Ms. Celestia

by Flint-Lock

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 6117

What if Celestia was just an ordinary mare?

Everypony daydreams.

Some ponies daydream about becoming rich and famous. Other ponies daydream about meeting their one true love. Still others daydream about becoming great heroes.

Celestia's daydreams are nothing like that. Indeed, when her mind wanders, she imagines what her life would be like if she was an ordinary mare. No tiara, no wings, no castle. Just an ordinary mare living an ordinary life in an ordinary town.

What would those daydreams look like?

Note: Special thanks to Justin for proofreading and editing!

Note 2: Electric Boogaloo: FEATURE!!!

Published 2014-11-12 19:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-12 19:10:05 UTC

Only in my daydreams

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Ms. Celestia trotted down the dirt path to Ponyville, basking in the soft sunlight.

The snow-white unicorn had always loved mornings, especially on days like this. She loved the way the sun’s gold-red rays turned the dew-soaked grass into shards of diamond, silhouetted against a salmon-pink sky. She loved the wisps of mist rising from a nearby lake, as if a group of lost souls had decided to stop there for a quick swim. She loved the feel of morning dew on her fetlocks.

But to Celestia, the beauty was just the icing on the figurative cake. Mornings had a feel to them, permeating the air like electricity. It was the same feel one got from cracking open a new journal, or taking the first step on a long journey.

It was times like this that Celestia felt sorry for late risers. They didn’t know what they were missing.

As Celestia trotted along, the meadows and plains of the town outskirts gave way to fields and, finally, the familiar straw rooftops of Ponyville came into view. The morning dew had worked its magic on the town as well. Walls and cobblestones had a beautiful sheen to them, as if some obsessive-compulsive pony had tried to polish the entire town. The soft light of the early morning sun gave the whole place a warm, welcoming feel; it was as if every brick, every plank, every stone was giving her a hearty “good morning.”

About time everypony got up. When Celestia had left on her morning walk, the town had been all but empty. Now it was slowly waking up. Shopkeepers were lifting up the shutters on their doors. Vendors of all colors manned their stalls. Ponies of all sorts ambled, clopped, or in the case of pegasi, flew through the streets on their way to work.

Every single one of these ponies was offered a hearty “good morning” from Celestia, like a mailpony delivering greetings. Some of the replies were equally cheery. Others were the half-hearted grunts of ponies who had heard of being cheery in the morning but hadn’t quite internalized the concept.

Something clipped Celestia’s spade-shaped ear. She pinned the ear back and rubbed it absently. Who in the-? Celestia looked up to see a grey-green earth pony perched in a tree above her. In his hooves were a pair of well-used garden shears.

Celestia smiled. Who else?

“Good Morning, Mr. Shears!”

“Morning Ms. Celestia.” The tree-bound pony adjusted the safety harness around his middle, not once taking his eyes off his work. “Nice morning, isn’t it?”

“I know. The Princess really did a good job this morning”. Celestia noticed a light carpet of small twigs and leaves around the tree. “Didn’t you trim this tree yesterday?”

“Yeah. Did a lousy job ” Mr.Shears leaned over. With the delicacy and precision of a surgeon, he opened the clippers and snipped off a leaf that had offended him somehow.

“It looks fine to me.” Celestia said.

“Not to me.” Another snip. A bit of twig the size of a marble fell to earth.” It’s lopsided. Surprised it hasn’t fallen over..” The clippers shaved a fraction of an inch off a stub of a limb. The Earth pony wiped sweat from his brow. “Not stopping until this thing is perfect! Town’s counting on me!”

Celestia rolled her eyes. That stallion could trim those branches into a perfect sphere and he wouldn’t be satisfied.There was no helping some ponies. “Well, I best get going now.” She chuckled. ”My students aren’t going to teach themselves!”

Shears just nodded and returned to his task.

Methinks that stallion could use a therapist. She could understand being dedicated to one’s work, but this went way beyond dedication. Could it be some form of Obsessive Compulsive-

Something wafted past her nostrils. A warm, buttery, syrupy smell, like it had wafted from the ovens of paradise itself. Celestia’s train of thought promptly jumped the tracks and exploded. All thought ceased as she stumbled, zombie-like to Sugarcube corner. The next thing Celestia knew, she was inside the bakery, staring into heaven.

