Derpy Love Collab Promptsby AuthorGenesisChaptersFishingMailmareOopsLonelinessMuffinsFishingDerpy trotted along her mail route, humming a cheerful sounding tune, as she waved to ponies, greeting them with a cheerful, “hello.” The longest part of her job as Ponyville’s resident mailmare, was having to read the mailing address, as ponies often saw that she took the longest time to look at the address. The cramming into the courier container, and retrieval of outbound mail only took a matter of moments. The clouds above was a dark charcoal color, as a chilling breeze blew across the land. Her coat stood on end, as the wind blew over her body, and she ruffled her feathers, as she briefly looked skyward, taking note of the weather condition above. “Hey Derpy!” Rainbow Dash greeted as she hovered near Derpy. Her mane looked extra-disheveled today, though her wings looked to have been preened to be in excellent condition. “Hiya, Rainbow Dash,” Derpy responded with a smile, “lovely weather we’re having aren’t we?” Rainbow Dash looked skyward at the handiwork of her and all of her other teammates on the local weather team and raised an eyebrow. “Uh, if you say so. You should probably finish up as quickly as you can, because it’s gonna snow later sometime this evening. Oh, and I heard about them giving you more mail routes to deliver to. I just wanted to say, congratulations!” “Thanks. And thank you for the heads up about the weather! I should get moving if I want to be done before it’s time to pick up Dinky.” “Hey, do you want me to pick Dinky up if you aren’t finished with your work by the time it’s time to pick Dinky up?” “I don’t want to trouble you.” Derpy scuffed her right forehoof against the ground, as her brow creased and her nose scrunched as she gave Rainbow Dash a hesitant look. “Hey, us ponies got to stick together, right?” “Not to sound ungrateful, but you’ve never bothered to volunteer to watch over my daughter before.” Rainbow Dash groaned, and her right forehoof dragged down the front of her face, the skin stretching slightly under the hoof’s friction before it returned to its normal elasticity. “Okay, but I don’t want you telling just anypony, alright?” “Okay.” “Alright, so last night I had a nightmare. The me in my dreams had been experiencing vomiting, dizziness, and I felt warmest after I woke up. So the dream me went to Ponyville Hospital to get a checkup, and they did some tests, and announced that I was pregnant! My friends stuck with me for the first few months, but gradually they started to hang out with me less and less, until I just didn’t see them anymore. I felt alone and sad, like it was just me against the whole world. And seeing the care and attention that the Cake’s foals demand, I can see that foal-rearing isn’t easy. It’s harder when you’re a single parent and you’re trying to rear a foal. My nightmare got me thinking that I’d have wanted somepony to lend a helping hoof to me, if I were to ever have to travel down that road. So, I thought I’d just extend the offer to you, because I’d want it done for me, if I ever ended up a single parent,” Rainbow Dash explained. “I see.” Derpy pulled out a small notepad, and wrote a small note to Dinky. My beloved Muffin, If Rainbow Dash has given you this note, it means that I’m still working and couldn’t finish in time to pick you up. Be good for Rainbow Dash, until I finish with work and can pick you up. With all my love, your mommy Derpy folded the paper until it was about a square hoof in size. She passed it over to Rainbow Dash, who slipped it into the collar part of her weatherpony uniform. “That’s a note to give to Dinky, if I don’t get finished in time. Rip it up, if I find you and have finished with work before it’s time to pick Dinky up.” “Alright. Well, I’m going to get going. The less time I take up of your time, the sooner you can get finished with work. Later Derpy,” Rainbow Dash called, zooming off in the direction of the Golden Oaks Library. “Bye, Rainbow Dash,” Derpy called to the already distant pegasus. * * * {Fishing} * * * Derpy entered her home, shaking what snow that had coated her grey coat and her light straw-blonde mane. It was already as dark as the inside of an underground cave outside. She entered her living room to find Dinky covered with a faded pale yellow quilt, sleeping soundly beside Rainbow Dash, who was reading a book titled Merry Matcher: Dragon Hatcher. “Wow! You sure are home late! Was everything all right?” Rainbow Dash inquired while keeping her volume low. “Yeah … It’s just taking so long, since I’m still not familiar with the additional routes that the Ponyville Mail Office gave me. It ought to go faster once I’m more familiar with my new route and get to know the ponies that live there. Thanks for watching her Rainbow Dash.” She went upstairs, rummaging and pulling out a suitcase, where she stored what bits that she didn’t spend. She grabbed a small bag of 15 bits and placed them in the bag, drawing the drawstring closed before going back downstairs. “Here.” She gently placed in Rainbow Dash’s lap the small sack of bits. “What’s this?” “It’s for watching Dinky while I was away.” “I don’t want to accept this.” “Why not?” “Because, friends don’t do things expecting to be paid for every little nice thing that they do for their friends!” Rainbow harshly whispered. “But-” “I’m not taking your bits, Derpy.” “What? Are you going to out-generous the Bearer of the Element of Generosity?” Derpy harshly whispered back. “No, but like I said before, us ponies need to stick together. Besides ponies should be able to do nice things for other ponies without having to worry about having to pay ponies that do things out of the goodness of their hearts, for the nice thing that was done to them.” Derpy’s eyes held two crystalline orbs of tears at the corner of her eyes, her bottom lip trembling, as she swallowed, before wrapping Rainbow Dash into a hug. The surprised Rainbow Dash was frozen briefly, before she wrapped her forehoof around Derpy’s back, and patting the other mare’s back. Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously, as moments like these went totally against her image as the most radical, awesome, and cool pegasus in Equestria. Derpy ended the hug, smiling, even though her eyes looked red and puffy. “It’s really late, Rainbow Dash. I have a bed in the guest room, if you want to spend the night here. I’m going to put Dinky to bed, and then I’m going to head to bed myself. Do feel free to sleep in the guest room if you decide to stay.” “Okay, Derpy. I’m feeling a bit tired myself, so I-” Rainbow Dash yawned, blinking her eyes sleepily, and smacking her lips before resuming where she had left off before she yawned. “-I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” Derpy nodded, before nuzzling her sleeping daughter onto her back, and trotting up the stairs to the door that had a wooden plaque cut in the shape of a unicorn silhouette with a steeple-style conical hennin towards the back of the head’s silhouette. Thin ribbons of pink and purple fabric dropped down from their attachment at the top of the hennin. Dinky’s name was spelled out in gem appliqués of many different colors; rubies, citrines, and tanzanite, just to name a few. Derpy’s right wing curled around the doorknob, as she twisted the knob, and pushed, opening the door to enter Dinky’s room. Derpy peeled back the covers, with their sunflower design on them and tucked her daughter into bed. She placed Dinky’s favorite stuffed teddy bear, who Dinky had named Mr. Snuggles, into the hooves of her little filly and smiled as the sleeping filly smiled in her sleep and snuggled closer to Mr. Snuggles. Mr. Snuggles had honey-golden brown short velveteen fur. Mr. Snuggles paws, muzzle and ears were a light creamy color, in a similar velveteen ‘fur.’ His eyes were cornflower blue, with flecks of aqua blue dividing the uniformity of the cornflower blue iris. He also had a red, green and light honey-brown plaid bow under his neck, attached to a collar of the same fabric. He had a black stitched anchor style mouth, which gave it an endearing smile. Derpy brushed the bangs of her daughter back and kissed her daughter on the forehead, opening the curtains to let the light of Luna’s moon in, so that her daughter wouldn’t be afraid of the dark. “Sleep well, my beloved daughter.” * * * {Fishing} * * * “Well, since I don’t have to work today, is there anything you’d like to do today Muffin?” Derpy asked, as she flipped another pancake onto the growing pile of hot, sweet, and fluffy goodness and poured more batter into the pan, starting another pancake. “I want to go to Equestrian Princess amusement park!” Dinky exclaimed excitedly, devouring the pancake on her plate like she had not eaten for a month, bits of pancake dough and maple syrup coating the sides of her diminutive muzzle. “Oh, I don’t know Muffin,” Derpy replied, her voice sounding doubtful. “Oh please Mommy? Please, please, please!?” Dinky eyes grew wide, as she looked up at her mother, tears in the corner of her eyes and her bottom lip quivering, and her ears flattened against her head. Derpy chuckled, shaking her head at her daughter’s attempt to get her mommy to cave in. “That’s not going to work on me, Muffin, but we shall see. But first, breakfast!” * * * {Fishing} * * * “Mommy, mommy! Look they have a cute kitty cat in that crane game! Get it for me, please?” “Okay, but after this we have to go home.” “Okay!” Derpy chuckled, watching her filly rear up onto her rear legs, and pressing her forehooves and muzzle against the glass, as she fished around for the few bits she still had, after a fun day of riding rollercoasters, whirlygigs and the rocket ferris wheel. It was like a ferris wheel, except that the wheel spun really fast, and could even tilt to spin parallel with the ground! Derpy inserted the bit into the coin and started maneuvering the claw to get the cute little stuffed kitty Dinky asked her to get. * * * {Fishing} * * * “I’m sorry Dinky. I’m all out of bits.” Derpy looked at her filly somberly, feeling bad that she hadn’t won a single thing from the crane game, much less the stuffed kitty Dinky had wanted. “You want that cute kitty plush in that crane game, right?” A familiar voice giggled. “Pinkie!” Dinky cried, immediately cheered up by the presences of Ponyville’s pink party pony. