earthquakes don't happen in Bovinton after all and the last one to hit damaged quite a few houses. As she stood there, her eyes caught the smallest glimmer of light. She felt an urge to focus on the light, despite what was happening, but found herself standing by the window in the kitchen. The shaking had stopped and she could no longer see the light.

"Alright, what the hell is going on here?" Her voice had not changed, to her relief, but now her new concern was whether or not she would 'moo' if she continued to vocalize. Not that there was anything wrong with mooing, but she would feel weird about it. Maybe. She didn't really know for sure.

Another thought crossed her mind and she quickly spun around, gazing out the window. Her prized apple trees were intact, to her relief, but her workers... all of them cows. All of them. She blinked a few times, hoping that she was just seeing things, but she knew better.

Grabbing an apple out of the fruit bowl behind her, Applejack took a large bite, chewing rather noisily. She was quite distracted and felt like she was forgetting something. Somewhere she needed to be. Tossing the unfinished apple into the garbage, she grabbed her hat to leave the house. It was time to find Twilight. Surely she would know what happened. That cow... pony was smart. Probably the smartest one she knew.

As she opened the door, a little rougher than she should have, a few birds scattered from the refuse pile by her shed. They looked as they always did, thank Celactia. But that still somewhat confused her; if Discurd really had played another prank, there's no way he would have only targeted one species. At this point, she hoped Twilight would have some kind of idea, at least.

It was a pleasant day. She had that much going for her. It was nice and breezy, with enough intermittent shade to keep her cool. She'd have to mention that to Rainbow Dash when she...

"Oh, hi there, Applejack. Nice weather we're having, huh?"

Applejack froze when Daisy Jo greeted her. She was still a cow. This wasn't possible. It didn't make sense! Everything up until now even seemed halfway normal, but this definitely struck her as wrong. Her limbs became exceedingly heavy, making it difficult to take another step. She looked down at the ground to find it sinking in slightly around her hooves.

"Daisy, have you...?" She was gone. Nowhere to be found. Applejack felt it best to continue moving and gradually her limbs grew lighter. Soon enough, she was walking at her regular pace once more and found herself on the outskirts of Bovinton. "That's the second time I called it that. Wasn't it called something else?"

The weather team distracted her in the best way. Cows could fly. The team was out in force today, moving what seemed like a hundred clouds across the sky. She recognized a few from the crowd, such as Cloudchaser and Flitter, but couldn't spot Rainbow. She should be around here somewhere.

"Gangway! I'm gonna take them all out at once!"

Of course. She would be showing off at a time like this. The familiar color spectrum streaked across the sky as cows scattered out of the way, just in time. Rainbow Dash punched through the large collection of clouds, pulling off a loop as she finished the maneuver. She flew directly overhead, but Applejack kept an eye on her target; sure enough, a large gust of wind tore through and dissolved every single cloud in the formation.

"Alright, that was awesome!"

Now was her chance. "Hey, RD! Can we talk?"

"Sorry, AJ! Got too much to do! We can talk at lunch!"

"Lunch?" That must've been what was nagging at her earlier. But when? And where? "Oh yeah, that's right! I'll see you there, then!"

"You forgot didn't you? Ugh... it's at Twilight's place one o'clock."

"Rainbow, we have more work to do!"

"Oh, cow pies. See ya, AJ!" Rainbow Dash zoomed off towards the team, leaving an uncomfortable Applejack behind.

At least she was going in the right direction. But lunch? With all her friends? She couldn't wait until then, she needed answers now. Giving Rainbow one last glance, Applejack hurried through the square towards the library, avoiding the market. She didn't feel like talking to Big Macintosh at the moment and could only hope that her sister wouldn't run into her as she passed through.

Her thoughts kept returning to her friends. What did they look like? Rainbow Dash certainly looked a bit silly with her multi-color splotches, but what about the others? Did her unicow friends look the same? It bothered her that she had no recollection of her friend's appearances. Another thing was brought to her mind: udders. While already consciously aware of her udder, she never really gave them much thought until she ran into Rainbow. Recalling the meeting, Applejack could vaguely remember that Rainbow Dash's udder was... smaller than hers.

