"Hey, do you know a pony named Pinkie Pie?"
"Oh, Pinkie? Yeah. She's friends with everypony in town!"
"Really? Great!"
"Do you know where Pinkie Pie is?"
"It's hard to pin her down, but try Sugarcube Corner. Take a right turn on the next intersection."
"I'm bad at directions, do you know where Sugarcube Corner is?"
"Oh, sure! I was on my way there, in fact. You can just follow me. By the way, what's your name?"
"Oh? I'm Minty. Nice to meet you!"
Pinkie Pie opened the oven and pulled the tray out. A sweet aroma filled the kitchen.
"That's cupcake 57, 58, 59, and 60! Just four more to go!" Pinkie Pie hollered for no good reason.
Rainbow Dash looked up from her Wonderbolts magazine. "Why 64?" she asked idly.
"Because it's two to the sixth, silly!" Pinkie replied as she put the cupcakes on display.
"Yeah, but, why so specific?"
Pinkie giggled. "Because two to the seventh isn't enough cupcakes and two to the ninth is too many," she said.
Rainbow rolled her eyes and went back to the magazine. Shortly afterwards, Scootaloo trotted in with a grin on her face.
"Hey, Pinkie!" Scootaloo said "There's a new pony in town looking for you. She should be here shortly."
Pinkie backflipped over the counter and landed so close to Scootaloo she bumped her with her nose. "Really?! A new friend?" Pinkie said. "And she's coming here so I don't have to leave my cupcakes alone? Yahoo!!" She leaped and landed on Rainbow's table. "Can you believe it Dashie?!" she yelled. "A new friend! I love making new friends! Do you think she'll be a young friend or an old friend or a red friend or a blue friend or maybe she'll even be a purple friend! Do you think she'll have paint so she can be any color she wants? Or maybe she'll have candy! I love candy! Do you think she loves candy? Huh huh huh?!"
Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow, unamused. "How the hay would I know? Ask Scootaloo, she met the pony."
Scootaloo grinned sheepishly. "Eh, I didn't get much. just that she gets lost easy and her name's Minty."
Instantly, Pinkie's wide grin melted away. "Did you say Minty? Green coat, pink mane, Minty?"
Scootaloo tapped her chin. "Yeah, I'd say so."
Pinkie frowned. "Was her cutie mark three mints?"
"Oh that's what those were!" Scootaloo chuckled. "How did you know? Pinkie sense tell you?"
"Why yes, my Pinkie sense does have something for Minty coming to town," Pinkie said, "and it's SEETHING RAGE."
Rainbow Dash dropped her magazine. "Wait, what?"
Pinkie giggled. "Oh, I don't actually have a sense for this, no." Her face quickly turned to a scowl. "It's just that I HATE HER FUCKING GUTS!"
Scootaloo backed away. "Pinkie, you're scaring me a little..."
Rainbow got up from her chair and swooped down next to Pinkie. "Yo, Pinks, back up a little. What's this all about?"
Pinkie sighed. "Minty was- is my ex-girlfriend. We dated in college for a few months. We-"
"Hold up!" Rainbow said suddenly. "You went to college? For what?"
"I majored in parties, obviously!" Pinkle giggled. "And minored in baking." She pointed at the diplomas on the wall. "I've got the accreditation to prove it! You see those 64 cupcakes? Those weren't by some amateur, that's for sure!" She beamed proudly.
"What were you saying before that, anyway? About Minty being your ex?" Scootaloo asked.
"Oh right," Pinkie said. "We were both in culinary classes, we talked a lot, started hanging out after class, and eventually she asked me on a date. We hit it off pretty well, I think."
"Sounds like everything was peachy, then. Why do you, uh, hate her guts?" Rainbow asked.
"Well that's an easy question, Dashie! It's because she did the one thing I absolutely totally will not never ever stand! She betrayed my trust! I let her into my heart, and she stole from me!"
Rainbow gulped. "Yeah, that'll do it."
Scootaloo winced. "What did she steal?"
"What did she steal? She stole my heart! I loved her, and what did she do? That heartless bitch went and threw it away! When she gets here, I am going to pound her fucking face in! AUGH!" Pinkie mumbled indiscriminately, swinging her hooves about.