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that,” Derpy protested. “Nonsense! If I can possibly make a pony happy, then as I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, lives, I shall do everything in my power to spread cheer, joy and laughter to as many ponies as I can!” Pinkie raised her hoof upward, as though she was taking a sacred oath. “They don’t call me the Joyful Joystick Jockey for nothing!” Pinkie giggled. Dinky and Derpy watched in fascination as with each bit that went into the crane game, a kitty plush was dropped into the prize slot, with Pinkie placing the plush into a large rucksack. Ten bits had gone into the machine and ten kitty plushes had come out of the machine. Pinkie grinned, hoofing a kitty plush over to Dinky. “See you in Ponyville!” Pinkie called out, before leaving a pink puffy cloud, the prolific party pony nowhere to be seen. * * * {Fishing} * * * “Did you have fun today, Muffin?” “Uh-huh! I had fun because I was with you, Mommy!” Derpy felt her eyes grow wet, her mouth pulling tight into a big smile, her cheeks enclosing her grin, as she nuzzled her daughter affectionately, and placed Mr. Snuggles next to her daughter before tucking Dinky and Mr. Snuggles into bed. “Goodnight Dinky. I love you.” “—Love you, Mommy.” Dinky sleepily murmured, before Derpy closed the door behind her. Author's Note So much fishing, and yet no fish were caught in this story! And this is why I love word play. MailmareDerpy hummed in the shower, cleaning herself up for her interview later that morning. The calendar had Post Office Interview at 9:00 A.M. circled in a bright red highlighter marker. “Ooh, I really hope they’ll hire me. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t get this job. I certainly don’t want the Equestrian Social Services branch in Ponyville to decide that I’m incapable of caring for my precious Muffin.” Derpy muttered to herself, as she relished in the hot water pelting her body, the heat seeping through her pelt, relaxing her taut muscles somewhat. She lathered her loofah with her favorite scented Head and Hocks shampoo. Rainy Evergreen Forest, it actually smelled like a wet evergreen forest would smell after a rain, but without the stickiness of the sap, prickliness of the needles, or the dangers of being in a forest in a storm. She then soaped up her mane and tail, lathering both of them, until they felt like the softest and smoothest spun gold silk. She dried her mane, tail and coat off, and briefly contemplated a breakfast of muffins. The derped-eye mare sighed, opting to not eat breakfast, considering that if she didn’t get this job, she’d have to eat less, just so that Dinky wouldn’t go hungry. “I’m too nervous to be hungry.” She rationalized. She brushed her teeth with Colgate’s Fresh Mint toothpaste, and washed the foamy cleanser out of her mouth. She then swirled some of Barnyard Bargain’s brand mint flavored mouthwash, before going to her bedroom to don on some interview clothes. She selected a smart looking creamy colored blouse, fumbling a few times with the buttons, before getting them to all thread through their respective holes, then she selected a cinnamon reddish-brown overcoat, wriggling her wings through the holes needed for pegasi clothing and buttoning the overcoat in the front. She looked at herself in the mirror, trying to decide if there was anything else she might want to do before she head out for her interview. She pinned back the unruly bangs of her mane with a cherry blossom decaled hair clip, three small blossoms interspaced evenly on the hairclip, the petals almost hiding the metallic base they were attatched to. “Alright, time to go.” Derpy pep talked to herself, a resolved and determined glint in her eyes. {Later, towards the end of the interview} Parcel Post, looked over her application for employment, as he dispassionately continued. “And finally Miss Hooves; why should we hire you as a mail pony for Ponyville Post Office?” “Well, I really enjoy interacting with other ponies and I feel that their experience with the Post Office and its mail ponies ought to be a positive and pleasant experience. Like getting to see a friend or a good neighbor.” “I’ve talked with your previous employers and while they spoke well of your work ethics, I’m informed that you have a concerning amount of mishaps and accidents. The ponies of Ponyville’s Post Office, frequently deliver fragile mail. It’s really concerning for me as a prospective employer.” Derpy closed her eyes, awaiting a rejection for her application for employment. The silence seemed to last for minutes, hours, weeks even, though it really had been only several minutes. “But well, just because you’re clumsy, I don’t see anything else that could be problematic in hiring you. You’re medical results indicated that you weren’t taking illegal substances, and the physical tests shows a pony at the peak of her health. So let me be the first to welcome you to the team, Miss Derpy Hooves.” . Derpy woodenly shook the elderly stallion’s hoof, still disbelieving that she had an actual job! “Thank you! Thank you so much!” “Of course, Miss Hooves. You will arrive here at six sharp to begin your route. And I think you should deliver the parcels separately from the paper mail.” “Yes Sir!” Derpy agreed, just grateful to even have a job, not knowing the trials and tribulations which lay ahead of her. {The next day} “Okay, here is a map with your route highlighted. Once you’re finished with delivering the paper mail, come back for the parcels and deliver them too.” Parcel Post instructed, settling a pair of mailbags over her flanks. “Of course! You can count on me, Mister Post, Sir!” Derpy saluted. “Just Parcel is fine, Miss Hooves. Also, I’ve never served in the Equestrian Guards, so there’s no need to salute me.” “Okay.” She trotted down, as she started on her new mail route.” {Later, about midafternoon} Derpy was struggling to help move some parcels that a Mister Filthy Rich had ordered, and unable to right the cart in time, the parcels slipped out of the back of the delivery wagon. Cries of pain and agony could be heard from Twilight Sparkle, as she was hit with a flowerpot, then an anvil, then a cart full of haybales and finally an upright piano. Derpy quickly landed the cart. “Quick, go to the hospital, and tell them to bring the emergency wagon!” She informed the other pegasus mare, Bon Voyage, who wasted no time flying as quickly to the hospital as she could. Derpy, meanwhile moved to remove the debris from the poor unfortunate pony beneath. The wrecked piano wasn’t too difficult for the mare to move, nor were the cart or haybales. She ended up using a leverage with a rock and a plank of wood to topple the anvil from off of Miss Twilight. She swept aside the broken pottery and dirt from atop Twilight’s mane, the unconscious mare lying in a perfect indent of her body. “Ooh, where are those EMTs? Shouldn’t they be here by now?” Just as she finished saying this, the medical wagon showed up, a pair of EMT pegasi unhitching themselves from the emergency cart. “What happened?” Cosmic, a pegasus stallion inquired. “We were moving some parcels for delivery to Mister Filthy Rich, when the wagon became unstable, and the parcels hit Miss Twilight! She was hit with a flowerpot first, then an anvil, then a cart full of haybales, and finally an upright piano!” “Hoo boy. Alright Great Scott! Let’s get her on the stretcher, and to Ponyville Hospital A.S.A.P!” Cosmic cried. “Yes!” Great Scott replied, before opening the back of the wagon and pulling out a stretcher. “Aright, let’s just slide it under her, moving from the back to her front.” Cosmic instructed. “You just want to get a glimpse of her plot.” Great Scott teased. “... .” Cosmic deadpanned. “Yes, I like to fuck recently deceased mare plots. No, you moron, I’m trying to save her life!” “Luna’s teats, sorry!” Great Scott apologized, regretting his attempt at humor. The two EMTs slid the stretcher beneath Twilight and gently loaded her onto the emergency wagon. One of them rotating what looked like pole clamps, to ensure that the stretcher didn’t move. Then he also reharnessed himself to the wagon, and soon they were on their way to the hospital. “I should let Spike know and inform Twilight’s closest friends.” Derpy muttered, downcast that her mishap had hurt a nice pony, well any pony for that matter. Derpy did like how Twilight was always quick to suggest a story book that was appropriate to Dinky’s reading level. {Later} It was nearly sundown when Derpy had finished her parcel deliveries, delayed briefly due to informing Spike, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity that Twilight had been sent to the hospital. Then she came home, finding Dinky doing her homework, and she put together a jiffy meal of sandwiches and Au Gratin flavored hay chips. “Dinner’s ready, Muffin!” “Okay Mommy!” Dinky replied, putting her homework materials back into her saddlebags. Noticing her mother’s dejected appearance, she asked. “What’s wrong Mommy?” “I hurt a pony today. I didn’t mean to, but it still happened.” Derpy replied, after taking a bite from her hay bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. “Did that pony die?” Dinky asked worriedly. “I- I don’t know yet, Muffin.” Derpy replied. “I’m going to go to the hospital to visit her after supper. Do you mind coming with me, Dinky?” “No. I hope she feels better soon.” Dinky replied. {Later at the Hospital} “You! How dare you show your face around here after what you did to Twilight!” Rainbow Dash roared, getting up in Derpy’s face, and pressing her forehead against Derpy’s in a show of aggression. “I never intended to hurt her! Please, believe me. The last thing I wanted was for anypony to get hurt!” Derpy cried, tears starting to stream down her muzzle. “Oh sure. An apology will make it all better!” Rainbow Dash cried angrily. “Hush now, Rainbow Dash! Can’t you see that she feels terrible enough as it is?” Rarity admonished, her magic enveloping the brash pegasus and placing her a few hooflengths away. “Aren’t you upset that Twilight’s hurt because of her?” Rainbow argued. “No, because it was an accident, Rainbow Dash. I’m sad that Twilight was hurt, and I do hope that Derpy will have learned her limits and not try to move more than she is able. But it was an honest mistake. Kind of like when you damage windows and houses, because you can’t stick a landing. We know you don’t mean to do it on purpose, darling. The scale might be larger on this, or maybe it’s more personal because it’s happening to a friend, but that doesn’t change that they were unintended accidents.” “You just had to bring that up, didn’t you?” Rainbow Dash pouted, crossing her forelegs and turning her back to Rarity. “I’m just making a point Rainbow Dash. Nopony’s perfect. Ponies make mistakes. It’s important that we learn to forgive each other when we messed up. Derpy messed up, but she didn’t have malicious intents when the accident happened.” Rarity explained to her rainbow-maned friend. “Don’t you care that Twilight’s hurt?” Rainbow Dash groused. “I do, darling. I’m sorry that she’s hurt. But I’m not going to make a pony that already feels terrible about hurting our friend feel even worse by holding a grudge against her.” Rarity reasoned. “Ugh! Fine. I’m sorry for making you feel bad, Derpy.” “I forgive you, Rainbow Dash. Forgive me for hurting Twilight.” Derpy hung her head before Rainbow Dash, in a gesture of