A Tale of two Fillies

by Skyeheart

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Other, Octavia
Length: 19778

In a fit of infatuation, Spike accidently set himself up on two 'dates' on Hearts and Hooves day. What is he going to do?! Set in Manehattanverse.

Hearts and Hooves day is coming up, and Spike has got plans, BIG plans.

As this year's Grand Galloping Gala draws closer, Octavia has been rehearsing with her quartet more on a regular basis. But, she's also planning on doing a little solo piece she composed on her own just for the occasion. To that end Spike has graciously volunteered to spend the day helping her practice.

Yes, just him and her, all alone in her apartment for the entire day with nothing to do but- waitjustaminute!

WHO. IS. THAT?

Why it's none other than the designer Orange Sherbet commissioned to design all of their outfits for the gala! And she's so nice, and beautiful, and generous, and beautiful! There has to be something he can do for such a pretty lady! Oh? She needs some assistance finishing her designs by Hearts and Hooves day? Consider it done!

...wait a minute, isn't that also when he promised to-?
This won't end pretty.

Story set in the Manehattanverse

Published 2015-01-14 13:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-11 10:05:46 UTC

Act 4: And eat it too?

Spike knocked on the blue doors of Octavia's penthouse studio, a bouquet of roses in claw, a spark in his heart, and a master plan in his head.

Octavia answered around the third knock. "Good morning Spike, you're here early."

"I just couldn't wait to hear your lovely symphonies in action, Octavia." He held up the bouquet for her to smell. "And just a little something for your sake."

"Roses, the flower of passion," Octavia observed. "I see you're quite fervent in adding to the atmosphere of this practice."

"Uh, yeah, that's...what I was going for?" Spike said with a confused smile.

Octavia, knowing full well the symbolism was lost on the young drake, took the roses in one hoof and smiled. "They're lovely, Spike. I like them very much. Have a seat on my couch and get comfortable while I find a good vase for these and set up my equipment. I won't be more than a few minutes."

Spike scooted onto a plush throw pillow as he smiled at Octavia. "Take your time, Octavia."

The minute Octavia went over into another room, Spike jumped off the couch and made a mad scramble out the door. So far so good! Time to put my dragon speed to action!

Run, run, run, through the hallway.
Down, down, down the stairs.
Grab the extra bouquet he left in the lobby.
Run, run, run across the street.
Up, up, up the stairs.
Run, run, run to the door.

Stopping to catch his breath for just a moment, Spike reached up and knocked.

The lovely Rarity answer the door this time. "Oh, Spikey-wikey! Just in time! I was just about to get started!"

"'Tis my pleasure to be at your service Rarity," Spike knelt, holding the bouquet forward.

"Ohh, for me?" Rarity gave a playful turn of the head and a wave of the hoof. "You shouldn't have!"

She barely suppressed a giggle as she noted the slight increase in red tinge around Spike's sheepish face. "Well then, no need to stand in that hallway all day. Come in, come in! Make yourself at home." She levitated the bouquet and proceeded to the backroom. "Just give me a few moments to freshen up and fetch my designing glasses and we can begin!"

"No hurry here," Spike said. "You can't rush perfection."

Rarity smiled back at the little dragon and continued to walk out of earshot. The moment she was, Spike spun on his heels and headed back the way he came.

Run, run, run, through the hallway.
Down, down, down the stairs.
Run, run, run across the street.
Up, up, up the stairs.
Run, run, run into Octavia's apartment.

He managed to leap onto the couch just as Octavia walked right into the room with her cello and score stand balanced upon her back.

"Thank you for waiting Spike," she said as she set up in her usual practice corner. She gave a pluck of her strings. "Would you like to have a cookie while I tune up? I have double chocolate chip almond, your non-gem encrusted favorite."

"Really? Thanks!" Spike hopped off and headed straight for her kitchen. "No need to get up, I'll get it myself."

As the sound of overture commenced from the next room over, Spike opened the fire escape and jumped out.

Down, down, down the fire escape.
Run, run, run across the *HOOOOONK* 'HEY! Use the crosswalk, genius!'.
Up, up, up the stairs.
Run, run, run into Rarity's studio.

He skidded into the room, stopping just in time to avoid collision with several rolls of fabric. Rarity just reentered with her glasses on and her hair freshly curled.

"Wouldn't you know it? They're always in the last place I'd expect, on top of the washroom mirror." She levitated a ponyquin over and placed it center between her board and machines. "Again, let me say I am ever so grateful for your assistance today, Spikey. It would be so much more difficult to get all these outfits done before the end of the weekend without someone helping me like this."

"Well of course! What kind of dragon would I be if I didn't keep my promises?" Spike held his head up proudly.

"Fantastic. Now let's begin. Fetch me my shears and measuring tape while I warm up the sewing machine, will you? Second top shelf, three drawers to the left."

"No problem!" Spike wheeled over the ladder and began to climb the shelves of fabrics and tools.

Rarity, meanwhile delicately starting threading the machine with her spools. "I was thinking we could start with Octavia's dress-"

*CRASH*

Rarity turned abruptly to the sound of a suddenly stupefied dragon falling to the floor with scissors and tape in claw. "Oh, dearie me! Spike! Are you alright, darling?"

"Uh, uh, yeah! I'm okay! Just missed a rung coming down. Not as though a certain word caught me off guard or something. But it's alright, dragon toughness here!" He regained his composure by beating his chest with his free claw.

Rarity seemed a tad concerned, but dismissed it steadily. "Well, if you're sure, I wouldn't want someone as nice as you getting hurt on my account you know." She pulled several reams of different cloths out. "But anyways, I was thinking white to go with her gray, with layers of violet to do her frills. Of course that's just the main piece, detailing and stylization will come after the first part comes together."

She handed Spike a ream of violet cloth. "Here, measure this piece from end to end and mark up each three hooves length and then cut appropriately while I do the white. Let me know when you're done."

Nodding quickly, Spike carried the cloth away from Rarity's view. Then with unparalleled rush, he flung the whole thing flat out on the floor and slapped the tape on the edge just as fast.
3, 6, 9, 12!
No time to mark, he just cut where he saw the multiples lined up with a swift tearing motion, and then he was out the door.

Run, run, run, through the hallway.
Down, down, down the stairs.
Run, run, run across the street.
Up, up, up the fire esc-*CRASH* Ow! Who put that trash can there?
Climb, climb, climb into Octavia's kitchen.

He staggered back into the living room, and Octavia looked up with a curious eye.

"That was certainly a while, how many cookies did you have?"

"Oh, well, hard to say," Spike said with a shrug. "Your cookies are always the best. How can I stop at just one?"

"Anything worth experiencing is worth experiencing again," Octavia agreed. "So, what does the measuring tape have to do with it?"

"M-measuring tape?" Spike looked to his left claw and realized with dread he was still holding on to the tape. "Oh, uh, I...brought it with me in case you needed it, since you and Twilight are always talking about measures in music!"

Octavia remained stoic as Spike gave a nervous chuckle, but relief soon came to the little dragon as she relented a small giggle, a clear sign she bought his on the spot witticism.

"Very well, but one more thing before we start." She fished through her desk drawer and pulled out a strip of gauze, and then knelt down to wrap it around the scrap on his knee. "You really should be more careful when you're scampering about in somepony else's home.

Oh...must have gotten that when I hit that trash can, he thought to himself. Any further thoughts however, like how to explain it, flew from his mind when the mare kissed the applied bandage lightly for comfort. Fortunately, she didn't inquire further about it and simply carried Spike to the couch before taking up her fully tuned cello.

"Now then, let us commence."

Spike dreamily lost himself in both the memory of her recent kiss and the calming composition that came from her steady and rhythmic hooves. In fact, it wasn't until the clock chimed the eleventh hour ten minutes later that Spike remembered his plan with a start.

"Uh, Octavia, my lady? Would you mind if I stepped out to use the little dragon's room real quick?" he asked in the most innocent way possible.

Octavia halted her bow and rested it against her side gently. "Of course Spike. I certainly wouldn't want you listen in discomfort."

"Thanks, I'll just be a minute." Spike zipped right out, only to poke his head back in for just a second to add, "Or fifteen, I did have a really big breakfast today."

Run, run, run, through the hallway.
Down, down, down the stairs.
Run, run, run across the *HOOOONK* 'Hey buddy! Didn't you hear me last time?!'.
Up, up, up the stairs.
Run, run, run to Rarity's.

Spike grabbed the cut fabric he left on the floor and whisked it over to Rarity. "Hah, hah, here...Rarity..."

"Wonderful Spikey, I was just finishing up- Goodness gracious!" Rarity recoiled as ladylike as she could at Spike's bandaged knee. "Did you cut yourself with those shears? Ohh, Spikey-wikey, you poor thing! I should known better than to let a precious little thing like you handle sharp objects so briskly!"

Spike was about to object that he wasn't that much of a baby dragon to need safety scissors, but swallowed his pride in delight when Rarity proceeded to give the knee a get better kiss of hers.

"Well, don't you worry about a thing," she continued, "I'll make sure no needles, pins, or scissors come close to you from this point on! I'll just delegate the safer tasks to you. Say, fetching some lace ribbons, black if you please. They will really complete the embroidery here!"

As Rarity began sewing the fabric on her half completed dress in the making, Spike ran back behind the shelves and returned in a few moments with some ribbons in his claws.

Rarity however, took one look at them when he presented them to her, shifted her glasses once, then shook her head slightly. "No no no, that's charcoal, not black, common mistake."

So Spike ducked around the maze of drawers again, and when he came back again, Rarity didn't even look up from her sewing machine.

"Actually, that's licorice."

So he fetched again...
"Ebony."
And again...
"Dark taupe."
And again...
"Midnight."
And again...and again...and again...

They all look black to me... Spike grimly thought as he returned to the rather large reject pile near Rarity for the 50th time. Thankfully, his quest was finally rewarded as Rarity looked up and grinned widely.

"Ohh, perfect! I knew you could find it!" she said as she patted his head. He turned to the side with a bashful expression.

All worth it to see that smile...
"And it only took you twenty minutes, not bad for a first time!"
Wait, WHAT?!

Spike twisted his head with a jerk to the clock to find out Rarity spoke the truth, it had taken him twenty minutes to get the ribbons right! No one took bathroom breaks this long!

Rarity hmm'd as she held the ribbon up to the violet cloth. "Actually, I think obsidian might go better with this. Spike, would you be a dear and-?"

"Already on it!" Spike said quickly as he jogged away. "May take awhile though as I have to start my search all over!"

Run, run, run, through the hallway.
Down, down, down the stairs.
Run, run, run across the street.
Up, up, up the stairs.
Run, run, run to Octavia's.

"Spike, I trust you're relived?" Octavia asked as Spike stumbled back in.

"Uh, yeah." Spike didn't even stop as he made his way towards the kitchen. "Say, it's getting close to noon right? How about I make us some lunch?"

Run, run, run to Rarity's.

"Would you like a mint? I think there's a bowl of them in the lobby."

Run, run, run to Octavia's.

"You know what this sandwich needs? Some mustard. I notice you're out, so why don't I just make a quick trip to the store and get some?"

Run, run, run, through the hallway.

"Oops, I just dropped your stencil out the window. Let me go down and fetch it."

Up, up, up the stairs...

"I...*pant* have to..."

Down, down, down the stairs...

"With the...*wheeze* you know...*gasp*"

Stumble...stagger...collapse on the sidewalk.

"Uggggggh..." the pooped out marathoner groaned. "It hurts to even breathe..."

This double dating thing was turning out to be harder than he thought, especially on his legs! There had to be an easier, faster way to get from one apartment to the next.

Spike turned over and searched his person for something to wipe his brow with, but instead came up with something much more potent. Hey, is this...?
His eyes fell over the vial of purple liquid held in his claws.
"Twilight's potion, I still have it with me!"

His thoughts turned back on Twilight's exact words.
"Anything a pony can do, this potion can increase their capabilities to do it tenfold."

"Tenfold huh? Should be no problem to cover only double my work then."
And well...Twilight did want to test it...
"Don't drink it! That's the absolute last thing you want to do!"

The vial stopped an inch from his lips. The little dragon tapped his chin, considered all options, and what was at stake.
Octavia...
Rarity...
Their complete trust in me...

"...eh, what's the worst that could happen?"
And with a shrug he chugged the whole thing down.

