Warhammer 40000: Imperial Guardspony

Dear reader, you're about to read my surely mediocre and probably badly-paced and poorly-executed and fluff-defying story about ponies and Warhammer 40000. Warhammer 40000 is owned by Games Workshop, and not me. Obviously. And we all know who My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to. Again, not me.

Prologue

"What of this system?" The Magos said, pointing at the starchart. The tech-priest pushed several buttons on his console. Their last foray into the unexplored portion of the Segmentum Obscurus was successful, and another system to explore was needed. The ship's commander noticed that, fairly close to the Cadia system, there was a single unnamed star.

"Nothing on record, my lord."

"Nothing on record, you say? This close to the Cadian Gate? That is very peculiar. Set a course, at once." He ordered, his synthetic voice echoing through the spacious bridge of the ancient vessel that he commanded.

The Unforgiving Truth was extremely old, by any standard. It had been a medium-sized warship in a forgotten era, and now its obselete armaments served the Adeptus Mechanicus Explorator fleet. It served this purpose well, housing all of the equipment and defensive capabilities they would ever need, and its expertly maintained superstructure was sturdy, even after what could have been over twenty thousand years.

"Course plotted, my lord."

"Engage Gellar field, initiate warp jump."

One week later, Equestria

Princess Celestia's near-defeat at the hooves of Queen Chrysalis had left her weaker than she thought, and more tired than usual, so she had decided to go on a vacation from her duties for a week or two, leaving Luna in charge. She decided it wouldn't hurt to stop blocking out the almost sub-conscious whispers of something called the 'Astronomican', whatever that was, for a while. She had been aware of it for her entire life, and had learned to ignore it long ago, but this period of rest had presented an opportunity to listen to it, learn what it actually was, something she had never been able to determine. She disabled the magical dampening barrier that she had cast to keep it quiet, and listened. It had several voices, each sounding almost angelic, and whispered about currents, rapids, storms... was it some sort of telepathic sailor's instrument? Celestia continued to listen, to observe.

Warp space, Segmentum Obscurus, Unforgiving Truth

"Magos, you may wish to see this." The tech-adept motioned for his captain to come to his console.

"What is it?"

"A report by the Administratum. It mentions the disappearance of any and all vessels of the Explorator fleet that have attempted to gain entry to this system. I advise that we turn back."

"No. We shall not turn back. We will succeed in deciphering the mystery of this system. It could be anything out there, keeping our fellow servants of the Machine God from returning. For the sake of our Quest for Knowledge, we shall forge onward."

"If you believe it is wise, my lord." The tech-adept did not doubt his Magos; there never was one that was unwise. This one could not be the first.

Outer reaches of unknown star system, four days later

"We have arrived at our destination, my lord." The tech-adept had to restrain the excitement in his voice. They had just successfully navigated to a system that had caused the disappearance of over a dozen vessels over the last few thousand years.

"Charge weapons, initiate scanners." The Magos ordered, "We cannot be careful enough. Something has prevented our brothers from returning." The Magos hadn't slept once during the journey, nor did he need to; he had removed such a need from himself long ago. He had spent his time with the astropaths and navigator, trying to find any trace of the missing ships. Nothing had surfaced.

"System has a single planet, my lord, inhabited. Pre-industrial technological level. No ships or spacecraft of any kind detected."

The Magos went to the navigator's station.

"Anything?"

"The Warp is very quiet here, my lord." The psychic mutant replied, "Too quiet. That planet's inhabitants are not emitting any signs of being Warp-sensitive, yet I detect the presence of a great many psykers, however paradoxical it is. Either we are not alone, or there is something wrong with that planet."

"Prepare a lander, take us into orbit."

Canterlot, Equestria.

Luna looked through her telescope once more. Was she seeing what she thought she was seeing? A massive object was high in the night sky. It was very oddly shaped, very much unlike any meteor she had ever seen. She went to alert her sister.

"Sister! Something has appeared in the sky. You must see it."

"Is it a meteor?" Celestia asked.

"No, sister. It is too oddly shaped."

"Then let us investigate."

Celestia tuned out the voices of this 'Astronomican' once more.

Unforgiving Truth, orbit over Equestria

"Auspex scans have determined that the planet's inhabitants are equine in form, and probably non-hostile. I advise caution, however. We have no idea where these psykers are, or in what form they take." The Magos briefed the three tech-priests, an astropath, and two heavily-armed servitors that were to accompany him in the Aquila lander. Once all were inside the craft, it was launched. A landing spot had been chosen directly outside what appeared to be a mountain city, one of the largest on the planet, which was quite scarcely populated compared to most Imperial worlds. The Magos' personal communications system was paged.

"The navigator has lost contact with the Astronomican, my lord." It crackled.

This was most worrying to the Magos. The Astronomican was an artifact of great potency, operable only because of the Emperor's immense power. Only in the far reaches of the galaxy were the whispers of the Astronomican weak, and they weren't even that far away from Terra. Something had to be blocking it. If this was a regional phenomenon, then it's very isolated, as neighboring systems mere lightyears away had no such issues. Something wrong with this planet, indeed, he thought. The lander swooped down, and the Magos had a good look at the city they were landing beside before doing so. It was fairly ornate, but not excessively so, and had an abundance of the color white in its architecture, which was strangely human-like. These xenos were not stupid, there was little doubt in that notion. The astropath was obviously experiencing discomfort.

"What is the matter, astropath?" He asked the eyeless, hooded man.

