Author's Note
Hopefully you enjoy this one as much as the last, thank you all for the kind comments.
If I Fall
I see you, standing alone beneath the summer moon, The bright rays from it’s surface, reflecting off your dark coloring, the shine in your eyes making me love you all the more. But I stand, I stand alone, ever-watchful, the city of Canterlot beneath my gaze as I grip my halberd, ready to lay down my life for those I am sworn to protect.
Do you ever note, I wonder, the soft gaze of one pegasus among thousands of others. The crispness of a salute among hundreds of others, the slight shifting of body and hooves whenever you pass near. The body language that almost screams, to my mind, my heart is yours, now and forever.
I pace through the quiet days, wandering among the populace, adrift in my own thoughts. My friends, my family see me distracted and think it is naught but a bit of mind fluff, the thoughts of a day, quickly over. To me, it is so much more, the dreams, the longing, that which I keep locked safely in my body and soul, for none to see but myself.
Confided I did once, to a companion, telling him of my thoughts and of the longing in my heart, in return I received derision, a chuckle, a laugh. A spike through my soul that stuck with me for weeks, knowing that what I dreamed of could never be. But truly, are dreams naught but what we long for in real life? The thoughts that trickle through the mind during the day, unnoticed and unwanted, only peeking out when we rest, telling us that this, this is what we truly want?
Beside you in battle I have raged, protecting you as if it were my only reason for living, for being brought into this world, for one purpose.
To give my life for you.
I offer it freely, a gift given with a song on my lips, joy in my heart it is what I am, my being, my reason, my whole world. My strength, my swiftness, the whole of the body electric sings out in jubilance being near you, to give and give, never asking for any return. I stand for you, beside you, in front of you; a rock, the one which the rivers flow around, stalwart and sure I am never bending, never ending in my dedication. The armor I wear protects not just my body, but yours, a wall un-penetrable to all that would seek to wreak havoc upon its ramparts. A bulwark of muscle and bone, my wings lifting me high into the darkened skies, to bring doom upon those who would trespass upon its shining heights.
No honors, no awards could ever take the place of you beside me, in battle, or in love. My heart cries diamond tears as I see you, walking the palace ramparts, alone in the night save for myself and a few others. The raising of the moon, the darkened skies lit up by the majesty and power of one who shines like the stars she brings. Gladness lifts my breast at the evening-tide, seeing the light fade into the triumph of your soft velvet heavens.
Nights when I am not at watch, I fly. I swoop and soar into the dazzling night, spreading my wings to capture the breezes, the winds that lift me higher into the silky darkness that enfolds me in it’s gentle embrace. I lift a hoof, reaching out for the moon, wishing I could hold you as the night holds myself in it’s tender arms. The quiet, the compassionate goodnight to the day, is all I need to make myself ascend above it all, leaving behind the thoughts and worries, holding it tight, never letting it go till I return once more, to the hushed ground.
Even then, closing my eyes, listening to the sounds of the evening, wishing I could share them with you, show what I have seen, and heard. My ears catch the softest whispers of the blackness, as if the night tells me alone, I am loved.
It is all I need, the soft touch of night, the susurration. It feeds and nourishes my soul as a meal satisfies my body. It lifts me up, to join in the eternal dance that lives within all our hearts. For I know it all stems from you, the one who stands in my heart as a permanent fixture. Joy making my mind reel as I topple into the soft grass, looking up..up into that covering blanket of velveteen duskiness. Wishing upon a star that one day, you would walk in my dreams as you do so many others. I would tell to you the world as I see it, show you the love I have for you as no other.
Stars twinkling in the background as I count them, making pictures in them as others do clouds, patterns of mind, body and soul. I am but a mote in heavens eye as I lay on the cool grass, seeing your shimmering moon looking down upon my celebration of you and the night. My body enraptured, my mind snared, my soul taken; it is all yours, these things I do and think, all for you.
Duty calls, thus I vest myself of these dreams for another day, when I am free and alone in my reflections.
I do fight these notions, to keep myself in check, knowing that I am one of thousands, of those who adore you and look to you for guidance and care. I am a figure in armor, standing near when I am needed, one of many I am sure. So I hold my thoughts close, my dreams ever closer, and I stand, as I have always, and will continue to do. I am not lost in these speculations, no, I am a normal pony living a normal life. But I can always wonder can't I?
Again, halberd in hoof, my carriage correct, my head held high, for I am yours. To stand above all others and protect you as best I can. I once again gaze upon your form at the balcony of the castle, looking upwards, not knowing what thoughts cross your mind. Would that I could drop my weapons, doff my armor and kneel at your feet to ask just one simple question that smolders in me, night and day, throughout all I have seen and done. To give it all up for one brief moment, to stand close to you and look into that silvery gaze, knowing at last I could have an answer to what burns so brightly.
Underneath your moon, your skies and stars, the question that leaves me longing each and every minute.
Would you catch me?
If I fall?