Act 5: No

Octavia hummed a few bars as she sightread her next page. The door then burst open as Spike paraded in, a swagger in his step.

"Alright Octavia, it's time to play the music!"

"You certainly seem to be in a more vigorous spirit," she noted.

Spike just scratched the side of his neck confidently. "Let's just say I had a bit of a second wind there, ten times."

"Well then, permit me to continue after I've gotten a fresh glass of water-"

Octavia had barely finished moving her lips when a little purple blur whizzed by into the kitchen and back in the blink of an eye. Spike held up the full pitcher and empty glass for her, pouring until it was at the rim.

"Oh, my. You certainly weren't kidding." Octavia, slightly bemused, accepted the glass and drank deeply. Her bemusement crept up just a little when Spike blinked out and back again, now holding a napkin to wipe herself with.

And this point, Octavia had a suspicion that her score would appear to be turning itself as she resumed her piece. She wasn't disappointed. Every time she paused to reach out, a flick of a purple wrist swept over the sheet and had the next part open to view.

Within the next ten minutes she finally reached the coda. And the applause of a single dragon erupted heavily when she did her customary bow.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Spike cheered, his claws coming together ten claps per second.

"You might want to reel in your enthusiasm a little until all five of my planned pieces are played," Octavia said, half expecting a whistle to go with the enthusiastic reception. "A runner does not sprint at the starting line of a marathon."

"Oh, not to worry, Octavia," Spike assured. "Like I said, I feel like I've got more energy than what to do with right now." He then raised both a foot and a finger. "Now if you'll pardon me for just one minute, and one minute exactly. I'd like to step out for a bit of fresh air before we start the next number."

A passing taxi puller on the streets below could have sworn he was going the other way right before a streak of purple blew right him, spinning everything in a close proximity that wasn't nailed down into a mini-whirlwind.

Rarity proudly held up Octavia's finished dress in her aura. "Oh, yes, this is wonderful! Now, where did I put that ponyquin-"

She nearly yelped in surprise when Spike appeared right next to her, thunking the life-size plastic model in front of her.

"Oh! Well, thank you very much Spikey! I was just about to ask you for that."

"It's what I'm here for," he boasted with pride.

"Yes, well. Let's move on to the next dress," Rarity said a she hung up the dress and began to trot over to her design table. "I was think we could take a look at Twilight's design ne-"

*zip*

Spike appeared before her with the sketching unfurled in both claws.

"Oh, yes! There it is. Hmmmm...good! I know just what we need for this. Let's first get a ream of midnight blue-"

*zip*

Rarity blinked as Spike now stood there with a full rack of the aforementioned cloth in his arms. She looked to his grinning face, then across the room to where the fabric was stored, then back to him.

"...And for the midriff we'll also need a bit of celeste-"
*zip*
"-a set of crystal glass horseshoes-"
*zip*
"-roughly two dozen silver five-pointed-star shaped sequins in varying degrees of blue and white-"
*zip*
"-purple thread and spool-"
*zip*
"-a canvas sheet-"
*zip*
"-pincushion-"
*zip*
"-scissors-"
*zip*
"You know you're not supposed to run with those."

Spike drew back sheepishly as Rarity inspected the materials littered before her.

"Well, I must say!" she said at last. "I do believe that's everything, and all under a minute too!"

"Like I promised!"

"What?"

"Nothing!" Spike covered hastily.

"So, with all of this, I do believe I will be 'in the zone' for a while. Why don't you go out and get yourself a little something in the meantime?"

Rarity floated a couple bits to Spike as she began humming to herself as she snipped.

"It would be my pleasure," Spike raised a foot and finger again. "I'll be back very soon," he winked.

"Boy, this potion is great!" Spike said to himself as he sped out into the hallway. "I don't see what Twilight was so worried about. With this much talent enhancement, I feel like I could be an assistant to every pony in this city!"

He whooshed past a maid dusting the decorative knick-knacks and pictures. But without warning, he suddenly screeched to a halt as she accidentally dropped it.

"Huh? What th-"

Arms outstretched, he turned on his heel and dashed right back. The maid who was bending down to pick up her dropped cleaning tool sprang back in a frightened yelp as he seized it off the ground and frantically began to cover every nook and cranny in the hall.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she exclaimed.

"I-I don't know! But it looks like I'm doing your dusting for you!"

A clear understatement on his part, as Spike's vigorous brushing of every inch of the wall in seconds kicked up enough dust to cloud the entire hallway. The maid coughed through the ash and soot in an annoyed attitude.

"Oh great, now my uniform's dirty and-AHH!"

She squealed in surprise as the little dragon hosted her up by her backside and zoomed down the stairs to the laundry room in seconds. She squealed again in an even more mortified tone when he stopped inches from an open machine and stripped her outfit off in one clean yank before stuffing it in and popping a bit into the coin slot.

Then he grabbed every loose garment and towel hanging around the area and in few quick flicks of his claws, had every article folded into squares within moments.

"Wha-what's going on?" he cried as he sped out of the room and towards the entrance. "I didn't want to do any of that!"

He stopped on the edge of the sidewalk as he burst out of the doors, barely having time to catch his breath before he noticed a fruit vendor stacking his peaches on his cart stand. Before he could even blurt out a warning his body lunged at the cart and in a flurry of arm thrusts and tossing, there was a pyramid of peaches reaching all the way to the cart's roof. The stallion gaped in shock at the tower on his cart as the dragon ran off. He tentatively poked the cornerstone of the structure, and the pile collapsed on top of him. The little dragon ran back, and in just a little while he left behind another pyramid of peaches, this time with eyes in the center.

"I can't...control my body!" Spike screamed. "I can't stop helping ponies!"

Blossomforth walked into her greenhouse with a watering can hanging from her mouth. Nothing like a day off to spend quality time with her lovelies! First thing was first, quenching their thirst. She was only done with the tulips and half the daisies though when her can ran dry. An inward sigh escaped her as she trotted back out.

One problem that came with having designed her own greenhouse was that lacking foresight, she filled the entire building with beds and left no room for indoor plumbing. That meant she had to go back and forth between here and her apartment around a dozen times daily. Of course, being a member of the weather team had its advantages in that case, as at the end of the month if there was any surplus rain clouds in their inventory she was allowed to take them home. And if there weren't, well at least she got her exercise for the day.

She hummed a little tune to herself as she refilled her can over her kitchen sink. But to her surprise, the sound of running water did not stop after she shut the faucet off. She gave the nozzle a curious tap, then, confirming her sink was indeed off, wandered toward where the noise was coming from. She nearly screamed when she stepped outside. There, holding a hose that extended all the way to the pump house for Manehattan University's outdoor fountain, was Spike. And he was shooting a full stream right into her greenhouse!

"Spike! What are you doing?!! You're flooding my garden!!!"

She lunged at the little drake, her eyes starting to see red. At that moment Spike turned in the direction of the shouting, and so did the hose. Blossomforth suddenly found herself flailing against the wall, pinned down by 100 psi of water pressure. When the hose finally stopped, her friend gasped at the soaking wet mare.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Blossomforth! Let me get you a towellllllll I really shouldn't have said that!"

And before you could say 'bad mane day', a purple blur with a white cloth had given a stupefied pegasus the latest in tornado survivor hairstyles right before he charged off out of sight again.

"At last!" Honey rubbed her hooves eagerly as Trixie pushed a very large crate into the Reneighsance hall of her museum. "An authentic working Taurusi trebuchet! You don't know how many requisition forms I had to go through to get this puppy on display in here! Did you know Taurusi conceived the first counterweight system for siege weapons, so they no longer required a pony to always jump down on the lever mechanism to fire?"

"Fascinating," Trixie grunted with her usual sarcasm to the historian's tangential quips. "This sort of manual labor is beneath Trixie's talents! Why must she be subjected to such menial torments?"

"My usual mover's on sick leave and I just couldn't wait. I did say the museum has a dolly that's used for situations exactly like this, why didn't you use it?"

Trixie sniffed. "A dolly has wheels. Trixie doesn't trust wheels."

Honey looked at her, eyes half-lidded. "Your wagon has wheels."

"Exactly! Do you know how many times she's had to change an axle, felloe, or tongue every time she's hit a bump in the road? If she could afford her own airship, she would!"

"Or you could invest in some cart tires and an iron frame like most long distance travelers do," Honey said as she rolled her eyes. She then pulled out a crowbar from her turtleneck. "Anyways, back to the matter at hoof. This new piece will be the crowning attraction of my exhibits for weeks to come! Just one more jerk off this crate's side, and it's display time!"

With one large pry, she pulled the side of the container open, and out spilled several dozen pulleys, planks, and ropes.

They looked at the mess in stunned silence for some time before Trixie broke it. "Some assembly required, batteries not included."

"Ha ha," Honey snarked. "Luckily, I have all of Taurusi's schematics on reference. We can put this back together easily."

"Oh no no no," Trixie held a hoof and shook her head. "Trixie's pulled enough muscles for one day, her part is done here. You want a 'we'? Suggest a venture to that new frozen yogurt vendor. Until then, make due with another assistant."

That was when the doors burst open to allow Spike to speed in, send Trixie flying, and dive into the pile at lightning speed. With a series of hammer, drill, and sawing noises, the dust cloud settled to reveal the fully constructed trebuchet, just in time for Trixie to land in the sling.

"...woah. Gee Spike, I- are you mopping my floor?"

"Heeeelp meeeeeee!!!" was Spike's response to Honey as he disappeared down the corridor, leaving a trail of water in his wake.

"Call it a hunch, but Trixie suspects there's something wrong with Spike. Hmm, this is actually pretty comfortable sitting."

"Don't get too comfortable. It looks like we're going to be paying Twilight a little visit today-"

Honey slipped on the slick floor and into the trebuchet, her head banging against a lever that gave a sharp click.

A sharp jerk from the whirring mechanism drew a bead of sweat from Trixie. "Uh oh..."

A second later there was a scream and a Trixie shaped pancake laying against an 8th century mosaic mural depicting the life of the legendary Minotaur Emperor Oxenander the Great.

"Well..." she muffled through the marble tiling, "we certainly know whether it really works or not now..."

"So Creme Brulee, Broil Braze, and Main Dish are all out sick?" Orange Sherbet asked her manager at the hotel's restaurant.

The yellow mustached earth pony nodded. "Apparently that cabbage head they had last night for their salad was contaminated."

"That leaves our kitchen drastically short staffed..." she tapped her chin, "and the lunch hour rush is practically upon us."

After another rub, she set her hoof down and nodded. "No way around it then. Have the waiters and busboys fill in for the less complex tasks. I'll pull a few of the cleaning staff to sub for them until peak hours end."

"Yes madame, at once."

As her manager went behind the silver-lined double doors, she turned to the lobby to call for the mares who handled room service. She had not taken two steps though when a resounding crash echoed from where her manager had gone.

"SACRE BLEU!!"

Sherbet raced back into the employee only area to find dishes and food flying everywhere.

"What in Equestria-"

A shooting hayburger quickly replaced the words in her mouth. She looked to her frantic cooks, huddled at one end of the baking station, who all pointed in the other direction at the little dragon whose arms were moving across the stove and grill so fast it looked like he had eight.

"I was just taking out the trash, and he barged in without any warning!" one of them said. "He grabbed the entire order list and now he's throwing them all at us like they were dodgeballs!"

Sherbet spat out her impromptu meal to address her little friend. "Spike! Dearie, what are you trying to-"

A eggplant casserole missile silenced her.

"Sorry Auntie!" Spike shouted over the din of clanging spatulas and ladles. "I just heard the words 'short-staffed' a block away and my body just acted on its own!"

"But how-"

Her gut instinct got her to duck that time, but not quite fast enough. She looked back up sporting a lovely new hairdo of linguini alfredo. As for Spike, he suddenly jumped off the stool that kept him at the stove's level and started to speed off again.

"Uh oh, guess that was the last order! Auntie! Get Twilight! Ask her how to turn off the potionnnnnnnnnn!!!"

A stallion rushed in with some leaflets in hoof. "We got another five orders for-"

He stopped, then looked at the huge stack of prepared dishes around all the ponies in the kitchen, and some on them.

"Huh, wasn't aware our kitchens served fast food."

