Farewell

One week later

A week had passed since Rainbow Dash had died in her girlfriends arms. Seven short days. Fluttershy had reverted to her maiden name. She had intended to carry on being a Dash but the very first time someone had called her “Dashie” she had broken down in tears. She couldn't even recall who that had been. She had lost count of the people stopping her in the street and saying how sorry they were for her loss, for their loss, how it was a blow to Equestria. Fluttershy didn't care anymore, she’d stopped answering them, as good intentioned as they were. They were all the same, boring old platitudes that just got older the more they were repeated. Empty hollow words from people that didn't even know Rainbow Dash, who’d heard about her achievements and adventures, the “Hero of Equestria" or as the bearer of the Element of Loyalty. They didn't know Dashie, her Dashie, the Dashie that had loved her, laughed it's her, defended her and ultimately had died for her.

They didn't know, they couldn't know, it was her fault.

That Rainboom, it was just for you babe.

Rainbow’s last words drifted into her mind, taunting her like they always did, haunting her every moment.

It was for you. Just for you. It's your fault. It was for you.

The girls had rallied around her of course, they had stopped by her cottage on a daily basis. Reminiscing over old events, the day they all met in Ponyville, the time they had caused utter chaos at the Grand Galloping Gala, and other such good times. They recalled their adventures together, how they had confronted Nightmare Moon in the old castle ruins. That was the first time they had adopted the Elements of Harmony, they had returned Nightmare Moon to her pure form of Princess Luna as they drove out her corruption. They spoke of other victories, how they had beaten Discord, or how they had beaten any of the other various and multitudinous threats to the land that seemed to occur on a weekly basis. Fluttershy just sat in her seat, not really listening, merely nodding along. Her friends even insisted on staying over with her, faking turns to sleep on her sofa. It was almost as if they weren't allowed to leave her alone for more than a few minutes. Not that it mattered. Whether she was with company or not those last words still haunted her thoughts.

It was for you, I did it for you. You made me do it, it's your fault, YOUR FAULT!

The nights were worse. Fluttershy lay in her bed, one of her friends on the sofa as normal. She’d fight to stay awake, resisting sleep for as long as she could. Then sleep would come, and so to would the dreams. No amount of company could stop the dreams or ease their intensity.

The race was almost over. Fluttershy was sat with her friends in the VIP box in the stadium, guests of Celestia and Luna. The princesses had insisted they join them, wouldn't take no for an answer. Fluttershy had hated the pomp and ceremony of it all. Rarity had lapped it up of course, Applejack made a show of disliking it. Fluttershy wasn't here to show off, she was here to cheer on Rainbow, to see her Dashie perform as only she could. Rainbow loved to race, lived for it with a desire so intense it was like anyone else breathing air. Rainbow wasn't just good at it, when she raced she was an artist and Fluttershy loved to watch her perform.

From her vantage point Fluttershy could see Dashie turning the last corner of the track, she was easily going to win, and in a joyous state Fluttershy was leaping in her chair, whooping and cheering Dashie ever onwards. Ever since Rainbow had schooled her in the art of a good cheer she was determined to encourage her girlfriend as much as she could, regardless of the amused looks of the VIP’s around her.

Rainbow was looking straight at her. Not just in her direction, Rainbow had managed to find HER in the crowd. In that instant they had connected, somehow. Dashie saw her cheering her on, and Fluttershy had saw her switch to a higher gear, racing ever faster. She saw Dashie give her a wink as the Sonic Rainboom had erupted behind her, saw the sheer pleasure on her face as she broke the sound barrier, the rainbow coloured streak flow from her hair marking her passage through the air.

Then Fluttershy saw Dashie flare her wings, knew the danger signs as Dash tried in vain to slow down. Saw that she was still going too fast, much too fast. She looked on helplessly as Dash lost control, a momentary lapse in concentration and her beloved was spiraling head first to the ground. Shy willed her to pull up, sure it was a prank at her expense. Any moment now she’d rise up, laughing at Shy’s shocked face.

No. It didn't happen. She saw the dreadful, awful impact. Arms still outstretched Dashie ploughed impossibly fast into the ground, leaving a metres long furrow behind her. A second ago there had been the noise of the crowd, now there was utter silence. No one moved, no one even breathed. The other racers had stopped and started milling around the furrowed crater. Shy couldn't stand it, she leapt to her feet and flew down to the track, shoving her way through the gawking athletes.