remorse and regret. “Cheer up, Mommy!” Dinky nuzzled her mother, trying to make her feel better.” “Thanks Dinky.” She smiled gently, before becoming serious once again. She looked to Applejack. “Have you heard any news? Will she be alright?” Applejack shifted, looking uncomfortable. “The doctors want to keep here for awhile, because from their examination, she’s suffering from severe traumatic brain injuries.” Fluttershy spoke up, seeing that Applejack didn’t feel too comfortable about telling Derpy about the harm she’d caused to Twilight. “Oh no.” Derpy covered her mouth with both of her forehooves, her eyes widening in shock. “You should totally stay with us! We can sleep here at the hospital and throw Twilight a ‘get well soon’ party!” Pinkie cheered. “Would you girls mind if I stayed with you?” The other five mares shaking their heads. “No.” They replied, nearly simultaneously. Derpy, feeling exhausted, reclined in one of the hospital chairs, while Dinky curled up in her forelegs, and it wasn’t too long before a group of mares joined them in slumber. Waiting with hope that their friend would make a full recovery. OopsThe familiar sight of Ponyville’s local mailmare could be seen humming happily as her wing opened the lid on her mailbag, and her muzzle briefly vanished into the sack’s depths, as she removed the mail for the ponies in the house before whose mailbox she stood. Her other wing pulled open the mailbox’s door, as she stuffed the mail within the container. And finally she turned the flag down, having picked up what outgoing mail had been retrieved from the mailbox, prior to her delivering their inbound mail. Parcel Post, her boss, had given her an unusual way of delivering her mail. Because instead of delivering parcels along with paper mail, he had her deliver all of her paper mail first before coming back to deliver the parcels. “I don’t get it.” Derpy muttered. “It just seems so incredibly inefficient and time-consuming to make two trips on one delivery route, instead of one trip. I could get done so much earlier if he’d just let me take parcels with the paper mail.” She waved to Octavia Melody, who had briefly paused from watering a lovely plot of Yellow Tulips, Passion flowers and Orange Blossoms to wave to her. “Maybe I should talk with him about it after work.” Much of her shift passed without any mishaps or anything really notable happening. Well, aside from one event that brightened her day. Derpy smiled, as she recalled the memory. {Earlier that day} ”Hiya Derpy!” Pinkie called cheerfully from Pokey Oaks Memorial Park, a picnic basket jostled unmercifully upon the bounding pink pony’s back. ”Hi Pinkie, are you going on a picnic?” ”Of course! The girls are bringing their favorite picnic treats, and I’m bringing my favorite Triple Fudge Caramel Delights. I had a feeling that I might run into you, and I packed a muffin just for you! You like Lemon Poppy, right?” Derpy began salivating just at the mention of a Sugarcube Corner muffin. They weren’t as good as hers, but muffin making was a serious business. She couldn’t lower her opinion of the ponies that worked there, for making a plethora of pastries and baked goods. ”Do I ever! My love for muffins is unmatched!” Pinkie giggled, and set the picnic basket on the ground before sticking her muzzle into the basket, before pulling out a paper plate with the muffin placed on it. Derpy reverently took the plate on her right hoof, as her large golden eyes staring at the delectable treat before her eyes, and she took a large whiff, smelling the faint citrusy aroma of the lemon juice that had been used. Her smile grew larger, before she took a dainty bite of the tantalising pastry, rolling the puffy golden muffin bit around on her tongue, as she savored the tart lemony flavor, but relishing the crunch the poppy seed provided. ”Mmm! ‘Anks ‘Inkie!” Pinkie giggled, ecstatic that her friend was enjoying her treat so much. ”You’re welcome, silly filly! See you later Derpy!” Pinkie closed her picnic basket lid, before returning it to its former position on her back, as Pinkie merrily bounded off in the direction of the park, leaving Derpy to blissfully savor her muffiny delight. {Back in the present} Derpy entered the post office though the employees only entrance and went directly to her boss’ office. “Mister Parcel, Sir?” Derpy asked, her voice low, both in volume and her vocal range. “What is it Derpy?” The elderly yellow-brown stallion asked, not even peering over his bifocals, as he continued to scan, sign and stamp the paperwork that constantly littered his desk. “Well, it’s just, I’d like to deliver the parcels with the paper mail, sir. The current arrangement takes twice as long, and doubles the distance that I’d otherwise travel.” “I’m just trying to make things less awkward, heavy and reduce the likelihood of parcels getting damaged. If you think you can handle both, then by all means. But if I get a complaint from anypony about you damaging the contents of their parcel, then we go back to the current arrangement.” “Yes Sir!” Derpy agreed, her volume increased and her voice higher on her vocal range, expressing her excitement. {The next day} It was near the end of her shift, and she only had about a quarter remaining of the mail and parcels she had started with, when she placed a package marked fragile on her back, as she trotted to the house to deliver the parcel. Pipsqueak, running from Snips, Snails, and Featherweight; all wearing bandanas around their heads collided with her, and Derpy could only watch in horror, as she heard the tinkling cacophony of the contents of the parcel being broken. “Oops. I’m sorry Miss Derpy.” Derpy didn’t respond, tears welling up in her eyes, as a strangled sob sounded from the distraught mailmare. Pipsqueak, sad and not knowing how he could make things better ran off, the other colts hot on his hocks. Derpy felt a hoof draw her into a hug, as she peered through watery eyes and seeing the light grey coat of Rarity, her eyes expressive with sympathy and compassion, her mulberry colored mane framing her face in stylish curls. “I saw the whole thing Darling. It wasn’t your fault.” “T-that won’t change the fact that I’ll have to go back to delivering the parcels and paper mail separately once Mister Rich learns that his parcel got damaged and that I was the mail pony responsible for the delivery.” Derpy sobbed, her tears matting Rarity’s coat. “I’ll go with you for the rest of your route, and we can explain what happened to your boss.” “O-okay.” Derpy replied, still looking dejected. She knocked on the door, placing the parcel on the ground. When nopony answered, she left the package and continued with the remainder of her route, and though she didn’t show it, she was immensely grateful for Rarity’s company. {After work} “—And that’s why we have you deliver the parcels separately!” Parcel scolded the mailmare, whose eyes began to issue tears afresh. “It wasn’t her fault, Mister Parcel. It was just a freak accident.” Rarity attempted to placate the enraged elderly stallion. “A freak accident that’s going to come out of our insurance!” Parcel yelled in frustration. “Mister Parcel! Can’t you see that she feels terrible enough about it already!? It wasn’t even her fault! Must you make her feel worse than she already feels?” Rarity reasoned. “How she feels! How she feels! What about how I feel! Now we have to spend our insurance money to fix this mess. She was the mail pony responsible for delivering the parcel undamaged! I don’t even want to deal with you, Derpy. I’ve had to clean up too many of your messes already. Break another parcel, and you can start looking for another job.” The stallion swiveled in his chair, the high back of the chair greeting their vision, indicating that this meeting was over. Derpy let herself be herded into Rarity’s house, lying on the comfortable chaise longue as Rarity went about making dinner for her guest and herself. “Don’t worry Derpy. You’re a kind and cheerful pony, and that’s an attractive quality in a pony. I’m sure that even if you were to be fired, you can easily find another job.” Rarity tried to cheer Derpy up. A bowl of vegetable soup floated over to Derpy, who balanced it on one hoof, while using her other hoof to grasp the spoon and ladle the soup into her muzzle. “But I love delivering the mail. I love seeing the ponies on my route and greeting them, or just even watching them live their lives. I don’t want a different job!” Rarity glanced at the clock, surprised at how much time had passed. “I’d like it if you’d stay the night. Hopefully things will not seem quite as bleak with the arrival of a new day.” “Thanks Miss Rarity.” Derpy murmured. “Rarity, darling. Friends don’t let titles create distance between them.” Rarity responded. “Y-you really want to be my friend?” Derpy asked, her voice wavering slightly, as if she didn’t believe what she was hearing. “But of course, darling. I’ve only observed you from afar, but I think that from what I’ve seen, you’re not only a mare worth knowing, but to have as a friend as well.” “Thanks, Rarity.” “Think nothing of it Derpy.” Rarity smiled, levitating the empty bowls and dirty silverware down into her kitchen, placing them in the sink to be washed later. She clambered into the bed with her new friend, and let the sweet embrace of sleep grip them. LonelinessDerpy smiled, waving to the ponies she knew by face and name. Many were genuinely nice ponies, even if they didn’t spend any time with her. While she wished she could hate them for their avoidance of spending any time longer than the couple of minutes it took to be given their mail, Derpy just didn’t have it in her. “I’d probably be uncomfortable hanging with a pony who has eyes like mine.” She said sadly, moving towards the next house to continue her rounds. {Elsewhere in Ponyville} A certain pink pony party planner for Ponyville felt her body get the pony pimples, before her right foreleg twitched and her ears alternated in flattening against her head. Pinkie’s mane deflated. “Oh no! Somepony is smiling, but not really feeling it!” Pinkie wanted to go cheer that pony up, she really did, but she had the obligations and responsibilities that her job demanded of her, and it wouldn’t be right to just up an leave on the Cakes. So she continued to toil, beads of sweat rolling down her forehead and body, as she mixed, beat and rolled dough, or poured the dough into molds or cake pans. Pinkie zipping from one pastry project to the next. “Cheer up, whoever you are.” Pinkie uttered softly in a sad voice. {Later after work: Derpy} The mailmare, having finished with her deliveries returned home, dropping her mailbag at her house, hanging it upon a coat rack. Once she had done so, she turned around, trudging with her head hung low in the direction of Ponyville’s school. She found a comfortable place in the grass outside the schoolyard, and laid her