A plump Earth pony walked out of the kitchen, her aqua coat lightly dusted with flour.

“Oh, morning, Ms. Celestia!” She said with a smile. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I’m...fine…Mrs. Cake.” Celestia said tonelessly, staring at the display case as if it were the face of Faust herself. They were calling to her: buttery croissants and fluffy biscuits. Doughnuts painted with frosting. Strudel full to bursting with fruit.

Celestia could hear the pastries. Hear them cooing to her with their sweet, seductive voices.

Eat us, Celestia eat us, Celestia... Eat... Us…

No! In her head, a serious, no-nonsense voice spoke up. You just had a filling, nutritious breakfast at home. The last thing you need is more calories.

But, but the frosting, the butter… Celestia wheedled.

Sure, they may look tasty, The voice said ...and they might be tasty, but you know what they’ll do to your figure. Your flanks are already getting a little chubby.

My flanks are not chubby Celestia looked over her shoulders. Her flanks were as toned and firm as the rest of her.

C’mon, just one. Celestia bargained with the voice. Please, just one little itty bitty pastry? Please, please, pretty please?”

The other voice in Celestia’s head gave a metaphorical groan.

Fine. Eat your pastry. Bloat your butt up to the size of a hot air balloon. See if I care.

“Uh, Ms. Celestia?” Mrs. Cake scratched her bubblegum-pink mane. “Are you alright?”

Celestia shook her head. “I’m fine. Just a little distracted, that’s all.” She traced her hoof over the display case for a second. What should she pick. They all looked so good! ““I’ll...I’ll...” Her hoof stopped over a tray. “I’ll take a croissant, please!”

Mrs. Cake dropped the crescent-shaped chunk of deliciousness into a paper bag.
“Here you go.” She said with a smile. “That’ll be two bits.”

Celestia dropped two golden coins on the counter, tore open the bag, and sank her pearly whites into the helpless pastry. The instant the baked treat hit her tongue, a volcano of flavor exploded in her mouth, flooding her senses with warm, buttery deliciousness.

“ Princess, Princess Celestia?”

Celestia looked up from her croissant. Who was that?

“Princess Celestia, your presence is needed in the Throne Room.”

The bakery, Mrs. Cake, and the croissant turned to mist and dissolved away. In their place was the Royal Bath.

Celestia turned to see a guard standing by the door.“Yes?” She picked herself out of the magically-heated water and shook herself like an oversized dog. A magic towel wrapped itself around her mane. “What is it?”

“Chancellor Ironclaw’s airship has been spotted on the horizon.” The guard reported. “He will arrive within the hour.”

Celestia stomped her hoof, cursing her vivid imagination. “Horseapples!!” The meeting! She’d forgotten all about it!

“Quickly, prepare the throne room!” A quick spell and her wet fur dried out instantly, while another spell summoned her gold collar and tiara. A quick brush and comb turned her mane into a flowing river of hair, as if a miniature aurora had attached itself to her head.

Celestia rounded a corner, nearly collided with a servant, then galloped over to the throne room and plopped her hindquarters on her throne. Through the windows, she could see the dull-gray ellipse of the Chancellor’s airship.

The anxious alicorn went over her mental notes like a student cramming for an exam.

Ok, Tia, remember: Be aggressive, but not too aggressive. Griffons like that.

She nodded. Also, Emphasize the benefits of a revised trade agreement. Mention how it’ll benefit the Empire’s economy, and thus increase tax revenue. After all, if there was one thing rulers loved, it was money.

Celestia nodded again. If she just stuck with that, this conference would go as smoothly as chocolate souffle. She licked her lips. Mmm... chocolate souffle.

As she waited for the Griffon Chancellor to arrive, Celestia’s thought’s turned to her daydreams. It was funny. There probably wasn’t a filly alive who hadn’t dreamed of becoming an alicorn princess. Most ponies would give up their two right legs to become her. Everypony admired her. Nearly everypony loved her.

Yet here she was, daydreaming about being an ordinary mare with an ordinary life. Life was kind of funny like that.

Celestia could hear the sharp click-click-clicking of talons on hard tile. He’s here! The solar monarch straightened herself on her throne and gave her mane one final brush.

Here goes nothing!

-

A few hours later found Celestia trotting down the hallways in a huff.