Rainbow Dash, her Dashie was laid before her, sprawled in an impossible position, limbs bent in unnatural angles. Shy dropped to her knees beside Rainbow, weeping openly.

Then the horror. Dash was moving. Shy saw it but refused to believe. Slowly, awkwardly, Rainbow pushed herself to her feet, turning to face Fluttershy.

Fluttershy screamed. Rainbow was staggering towards her, her head lolling to one side as her broken neck refused to hold it upright, cold dead eyes staring glassily at nothing. Tattered wings hung limply at her sides, rotted skin sloughing off her dead frame. Then she spoke, a ghastly whisper. “That Rainboom was for you babe. You did this to me. You killed me.”

The corpse-Rainbow was upon her, broken arms reaching around her, pulling Shy into a twisted embrace. Shy could feel fetid breath on her neck as her dead girlfriend kissed her neck and pulled her hair so that she was looking her straight in the eyes.

“It was for you. You. Killed. Me.”

Fluttershy screamed herself awake in the darkness of her room, sweat pouring off her. Rarity and Twilight thundered through the door to comfort her to now avail. Sleep was impossible now. This was the seventh night, the seventh time the dream had assaulted her with the cold hard truth. Dash’s voice was still in her ears. Hopefully the funeral later that day would set some of this to rest.

2pm, that afternoon.

The funeral was to be held at the lakeside. Everyone agreed it was the perfect location. Grey clouds had been arranged for the occasion. No bright sun today. Nature itself was manipulated to reflect the solemn air. Of course the mayor and princesses had insisted on a full state funeral. No small dignified affair would suffice, no small send off was allowed for the passing of one of Equestria’s greatest heroes. Fluttershy hated it. There were hundreds of seats arranged in front of the raised podium. Next to it was the casket and grave. Fluttershy along with Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie all sat along the front row, mere feet away from the coffin. All the seats were filled behind them. Some people she knew well, others she knew just by name, many many others she hadn't even met. It seemed like the whole of Equestria had emptied out to pay its respects to Rainbow.

Fluttershy was vaguely aware Twilight was standing at the podium, she was speaking. Celestia and Luna respectfully stood behind her, allowing her to conduct the service. Shy could hear Twilight rambling on, occasionally catching words like “nobility of spirit, courageous, exemplary character…….” Fluttershy was sure Rainbow would’ve hated her using words she didn't understand. Although she would've welcomed all the attention, she would've found it awesome.

Twilight was motioning to Fluttershy to come to the stand, handing Fluttershy the envelope so she could read out the last thing Rainbow had written. Shy stood there alone at the podium, facing out at the huge crowd in front of her. Ordinarily her courage would have failed her before now. Not today. She owed this to her Dashie. Opening the envelope she removed the paper within.

A small scream left her. On it was scrawled “your fault”, “you killed me”, “did it for you”, “it should be you in the hole”, “your fault”, “it should be you”. Dropping the paper she crumbled to her knees, sobbing into her hands. Instantly her friends were at her side, helping her up, drying her eyes. Someone handed her the paper back but she just shook her head, not even touching it let alone looking at the evil paper.

Twilight stood at the podium to read it out. Fluttershy made a vain effort to stop her, knowing what was scrawled on that paper. Pinkie, Applejack and Rarity misread her intent and pulled her into a four way hug as Twilight started her reading.

This was it. Everyone would know now. “It's your fault, you should be dead”

“Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you planned:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.”

Twilight finished her reading, hers and everyone else's eyes full of tears they had been holding back. The massed crowd as one entity let out the grief they all felt. Fluttershy was stunned to her core, that wasn't what the paper had said, where was the accusing scrawls? With a shaking hand she took the paper from Twi, looked at it and it indeed had the tender poem her wife had wrote. In panic Shy screwed it up and threw it away. Absently Pinkie picked it up and placed it in her purse as Applejack steered Shy to the waiting grave with a gentle hand.

In silence Twilight and Pinkie stood on one side, Rarity and Applejack on the other. With a final goodbye to their friend they slowly lowered the casket into the hole as Fluttershy placed a single pink rose on the lid. Once it was finally resting at the bottom Shy threw a handful of dirt then stood back as Twilight and Rarity levitated the rest of the soil in place. A simple marble headstone marked Rainbow’s resting place on the bank of the lake.

In loving memory of

Rainbow Dash

1994 – 2014

Loving Wife

Sister

Loyal Friend

Fluttershy stood alone for a long time by the headstone, kept company by her thoughts.

“Your fault. You killed me. They all know you killed me. Should be you dead. YOUR FAULT!”