Broken Butterfly

Chapter 5 – We Are Each Other

Twenty four hours later.

Fluttershy was sat on the sofa in her room of the castle, reflecting on the last day of her life. It was late afternoon and it would have been cold were it not for the fire raging in the grand fireplace. Though not as opulent as Luna's chambers it was by no means sparse. Fluttershy wasn't interested in the décor though, she was staring into the flames, lost in her thoughts as the heat washed over her.

She recalled waking, if waking was the right term as she hadn't really been asleep. Fluttershy preferred to think of it as waking. She had awoke to consciousness on Luna's bed, the princess's hand in hers, the mumbled declaration of love on Luna's lips. She had hugged and kissed the princess as she herself stirred awake. Fluttershy remembered flinching as she squeezed Luna's hand, as she discovered those terrible scars on her hands. She remembered everything she had put Luna through while in her head, every torment she had inflicted, every second of pain Luna had endured along with the knowledge it was fully her fault.

She had caressed Luna's cheek as she had woken up, intent on caring for her, to put it right in some small manner. Then Luna had focused on Fluttershy, seeing her for the first time. As long as she lived Fluttershy promised herself she would never forget the look on Luna's face as Fluttershy had touched her cheek. Luna had shrunk away from her touch, a scared terrified look on her face, her wide eyes flickering in all directions. She looked less like royalty and more like a wounded cornered animal desperately seeking an escape. Fluttershy had tried to comfort Luna, but the more she tried the more frightened Luna had become, until she looked as though she would pass out from sheer terror.

Celestia had intervened then, placing a single hand on fluttershy's shoulder, motioning her to get off the bed. Even this backwards action had elicited whimpers of panic from the stricken princess. Only when Fluttershy was a good two feet from the bed did Luna's breathing return to somewhere near a normal rate, her panic subsiding as her sister sat next to her.

Fluttershy wanted with all her heart to reach out to Luna, but Celestia held her still in her gaze. Fluttershy briefly met her eyes. There was no anger, no hate in Celestia's visage. Her countenance was unreadable. A small shake of her head told Fluttershy not to try again. Celestia's voice, kinder than she had any right to expect, requested she leave together for now, to find the chambers she was in now and to wait for her once there.

Fluttershy had of course fled the room like a scalded rat, and immediately secured herself in this room. Celestia had given no hint as to how long she should wait, and Fluttershy certainly wasn't going to push her luck by asking anyone. She was certain there would be punishment given out at some point, and that Celestia was taking her time devising a suitable one to fit the crimes she had committed yesterday.

My crimes. The thought sent a shiver through Fluttershy despite the warmth of the fire. She began to list them in her head. Kidnap, false imprisonment, GBH, assault, murder, attempted murder, and probably a few others she couldn't imagine. Then her imagination took a stroll along the path of whatever punishment Celestia had in mind for her. Exile? Banishment? Prison? Execution? Fluttershy knew Celestia was benevolent but she had to have her limits, surely? And Fluttershy had tortured her sister. She had to admit her situation looked pretty bleak.

That was the worst part of being made to wait here, in this gilded cage of a bedchamber. The 'not knowing' was driving Fluttershy crazy. She'd rather get it over with, but was in no position to hurry things along.

So here she was, sat on this sofa, being warmed by the fire in front of her. She hadn't seen or heard from anyone at all for a whole day. The thought of flying out the window had occurred to her, but she would be hunted and returned here anyway so she saw little point in trying it.

Presently there was a knock at her door, snapping Fluttershy out of her reverie. It opened as she looked up to reveal princess Celestia, still dressed in her simple nightgown and robe. She walked over to the sofa, taking a seat beside Fluttershy. She turned to take in the yellow Pegasus next to her, Fluttershy felt like she was being inspected. Celestia's face gave nothing away, no hint to what her mood was or how she felt about Fluttershy. Under her scrutiny Fluttershy couldn't help but avert her eyes, casting them anywhere but at the Alicorn sat next to her. After a few minutes of silence Celestia opened her mouth to speak at last.