Why do I even bother? She clomped down the hallway to her personal quarters. Three hours. Three hours of sitting next to the most unreasonable being in Equestria. Three hours of trying in vain to hammer something through said being’s thick skull.It was like trying to negotiate with a boulder.

No, that would be better. At least a boulder wouldn’t try to snatch a peek at her flank when it thought she wasn’t looking...

“Good morning, Sister.”

Celestia turned her head to see a periwinkle-blue alicorn walking beside her, taking a sip from a mug proclaiming her “#1 Night Princess.”

Celestia nodded. “Morning Luna.” Technically, it was early afternoon, but for Luna, that might as well be morning. ”How was last night?”

“T’was a most productive night.” Luna took a sip of bitter-smelling black coffee. “I defused seven nightmares, destroyed a rampaging DreamEater, and passed a new ten percent tax on saltlicks. She took a loud sip from the mug. “Did your negotiations with Chancellor Ironclaw bear fruit?”

“I wish.” Celestia snorted. “The old bird wouldn’t listen! Every time I tried to make a point, he’d just repeat the old spiel about ‘contaminating griffon culture’ and ‘softening our proud race.” She said in a parody of the Chancellor’s raspy baritone.

Luna took a sip from her mug. “I am not surprised. The Chancellor is notoriously stubborn, even by griffon standards.”

Celestia nodded. “It didn’t help that he kept ogling my flank whenever he thought I wasn’t looking.”

Luna giggled. “Yes, I doubt that improved the situation.” She noticed Celestia’s haggard appearance. “You look drained, sister. You could use a -what do they call it- a charge?”

“You mean a boost?”

“Yes. A boost.” Luna motioned to her mug. “Shall I have the maids prepare a pot of my special brew? I have found it most useful for providing me with energy during Night Court.”

“Ugh, no thanks, sister.” Celestia grimaced. The last time she’d tried her sister’s ‘special brew’, she’d been wired for two days straight.

Luna shrugged. “Tis your loss.” She finished the last of her coffee and let out a a contented ahh. ”“I had best prepare myself.” A Ms. Cheerilee of Ponyville asked if I could talk to her students about dreams. Apparently I have become quite popular with them.”

“Oh… Well, have fun!” Celestia said, fighting back a spike of envy.

With a yawn, Celestia trotted to her study and plopped down on a sofa that predated many of Equestria’s cities. She had two precious hours to herself before Day Court started.

Might as well get some reading done.
Celestia ran a hoof over the spines of her personal collection. She stopped at a first edition copy of “The Oats of Wrath.”
The bibliophilic alicorn cracked open the cover and started to read of the trials and tribulations of the Goat family. Over time, the words seemed to blur together into an illegible mass. She stared into space. Inside her brain, thoughts and images stirred. Reality turned fuzzy, like a blurry photograph, then faded away...

-

Let’s see, which key is it?

Celestia fumbled with her keys, testing each one in the lock.

No. No. No. Again, no. She huffed. It figured, she could remember every line of the “Hay Flakes” radio jingle from twenty years ago, yet she couldn’t remember which key unlocked the schoolhouse door.

It was official. She was getting old.

Finally, the door accepted one of the keys, creaking open with a noticeable groan. Celestia stepped in and flicked on the schoolhouse’s lights. The enchanted globes flickered to life reluctantly, as if Celestia had woken them up from the best dreams of their lives.

“Alright, lets get to work.” Celestia plopped her hindquarters on a stool behind her desk and opened her bag.

Lets see: Lesson plan?

Check.

Graded composition papers?

Check.

Smile?

Celestia gave the cheeriest smile in the history of smiles.

Check, check, and check.

Everything was in order. She was ready to teach.

Celestia folded her forelegs on her cherrywood desk and waited. They’d be here any second now.

As she waited, the unicorn looked at the teaching certificate on her wall. She smiled. Back when she’d first become a teacher, her family had thought she would teach at one of Canterlot’s prestigious academies, much like her grandsires.

So imagine their surprise when she announced that she was accepting an opening at the Ponyville schoolhouse. They’d protested, oh Faust how they’d protested. You’d give up a chance to teach some of Canterlots finest to teach some inbred hicks? They’d said incredulously. They’d gone on and on about how she was "throwing away tradition and prestige for some one-room shack in some podunk backwater."

