Psycho Celestia

by Endorb

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 2079

Celestia has to deal with political unrest every year. However, this year, they found some... "interesting" facts about their leader and her past.

Celestia has to deal with political unrest every year. However, this year, they found some... "interesting" facts about their leader. Now celestia must convince the ponies that she is still a competent and worthy ruler.
thanks to Everyann for rushing this artwork for me

Published 2014-12-04 07:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-04 07:30:01 UTC

History revealed

Celestia was feeling relatively dull when she woke up today. She checked her private calendar to see how much space was booked for the next week. It was a good sign that nothing special was booked from now until after her private birthday with Luna.

The week before her birthday was always predictable. Political activists would raise issue with her system, she would debate with them a couple days, until she "gave in" to some of their demands that she would otherwise have instituted anyways. It was much easier than raising awareness to issues herself.

Then she'd have at least a day to let everyone calm down and appreciate how well she listens to the people, and then her birthday ceremonies wrapped the whole thing up nicely. Celestia remembered when she used to think they celebrated her too much, but she quickly learned there was no point in fighting it, and that they did view her as superior despite her wishes.

As she wondered what new laws were going to be added this year, she was trying to gauge the anger and drive she had coming. As she sat at her throne, looking out the window at the protesters, she heard the unmistakable sound of hoofsteps from the hallway.

Celestia stood, ready to face the onslaught of demands for change, and as the guard entered to tell her, she immediately cut to the chase.
"What court should I head down to?"

The stallion, knowing the drill, merely sighed and muttered "court 3" as he continued along to whatever he was doing before this minor detour. The first day was always the worst when dealing with these protests.

Once Celestia settled in to the court, the first batch of challengers appeared. After the judge gave the ceremonial opening, complete with the usual warnings of rulings concerning Celestia, she started, obviously waiting until she could essentially hand It over to the Princess.

"What Issue do you wish to raise concern of?" The judge asked rhetorically. It was always the same group that went first to complain.

"We believe the rulers of equestria should be chosen democratically, just as local officials" a dust colored mare declared as she stepped forward. They seem more emphatic than usual, Celestia thought. I wonder what new point they have against me?

Her question did not go unanswered for long, however, as after the same opening points they always used were immediately followed up by new material.
"Princess Celestia, do you remember a Dr. Brainmare?"

"Yes, I do. She was the royal psychiatrist until her passing 966 years ago" Celestia answered, wondering where this could be going. Even the judge was piqued, gavel at the ready.

"Crawler, please present the record book" the mare called into her posse, which immediately split to reveal a pure black pegasus stallion holding a book. He set it down and blew some dust off the cover, giving chance for everyone to look at it.

It was simply bound and relatively thick, considering it was merely titled Log Of Honorable Dr. Brainmare's Patient History. "Whilst in the Everfree Forest, I, Dungeon Crawler, found this book within the walls of the old castle, and found an interesting piece of information."

Celestia didn't like where this could go, knowing how much information was in that book from her many years of work with her.

"After reading it a little bit, I found an interesting passage about our ruler that I believe everypony should know. On page 165 I found this."

"Quote, Subject Celestia has, oddly enough, tested positive for ASPD, also known as psychopathy. I shall report this to the princess herself in the morning. End quote"

Dungeon Crawler bowed and then immediately went back to the crowd, allowing the dusty mare to continue. Celestia was immensely worried and shocked that they'd found that within the book.

"How can we allow her to rule when she has no empathy for others? She was diagnosed with psychopathy and informed of it, yet she withheld it from her subjects! How can we put faith in a ruler incapable of empathy? How can we be certain that she has our interests in mind? How can we..." She then heard the gavel strike, and realized how much chatter was happening over her speech.

"Order in the court. Celestia, do you wish to make a statement?" Celestia thought for a moment before she responded. "Yes. I withheld this information precisely because I was aware of extreme reactions such as this," Celestia summoned all the certainty she could, and began her counterargument.

“As this statement is rather old, and sociopathy being a permanent condition, have I shown any malice within the last millennium?” Celestia paused a second, not expecting anybody to answer. However, one mare called out from the crowd "That doesn't mean you're not a psychopath!" Everyone turned to the source of the voice, a unicorn with a dull pink coat and mint colored mane. She stepped forward. "You are an intelligent mare, yes? Than it would be unrealistically foolish to risk your powerful position as ruler of such a large nation. Being psychopathic doesn't mean you're an angry being, it means you don't care of others" the mare smirked, obviously feeling victorious.

Celestia began to think up a counter, but took too long for the judge. “Celestia? Have you got anything more to say? Or is this case over?"

Celestia quickly decided to escape momentarily "Actually, it appears time for one of my other appointments, so I was hoping we could continue this later" the judge glared at Celestia "court will resume at 11am" she slammed the gavel, officially keeping court in break. Celestia walked briskly, knowing her appointment had to appear important. She knew it was her sister who booked it, so nopony else would be disappointed. She decided to watch as her sister underwent what was essentially the annual regime, lost in her thought.