Octavia stretched her legs for the third time today. It had been forty minutes since Spike had stepped out, the longest break he had taken yet, and she was starting to get concerned. His behavior had been a little strange when he first arrived this morning, but she had paid it no mind at first considering his young nature. Now, however, she was starting to suspect that there was something that was affecting him that he was trying to keep from her knowledge, and thus why for some reason he kept getting up and leaving for trivial matters.

"Put me down already!"

Octavia blinked and stuck her head out of her window. The sight below surprised her, as it was the little dragon in question, hefting at least three grizzled old mares by their backs over his head and jogging across the intersection below.

"You've been carrying us for ten blocks already! I don't need to cross anymore streets!!"

Now Octavia knew Spike had been hiding something from her. Dropping all sense of decorum, she galloped out of her studio and down to the first floor as quick as she could. By the time she was out of the apartment building, she found Spike at a road work site, jack-hammering the pavement with one claw, his other scooping hot tarmac from a mixer, and his tail smoothing it out with a trowel.

"Spike/Spikey, what are you doing?"

She blinked at the echo in her words, and looked to her side to see Rarity her nonplussed expression mirroring hers.

Spike looked up from the lap of the peeved mother, whose baby he was now bottlefeeding. Oh no no no no no no NO!

"Ladies...I can explain everythIIIIIIIING!!"

He was off like a shot the minute the baby burped.

A frizzy and disgruntled Blossomforth marched up the marble steps to the Manehatten public library. To her surprise, she found a bruised Honey, a plaster-caked Trixie, and a noodle-wigged Orange Sherbet at the doors ready to knock as well.

"...Spike helped?" she ventured.

"Spike helped," they all answered in a low tone.

"It seems when it rains, it pours," Octavia said as she came up from behind along with Rarity.

"Goodness gracious! You all went out in public looking like that?!" the white unicorn nearly shrieked. "Well! Lucky thing I always carry an emergency kit for last minute touch ups!"

As she winked a makeup box into existence and went to work fixing the the others up to look 'presentable', Octavia went ahead to talk with Twilight.

"Twilight Sparkle?" she called out as she crossed the foyer. "Twilight? Are you here?"

She ascended to the second level to find Twilight hunched down over her desk, a wall of notes, books and graphs magically encircling her as she scribbled down intensively.

"Twilight? Twilight!" When Octavia found that her friend's ear hadn't even twitched from her name being called out, she tapped her chin. Looking to her side, she grinned and gave a small clinking jostle to an inkwell on the cabinet next to her.

"Agh!" Every loose-leaf spilled to floor as Twilight's trance was broken.

"Pardon," Octavia said. "But I think this was a nicer way of getting your attention as opposed to clipping another library book page."

"That's okay, now would probably be a time Spike insists I take a break anyways," Twilight replied. She left her spot at her desk and cantered over to straighten out the inkwell that was tipped. "Say, shouldn't you be with him right now? Practicing your new cello number?"

"That seems to be where the plan did not survive the enemy," Octavia started to explain. "Your assistant Spike has, how should I put it?"

"He's gone nuttier than a maple cashew fruitcake!"

Trixie joined the pair, followed by Honey, Blossomforth, Orange Sherbet, and Rarity in that order.

"What Trixie means," Honey clarified, "is that your assistant for some reason or another has gone on an assisting spree with alarming results. It's turning out to be more harmful than helpful at the level he's doing it. It's like somepony flipped a turbo switch on him and he can't turn it off."

"What?! How is he doing that? Why is he doing this? And why are you all wearing eyeliner? It looks nice, by the way."

"Oh, you like it? Rarity said the purple highlights really went well with my hair color-"

Sherbet interrupted Blossomforth's latest tangent. "To be honest, we were hoping you'd have a clue, especially since he mentioned you had the most knowledge about his predicament."

"Me? But I haven't the faintest idea what's happened to him! I've been in here all weekend working on my thesis for my recently finished talent enhancer potion and getting ready to test it-"

Her eyes drew to beaker rack on her table, and widened when she saw it was empty. "What? No, no. Where is it? Where is it?!"

She zipped to every chest and drawer, opening them up violently and flinging the contents out every which way in semi-automatic rounds.
"Where is it?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!?!"

A good tailwind blew through the other ponies as a lavender blur zoomed downstairs and into the basement, preluding a series of crashing and shattering noises and even a little bit of shaking, all supplemented by a constant 'NONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!'.

In a flash of a teleport, Twilight reappeared in front of the group, her front hooves pulling at her mane. "IT'S GONE! IT'S ALL GONE!!!"

She flailed, and waved, and even shook the occasional neighbor frantically as she freaked out. "OVER TEN YEARS OF RESEARCH AND EXPERIMENTS...WASTED!!! I'LL HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN! I'LL HAVE TO CANCEL MY DISSERTATION SPEECH AT CANTERLOT UNIVERSITY! I'LL-"

Trixie choose that moment to give Twilight a good slap in the face.

"Ow!" Twilight rubbed her cheek.

"We already have one freak out on the loose right now, we don't need another! Now crazy dragon assistant first, missing homework later! What was the last thing you remember doing with him?"

Twilight pondered, but not before shooting a glance at Trixie out of the corner of her eye. "The last thing I can think of is when he was cleaning up my lab after I put the finishing touches on my potion..."

She trailed off, her expression evolving into a face of realization, shock, pure rage, then aggravated exasperation.

"Okay girls," she slowly started, "I think I know exactly what's happened..."

"So he chugged down your super juice and now is on an unstoppable do what he does best spree?" Blossomforth surmised after Twilight's lengthy explanation.

"It all fits, in theory," Twilight said.

"That's great and all, but how do we go about stopping him? You got an anti-super-talent drink, right?" Honey asked.

"No!" Twilight smacked her hoof against a desk. "It's not a disease, there's no cure or anything! All we can do is wait for the effects to wear off!"

"This is probably not going to be the answer I want to hear, but how long will that take?" Honey asked again.

"I don't know!" Twilight threw her hooves into the air. "That's the whole point of an experiment! To find out what you don't know! This potion could wear off in a day, a week, even a year from now for all I can guess!!"

A resounding crash shook them all, and Blossomforth flew up to the window to peek out. "I'm not sure Manehattan can stand as much as an hour more of this," she noted as from the wreckage of several food carts nearby a swarm of carrot dogs flew through the air an into the mouths of gaping bystanders.

"Okay, so Trixie thinks the plan is clear. We catch Spike before he helps this city into oblivion. The problem? He's a protein shake injected jalapeño coffee bean in a spring factory. And even if we can catch up, we can't so much get within two steps of him before he 'helps' us. So anypony have an idea how to get past that?"

Everypony sat and rubbed their chins. After a while, Octavia was the first to stop and smiled. "By helping us to help him."

A hydrant across the street burst as Spike twisted a monkey wrench too tightly around the lug nut of a leaky pipe, sending nearby pedestrians screaming for cover.

"Oh, no. I'm heading to the umbrella store next, aren't I?" Spike asked his jittering, jogging legs.

"Ugh, work, dang it!"

The words crossed his ears in but a millisecond and he was turned about, dashing towards the source. Oh, great. Who am I 'helping' now? OH NO, NOT TRIXIE AGAIN!

There in the center of the street was the showmare, trying to set up a box of some kind that kept falling apart. Seeing Spike coming, she quickly jumped aside as the pieces were engulfed in a whirlwind of work.

"He took the bait, bring in phase two!"

Rarity walked by with a strange article of clothing. "Oh, frazzles! I just can't seem to get this jacket right! If only my model was here to try it on I could see what is wrong!"

With hammer and nail spinning in the air, Spike left the newly completed contraption and leapt right into the garment Rarity held. With a whirring blur that could be seen in a crazy and violent marsupial, his body fumbled with the jacket until it suddenly stopped with a jerk, and fell to the ground, completely bound by all limbs.

"Oh, there's the problem," Rarity sang in a playful tune. "It's a straitjacket!"

Spike, still squirming nonstop involuntarily, then found himself lifted up by Trixie's aura and then hovering over the top of the open hatch.

"A thousand and one thank yous Spike, for helping Trixie put together her latest escape art trick," she said with a smirk. "The one hundred lock box!"

Before anything else could be said and done, Spike was instantly plunged into the tiny prison, and all the mares were gathered around all sides, snapping and clicking every lock into place. They held fast against the box for at least half an hour as it started to rock and bang violently. But surely and slowly, the shaking slowed, and when it finally stopped everypony leaned back against the box with a sigh of relief.

"I guess it finally wore off..." Twilight said.

"About time," Honey breathed. "So he's back to normal right?"

"Either that or..." Sherbet pressed an ear against the box, then looked up at her friend. "Trixie, this box of yours does have air holes, right?"

Act 6: Parting is such sweet sorrow

A large yawn escaped Spike's mouth as the smell of antiseptic and gauze overcame his sense of smell. He pulled his eyelids open to find himself lying on a cot in a ward of the Manehattan general hospital. His head ached like crazy and his body was all pins and needles.

The latter he soon figured was obvious to the fact that he still in his restraining garments.

"Well, well, well. Look who's done hibernating."

Spike raised his head to see Honey sitting on a chair across from the cot.

"Figures you wake up during my shift, guess I'm paying Trixie five bits after I fetch her and the rest."

"Ugnh, how long was I out?" Spike blearily asked as she approached with a small smile.

"Not that bad, two days. According to Twilight, you burned out like a candle that had hit its stump once your potion powers went kaput. Apparently using ten times your ability makes you use ten times your energy." She took a tray loaded with topaz and opal from the table next to the patient and placed it on his lap. "Speaking of, you're probably starving. So eat up while I get everypony together."

Spike didn't need to told twice to chow down with a plate that scrumptious before him. Claws free, he planted his face deep into the gems while Honey left the room with a small giggle.

He was only five seconds into his meal when a voice piped up. "I'm glad you find the selection most satisfying."

Spike poke his head out to see the two mares he most and least wanted to see at the same time. "R-rarity? O-oct-octavia?" he choked.

"Well, who else did you think provided the gems, little Spikey?" Rarity said as she walked up to the side of his cot. "How fortuitous for us that you had woken up just as we were coming to relieve Daring."

Spike swallowed a huge lump in his throat, some of it from the gems. "Uh, uh..." He could start to hear the soap opera music playing in his ears. "Ladies...you see..."

"Spike," Octavia raised a hoof. "Twilight told us everything. The rest she couldn't cover, we put two and two together there."

"Really now Spikey," Rarity folded her hooves across the mattress. "If you had overbooked your schedule, you should have told at least one of us. I would have understood. I certainly wouldn't have wanted you to overwork your adorable little self by running around ragged just for me!"

"As would I," Octavia agreed. "If you turn left as you move right, you'll soon find yourself walking backwards despite looking ahead."

Spike looked down and sighed. "I'm sorry girls. I just...I knew how important both things were to you two and...I didn't want to let either of you down."

"Spike, you're far more important to us than any little task we want help with." Octavia reached over and gave him a light squeeze as he felt his face get warmer. "I would have canceled my practice in a heartbeat for your sake."

"And it wouldn't have been the worst possible thing if I had to do my dresses all on my own that day," Rarity added. "Speaking of, I did put off the showcasing until you came to."

"Aw, thanks. It's does feel kinda silly now, looking back on it," Spike said sheepishly. "I'm glad there's no hard feelings though."

"Maybe, maybe not." Octavia smirked as the door to the room opened. "There is still one more pony you haven't apologized to yet."

Spike's sheepish grin turned into a nervous smile as he saw the rest of the gang walk in, and a certain peeved purple pony was marching at the head.

"What do you have to say for yourself, mister?" she said, towering over him with her muzzle nearing touching.

"Ehhh...good news Twilight! I have your next friendship report ready to write!"

Twilight sat off to the side in her her new midnight blue gala dress trimmed with dazzling stars and sky blue shoes and earpiece to match, watching her friends parade the catwalk in Rarity's studio in their respective outfits.

Blossomforth pranced forth on tulip-like shoes in a gown with layers that peeled back like the petals of a flower, combined with a collar and earring of pink hyacinths to with it, she herself seemed to look like a spring flower.

Honey's dress seemed similar to her jacket up top, but her head fashioned a stylish sports cap, while the skirt was styled in a texture that almost resembled jungle palm fronds, and the bright green leaf saddle around the midriff made it almost look as if she were carrying a traveler's knapsack.

