beezlebub's game and trick shop

by thatguy45

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Random
Length: 3477

there's a new store in ponyville, and twilight and friends are determined to figure out it's secret.

beezlebub. everyone knows him.

he runs a particular shop.

there are three things to do there, with it's own set of rules.

first, you can purchase something. all the things in his shop are for sale, and based off another pony who bought something.

second, you can play a game. he has every game imaginable.

and third, you can challenge him to a game. that's where the fun really starts

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-31 19:52:54 UTC

game two: twilight.

Twilight looked at the Coupon on her desk. It read:

Hey, you lucky egghead you! You’ve either been stealing, or made someone very happy!

You’ve gotten a rare demon coupon, and it will allow you to enter Beelzebub's shop at anytime, and if you turn it in, you get a free tool, object, or weapon from the god of mischief himself, BEELZEBUB!

Of course, you can also use it to access the upper room of the shop where you and a friend, if they also have a coupon, can play a game! AND, if you’re lucky, you can ask Beelzebub himself to play a game!

Fun!

Twilight looked at the coupon like it had just grown a face. Crippling under the curiosity, she grabbed the coupon, and told spike, her pet assistant dragon, that she was going out.

Walking down the street to market district, a thought passed through her mind.

'She had absolutely no idea where the shop is.'

That one sentence had completely stopped he run her tracks. She face hoofed and looked or any tell tale signs of a three story shop painted blood red. Walking aimlessly, she eventually walked into a part of ponyville she had never seen before. A building dominated the district. It was exactly like the store pinkie had described. Walking up, she noticed that the shadows seemed to make the smiling face on the front look more... ominous. Shrugging it off, she walked to the door and knocked once. The door swung open, and the coupon in her hoof was picked up by a sudden gust of wind and blown into the dark opening.

Gulping she followed the slip of paper. When she had passed the threshold the door swung shut leaving her in perpetual dark, with only her horn to light her way. Using the same spell she had used in the canterlot caverns. Walking slowly down the hallway, she noticed that she had long since passed the end of the shop from the outside. Looking at the multitude of shelves on both sides of her. They were full to the brim with old and mystic items. She wanted to go and look at them, but whenever she deviated from going straight forward, she suddenly felt a sense of uncontrollable dread, that nearly sent her to the ground. Deciding not to waste much more time, she started running.

Panting and gasping she collapsed. She had been running for at least 20 minutes. Coughing, she shut her eyes for a second, and snapped them open a moment later. There, before her, was a door.

It was a nondescript red door, with a silver handle. The paint was slightly faded, and it seemed to be moving towards her. Getting up, she looked at the door, and reached out her hoof. The silver handle came right to her. With a breath she didn't know she was holding, she threw open the door, and saw a nondescript room. It was white. Walls: white. Ceiling: white. Everything white. The only thing she noticed that was different was a scrap of paper in the middle. It was the coupon. Lifting it up she saw that it was now blank. Without warning everything blacked out.

She woke up with a start. Looking around, she saw that she was at home in her bed. Swinging her head around, she poked around for anything amiss. There were two things that she noticed. One: the clock was set at 11:59.  And there were two things on her nightstand. A silver doorknob, and a small pamphlet. Picking up the two things. She shrugged. Putting them on the nightstand, she went back to sleep.

fluttershy

Blue bonnet tried to keep her eyes open.it was a tiring day. Not that anything had happened. Being a new establishment in a strictly traditional town had its problems. She put her head down and moaned.

"U-um, excuse me?" she gasped awake and smashed her head against a beam that inexplicably appeared right above her head. She swore she could hear the building laugh.

"Ah, yes! What can i do for you?"

The yellow and pink Pegasus simply tried to become smaller. "Ah, um, well, i was, ah, wondering if... i could... cash in this coupon.

She blinked. ' I thought that only ponies at the party got coupons?' she facehooved. 'Duh!'

"Of course, dear. What’s your name?"

"Fluttershy."

"Well, fluttershy, my name is blue bonnet. It’s nice to meet you."

"It’s nice to meet you to."

'Man, this filly is quiet.' "Well if you need me, I’ll be in back. Just look around and try to find something that you like." she nodded and started looking at the stuff on the walls.

Fluttershy p.o.v

Most of the things on the shelves were scary. Or intimidating. Or the light hit it in such a way that the shadows seemed to make them larger.

Majoras mask, a mystical wish-granting mask.