When was the last time she felt self-conscious? Never? No, she felt that way when she went to visit her aunt and uncle in Manehattan. The pressure was on in that crazed city, but she was taken aback that she experienced the same over simple anatomy. There was a new motivation present and it spurred her to rush to the library. She needed to fix everything quickly.

"Hi, Applejack!" Out of virtually nowhere came the bouncy, peppy heifer, like she always did. Cheerful as always, Pinkie came rambling up from the west side of town, dragging a large cart behind her. It was loaded with packages bearing the Sugarcube Corner logo.

"Howdy, Pink. What'cha up to?"

"Oh, just delivering some orders for the Cakes. Business is kinda slow today, so I get to take my time." She began to sway a bit, humming a tune. Pinkie's actions were contagious but the moment Applejack swayed even a little bit, she felt her udder move, as well. Her udder, which was also larger than Pinkie Pie's. Dammit. "Hey, is something wrong?"

"Huh? No, I'm good. Just a bit stressed out today."

"You look stressed. When was the last time you were milked?"

"Wh... what!?" How could she just ask something like that out in public!? It was impossible to keep for Applejack to keep her face from becoming flushed and she wanted nothing more than to run inside somewhere. "I gotta get to Twilight's! I'll see you around!"

"But lunch isn't for a couple more hours!"

Applejack ignored that and kept running, feeling her udder bounce a bit. It seems that her body even knew to run in a way to not jar it too much, which bothered her slightly. Whatever. The library was in sight and soon enough, she was knocking on the rough, wooden door. Trying to catch her breath, she heard Twilight call out to Spike.

"Spiiiike! The door, please! I'm trying to finish this research!"

After a minute, the door opened revealing Spike... looking how he always has. Not a single thing different about him, she was sure of it. Even if she couldn't tell for sure, she knew that he would somehow worm his way out of the change. Damn dragon. "Is Twi busy? I need to speak to her."

"A little busy, yeah. She..."

"What? Spike! You should have told me it was Applejack!" Twilight Sparkle hurried to the door, her horn still glowing. She did seemed stressed, but Applejack found her to look almost like she thought would, with large purple splotches and a three horns. She even had her wings. And a smaller udder. Of course.

Spike simply shrugged and left to continue his chores. Twilight's middle horn dimmed and she sighed. The release from magic must be satisfying when you're stressed out. "So, what can I do for you, AJ? I'm surprised you're here so early."

"I need to talk, Twi. And bear with me, it's gonna sound weird. Very weird."

"How weird could it be? You've met Discurd, right?"

"This might be his doing, honestly." She took a deep breath and brought up the words to say, knowing she would be laughed at. "I think Discurd... Discord! I think he may have turned us all into cows."

The words brought a silence into the room that was almost painful to bear. Instead of laughter, Applejack received a very concerned look from Twilight, who cocked her head a bit and opened her mouth to speak.

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me. The fact that you don't know what I mean is proof he did something."

"Discurd's been in the Crystal kingdom all week, Applejack. Now... are you okay? Have you been feeling sick lately?"

"I was, earlier, but I feel just fine!" This was ridiculous. Her health was irrelevant. "I swear, we were all ponies before and now we're all cows!"

"Maybe you were having a fever dream." Without warning, the room began to shake, just like back her house and Applejack instinctively reached out to grab hold of something to keep steady. She could see Twilight looking away, but she didn't seem to notice what was happening. The light came back as well, much brighter than before, as if someone turned on the lights after being in the dark for a few hours. Then, just as before, it stopped after a moment and sudden knocking could be heard.

"What the...?"

"Spike, everyone's here for lunch!" Twilight pulled the door open using her magic and in walked all of their friends.

Applejack was confused. It only took her a few minutes to reach the library. Why was everyone here early?

"Oh, you're here, Applejack? I expected you to be a little late, like always." Rarity looked about as much as she expected, and found her udder to be the same size. That was something of a relief.