Octavia bore a slender mix of white, purple, and black Chineigh silk, with just a hint of its eastern style mixed in. The trimmings and lace curved to make beautiful patterns similar to musical clefs, while the black ribbon around the flanks easily distinguished the ruffles flowing downward like a glissando.

Trixie's dress seemed much like her cape, but longer, more flowing, and with more majestic stars and swirls. A high rise bejeweled collar held by an aquamarine broach, along with pearl stockings and long amethyst slippers gave the feel of starry midnight sky, along with her trademark hat that now sported a golden comet-like strip of ribbon around it.

Orange Sherbet's was perhaps the most traditional in design. Smooth creamy colors of orange adorned with bronze cuffs and jasper accents in a Victorian theme, complete with pearl necklace and earrings made for an older beauty, both rich and simple.

As Rarity floated over Spike's brand new tux, which he accepted with glee, Twilight pulled out her quill and parchment and began to write.

Dear Princess Celestia,

This week my assistant Spike learned that experimental protocols exist for a reason, and when you fail to follow directions, you just may end up hurting somepony...or a few dozen.

But more importantly, I learned through his experience that you can't always do everything a friend asks you to do. Whether it's your own thing, or some other commitment, sometimes you just have to turn down an invitation. But that's okay, a true friend knows you have your own life to live, and will gladly take an occasional declination with no worries at all. There are some things, after all, they won't have time for you. And just because you miss out being with them one time doesn't make you any less of a friend than you already are.

P.S. I'm afraid my thesis project has been...back-burnered as they say for the time being. Please notify the professors at Canterlot University that talent enhancement is a dead end in the field of magical study.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

"Really?! You could get me a contestant's spot in next year's Manehattan Fashion Week?!" Rarity all but screamed as she stood at the steps of the station while her mountain of bags was being hauled to the luggage car by three stallions.

"But of course, dearie," Sherbet affirmed with a smile. "After seeing such exceptional work with our gala dresses, I could easily use them as a sample showcase for recommendation. It would be my pleasure."

Rarity squealed in delight as she squeezed Sherbet tightly. "Oh, Auntie, you truly are a gem! Oh, I can hardly wait to see you again! *gasp* Goodness me! I only have eight months to plan my line up! And my wardrobe! And my socialite outreach! I'd have to get started the minute I get back to Ponyville! Ta-ta, darlings! Do keep busy!"

As she rushed to her cabin following the third whistle of her train, Trixie turned her heads to the others. "Only eight months to plan?"

"She's like the Twilight of clothes," Honey joked, eliciting a couple of giggles and a 'Hey!' from their magic prodigy.

"Now, Spike, when Rarity does come back, I hope you keep your wits about you and avoid a repeat of this week's disaster," Twilight lectured him on her back as they all walked away from the station.

"No worries about that Twi," Spike said with a waved claw. "I certainly learned my lesson today. From now on, I'm a one pony dragon! Never again will I let my heart wander. Besides..." he glanced at Octavia out of the corner of his eyes, "in a group like this, there's just not enough of me to go around."

"Well yeah! I mean it's not like there's some mystical thing that can magically duplicate yourself somewhere out there," Blossomforth laughed.

"I mean, could you imagine the kind of trouble that could happen if somepony had something like that at their disposal?"

Act 1: Neigh York, city of love.

In the basement of her private study, Twilight poured over her research notes and cross referenced with the textbook on the side of her experimenting table as she dripped several vials of varying color over a central flask she had levitated in front of her. Once all contents were properly distributed into the larger container, she gave a few through shakes to mix it, stopping only when a small poof erupted from the top. She then hovered it over another beaker of liquid.

"Okay...just one- no, two drops..."

Pink and red swirled together to create a purplish neon glow.

Her face brightened. "Exactly as hypothesized! Five whole years of experimentation, and it's actually almost done!" There was just one more ingredient she had to add before placing her new potion into her cooling unit. "Spike, can you fetch me the MacGuffinium extract?"

After hearing no response, vocal or otherwise, Twilight looked over her shoulder to find the floorspace behind her devoid of anything minus her lab equipment.

"Spike? Spike! Spiiiiiike!" Twilight's voice trailed upwards as she ascended the stairs to the public area of the Manehattan Library, nearly finished potion still in her magical grip.

Poking her head out, she took a look around the foyer and saw no sign of the little dragon's presence. "Spike?"

It was then she heard a faint strumming of classical music coming from the bedroom upstairs. Trotting up the steps to her room, Twilight opened the door. No sign of the source of the music, but it was definitely closer. Hunting the sound down, she made her way to the broom closet. It was there at the very back of it past the mop and chimney sweeper she found a foldaway curtain that never caught her sight before. She peeled it away, and just stared at the scene before her.

A bed of roses adorned the floor along some fragrant lit candles, right in front of a large portrait of her cello playing friend Octavia. A small record player stood in the corner left of her, playing what Twilight now recognized as one of her more popular choices of performance. And there, among the circle of petals, with the broom as his dance partner, waltzed Spike, dressed in his finest ensemble, complete with red bow tie. His eyes were closed in blissful ignorance as he spun around, his humming mimicking the record's melody.

With the novelty of the sight having worn off, Twilight sped a hoof to her mouth to stem the oncoming giggle that approached. She was a second too late.

"Huh? What?" The little dragon's eyes popped open as quickly registered he now had a standing audience in Twilight. In a swift scramble, he attempted to cease his dancing, stop the record player, cover the hidden shrine, and push his guardian out of his hideaway all at the same time. The result was predictable. With arms and legs colliding with each other, he slipped on a patch of petals, tripped over his broom's handle, and tumbled into the player, knocking it over and halting the music. The record itself landed square on his head.

This only let loose another giggle from Twilight, uninhibited this time. "Maybe you should have let her lead..."

My Little Pony, My Little Pony

Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh…

(My Little Pony)

I used to wonder what friendship could be

(My Little Pony)

Until you all shared its magic with me

Great discoveries!

Tricks galore!

A rich slice of life,

And a heartfelt score.

Budding courage,

It's an easy feat

And magic makes it all complete!

You have my little ponies

Do you know you're all my very best friends?

"A little privacy and me-time every once in a while is all I ask for," Spike grumbled as he emptied the last of the rose petals from his dustbin into the wastebasket. "Is that really too much?"

"I'm sorry I intruded on you," Twilight said with every ounce of sincerity as she could. "But you did agree to help me with my potion making this morning."

"You mean sit and watch you make potions," Spike retorted. "You stood over that apothecary table for over an hour without so much as a peep. You didn't even hear my five attempts to ask if I could leave yet or even notice me get up and go well over fifteen minutes ago."

Twilight fought off a sheepish grin. "Okay, maybe I was little engrossed in my studies..."
"Like always."
She fought back a roll of the eyes. "But I've been working on this potion since magic kindergarten, and it's just about complete! Think of all the possibilities this one vial can accomplish if I validate it to work like it should!"

As she proceeded back into her lab, she reached out and levitated the last component from the top shelf and dropped a drop into the mix. A deafening burst sounded off as huge could of magical smoke violently erupted from the glass container, right before it collapsed and seeped back into purple liquid and settled.

"So what's this thing do again?" Spike asked. "Will it turn you into a monster?"
"No."
"Does it make you invisible?"
"No."
"Does it transform you into a zombie?!"
"Technically, that's a monster, so no."
"...Is it a love potion?"
"No! It's none of those things!"
"Well, that's all the mad scientist potion ideas I know of. So what does it do?"

"This is supposed to be a talent enhancer potion," Twilight explained. "Anything a pony can do, this potion can increase their capabilities to do it tenfold. For example, if I were to drink it, my already advanced magic would become extremely powerful, like moving celestial bodies powerful."

"Aw, sweet! A potion that gives you superpowers. That is awesome!"

Twilight groaned at Spike. "No! Not superpowers! Talent enhancement! Not everything can be a reference to your comic books, Spike!"

Spike wanted to argue on that point, as he and Cutup often had deep philosophical discussions on just about everything over the latest issue of Power Ponies*, but he knew better than that. Instead, he just picked up the potion to give it a discerning inspection. "So, it's complete right? Now what?"

"Stage two of the experiment, testing and observation." Twilight moved over to the other side of the room to fetch her clipboard and a fresh quill.

Spike shrugged. And here's where the lab assistant comes in, he'd watched enough sci-fi flicks to know that much. "Okay then, bottoms up."

Twilight abruptly turned, eyes wide to the little dragon who was beginning to lift the beaker's edge to his lips. "SPIKE, NO!!!"

She nearly tackled him to the ground in her dash to cup her hoof over his mouth. "Don't drink it! That's the absolute last thing you want to do!"

Spike blinked as he pulled Twilight's hoof down. "Wait, this potion is supposed to work if you drink it, right?"
"Yes."
"And you don't want anyone to drink it."
"Yes."
"But you do want to test it."
"Yes."

He threw his arms up in the air at Twilight's logic. "That makes no sense! How do you test a potion if you don't drink it?!"

"By running a series of magical simulations to determine the resulting effects of each dose," Twilight explained. "Multiple times to verify the predicted result. Physical sampling groups with placebos can begin after we've gathered more data."

"And that's easier than just drinking it?"

Twilight's ears turned downward in annoyance at her assistant. "Spike, you have to understand, the scientific process of evaluating a new discovery is designed to have safety as the number one priority, not the result! This potion is theoretically a talent enhancer, but in actuality I can't be sure exactly what it does. For all we know, it could be very dangerous if consumed."

Spike thought about it for a moment. "So it could turn you into a monster!"

Twilight shut her eyes as she rubbed the bridge of her muzzle. "Yes, Spike. It could turn you into monster," she relented. "Though I am highly sure that is not one of the more probable outcomes in this case."

"Okay, okay. So much longer until we're done with this childhood project of yours?"

Twilight was already scribbling down a checklist and schedule for herself. "Full scale analysis should take at least a week, but if we're lucky you could be helping me write down my thesis for Princess Celestia by this Saturday."

"Whoa whoa whoa! Hold your horses, Twilight! Pardon my expression. But you're gonna have to be writing that thesis by yourself if it's on Saturday. Cause I've got plans for Saturday, BIG plans!"

"Plans? What kind of big plans?" Twilight asked out of pure curiosity.

"Have you forgotten what this Saturday is?" Spike asked back incredulously.

"Of course not, Saturday is Hearts and Hooves-oh..." Twilight suddenly had a big grasp on what Spike's big plans were, and who they were with. "Sorry Spike. I guess that is pretty important to you."

"You bet it is," Spike stated smugly. "And you know, maybe you should make an effort to find a date for yourself this year."

Twilight shook her head with a chuckle. "I wouldn't exactly call just sitting in Octavia's apartment to listen to her newest solo she's practicing for the Grand Galloping Gala a date."

"It is what it is," Spike said, claws on his hips. "And what it is, is quality time between me and my cello paragon with nopony else for the very first time! Won't be surprised if we're exchanging cute nicknames by the end of the day."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure she already has a cute nickname for you, casanova," Twilight teased. "Speaking of which, we should be heading out to meet up with her and the others soon at Auntie's place. Apparently Auntie's made arrangements for our fitting for this year's gala."

"Yeah, it's lucky she decided to call in a professional when she saw your idea for a perfect gala dress."

"Hello Twilight. Hi Spike," Honey greeted the pair as they strode in through the revolting doors of Orange Hotel.

"Hi girls," Twilight greeted back. "Has the designer arrived yet?"

"Auntie just left to escort her from the train station ten minutes ago," said Blossomforth. "Should be here very soon. This is so exciting, I've never been custom fitted for a dress before."

"I've never worn a dress period," Honey topped.

"So anyways," Twilight continued the topic of discussion, "anypony here know anything about the clothesmaker Auntie hired for us?"

"Not much," Honey admitted. "All we can tell is that she's a friend of Auntie's niece in Ponyville who was recommended to her immediately after she wrote to her about how we were all going to the Grand Galloping Gala this year. Apparently she's done quality orders for the event every year since she started."

"Well it's only natural this dressmaker has at least that much experience under her belt," Trixie figured. "Ponies such as the Great and Powerful Trixie deserve only the most skilled and qualified tailors to be able to match her own unattainable charisma."

"Didn't you say your mentor got you your hat and cape at a Fillydelphia swap meet?" Blossomforth asked.

"It was a bazaar of the utmost and amazing quality!" Trixie defended. "Besides, Trixie was his dearest protégé. He was allowed to give her gifts like that."