head down and closed her eyes while waiting for her daughter Dinky to be released from school. Her ear twitched, as she heard the ringing of the bell, as the cacophony of excited foals greeted her ears. She smelled the comforting scent of her daughter as she felt Dinky nuzzle her. “Mommy? Is there something wrong?” Derpy smiled sadly at her daughter. “Mommy’s just feeling sad, my sweet Muffin.” “Why, Mommy?” Dinky tilted her head cutely to the side, her large eyes expressive with curiosity and incomprehension. “Don’t be sad Mommy, or you’ll make me feel sad. I might even cry!” The small light violet coated unicorn filly looked tearfully at her precious Mommy. Derpy slowly got to her hooves, her body feeling sluggish and heavy to her. Like her sadness was sapping her strength and energy. Dinky stayed near her Mommy, looking at her with worry. She wanted her mommy to cheer up, but she was too concerned about her Mommy to leave her and seek help. She opened the door for her Mommy, and walked by her side, watching her climb into bed, and sigh heavily.. Dinky tapped the side of her hoof against her head, wracking her brain for how she might help her Mommy. Then the gloomy look on the filly’s face vanished like fog before the summer sun, a look of hope replacing the gloomy sadness that had been there before. Soon the front door opened and slammed shut as Dinky went to get the smartest pony she could think of, and who was smarter than Princess Twilight? {~45 minutes later} The voice of Equestria’s newest princess drifted up the stairway and underneath the crack at the bottom of Derpy’s door. “She’s in her bedroom, right?” “Yes, Princess Twilight.” Dinky’s voice responded. A rapping sound resounded through Derpy’s door. “Derpy, can I come in? It is I, Twilight Sparkle.” A loud sigh could be heard on the other side of the door, followed by several moments of silence. “Sure.” The creaking of the door signaled the door being turned on its hinges. Twilight’s voice came much closer, as Derpy felt her bed give a little, beneath the added weight of Dinky, as her daughter laid near her Mommy, looking up at Derpy with worry in her large expressive eyes. “Why are you feeling sad, Derpy? Don’t you know you’re worrying Dinky?” “I know I’m worrying her! But I can’t help feeling how I feel.” Derpy snapped angrily at Twilight. “—I don’t believe that. I don’t think there’s anything one can’t do, if they strive for it and want it bad enough.” “Why do you care?” Derpy’s voice oozed with hurt. “Nopony wants to be friends with the pony with abnormal eyes.” “Have you ever thought about putting forth the effort to make friends? If they’re not making the first move, then shouldn’t you make the first move?” “What?” Derpy’s voice sounded incredulous. The problem wasn’t with her! The problem was with other ponies, Tartarus damn it! “Instead of waiting for something to happen, why not put forth some effort to make it happen?” “The problem isn’t with me! The problem is with those other ponies!” Derpy shouted back, angry. How dare she, how dare she imply that the fault was somehow hers. “Are you sure? Either you can stay here and wallow in your depression and sadness, or you can take your own destiny in your hoof, and make choices for your happiness. The choice, in the end, will be yours. But if you make the wrong choice, I might have to judge you unfit to continue raising Dinky, and give her to someone who will raise properly and care for her.” “Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!” Derpy yelled, her eyes glaring at Twilight, her wings spread, and her stance splayed. “—Think about what I’ve said.” Twilight replied, before closing the door behind her. A few moments later. the splintering crack could be heard, as a horseshoe impacted with the door, an enraged scream coming from Derpy’s room. Dinky curled up, making herself as small as possible, frightened as she’d never seen her Mommy this mad before. “Don’t let her take me away Mommy.” Dinky sobbed quietly. “Don’t worry Muffin. Mommy won’t let this beat her. I love you, my precious muffin.” “I love you too, Mommy.” Derpy got back onto the bed, and curled up around her daughter, before using her wing to pull the blankets over the both of them, as the sweet embrace of slumber took both mother and daughter. MuffinsIt was a lovely stormy morning in Ponyville, as bolts of lightning flashed across the sky, and some looked like they were aimed at the ground. Bolts of yellow, white and white-blue raced, as water poured from the clouds above heavily. There was so much rain falling that there were few ponies that were adventurous enough to venture outdoors for any reason. The market stalls were closed, as there would not be anypony that would want to do business in a deluge. However, ponies still needed to get their mail sent and delivered, irregardless of the weather, scheduled by the weather ponies or no. Mail ponies had specially water repelling mailbags for days such as these, when they had to be out in the rain, no matter what. One grey pegasus mailmare wore a basic light custard yellow poncho, with different fabric muffins sewn on it at irregular intervals by her little Muffin, Dinky. Sparkler had helped Dinky to waterproof the muffin decals, and even though it might not please other ponies, Derpy Hooves was inordinately proud of her beloved poncho. Though, Derpy didn’t smile as much on rainy days, since there were a lot less ponies out and about, even though she knew everypony on her route by name and face, even if she wasn’t privy to all the minutia of their lives. Still, she took satisfaction in doing her job well, and how capable she was. She’d just finished with delivering the last of her mail, when five male ponies surrounded her, not quite yet stallions, but neither colts either. Each sported a cruel smile. “So, the wall-eyed freak still lives among us. Your very existence is a mockery and shame to the entire pony race! What if what you have is contagious! Other ponies could catch your freaky eyes! Why don’t you do us all a favor and kill yourself! No pony wants you! No pony likes you.” The leader, a dark charcoal coated stallion with a silvery cropped top mane, and three diamond studs in his left ear spewed his hurtful propoganda, the others agreeing with him. “No! T-that’s not true! Ponies do like me! You’re lying!” The lead stallion hit her with his right hoof, making her see stars, and feeling her cheek start to swell. “It’s true! Rainbow Dash seemed eager enough to get rid of you, with all the damage you did to City Hall! And let’s not forget all that furniture you dropped upon Princess Twilight. You’re even a danger to yourself! Or did you forget the lightning that hit you when you were jumping up and down on a thundercloud!?” The leader sneered, and spat in her face. “I’m surprised that your daughter is even alive, and certainly that she isn’t crippled in some way!” Some distance away, a light violet unicorn filly saw what was happening and dashed off to the Golden Oaks Library. {10 minutes later} “Hey! Get away from her!” Applejack cried, bucking the leader in his sides, so that everypony assembled could hear the sickening crack as his ribs could not withstand the force of her buck. The leader hobbled away, his lackeys following to make sure that he made it into Ponyville Hospital. “Are you alright darling?” Rarity inquired, her eyes roaming over Derpy’s poncho. “Mommy!” Dinky cried, tearfully nuzzing her mother, and seeing the ugly purple bruise on her cheek. “Oh goodness. We should really get some ice on your cheek. Come with me to my cottage, and I’ll get some ice for your cheek.” Fluttershy gently said, escorting the beaten mailmare to her cottage. {Later at Fluttershy’s Cottage} Derpy gasped out in pain, as the biting cold of the ice, wrapped in a hoofkerchief was placed upon her cheek by Fluttershy. Suddenly, Derpy started sobbing at the care and concern that these seven ponies were showing her. “I hate my eyes!” “Uh, why do you say that Derpy?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Because ponies assume I’m slow or mentally retarded just because my eyes are skewed! Plus it negatively affects my distance perception, which makes me extremely clumsy. Those stallion ponies even thought that they might get it because they didn’t know whether or not it was contagious!” Derpy stomped a rear hoof in anger. “They even told me that you wanted to get rid of me, because of the damage that I’d done to City Hall, Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. “Um, yeah; about that. I’m sorry if you saw it that way. I—I just don’t know how to deal with you Derpy.” Derpy gave a sobbing laugh, fresh tears streaming down her face. “Treat me like any pony with a brain, and not some sort of retarded burden on society. I’m a pony, just like your friends. When hurtful things are said to me, my heart aches. When I am cut, I bleed the same red blood. When my friends succeed, I feel joy and happiness for them. Only my eyes are the obvious thing wrong with me. My mind, my heart is fully capable as any other pony.” “I love you, Mommy! You’re the best Mommy for me!” Dinky cried, hugging her mother around her mother’s barrel, ever mindful of her horn. “I love you too, my precious Muffin.” She leaned down, and placed a tender, loving kiss on her daughter’s forehead, just above her horn. “Hee hee! That tickles Mommy!” Dinky giggled. Twilight Sparkle came and sat before Derpy. “I’d like to be your friend, Derpy.” Her voice was soft-spoken, as she watched the tender moment of a mother and her daughter. “I’d like that, Princess Twilight.” Derpy replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I—I’d like to be your friend as well. I-if that’s alright with you.” Fluttershy peeked at Derpy from behind her mane. “I’m already friends with you, but I’ll try to hang with you more often, Derpy!” Pinkie cheered, bouncing around Derpy, excitedly “I’m busy until sundown, but if you want to hang out for a bit afterwards, feel free to drop by the farm.” Applejack invited, inclining her head in a brief nod in her direction. “Do feel free to drop by the Boutique after business hours, if you’d like pleasant company and elegant tea, Darling.” Rarity offered. “And I can train your body until you won’t crash as much. But I gotta warn you, my regimen is tough, and not for the faint of heart!” Rainbow boastfully offered. Derpy wiped her tears with her fetlocks, and genuinely smiled. “Yes! I’d like to be friends with all of you!” “Hey! You know what we should totally do to inaugurate our friendship? Eat muffins at Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie cheered. “That’s a great idea Pinkie! Come on girls, let us go!” Twilight cried excitedly, as friends both familiar and newly made followed the Princess of Friendship, to the cozy, cheerful atmosphere of Sugarcube Corner. It would be a day to go down in Muffin History, as Sugarcube Corner’s muffin sales rose 400% that day.