Fluttershy cut her off. “Princess Celestia, before you begin, may I say that I accept full responsibility for my actions yesterday, and that I am prepared to accept any judgement you wish to lay upon me…….I am, deeply ashamed of what I did, and I am willing to accept any punishment you deem necessary.” Fluttershy finally looked Celestia in the eye, and found she was still unreadable.

“You are aware of the maximum penalty for the crimes to which you confess?” Celestia's voice was soft, even. Not a trace of anger.

Fluttershy nodded slowly, tears forming in her eyes. “I am, princess.”

Celestia gave a very small smile, “Then in my capacity as princess of the sun and co-ruler of Equestria, I forgive you.” Her smile widened at the look of shock on Fluttershy's face.

“What?, but I, I mean, why?”

“Fluttershy if I were to judge you for the events of yesterday than I would have to judge myself as well.” At Fluttershy's puzzled look she continued. “I insisted Luna enter your mind. She warned me of the risks involved, but still I pushed her. She would have done it anyway I think, but I insisted. That guilt lies with me, and me alone.”

“Why would princess Luna have done it anyway?”

“Because she felt responsible for you.”

Fluttershy was confused. “Responsible, how?”

“Luna felt responsible for the attempt you made on your own life. Luna knew you were plagued by nightmares following Rainbow Dash’s death. She used her magic to enter your dreams and alter them, to give you peace. In doing so she inadvertently set you on a path that led to your attempted suicide.”

Fluttershy was stunned. Luna had tried to help her?

“Why would she do that?”

“Isn't it obvious? Luna loves you. Has done ever since she saw you in the gardens at the Grand Galloping Gala. I told her to go and say hello but she was too scared, so she watched you from the shadows.”

“She was scared, of me?” Fluttershy found that hard to believe, even her birds weren't frightened of her.

“You must understand, that night wasn't long after you and your friends had purged the taint of Nightmare Moon from Luna, she was still adjusting after her thousand year exile. Which is another reason I cannot judge you Fluttershy. You see I have caused more hurt and pain to my sister than you ever could.” A single tear rolled down Celestia's cheek.

“Princess?”

“You don't know the full story of Nightmare Moon do you?”

Fluttershy shook her head, beyond the official history no one knew anything.

Celestia took a breath, steadying herself. “Nightmare Moon was my fault. I created her. Luna was jealous of me you see. I created the day, and everyone basked in my sun, enjoying it, partying, celebrating and living their lives. I relished the attention. Then Luna would make the night. Oh she put so much effort into her night sky. It was beautiful to behold. But nobody played in her night. They shut themselves away to sleep. It broke her heart. She came to me many times, asking if I could help her. I ignored her. Told myself she was being silly. A resentment ate at her heart like a cancer, it slowly turned her into Nightmare Moon under my very eyes and I didn't see it happen.

Then came the day she refused to lower the moon. I battled her, reluctantly yes but I battled her. You know the rest, I won, if you can call it a victory. I exiled my own little sister to the moon. All she did was to ask for a little attention, from me, from everyone, and I punished her in the worst way possible. So you see, we aren't so different, you and I.”

Somewhere during Celestia's recitation Fluttershy had moved closer to her and held her arm around her, pulled her into a warm embrace. Without thinking she kissed Celestia's forehead gently.

"What was that for?”

Fluttershy smiled, “sometimes we all need to be shown a little kindness.”

Celestia sat up straight, extricating herself from Fluttershy’s gentle hold. A tremulous smile played across her lips. “Yes, yes we do. Now, one final thing I must ask you Fluttershy, and I would ask for an honest answer please. Do you love Luna?”

Fluttershy didn't have to think on her reply. Yes, she did. She knew she missed Rainbow terribly, but she also knew Dashie wouldn't want her to be lonely forever. Fluttershy had been given something to live for, and she had to seize it while the opportunity presented itself.

“Yes princess, yes I do. I love Luna.” Fluttershy felt good rolling those three words over her tongue, although she noticed a new sad look in Celestia's eyes as she said it.

