Pinkamena and Cheese Sandwich

“W-what?” Cheese asked, attempting to grasp what she had said as the truth. “Y-you mean like, for real?”

Pinkie smiled and nodded. “I’ll only let you be the father on one condition.”

Cheese frowned, “and what would that be?”

“You need to stop….” Pinkie paused and looked at Cheese’s foreleg. “Stop cutting yourself.”

“Oh…” Cheese said, looking down as his foreleg. “I can do that,” he looked back up at Pinkie and smiled.

“Why did you start anyway?” She asked, concerned.

Cheese averted his eyes from hers and searched for the right words. “Well, the other day when you left for work, I noticed that you were walking, and I know that you usually hop everywhere you go. So, I got all worried and stuff. I thought that there might be something wrong with you and you just didn’t love me enough to tell me. So I thought that I wasn’t good enough for you, so I came down here and…..” he stopped talking, seeing the terrified look on Pinkie’s face.

“And you know the rest…” He said.

"Cheese, honey, I love you, and nothing in Equestria can change that.” She paused, “well, except maybe Discord, but he’s reformed, so you have nothing to worry about.”

Cheese laughed and relaxed. Pinkie nuzzled him and kissed his cheek.

“Now, come on.” Pinkie said as she stood up, “lets go to bed.” They started for the stairs and Pinkie heard Cheese wince, and she turned back around. “But not before I put a bandage on your leg.”

Cheese laughed half-heartedly and followed Pinkie to the cabinet where the bandages were. Pinkie put some ointment on the cuts and wrapped his leg up.

“There,” she said. “Now, lets go to bed.” Cheese nodded and walked up the stairs with Pinkie back up to their room. They got into bed and went to sleep.

The next morning Cheese’s cuts had healed up a bit and he was back on his feet, more or less. They had decided that once Cheese had fully recovered, they would kidnap Rarity and bring her to their basement.

* * *

A few days later, Rarity had showed up at Sugarcube Corner. She wanted to talk with Pinkie about her…. “situation” with  Cheese. “This is the perfect opportunity to kidnap her.” Pinkie pondered when she arrived. Pinkie sprinkled some powder tranquilizer on a cupcake and gave it to Rarity.

The girls talked for a little while, and Rarity munched on her cupcake, and soon she began to feel tired, and dizzy. Then she fainted. No pony else was in the shop at the moment so Pinkie and Cheese used this to their advantage and dragged Rarity’s motionless body down to the basement.

As Cheese tied her up, Pinkie ran back up the stairs to run the shop. There was only a little longer to go until closing time. Once closing time came around, Pinkie flipped the open sign to closed and locked to door. Then she went back down the basement, where Cheese was waiting, making sure Rarity stayed unconscious.

“Thanks for waiting,” Pinkie said as she descended the stairs.

“You know I would never start without you,” he said and smiled at her.

Pinkie smiled back and then looked over at Rarity who was tied up and unconscious. To Pinkie’s surprise, she had a long stream of drool running from her mouth, down her torso and down her back left leg and dripping from her hoof onto the floor. She eyed it and thought, “And I thought she was so high maintenance.”

The two of them waited for her to wake up, for the third and final time. She blinked, yawned and looked around. Her eyes grew wide as she looked around at her surroundings.

“Where am I?” She asked. Pinkie and Cheese noticed that it wasn’t fear that occupied the main emotion in her voice. It was…. delight.

“You’re in the basement of Sugarcube Corner,” Pinkie said plainly, confused as to why she wasn’t screaming and struggling in her restraints.

“Oh!” She piped up. She looked around once again, “Well, Pinkie, Cheese, I absolutely love what you both have done with the place. Is that blood dripping down the walls? It looks lovely, and the red color of the blood mixes perfectly with the gray color of the walls. It looks just like taffeta the way it's layered like that." She said with a small squeal.

Pinkie and Cheese exchanged confused looks. Cheese took one of their sharpest knives and walked up to Rarity. He chopped her horn off with the knife and to both his and Pinkie’s surprise, she….. moaned? Yes, that was definitely a moan.

Pinkie and Cheese were both sadists, but they had never dealt with a masochist before. Cheese looked back at Pinkie and smiled, she smiled back. They were going to have a lot of fun this time around. Unless she got really annoying, in which case they would just kill her instantaneously.

Pinkie and Cheese had discussed torturing Rarity so they had many ideas about what to do. They started how they start with everypony. Since Cheese started last time, Pinkie got to start this time. She grabbed a scalpel off the table and stepped closer to Rarity. Then she paused in thought and stepped back.

She pulled Cheese away from Rarity and began to whisper to him. “Don’t you think Rarity could make you a cutie mark suit? Like I made my cutie mark dress. She’s not struggling or screaming and I’m sure she would cooperate quite well if we kept her chained to something so she couldn't escape.”

Cheese nodded, “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. But, we can still torture and kill her afterwards right?”

