Pinkamena and Cheese Sandwich

“Today’s the day!” Pinkie whispered excitedly as she tucked Gala into her bed. She leaned down to kiss the little one’s forehead. “Today’s the day I get married to Cheese, your daddy.” Pinkie whispered to the already sleeping filly.

Pinkie heard soft, quick hoof steps as Cheese walked into the room, “Are you ready?” he asked, being as quiet as possible. Pinkie kissed the little sleeping filly once more and then she nodded. She left the room right behind Cheese and they prepared the basement for their guests who would be arriving soon.

They had just finished and were back in the shop when their first guest, Twilight Sparkle, arrived. Of course she would be first, she had always been quite punctual.

“Hi there.” Twilight said.

“Hi Twilight!” Pinkie chirped happily.

Twilight smiled and walked in. She sat down at one of the tables and said, “The other girls should be here soon.”

“Wonderful!” Said both Cheese and Pinkie. They looked at each other and smiled. Then, there was another knock at the door and Fluttershy walked in with Rainbow Dash flying in right behind her.

“Oh. Hello Pinkie. Hello Cheese.” Fluttershy said quietly as she walked in.

“Hi guys,” Rainbow Dash said as she flew quickly in and took a seat next to Twilight.

Cheese and Pinkie returned the hellos as the five of them waited for the others to arrive. Applejack came with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. The two young fillies looked very excited, but Applejack seemed like she didn’t want to be there.

“Big Mac ain’t comin’.” Applejack said very matter-of-factly. “He’s too busy with all the workin’ he’s been doin’ lately.”

“Oh, that’s alright.” Pinkie said, not even a sliver of disappointment showing through her cheerful smile.

“Ummm….. Could me and Apple Bloom see your foal? Umm… Please?” Sweetie Belle asked. Apple Bloom stood next to her nodding, as if she planned on asking the same question.

“Of course girls.” Pinkie said, smiling. “Follow me, but you need to keep quiet, she’s sleeping right now.” The girls nodded and Pinkie led them up to where Gala Amour was sleeping.

“Awwww, she’s so cute!” Sweetie Belle whispered when she saw her. Again, Apple Bloom just nodded, her mouth open in astoundment.

“Apple Bloom, are you alright?” Pinkie asked quietly. Apple Bloom closed her mouth, looked at Pinkie and just nodded and Pinkie cocked her head.

“Apple Bloom stopped talking around the bigger ponies ever since Applejack started her heavy drinking,” Sweetie Belle explained, still cooing over Gala.

“”Oh, well, Apple Bloom, honey, you can talk to me whenever you need to. Ok?” Pinkie said, wrapping her foreleg around the little one.

“O-ok….” Apple Bloom said quietly, her voice cracking. Pinkie smiled sadly at the poor little filly.

“Applejack must be torturing the poor thing. Probably not as literally as I torture ponies but still. I wonder how Big Mac is treating them. Would he neglect them since he works so much? Is he nice to them? Does he treat them with love and care? Or is he mean and does he abuse them like Applejack does? Does he drink as much as she does? I just hope they’re in good hooves. I’ll see to it that I find out and take custody of them if they’re aren’t being treated fairly.” Pinkie thought to herself.

“Alright girls, how about we get back downstairs?” Pinkie asked. The fillies nodded and they all made their way back to the others.

Pinkie served everyone a small piece of cake, some punch, and a cupcake. Once they had all finished eating and drinking, they chatted with each other until Pinkie decided to start everything, but to their surprise, Pinkie left. Cheese stayed, but Pinkie left to go somewhere. It didn’t seem like she left the store, but she certainly left the room.

Most of them just acted like nothing had happened and continued talking, but after a few minutes Twilight started getting suspicious. A little while after Twilight had begun acting strangely, Cheese spoke up. “Alright everypony, it’s time for the wedding, follow me.” Cheese walked to the basement entrance with  the rest of the ponies followed him.

They made their way down the dark, damp staircase. None of them freaked out. When they made it to the bottom, the entire room was completely dark. Cheese moved behind all of them so none of them could leave, and then he turned on the light. The room was suddenly filled with the sounds of screaming and hooves clicking on the floor as the ponies tried to get away.

“Girls, girls. Calm down, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Pinkie said as she stepped out into view, wearing her cutie mark dress.

“Pinkie Pie. Oh Celestia, what have you done?” Twilight asked, staring at her. “Are you wearing a dress made out of other ponies’ cutie marks?”

“Yes!” Pinkie chirped happily, twirling around. “Do you like it?”

“No! Pinkie! This is horrifying, what have you done?” Twilight asked again.

“Isn’t it obvious? Cheese and I are the reason that so many ponies have disappeared lately.”

“D-did you….” Sweetie Belle swallowed nervously and then continued, “Did you k-kill Rarity?”