FishingDerpy trotted along her mail route, humming a cheerful sounding tune, as she waved to ponies, greeting them with a cheerful, “hello.” The longest part of her job as Ponyville’s resident mailmare, was having to read the mailing address, as ponies often saw that she took the longest time to look at the address. The cramming into the courier container, and retrieval of outbound mail only took a matter of moments. The clouds above was a dark charcoal color, as a chilling breeze blew across the land. Her coat stood on end, as the wind blew over her body, and she ruffled her feathers, as she briefly looked skyward, taking note of the weather condition above. “Hey Derpy!” Rainbow Dash greeted as she hovered near Derpy. Her mane looked extra-disheveled today, though her wings looked to have been preened to be in excellent condition. “Hiya, Rainbow Dash,” Derpy responded with a smile, “lovely weather we’re having aren’t we?” Rainbow Dash looked skyward at the handiwork of her and all of her other teammates on the local weather team and raised an eyebrow. “Uh, if you say so. You should probably finish up as quickly as you can, because it’s gonna snow later sometime this evening. Oh, and I heard about them giving you more mail routes to deliver to. I just wanted to say, congratulations!” “Thanks. And thank you for the heads up about the weather! I should get moving if I want to be done before it’s time to pick up Dinky.” “Hey, do you want me to pick Dinky up if you aren’t finished with your work by the time it’s time to pick Dinky up?” “I don’t want to trouble you.” Derpy scuffed her right forehoof against the ground, as her brow creased and her nose scrunched as she gave Rainbow Dash a hesitant look. “Hey, us ponies got to stick together, right?” “Not to sound ungrateful, but you’ve never bothered to volunteer to watch over my daughter before.” Rainbow Dash groaned, and her right forehoof dragged down the front of her face, the skin stretching slightly under the hoof’s friction before it returned to its normal elasticity. “Okay, but I don’t want you telling just anypony, alright?” “Okay.” “Alright, so last night I had a nightmare. The me in my dreams had been experiencing vomiting, dizziness, and I felt warmest after I woke up. So the dream me went to Ponyville Hospital to get a checkup, and they did some tests, and announced that I was pregnant! My friends stuck with me for the first few months, but gradually they started to hang out with me less and less, until I just didn’t see them anymore. I felt alone and sad, like it was just me against the whole world. And seeing the care and attention that the Cake’s foals demand, I can see that foal-rearing isn’t easy. It’s harder when you’re a single parent and you’re trying to rear a foal. My nightmare got me thinking that I’d have wanted somepony to lend a helping hoof to me, if I were to ever have to travel down that road. So, I thought I’d just extend the offer to you, because I’d want it done for me, if I ever ended up a single parent,” Rainbow Dash explained. “I see.” Derpy pulled out a small notepad, and wrote a small note to Dinky. My beloved Muffin, If Rainbow Dash has given you this note, it means that I’m still working and couldn’t finish in time to pick you up. Be good for Rainbow Dash, until I finish with work and can pick you up. With all my love, your mommy Derpy folded the paper until it was about a square hoof in size. She passed it over to Rainbow Dash, who slipped it into the collar part of her weatherpony uniform. “That’s a note to give to Dinky, if I don’t get finished in time. Rip it up, if I find you and have finished with work before it’s time to pick Dinky up.” “Alright. Well, I’m going to get going. The less time I take up of your time, the sooner you can get finished with work. Later Derpy,” Rainbow Dash called, zooming off in the direction of the Golden Oaks Library. “Bye, Rainbow Dash,” Derpy called to the already distant pegasus. * * * {Fishing} * * * Derpy entered her home, shaking what snow that had coated her grey coat and her light straw-blonde mane. It was already as dark as the inside of an underground cave outside. She entered her living room to find Dinky covered with a faded pale yellow quilt, sleeping soundly beside Rainbow Dash, who was reading a book titled Merry Matcher: Dragon Hatcher. “Wow! You sure are home late! Was everything all right?” Rainbow Dash inquired while keeping her volume low. “Yeah … It’s just taking so long, since I’m still not familiar with the additional routes that the Ponyville Mail Office gave me. It ought to go faster once I’m more familiar with my new route and get to know the ponies that live there. Thanks for watching her Rainbow Dash.” She went upstairs, rummaging and pulling out a suitcase, where she stored what bits that she didn’t spend. She grabbed a small bag of 15 bits and placed them in the bag, drawing the drawstring closed before going back downstairs. “Here.” She gently placed in Rainbow Dash’s lap the small sack of bits. “What’s this?” “It’s for watching Dinky while I was away.” “I don’t want to accept this.” “Why not?” “Because, friends don’t do things expecting to be paid for every little nice thing that they do for their friends!” Rainbow harshly whispered. “But-” “I’m not taking your bits, Derpy.” “What? Are you going to out-generous the Bearer of the Element of Generosity?” Derpy harshly whispered back. “No, but like I said before, us ponies need to stick together. Besides ponies should be able to do nice things for other ponies without having to worry about having to pay ponies that do things out of the goodness of their hearts, for the nice thing that was done to them.” Derpy’s eyes held two crystalline orbs of tears at the corner of her eyes, her bottom lip trembling, as she swallowed, before wrapping Rainbow Dash into a hug. The surprised Rainbow Dash was frozen briefly, before she wrapped her forehoof around Derpy’s back, and patting the other mare’s back. Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously, as moments like these went totally against her image as the most radical, awesome, and cool pegasus in Equestria. Derpy ended the hug, smiling, even though her eyes looked red and puffy. “It’s really late, Rainbow Dash. I have a bed in the guest room, if you want to spend the night here. I’m going to put Dinky to bed, and then I’m going to head to bed myself. Do feel free to sleep in the guest room if you decide to stay.” “Okay, Derpy. I’m feeling a bit tired myself, so I-” Rainbow Dash yawned, blinking her eyes sleepily, and smacking her lips before resuming where she had left off before she yawned. “-I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” Derpy nodded, before nuzzling her sleeping daughter onto her back, and trotting up the stairs to the door that had a wooden plaque cut in the shape of a unicorn silhouette with a steeple-style conical hennin towards the back of the head’s silhouette. Thin ribbons of pink and purple fabric dropped down from their attachment at the top of the hennin. Dinky’s name was spelled out in gem appliqués of many different colors; rubies, citrines, and tanzanite, just to name a few. Derpy’s right wing curled around the doorknob, as she twisted the knob, and pushed, opening the door to enter Dinky’s room. Derpy peeled back the covers, with their sunflower design on them and tucked her daughter into bed. She placed Dinky’s favorite stuffed teddy bear, who Dinky had named Mr. Snuggles, into the hooves of her little filly and smiled as the sleeping filly smiled in her sleep and snuggled closer to Mr. Snuggles. Mr. Snuggles had honey-golden brown short velveteen fur. Mr. Snuggles paws, muzzle and ears were a light creamy color, in a similar velveteen ‘fur.’ His eyes were cornflower blue, with flecks of aqua blue dividing the uniformity of the cornflower blue iris. He also had a red, green and light honey-brown plaid bow under his neck, attached to a collar of the same fabric. He had a black stitched anchor style mouth, which gave it an endearing smile. Derpy brushed the bangs of her daughter back and kissed her daughter on the forehead, opening the curtains to let the light of Luna’s moon in, so that her daughter wouldn’t be afraid of the dark. “Sleep well, my beloved daughter.” * * * {Fishing} * * * “Well, since I don’t have to work today, is there anything you’d like to do today Muffin?” Derpy asked, as she flipped another pancake onto the growing pile of hot, sweet, and fluffy goodness and poured more batter into the pan, starting another pancake. “I want to go to Equestrian Princess amusement park!” Dinky exclaimed excitedly, devouring the pancake on her plate like she had not eaten for a month, bits of pancake dough and maple syrup coating the sides of her diminutive muzzle. “Oh, I don’t know Muffin,” Derpy replied, her voice sounding doubtful. “Oh please Mommy? Please, please, please!?” Dinky eyes grew wide, as she looked up at her mother, tears in the corner of her eyes and her bottom lip quivering, and her ears flattened against her head. Derpy chuckled, shaking her head at her daughter’s attempt to get her mommy to cave in. “That’s not going to work on me, Muffin, but we shall see. But first, breakfast!” * * * {Fishing} * * * “Mommy, mommy! Look they have a cute kitty cat in that crane game! Get it for me, please?” “Okay, but after this we have to go home.” “Okay!” Derpy chuckled, watching her filly rear up onto her rear legs, and pressing her forehooves and muzzle against the glass, as she fished around for the few bits she still had, after a fun day of riding rollercoasters, whirlygigs and the rocket ferris wheel. It was like a ferris wheel, except that the wheel spun really fast, and could even tilt to spin parallel with the ground! Derpy inserted the bit into the coin and started maneuvering the claw to get the cute little stuffed kitty Dinky asked her to get. * * * {Fishing} * * * “I’m sorry Dinky. I’m all out of bits.” Derpy looked at her filly somberly, feeling bad that she hadn’t won a single thing from the crane game, much less the stuffed kitty Dinky had wanted. “You want that cute kitty plush in that crane game, right?” A familiar voice giggled. “Pinkie!” Dinky cried, immediately cheered up by the presences of Ponyville’s pink party pony. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that,” Derpy protested. “Nonsense! If I can possibly make a pony happy, then as I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, lives, I shall do everything in my power to spread cheer, joy and laughter to as many ponies as I can!” Pinkie raised her hoof upward, as though she was taking a sacred oath. “They don’t call me the Joyful Joystick Jockey for nothing!” Pinkie giggled. Dinky and Derpy watched in fascination as with each bit that went into the crane game, a kitty plush was dropped into the prize slot, with Pinkie placing the plush into a large rucksack. Ten bits had gone into the machine and ten kitty plushes had come out of the machine. Pinkie grinned, hoofing a kitty plush over to Dinky. “See you in Ponyville!” Pinkie called out, before leaving a pink puffy cloud, the prolific party pony nowhere to be seen. * * * {Fishing} * * * “Did you have fun today, Muffin?” “Uh-huh! I had fun because I was with you, Mommy!” Derpy felt her eyes grow wet, her mouth pulling tight into a big smile, her cheeks enclosing her grin, as she nuzzled her daughter affectionately, and placed Mr. Snuggles next to her daughter before tucking Dinky and Mr. Snuggles into bed. “Goodnight Dinky. I love you.” “—Love you, Mommy.” Dinky sleepily murmured, before Derpy closed the door behind her. Author's Note So much fishing, and yet no fish were caught in this story! And this is why I love word play.
