Author's Note
Fair warning.
This is only the second time in my life I've ever parodied a song. Mostly out of boredom, and partly because I wanted to challenge myself and see if I could even do it. My first attempt can be found under the "Let Him Go" Storyarc of Goodnight Woon, and I like that one a lot better than this one.
Continue forth, valued reader.
Cutie Curtain Call
One year earlier, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had made their memorable debut in the Ponyville Elementary talent show. It was unexpected. It was new. One could even say it was smashing. They had been the talk of the school for weeks afterward, and the Crusaders, though not intending to take home awards for Best New Comedy Act, had rolled with it. Now, one year and countless rehearsals later, they were ready to do it again.
On stage, Snips and Snails were finishing up a horrific beatboxing routine that included no words, no music, and what could only have amounted to several jars of excessive spittle. They seemed to think they were the greatest thing since peanut butter on toast, although the stunned and politely quiet crowd waited with eager anticipation for them to shut the buck up.
Backstage, Applejack adjusted her little sisters outfit, who shuffled impatiently as they waited for Snips and Snails to finish doing... whatever it was they were doing.
"Are ya sure yer ready?" Applejack asked. They'd only barely avoided an entire demolition last year, although it went unspoken out of mutually understood politeness.
"Of course ah'm ready," the youthful accent replied. "Now git to yer seat, we're gonna be on!"
Applejack smiled thinly, and returned to sit next to Rarity, who was sitting next to Twilight, who was sitting next to Fluttershy. A seat on each completely opposite end remained empty. "Where are the others?" Applejack hissed. "They're gonna miss it, and ah ain't never known Dash to be late to anythin' what had Scootaloo involved with it."
"What did you say, darling?" Rarity asked, and unplugged the cotton she'd kept in her ears. Applejack repeated herself.
"I'm sure they'll be here," Fluttershy whispered. "And if not, I'll bet they'll be really really sorry and have really really good excuses. And we'll forgive them, because that's what friends do."
"But will the Crusaders forgive them?" Twilight asked. "Scootaloo will be devastated."
Snips and Snails finished their routine, and waited for an encore. None came. There was hesitant, scattered applause instead. The pair looked annoyed, pouted, and exited the stage with the puffed up appearance and demeanor of someone who's mother had just been insulted over a poker game.
Cheerilee resumed to her spot off to the side of the stage, a forced smile plastered on her face. "The... um... musical stylings of Snips and Snails, everyone," she said, and almost apologized for it. "Thank you all again for coming this evening, and Ponyville Elementary would like to extend a special thank you to Big Macintosh, for constructing our setpieces, and Vinyl Scratch, for composing a most interesting... score... for the evening."
"Aw YEAH!" A voice shouted from the back, though it was too dark to determine its exact location.
"To round out and close our annual talent extravaganza, we have the Cutie Mark Crusaders, with a surprise number that, following the last act, is particularly sure to surprise and delight. Please be sure to stick around afterwards to meet all our performers in the gymnasium following the show."
Cheerilee stepped aside, and there was scattered applause once more. The lights dimmed to a near pitch black darkness.
A light and rhythmic tapping of a drumset broke the silence, bringing with it a pleasantly hypnotic beat. Several seconds later, and without much warning, the riffing of a powerful battery powered electric guitar shattered into existance, with such force and passion that several members of the crowd suddenly jumped. A moment later, a single spotlight illuminated the left side of the stage, illuminating Sweetie Belle, adorned in a matching black jacket and fedora.
"They told us fillies not to come around here, don't wanna see our embarrassingly unmarked rear. We can't play their pony games so we better steer clear and seek it, just seek it."
A second spotlight illuminated Scootaloo in the middle, in a matching outfit and perfectly coordinated dance set coordinated with Sweetie Belle's.
"We tried climbing both mountains and trees, hopping scotch and jumping rope until we hurt our knees. We tried taming hawks and we tried taming bees so seek it, just seek it. BUT WE WANNA FIT IN!" The two went off in a rounding chorus.
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Ain't no simple way to cheat it!
"All those other bullies, they can't get us down, gonna keep trying til our marks come 'round..."
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"The other kids they taunt us with tiaras and spoons, while the grownups just keep saying we won't meet our doom,"
"While we tolerate the teasing to the point that we swoon,"
"They don't understand the pressure so if we don't get it soon, we'll seek it... just seek it!"
The third spotlight illuminated now, and Apple Bloom slid into focus, similarly dressed like the other two in a hat and jacket, and fit right into the carefully choreographed dance while joining in.
"We have to show them we're not helpless or scared, just wanna have our marks like the grownup mares! The journey won't be easy but we stand strong and declare WE'LL SEEK IT! Just wanna fit in!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Ain't no simple way to cheat it!"
"All those other bullies, they can't get us down, gonna keep trying til our marks come 'round..."
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Ain't no simple way to cheat it!"
"All those other bullies, they can't get us down, gonna keep trying til our marks come 'round..."
"Just seek it! Seek it! Seek it!"
"Just seek it! Seek it Seek it!"
"Just seek it! Seek it! Seek it!"
The curtains swept aside to their fullest extent now, and there was a cheering roar from a particular set of four mares near the front as it was revealed that Rainbow Dash, hovering near the top left of the stage, was the one riffing violently on the battery operated electric guitar, while Pinkie was enthusiastically drumming off to the right of the three fillies, two drumsticks in her hooves, one in her tail, and one in her mouth. Nobody was entirely sure how in the world she was pulling that off.
Dash's solo was only meant to go on for about thirty seconds, but thirty stretched into sixty, becoming all the more wild and enthusiastic the longer it went. As the solo approached a minute and a half, Pinkie picked up speed on her drums, and the three girls launched into their chorus again.
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Ain't no simple way to cheat it!"
"All those other bullies, they can't get us down, gonna keep trying til our marks come 'round..."
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Ain't no simple way to cheat it!"
"All those other bullies, they can't get us down, gonna keep trying til our marks come 'round..."
"Seek it!"
"Just seek it!"
"Seek it!"
"Ain't no simple way to cheat it!"
"All those other bullies, they can't get us down, gonna keep trying til our marks come 'round..."
"Just seek it!"
The girls finished with an elaborate slide forward on their back legs, chests heaving, an confetti shooting out from Pinkie's drums and completely covering the audience.
The crowd absolutely broke into a roar, and was on their hooves before the last notes of the instruments had even faded away into the air. The girls were sweating but absolutely beaming, and the girls slipped off backstage to catch their breath.
"Nailed it?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"That's the question, I suppose," Apple Bloom said.
"No, the real question is did we get our cutie marks for that," Scootaloo reminded. "We came so close last time, I know we did!"
All three girls held their breaths, and together craned their necks to look at their flanks.