Spike meanwhile took the liberty of courting his kind and lovely musician fair, while Twilight was busy talking it up with the others. "Hey, Octavia. How's the song coming along?"

"Inspiration is a trait obtained through luck, not skill," Octavia warned. "But my luck so far has been fortunate this week. I'll have the finishing touches to the coda by tonight. I trust you are still looking forward to attending my rehearsal?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Spike answered. "What kind of dragon would I be if I ignored the request of a lady as lovely as yourself?"

Octavia just smiled and gave him a kind stroke over the frills on his head. "Considering the belligerent nature of almost all dragons outside of Equestria, still better than most. In all honesty though, I am glad to have someone take time out of their schedule to help critique me this year."

"Well, that's what friends like me are for," Spike shot her a shoot and wink. But really, what's to critique about a mare as perfect as Octavia? She's kind, she's polite, she's well groomed and talented, and so modest! She really is the kind of pony who-

Spike stopped as his gaze drifted towards the entrance and caught something out of the corner of his vision.
who-
His pupils locked on to a pair of long fluttering eyelashes.
who-
A pristine, soft white coat and a trio of diamond cut jewels filled his vision.
w-who-wh-wh-who...
Purple, silky hair with ribbon-like curls bounced with each step closer to him.
"Who...is that?" he whispered.

The picture of beauty stopped before the group as an older and more familiar figure walked up next to them.

"Ah, hello darlings," Orange Sherbet greeted. "Glad to see you're all here."

"You as well Auntie," Twilight replied. "Is this the designer you hired for us?"

"Most certainly," Sherbet gave a welcoming gesture to the new pony among them. "Would like to introduce yourself?"

"I would be most delighted to," the fair unicorn accepted. She batted her eyelashes once as she gave a small clearing of her throat before putting on her most winning smile. "My name is Rarity, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Author's Note

*Their latest conundrum: Does Fillisecond's power speed herself up, or slow the universe down?

1/14/2015: Oh hey! I got on the popular column, not as grand as the featured but still pretty nice for a writer of my caliber.

Act 2: A Rarity to come by

Twilight was the first to break the ice as she put a hoof forward. "It's nice to meet you Rarity. My name's-"

"Oh, of course I already know who all of you are!" Rarity primly interjected. "To think, I'm designing dresses for the Elements of Harmony! Gala dresses no less! Ohh...I am just all atingle with inspiration already!"

Sherbet lifted a hoof to the dressmaker's shoulder. "Steady there, Rarity. All in moderation. You've had a rather long train ride coming up here, and I'm sure you'd much appreciate some time to unwind after an entire half a day's travel. Why don't you join us for lunch while my porters get your luggage settled into your suite?"

"Really? Moi? Dine in your company? Oh, how gracious of you! I suppose it would only be in good etiquette that I accept your offer, Madame Sherbet."

"Come now darling, you're my dear Applejack's close associate. When we're not on the clock, you may call me Auntie." Sherbet then addressed the lanky piebald bellhop that was crawling by at a turtle's pace, not able to even stand straight from the mountain of bags and cases stacked on top of his back. "Yes, Trolley Good. Just send those up to the third room on the 67th floor, thank you very much."

Her worker gave a strained grin and a nod, and he had taken not half a step further when the mare he was carrying for cried out. "Oh! Wait a moment! If I'm going to luncheon with distinguished clientele, I had best look a tad more presentable for them. Pardon me..."

With a glow of her horn she whipped out a sea green longchamp bag from the bottom of the baggage mass, which promptly collapsed in an attempt to fill the missing space. The poor porter surfaced with a struggle, clearly distressed at his sudden suffering for a short brimmed purple felt hat, a thin red silken scarf, and a pair of rose-tinted cat eye glasses that the fashionista was fishing out of the bag.

His mood soon alleviated itself though, when Rarity also pulled out a glittering emerald and tucked it into his shirt pocket. "A little tip, my good sir. And thank you once again."

The group made their way under Sherbet's guidance to the dining hall, with Twilight doubling back to pick up a transfixed Spike. "Spike? Come on, Spike. We're going to lunch now."

The little dragon didn't even realize he was riding on his guardian's back until his nose caught the smell of today's hotel special, prime morel mushrooms braised in chestnut sauce, coming from the back of the kitchens. "Hmm? Huh?" His bearings were regained only for two seconds before he found a pair of sapphire eyes staring back at his own.

"Oh? And who is this little one?" Rarity scrutinized what was perhaps the first real dragon she ever saw in her life. "I don't believe I'm acquainted with...whoever it is you are."

Spike could only stare back blankly with mouth agape at the pretty face that seemed to be glowing in his vision, so Twilight answered for him.

"Oh, he's Spike, the dragon. I hatched him from an egg right before I became Princess Celestia's student. He's my number one assistant and friend."

Rarity gave a sincere smile and patted him on the frills. "Well, aren't you just the sweetest little thing? You are certainly a very lucky mare Twilight, having your own personal helper who's just oh, so adorable!"

"I-hee...heh...I am pretty amazing to have around." Spike blushed under the caress of Rarity's hoof.

As they sat themselves down at their table, the little dragon made a beeline for the spot right next to his new and gorgeous unicorn friend.

"Really? So that's how you met Applejack?" Honey asked between mouthfuls of her heirloom tomato salad. "Your little sister and her little sister?"

"Well, more or less." Rarity tentatively chewed a strawberry before continuing. "Ever since Sweetie Belle joined that quaint little club of hers, we couldn't help but run into each other whenever they got together. Of course, I am a bit contrite to say we didn't exactly, to use her term of phrase, 'hit it off with each other'. Granted, after the first ten declinations to beautify that...rustic charm of hers, I figured we could settle to keep our distances to mere meet and greet acquaintances. The real friction, however, started a month or two back...when I was trying to finish up this 20 piece order for a client in Trottingham..."

"Sweetie Belle was up to her usual antics, trying to help out as she waited for her friends..."

"Won't you at least let me help you clean up?" the little green eyed unicorn begged her older sister.

"No. You've helped me quite enough," Rarity firmly scolded as she picked up the last of the scattered fabrics and uprighted her last overturned ponyquin.

"I'm sorry, sis!" Sweetie Belle insisted at her latest mess. "I just thought that if I could help, I might find my special gift and finally earn my cutie mark."

"I understand. It's just that...I need this time to fill this order without any...complications." Rarity placed the last ball of yarn back on the shelf. "Okay, all done. Now, back to work. I've lost a lot of time, and I cannot have any more interruptions."

Just then the doorbell rang.

"What now?" Rarity groaned.

"That was when Applejack showed up with her little sister Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle's other friend, Scootaloo."

"Heya Rares-woah!" Applejack tripped over herself as her little cream colored sister and the orange pegasus filly zoomed right under her legs at a dam bursting speed.

"Hi, Rarity!" they sped past without even waiting for a reply and surprisingly braked instantly in front of their other member without crashing. "Hey, Sweetie Belle!"

Sweetie Belle perked up instantly. "Scootaloo! Apple Bloom!"

Applejack picked up her stetson hat as the trio began to babble on about their plans for the night. "Heh, Ah swear. If Apple Bloom put that much vigor in 'er chores every day..."

"Yes, quite..." Rarity cleared her throat a bit to ease the tension in her voice. "Are you sure these three can't stay over at your place this time? I am a tad behind in my work..."

"Ah told ya last time. Big Mac an' Ah have overnight deliveries and Granny's out visitin' Uncle Apple Strudel. Ya certainly don't want yer sister ta be locked up in a big ol' house with no grownups around, do ya?"

"Yes, I suppose that's true..." Rarity admitted. "Well! I've just have to set a few more ground rules in that case."

"And then it happened..."

"Cutie Mark Crusader sleepover at Rarity's! Yay!"

"And... look what I made us!" Sweetie Belle triumphantly donned a flashy cape with an emblem of a pony embroidered on and gold silk lining the undersides.

Her two friends ooh'd and ahh'd at the set of club uniforms, while her big sister had a slightly different reaction.

"*SHRIEK* SWEETIE BELLE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!"

The fillies' ears all wilted at the sudden realization they just might be in trouble. Rarity zipped up to her sewing machine and pulled out the ream of cloth it was holding, pupils shrinking at the three very large square holes that now took up most of it.

"That was the last of my gold silk! Ohhh...the order's ruined, RUINED! I'll never be able to make more of this before tomorrow!"

"Well, ain't too much a bother, right? Just use some other cloth that looks like it," Applejack hopefully suggested.

"Bear in mind, I probably wouldn't have reacted that intensely any other time but...even a lady's nerves can only take so much at once!"

"Just use some other cloth? JUST SOME OTHER CLOTH?! Do you not realize just how graceless and insulting I'd be to my client if I used 'just some other cloth' to replace this!? Well then, why don't you just replace that garish and old wrinkled thing you call a hat with 'just some other hat'?"

Applejack held her hat flat against her head in defense. "Hey now! Ah told you the first time y'all suggested that. This here's mah ma's hat, it's special! This an' that are two completely different things, Rare."

"Well, I suppose a sweaty uncultured country farm girl like yourself wouldn't understand the intricacies that dictate the rules of fashion, would she? Guess I can't fault you for that." She turned away, looking to the trio of fillies and then to her ruined cloth. "Although I do note, my dear Sweetie Belle never started doing anything so inconsiderate until she met your sister..."

"Oh no, you didn't..."
"Afraid so, my dear Blossomforth. It was a low and crass blow, but I just could not help myself in my current state of mind. The reaction was as any of you would expect..."

"Beg pardon?!" Rarity suddenly found herself nose to nose with a huffing Applejack. "Whaddya sayin' Rarity? That mah Apple Bloom's a bad in-flu-ence? Is that what yer accusin' of?"

"Well I'm just saying fillies of her and Sweetie's age are so impressionable. It's only natural they take after the ponies that raise them."

The three foals were slowly backing into a huddled corner at the increasingly scary situation as the two mare were now baring their pearly whites.

"Oh, so now yer sayin' Ah ain't rearin' my lil' sis right, huh?!" Applejack leaned against her muzzle forcefully.

Rarity leaned right back with a surprising amount of strength. "I wouldn't say you're the worst possible custodian, but let's just say if I were teaching her a few things, number one would be to wipe her hooves before coming in after rolling all day in the muck so she doesn't get dirty hooves all over my carpet!"

"Ya wanna see dirty hooves?!" Applejack grabbed the potted rhododendrons off Rarity's windowsill and dug a forehoof deep into the moist soil. "Ah'll show ya dirty hooves!!"

And before Rarity could so much as scream, a large clod of dirt found itself on a high speed collision course with her head and-

"Oh dear, that does sound like my niece. I'm so sorry."
"No that's quite alright, Auntie. I deserved that one, loathe as I was to receive it. Needless to say, we went so far as to forbid our sisters from seeing each other after that. It didn't seem like we were going to be anything but bitter enemies then until a week later..."

"Will you hurry up an' just take those branches down Rarity?! I'm doing all the work here preppin' the town for this here thunderstorm."

Rarity sniffed disdainfully at Applejack as the farm pony bucked another mess of twigs and leaves to the ground, some even falling into her mane.

"Well excuse me for not wanting to make a mess of the town square, and myself while doing a good job."
"Good job nuthin'. The only thing you seem to be good at is your prissy, useless. frou-frou outfits. In fact, Ah bet y'all wouldn't know useful if it came up and bit'cha."
"Ha hum, that doesn't even make any sense."
"Does so."
"Does not."
"Does so."
"Does not."
"Does so."
"Does not."
"Does so infinity. Hah."
"Does not infinity plus one. Heh."
*BOOM*

A drizzle started to sprinkle down on them.

"Aw, now look what y'all did! While you wasted our time bickerin', the storm's started up before we could finish!"
"Oh no! My wonderfully styled mane shall be ruined!"
"Will ya stop fussin' over your precious mane fer one second? We gotta take cover before the full storm hits!"

"Unfortunately, the only shelter close enough and unlocked for us was the old abandoned Ponyville library."
"Abandoned?! What kind of town keeps a library abandoned?!"
"Well Twilight, no one had gone in there in years since...everypony was pretty sure there a ghost haunting it."
"...A ghost, seriously?"
"Well there was nopony living there and strange noises were coming from inside every night! It was the most plausible explanation we could think of!"
"..."
"Aheh, anyways, things weren't too much better inside than out..."