"Scootaloo," rainbow said, "huddle."
Scootaloo jumped in. "What's up, Rainbow Dash?"
"Well, first," Rainbow said, "if I ever hear you speak like that I am going to wash your mouth out with soap."
"Yes, Rainbow Dash."
"Did this Minty seem like that mean of a pony to you?"
"No, Rainbow Dash, she was pretty nice."
"Then we don't have the whole story, and we can't just let her run into Pinkie like this, can we?"
"No, Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow looked up and around, then returned to the huddle. "Didn't you say she would be here?"
"Yes, Rainbow Dash. She shouldn't have been more than a few seconds behind me."
"And how come you always use my full name?"
"I just like the cadence it has, Rainbow Dash. It sounds neat."
"You're kind of weird, squirt."
"I know, Rainbow Dash."
A knock on the door broke the huddle. "Come on in!" Pinkie said, cheery as ever.
A green pony poked her head in. "P-pinkie? Is that really you?" Minty entered the building. "Ohmigosh I never thought I'd find my way here!" She turned to the blankly-staring Pinkie Pie. "Pinks, it's me, Minty! Remember? From college?"
"Oh, hi, Mints," Pinkie said with a scowl.
"It really is you! I mean, who else would you be but you, but, you know what I mean!" Minty laughed.
"And I was hoping it'd be anyone but you," Pinkie said darkly.
Scootaloo whispered, "Rainbow Dash, should we do something?"
"Let's, uh, just stand back," Rainbow whispered back.
Minty gasped. "Pinks, what do you mean? You can't still be mad about that, can you?"
"Yes, I am still mad about that," Pinkie said while furrowing her brow.
"Come on!" Minty pleaded. "I already apologized like a million billion jazillion times!"
"And all the apologies in the world won't change the fact that you're completely utterly totally undeniably EVIL!" Pinkie screamed in her face.
"Pinks, seriously, it is not that big of a deal!" Minty yelled back. "You're blowing this way out of proportion!"
"Oh, really, Mints?" Pinkie said sarcastically. "I'll show YOU proportion!" In the blink of an eye, Pinkie threw an entire cake at Minty, hitting her square in the face.
"Okay, that's it!" Minty said, reaching for her own cake.
"Calm down! That's enough!" Rainbow yelled, stopping the other two before they could launch a second volley. "When we start wasting cakes, we've gone too far!"
"Y-yeah!" Scootaloo added. "My parents always tell me, 'Scootaloo, cakes are for eating, not violence. You can't eat violence.'"
"Scoots, you've got some weird- we're getting off track here!" Rainbow turned to Minty. "Look, I don't know you, but I do know Pinkie, and... whatever it was may not seem like a big deal to you, but it really hurt her!" Rainbow looked back at Pinkie. "And you, could you tell us what whatever it was is?"
"I already did. She betrayed my trust and stole from me," Pinkie replied tersely while pulling a spiky cake from the oven.
Minty scoffed. "They weren't even that valuable!"
"It's not about that! It's about the trust!" Pinkie shouted.
"I said calm down!" Rainbow yelled.
"Maybe you're the one who should calm down, jumping into business you know nothing about!" Pinkie replied.
"Then tell us about it," Scootaloo said. "Like, literally, what did she do?"
"Oh I'll tell you what she did!" Pinkie said with a furious scowl. "She stole my laundry tokens, that's what the hell she did!"
The room fell silent.
"...Really?" Rainbow finally said.
"Yeah, that's probably the most absurd thing I've heard all day," Scootaloo said.
"You're all alike!" Pinkie snapped. "Too caught up in the hollow revelry of material wealth to appreciate the intangible connections that make life deeper than mere animal acts of consumption!"
"You don't even know what half of that means," Scootaloo said.
"Wrong again! I don't know what any of it means," Pinkie replied confidently.
"C'mon Pinks, what were you even going to use all of them for?" Minty asked. "You didn't even have any clothes to wash."
Pinkie blinked. "Oh, right. "
Rainbow Dash groaned.
"I mean, we shared so much back then," Minty continued, "I guess I just assumed it'd be okay. I'm sorry, Pinks."