And you know what, she didn’t give a buck.

The door creaked open. Celestia looked up from her paperwork to see an Earth Pony filly trot in.

“Good Morning Mith Tia!”

Celestia smiled. “Good morning to you too, Twist.”

The tan filly rummaged through her saddlebag and pulled out something wrapped in brown paper.

“I goth you a peppermint sthtick. I thought you might like it!”

“Why, thank you Twist.” Celestia unwrapped the striped stick and took a bite. The hard candy shattered under her teeth, filling her mouth with a minty, peppery bite.

“It’s delicious!”

“Thanksh!” Twist beamed and sat down at her desk.

Three more fillies trotted in; an earth pony, a unicorn, and a pegasus.

“Morning Ms. Tia!” They said in stereo.

“Good morning girls!” Celestia said.

“We got you something!” Each filly left a shiny red apple on Celestia’s desk. “Hope you like them!”

“Thank you!” Celestia said. The fillies trotted up to their respective desks.

Soon, the rest of the class filed in, each carrying their own little offering for the goddess of knowledge. Diamond Tiara and her friend left her an elaborate fruit basket with a card reading “To the best teacher in the whole wide world”. Snips and Snails left her a box of chocolates, half of which had been eaten.

Celestia rolled her eyes and packed the gifts into her bag. Test weeks were always like this.

Celestia stood up and cleared her throat. “Good Morning, fillies and colts!”

“Good morning Ms. Tia.” The class said in spooky unison, as if they had suddenly become a hivemind.

Celestia levitated a piece of chalk and started writing on the chalkboard, the little piece of calcium carbonate gladly giving up its flesh for the greater good.

“Today we’re going to learn about...” She drew a circle around her writing. “...Long division!”

The class groaned as one.

Celestia chuckled. “Yes, I know. I never liked it when I was a filly either, but it is important!”

A hoof was raised. “Mith Tia?”

“Yes Twist.”

“How can long divithion be important?”

“A very good question, Twist.” She rubbed her chin for a second, then scribbled on the chalkboard.

“Lets say your family gets an order for, say, 400 peppermint sticks. You have to pack them into packages of eight. How many packages will you need?”

Twist looked as if Celestia had just asked her what purple smelled like.

“Let me explain.” Celestia wrote 400/8 on the chalkboard, then went through the various steps showing how to solve the problem.

“And there you have it! You’d need 50 boxes. Do you understand?”

The class nodded. A warm feeling bloomed in Celestia’s gut. The satisfaction of knowing that your class had actually learned something.That was her purpose in life, to illuminate young minds with the light of knowledge. Her stylized sun cutie mark said so.

Something caught Celestia’s ear: the sound of paper folding. A slightly snotty giggle. She turned around ever so slightly to see Diamond Tiara passing a note to her friend. Before Silver Spoon could read the covert message,a small spell from Celestia turned the little piece of looseleaf turned into an origami butterfly which flitted over to her.

“Please wait until after class, Diamond Tiara.” She said, tucking the animate sheet of paper into a drawer. The class tittered. Celestia secretly relished the sheepish look on the chastened filly’s face.

She turned around and resumed her lesson.

“Waddya think, Snails?”

Celestia rolled her eyes again. Seriously?

“Duh, yur right. It is getting bigger!”

Out of the corner of her eye, Celestia could see Snips and Snails staring at her rear as if it were the face of Queen Faust herself. Like compass needles toward magnetic north, their eyes were firmly fixated on her flank.

Celestia moved her flank up, their eyes moved up. When she moved it down, their eyes followed. When she moved it into a circle, their eyes dutifully followed.

Inside, Celestia groaned. If those two paid as much attention to her lessons as they did her hindquarters, they might actually pass.

That, and maybe her flanks were getting a bit chubby.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Tia?”

Celestia turned around to see a light pink unicorn waving her hoof in the air. She smiled. “Yes, Dinky?”

“Isn’t it time to meet with the Council?”

An eyebrow was raised. “What?”

“Celestia, snap out of it!”

Once again, the Princess found herself back in her bedroom, staring right into Luna’s eyes.

“Sister, are you feeling well? You appear... distracted.”

“It’s nothing, Luna.” Celestia shook her head. “Just have a lot on my mind. What time is it?”

Luna pointed to the clock. “Tis nearly two o’clock.”