"Ugh! Look at all this silt covering the floor. Doesn't anypony dust in here?"

Applejack walked ahead as Rarity fussed over where she stepped. "Considerin' this here is the abandoned Ponyville library, Ah reckon not."

"That was hardly necessary to point out, Applejack." Rarity lit up her horn to get a better view of the lounge they were in.

Other than the abundance of dust and scarcity of home furnishings, the building inside the giant tree actually seemed to be in good shape. No rotted or worn planks, no broken shelves, they were even still full of books, albeit dusty. There was a checkout desk, some reading tables, one even had a head bust, everything for a fully functional library needed, except a librarian to work it.

Of course that didn't change a thing to how unsettling it was to be in here. It was still dark, it was still dusty and grimy, and shadows around the room still gave a foreboding feeling that something was there besides them. "So just long do we have to remain cooped up in this creepy place anyways?"

"Well, from what I've heard from the pegasi, Ah reckon the rains won't stop 'til tomorrow mornin'," Applejack said.

"What?!" Rarity was aghast in repulsion. "You mean I have to endure an entire night stuck in here? With you?"

"If ya don't like it, you and yer precious mane can take yer chances outside in rain!" Applejack opened the door again, and a torrent of wind and water blasted her in the face before she could shut it again.

Rarity gave a dry, humorless, chuckle. "Well fortunately, as a proper lady, I am well fitted to tolerate even the most unbearable and uncivil of company."

"Fine by me, this here library's big and spacious enough fer neither of us ta see each other's faces. What say we make each other scarce fer th' rest of the night?"

"Well, fine."
"Fine!"
"Fine!"

And with that, they immediately began to walk in separate directions.

Whoooooo...

Rarity stopped. "Oh, very funny, Applejack. But I am not as fragile as you think I am."

Applejack turn around. "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Rarity? And cut it out with those spooky ghost noises!"

"That's what I should be telling you!" Rarity huffed. "Just because things have supposedly been going bump in the night around here, doesn't mean you can play on those-"

Whoooooo...

Rarity paused, staring at Applejack's tightly closed mouth. "That...wasn't you..."

"Neither...was it you..." she mirrored back at Rarity.

Whoooooo!
*CRACK* *BOOM*

A crack of blinding lightning and uproarious thunder suddenly drove them into each other's trembling hooves.

"Um...uh...maybe for the sake of survival...we should remain within eyesight," Rarity nervously suggested.
"Uh...uh huh...wouldn't want ta git lost in here..." Applejack agreed.

"Well, for next hour or so, we ended up scaring ourselves silly over the smallest of things. A dust rag fell on me while I was checking out the stationary closet and I thought a swarm of bats were attacking. Applejack brushed her leg up against a broken quill and thought a spider was crawling up her. And we practically jumped into each other hooves every time that voice out of nowhere wailed at the most unexpected of times. Eventually, we found our way upstairs and found there was an old cot we could sleep on for the night..."

"Keep your muddy hooves on your side of the bed," Rarity whispered harshly.

"My hooves ain't muddy," Applejack whispered back.

"They were before," Rarity asserted. "There might still be a little on them."

"There ain't. See?" Applejack turned over to flash her hoof in front of Rarity.

"Eww!" Rarity recoiled and rolled back over, taking the only blanket they could find in the place with her.

"Now who's bein' inconsiderate?" Applejack huffed and yanked the covers back.

Rarity hopped out and pushed Applejack off. "Now I have to make the bed again because of all your tossing and turning!"

Applejack rolled her eyes as Rarity nipped and tucked the corners together.

"Ah ah ah! You'll ruin it," Rarity said with a raised hoof before Applejack could get back on. "You have to do it like this."

And she scooted herself in ever so slowly before sighing in contentment amongst the unruffled sheets.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Geronimo!" Applejack cannonballed the bed, knocking Rarity out and once again claiming the covers all for herself.

"You did that on purpose!" Rarity cried.

"Can't hear ya, I'm asleep." And Applejack gave off some fake snores just to mock Rarity further.

Rarity tore the warm covers away. "Get up so I can fix it again."

"Y'know what? I ain't budgin'," Applejack groused.

"You will if you want any blankets-Hey!" Rarity suddenly found herself in a game of tug-of-war with Applejack.

"Give it back!"
"I will not!"
"Yes, you will!"
"Won't!"
"Will!"
"Won't!"
"Will!"
"Won't!"
"Will!"
Whoooooo!
"Oh, will you just shut up?!" they both yelled into the darkness from where the ghostly voice wailed.

"That was when the thunder came down, so to speak."

A massive bolt struck the top of the library, something that probably wouldn't have happened had there been a magic lightning rod installed in that tree by somepony, and without warning a large muddy branch came crashing right down through the roof on top of them!

Applejack, reacting a second quicker than Rarity shoved her out of the impact zone right before she herself became sandwiched between a bed and a wooden place.

"Ungh!" She grunted in pain. A feeble attempt at pulling herself out notified her that she was pinned from the torso down. And the rain coming in certainly wasn't making things more comfortable.

Rarity, shaking her head a few times to regain her bearing, gasped and crept forward as much as she dared without getting her hooves in the puddles of water, mud, and sap. "Applejack! Are you alright?"

Applejack panted a bit, her breathing regulating as the adrenaline rush wore off. "Hah...yeah...yeah Ah'm okay."
*creeeeeeeak...crack*

The mass of bed, branches, and pony suddenly lurched downward as the sound of snapping wood could heard from beneath Applejack. Apparently, the floor was not designed in mind to hold that much weight in one spot. Eyes wide, the earth pony desperately tried to squeeze herself out again, but to no avail.

Then there was another snap, and another lurch.

"Aah! Ah, ah, on second thought, Ah'm not okay! Definitely not okay!" Applejack madly clawed at the floorboards which she was beginning to sink past.

Rarity's eyes widened in alarm at the situation before her, and what would happen should the floorboards completely give way with Applejack still trapped on top of them. She frantically looked around for a pole or some rope. Finding nothing to extend her reach, she gulped and moved closer, only to stop at the edge of the hole in the ceiling, where the rain was freely pouring in.

*CRRRRRACK*
"Ahh!" Applejack whimpered.

And like how a runner sprung off to the sound of a starter pistol, Rarity plunged into the thick of the squall. Her front hooves clutched the underside of the branch as she groaned to heave it upwards.

*crack* *CRACK*

She could feel the weight pulling her hooves down. It was no use, she couldn't budge it. And the snaps were becoming more frequent as more of the supporting planks failed. Rarity's mind raced for an answer knowing she had precious few seconds left. If only this branch was like her bonsai assortments. Those were much lighter to carry and smaller too-

A spark lit up in the back of her eyes. Without a moment to lose she flared her horn furiously, and the huge branch became a set of thirty different potted tree trimmings, which she easily swept off of Applejack's backside. Gripping her front hooves, she heaved the distressed farmer up onto the ledge. A moment later the bed fell through with a final snap and the devastating crash could be heard from the floor below.

A still moment passed. Then Applejack croaked a weak chuckle. Rarity did the same, and gradually the pair's weak chortles grew into a vibrant mix of laughs, tears, and hugs.

"Oh, look at me. I'm all filthy!" Rarity said at last as she felt her soggy straight mane and sticky sap covered coat.

"Yeah, but ya did save mah life there," Applejack comforted.

"But of course!" Rarity exclaimed. "I can always wash out this dreadful mess on me. But you...I can't very well fix a broken you!"

"Heh, yeah, thanks." Applejack went and fetched her hat from the rain.

"And I certainly wouldn't have been able to save you if you hadn't saved me first," Rarity continued. "I mean, you just pushed me out of the way instead of leaping back yourself!"

"Well, kinda how Ah was raised," Applejack explained. "Ma always told me, the time ya got fer yerself is only the time ya got after others. It's why Ah'm always helpin' other townsfolk with their odds an' ends." She then shifted a leg against another as she looked slightly downwards. "Hey, Rarity? Ah'm sorry Ah've been all hot an' bothered with y'all lately. Ah thought with all yer fussiness and primpin' y'all didn't care 'bout anything but yerself. But ya went got yerself all messy just fer me back there and...well Ah now know ya know what's important when it boils down ta it."

"I...I'm sorry too Applejack. You're untidy, crude, and have no sense at all concerning your wardrobe, but you are most certainly not a bad role model if you can go out of your way for me after all the things I've said to you. And furthermore, it was wrong for me to pin my frustrations on you or our sisters." She held out a hoof. "Perhaps we could use this moment to get to know ourselves better and start over on a...clean slate, as they say?"

"Heh, Ah'd say we'd be dumb not to. Ya got yerself a deal Rares!" Applejack lifted her own hoof up...right before she spat into it and reached out.

Rarity of course jerked her own hoof back. "Oh! Gross! You know, there's messy and there's just plain rude."

Applejack scowled for a moment, but then she looked at her hoof and decided to wipe it off on her muddy coat. She then held the muddy, but spit-free hoof out. "Baby steps?"

Rarity looked to the messy hoof that, in her opinion, wasn't much improvement. But then she looked at her own hoof, which was pretty muddy regardless thanks to her efforts. And with that, she reached out to touch the tips with a tiny smirk on her face. "Baby steps."

Rarity giggled as her recollection came to a close. "We made quite a pair that night we made amends, we even managed to solve the whole mystery of the specter haunting the place. Turned out after the rains stopped and we went to tidy up the mess left behind, we found a makeshift nest of books in the upwards corner between two shelves where an owl had made its home. After we spread the word of our ghost's identity, just about every pony in town with an overdue book flocked to library to make returns. To our surprise, that owl was actually very clever, as he took the books in his talons and reshelved them in all the right places. Believe or not, I, Applejack, and the mayor got the library refurnished and reopened, with Owlington officially instated as our new librarian, that's who we're naming the owl by the way."

"Really? I would have gone with Owlowiscious," Twilight speculated.

"Oh, but enough about me," Rarity insisted. "I'm sure I've talked an ear or two off you ladies. Why don't you tell me a little about yourselves?"

That was an opportunity cue for Trixie if she ever heard one. "Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie is not one to brag but-"

"Really? I hear you do it every time I see you," Blossomforth interrupted.

The rest of Trixie's friends shared a short giggle at that, while Rarity took the moment to dip into her celery stew.

She almost spat it out. "Oh! Dear me, it seems this has gone cold whilst I was meandering small talk. A chilled flavor just doesn't do for this sort of dish."

"Oh, goodness me. Don't worry your pretty little head over it dearie," Sherbet assured. "I can have my chef bring out a hot fresh one just for you."

"Oh! Wait! I can help!" Spike saw a golden chance to rescue the distraught maiden fair. Taking the bowl into his claws, he lifted it up and gently breathed a simmering flame beneath it. He proudly presented the now steaming warm brew to his diner. "Your meal, milady."

Rarity took another sip with her spoon, and her smile widened. "Ooh, this is much better! You're such a good little boy, Spikey-wikey! Here." She pulled out a sparkling red tip for the little dragon, who held it in his claws like it was the most important thing in the world.

Rubies...my favorite!

Spike popped the gem into his mouth, and he could feel the richness of the gem's quality with each crunch. So sweet and pure~

Just like her...

"This is where I'm going to work?!"

Rarity's mouth hung open at the sight of the design studio Orange Sherbet had rented out for her. The room alone seemed to take up the entirety of the building's floor. Red and purple velvet lacing and curtains lined the walls and windows. Her fabrics and tools were already stocked and set up among the rows of shelves that stood like a supermarket aisle. There were ten different fitting rooms to the side, each marked with different hues of orange. A showcase display, complete with plexiglass casing, was placed at the front and could seemingly exhibit twenty samples at once. A sketch corner at the eastern end had not only a large table and headlight, but a blackboard, whiteboard, tackboard and vertical stands to hang papers from. The machines lined up under the low hanging light fixtures included not only several different kinds of sewing machines and a cloth press, but an automatic knitter, loom, steamer, decal maker and sequin machine, all professional business grade. And smack dab in the center was a marble stair and runway, complete with a full set of floor lights and music player.

"Do you not like it?" Sherbet asked. "I could always arrange for something if you want."

"No, I don't like it..." Rarity said as she took a few steps forward. She then whirled around with an ecstatic grin on her face. "I LOVE it!"