“Yes, we did.” Cheese said from behind them all. The girls seemed to have forgotten he was there, and they all squealed and turned around.

“Everyone hated her, so its not like we made Equestria a worse place.” Pinkie continued, taking a few steps toward the group of scared ponies gathered in her basement which she had used to torture so many ponies before. They turned back around to face her since she was the one talking at the moment.

“You got that one right.” Applejack said laughing, her voice loud, and slurred. She was the only one among them, besides Pinkie and Cheese, who wasn’t freaking out. Sweetie Belle glared at Applejack for a moment before bursting into tears.

“Wait. What about Scootaloo? What have you done with her? You monster!” Apple Bloom shrieked.

“We haven’t done anything to Scootaloo.” Pinkie said plainly.

“Then wh-”

“It was me.” Said Rainbow Dash. “I took Scootaloo-”

“s Life?” Finished Apple Bloom.

“No, I took her to live with me. I was scared for her, ever since I started hearing about all the disappearances of ponies. She’s safe, and she misses you girls. All she ever talks about is all the crusading you could all be doing if she was with you.”

“Oh, well that’s one good thing out of all this.” Apple Bloom said, giving Sweetie Belle a weak smile.

“And Gala,” said Sweetie Belle. “She’s a good thing too.”

“Unless she grows up to be like her parents.” Fluttershy whispered. She meant it mostly to herself but because of the way the room was built, to hear echos, everyone heard her, and they all turned to her with open mouths and wide eyes.

“Oh… Goodness… I didn’t really mean that…” She said, shifting her hooves nervously.

“Oh, its perfectly fine.” Pinkie said. “But there is something I need to tell you all.”

“What?” They all asked at the same time.

“You see this? What Cheese and I do? We kill ponies and we harvest their organs-”

“Harvest them? You mean like you harvest apples?” Applejack asked.

“Yes.” Pinkie continued. All the interrupting was reminding her of when she and Cheese had disposed of Rarity. “We harvest their organs and we use them as ingredients in our sweets, mostly the cupcakes. That’s why they always taste so good.” Pinkie explained, carefully studying each of her guests’ expressions.

“That’s…..” Rainbow Dash started.

“Disgusting!?” Twilight suggested, yelling, her voice echoed through the quiet room, bouncing off the walls and into the other ponies ears, causing them to flinch at the sound.

“No.” Rainbow Dash said. “I was going to say, that its… Awesome!” She took off and flew a quick lap around the room, landing back where she had started.

“You’re insane Rainbow Dash. And so are you.” Twilight said pointing a hoof at Pinkie and another at Cheese.

“Well, Dashie, I’m glad you’re impressed. And as for you Twilight…..” Pinkie said, walking towards Twilight, as an abnormally large, evil-looking grin covered almost her entire face.

“W-what?” Twilight said, backing away. “I… I didn’t mean anything by it… P-Pinkie, I… I think what you do is ummm..… Wonderful! Yes! Wonderful…. I uhhh.. Oof.....” Twilight grunted as she backed into a wall, puncturing the lower part of one of her back legs on a spike that was stuck to the wall.

Fluttershy gasped when she saw the blood start to pool around the wound. Twilight stepped away from the wall, the spike coming out of her leg. Blood nearly exploded out of where the spike had been and Fluttershy fainted. The other girls gasped and stepped away from both Pinkie and Twilight.

“Oh, its alright girls.” Pinkie said, moving closer to Twilight. She pulled out a roll of gauze and began to wrap up Twilight wound. Twilight was shaking all over and tears were pouring out of her eyes.

“There we go!” Pinkie said happily as she stepped away from Twilight. There was now a white stripe on her back leg with a tiny red dot on it that was slowly getting larger.

“Thank you…” Twilight said cautiously.

“Anything for my friends.” Pinkie said smiling.

“So, does that mean you won’t hurt any of us?” Fluttershy asked in a quiet whisper as she was getting back up.

“That’s right! I would never dream of hurting my friends, that’s why I took all of you off of my list. Unless, of course, if you tell anypony about my big secret. Then I will hurt you.” She said, that over-sized grin appearing on her face once again.

“But Rarity was your friend, wasn’t she?” Sweetie Belle asked, still crying a little.

“No, I really always hated Rarity. I only pretended to like her because I was friends with all of you.”

“Oh…” They all said.

“Well, just fer the record…..” Applejack said. “I didn’t really like her all that much neither, I’m kinda glad you killed her. And if ya don’t mind my askin’, how did you kill her?”

“I snapped her neck.” Cheese answered.

“That’s kind of dull, don’tcha think?”

“Yeah, but on the bright side, at least she’s dead now, right?”

“Hehe, eeyup.” Applejack said drunkenly.

“That’s not the bright side!” Sweetie Belle countered.