“Of course. Do you think I would pass up an opportunity to kill Rarity? I hate her stinking guts; she’ll probably make horrible cupcakes. But we should tell her that if she makes the suit that we’ll let her live. Although, I’m not sure why she would want to live without her horn.”

Cheese smiled and shrugged, “that’s just how ponies are. They have a desire to live, no matter how deformed they are. Have you ever noticed that even when our victims have no legs and their horns or wings are cut off, and their cutie mark has been removed, they still beg to be set free, for us to let them live?”

Pinkie nodded, “Yeah, I know, it’s so retarded.”

Cheese coughed and gave Pinkie a stern look.

“Right, right, mentally challenged. Sorry.” Pinkie corrected herself, not wanting to offend anypony.

Rarity coughed, “Ahem. Are you forgetting about somepony?” she asked, being the attention whore she is.

Pinkie smiled at Cheese and he smiled back. They turned around at the same time and Pinkie spoke to her. “So, Rarity. Since you didn’t ask, I’ll just explain this situation to you. So you see, when I was a filly after I got my cutie mark and discovered my destiny, I became the super duper party pony I am today. I began to bake, and I made cakes, cupcakes, muffins, brownies, cookies, you know, sweets and stuff. But I started with cupcakes. Mainly because cupcakes were, and still are, my favorite. I would always get my parents and sisters to try my cupcakes and they would always tell me they were good. Just good. Never great, or amazing, or perfect. So I continued to strive to make the best cupcakes I could.

“One day, I was upset because I had made another batch of ‘good’ cupcakes, and I was rummaging through a drawer of knives. I accidentally cut my hoof and I brought it up to my mouth and licked the blood off of it. The blood had a particularly interesting flavor to it, and I thought to try it with one of my cupcakes. I used the fluffy interior of the cupcake to soak up the blood and then I took a bite.”

“Was it good?” Rarity asked.

“Shut the hell up. I’m getting on with the story.” Pinkie growled, irritated.

“Oh, right, sorry.”

“Anyway…. I took a bite of the cupcake with my blood on it, and realized I had found the secret ingredient to make my cupcakes perfect. So the next time I made a batch of cupcakes I kidnapped a pony and brought them into my parents old shed. I quickly killed them and cut out their organs and baked them into my cupcakes. I disposed of the body in a large ditch covered with rocks.

“My parents and sisters said that my cupcakes were amazing, not just good. I was so happy. The next time I made cupcakes I was caught harvesting my special ingredients-”

Rarity gasped, “oh no!”

“Ahem…” Pinkie coughed impatiently.

“Oh, sorry….”

“Yeah…. Anyway…” Pinkie continued.  “My sister asked why I was killing them and taking out their organs. I told her and she said it was brilliant. Then she told me that I should torture them instead of just killing them, and I protested by saying they would scream and I would get caught. Then she told me that I should torture them in a cave and then bring their organs back to the shed. I thought that was a great idea and from that moment on she and my other sister joined me and we began harvesting together. We began to cut off and keep the cutie marks, horns, and wings of ponies we murdered and baked for memorabilia.”

Rarity was tearing up, “that is such a touching story.”

Pinkie smiled, “I know.” At least someone appreciated it.

“We have a proposal for you Rarity,” Cheese stepped up. He motioned with his back leg for Pinkie to go. She walked off to go put on her cutie mark dress. “I bet you can’t guess what Pinkie did with the cutie marks she collected.”

“I probably can’t. Do tell,” Rarity said eagerly.

“Well… She sewed them together and she made a dress.” Then, as if on cue, Pinkie walked back in wearing her cutie mark dress.

“Oh, Pinkie, darling. You look absolutely gorgeous.”

Pinkie smiled and curtsied, “Why, thank you, Rarity.”

“Did you make it all by yourself?” She asked.

“Yes I did. Now-”

“How long did it take you? How many cutie marks are on it? How many ponies did you have to kill to be able to make it? Wha-”

“Rarity…” Pinkie growled.

“Yes, terribly sorry darling…. Please continue.”

“Cheese and I would like to ask if you would make a suit for him out of cutie marks, in the same manner I’ve made this dress. I’m not sure if I could do it, and I’m pretty sure Cheese doesn’t know how to sew.” She looked at him disapprovingly, and he smiled awkwardly.

“Of course, anything for the lovely couple.” She paused, “However, I’m not sure I can work under these conditions.” She tugged on her restraints, as if to prove her point.

“Duh,” Cheese said very matter-of-factly. Pinkie nudged him roughly. “Ouch,” he mumbled, “Oh, uhhh...… Yeah, we know that, we’ll let you go if you agree to make the suit.”

“Cheese….” Pinkie groaned under her breath.

“I mean….. What do I mean?” He asked Pinkie. “I’m still kind of in shock from when you told me-” Pinkie nudged him again, and nodded her head towards where Rarity was tied up. “Oh, right….” He said. “You want to keep that a secret for now.” Pinkie nodded.