MailmareDerpy hummed in the shower, cleaning herself up for her interview later that morning. The calendar had Post Office Interview at 9:00 A.M. circled in a bright red highlighter marker. “Ooh, I really hope they’ll hire me. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t get this job. I certainly don’t want the Equestrian Social Services branch in Ponyville to decide that I’m incapable of caring for my precious Muffin.” Derpy muttered to herself, as she relished in the hot water pelting her body, the heat seeping through her pelt, relaxing her taut muscles somewhat. She lathered her loofah with her favorite scented Head and Hocks shampoo. Rainy Evergreen Forest, it actually smelled like a wet evergreen forest would smell after a rain, but without the stickiness of the sap, prickliness of the needles, or the dangers of being in a forest in a storm. She then soaped up her mane and tail, lathering both of them, until they felt like the softest and smoothest spun gold silk. She dried her mane, tail and coat off, and briefly contemplated a breakfast of muffins. The derped-eye mare sighed, opting to not eat breakfast, considering that if she didn’t get this job, she’d have to eat less, just so that Dinky wouldn’t go hungry. “I’m too nervous to be hungry.” She rationalized. She brushed her teeth with Colgate’s Fresh Mint toothpaste, and washed the foamy cleanser out of her mouth. She then swirled some of Barnyard Bargain’s brand mint flavored mouthwash, before going to her bedroom to don on some interview clothes. She selected a smart looking creamy colored blouse, fumbling a few times with the buttons, before getting them to all thread through their respective holes, then she selected a cinnamon reddish-brown overcoat, wriggling her wings through the holes needed for pegasi clothing and buttoning the overcoat in the front. She looked at herself in the mirror, trying to decide if there was anything else she might want to do before she head out for her interview. She pinned back the unruly bangs of her mane with a cherry blossom decaled hair clip, three small blossoms interspaced evenly on the hairclip, the petals almost hiding the metallic base they were attatched to. “Alright, time to go.” Derpy pep talked to herself, a resolved and determined glint in her eyes. {Later, towards the end of the interview} Parcel Post, looked over her application for employment, as he dispassionately continued. “And finally Miss Hooves; why should we hire you as a mail pony for Ponyville Post Office?” “Well, I really enjoy interacting with other ponies and I feel that their experience with the Post Office and its mail ponies ought to be a positive and pleasant experience. Like getting to see a friend or a good neighbor.” “I’ve talked with your previous employers and while they spoke well of your work ethics, I’m informed that you have a concerning amount of mishaps and accidents. The ponies of Ponyville’s Post Office, frequently deliver fragile mail. It’s really concerning for me as a prospective employer.” Derpy closed her eyes, awaiting a rejection for her application for employment. The silence seemed to last for minutes, hours, weeks even, though it really had been only several minutes. “But well, just because you’re clumsy, I don’t see anything else that could be problematic in hiring you. You’re medical results indicated that you weren’t taking illegal substances, and the physical tests shows a pony at the peak of her health. So let me be the first to welcome you to the team, Miss Derpy Hooves.” . Derpy woodenly shook the elderly stallion’s hoof, still disbelieving that she had an actual job! “Thank you! Thank you so much!” “Of course, Miss Hooves. You will arrive here at six sharp to begin your route. And I think you should deliver the parcels separately from the paper mail.” “Yes Sir!” Derpy agreed, just grateful to even have a job, not knowing the trials and tribulations which lay ahead of her. {The next day} “Okay, here is a map with your route highlighted. Once you’re finished with delivering the paper mail, come back for the parcels and deliver them too.” Parcel Post instructed, settling a pair of mailbags over her flanks. “Of course! You can count on me, Mister Post, Sir!” Derpy saluted. “Just Parcel is fine, Miss Hooves. Also, I’ve never served in the Equestrian Guards, so there’s no need to salute me.” “Okay.” She trotted down, as she started on her new mail route.” {Later, about midafternoon} Derpy was struggling to help move some parcels that a Mister Filthy Rich had ordered, and unable to right the cart in time, the parcels slipped out of the back of the delivery wagon. Cries of pain and agony could be heard from Twilight Sparkle, as she was hit with a flowerpot, then an anvil, then a cart full of haybales and finally an upright piano. Derpy quickly landed the cart. “Quick, go to the hospital, and tell them to bring the emergency wagon!” She informed the other pegasus mare, Bon Voyage, who wasted no time flying as quickly to the hospital as she could. Derpy, meanwhile moved to remove the debris from the poor unfortunate pony beneath. The wrecked piano wasn’t too difficult for the mare to move, nor were the cart or haybales. She ended up using a leverage with a rock and a plank of wood to topple the anvil from off of Miss Twilight. She swept aside the broken pottery and dirt from atop Twilight’s mane, the unconscious mare lying in a perfect indent of her body. “Ooh, where are those EMTs? Shouldn’t they be here by now?” Just as she finished saying this, the medical wagon showed up, a pair of EMT pegasi unhitching themselves from the emergency cart. “What happened?” Cosmic, a pegasus stallion inquired. “We were moving some parcels for delivery to Mister Filthy Rich, when the wagon became unstable, and the parcels hit Miss Twilight! She was hit with a flowerpot first, then an anvil, then a cart full of haybales, and finally an upright piano!” “Hoo boy. Alright Great Scott! Let’s get her on the stretcher, and to Ponyville Hospital A.S.A.P!” Cosmic cried. “Yes!” Great Scott replied, before opening the back of the wagon and pulling out a stretcher. “Aright, let’s just slide it under her, moving from the back to her front.” Cosmic instructed. “You just want to get a glimpse of her plot.” Great Scott teased. “... .” Cosmic deadpanned. “Yes, I like to fuck recently deceased mare plots. No, you moron, I’m trying to save her life!” “Luna’s teats, sorry!” Great Scott apologized, regretting his attempt at humor. The two EMTs slid the stretcher beneath Twilight and gently loaded her onto the emergency wagon. One of them rotating what looked like pole clamps, to ensure that the stretcher didn’t move. Then he also reharnessed himself to the wagon, and soon they were on their way to the hospital. “I should let Spike know and inform Twilight’s closest friends.” Derpy muttered, downcast that her mishap had hurt a nice pony, well any pony for that matter. Derpy did like how Twilight was always quick to suggest a story book that was appropriate to Dinky’s reading level. {Later} It was nearly sundown when Derpy had finished her parcel deliveries, delayed briefly due to informing Spike, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity that Twilight had been sent to the hospital. Then she came home, finding Dinky doing her homework, and she put together a jiffy meal of sandwiches and Au Gratin flavored hay chips. “Dinner’s ready, Muffin!” “Okay Mommy!” Dinky replied, putting her homework materials back into her saddlebags. Noticing her mother’s dejected appearance, she asked. “What’s wrong Mommy?” “I hurt a pony today. I didn’t mean to, but it still happened.” Derpy replied, after taking a bite from her hay bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. “Did that pony die?” Dinky asked worriedly. “I- I don’t know yet, Muffin.” Derpy replied. “I’m going to go to the hospital to visit her after supper. Do you mind coming with me, Dinky?” “No. I hope she feels better soon.” Dinky replied. {Later at the Hospital} “You! How dare you show your face around here after what you did to Twilight!” Rainbow Dash roared, getting up in Derpy’s face, and pressing her forehead against Derpy’s in a show of aggression. “I never intended to hurt her! Please, believe me. The last thing I wanted was for anypony to get hurt!” Derpy cried, tears starting to stream down her muzzle. “Oh sure. An apology will make it all better!” Rainbow Dash cried angrily. “Hush now, Rainbow Dash! Can’t you see that she feels terrible enough as it is?” Rarity admonished, her magic enveloping the brash pegasus and placing her a few hooflengths away. “Aren’t you upset that Twilight’s hurt because of her?” Rainbow argued. “No, because it was an accident, Rainbow Dash. I’m sad that Twilight was hurt, and I do hope that Derpy will have learned her limits and not try to move more than she is able. But it was an honest mistake. Kind of like when you damage windows and houses, because you can’t stick a landing. We know you don’t mean to do it on purpose, darling. The scale might be larger on this, or maybe it’s more personal because it’s happening to a friend, but that doesn’t change that they were unintended accidents.” “You just had to bring that up, didn’t you?” Rainbow Dash pouted, crossing her forelegs and turning her back to Rarity. “I’m just making a point Rainbow Dash. Nopony’s perfect. Ponies make mistakes. It’s important that we learn to forgive each other when we messed up. Derpy messed up, but she didn’t have malicious intents when the accident happened.” Rarity explained to her rainbow-maned friend. “Don’t you care that Twilight’s hurt?” Rainbow Dash groused. “I do, darling. I’m sorry that she’s hurt. But I’m not going to make a pony that already feels terrible about hurting our friend feel even worse by holding a grudge against her.” Rarity reasoned. “Ugh! Fine. I’m sorry for making you feel bad, Derpy.” “I forgive you, Rainbow Dash. Forgive me for hurting Twilight.” Derpy hung her head before Rainbow Dash, in a gesture of remorse and regret. “Cheer up, Mommy!” Dinky nuzzled her mother, trying to make her feel better.” “Thanks Dinky.” She smiled gently, before becoming serious once again. She looked to Applejack. “Have you heard any news? Will she be alright?” Applejack shifted, looking uncomfortable. “The doctors want to keep here for awhile, because from their examination, she’s suffering from severe traumatic brain injuries.” Fluttershy spoke up, seeing that Applejack didn’t feel too comfortable about telling Derpy about the harm she’d caused to Twilight. “Oh no.” Derpy covered her mouth with both of her forehooves, her eyes widening in shock. “You should totally stay with us! We can sleep here at the hospital and throw Twilight a ‘get well soon’ party!” Pinkie cheered. “Would you girls mind if I stayed with you?” The other five mares shaking their heads. “No.” They replied, nearly simultaneously. Derpy, feeling exhausted, reclined in one of the hospital chairs, while Dinky curled up in her forelegs, and it wasn’t too long before a group of mares joined them in slumber. Waiting with hope that their friend would make a full recovery.