Making sure the floor was completely stable, she went to greet them properly, ignoring the comment. "I think you need to hush. I have a busy life, you know."

Fluttershy was the last one to enter and Applejack took notice of two things: How nice she looked and how obscenely large her udder was.

"Hello, everyone. I brought some daisies from my garden for a snack."

Applejack had NEVER looked at the mare in such a light before. Ever. In fact, she was pretty sure she never even looked at another heifer that way, but Fluttershy just seemed pretty. And she seemed self-conscious. Why? Soon enough, everyone was seated on a comfortable cushion on a circle as Spike brought out drinks and snacks. Applejack's own apple cider, water and... milk were served. She made sure not to drink any, thinking it might be Twilight's own supply.

"Rainbow, dear, how did work go today? Dare I assume that Thunderlane went looking for you?"

"Phbbt, screw him, alright? He's a jerk. I don't know what the hell I saw in that douchebag."

"I always told you to steer clear of him, didn't I?"

Applejack shook her head slightly, inwardly groaning at the pun, and scooped some crackers out onto her plate, still baffled about the lack of awareness. She thought back to Twilight's comment about her illness. Was it connected somehow? Maybe it really was a...

"Wow, Fluttershy, your udder is so big! When was the last time you were milked?" Rarity quickly hovered a cracker into Pinkie's mouth, while Applejack nearly choked on her own, receiving a few looks from her friends. Fluttershy tried to cover herself up a bit, but the way she was sitting brought her no help whatsoever. She was only blushing slightly.

"I've just... been so busy with all the critters at my cottage. There's so many more than usual and I don't have any time to myself! Not that I mind, really. I love taking care of them, but I've ended up neglecting a few things in the process."

Well, you really should get yourself taken soon. I remember when I was far too busy designing my new line, Applejack was a dear and offered to help me-"

"-cough cough- I... I did what!?"

"...out. She was gentle and very fast. Trust me, having someone else do it can be very relaxing."

Applejack finished cleaning up the cider she coughed all over her cushion. Twilight seemed a tiny bit annoyed, mumbling something about Spike cleaning it later.

"Applejack? I know you're busy, too, but would you be able to come by later today and help me out? It would mean so much to me..."

Rainbow Dash made a low whooping noise and Pinkie smooshed her hooves together, maybe kissing noises. This time it was Twilight that cut them off, levitating a whole mouthful of crackers into each of their muzzles.

"Um... y-yeah, sure." She couldn't really back out of this, could she? Admittedly, she was quite good at milking the other cows on their farm, as well as herself. Hell, she even taught her sister how to do it. Applejack suddenly found the mere existence of this 'new' memory awkward.

"Thank you." Despite Rainbow and Pinkie's snickering, Fluttershy smiled sweetly at her and Applejack felt her heart skip a beat. This was getting ridiculous.

She needed to talk to Twilight, but she couldn't back out on helping out Fluttershy. Maybe she wouldn't have to be over there until later. Might as well try and enjoy this lunch while she could.

Time went on and Rainbow started going on about some new stunt she wanted to try while Rarity chatted with Twilight about a dress she was designing, something that would be perfect for her. Applejack watched Fluttershy out of the corner of her eye for a little while, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Fluttershy was listening to Rainbow talk about her exercises, making the random comment or two. Only once did she catch her watching, which she responded with another, albeit brief smile.

Lunch was soon over and she cleaned up her mess quickly. The time was now to pick Twilight's brain a bit more, but was stopped by Fluttershy.

"Are you ready? I was hoping we could do this right after lunch."

"Dammit." No choice. Applejack nodded and followed her out the door, saying their goodbyes as they left. Lunch lasted for over an hour and the sky had gained a considerable amount of clouds since she was last outside. She wondered why all the clouds were dissolved earlier, just to put more in... not her issue. She wasn't on the weather team, after all. They walked in silence, with only a glance at each other every so often. The lack of conversation was nice and somewhat calming.