A heartfelt sigh escaped Celestia's lips. “Then I truly fear for my sister. There will come a day when you will hurt her so much, when you will cause her so much grief and pain. And there is nothing anyone can do to prevent it.”

"B, but I won't, I love her, I, I don’t ever want to hurt her.”

A wan smile was her reply. “You will age, Luna will not. She will outlive you. As sure as I will raise the sun tomorrow Luna will bury you, and her heart will break.” Celestia placed her hand on Fluttershy's lips to stifle her reply, before continuing. “But between now and then, I want you to make my little sister happy. Give her every ounce of kindness in your soul, give her every day like it was the last day.”

Fluttershy nodded silently, fighting back her own tears, before a horrified look took over her face. “Princess, what, what about Scootaloo? If you have spoken to Luna about what happened, you know about her?” Fluttershy began to weep anew, fresh tears falling down her face.

Celestia laughed softly, a gentle peal broke through Fluttershy's tears. She couldn't understand why the princess was laughing, after all she had shot a defenceless teenager. “Fluttershy, Scootaloo isn't dead, she's perfectly alive. As soon as Luna told me everything that happened I checked with the school and her parents. She stayed home today, something about waking up with a very painful headache.” Fluttershy tried to suppress the giggle, and failed miserably.

“Now,” Celestia continued, standing from the sofa as the fire died out, “Go and see Luna, she has been asking after you for hours. Remember what I said, make her happy. And please, from now on, call me Tia.”

“Yes prin……….Tia.” Fluttershy quickly corrected herself with a smile as Celestia shot her a mock stern look over her shoulder. Then she quickly hurried to Celestia's side as she held the door open for Fluttershy.

The princess gave her a gentle push towards Luna's door then made her way in the opposite direction, Celestia's words echoed in Fluttershy's mind “make her happy.”

Fluttershy approached Luna's door, knocking softly before she entered. Luna was laid in her bed, the sheets pulled up around her, she looked to be sleeping. Fluttershy made her way over to her bed, a gentle flap of her wings brought her up to sit beside Luna. The disturbance roused Luna from her slumber, her eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at Fluttershy sat beside her.

“Hey princess.” Fluttershy greeted her with a smile, not wanting to get close in case Luna panicked again. “I, I'm sorry for what happened before.”

Luna returned her smile, sitting herself up in her bed she made to take Fluttershy's hand in her own, this time it was the Pegasus who pulled away, flinching at Luna's touch.

"Your hands, I, I can't believe I did that to you, I'm so sorry.”

Luna reached up to Fluttershy’s face, running her hand over her cheek. “Its ok Fluttershy, really.” This time Fluttershy didn't flinch away.

Fluttershy reached up, took Luna's hand in her own, holding it in place, her fingers running over the scars. Fluttershy brought Luna's hand to her lips, asking the question with her eyes. “May I?” Luna nodded hesitantly. Fluttershy gently kissed her hand, kissed the scars.

“So, um, where do we go from here?” Fluttershy asked, still holding Luna's hand.

“Would you stay with me, here tonight, just hold me?”

Fluttershy nodded silently, lowering herself next to Luna and rested her head on the princesses shoulder. “What about the moon?”

“Tia's doing it, said we needed ‘alone time’. Hope she wasn't too hard on you?”

"Not at all, we helped each other I think.” She kissed Luna's shoulder. “Thankyou Luna.”

Luna frowned slightly. “For what?”

“For finding me in my cottage, for saving me. For loving me.”

Luna held her reply as the moon was raised in the sky for that night. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Especially Celestia's added element. There, on the shining white face of the moon were Luna and Fluttershy's faces in profile with a little heart between them. Fluttershy saw it with a gasp.

“It's beautiful, thank you princess.”

“Lulu, please. No formalities between girlfriends. After all, we are each other.”

They spent the rest of the evening and night like that, their first night of many together. Held in each other's arms, enjoying their company with the moon and stars. Fluttershy sighed a contented sigh into Luna's shoulder and smiled. Everything really was going to be just fine.