OopsThe familiar sight of Ponyville’s local mailmare could be seen humming happily as her wing opened the lid on her mailbag, and her muzzle briefly vanished into the sack’s depths, as she removed the mail for the ponies in the house before whose mailbox she stood. Her other wing pulled open the mailbox’s door, as she stuffed the mail within the container. And finally she turned the flag down, having picked up what outgoing mail had been retrieved from the mailbox, prior to her delivering their inbound mail. Parcel Post, her boss, had given her an unusual way of delivering her mail. Because instead of delivering parcels along with paper mail, he had her deliver all of her paper mail first before coming back to deliver the parcels. “I don’t get it.” Derpy muttered. “It just seems so incredibly inefficient and time-consuming to make two trips on one delivery route, instead of one trip. I could get done so much earlier if he’d just let me take parcels with the paper mail.” She waved to Octavia Melody, who had briefly paused from watering a lovely plot of Yellow Tulips, Passion flowers and Orange Blossoms to wave to her. “Maybe I should talk with him about it after work.” Much of her shift passed without any mishaps or anything really notable happening. Well, aside from one event that brightened her day. Derpy smiled, as she recalled the memory. {Earlier that day} ”Hiya Derpy!” Pinkie called cheerfully from Pokey Oaks Memorial Park, a picnic basket jostled unmercifully upon the bounding pink pony’s back. ”Hi Pinkie, are you going on a picnic?” ”Of course! The girls are bringing their favorite picnic treats, and I’m bringing my favorite Triple Fudge Caramel Delights. I had a feeling that I might run into you, and I packed a muffin just for you! You like Lemon Poppy, right?” Derpy began salivating just at the mention of a Sugarcube Corner muffin. They weren’t as good as hers, but muffin making was a serious business. She couldn’t lower her opinion of the ponies that worked there, for making a plethora of pastries and baked goods. ”Do I ever! My love for muffins is unmatched!” Pinkie giggled, and set the picnic basket on the ground before sticking her muzzle into the basket, before pulling out a paper plate with the muffin placed on it. Derpy reverently took the plate on her right hoof, as her large golden eyes staring at the delectable treat before her eyes, and she took a large whiff, smelling the faint citrusy aroma of the lemon juice that had been used. Her smile grew larger, before she took a dainty bite of the tantalising pastry, rolling the puffy golden muffin bit around on her tongue, as she savored the tart lemony flavor, but relishing the crunch the poppy seed provided. ”Mmm! ‘Anks ‘Inkie!” Pinkie giggled, ecstatic that her friend was enjoying her treat so much. ”You’re welcome, silly filly! See you later Derpy!” Pinkie closed her picnic basket lid, before returning it to its former position on her back, as Pinkie merrily bounded off in the direction of the park, leaving Derpy to blissfully savor her muffiny delight. {Back in the present} Derpy entered the post office though the employees only entrance and went directly to her boss’ office. “Mister Parcel, Sir?” Derpy asked, her voice low, both in volume and her vocal range. “What is it Derpy?” The elderly yellow-brown stallion asked, not even peering over his bifocals, as he continued to scan, sign and stamp the paperwork that constantly littered his desk. “Well, it’s just, I’d like to deliver the parcels with the paper mail, sir. The current arrangement takes twice as long, and doubles the distance that I’d otherwise travel.” “I’m just trying to make things less awkward, heavy and reduce the likelihood of parcels getting damaged. If you think you can handle both, then by all means. But if I get a complaint from anypony about you damaging the contents of their parcel, then we go back to the current arrangement.” “Yes Sir!” Derpy agreed, her volume increased and her voice higher on her vocal range, expressing her excitement. {The next day} It was near the end of her shift, and she only had about a quarter remaining of the mail and parcels she had started with, when she placed a package marked fragile on her back, as she trotted to the house to deliver the parcel. Pipsqueak, running from Snips, Snails, and Featherweight; all wearing bandanas around their heads collided with her, and Derpy could only watch in horror, as she heard the tinkling cacophony of the contents of the parcel being broken. “Oops. I’m sorry Miss Derpy.” Derpy didn’t respond, tears welling up in her eyes, as a strangled sob sounded from the distraught mailmare. Pipsqueak, sad and not knowing how he could make things better ran off, the other colts hot on his hocks. Derpy felt a hoof draw her into a hug, as she peered through watery eyes and seeing the light grey coat of Rarity, her eyes expressive with sympathy and compassion, her mulberry colored mane framing her face in stylish curls. “I saw the whole thing Darling. It wasn’t your fault.” “T-that won’t change the fact that I’ll have to go back to delivering the parcels and paper mail separately once Mister Rich learns that his parcel got damaged and that I was the mail pony responsible for the delivery.” Derpy sobbed, her tears matting Rarity’s coat. “I’ll go with you for the rest of your route, and we can explain what happened to your boss.” “O-okay.” Derpy replied, still looking dejected. She knocked on the door, placing the parcel on the ground. When nopony answered, she left the package and continued with the remainder of her route, and though she didn’t show it, she was immensely grateful for Rarity’s company. {After work} “—And that’s why we have you deliver the parcels separately!” Parcel scolded the mailmare, whose eyes began to issue tears afresh. “It wasn’t her fault, Mister Parcel. It was just a freak accident.” Rarity attempted to placate the enraged elderly stallion. “A freak accident that’s going to come out of our insurance!” Parcel yelled in frustration. “Mister Parcel! Can’t you see that she feels terrible enough about it already!? It wasn’t even her fault! Must you make her feel worse than she already feels?” Rarity reasoned. “How she feels! How she feels! What about how I feel! Now we have to spend our insurance money to fix this mess. She was the mail pony responsible for delivering the parcel undamaged! I don’t even want to deal with you, Derpy. I’ve had to clean up too many of your messes already. Break another parcel, and you can start looking for another job.” The stallion swiveled in his chair, the high back of the chair greeting their vision, indicating that this meeting was over. Derpy let herself be herded into Rarity’s house, lying on the comfortable chaise longue as Rarity went about making dinner for her guest and herself. “Don’t worry Derpy. You’re a kind and cheerful pony, and that’s an attractive quality in a pony. I’m sure that even if you were to be fired, you can easily find another job.” Rarity tried to cheer Derpy up. A bowl of vegetable soup floated over to Derpy, who balanced it on one hoof, while using her other hoof to grasp the spoon and ladle the soup into her muzzle. “But I love delivering the mail. I love seeing the ponies on my route and greeting them, or just even watching them live their lives. I don’t want a different job!” Rarity glanced at the clock, surprised at how much time had passed. “I’d like it if you’d stay the night. Hopefully things will not seem quite as bleak with the arrival of a new day.” “Thanks Miss Rarity.” Derpy murmured. “Rarity, darling. Friends don’t let titles create distance between them.” Rarity responded. “Y-you really want to be my friend?” Derpy asked, her voice wavering slightly, as if she didn’t believe what she was hearing. “But of course, darling. I’ve only observed you from afar, but I think that from what I’ve seen, you’re not only a mare worth knowing, but to have as a friend as well.” “Thanks, Rarity.” “Think nothing of it Derpy.” Rarity smiled, levitating the empty bowls and dirty silverware down into her kitchen, placing them in the sink to be washed later. She clambered into the bed with her new friend, and let the sweet embrace of sleep grip them.