Celestia jumped. Curse you, imagination.

She quickly straightened her mane. "How do I look, Luna?”

“Like a million coins”

“Bits. Like a million bits.” Celestia said.

Luna shrugged. “T’was close enough. Anyway, you best get going to the council chamber. Senator PorkBarrel is chomping at the bit to present his newest proposal.”

"I’m sure he is” Celestia said in a deadpan tone. Her tiara and collar floated to her side and dutifully placed themselves onto her body.

Luna put a hoof on her sister’s back. “Do not worry. If you can lead our land through a Diamond Dog invasion, I know you can deal with him.”

“Thanks Luna.“ Celestia galloped down the hallway to the Council chambers with the enthusiasm of a mare going to the dentists’ office.

No, scratch that. Celestia would have preferred a dentist appointment to this. At least at the end of an appointment the dentist would give you a sucker. Usually, at the end of a Day Court session, all she got was a migraine.

The Council room grew closer and closer. Celestia sighed. Might as well get this over with.

-

Two hours later found Celestia plodding down the hall, completely and utterly drained.

As usual, the Day Court had been a complete waste of time. Senator Pork Barrel’s proposal had been one of his usual schemes; a proposal for funds for a new “Pork Barrel Barrel Museum.” He’d claimed that it would “educate the citizens of the fine city of their illustrious past.”

Needless to say, she hadn’t been amused.

The rest of the session went, well, as it usually did. Senator Firebrand had called for the repeal of the Inter-species Marriage Act, calling it “an affront against the natural order”. Senator Whip and Senator Gerrymander had started a shouting match which almost broke into a hoof-fight, and Senator Bezzlement requested more funds for his “anti-corruption taskforce”.

By the end of it all, Celestia was wondering if Sombra had the right idea when he had his entire council banished to the Badlands.

Celestia groaned and plopped her flank at her desk. At least the hard part was over. Now there was the task of looking over her mail.

With a sigh, started looking through the mountain of mail. Some of the letters were reasonable enough: a request from a local farmer for a slightly extended rainshower, a complaint about a local politician, things that concerned the average citizen. Those were filed away for further consideration.

Then there were the crank letters. And by the Queen were there a lot of them today! Marriage proposals from ponies all over Equestria- some of whom were already married. Letters warning of a supposed conspiracy to dump powdered poison joke into Canterlot’s water supply. Proposals for how the Canterlot government could be better run, etc. Those were ingloriously fed into a paper-shredder labeled “No.”

Once she was done, Celestia pivoted around and looked out the window behind her. The sky was perfect today, a perfect robin’s egg blue, without a single wisp of cloud. It was the kind of sky one could stare into forever.

At Celestia stared at the blue expanse, her mind escaped from its leash. Like a curious dog, it began to wander again.

Hmmm…

Celestia studied the two cantaloupes, examining them with the scrutiny of an anal-retentive jeweler.

The gnarled spheres floated in front of her face like two edible moons. “Now which one?” The first melon was somewhat small, but its rind was unblemished. The second melon was noticeably larger than normal, but had a prominent bruise.

Blemish, or small. Blemish, or small? Blemish-

“Uh, ma’am?”

Celestia looked up to see the pale green pony manning the fruit stand. “You’re kinda sorta holding up the line.

Indeed, there was a line of slightly annoyed ponies piling up behind her.

“Oh. Sorry!” Celestia blushed and placed the smaller melon into her grocery bag. Quality over Quantity after all.

Here you go!” Celestia tossed the stallion three bits. “Keep the change.”

The stallion smiled. “Thanks!”

With that, Celestia trotted off into the crowd. “Lets see.” She brought out her list and put on her reading glasses. “I’ve got bread, celery, daisies, melons...is there anything else we need?

If she did, she wouldn’t have any trouble finding it. The Ponyville farmer’s market was packed with ponies of all races and colors. Everything was for sale: cucumbers, watermelons, honey, apples, apple cider. If it could be grown, baked, cultured, or fried, she could find it here.

“Look out Below!”

Celestia barely had time to duck before a grey blur slammed into the ground in front of her in a cloud of dirt. Celestia brushed dirt out of her eyes to see a grey pegasus in a mailmare’s uniform doing a very credible impression of an ostrich.