Soon enough, they reached the cottage and Applejack was ushered in, only to be greeted by what was probably the most crowded building in town. No wonder she was so busy. Animals were in every nook and cranny of the cottage, crowded but they looked surprisingly comfortable. There was even a bear napping in the corner with a bandage on his head.

Fluttershy walked past her, little critters scooting out of her way. "We'll have more room upstairs. Head on up; I'll be there in a moment."

Applejack nodded and ascended the stairs quickly, stepping into a hallway with three doors. She wasn't sure which one was Fluttershy's, so she did the most logical thing and checked the closest one. It was a bathroom. That was easy. Examining the remaining two at a distance, she figured the one on the right to be a closet, and the last one to be the actual room. Should she just... head on in? "Might as well." She pushed open the last door and stepped inside, flipping on the lights.

The room was... cozy, as expected. Fluttershy was much like herself, in that practical was the way to go. Very few things in her room were simply aesthetic, everything else serving a purpose, even if it was something as simple as a blanket. Even the flowers could be used for medicinal purposes.

"Oh, you're in here? We could've used the spare room."

Applejack brought a hoof to her face, embarrassed. She turned to apologize, but Fluttershy waved it off.

"It's fine, really. Besides, its nicer in here." Applejack watched her set a bucket down on the floor and drag two stools over, presumably to stand on. Indeed, she stood on them and shifted a bit until she was comfortable. A small blush set itself on her cheeks, but it did not seem to hinder her desire to talk. "Thank you again, Applejack. It really does mean a lot to me."

She needed something to distract her from the situation at hand. Anything. "So uh... you sure do have a lot of animals here. Sure you didn't take on more than you could chew?"

"Maybe, but I don't mind. After all, they needed the help, right? If I turned them away, they could get worse. I don't even wanna think about what could happen..."

Applejack leaned forward and reached for Fluttershy's udder. She knew exactly what she was doing, but it was just... so awkward to be doing it to a close friend.

"Isn't it nice, though? Having all of these animals here? Its like a dream."

Once more, the ground shook, violently this time. Applejack was unable to keep her balance and she fell onto her rump, more afraid than she had been in years. The light came back, as well, more brilliant than anything before. It was blinding, and every sound somehow became muffled.

Fluttershy sounded panicky. Applejack pushed herself up but luckily, after a few moments, the shaking stopped and the light gradually faded. Her hearing came back, but what she heard was... well, she didn't understand.

Fluttershy was practically standing over her, crying, screaming at her. Applejack could only stare as tears dripped onto her own face, falling from above. One thought ran through her head. "I am so fucking confused."

"She doesn't understand you like I do!" Fluttershy's jaw trembled as she tried to hold it all back.

"Fluttershy, I have no idea what you're..."

"You do! I may not be elegant, classy or... or successful like her, but she never loved you!"

What the...

"I need you." And with that, Fluttershy fell onto her, closing her eyes and pressing their lips together in a sloppy, strange... yet undeniably warm kiss. They fell backwards and Applejack felt her neck connect with the bucket. She watched the milk splash over her in slow motion, and everything went black.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Applejack woke with a start, again, finding herself back in her own home, underneath the same quilt and on the same couch... sopping wet. Frantic and disoriented, she tried to figure out what exactly happened.

"What the..."

"I better not hear what I think I'm about to hear."

Applejack whipped her head around quickly enough to hurt her neck a bit and found Granny Smith holding an empty glass. She must've poured it on her. Then she gasped, a small smile on her face. "It was only a dream!"

"Don't you know better than to take pills past their date? Tryin' to get yourself killed or something?"

"Granny, I just had the craziest dream! I was..."

Granny Smith held a hoof up to interrupt her. "With all the tossing and turning and... mooing, whatever you dreamed, I don't think wanna know." She placed the glass on the sink and brought a towel over to Applejack so she could dry off.

"Wait, why didn't you just wake me up?"

"Don't you think I tried? The fever had you pretty far under. Shakin' you did nothing."

Applejack took the towel and sat back against the couch, drying her off. She still felt quite sick, but at least she was awake now. That dream was definitely going to haunt her for ages.

...Maybe she should pay Fluttershy a visit.