Atomic turns on camera, and stands. She didn't like being on camera, but she figured showing this to the kid she would be a "role model" so to speak would giver her some what of a chance to fix what ever she screwed up in the future.
"Hey kid. This is your cusion Atomic. Well, chances are when your watching this your my age, and I'm about 21, since I'm 11 now. So, here I am in my prime, still messing around and yelling constantly. If I still do that now then.. then uh, ignore that. I'm not to sure what to tell ya kid, but I'd like to tell you what my plans are for me and you. Well lets see, it's 12:30p.m. right now, and your mom just went into the hospital room."
She paused for a second, letting the meds she was on kick in. She then took a long, drawn out breath. She knew of corse that she would screw it all up somehow, but wanted to keep her head held high, not letting her insecurities get the best of her. She had no clue what the kid she was talking to would think of her eleven years from now. Chances are the kid would hate her, but maybe she had a little hope that she would make it through life without making to many enemies.
"Well Kid, I'm gonna spoil you rotten. And if I don't now then, tell me to get you something nice. I'm not gonna get you a puppy, cuz that be lame. But uh, maybe I'll get cha one of those, oh what are they called... shit... oh, sorry for 'cussing'. Then again when your my age that could just be some sill kids word but uh, I think it's pretty cool to say it."
Atomic takes a deep breath, smiling a bit at the camera. She was pushing down her tears. She didn't normally talk about the future like this, let alone to a pony who wasn't even born yet.
"You, you kid, you've got big shoes to fill. You know, you know what your sister did when we were little? She hid in a corner as I ran around smacking things off tables. But, kid if I hear about you hiding like that I'll talk with you. And if I haven't yet then go get me right now and we will. Now, I might act and look a bit different than I do now. This is actually the calmest I've been in weeks, but I am high as a kite on pain meds. If you don't know what that means then ask me, but *chuckles again* don't tell your mom or your sister. They'd kill me if they knew I was teaching you stuff like that."
"But... Kid, if things are happing when your my age, say I've screwed everything up or I've been kicked out of the family for some odd reason, i want you to know I never meant to hurt you. I mean, I know you might think that Miss Blast is mean, or that I'm "uncouth" as auntie rarity says... but I try all I can to not hurt any one."
She pauses, and begins crying in pain. She takes a deep breath and shudders, trying to just wish the pain away like a little filly.
"So kid, I'm not in the best shape right now as you can see. I've had 6 back surgeries, and at this point it's really bad. But I hope you don't get like this. Everytime your sick I'll... I'll buy you a new toy. Or something like that, I donna what you like, maybe candy or something like that. Your probably a unicorn, at least from what I've heard. Maybe your one of those unicorns what can heal themselves, twilight say's those are rare. Well, lets see, I'm in physical therapy and some counciling, my mother and father think I'm "depressed" or what ever. Uh... I love you kid, and If i haven't told you that a lot smack me over the head with a lamp."
She takes another deep breath, whimpering in agony. She then holds her head high, and smiles at the camera.
"So, uh, Kid. Yeah. I'm gonna go now, I'll see you when your born and you'll see this in 11 years. Y- no. Kid, you are gonna be the most awesome kid in the school, and your gonna be so smart just like your sister. And it's gonna be sweet. Yeah, It will be. It will be."
Atomic takes one final pause, and turns the camera off. She takes a deep breath, and waits, for the new little thing that would come into existence in about two and half hours.
Atomic was in her bed, home alone, in pain that was completely unimaginable to her. She had had the back surgeries before, but none of them ever hurt this much. She tied to sit up, taking out her little camcorder her mother gave her.
"Hey, kid. Heh, it's weird calling you that now, since I know your name and that It's your birthday today. I'm so, so sorry I couldn't be there kid. I mean, I really really wanted to go, I promise me being in the hospital isn't just some excuse to get out of hanging out with ya. I uh... s-sorry kid I... I don't know why I'm crying...."
She started to cry, tears rolling down her face, staining her cheeks. She started to shake, and she realized she was about to film herself breaking down and show it to this little unicorn when he's older. She then realized, she couldn't not talk about it any longer.
"I... I'm s-scared kid... I never thought it would get to this point. I'm so.. so so sorry I'm not good enough. I uh.... But I-I just... I can't do this anymore kid.... I I'm so sorry..."
Atomic turned the camera off, and tied to make her way to her parent's room. Once she was there, she sat on the bed in exhaustion. She pulled the pistol out of her dad's drawer, the one he kept incase of robbers or whatever. She held this hunk of metal and steal in her own hooves, shaking. She put the gun into her mouth, and pulled the trigger.
