The X Fillies

by kingtiger666

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Dark, Comedy
Length: 1041

I Want To Believe

Agent Sparkle was a logical, scientific mare, firmly grounded within the realms of the real world.
Agent Pie was a renegade, believing in things most other ponies would call her insane for even thinking of.

Now they've been assigned together, to work on the so called 'S Files' of the EBI. They can trust nopony as they delve into the vaults of horror and strangeness that lurks just beneath the surface of calm, beautiful Equestria.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-26 11:34:01 UTC

The Seaddle Sound Part One

“Agent Sparkle, please come in.”

The aloof voice of Assistant Director Blueblood drifted from the adjoining room. He seemed more than a little agitated, although that was to be expected. Twilight Sparkle got off the less-than-comfortable bench and walked into the now open door to Blueblood’s office.

The office was a somewhat Spartan affair, containing only a few filing cabinets, and Equestrian flag, and Blueblood’s dark, wooden desk. In one corner, a mare in a black suit stood puffing on a short white cigarette. A.D. Blueblood sat at his desk, a look of slight frustration on his face as he motioned her to sit.

“I see you’ve been with us just under two years.”

“Yes sir,” Said Twilight, stiffening with surprise at the statement.

“You went to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, majoring in Science, but chose not to pursue it as a career. Howd you come to work for the EBI?”

“The EBI recruited me right out of Celestia’s School. My parents still think it was an act of rebellion, but… I saw the EBI as a place I could distinguish myself.” Twilight allowed herself to ease a little.

“Are you aware of an agent named Pinkamena Pie?” He said, a note of disapproval in his voice.

“By reputation, sir. She’s a Trottingham educated confectioner who wrote a monograph on cereal killers and magic, helped catch Gordon Ramsheep in 998. Generally thought of as the best analyst in the Culinary Crimes Section.”

“What I’ll also tell you is that Agent Pie as developed a consuming devotion to an unassigned project outside the bureau mainstream. Are you familiar with the so called ‘S Files’?”

“I.. Believe they have to do with unexplained phenomena?”

“More or less. The reason you’re here, Agent Sparkle, is we want you to assist Pie on the S Files. You will write field reports on these activities and observations on the validity of the work.”

“So I’m to understand that my job is to ‘debunk’ the S Files project, sir?”

“We trust you’ll make the proper scientific analysis. You’ll want to contact Agent Pie shortly. We look forward to seeing your reports." He said, as he whirled his chair around to look out the window.

Twilight knocked on a small brown door in the basement of the EBI building.

"Sorry, nopony down here but the EBI's most unwanted!" Said a high pitched voice on the other side.

Sparkle pushed the door open. The room was a cluttered mess, the walls covered in everything from posters to what appeared to be dried cake batter. A desk against the far wall was stacked with cookbooks on everything from lemon meringue pie to cupcakes. More than one had fallen to the floor, open enough to show that the pages had been scribbled all over with diagrams, notes, and corrections. In the near left corner stood a pink mare, currently crouched over an oven.

"Hello Agent Pie, I'm Twilight Sparkle. I've been assigned to work with you." Said Twilight, trotting over.

"Just... A few more.... Seconds...."

"Um, what are you doing?"

Suddenly, there was a loud *DING!* and Pinkie shot up into the air. In one fluid motion, she opened the oven, took out a tray of cupcakes, and shoved one into Twilight's mouth.

"Hi! Are you excited cause I'm excited cause I've got a new partner! I don't think I've ever been so excited except for this one time brought down an armed drug dealer who was selling illegal baking supplies in Manehattan! But that's a different story and you probably don't care and even if you do I'm not telling you about it yet because I'm foreshadowing something and you don't need to remember it now until something happens later!" Shouted Pinkie.

"Well, Miss Pie, it's an honor to meet you. Everypony at the academy's heard of your exploits. They call you 'Ghostly' Pinkamena Pie."

"Oh please don't call me Pinkamena! Just call me Pinkie! All my friends do!"

"Alright then, 'Pinkie', I look forward to working with you."

"Oh! I know! You're a scientist, right? That's silly, I already know you're a scientist because I read your senior thesis! 'Starswirl The Bearded's Quadruplet Paradox: A New Viewpoint! I read it and it was interesting and cool but really long and boooorrrrriiiiinnnggg! I need a scientist to look at these pictures cause the other scientists couldn't figure it out and I really really need a scientist to figure it out! Pleeaaase?" Exclaimed Pinkie, all in one breath.

"I... Uh.... Sure?"

Pinkie turned out the lights and bounced over to a projector in the center of the room. Flipping the 'ON' switch, the image of a dead unicorn appeared on the wall. The first thing Twilight noticed was the fact that it was no longer a unicorn. That is to say, most of the horn was missing. Only a short stump protruded from the corpse's head. The lack of blood was somewhat disconcerting. The other disconcerting thing about it was the fact that both the coat and mane were stark white. Then Twilight's eyes wandered to it's flank, which was adorned with a small flute.

The corpse was lying next to a dumpster in a grimy alleyway. The ground was covered in garbage and soaked in rain, which had fallen the night before. The body, however, appeared to be completely dry, showing that it had been placed there recently.

"What... Could've done this?"

"I think it was aliens but nopony else thinks it was aliens and I need somepony to help me prove it was aliens because it had to be something, right? So in other words, that's what you're supposed to find out, silly-filly! Oh, and this was recovered from the scene of the crime!" Pinkie said, holding up a brown envelope.

Pulling it over with her magic, Twilight opened it to discover a small silver disc. It was completely blank, except for one word: 'Seaddle'."

"Pinkie, what is this?"

"I dunno. It has the name of the city the body was found in, but that's all I know!"

"Well then Pinkie, it looks like we're going to Seaddle."

"Oh! You know what this means: Chapter End!"

"Pinkie, wha---

TO BE CONTINUED