“Not for you it ain’t.” Applejack said.

“Now, now. Lets not fight.” Pinkie said. “We are all here for the wedding of Cheese Sandwich and Pinkamena Diane Pie. Let’s get started, shall we?”

The girls all nodded and Pinkie gave Cheese a look that told him to move away from the exit and to get where he was supposed to be. He hesitantly left his previous spot to go change into the suit Rarity had made for him in her last days.

When Cheese came back he was wearing his own set of cutie marks and when he stood next to Pinkie they looked as perfect as a serial killer couple could be.

“Well…” Pinkie started. “I’m not really sure how weddings are supposed to go.” Everyone looked at each other, exchanging looks of confusion.

Twilight stepped up, “Princess Celestia taught me the basics, perhaps I could help?” She took another step forward and then winced and sat down, extending her hind leg so she wouldn’t damage it any further. “Never mind…..” She said awkwardly.

Pinkie looked at Cheese. “Lets just say we’re married now and go party!”

Cheese laughed, “That works for me. But first…” He leaned in and kissed Pinkie.

“Awwwwww…..” Their audience cried.

“That’s sooooooooo adorable!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly, momentarily forgetting the fact that they had brutally killed her sister just a few weeks before.

“Alright everypony, it's time to paaaartay!!!” Pinkie shouted out, once she and Cheese were done kissing. She carefully pulled off her cutie mark dress, motioning for Cheese to do the same. Then they all went back up to the main store for more cake and celebration.

For the rest of the evening, none of the ponies mentioned anything about the whole serial killer thing, until when it was almost time for everypony to go home. They were all standing by the door saying their goodbyes when Twilight asked, “What about Spike?”

“Huh?” Everyone said at the same time.

“Spike.” Twilight said. “What about Spike? I haven’t seen him in days, did you guys ever do anything to him?”

Pinkie opened her mouth to say that they hadn’t but Cheese spoke up first. “I actually just saw him the other day, he looked awful. He was ramping on about how someone must have taken Rarity away and he was crying. I felt really bad for the little guy, so I gave him a cupcake, one of Rarity’s cupcakes.”

The adult ponies all snickered while Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked up at them with confused looks on their faces.

“So, just to clear things up, Spike is alive and you have done nothing to harm him?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know whether or not he’s alive, he could have killed himself or fallen from a tall place on accident. But no, we have done nothing to him. I also have no idea where he could be at the moment.” Cheese said.

“Well, now I’m both worried, and relieved.” Twilight said, giving them a faint smile.

“Alright, well I’m glad we got that out of the way.” Pinkie said, “Good bye everypony, feel free to visit any time. Oh, I should go check on Gala.” She said, hurrying up the stairs to where her foal slept.

“Bye guys, I mean girls…” Cheese said lifting a hoof to wave goodbye.

Fluttershy stepped right in front of Cheese, her nose just inches away from his. Cheese stepped back but Fluttershy moved closer to him, she looked angry or upset, or both.

“I swear, if you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING to hurt Pinkie Pie, then I will personally find you and kill you in the worst possible way. Do you hear what I’m saying?” Fluttershy asked, stomping her hoof on the ground.

“Uhhh….. Y-yes….” Cheese said trying to back up another step.

“Good.” Fluttershy said, spreading her wings and gracefully flying out the door. The other ponies stared at her with smiles on their faces as she flew away, and Cheese watched her go with his mouth agape.

“Wow…. I never knew Fluttershy could be that scary.” Cheese said.

The other girls laughed and they left Sugarcube Corner together, joking about how assertive Fluttershy could get when she really cared about something or somepony.

Cheese closed up the shop and went up to see Pinkie Pie. She was sitting next to Gala’s crib, nursing her back to sleep. Once she was asleep, Cheese and Pinkie left her to go talk.

“So, what do we have next on our agenda?” Cheese asked.

“Oh… You’ll see,” Pinkie said grimly. “The tip of that spike that Twilight backed into was poisoned with a very slow acting poison. She’ll suffer over a set period of time and then she’ll be dead in about a week. The other girls will wonder what happened, and I’ll act innocent, maybe even cry a little. Then, when they least expect it…….”

“Hey, Pinkie. Are you alright?” Cheese asked, and Pinkie snapped out of her evil thoughts.

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking. Lets go get some sleep.” She said walking to their bedroom, and Cheese followed her, still feeling confused.

The couple snuggled up into their bed. “Cheese?” Pinkie asked him as they lay in their bed and stared up at the ceiling.

“Yes?” Cheese answered back.

“I love you very, very much.”

“I love you too Pinkie, with every single fiber of my being.” Pinkie turned her head to look at Cheese and smiled at him. Cheese looked back at her and smiled as well. They fell asleep soon after, making sure to keep their door open just in case Gala began crying and they needed to go check on her.