“Help! Help! I’ve gone blind!” The mare flailed around as if the hole was trying to devour her. “I can’t go blind! I need my eyes! I’ll lose my job! Dinky will starve! I’ll have to-”

She then patted the ground around her head. Her body relaxed. “No wait, nevermind. I’m not blind. I’m just stuck.”

With that revelation, the pegasus pushed against the ground, trying to free her head from the hole. “Can somepony gimme a hoof?” Her neck stretched slightly, as if it were made of rubber.

Celestia’s horn glowed, and a golden aura surrounded the mailmare’s rump, as if it were radiating energy. The hole tugged at the grey mare, as if it were reluctant to release its new friend, then, like a cork from a wine bottle, the pegasus popped out, tumbling head over flank and landing on her back.

The wall-eyed mare picked herself up.“Gee, Thanks Ms. ‘lestia!” The wall-eyed mare brushed some dirt out of her mane. “Wait, My hat!” She patted around here frantically “Has anypony seen my hat!”

Before Celestia could help, a blue mailmare’s cap shot out of the hole, conking the pegasus on the back of the head. A rather irate gopher popped its head over the rim and shook a tiny fist, jabbering something in its chattering gopher tongue.

“Oh, there it is!” The mailmare shook some dirt off of the cap and plopped it back on her head. “Thanks, Mr. Gopher!”

The rodent made a rather rude gesture, then dived back into the hole.

“Are you alright, Ditzy?” Celestia brushed a bit of dirt off of the mare’s uniform.

“Oh, I’m ok. My noggin’s taken harder hits than that.” She chuckled. “‘Gonna take more than a little fall to hurt me.”

Celestia smiled. Nothing could keep that mare down for long.

Ditzy’s eyes widened. She patted herself. "Oh no, my mailbag!” the anxious mailmare searched around frantically. “Where’s my mailbag?”

A khaki mailbag popped out of the hole, followed by another rude gesture by the gopher.Ditzy ruffled through the mailbag, then breathed a sigh of relief “whew, nothin’s missin’” She slung the bag over her shoulder. “So, How ‘ya been Ms. ‘lestia?”

“Oh, same ol’ same ol’.” Celestia smiled. “Yourself?”

“Just deliverin’ the mail. Same as always! What about my little muffin? How’s she doin’ in school?”

“Oh, little Dinky is doing fine!” Celestia beamed. “She always turns in her assignments on time, she’s always asking questions... And she’s never been late once. Though she does tend to daydream during long lessons.”

Ditzy smiled. “That’s my Dinky. She’s a regular block off the ol’ chip.”

“Don’t you mean chip off the old block?”

“Right, what did I say?” Ditzy pumped her wings. “Well, I gotta go! That ol’ mail’s not gonna deliver itself!”

“Very well. Nice talking to you, Ditzy.”

“You too, Ms. ‘lestia!”

Celestia turned around.

“Wait, I almost forgot.”

Celestia turned back around. “What is it?”

The pegasus rummaged through her mail sack and pulled out a small brown parcel. “This just arrived!” She held out a clipboard. “Sign here, please.”

Celestia scribbled her name on the clipboard.

“Thanks!” Ditzy pressed the parcel into Celestia hoof. “See ya!” With that, she flew off like a somewhat klutzy rocket.

“I wonder what this could be?” Celestia checked the return address.

From: Ten Karat Jewelers,
Canterlot

Could it be? Celestia ripped off the paper, revealing a small, velvet jewelry case.

“Yes, finally!” She cracked open the case just a little. Perfect! It was just the way she’d ordered it.

Somepony is going to be very happy tonight.

Something tapped Celestia on the shoulder.

“Your Highness? Your Highness?”

--

Celestia snapped out of her trance. The Ponyville Farmers Market dissolved, then reformed into the shape of her quarters. One of the royal handmaidens stood at the doorway.

“Your highness, are you feeling well?”

“I’m fine, Featherduster. Just fine.” Celestia shook her head. “Is something wrong?”

“The Royal Stylists have arrived to prepare you for the Banquet.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow “A banquet?”

“Yes, the Jet Set Charity Banquet. It begins in three hours.”

Celestia gave a silent groan. “Very well, let us-”

Before she could finish, the an army of stylists flooded into the room and set upon her like a horde of diamond dogs. For the next hour, every inch of her was combed, brushed, plucked, painted, braided, and snipped. All the while, Celestia grinned and bore it.