LonelinessDerpy smiled, waving to the ponies she knew by face and name. Many were genuinely nice ponies, even if they didn’t spend any time with her. While she wished she could hate them for their avoidance of spending any time longer than the couple of minutes it took to be given their mail, Derpy just didn’t have it in her. “I’d probably be uncomfortable hanging with a pony who has eyes like mine.” She said sadly, moving towards the next house to continue her rounds. {Elsewhere in Ponyville} A certain pink pony party planner for Ponyville felt her body get the pony pimples, before her right foreleg twitched and her ears alternated in flattening against her head. Pinkie’s mane deflated. “Oh no! Somepony is smiling, but not really feeling it!” Pinkie wanted to go cheer that pony up, she really did, but she had the obligations and responsibilities that her job demanded of her, and it wouldn’t be right to just up an leave on the Cakes. So she continued to toil, beads of sweat rolling down her forehead and body, as she mixed, beat and rolled dough, or poured the dough into molds or cake pans. Pinkie zipping from one pastry project to the next. “Cheer up, whoever you are.” Pinkie uttered softly in a sad voice. {Later after work: Derpy} The mailmare, having finished with her deliveries returned home, dropping her mailbag at her house, hanging it upon a coat rack. Once she had done so, she turned around, trudging with her head hung low in the direction of Ponyville’s school. She found a comfortable place in the grass outside the schoolyard, and laid her head down and closed her eyes while waiting for her daughter Dinky to be released from school. Her ear twitched, as she heard the ringing of the bell, as the cacophony of excited foals greeted her ears. She smelled the comforting scent of her daughter as she felt Dinky nuzzle her. “Mommy? Is there something wrong?” Derpy smiled sadly at her daughter. “Mommy’s just feeling sad, my sweet Muffin.” “Why, Mommy?” Dinky tilted her head cutely to the side, her large eyes expressive with curiosity and incomprehension. “Don’t be sad Mommy, or you’ll make me feel sad. I might even cry!” The small light violet coated unicorn filly looked tearfully at her precious Mommy. Derpy slowly got to her hooves, her body feeling sluggish and heavy to her. Like her sadness was sapping her strength and energy. Dinky stayed near her Mommy, looking at her with worry. She wanted her mommy to cheer up, but she was too concerned about her Mommy to leave her and seek help. She opened the door for her Mommy, and walked by her side, watching her climb into bed, and sigh heavily.. Dinky tapped the side of her hoof against her head, wracking her brain for how she might help her Mommy. Then the gloomy look on the filly’s face vanished like fog before the summer sun, a look of hope replacing the gloomy sadness that had been there before. Soon the front door opened and slammed shut as Dinky went to get the smartest pony she could think of, and who was smarter than Princess Twilight? {~45 minutes later} The voice of Equestria’s newest princess drifted up the stairway and underneath the crack at the bottom of Derpy’s door. “She’s in her bedroom, right?” “Yes, Princess Twilight.” Dinky’s voice responded. A rapping sound resounded through Derpy’s door. “Derpy, can I come in? It is I, Twilight Sparkle.” A loud sigh could be heard on the other side of the door, followed by several moments of silence. “Sure.” The creaking of the door signaled the door being turned on its hinges. Twilight’s voice came much closer, as Derpy felt her bed give a little, beneath the added weight of Dinky, as her daughter laid near her Mommy, looking up at Derpy with worry in her large expressive eyes. “Why are you feeling sad, Derpy? Don’t you know you’re worrying Dinky?” “I know I’m worrying her! But I can’t help feeling how I feel.” Derpy snapped angrily at Twilight. “—I don’t believe that. I don’t think there’s anything one can’t do, if they strive for it and want it bad enough.” “Why do you care?” Derpy’s voice oozed with hurt. “Nopony wants to be friends with the pony with abnormal eyes.” “Have you ever thought about putting forth the effort to make friends? If they’re not making the first move, then shouldn’t you make the first move?” “What?” Derpy’s voice sounded incredulous. The problem wasn’t with her! The problem was with other ponies, Tartarus damn it! “Instead of waiting for something to happen, why not put forth some effort to make it happen?” “The problem isn’t with me! The problem is with those other ponies!” Derpy shouted back, angry. How dare she, how dare she imply that the fault was somehow hers. “Are you sure? Either you can stay here and wallow in your depression and sadness, or you can take your own destiny in your hoof, and make choices for your happiness. The choice, in the end, will be yours. But if you make the wrong choice, I might have to judge you unfit to continue raising Dinky, and give her to someone who will raise properly and care for her.” “Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!” Derpy yelled, her eyes glaring at Twilight, her wings spread, and her stance splayed. “—Think about what I’ve said.” Twilight replied, before closing the door behind her. A few moments later. the splintering crack could be heard, as a horseshoe impacted with the door, an enraged scream coming from Derpy’s room. Dinky curled up, making herself as small as possible, frightened as she’d never seen her Mommy this mad before. “Don’t let her take me away Mommy.” Dinky sobbed quietly. “Don’t worry Muffin. Mommy won’t let this beat her. I love you, my precious muffin.” “I love you too, Mommy.” Derpy got back onto the bed, and curled up around her daughter, before using her wing to pull the blankets over the both of them, as the sweet embrace of slumber took both mother and daughter.
MuffinsIt was a lovely stormy morning in Ponyville, as bolts of lightning flashed across the sky, and some looked like they were aimed at the ground. Bolts of yellow, white and white-blue raced, as water poured from the clouds above heavily. There was so much rain falling that there were few ponies that were adventurous enough to venture outdoors for any reason. The market stalls were closed, as there would not be anypony that would want to do business in a deluge. However, ponies still needed to get their mail sent and delivered, irregardless of the weather, scheduled by the weather ponies or no. Mail ponies had specially water repelling mailbags for days such as these, when they had to be out in the rain, no matter what. One grey pegasus mailmare wore a basic light custard yellow poncho, with different fabric muffins sewn on it at irregular intervals by her little Muffin, Dinky. Sparkler had helped Dinky to waterproof the muffin decals, and even though it might not please other ponies, Derpy Hooves was inordinately proud of her beloved poncho. Though, Derpy didn’t smile as much on rainy days, since there were a lot less ponies out and about, even though she knew everypony on her route by name and face, even if she wasn’t privy to all the minutia of their lives. Still, she took satisfaction in doing her job well, and how capable she was. She’d just finished with delivering the last of her mail, when five male ponies surrounded her, not quite yet stallions, but neither colts either. Each sported a cruel smile. “So, the wall-eyed freak still lives among us. Your very existence is a mockery and shame to the entire pony race! What if what you have is contagious! Other ponies could catch your freaky eyes! Why don’t you do us all a favor and kill yourself! No pony wants you! No pony likes you.” The leader, a dark charcoal coated stallion with a silvery cropped top mane, and three diamond studs in his left ear spewed his hurtful propoganda, the others agreeing with him. “No! T-that’s not true! Ponies do like me! You’re lying!” The lead stallion hit her with his right hoof, making her see stars, and feeling her cheek start to swell. “It’s true! Rainbow Dash seemed eager enough to get rid of you, with all the damage you did to City Hall! And let’s not forget all that furniture you dropped upon Princess Twilight. You’re even a danger to yourself! Or did you forget the lightning that hit you when you were jumping up and down on a thundercloud!?” The leader sneered, and spat in her face. “I’m surprised that your daughter is even alive, and certainly that she isn’t crippled in some way!” Some distance away, a light violet unicorn filly saw what was happening and dashed off to the Golden Oaks Library. {10 minutes later} “Hey! Get away from her!” Applejack cried, bucking the leader in his sides, so that everypony assembled could hear the sickening crack as his ribs could not withstand the force of her buck. The leader hobbled away, his lackeys following to make sure that he made it into Ponyville Hospital. “Are you alright darling?” Rarity inquired, her eyes roaming over Derpy’s poncho. “Mommy!” Dinky cried, tearfully nuzzing her mother, and seeing the ugly purple bruise on her cheek. “Oh goodness. We should really get some ice on your cheek. Come with me to my cottage, and I’ll get some ice for your cheek.” Fluttershy gently said, escorting the beaten mailmare to her cottage. {Later at Fluttershy’s Cottage} Derpy gasped out in pain, as the biting cold of the ice, wrapped in a hoofkerchief was placed upon her cheek by Fluttershy. Suddenly, Derpy started sobbing at the care and concern that these seven ponies were showing her. “I hate my eyes!” “Uh, why do you say that Derpy?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Because ponies assume I’m slow or mentally retarded just because my eyes are skewed! Plus it negatively affects my distance perception, which makes me extremely clumsy. Those stallion ponies even thought that they might get it because they didn’t know whether or not it was contagious!” Derpy stomped a rear hoof in anger. “They even told me that you wanted to get rid of me, because of the damage that I’d done to City Hall, Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. “Um, yeah; about that. I’m sorry if you saw it that way. I—I just don’t know how to deal with you Derpy.” Derpy gave a sobbing laugh, fresh tears streaming down her face. “Treat me like any pony with a brain, and not some sort of retarded burden on society. I’m a pony, just like your friends. When hurtful things are said to me, my heart aches. When I am cut, I bleed the same red blood. When my friends succeed, I feel joy and happiness for them. Only my eyes are the obvious thing wrong with me. My mind, my heart is fully capable as any other pony.” “I love you, Mommy! You’re the best Mommy for me!” Dinky cried, hugging her mother around her mother’s barrel, ever mindful of her horn. “I love you too, my precious Muffin.” She leaned down, and placed a tender, loving kiss on her daughter’s forehead, just above her horn. “Hee hee! That tickles Mommy!” Dinky giggled. Twilight Sparkle came and sat before Derpy. “I’d like to be your friend, Derpy.” Her voice was soft-spoken, as she watched the tender moment of a mother and her daughter. “I’d like that, Princess Twilight.” Derpy replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I—I’d like to be your friend as well. I-if that’s alright with you.” Fluttershy peeked at Derpy from behind her mane. “I’m already friends with you, but I’ll try to hang with you more often, Derpy!” Pinkie cheered, bouncing around Derpy, excitedly “I’m busy until sundown, but if you want to hang out for a bit afterwards, feel free to drop by the farm.” Applejack invited, inclining her head in a brief nod in her direction. “Do feel free to drop by the Boutique after business hours, if you’d like pleasant company and elegant tea, Darling.” Rarity offered. “And I can train your body until you won’t crash as much. But I gotta warn you, my regimen is tough, and not for the faint of heart!” Rainbow boastfully offered. Derpy wiped her tears with her fetlocks, and genuinely smiled. “Yes! I’d like to be friends with all of you!” “Hey! You know what we should totally do to inaugurate our friendship? Eat muffins at Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie cheered. “That’s a great idea Pinkie! Come on girls, let us go!” Twilight cried excitedly, as friends both familiar and newly made followed the Princess of Friendship, to the cozy, cheerful atmosphere of Sugarcube Corner. It would be a day to go down in Muffin History, as Sugarcube Corner’s muffin sales rose 400% that day.
