In the Navy you can...go to Equestria?
My name is Stanley. I was in the U.S. Navy until my 21st birthday. Before my second deployment, I decided to take my sorrows to a dingy bar in the middle of my home town Providence, Rhode Island. The bartender was a close friend of my father’s, so he slid a couple of free beers towards me.
“You look like shit Stan,” He said, “Got some Navy event or something?” he asked me looking rather interested at my Battle Dress Uniform, the dark navy blue color looking like black and grey in the dim light.
“Yeah Greb, I’m getting deployed again.” I said opening a bottle and taking a swig
“Jesus! Again?! Knowing your mother she’s probably worried sick! Where you off to this time?” Greb asked tried to lighten the situation.
“Gulf of Aden” I said taking another drink, “Task Force 151, Anti-Piracy.”
“Christ! Pirates?! For that take a shot on the house!” Greb said pouring me some vodka.
“Cheers Greb.” I said throwing the liquor back.
“Hey Greb, why you giving him so much free shit!” a voice came from behind me.
I turned my head to see a total stranger, or so I thought.
“Ah, Ken! Good to see ya!” Greb said
Ken was another good friend of my Dad’s, he had changed a lot from the last time I had seen him, big beard, and grey streaks in his hair.
“Ken, you remember Stanley right?!” Greb said excitedly
“No shit! Jamie’s son?” Ken said looking me up and down.
“You look a hell of a lot like your father kid!” He chuckled.
“Thanks Ken.” I said smiling
“Ken, did ya hear? Stanley’s going off to fight pirates in Somalia!” Greb whispered
“For real?” Ken said, looking blown away
“Yep.” I said, finishing my first beer.
“Well guys, I better be off. I’m on a plane to Norfolk tomorrow.” I said
“Good luck Stanley! Tell Jamie we said hi!” Greb said waving.
“Will do!” I said heading out into the raging storm outside.
I fucking hate this rain. Thanks for the great send off Mother Nature!
I heard a deafening crack and that was the last thing I remembered before everything went black.
“What is it?”
“How should I know Fluttershy?”
“Twilight might know, why don’t we ask her?”
“I’ll go find her.”
“Hold on Rainbow, I think it’s waking up”
My eyes slowly opened. I became aware of 2l things. First, I had the world’s worst headache. Second, I was looking at brightly colored....ponies? There wasn’t a shred of evidence that would make this possible, but somehow, I was in the world of Equestria. Back on Earth, I had followed the show that this supposedly fictional world had been a part of, hell, it got me through my first deployment!
I stood up, looking around, making sure I wasn’t fucking dreaming.
“WOW!”
“OH SHIT!” I screamed as a bright pink mass blindsided me and sprawled me on the ground.
“What does it say here on your shirt? U-S N-A-V-Y. OH! You’re in the Navy! That’s so cool! I always liked big ships and woa-” The pink mass bantered before I pushed her off.
I stood up and realized how much taller I was than these ponies. I looked around, recognizing each of them. Around me were Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity. Twilight,
sprinting towards them, stopped dead and looked up at me.
“Wow, a human. I thought they were just legends, but...wait, why are you wearing an Equestrian Navy uniform?” Twilight said
“Actually it’s a United States Navy uniform Twilight” I boasted
“Wait, how’d you know my name?” She said,
“Uh Applejack told me.” I stammered
“Ah don’t believe Ah told you mah name neither, nor did I tell you hers.” Applejack said.
“This is going to sound totally insane, but I’m from a different world.” I said
“Yea, we can tell.” Rainbow Dash retorted, “what we don’t know is how you know our names.”
“What is your name?” Twilight asked me.
“Petty Officer First Class Stanley Alvarez” I say, “or Stan, for short.”
“Very well then Stanley, since you seem to be adjusting to our world rather quickly, would you mind coming with me?” Twilight asked.
“Let me guess, you’re going to take me to Princess Celestia, aren’t you?” I asked, then quickly covering my mouth.
“Yeah....but first you’re going to tell me how you know all of us before your sudden transportation here.”
[pg bk]
“Well, that’s about it.” I say concluding, everyone sitting in the throne room of the Twilight’s castle.
I had explained to them how they were on a kid’s show back on Earth, what Earth was and how I got here.
“Weird, but why are you watching a show for kids?” Rainbow Dash asked
“This show got me through my first deployment in the Navy. It was the prevalent morals and themes of friendship that kept me in a good mood and prevented several nervous
breakdowns.” I say with all honesty
“So, would you like to see Princess Celestia now?” Twilight asked me.
“Why the hell not. I never thought I’d get here, may as well check another thing off my bucket list.” I say
“I’m going to teleport us.” she said
I had read enough fan-fiction to know that things could go terribly wrong, however before I could protest we were inside the castle.
“Twilight, how lovely to see you!”
I looked up and around to see the throne room and atop the throne sat the Princess of the Sun.
“Princess Celestia, I have brought a human that ended up here by chance. I was wondering what we should do with him?” Twilight asked
“Well now, I’m not surprised. Another human.” Celestia said stepping down from the throne.
Celestia was about twice as tall as an ordinary pony and just about eye level with me, so she looked me over in my uniform.
“You are not the first human to arrive here” Celestia said, “as a matter of fact I think that your uniform saved you from being attacked.”
“WAIT...WHAT?!” I say, now bewildered.
“Yes, humans started coming here 4 years ago. We have yet to find one that stays in line. There are about 30 of them, banished in another realm.” She said, her tone grim.
“What for?” I ask, now scared and curious
“Various crimes, mostly rape and murder,” Celestia said nonchalantly.
“Jesus, really?” I respond, my tone sheepish
“Yes, really now...” Celestia said resuming her examination of me.
“Hmm, I see, you are a member of some Navy perhaps?” She asks me.
“United States Navy” I say scratching the back of my head.
“Ah, now I have a very good use for you.” Celestia said.
“What is that your highness?” I asked, wondering what the hell was about to happen next.
“I was thinking you could become a member of the Royal Guard. You’re very fit, muscular, tall, rather handsome...” She said, describing me as if I didn’t know myself.
“Well, I don’t think it’s far away from what I would be doing at home.” I respond, a half-assed grin on my face.
“Very well, Stan, if I may call you that?” She asks
“Yes your highness.” I say in approval.
“Alright, very well Stan, I’ll have some custom armor made for you. In the meantime, you can keep your uniform on under your armor, seeing as you have no other clothes.” Celestia
said.
“Very well your highness, and thank you for not treating me like a scumbag. I have actual respect for these ponies and believe that I am equal to them.” I say, bowing humbly.