After what seemed like an eternity, the stylists finally stopped. Featherduster pulled over a full-length mirror. “What do you think, Your Majesty?”

I think I look like a Chineigh doll. The alicorn’s flowing mane was curled and shaped into an overelaborate beehive, strung through and through with enough jewels to rival a dragon hoard. Her face looked as though a blind artist had mistaken it for a canvas, with ruby red lipstick, circles of and intricate swirls of blue and gold facepaint.

“Well, Your Highness?”

“I think... I think it looks amazing.” Celestia said through clenched teeth.

Two of the Princesses’ Elite Day Guards appeared by the door in their elaborate ceremonial armor. Though their faces remained stoic, the alicorn could tell that they were enjoying this about as much as she was.

“Your Highness,” The guards clenched their right forelegs to their chests. “The royal carriage awaits.”

“Very well.” With that, Celestia trotted towards the royal carriage.

As the carriage took to the air, a cheerful, bubbly voice emerged from her subconscious.
Cheer up, Celestia! It said in its happy, carefree voice. Maybe it’ll actually be kind of fun!

-

Six hours later, the carriage touched down in front of the Castle. Celestia trotted out.

Well, I stand corrected. The voice said before dissolving back into Celestia’s subconscious.
The Solar monarch dragged herself down the hallway to the royal bath. Luna trotted by, munching noisily on a sandwich.

“Good evening, sister. Did you enjoy the…”

The look on Celestia face told her everything.

“‘Twas that awful?”

Celestia snorted. “I just spent the past six hours with a mob of overdressed, pompous gasbags crowding around me as if they were starving and I was a head of lettuce. The main course was some kind of baked root that tasted like moldy cheese mixed with battery acid, and the host never missed an opportunity to talk about himself!”

“Oh…” Luna took a bite of sandwich. “At least...it was for a good cause.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Jet Set wouldn’t spit on a homeless pony if they were on fire. The whole banquet was just an excuse for him to show off to the princess how ‘generous’ he was.”

Celestia started untangling the giant beehive that was her mane.

“Luna?”

The night princess finished her sandwich. “Yes, Sister?”

“Do you ever wish that, I don’t know, we’d been born as normal ponies?”

“On occasion” Luna said. “There are times when I dream of being a humble pegasus. Perhaps a weather pony for one of the smaller settlements. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Celestia pried off one of her golden shoes. “No reason at all.”

“Are you certain? You sound as though something is troubling you.”

“Really, Luna, it’s nothing. I was just curious.” She untied the beehive, picking out gems like bits of dirt. “ Anyway, right now all I want is a hot bath and a really good night’s sleep.”

“Very well.” Luna turned around. “I’m afraid that the Night Court will be starting shortly. Goodnight, dear sister.”

“Goodnight, Luna.”

Celestia started down the hall.

“Celestia?”

The alicorn stopped. “Yes, Luna?”

“If there is something wrong, just remember that I will be here for you, no matter what.”

Celestia smiled. “Thank you, Luna.” One couldn’t ask for a better sister.

With that, Celestia made a beeline for the Royal Baths. She all but tore open the massive doors,quickly washed off the layers of makeup, picked off her regalia, and dove into the heated bathwater. The moment her body hit the warm spring water, Celestia seemed to melt. All the tension, all the misery of the banquet just dissolved away like a sugar cube in hot tea.

Ahhhh… Celestia sighed. She closed her eyes. As she relaxed,her mind broke free from its leash and started wandering again...

“Honey? honey, I’m home!”

Celestia walked through the front door of her humble cottage.

“Honey, honey are you home?” No response.

Odd. I thought she’d be back by now.Celestia shrugged. Guess she still has some work to do. This wasn’t the first time she’d been home a little later than usual.

The unicorn plopped her grocery bag on the kitchen table and neatly shelved the groceries in the cottage’s ancient icebox. Once the foodstuffs were safely tucked away, she trotted over to her favorite sofa and plopped herself onto it.

Celestia took a deep breath. She detected the scents of old wood, sawdust, and flowers from the various vases scattered around the living room. The smell of the Home.

It’s so good to be back.