"These xenos must have some form of Warp immunity. It is not easy to focus here, and I am... experiencing discomfort." He replied. The Magos knew of only a few things that could cause a psyker issues just by being in close proximity to it; omega-level or lower Assignment Index individuals, or 'pariahs', and some forces of the Warp. It had to be the former, as the navigator had said, the Warp was quiet here.

"Pariahs. All of these xenos are pariahs."

"Pariahs, my lord? Are you certain?" The astropath was surprised at the suggestion. After all, pariahs were extremely rare among humans. These xenos were not humans, though. The Magos was reminded of the Tau race and their upstart empire, of which none were warp-sensitive, but none of them were pariahs to his knowledge. This did not, however, provide any explanation of the psyker presence here. The ramp of the lander opened, and its passengers disembarked.

Canterlot Castle

"Your Highnesses, some sort of metal bird has landed outside of the city, and some odd-looking creatures came out of it, also metal." A guard explained.

Odd-looking meteors and alien beings? This had been a peculiar day indeed. Celestia and Luna both flew into the night sky over Canterlot and toward this mysterious metal bird that sat outside the city. Two pegasus guards accompanied them, and they landed in front of the group of strange beings. Two of the beings looked like grotesque fusions of machine and creature, one had no eyes and a green robe that looked uncomfortable, and the others wore red robes and were heavily adorned with metallic constructs of some sort. All of the creatures stood on two legs. Celestia spoke first.

"Greetings. My name is Princess Celestia, this is my sister Luna. What brings you... space-people here?"

The red-robed mechanical creatures looked at each other for a few moments, and an eerie, not-quite-normal voice came from the one that was most noticeable, its robe was gilded with gold, and it was at the front of the group.

"You speak gothic, xeno?" The voice sounded as surprised as it did unnatural.

"I suppose I do. This simplifies things, doesn't it?" Celestia chuckled at the creature's surprise.

"It does, xeno. We are representatives of the Imperium of Man, and the Adeptus Mechanicus. What do you represent?"

"Well, I am the ruler of this land, the peaceful nation of Equestria. What is this 'Imperium of Man'? Do tell." Celestia replied.

"The Imperium of Man is a vast interstellar galactic empire, and the Adeptus Mechanicus are a group that serves its technological and information needs." He said this with a sort of tone that indicated that he was not happy- but not angry or surprised- that she had never heard of such an Imperium. He continued. "What do you know of the Warp? Of the Immaterium? Of psykers?"

"Psykers? You mean magic? Our people are capable of magic in many forms."

"How many among you can perform this 'magic'?" He interrogated.

"Around a third of us, the unicorns, the ones with horns and not wings." Celestia explained.

"But you and your sister, xeno, have both wings and a horn."

"I do, and I can perform magic, but that does not matter. What brings you here?"

"It matters, xeno." The creature said, threateningly, "Why is it that we can detect nothing of the Warp here, but an abundance of psykers? What have you witches done to our ships?"

"Your ships? I've done nothing to your ships, I'd never try to hurt your people."

"Then explain why our ships have disappeared on their way here!" He demanded.

Celestia recalled the whispering device that she had taken to be some sort of telepathic sailor's guide, the 'Astronomican'.

"Might it be related to some object, an 'Astronomican'?" Celestia asked.

"The Astronomican is what guides the Imperium's ships through the Warp! What have you done to it!?" The creature pulled something from near its waist, and pointed it at her menacingly.

"I've just tried to ignore it, by casting magic to block it from my mind." She explained calmly, "If I knew that I was hurting anyone, I'd have stopped."

"You are a navigator, xeno?" Again the creature's voice showed surprise. It lowered the weapon.

"I am aware of some of the nuances of navigation, but why does that matter?"

"Not a naval navigator, a Warp navigator! A psyker that can percieve the Astronomican!"

"I've never heard of this 'Warp'. Can you explain it?"

"The Immaterium, or Warp, is where Chaos breeds. We use it for travel, and even then it is extremely dangerous, and Chaotic beings, demons, and traitor Astartes besiege us constantly. Surely, as a psyker race, you know of it. Perhaps you have a different name for it."

"We have no knowledge of such a place. Chaos was banished from this land some time ago. Could we offer any assistance against this 'Chaos' that you speak of?" Celestia was vying for a diplomatic position that was in her favor, not this alien's. After all, this alien had a massive interstellar empire at his back. Offering help may be the only way to avoid being completely destroyed in some way or another.

"Assist us? Unlikely, xeno. Your citizens do not look like they're suited for combat of any kind."

"I would assume by your distaste of this 'Chaos' that you have nothing that can fight it directly. We have in the past, perhaps we can help."

"I suppose you are correct. Your people have both psyker ability and Warp immunity. We may be able to make use of your psykers in our fight against the evil that is Chaos."

"I am sure most unicorns would be honored to fight these demons with you."

"I must confer with beings higher than myself, and must depart. I have no guarantees about this. I must warn you, xeno: do not block our Astronomican again."

The creatures stepped back into their craft, and it lifted off again, bound for their ship. Celestia wondered what he had meant by there being no guarantees, and why he kept refering to them as 'xenos', as the ship soared ever higher into the night sky. She listened to the whispers of the Astronomican. Somehow, they made more sense to her now.

Aquila lander craft, low orbit

The Magos was surprised that these 'ponies'- approximately a third of which had natural psychic ability- had banished Chaos from their world. They had to be quite powerful to do that. Dangerous, too. This 'Princess Celestia' did not seem like an enemy, but a potential ally, something the Imperium had in short supply. Everything else in the galaxy wanted them dead, but these ponies, this powerful psyker race of ponies, didn't. They wanted to help them. This had to be thought about and discussed with the Administratum. As much as they were potential friends, they were potential enemies.