MLP: Physics is Magic

by Philosophysics

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Random
Length: 1552

An antisocial, autistic physics Grad Student prodigy is taking Applied Physics. The fun kind. However, Discord tries to pop his belief in physics by forcibly bringing him over, after the insults. You have to feel sorry for him. Discord that is.

Darwin is an orphaned prodigy. He is eighteen years old and was studying at a university. I say was because he insulted Discord as he was watching MLP in a physics class trying to prove Pinkie Pie's hammerspace works allowing the One Time Miracle Occurrence.

Who will win? Physics or Magic?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-17 01:10:02 UTC

Prologue

In an Applied Physics class, students are working on their projects. This is the fun kind of physics class though. Its the kind where you allow an One-Time Miracle occurrence for an impossible event and see if it can work.

A good example would be something like the proof for the Jaegers in Pacific Rim. That was a good proof there. Another would be superhero proofs such as Is Spiderman's webs strong enough to support his swings?"Concievably everthing has a possible explanation if you allow a One-Time Miracle Occurence.

So as of right now the students are having a good time referring to their videogames, their comic books, their shows, etc.,etc. They are having fun together having discussions and whatnot about the plausibility of things.

One student however is sleeping. Outright Snoring. Next to him playing is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Return of Harmony Part 1. You know, the one where Discord makes his first appearance. The Physics Professor who was previously quite happy with the class walks over and whacks his head.

"Wake up, Darwin!"

"I'm waking up! I'm waking up!" Darwin jerks his head up. He is the only 14 year old in this college class. Child prodigy, extremely antisocial, you get the gist. Your stereotypical child prodigy with one quirk. He likes My Little Pony. Another quirk is that he is extremely confrontational with figures of authority or people telling him what to do. He also cannot see the fourth wall. So...

F*** YOU A**Hole!!!!!!!!!

Now that's out of the way...

"Get to work! Your project was to prove that Pinkie Pie's hammerspace is similar to real-life hammerspace. Or that it can even plausibly work and how it would work."

"But I'm done" He whines.

"Well, your proof, correct as it was, is short. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FIVE PAGE ESSAY!!!!!"

"Not my fault! I just proved it in just three!!!!!!!!" The professor pulls his ear.

"Then do two proofs!" The professor walks away. He smiles to himself. His nephew is quite intelligent, but not very motivated though.

"Ugh! Fine..."  He thinks to himself,"Simplifying the fourth dimensional pocket in Doraemon is basically the same thing as having a portal to another dimension. That dimension would be a empty, blank dimension which an unknown, possibly infinite amount of dimensions exist if you happen to use the One Time Miracle Occurrence for that. The pocket would be a continually open hole to that dimension. Which conceivably can store up to an infinite amount of items with the handicap of the bag never being heavy as it really is just a portal. By that logic Pinkie Pie's hair serves as a portal to that area." He turns around and glares at everyone.

Most of the students were looking at him quickly look away. He sighs. "Meh..." Glancing back at the scene playing now, the scene where Ponyville is a disaster, he groans," Oh come on, half of those things aren't very chaotic. I mean bunnies with freakishly long legs. Genetic disorder. Chocolate Milk Rain. End world hunger." He gripes about Discord's fallacies for a while. Getting back to work now, he decides to work on a similar proof for Dorameon's Fourth Dimensional Pocket. Why? Cause he's lazy. The two things are similar. What he's going to do is come up with explanation number two.

Discord is casually causing havoc in Ponyville when he feels a disturbance in his EGO. Yes EGO is in all caps, thank you very much, it shows that it is a force of nature. It really is. Discord senses that somebody doubts his chaotic-ness(Is that even a word?) So he decides to skip past the fourth wall(Skipping me, the narrator), the fifth dimension(Aforementioned storage space or Hammerspace), and looking for the perpetrator in the other dimensions or planes of existences for the perpetrator.

Very soon, (With help from me) he finds the perpetrator. He notices that he is a very scientific teenager and decides to drag him out of that world. For malicious and mischievous reasons, he decides to break the poor boy's mind.

Darwin finishes typing up the proof on Word Docs and he is about to press save when a gaping vortex opens next to him. A voice very much like Q's from Star Trek comes out, "Come to me."