By the standards of her old ancestral mansion back in Canterlot, her humble cottage was a shack. Only one bedroom, a tiny kitchen, and a living room seemingly tacked on as an afterthought. There were closets at the mansion that were larger than this.

But that’d just been a house. This, this was a home.

Celestia’s ears perked up. Somepony was coming down the walkway. She could hear hooves crunching on the gravel walkway. Hoofsteps she knew very well.
Feeling rather cheeky, Celestia tiptoed across the room and hid behind a corner chair.The scuffed oak door swung open. “Celestia. I’m home!”

Celestia held a hoof over her mouth, trying to stifle a giggle. Nothing for a few seconds. “Celly?” The hoofsteps slowly grew closer. “Celestia where are-”

The time was right. Boo!” Celestia jumped out, her horn glowing.

A lavender unicorn reared up on her hind legs with a loud whinny. “Celestia!” The unicorn’s cheeks flushed red. “You know I hate that!”

Celestia chuckled. “Sorry, Twilight. Couldn’t resist.”

Twilight Sparkle, town librarian smiled. “Aww, I can’t stay mad at you.” She gave her marefriend a peck on the cheek.

“So, how was your day, honey?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Ugh, you wouldn’t believe how my day went…”

Thus, the two marefriends began the ritual exchange of complaints, groans, and casual remarks about each other’s coworkers. It was a tradition passed down from countless generations of couples and friends alike- as old as the pony race itself.

Once the ritual was concluded, Celestia headed towards the kitchen. “Well, I best get started on dinner. That salad isn’t going to toss itself.”

“No, let me.” Twilight pushed her white counterpart gently out of the way. “You made dinner last night.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “If you insist.” That was her marefriend. Always the workaholic.

Dinner was uneventful. Over salad, bread, and milk, the two mares discussed the usual dinnertime topics. Like an overcaffeinated changeling, the conversation refused to stay in one shape. It started with a critique of the Ponyville weather team, before morphing into a conversation about Mayor Mare’s proposed tax cuts, then, somehow, shifted into a discussion of popular literature.

“Well, if you want my opinion, Oats of Wrath is Steinbuck’s seminal classic.”

Oh, everypony says that.” Twilight chewed on a bread crust. “Sure, it’s a good read and all, but true connoisseurs know that East of Dream Valley is the stallion’s finest work.”

“Shows what you know about literature.” Celestia playfully stuck out her tongue. “You wouldn’t know a good story if it jumped off the shelf and started doing the Pony Pokey!”

The two mares stared at each other, then broke into laughter.

Celestia sensed that the time was right. The stars had aligned. The portents were promising.

“By the way,” Celestia pulled her saddlebag over to the table. “I have something for you.”

Twilight held out a hoof. “No wait don’t tell me!” She rubbed her chin. “It’s a book!”

Celestia chuckled. “Nope. Even better.” She levitated the little velvet box out of her saddlebag and popped it open. Inside was a white gold horn ring, topped with an amethyst cut into the shape of Twilight’s cutie mark.

Twilight gasped. Her pupils shrank to pinpricks. “Celestia...”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Tears welled in the corners of Celestia’s eyes. “Will you marry me?”

The unicorn just sat there, barely breathing, her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

I knew it! Celestia bucked herself mentally. I knew I should have waited a little longer but noooo I had to--”

Her train of thought was derailed by a pair of soft, purple lips being pressed against her own. Something like a lightning bolt surged through her system and she returned the kiss, caressing her beloved with her forelegs.

At that moment, time seemed to freeze solid. The entire universe contracted until all there was was the table, Celestia, and Twilight. If she could, Celestia would hold her beloved like this ‘till the sun went cold.

“Your Highness?”

Celestia awoke from her daydream to see a Royal Guard standing by the door.

“Yes?” She said, trying to conceal her irritation.

“Terribly sorry to disturb you, your highness, but the the Minister of Defense has a few proposals he’d-”

Before he could finish, the hapless guard was plucked off the floor and carried out of the royal baths. The doors to the baths slammed shut and a forcefield enveloped the entire room in a golden sphere of magic. If somepony wanted to disturb her now, they’d need to drag a cannon out of the armory.

Finally at peace, Celestia returned to her private little universe. Tomorrow, she would be Princess Celestia, Princess of the Day and Co-Ruler of Equestria.

Right now, she was just Ms. Celestia.

Author's Note

Well, what do you think?