...She didn't need any wishes today. She was content with her life.

One hundred years, a book chronicling the life and times of an immortal. Includes audiobook and detailed formula.

...She didn't want immorality.

Wigglytuff. Warning! may try to kill you in your sleep!

...Yeaahhhh, no.

Black power ring. If you didn't read the comic, gives you the power over life and death.

Her eye twitched. 'Life... and death?'

"Are you okay?" she jumped, and looked behind her.

It was blue bonnet. "I see you’re interested in that little ring. Truth is told, i don't know much about it. My husband would know more. He knows everything about everything in the shop. But he was dared to eat a steak by Vlad and he's in the hospital. For now at least. And before you ask, yes the coupon covers the ring. You can buy anything from the shop with the coupon."

"Um... twilight told me that when she went in the shop that it was all dark and a long hallway and a white room, and all sorts of stuff."

"Ugggh, don't get me started. We’ll never live that down. You see, my husband had a thing to do, and Vlad, summer, and me it was our day off, you see?" the butter yellow Pegasus nodded. "Good. So he called in a favor from one of his friends. I use that term as loosely as i can. More like former business partner. His name was azrael, and he's the weirdest pony I’ve met."

"How weird was he?"

"He’s so weird that he freaks out discord."

"He’s met discord?"

"You mean discords met him. And yes."

==========

Discord sneezed and looked around. "Hmmm, some pony is talking about me. I wonder who it is..."

==========

"I was there when they first met. It was monumental. Azrael kicked him in the nuts, and ran away laughing. Discord just lay there, holding his crippled junk. He said something like, 'you asshole! Fuck you!' "

Fluttershy giggled a little. "I think it's time to go home, blue. But i would like to meet up again."

"Sure! How about three O'clock at sugar cube corner on Sunday?"

"Great! It’s a date!" fluttershy gave the blue earth pony a hug and waved goodbye.

Blue bonnet tried not to admit it, but she looked at fluttershy's butt when she was leaving. Unfortunately Beelzebub saw it.

"Blue and flutters, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-" that's as far as he got before a blue hoof smashed into his face.

rainbow dash

The tinkle of a bell was the only indication that the door had been opened. In walked rainbow dash, strangely on the ground.

"Ah, dear rainbow. What brings you to my humble abode?"

Dash jumped a bit and tried to find out where the voice was coming from.

"Ah, pardon me." with that Beelzebub appeared from behind a stack of boxes. "Now, what can i do you for?"

He flashed a grin.

She said, "yeah, hi. I’m wondering, why you’re just showing me this."

"Que?"

"Well, twilight said that she had to practically search the whole town for you store, and even now, a month later, she won't tell us what happened inside the shop."

"Ah yes, she came in the day after the party, right?"

"Yeah."

"Yes, well, you see, i had some urgent business to deal with back home, and it was the day off for Vlad, summer, and blue. So i called in a favor, and had one of my friends, Azrael work the shop for a few hours. I apologize for any undue stress i may have caused her."

"Yeah, well..."

"Was that all that you were here for? If that was, then you’re blocking the exit."

"NO! I'm... well..."

"Ah, i see. You came here to cash in your coupon, correct?"

"Y-yeah."

"Then by all means, peruse my shop." and with that, he disappeared behind the stack of boxes, leaving rainbow dash to look around. At first, she was a little spooked, but eventually she looked all the stuff on the walls. To her surprise, not only was everything clearly labeled and spread apart on the shelves evenly, but also they even had a bit of back-story.

' Book of Solomon, ancient spell book that belonged to a king of ancient times.

She wasn't a unicorn, so she couldn't use it.

IPhone A, a regular iPhone, but with every single app ever. Summers favorite!

She didn't know half the words in that sentence, so she moved on.

Dick-plant, for the bored female. Hours of entertainment! I am not a crook!

... She moved on again.

After an hour or so, she had given up. It didn't look like there was anything to peak her interest. Right then she heard a cheep. Looking down, she saw the weirdest thing ever. It was a spindly, black and white, and had a big red gem in the middle of its chest.

"I see that you've taken an interest in my little angels." she screamed and turned around. There stood Beelzebub, cheeky smile and everything.

"Gah, don't do that! But seriously, what is it?"

" That , my dear, is Sachiel. As i said, he's an angel. Part of a set, actually."

"What? An angel?"

"I don't like repeating things. So once again, say it with me, HE IS AN A-N-G-E-L."

