Here goes...
If I died today, nothing would be different. The sun would still shine. The moon would still rise. The tree of harmony would still protect the land. The wind would still gently caress the trees, the rain would still drip on the rooftops and life would go on. Mares and stallions would grow from small newborns into fine, strong beings. Equestria would keep growing, changing, and forming. So... Why not?
Those undeniable facts floated in my head, clouds drifting through the darkened sky. What really would change? After the big fight, I wondered if anypony would miss me. I would miss them. But what was the point if they couldn't return the favor?
The whole situation had started a moon ago. A shining moon ago. A regular day in the peaceful town. But apon further inspection, one could infer that this was not the peaceful town it seemed from far away. If you were to look closer, you could see turmoil in the quiet. A purple mare with both wings and a horn blessed to her stood over a cowering pegasi of the pastel yellow color variation. The pegasus had her wings flattened to her back, the alicorn positioned hers straight up. A clear exchange of unfriendly words was taking place. If you pricked your ears and blocked out outside noises, you could hear their conversation. The alicorn shouted in a furious voice.
"FLUTTERSHY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS!?"
"Twilight! I-I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"OH YOU- HELL NO FLUTTERSHY!" The pastel pony quivered noticeably, small blue drops of liquified pain forming at the edges of her eyes. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WAS ALL AN ACT TO GET THAT BUCKING PERMIT SIGNED!"
"I-I keep telling you! I never saw that contract to carry those changelings across the border!"
"Oh, that's a lode of bullsh*t Fluttershy. We all saw you. We've given you credit for mistakes like this so much, you just take advantage of us!"
"I-I promise! I don't know what you're talking about! Please just listen!" The alicorn blinked dismissively. She then whipped her head around, followed by the rest of her body. She stalked away, kicking a shower of dirt into the crouching pony's face and mumbling,
"Go to hell Fluttershy. Equestria is screwed because of your BUCKING ANTICS."
That day, it started going downhill. And it only got worse from there. Word spreads quickly in the nation of Equestria you know. Soon everyone was taking moments out of their lives to criticize me for letting the changelings loose. Even the princesses wanted me to be sentenced to the dungeons. I, of course, had no idea what was going on. It was... All too much. So on the faithful day of which I previously spoke, a quivering hoof held the shard of glass which was to seal my fate. It felt so cold, so unwelcoming and yet so invitingly crisp. The promises of a new chance awaited me... I tightened my grip on the pointed shard and began to slowly move it towards my neck, taking a last deep sigh, squeezing my eyes shut and preparing to strike...
When I felt something else.
It wasn't an emotion, no.
It was a physical feeling. I opened my eyes, glancing at my left foreleg where the small impacting feeling was deriving from... And I saw a small white foot kicking my own repetitively. It was my Angel. He looked up at me with deep, pooling eyes of worry. And at that moment I got it.
The sun may still shine, the moon may still rise, the wind may still rustle the trees, and things would still go on. But some things would change.
The way I wouldn't be around to sing the raccoons to sleep. The way I couldn't help Harry the bear with his medical issues. The way I couldn't protect the squirrels. The way Angel would wake up every morning to find a cold fireplace and an empty food bowl. The animals would all be captured if the forests were cut, and my cottage being where it was was the only thing preventing them from being cut. Maybe...
I was needed.
I widened my eyes as I released my grip on the shard, hearing it clatter onto the wood floor and feeling a wave of relief. I smiled and reached for Angel bunny, feeling his soft snowy fur on my cold to the touch hooves and swooping him into a tight hug that only an angel deserved. My hooves left the ground as I flapped a couple wingbeats to the air. Angel appeared to know he had just stopped something bad from happening, and a smile of his own spread across his face, returning the hug lovingly. It was rare for my little Angel to be this affectionate...
Then again, it wasn't every day I attempted to end it. Maybe...
Maybe I would find out who really got those changelings over the border. Hell, I would.
I would. But for now, Angel needed me.
"Lets get you your dinner. Extra turnips, just like you love!" Angel's ears pricked noticeably at this notion, and he nodded with some amount of enthusiasm. I slowly and carefully lowered both of us to the ground, still shaking slightly from the thoughts of what I almost did. I glanced to the piece of glass laying next to my very hooves on the floor, and I carefully kicked it to the side. I wouldn't be needing it anytime soon. Angel gave me a final, heartwarming nuzzle before poising his feet, leaping from my embrace and colliding with the floor, scampering towards the kitchen in a flurry of white. I smiled warmly, and whispered under my breath. "Thank you my Angel. Thank you so much."
Author's Note
Well, thank you for reading! I thought I'd do a suicide/conspiracy theory thing.
You're amazing! You keep me going guys ;)