“Well, in any case, I will most certainly make that suit for you, Cheese.” Rarity said. “Although I’m sure it will be quite the challenge without my horn.” She laughed her fake ‘just-trying-to-lighten-up-the-mood’ laugh.

“Yay!!” Pinkie shouted, and she jumped up into the air.

Rarity smiled at her friends’ enthusiasm, “now, lets get started, shall we?”

“Yes indeedy!” Pinkie left to go get the box of cutie marks they had decided to use to make Cheese’s suit. She set them on the ground in front of Rarity, and then got to work on untying her. Cheese had left the basement to get Pinkie’s sewing machine from their bedroom.

He came back carrying the sewing machine on his back. Rarity had been untied and Pinkie was fastening a ball and chain to her back left hoof. Cheese put the sewing machine on the open spot on the table with the torture tools.

“Thank you, these working conditions will be wonderful.” Rarity scooched the box of bloody cutie marks to the table so she could have easier access to them while she was working. She picked a few of them up with her hooves and examined them together, and then she began sewing them together.

Pinkie and Cheese smiled at each other and then began to walk up the stairs. They were stopped by a harsh, “WAIT!” from Rarity. They turned and walked back down the stairs.

“What is it Rarity?” Pinkie asked.

“Well,” she started. “If I am to die down here, I would very much appreciate it if I could have some of your delightful sweets to snack on while I work.”

Pinkie smirked and swished her tail at Cheese and he grinned at her. “Well of course,” Pinkie said. “We would be glad to accommodate your needs.”

“But, you will have to pay for them. Oh and you’ll also have to pay for that cupcake Pinkie gave you earlier.” Cheese added.

Rarity’s cheerful smile faded. “Why, why this is an outrage!” She shrieked. “How dare you kidnap me, tie me up, cut off my horn, force me to make a suit out of other ponies cutie marks, threaten to torture and kill me, and force me to pay for sweets!!” Rarity looked like Fluttershy had looked at the grand galloping gala. She seemed to be snorting fire and smoke out of her nose and she was out of breath from all that rampaging.

She looked angrily up at Pinkie and Cheese and they both had one of their hooves up to their mouth to try to muffle their snickering. She stared at them in awe. She shrugged it off, and sighed, “Well, if I’m to die anyway, I assume there’s no harm in paying.”

“You know what they say about assuming,” Cheese said. “It makes an ass out of you and me.”

Pinkie giggled and Rarity made a disgusted face. “Please just fetch me a sweet of some kind. I would really love a cupcake that isn’t poisoned.” She said, her cheery mood returning.

“I’ll go grab that for you and I’ll put the price on your tab.” Pinkie said joyfully, and she walked up the stairs.

Rarity sighed and got back to work on the cutie mark suit she was making for Cheese Sandwich. “Oh, wait,” she called after Pinkie.

Pinkie’s head appeared at the bottom of the staircase, “yes?”

“Could you get me a napkin or something? The blood from when Cheese cut off my horn, it’s getting in my eyes, and it’s quite difficult to see.” She wiped a bit of the blood off her forehead.

“Sure!” Pinkie said happily and went back up the stairs. She came back a bit later with a cupcake and a napkin. “Here you go Rarity.” she set the cupcake and napkin on the table next to the sewing machine and left, after checking to see how much Rarity had done on Cheese’s suit so far.

Rarity thanked her and used the napkin to wipe the blood out of her eyes and then she took a bite of the cupcake. She relished in the flavor and then continued working, saving the rest for later.

One day went by. Then two. Then four. Then one week went by and Rarity still hadn’t finished Cheese’s suit. It was pretty close to done, but not quite. Cheese had even been secretly urging her to finish it as soon as possible without Pinkie knowing what he was doing.

Finally, one week and three days after Pinkie and Cheese kidnapped Rarity, she finished the suit. Cheese put it on and Pinkie and Rarity examined him in it.

“Oh, Cheese,” Pinkie said, “you look wonderful.” She smiled at him and went to go put on her cutie mark dress and get a camera.

She came back down wearing the dress. “Ooooh,” Rarity cooed. “You two look absolutely lovely together. It’s like you’re a little serial killer family.” She smiled.

“I’m glad you think so Rarity. Would you mind taking a photo so I can put this in our scrapbook?” Pinkie asked, handing Rarity the camera.

Rarity took the camera, “Of course. Now, I want you to stand in front of the banner that says ‘Life is a Party’ and smile.”

Pinkie and Cheese did as they were told. Once Rarity had taken the picture Pinkie took the camera from her and pulled the picture out of the picture socket thingy and went to her and Cheese’s room to put it in the scrapbook. Cheese stayed in the basement to tie Rarity up so he and Pinkie could finally rid Equestria of this annoying, selfish, snobby, thinks-she’s-better-than-everypony-else bitch.

Pinkie came back down to the basement, now not wearing her cutie mark dress. She was ready to torture and kill Rarity. “My only regret is that I didn’t make this bitch my first victim.” Pinkie thought as she walked towards Rarity with her favorite knife, rather than just using a scalpel like normal.