"I thought that angels were all feathery."

"Totally different type of angel. Now, since they're all a set, the coupon will pay for It." he grabbed it out of rainbows saddlebag, and quickly teleported to the cash register. Before dash could do anything, she was now officially the owner of an entire set of angels.

"Good for you. I can't say that that's what i would have bought, but everyponies different. Have a nice day no refunds!" which that she was enveloped in green, then appeared in front of her cloud house. She looked around, the lowered her head in defeat.

"Fuck"

game one: welcome to ponyville.

Ponyville was very accustomed to strange things. Most of the ponies could boast that they were unable to be surprised, but this did.

A store, clearly three stories tall, had suddenly appeared in the middle of the market district, over night.

Pinkie pie was her usual bubbly self, bouncing along to a tune only she could hear, when she noticed a rather large gathering of ponies centered around a new building. She saw rainbow Dash and yelled, much louder than she should have,

"HI, RAINBOW! WHAT'RE-" she was quickly stopped by a cyan hoof in her mouth. She casually noticed that it tasted like strawberries.

"Pinkie, to early in the morning."

"Okay." pinkie was jumping around rainbow, who was floating about a foot off the ground. "What’s all this?"

"A new store opened and it's pretty interesting." to show her, rainbow lifted her about ten feet in the air.

The store was a blood red color, and had a smiling face on the front, in white. A large sign, in green, said, 'Beelzebub’s game and trick shop!'

As if on cue, the door to shop opened and a navy blue earth pony mare with golden hair walked out. She yelped in surprise when she saw the huge group of ponies surrounding the opening to her shop. Not that they mattered. When pinkie saw her, she screamed in happiness, causing rainbow to drop her into the crowd, who provided little resistance as pinkie pushed, shoved, and 'shoryuken-ed' herself towards the mare. When the carnage was over, the only ponies without at least one quickly healed bruise was pinkie, rainbow, and the blue mare. Pinkie stood before her and stared at her for a few seconds, before saying,

"HI! MYNAMESPINKIE! WHAT’SYOURNAME-?” the pink party pony was once again stopped early by a cyan hoof in her mouth. Pinkie noted that this one tasted like banana.

"Sorry, my names rainbow dash. Pleasure to meet you." rainbow pulled her hoof out of pinkies mouth, wiped it off, sniffed it, mad a grimace, and extended the other hoof instead. The blue mare flinched then tentatively gave a small hoof shake.

Rainbow smiled and said, "Who're you?

"Um, my name's blue bonnet."

"Really?" that's your name?"

"Yes." she showed her cutie mark off to the two mares. Of course, it was a navy blue summer bonnet, with white lace. "See?"

Rainbow looked at it, and nodded. "So this is your shop?"

"N-no, my husband runs it. I just work there." she casually wrapped her hand against her belly, which slightly bulged.

"So where's your husband?"

"He tends to sleep during the day. Summer and me work the day shift. He says that the strangest ponies come around at night."

"Weird."

"Yeah, but he's really nice once you get to know him."

The three ponies, by that point, had started walking down the main market street, and she was looking down the stalls, occasionally buying something.

"So, is he a thestral?"

"No, but he is odd. He likes the night, and get's sunburns easily."

"Does he like parties?!?!?!?"

"Yes, he does. He especially likes games. And jokes. And pranks, and sweets, and laughing and food and drinking and cider and bringing in friends that I’ve never met before and quite frankly some of his friends scare me and-" the mare continued and you could practically see her personality come out. Rainbow noticed a bit of fluttershy, mixed in with little bits of twilight and applejack. She continued ranting until pinkie appeared in front of her.

"Hey!"

"Y-yes?"

She pushed two slips into her hoof, and said, "I hear-by invite you to your own personal pinkie party! And your mysterious husband!"

"Um, okay."

"Great! Meet me at Shugarcube corner at five o'clock! See ya!" and with that, the bubbly pony jumped off to invite the rest of her friends.

Blue bonnet watched as the oddest being she had ever met wandered off, and looked at rainbow dash. She could only say one thing.

"Seriously?"

5:00 on the dot.

Pinkie had everything ready. Her friends, music, games, lots of food, and gummy.

As she expected, a small knock came from the front door. 'Squeeing', she ran up and threw it open.

Three ponies stood there. Two of them she had never seen before, and one of them was blue bonnet.

"Hi pinkie, am i late?"

"Nope! On time!"

The three ponies walked in, and the two she had never met introduced themselves.