Contrary to all the reactions of his sensible classmates and Professor, of hiding under tables, which isn't very safe if you're in rural countries. However, my argument is invalid as this is in a perfectly modern country known as America. Anyways, he stands up and examines the vortex. He goes around back to check if there is a back to the vortex. There is none. "Interesting. It appears we have a one dimensional object here. He sticks his hand through approximately the area where the vortex is. He asks,"Are you guys able to see my hand, but not my body?" One of his acquaintances shouts,"Yeah! Hurry up and duck down with us. Darwin shouts,"OK!" Darwin walks around to the area of the population of the classroom is looking for his laptop... which isn't there anymore,"Oh COME on!" He turns to the Professor and asks ,"Uncle! Do you have it on Google Drive?"

The Professor checks it and shakes his head no. The Professor and Darwin look impossibly calm. "Dammit!" Darwin looks for it frantically and moans," Oh, well." Just as he walks back to relative safety, a voice speaks,"Come to me!" It sounds vaguely irritated now. Darwin shakes his head,"If you were here four years ago, I would come, but I'm not suicidal any more!" He runs as the vortex gets stronger.

Contrary to popular cliches, he actually makes it to the safety. Not so contrary to popular cliches, the vortex gets stronger beginning to suck things in. The students begin to panic as does Darwin."What do we do!?" Darwin panics the most, he thinks to himself,Oh my God this is the cliched part where I get sucked into the vortex and my uncle saves me causing me to become an obsessed person who seeks revenge,he begins to mutter ,"Oh my God! I'm so sorry for not making a donation! I'm so sorry for not praying! I'm so sorry for... etc. etc." His classmates begin to make the same frantic mutterings.

The Professor remains calm and shouts," Throw the desks!"

One student cries,"Why!?"

"If we can plug up the hole or we hit the entity behind it, it WILL shut down!" So saying the Professor throws the desk he was hiding under. All the students throw the desks in. Darwin throws desks too.

Finally, the vortex begins to close. And then it does!

Darwin turns to the professor,"I'm sorry Uncle. I think that thing was after me. I don't know why!"

The Professor pats him on the back and says,"Don't worry. We at least now know alien life exists. Now the problem is the proof..."

"This is so going on Youtube!" A student cries posting it. Darwin smiles, "What was that law again? Murphy's Law, right?"

Another student shakes his head,"I think you mean that Prove me wrong."

Darwin thanks him. Lets make a point clear. Darwin is polite. He is also antisocial. So he helps clean up and leaves.

Murphy's Law plays its part again.

Discord rubs his head. A large comical bump grows. Underneath the floating draconequis is a bunch of tables. He holds a flat silver object with an apple logo on it. The cause of his injured, concussed head is right there. Muttering to himself, he conjures a large mirror and searches for Darwin whom he finds quickly. He grins. "Let's play, little boy."

Darwin walks out of the building to find another vortex awaiting him. He grows an irritated tic mark on his forehead. He rushes back in and grabs the student who posted the video and asks,"Do you have a GoPro?"

The 21 year old woman is terrified of the 14 year old boy nods mutely. "Can I borrow it?" Another nod.

"Good!" He snatches it and leaves behind a crumpled fifty dollar bill. He swipes a plethora of physics items. The Professor stops him and says,"What do you think you're doing!?"

"I'm off to see the wonderful Wizard of Oz. No, I'm here to figure out what the hell is after me and all those stupid vortexes. I don't care anymore! I'm going to miss you Uncle. I'm going to miss you."

Darwin runs off with his bag full of items and grabs a metal pole also,"Don't forget the deal Uncle!"

The Professor nods waving mutely. A student asks,"What was the deal?"

"To post his death on Darwin Awards. Aptly named now, huh?" The Professor organizes his desk mutely.

Darwin stands at the front of the vortex. Discord awaits gleefully on the other side. He can't wait to pop Darwin's mind. Figuratively and Literally. Darwin holding his suitcase of stolen goods from various labs. He checks to see if he has everything he needs.

Toothpaste. Check.

Solar Panel. Check.

Physics Lab Book. Check.

Calculator. Check.

Chemicals. Check.

Etc. Etc. Check.

He then lights up a firecracker and throws it in, following it. The vortex disappears after a scream of pain. What's next?

A whole lot of running.