I never meant to go this far.
She closes the door.
"WHAT THE HELL, RARITY!?!?"
Startled, Rarity quickly spins around and comes face to angry face with the premier party pony.
"I asked you a question Rarity. What. The. Hell?" Pinkie Pie said with uncharacteristic venom.
Rarity backs up a few steps and composes herself. "First off, I'm going to gloss over how you got in my house when all the doors and windows are locked and Sweetie Belle is out playing with her crusader friends. If Twilight was able to get it through her head to stop trying to figure you out then-"
"THERE!! You just did it again!!" Pinkie Pie shouted.
"Wh-What on Equestria are you talking about?" Rarity responded.
"You weren't even in that episode so there's no way you should know about Twilight almost having a psychotic breakdown trying to figure out my Pinkie Sense without breaking the 4th wall! You're stealing my bit!! I'm the only one allowed to break the 4th wall around here!" Pinkie Pie shouted.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Is that what this is all about dear? Something as silly as me breaking the 4th wall?".
Pinkie angrily nodded. "Yeah, You're stealing my bit, my mojo, my....my...PINKIEPIENESS!!!".
Rarity deadpanned "Pinkiepieness?".
Pinkie, even angrier, nodded. "You know what I mean. The whole breaking the 4th wall thing is my house and I will thank you to keep your hooves off my lawn. I mean get with the program already, what if I started acting like drama queen and overreacted over the most trivial things. Or worked on tailoring suits and dresses for ponies in a society where they're naked half the time. Or maybe I should steal Spike's heart and have start fawning over me." Pinkie put an evil smirk on her face "And, unlike you, I wouldn't just tease him and I'd actually-"
I'm not sure if Rarity knew or not that I was was trying to keep this a Teen rated story but thankfully she choose that moment shove her hoof in Pinkie's mouth and bring her face within inches of Pinkie's.
With a look in her eye that promised a long and painful death, Rarity venomously spat out "Pinkie Pie, there is one simple truth in the universe that is as constant as Celestia raising the sun and Luna raising the moon. This simple truth is as follows: Spike is mine. Since your my dear friend Pinkie I hope you can respect this truth because if you don't I cannot be held responsible for my actions that will lead to you eating through a tube for the rest of your life. Do you understand me?".
Pinkie Pie, with admirable control of her bladder and a scared look in her eyes, nodded yes.
Rarity removed her hoof and let her face revert to a look that was far less murderous. "And another thing Pinkie, Why exactly am I not allowed to break the 4th wall? Who gave you the right to decide such a thing?".
Pinkie Pie, relived that Rarity stopped doing her best Pinkiemenia impression, responded "Everyone knows that I'm the funny one in the group. I'm the Element of Laughter for pete's sake. 4th wall breaking is serious business and I can let amateurs like you do it all willy-nilly or else it'll stop being funny. I'm a pro and you're just a noob".
Rarity did her classic "refined mare" pose and said "A renaissance mare, like myself, likes to expand my horizons and try new things. After seeing you break the 4th wall so often so often I wanted to see what it was like. And FYI I think I did a marvelous job. I truly do believe most of my wonderful audience enjoyed the way I did it. You are just afraid that I or anyone of the other girls could possibly do it and be better than you. All I hear from you, my dear Pinkie Pie, is the ghastly green tones of your jealousy."
Pinkie Pies face turned beet red. "ME?!!", she shouted, "JEALOUS OF YOU!!? That...That...!".
Pinkie Pie's face turned blank all of a sudden. Rarity started to worry that she had gone too far when she noticed the smile slowly breaking out on the pink mare's face.
"Hey!! gchamp89!!"
Wait. What?
"Yeah, I am talking to you!! Get your fingers moving and get the rest of the Elements here NOW!!"
What the hell? Pinkie, I hadn't planned on-
"Two things!! One: I have a lighter!! Two: I know where you keep your Deadpool comics!!"
While apologizing to the readers for the self-insert. He quickly wrote something that allowed the other Elements to make their way to the Carousel Boutique.
The bell above Rarity's door rang which signals a visitor. Rarity turned around, instantly recognizing the yellow pegasus mare that was walking towards her as the perpetually shy Element of Kindness.
"Hi Rarity", Fluttershy said her voice barely above a whisper, "I know it's not our scheduled spa day bu-", She then noticed the other mare in the room, the pink pain in my-"Do you really want to finish that sentence?" Nevermind. "Oh! Hello Pinkie Pie, what are you doing here?"
Pinkie Pie gave Fluttershy a cheerful smile. "Oh just getting the author to settle a dispute between Rarity and me. Speaking of..that's one down, keep'em coming gchamp!"
Confused, Fluttershy turned to Rarity and whispered "Who's gchamp and what is going on?"
Before Rarity could answer her ears picked the oddest sound. It sounded like orange mare and a cyan mare were about to crash through her upstairs sewing room window and hit the floor with enough momentum to cause them to bounce and tumble along the floor out the room and down the hallway until they hit the wall and rebound down the staircase and land in a tangled heap with the cyan mare on top of the orange mare behind Pinkie Pie while screaming for their lives.
She heard wrong. The orange mare was on top of the cyan mare.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "You couldn't have brought them here WITHOUT wrecking my shop?" Sorry, I was in a rush.
The orange earth pony mare stood up and dusted herself off with her trademark stetson, "That is the LAST time Ah'll ever go along with one of your harebrained stunt ideas!", said Applejack "Nearly done broke every bone in body."
The cyan-colored semi-delusional pegasus, replied, "Geez Applejack, relax. Any landing you walk away from is a good landing."
The rainbow maned pegasus proceeded to stand up and start to strut as if to prove her point.
Applejack rolled her eyes and said "Yeah well Ah much prefer to walk away from a 'non-crash landing' thank you very much." Turning towards the other mares in the room she smiled, "Howdy ya'll, sorry about the surprise entrance.... and sorry Rarity about yer house."
Rarity replied, "It's quite alright I'm sure gchamp89 would be more than happy to pay for an-"
Rarity's strange and incoherent mumbling was interrupted by a purple flash in the center of room. All the mares turned towards light and saw a majestic, regal, purple alicorn.
Who was soaking wet, quite pissed off, and ranting like a madmare.
"That does it! I am getting rid of those stupid touch faucets! 'Oh Princess Twilight, they're so convenient' and 'They're the latest fad in Canterlot', well the 'latest fad' can kiss my big purple-" Twilight stopped suddenly realizing she was in Rarity's shop and no longer in her bathroom at the castle. "Why did I teleport all the way here when I wanted to go back to my room?"
"BECAUSE!" Pinkie Pie yelled while pressing her nose in Twilight's face. "The author brought you and the other girls here so I could formally challenge you all to....the 1st annual 4th-Wall Battle Royale!!!" Numerous pyrotechnics started going off in the background as she finshed.
Twilight backed away slowly and took in the confused looks on everypony's face.
She then put her hoof on her face and said "gchamp89. What. The. Hell?"
Sorry.
Author's Note
I have no idea what just happened. I just started typing and this happened. Please don't think I'm a narcissist because I definitely didn't plan to do a self-insert.
I will make update this as often as I can but I do have school and work to do around the house so I'll do my best.
Thank you for reading and any helpful advice is appreciated. I'll fix the grammar mistakes when I can.