Not much later, Luna had withstood the majority of personal complaints, the court was adjourned. "Sister! Have you already deterred the unrest?" Celestia looked to her sister, now beside her, and shook her head. Luna knew to follow her sister to privacy before continuing. Soon, they were in Luna's bedroom, away from prying eyes. Celestia began to retell to her sister what had happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That's terrible! Why'd they accuse you of being such a horrid leader? I would have never guessed if you hadn't told me." Celestia appreciated her sister's support, and it gave her an idea. She bid Luna a farewell and returned to the court, ready to face the challenge that awaited. The judge entered the room again and once everyone had seated, they continued where they had left off.

"Since Celestia is clearly a sociopath and thus unfit for rule, we know Luna would fail as replacement, as she always would follow the advice of her glorious older sister. The only reasonable action would be to remove them from the system and substitute a democratic leadership." The stallion finished, obviously enthusiastic. The judge waited a moment, then asked Celestia once again for her statement.

"I would like to dispute the argument that I am unfit to rule, and I would like to call the pink and mint unicorn mare from earlier. Is she still here?" A second or two passed before the mare began to approach, looking slightly worried. "You earlier stated that malice is not necessarily the case when dealing with sociopaths, correct?" The mare nodded, the worry growing on her face as Celestia spoke. "Well, if I am able to rule the land thus far without anypony so much as suspecting it, then it is reasonable to assume I am able to empathize with them intellectually. You did say I am a smart mare, after all" the mint maned mare was completely shocked. Her argument had been used against her goal!

But Celestia wasn't done yet.

"If you reread the excerpt, Dr.Brainmare even used the phrase 'oddly enough', and she was my psychiatrist. If she was expecting a negative, after doing many other tests, I believe I am very effectively capable of empathy."

"While I may not be capable of direct emotional empathy, I do experience emotions, and I am smart enough to understand the emotions of others in ways even more deeply than they could. I rest my case"

The pink and mint mare was now tearing up. Not in the sorrow of the case, but from Celestia's words, which she clearly took as very inspirational. After what felt like a half hour of processing Celestia, the judge finally remembered her job. "Does anypony wish to make another statement? ... Then in the case of Princess Celestia vs. the New Equestrian Democratic Movement, I rule no changes will be made in the system. Court dismissed"

The gavel signaled the end of the court session, and Celestia prepared for the next day, filling as much paperwork as possible into the rest of the day. Celestia was glad when it was nearing time for Luna's shift. Celestia was relatively exhausted from the days events (although Celestia could stay alert for several hours when most ponies were fully exhausted), and when it was time for the moon to take over the sky, she considered going to sleep after having her nightly "debriefing" with her sister (usually over tea), but she was aware of other duties she had to get done. "A Princess' work is never finished" she thought as she walked through the castle, finishing her final errands.

The next day, Celestia woke up more tired than usual. As she stood up, she realized she never ate yesterday, too busy catching up in her paperwork and wind down from her court case. She ate a small breakfast, expecting somepony to walk in and ask for some court case she was expected to partake in, but it never came. At some point, Celestia picked up a newspaper to read the headlines.

Celestia admits to psychopathy!

Yesterday, as our princess Celestia came under political fire again, she was found admitting to being diagnosed with sociopathy. Our reporters were on the streets to see what the citizens have to say of this development of our ruler. Here are several quotes from various ponies "Are you sure it was our Celestia?" "I never would have guessed in a million years" "why isn't she abusing her power than? You're lying"

Celestia smiled at the paper. She assumed that would be the majority of the responses. As she returned to the throne room, there was a package in wait. Celestia opened it, curious who sent it.
What she found inside was a letter and a picture of the pink and mint mare. She read it with a smile on her face.

Dear Princess Celestia, I can't tell you how much your recent actions in court inspired me. I am dealing with a mental disability in the family, and after relaying the events of yesterday to the unlucky mare, she was extremely uplifted by your words. I have seen how you help others, and are more capable than many other ponies, despite your hindrances. I was not the first to quit the democratic movement from your recent words, and I will certainly not be the last.
Your faithful subject,
Candy Cross

Celestia spent the week without further trial, joyed by the various pieces of mail she'd received from those inspired. When time came for her birthday parade, she was more glad than she had been in centuries to partake in it, with such a weight lifted off her back. She had, of course, received much flak from others for her secret, but it was expected.

When it was nearing her private birthday, however, she approached Luna. "Sister, would you mind if I invited a few others to our celebration?" Luna merely gave her sister a shrug and a look that said "do you really have to ask?" When the time came for the party, Candy Cross, Dungeon Crawler and Twilight Sparkle, all with guests, were there for Princess Celestia to celebrate her birthday, which was, along with her sociopathy no longer a secret, the greatest gift Celesta had ever received.

Author's Note

My first story, made for NaNoWriMo. Hope everybody likes it, although considering it received 0 edits, I doubt that'll be the case. Leave constructive criticism down below anyways! Thank you very much.