A rather large stallion, big enough to put big mac to shame, with a grey coat and a dark red mane, with a cutie mark of two stakes, crossing over a heart, looked the mares over with a look of neutrality. He made a little shrug, as if he was a bit disappointed.

"Ah assume that this handsome stallion is your hubby, Mrs. bonnet?"

The three of them looked at each other, than burst out laughing.

"No, not a chance. This is Vlad, a pony that works for him, definitely not my husband. He’ll be coming in later."

Vlad bowed to the mares and moved over to the food table.

Bonnet motioned over to the other mare, which had a small smile, but was more focused on a strange contraption in her hoofs. She was a light shade of pink, with orange hair. A picture of a white contraption with a green thing on the top, adorned her flank.

"This is summer. No last name."

Summer nodded to the other mares and moved over to the left side of the room.

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, made a small, 'hmmmm,' and grabbed bonnet and moved her over to her friends.

Twenty minutes later and another knock, slightly smaller than the one before, came from the door. Pinkie rushed forward, and threw open the door. There, stood a changeling. He was decked out in a red suit, red top hat, and a red cane. He had red eyes, and a red mane. He walked in and hung up his hat on the rather convenient hat rack right next to the door. Pinkie noticed that this changeling was noticeably taller, and two sets of wings. He was about to say something, when an orange hoof hit him in the face.

The changeling was sent back into the door, which buckled in half, sending the poor thing all the way outside. He righted himself mid air, and landed on all four legs. Shaking his head, he barely had time to react as rainbow dash smashed into him and sent him sprawling away from sugar cube corner.

"Hah!" rainbow dash grinned as a red blob of energy just barely grazed her. Reeling backwards, she didn't notice the red flash of light that signified a teleportation spell. She did notice when a red diamond cane bashed into her face. Gripping her face she watched, rather awestruck, as the same cane came out of nowhere to whack heron the small of her back, making her wings go taut, sending her out of the sky.  She was helpless to do anything as the changeling came down, and was about to bring the cane down on her head. She also watched as a blue hoof, far faster than she could've, slapped the changeling in the face. She briefly heard a small exchange before she blacked out.

"Beelzebub! What did i tell you about fighting!?"

"She attacked me first! You saw!"

"that doesn't give you the right to-"

Rainbow awoke with a start. Looking around she saw a rather pissed off blue bonnet, and the changeling, nursing a bruise that covered the left side of his face.

"- And that's why you and rainbow did nothing to him, but my punch connected."

"The other five nodded, when fluttershy noticed that rainbow was awake. "Oh! Rainbow! Your awake!"

"No shit" she mumbled as she tried to get up, and promptly fell back again. "What did that thing do to me?"

"You mean Beezie? He essentially paralyzed the joints in your wings. The fall to the ground didn't help. Neither does the fact that that you were laying on your wings for the past 20 minutes." pinkie blasted off. "Also, why do your hooves taste like strawberry and banana, respectively?"

"Why does your breath smell like pussy?"

"Because i was at twilights house, before i ran into you, silly!"

Every pony looked at pinkie and twilight. Twilight shrunk down into her chair, while pinkie's smile had only grown.

After a few seconds, applejack said, "ooookay then. Well, rainbow, i don't think that you were ever properly introduced to Beelzebub." she nodded to the changeling. "And before you ask, he's not a changeling, he's a changeling king."

The rainbow Pegasus looked over to Beelzebub. "Charmed. When does the paralysis wear off?"

"Right about now."

Exactly as he finished that sentence, her wings instantly felt infinitely better, and she jumped up. Shaking her wings out, she pointed her hoof towards Beelzebub. "Why is a changeling here?"

"I opened my store here."

"Why would you open it here?"

"I like the atmosphere."

"Don’t you know that changelings aren't liked here? You could get run out of town!"

"I’ll have packed up and left by then. Tell you what. I’ll let each of you," he pointed at the six ponies, "have something out of my shop, free of charge. Come by tomorrow."

The six of them had mixed reactions to that statement. Rainbow dash was stretching, trying to get some feeling back in her wings. Twilight had one eyebrow lifted, as if to say, "really? Your offering six mares, two of which tried to kill you, free stuff?”  Fluttershy had already fallen asleep, and rarity was pigging out at the buffet table. She didn’t know why. She just was. Applejack and pinkie pie weren't listening, as they had somehow started a drinking contest. Pinkie was winning.