She bounced around giddily, squealing like a schoolfilly. "Ohh, this is marvelous! I have everything I need here to make...to make...EVERYTHING! I can't wait any longer, I have GOT to break in this atelier right now! Oh! That's it!" A swarm of tape measures and rulers flew up behind and above her, basked in her horn's glow. "Since you're all here, let's get started with your measurements!"

Blossomforth waved a front leg. "Ooh, ooh! I'm a dress size 10."

"No Blossomforth, this isn't like picking out a sweater at the mall," Honey explained. "These dresses are being made from scratch. What Rarity wants are our full body measurements, side-to-side, head-to-tail."

"Actually, it's shoulder to flank," Rarity corrected. "Let's start with you!"

With that, Honey was abruptly yanked onto the platform with a 'yipe!' as the measuring tape enveloped her every which way possible.

"Bust: 4.22 hooves. Waist: 3.93 hooves. Hips: 4.5 hooves. Length: 3.3 hooves shoulder to flank, 4.4 flank to ankle. Inseam: 3.2 hooves. My, Miss Daring, I guess all that adventuring you do in your novels really does do a figure good."

"Yeah, it couldn't possibly be the one hour workouts I do at the gym every Sunday," Honey said as she rolled her eyes. "No, it has to be my grand explorations and brilliant excavations in which I spend half the time sitting in a carriage or airship and another fourth reviewing my site notes and translating ancient text in my tent that are the key factor to my physical fitness."

The dressmaker seemed nonplussed at her client's response, to which she turned to the others for appropriate feedback. "Touchy subject?" she ventured.

"Very touchy," they chorused.

"I see. Well, do excuse me." She undid her tape gingerly and bade Honey to step down and make room. "Next please!"

Trixie obliged her as she repeated her process.

"Bust: 4.28 hooves. Waist: 4.25 hooves-"
"4.1."

Rarity blinked. "Excuse me?"

Trixie turned her head to meet Rarity from behind. "Trixie's waist is 4.1 hooves."

Rarity's mouth formed a knowing grin. "Now darling, your waistline is nothing to be ashamed of. It's just a number."

"And that number is 4.1 hooves," Trixie stated adamantly. "She did not gain weight since her last check up nine months ago!"

Rarity now donned the chiding motherly frown. "Now Trixie, do you want your dress to be form-fitting or suffocating? Trust me when I say I've fitted mares in far worse shape and they've turned out splendidly."

"And Trixie would like to reiterate a classic business credo: The customer is always right. 4.1 hooves!"

Rarity raised an eyebrow at her, then hid a knowing smirk as she secretly penned down the number 4.25. "Very well, 4.1 hooves it is. The customer is always right, as you say."

"And this customer is Trixie!" she proclaimed smugly as Rarity finished up the rest of her body. "So that makes her doubly right!"

"Don't two rights make a wrong?" Blossomforth asked.

"No Blossomforth, it's two wrongs don't make a right," Octavia corrected.

"Next up~" Rarity sang.

After Blossomforth's ticklish giggling, and Twilight's insistence to convert her measurements to metric units, there were six different stacks of measurements neatly filed onto the dressmaker's drawing table. "Next."

The mares looked to one another. "But, that's all of us," Blossomforth pointed out.

"Oh, I wouldn't say all of you have been fitted just yet." Rarity pulled the little dragon up and positioned him to lift his arms to the side.

"Huh? Me?" he asked.

"Oh. Well I didn't really commission you for Spike darling," Sherbet said. "Given his species, I was planning on having a tailor more accustomed to non-equine anatomies outfit his suit."

"Oh, nonsense darling," Rarity insisted as she marked Spike's height. "Perhaps this is the first dragon I've worked with, but a good designer never shies away from a chance to expand her area of expertise. And besides..." She playfully tousled the frills on his head. "It would rude to exclude a little charming crumpet such as this from fabulosity!"

Spike fidgeted his fingers as he could practically smell the clean fragrance of the mare this close up. "Well, ah...I do like being included more often..."

"Well, if you really want to, I suppose I should add a few more bits to the-"

"Ah-aup-aup-aup!" Rarity interjected with a raised hoof. "You already given me a far more generous payment, in advance I add, than I could ask for already. Consider this a gift for Spikey-wikey, on my time."

Spike grinned widely as she tickled his chin. Wow, some free duds just for me? Looks like the old Spike charm's really working it today!

"Ooo! Yes, right there! That's the sweet spot!" Rarity squealed in delight as the masseuse firmly kneaded her backside. As the filer came over and started on her horn, she rolled her head over to thank her gratuitous host. "Oh, Auntie, darling! How did you know this was just what I wanted after today's work?"

Sherbet looked up over her magazine from under the mane curler she was sitting in. "Well Rarity, darling, it's really quite simple. Everypony wants to relax after hours on the job. And what would any new mare in town want more to relax by than sampling the finest in refreshing your body this city has to offer? After all, it worked quite well for Blossomforth's darling friend Fluttershy last time."

"Oh, I know darling! She and I have dates for Aloe and Lotus' Sunday special every week!"
"I should have guessed you had a weekly regime back home darling, it certainly shows on your coat."
"Oh Auntie, you flatterer! But you're certainly no stranger to looking your best yourself. That necklace you wear is just darling!"
"You like it? Well darling, if you want, I can show you where I bought mine next time. Maybe we could find one that fits you."
"Ooo! Jewelry shopping! I daresay Auntie, darling, we are going to get along just fine, you and I."

"Ugh, if Trixie has to hear the word ‘darling’ one more time…"

Sherbet and Rarity looked to Trixie getting acupuncture treatment on table two stations to the left of them. "Just like if we have to hear the name 'Trixie' one more time...darling?" Rarity teased.

Trixie mulled over the fact as modestly as she could. "Point taken- aah!" she yelped a bit as a needle found its way into her flank, "In more ways than one."

An overhead ring-a-ling sounded as Sherbet pulled the hood over her head up. "That's the 15 minute warning bell for closing. We should be finishing up our session soon."

"But I haven't even gotten to the hydrotherapy pools yet," Rarity whined. Her pout however, was met with indifferent silence. "Oh fine," she relented as if she had made a difficult choice to compromise over a heartrending dilemma. She got up off the table, put the hoof gloss back on the shelf, and proceeded to follow Sherbet through the facilities towards the front.

Trixie freed the last stubborn pin from her shoulders and looked to the mud bathes Twilight and Octavia were wallowing in. "Coming, Sparkle?" she called.

Twilight lifted the cucumber off her seaweed mask. "Oh, we'll need a few more minutes to clean up once we get out. Go on ahead, we'll meet you outside."

Steam erupted from the sauna doors as Honey, Spike, and Blossomforth emerged fully robed and refreshed. "Whew! How hot do you think it was in there?" Blossomforth asked causally.

"Hot enough to make a dragon sweat!" Honey joked, ribbing Spike playfully.

"Yeah, that's the first time I've ever heard that one," Spike commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm. All dry humor left him though as he saw the ivory goddess that went by Rarity pass through to the spa's lobby. She had been beautiful before, but after her spa treatment, she was drop dead gorgeous! Her glossy coat shined pure radiance in even the dimmest of lights, her face was flawless, graced with the perfect smile of warm feeling that could melt the iciest of hearts, and her proud, sashaying gait maximized the voluptuous appeal of every curve of her body, just enough to display but not flaunt.

"Uh, Spike? Are you drooling?" Blossomforth's question snapped him out of it.

"Uh, well..." Spike's stomach took the opportunity to give a small growl. Whew! Saved by the gut! "It is almost dinnertime, you know...and I just couldn't help thinking about that nice big hunk of garnet I had stashed away back at the library."

"Aww...did I just hear that poor Spikey is hungry?" Rarity asked as she approached the conversation. "Growing boys do need their nutrients. Here, let me get you something to hold that tummy of yours." Her horn quickly fetched and paid for a fruit smoothie from the spa's health bar.

Spike eagerly sipped down on the tasty beverage, hearts blinding his vision. Another gracious gift from the most lovely unicorn in the world...that cinched it for his mindset, he just had to do something great for her! Something meaningful, something passionate, something that would make her think the world of him! But what?

As he pondered away onto the sidewalk, Honey and Blossomforth said their goodbyes and flew off. Trixie did the same, vanishing into a cloud of blue smoke as she sped off. Sherbet, meanwhile, hailed a taxi for her and Rarity to take back to the hotel.

"So, Rarity, how was your first day in Manehattan, to your liking I hope?"

"Oh Auntie, it was marvelous! I feel I could move here if I didn't already have my sights on Canterlot! Rest assured, I promise I will not disappoint you after such gratifying hospitality you've given me. By my horn, I swear I will have your dream dresses ready by the end of this week, and no later!"

"Six custom dresses by this weekend? That seems quite the deadline," Sherbet worried. "There's no need for that much express."

Rarity just laughed. "Oh, Auntie. You make it sound as if it's going to be hard."

"Well...would you at least like me to lend you an assistant or two?" Sherbet suggested. "It's easy to lose pacing working on something all by yourself."

"Well..." Rarity considered presumably. "I suppose given the novelty of my work environment, it may be useful to have someone else by my side to help me get into the flow-"

"I'll do it!"

Their heads turned to little purple dragon with his hand raised high and his eyes bright with eagerness. Realizing he had gotten their attention, he quickly pulled it down to clear his throat and play it as cool as possible. "That is, I already have years of experience being a number one assistant, and I really don't have anything more important to do around then. So I'd be glad to lend my services to you, Rarity."

"Truly? Oh Spikey-wikey, you truly are such a gentlecol- uh, gentledragon. You don't know how much this means to me." She leaned down to give him a quick peak on the forehead. "Drop by this Saturday, I'll be sure to have everything ready to go by then. Ta ta~"

Spike simply stood still as a statue as Rarity boarded her carriage and rode off with Sherbet. He then stiffly fell over, his face all goofy and flushed. "I am never washing this forehead again..."

I've got a date! With that beautiful, beautiful Rarity! Just me and her together in her studio! This Saturday can't come soon enough! Hang on, why does that day sound familiar? Was I going to do something that day?

Twilight then stepped outside with Octavia. The first she did was notice Spike's lovelorn expression sprawled out all over the pavement in front of her. "Okay...I think Spike's reached his activity limit for today. I better get him home."

Octavia smiled. "He is after all, still a baby dragon," she mirrored Twilight's thoughts as she propped him up back on his two feet. "Have a good night Spike," she whispered. "I'm sure Saturday's rehearsal won't be nearly as draining on you."

Lovely images of a pristine white unicorn slowly transformed into equally graceful pictures of refined and warm gray earth pony.
Oh yeah...that's right. I'm going to Octavia's apartment Saturday for an engagement with her and her sweet music. Just me and her on...SATURDAY!?!

His eyes popped wide open as he watched Octavia trot away into the darkness of the evening's twilight, his brain finally connecting the dots.

Oh no! I'm meeting Octavia for a private concert date this Saturday, but now I'm also meeting Rarity for a dress design date this Saturday too! I...I've just made two dates for the same day! Which means...which means-!

If the little dragon had hair, he would have pulled it out by now as his claws dug deep into his scalp.

"SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

Act 3: Can you have your cake...

Spike paced in circles around Twilight's usual pacing spot. The irony was not lost on him, but unlike her usual study and schedule trifles this was something serious to worry about.

"Okay...okay...this can't be that bad right? I mean, they're generous and kind mares, right? They'll be able to understand right?"

His optimism held for about two seconds before he slammed the top of his head against the bookshelves. "Who am I kidding?!" he cried, arms up in the air helplessly. "I've listened to enough of Auntie's radio dramas to know exactly what's going to happen if I don't do something!"

Rarity sat lovingly upon her loveseat as she leaned into the side of the tall, handsome, masculine drake that held her in tender embrace.

"Ohhhh Spikey...you're so romantic..."
"I'm only half the paramour I am without you to complete me, my fair maiden..."
"You have such a ways with words...I can only imagine how good your lips are at...other ways to please a lady...take me..."

And together they leaned in, lips pursed, when suddenly the door flew open and Octavia entered the scene, swooning in horror!

"Spike! How COULD you?!" she cried, hoof on her heart. "You told me I was your true love!"

"No, wait! Dearest, I can explain!" Spike raised his muscular claw up in protest.

