The Scotsman and The Fashionista 4

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 1984

Jock and Rarity are now the best of friends — but then she finds out that the unicorn is Scotland's national animal...

Rarity and Jock Wallace were once the most bitter of rivals, but now they can safely say that they are the very best of friends.

While Jock is visiting the Carousel Boutique one day, Rarity learns that the unicorn is Scotland's national animal. She isn't happy about this, and demands that Jock takes her to speak to whomever is in charge of the government there.

Jock reluctantly accepts — but her reason for going turns out to be the opposite of what he expected it to be...

Published 2014-12-06 19:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-06 19:40:07 UTC

Mission To Scotland

Bringing her sewing machine to a stop, Rarity observed the dress she was working on and nodded contentedly. She stood up, removing the dress and placing it gently over a nearby ponyquin. Her eyes roamed over the dress, smoothing out imperfections, until she was perfectly happy with the result.

"Another masterpiece, even if I do say so myself," she said with a giggle. "Now to tidy up and head to—" She was interrupted from her thoughts by a heavy knocking at the door, to which she smiled broadly. "There's only one man I know who knocks like that."

She trotted to the door and opened it in her magic, revealing her visitor to be a human. He looked down at her and grinned for a moment, before opening his arms. Rarity chuckled as she reared onto her hind legs and hugged him.

"A'right, Rarity?" the human asked as the two separated. "I wis in the area and decided tae pay ye a wee visit." He looked around, noticing the mess of fabric and thread all over the floor. "I'm no', er, interruptin' onythin', am I?"

"Not at all, Jock," Rarity replied. "In fact, I have just this moment finished a brand new order and was about to tidy up."

"Let me gie ye a haund wi' that," Jock offered. "I'm no' due back hame for a bit, so I've got plenty ae time f'r my favourite mare."

Rarity giggled. "That's very sweet of you," she said. "Well, come on in and we'll get started."

Jock nodded and entered the boutique, taking off his jacket and throwing it onto the back of a chair. As it landed, an object fell out one of the pockets, prompting Rarity to trot over and pick it up in her magic. The object was a small brown rectangle, bearing a coat of arms alongside the word 'PASSPORT' in bold letters.

"Whaur dae ye want these?" he asked, entering the room and holding up an armful of fabric, stopping as he noticed the item in Rarity's levitation aura. "Here, whit ye daein' wi' mah passport?"

Rarity turned around in shock. "I assure you, Jock," she stuttered. "I was in no way going through your pockets. It fell out and I was curious as to what it was. I must say that I am intrigued by this, though." She indicated the coat of arms on the front, present among which was the image of a unicorn. "What is a unicorn doing on the front of your passport?"

"Oh, that?" Jock replied. "Well, the unicorn is Scotland's national animal, efter a', so it's only natural it wid—"

"I beg your pardon?" Rarity interrupted, dropping the passport on the floor. "Did you just say 'national animal?'"

Jock nodded meekly. "Aye, I did," he said. "The unicorn has been a part ae Scottish culture since the twelfth century, when it wis used as a heraldic symbol."

"This..." Rarity paused for a moment, then snorted angrily and stomped a forehoof into the floor. "This is an outrage! How can your government still continue to use unicorns in this way, even after the link between our worlds has been open for so long?!"

"Well, I dinnae—" Jock began, only to be interrupted by Rarity shoving the passport into his arms – scattering the cloth he was carrying all over the floor – and then storming upstairs. "Uh, Rarity? Whit are ye daein' noo?"

Rarity came back downstairs with a suitcase held in her levitation aura. "I am coming back with you to Scotland," she replied. "And then, when we get there, you are going to take me to see whomever is in charge of the government there!"

"You..." Jock shook his head. "You cannae be serious!"

"My dear Jock," Rarity cooed. "I have never been more serious of anything in my entire life." She put the suitcase down and opened the door. "Now, will you be a gentleman and carry my case for me?" She batted her eyelashes at him.

Jock sighed. "I'm no' gonnae be able tae talk ye oot ae this, am I?" he asked, to which Rarity shook her head. "A'right, fine, I'll come wi' ye tae Holyrood — but I'm no' promisin' ony miracles!"

He picked up the case, following Rarity out of the Boutique and into the crisp evening air. The mare cast a final glance at the mess and grimaced. "I must tidy that up when I get back," she muttered. "Then again, Sweetie Belle might just surprise me by actually tidying up for a change, rather than always making a mess."

She giggled at the thought, then closed the door and hurried to catch up with Jock. The two of them walked through Ponyville until they reached a plain white building, which had a sign saying 'Earth Link' on the front. As they approached, Jock spoke.

"When wis the last time ye went through the portal?" he asked.

Rarity tapped her chin for a moment. "If memory serves me correctly, it was on two occasions over a year ago," she replied. "On both occasions, I came to visit you at your office — first to complain, and then to serve you with that court summons."

Both of them winced at bitter memories.

"Well, I need tae warn ye," Jock said. "Things huv changed since yer last visit, especially since that Tirek guy tried tae tak' ower."

"Oh?" Rarity asked. "How so?"

"Ye'll see when we go through the portal," Jock said cryptically.

They approached the portal and stepped through, emerging on the other side amongst a large group of humans. Rarity looked around in fear, noticing that most of them were armed.