"No, I..." Pinkie said, starting to tear up. "Mints?"
"Yeah?" Minty said.
Pinkie leaped and landed landed prone right in front of Minty, crying waterfalls. "I'm sorry too! I'm so super-duper-buper-wuper sorry I called you names and threw your suitcase out the window and threatened to stab you and stuff! I guess it just bothered me you didn't ask but that's no reason to be so mean to a friend, and especially a girlfriend!"
"No, Pinks, I understand," Minty said as she helped Pinkie up. "It's not what I took, it's that I didn't ask. I didn't think anypony would mind, but then again you've always been weird like that."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Pinkie snapped.
Minty giggled. "You're fun to tease, too."
Pinkie giggled back. "Yeah, I guess so!"
"Eaugh!" Scootaloo gagged.
On the counter sat 56 cupcakes. Pinkie would have to bake two to the third more cupcakes than expected, but two rounds for her friends was a suitable apology for how she acted, she thought. She couldn't resist having a pair herself, either. Pinkie always did enjoy reconnecting with a friend from way back. It took the best parts of a new friend with an old friend and smooshed them together.
"I don't mean to pry, but..." Minty glanced around. "Have you found yourself a girlfriend here?"
"Oh, no, I haven't... yet." Pinkie grinned mischievously. "Buuuuuuuut I do have my eye on a certain pony."
"Ooooh." Minty leaned in. "So, who is it? Anyone I'd know?"
"Oh, I'd say so. In fact, she's in this room eating a cupcake RIGHT NOW!"
Rainbow Dash froze and dropped her cupcake, eyes narrowed to pinpricks.
Pinkie laughed. "Just joshin' Dashie! I love ya!" Pinkie said. "But not in that way!"
Scootaloo leaned next to Rainbow. "Should I tell her what you told me last Thursday, Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow blushed and glared at her. "Why I oughtta..." Scootaloo snickered.
"How about you, Mints?" Pinkie asked.
"Oh, yeah! She's this lounge singer, name's Starsong. Next time you're in Coltlumbus you have to hear her sing. I swear, she has the most amazingest voice. She has to be using some pegasus trick to make it so clear." She suddenly turned to face Rainbow. "Hey, Dashie, can pegasuses do that?"
"I'm not talking to either of you!" Rainbow yelled back.
"Dashie gets this way if you get her goose real good like that. Just let her stew for a bit," Pinkie said. "How is the sock collection doing? New girlfriend make you throw it out?"
Minty blushed. "Actually, Starsong was okay with it. I guess she has a thing for eccentric weirdos with strange collections." She giggled sheepishly. "It probably doesn't hurt that I lend her a pair every now and then, if it matches her outfit."
"Oh my god!" Pinkie shouted. "You're letting somepony else wear your socks?! You and Starsong must be really hitting it off, Mints."
Minty blushed deeper. "Heh heh... W-well anyway, I'm up to 512 pairs, last I counted."
"Two to the ninth," Pinkie chimed.
Minty shrugged. "If you say so, I never was that good at math. Oh! Yeah, right, seeing you again was only part of why I came to Ponyville. I hear there's this really great tailor here. I was going to ask her for a pair or two."
Pinkie beamed. "You're talking about Rarity, aren't you? She's one of my super-duper-bestest friends! She'll be glad to help you. C'mon, I'll take you there!"
Minty smiled. "Thanks, Pinks. I'd love to."
"Be good, Dashie, Love ya!" Pinkie said before leading Minty out of Sugarcube Corner.
"Socks? Really?" Rainbow Dash said.
"Don't worry Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo said cheerfully. "I'm certain your Daring Do collection will be odd enough for her, eventually!"
"Wha- oh c- argh! Uh, sorry Scoots, I uh... gotta live in the mountains because I hate everypony! See ya!" Rainbow flew out of the door and was a speck on the horizon in an instant.
"W-wait a second, Rainbow Dash! We were gonna hang out!" Scootaloo said, running after her. "I'm so-o-o-rry!"
Author's Note
So like I wrote 90% of this, forgot I had it until last night, just brushed it off a little then set it free into the world.
I can't even remember why I started it.