Rarity pulled back, swooning even harder. "Ohhhh!! Dearest?! You...you've been seeing her behind my back? Was my heart just a gumball you could chew up and spit out anytime you wanted?!"

Spike's handsome face flipped back to Rarity, who's mascara was already beginning to run. "No, no! Precious, it isn't like that!"

"Precious?!" Octavia's voice cracked as her lip quivered.

Spike seesawed between each tear soaked faced as his anxiety grew by the second. "Please, sugarplum, let me-"
"Sugarplum?!"
"H-hold on, honeypot, if you could just-"
"Honeypot!?"
"......cupcake?"
"CUPCAKE?!"

A pair of hoofslaps painted both of his cheeks a sore red, and then a rain of salty eye drops poured over his head from two gorgeous fountains.

"I'll never love another dragon again!" the two heartbroken mares sobbed in sync, dashing out of the room in opposite directions.

And with that, the strapping stud of a dragon was left dumbfounded on his knees, waist deep in the tears. A nearby bouquet of roses on the table instantly wilted as a spotlight shown over him in the growing darkness of the room.

Will Spike be labeled the enemy of all females? Is he destined to die sad and alone in his huge, edible crystal mansion? Can Featherweight survive his upcoming heart surgery? And who is Daring Do's real father? Find out all these answers and more, on the next...All my Romantic Trainwreck Fantasies!

Spike raised his fists to the heavens and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOO-"

"-OOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Spike!" Twilight's voice came from above."Keep it down! I'm trying to hypothesize here!"

Spike blinked, and looked around to find he was still in the library foyer. He wiped the sweat off his brow in relief to know he wasn't drowning in the broken dreams of two lovesick mares.

Yet.

Spike hopped up onto his feet and began to resume his pacing. "Okay, Spike. Don't panic, you can think of something to avoid breaking those fragile ladies' hearts, you're a smart dragon. You got about 24 hours, that's plenty of time to come up with a plan. I mean, how hard can it really be, dating two ponies at the same time?"

"This is all but impossible!"

The Ponyville fashionista crumpled another sketching into her near overflowing wastebasket as she fumed before her captive audience. At Sherbet's suggestion, Rarity had agreed to bring her clients in to critique her preliminary designs and see if they were to their liking before she actually started doing any physical designing. And while the forethought had seemed useful at conception, when it came to be Trixie's turn...

"I absolutely cannot make such outrageous and loud garments into something elegantly gala-worthy! It simply can't be done! Please, can you just accept my original idea and forgo your usual stage flair just once? I know you'll love it once you look in the mirror with it on!"

Trixie just scoffed. "But it doesn't have the Great and Powerful Trixie's cape and hat! How will ponies at the gala know the full splendor that is the Great and Powerful Trixie if she doesn't have her full ensemble somewhere on herself? The cape and hat stay in the dress design, you'll just have to make it work!"

"For Celestia's sake, mare!" Rarity snatched the edge of her cape and waved it in front of her face. "I'm a fashion designer, not a miracle worker! These stars and moons are by far the most avant-garde pattern I've ever seen, and not in the good way! And this particular purple hue, it makes it look all the more childish! You're not wearing a cape and hat, you're wearing a foal's blanket!"

"Still think this was a good idea?" Honey asked Sherbet as she checked the clock. The pair before them was now into hour three of the debate of the century.

"It they didn't argue about it now, they'd argue about it later," Sherbet reassured. "Best get them used to each other while we still have the time."

"True enough, but let me rephrase the question," Honey said dryly, "Did we have to do her before me?"

"Finicky fortune-teller!"
"Prissy clothier!"
"Ostentatious street performer!"
"Fussbudget fabricator!"

"The way I see it, they're going to be best friends by the end of this," Sherbet surmised wryly.

"I got it!" Spike said with a snap of his claws. "I can go on two dates if there are two of me!"

He climbed the ladder to the top shelf of Twilight's alchemical studies and yanked a few large volumes from the nooks. He then proceeded to flip through the pages with his eyes scanning for particular words. "Cloning potions...cloning potions...cloning potions...hah!"

He stopped his index claw on a recipe that caught his attention.

Double dabble potion
For when two minds are better than one

"And all the ingredients needed are in Twilight's lab, I can get this done in no time!"

In no less than ten minutes, Spike had rooted through the various regents in the basement and blended them together in a beaker over the burner.

"Okay, half a teaspoon of ginsenium, check. Three fourths a whole mugwart root, check. A gram of riboflavin jelly, check. Stir into eight fluid ounces of purified water and heat to 350 kelvin, check. Alright we're ready!"

Hoping that Equestria was ready for double the dragon goodness the was Spike, the little dragon grabbed the beaker and gulped it down. Instantly he felt his body warp and weave, and he oranged out for just a second before being engulfed in a puff of magenta smoke.

"Unnn..." he groaned as his head began to defog. "Did it work?"
"I dunno. I don't see another me."

Spike blinked. Another voice that was his? It must have worked! But where was the other Spike? His question was soon answer as he looked over his shoulder to meet the eyes of another purple head...connected by a neck...TO THE SAME BODY!

Needless to say, the reaction of both heads were obvious and justified: nonstop screams of pure terror*.

"I dunno...can I see it with gardenias?"

Rarity sighed and sketched over the design for...what was her count now? 27 times? The lilacs that ringed around the short cut summer dress of green and white were quickly replaced with yet another floral edit.

"Ooh, that looks nice, but what about if you had maybe...petunias on the left side?"

Rarity tried to smile sweetly at her indecisive client. "Um, Blossomforth? Darling? I do love flowers as much as the next mare, but perhaps it might be best to use embroidery a little less ephemeral? Like, perhaps a wave of topazes around the lower frills?"

Rarity winked the gems into place on the sketching, and Blossomforth ooh'd. "That's real pretty. How would it look like in chrysanthemums?"

Rarity nudged the bridge of her nose, pressing her design glasses deep against her sockets in exasperation. "If you're so unsure what floral pattern is your absolute favorite to augment your dress with, why don't you just put them all on? Or better yet, why don't I just make the entire dress out of flowers?" she muttered agitatedly.

Her rhetoric's meaning was lost on the pegasus as she gasped excitedly. "Really? You can make dresses out of flowers? I've made hair pieces, necklaces, even sandals out of flowers, but you can make them into dresses too? Can you teach me? Maybe I can become a fashion designer!"

Rarity was ready to bang her horn against the board, but before she could Sherbet walked up and whispered something in her ear.

Rarity's face lit up. "IDEEEEEAAAAA!!" With a mad flurry of marks and trims, she edited the draft with lightning speed and stuck it right in Blossomforth's face. "What if we did something like this?"

Blossomforth squinted at the picture, then she broke into a wide grin. "Oh, wow! That's perfect! I never would have thought of something like that! Let's do this one!"

Rarity and Sherbet sighed with relief.

Blossomforth then tapped her chin. "Do you think it would better in carnations though?"

Two pairs of eyes glared into her aqua irises.

"Or...not."

"Yo Twilight, ya in here? Featherweight's got an idea for our next crusade, and we need to look up a book about fly fishing- woah!"

Babs walked in with Featherweight toeing the line, stopping to see the most unusual sight in the foyer. Standing in a tub of water, and with ice packs taped all over his body, was Spike. He took the thermometer out of his mouth and looked at it closely before going 'rats' and stuck it back in.

"Uhhhh, Spike? What'chu doin'?"

Spike looked indignantly at the two foals. "What's it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to catch a cold!"

Babs and Featherweight shared a silent moment with each other before they addressed Spike again. "Oookay...why?"

"So I can get sick, of course!"

"That's generally the reason ponies want to avoid catching a cold," Featherweight reasoned. "Unless, does it do something different for dragons? Like, give you the ability to breathe ice instead of fire?"

"Look," Spike explained, "I've got to have an excuse not to be able to go out by tomorrow or I'm going to end up breaking three hearts this Hearts and Hooves day, Rarity's, Octavia's, and mine!"

"Ohh, I get it!" Babs said. "It's like that time I forgot to study for that test at the end of the week last October. In fact...I think I got an idea of my own!"

She whispered a few somethings into Featherweight's ear. "Are you sure about that? That doesn't sound so good."

"Come on Featherweight, how many ponies have you seen with a cold curing cutie mark?"
"Uh, none, cause there isn't a cure for the common cold."
"That's right! We're not going to just get our cutie marks, we're going to get FAMOUS cutie marks! We're going to cure the common cold! But to cure a cold, we first need to cause a cold. So you get cuz' and Firecracker, and I'll get spit swabs and face masks!"

Spike eyes suddenly widened as both of them ran off in their respective directions. Uh oh...

"No."
"I beg your pardon?"

Rarity backed away from the cross archeologist who was frowning at the lacy design in front of her.

"I said no," Honey repeated. "I'm not wearing that poofy, lacy, dainty as glass, snob shirt you've got drawn up for me."

"But Miss Daring, darling! I based it completely off that wonderful gown you wore at that gala in Stalliongrad during your quest for the lost tomb."

Honey flicked an ear as she raised an eyebrow. "Really? Well in that case, DOUBLE NO."

Rarity tapped her hoof hard on the floor a few times. "Oh, what could possibly be wrong with this design? It compliments your tanned complexion completely! The pearls give that more worldly refinement than any gem, and the headdress is actually quite standard in pegasi formal attire!"

"Well for starters, it's just not me." Honey flipped her pith helm off and swapped her jacket for her everyday turtleneck sweater. "I'm going to the gala this year with the intention of showing everypony the real me, museum curator and history enthusiast. It's not the adventuring in my line of work I love, it's the exploration."

She paraded up front, completely overlapping the design. "I want something that shows what I take back from my expeditions, not just what I put into it. Something that professes I genuinely love the different cultures I immerse myself in, nothing undercover, nothing bold. Something that says, 'I am Daring Do, world renown discoverer, but I'm also Honey Do, a pegasus that just likes to study old things'."

The dressmaker took a few moments to ponder this revelation, then heard the brushing of a potted frond against a window outside. Her thoughts turned to exotic lands, then to exotic materials. The pegasus in front of her board faded into an outline as various shapes and objects she could think were only used in other countries were pinned on and shuffled in experimentation.

A sure smile spread across her face finally. "I know just want to do~"

"I have no idea what I'm going to do!"

Spike now trudged the streets of Manehattan by himself, monologuing his grief. His cold solution hadn't been so hot once the crusaders had gotten involved. It went without saying that all their cold causing and cold curing attempts had done nothing but leave a bitter taste. He could still feel that dreadful concoction of lemons, cough syrup, and pickle juice Firecracker had deemed Tantalizing Tonic for the throat on the back of his tongue.

"No double me, no illness, that's all I can think of! Well, maybe time travel, but I doubt there's a spell for it just lying in a library somewhere."

Come on Spike, you can't give up here! There's too much at stake to just surrender! Think about Rarity, think about-

He bumped right into the legs of somepony just exiting a building. "Oof!" Shaking his head clear, he got back on his feet and gazed up at the passerby only to gap. "O-octavia!"

The aforementioned mare gave a warm smile in return. "Oh, hello Spike. How nice of you to visit."

Spike looked to the building she just came out of. He had subconsciously been making a beeline for Octavia's apartment whilst he was worrying!

"Uh, yeah. Just dropping by, since I was free." Spike then suddenly had a spur of the moment idea. "Hey, long as I'm here, why don't we our little recital right now?"

"It would be wise not to put off tomorrow what one can do today," Octavia said, "but I'm afraid I already have my afternoon planned with our designer Rarity. In fact, I'm heading over to her studio right now to discuss my dress."

Spike could only feel the despair welling up in his gut as the name was mentioned. Well, that had been his last chance, guess there was nothing for it but to let it all blow up come tomorrow. "Okay...see you tomorrow...I guess."

As Octavia patted him on the head and nodded goodbye, Spike watched as she crossed the street and...entered the building right in front? He looked to the building his cello goddess just entered, then to the one she just exited. The realization came to him instantly.

They're right next to each other. Rarity and Octavia's buildings are right next to each other's!

That's when another plan started to formulate in his head, one that he was sure couldn't fail to get him out of this mess. A devious grin crept up his face as he rubbed his palms together.

Maybe I can do two dates at once after all!

Author's Note

*Fortunately, the effects wore off after five minutes, so he was actually screaming at thin air for a minute or so before the realization sunk in.