"Soldiers?" she queried, to which Jock nodded. "But why?"

"It's like I telt ye," he replied. "Efter Tirek tried tae tak' ower, the government decided tae increase security aroond the portal. They were gonnae dae it onyway, efter the Changelings attacked Canterlot, but it would have taken months tae implement — I guess ye could say that Tirek hurried things along a wee bit."

Rarity giggled as one of the soldiers approached. "Halt!" he demanded. "Give me your names, some form of identification, and the reason behind your visit today."

Jock produced his passport and showed it to the soldier, who proceeded to take it from him and scrutinise it meticulously.

"My name is Jock Wallace, ye've got my ID, and I'm comin' hame tae the country whaur I live," he said, rattling off the phrase as though he was getting tired of saying it.

The soldier handed his passport back. "All right, your ID checks out." he nodded. "Go through the scanners, please." Jock nodded, doing as he was asked, as the soldier turned to Rarity. "It's not often we get Equestrians coming through here." He continued. "What is your name and why have you come to Scotland?"

"My name is Rarity," she stated. "And I have come to Scotland, as you can tell from my suitcase, for a holiday." She paused. "Wait, are you not going to ask me for identification?"

"Your cutie mark serves as your ID," the soldier explained. "Please take your suitcase and step through the scanner."

Rarity did as she was asked, stepping through the device. A gentle humming noise filled her ears as the machine did its job. A female soldier, sitting at a computer nearby, looked to her comrade and gave him a thumbs up. "She's good," she said. "She's not a Changeling, and I can't detect anything untoward in her luggage."

The male soldier nodded. "Very well, Miss Rarity." he walked over to a table, littered with paper, and took a few pieces. He wrote something on them, then stamped them before handing them to the unicorn. "These are your visitation papers, and they are valid for two weeks — plenty of time to enjoy your holiday."

Rarity took the papers from him and put them in her suitcase. "Thank you, sir," she said. "Though, from what I've heard about Scotland, I dare say that two weeks won't be enough time."

The soldier grinned, he and his comrade both waving goodbye to Rarity as she left the processing area. Jock was sitting on a bench nearby, flipping idly through a magazine. He quickly tossed it aside and stood up as he saw Rarity approach, taking her suitcase from her. "Nae problems then, I tak' it?" he asked.

"I told them I was here on holiday," Rarity replied. "A rather silly thing to do, I know, but had I told them why I was really here... well, I'd probably be sitting in a holding cell by now."

Jock shrugged. "Mebbe ye wid," he said. "But if that wis the case, ye ken I'd bail ye oot nae worries."

Rarity smiled at him. "Thank you, Jock." she began walking towards the exit. "Now, would you be so kind as to direct me to the nearest hotel? If I am to stay here for a fortnight, I might as well make the most of it — Celestia knows I'm due a holiday, anyway."

"A hotel?" Jock shook his head. "Sorry, Rarity, but ye're in Edinburgh noo — the place whaur a hotel here will cost ye at least ten thousand bits... and that's jist fer one night."

Rarity's jaw dropped. "Ten thousand a night?!" she screeched. "That's preposterous, how can they justify charging that much?!"

"Yer no' the only Equestrian visitin' Scotland, ye ken," Jock explained. "The hotels simply want tae capitalise on a' the ponies visitin'." He paused. "Onyway, yer mair than welcome tae stay at mah hoose fer the twa weeks — I cid use the company, efter all."

Rarity blushed. "That's very kind of you to offer, Jock," she said. "Thank you, I think I'll take you up on that — and perhaps you can act as my tour guide while I'm here?"

Jock grinned. "Aye, I cin dae that f'r ye." he nodded.

"Splendid!" Rarity clopped her forehooves together eagerly. "In that case, my dear friend, please lead the way!"

Jock saluted and began walking, leading Rarity through the winding maze of corridors. As they walked, Rarity took stock of her surroundings — the drab grey walls with peeling paint, the faded posters of concerts long past adorning the walls, the sounds of several conversations going on at once, the constant pounding of feet – and the occasional set of hooves – against the floor, and ultimately the smell of rot and decay. Rarity turned her nose up and grimaced, something Jock didn't fail to notice.

"Wid I be right in thinkin' that ye're thinking o' the many ways ye'd doll this place up?" he asked, to which Rarity nodded. "That's you a' over, though, always tryin' tae make 'hings better."

The only response he got was a small nod from Rarity, which made him chuckle and roll his eyes as the two finally left the building and stepped out onto the busy street.

"Welcome tae Scotland, Rarity," Jock said. "I jist hope that whatever you're plannin' tae dae is worth it."

"Oh, it will be, Jock." Rarity nodded. "It will be."

Nothing more was said as they got into a waiting taxi. And as the vehicle made its way down the clogged streets, Rarity found herself staring out of the window.

Rarity is ready for you, Scotland, she thought. But the real question is... are you ready for Rarity?

Author's Note

Nope, it wasn't marked 'Incomplete' by accident — unlike the other stories in the series, this one really is going to have multiple chapters. I have it all planned out, and I'll even try to work in a couple of little twists towards the end! :raritywink:

Oh, and ye arenae gettin' ony translations. If ye cannae unnerstaund whit Jock is sayin', then that's yer ain problem an' no' mine.