Equestria in Human

by Hyouka

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other
Length: 1792

The story of a teenager with ponies on the brain.

Jadon was a nineteen year old boy. He has ponies on the brain. A lot of ponies. This is his story.

Just for fun, not much effort in it. A one shot.

Published 2012-04-27 07:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-27 07:34:01 UTC

Equestria in Human

“Hello, Dr. Swartz. I’m Jared, and I’m seventeen years old. I like basketball, Beyblades, and ponies. ... Hold on a minute... Yes, especially you, Pinkie. ... No, Twi, I don’t want to study the psychological implications of having favorites. ... No. ... No. ... I said No, Twilight! ... Well, I’m sorry, Celestia, for offending your prize student, but she can get pretty annoying. ... No, Applejack, that was sarcasm. Geez. ... See, Twilight, Fluttershy understands. ... Rarity, I’m sure your dress is beautiful, but you know I can only see you guys when I’m not in public. ... Because I have to roll my eyes into my head, that’s why! People will think I’m possessed, talking to you guys. So kindly shut up! ...! Now, don’t cry, Fluttershy. Don’t you cry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just please don’t cry anymore. ... Yes Dash, I’ll watch your new trick when we're alone, okay? ALONE. Please, there’s a guest, and she’s staring! Gah, sorry, Dr. Swartz, the ponies in my brain can really tick me off.”

   Equestria In Human: A One-Shot

“Like I said, I’m Jared, and I like ponies. I’m currently in an insane asylum, but they like to call it a “center for the psychologically unsound”. Gah. My parents put me here like two months ago, and I’ve been drugged, interviewed, and have been shown so many inkblots, they started to repeat themselves. I’m perfectly sane, thank you very much. I do not have or ever will obtain “multiple personalities”, I’m simply talking to my friends. For you see, my brain is filled with the entire world if Equestria.

“It was an accident, really. I’ll just repeat what Twilight tells me. Okay. ... Twilight was attempting a transport spell, one that would take her all the way to Canterlot. It was a complicated spell, involving liquid nitrogen, a gyroscope, and a phoenix feather. Phoenix feathers are deeply imbedded with fire magic, and are used in some homes as light sources and fireplaces. When dipped in liquid nitrogen, the fire magic is placed in suspended animation, and crumbles into a powder. This powder needs to be quickly placed into a steel dome, spinning rapidly mounted on a gyroscope. The inside of the dome is heated with magic, and when channeled correctly, sends the energy into vibrating particles until it bends space-time, and transports the nearest object to a chosen destination. However, Twilight added way too much phoenix feather powder, and the whole of Equestria was teleported directly into my hippocampus, where they have been living for the last three months. I was only entered into this facility here because my parents eavesdropped on my debate with Twilight on the ethics of eating meat, and assumed I was talking to someone. According to Twilight, she possessed my optic nerve via a first-order sensory nucleus, and saw my parents staring at me as I ranted to her how all animals eat meat. ... But it’s true, Twilight, many animals DO eat meat. ... I’m an omnivore. It’s justifiable.”

Dr. Swartz looked worried. “So, these ponies have names?”

“Well, yes. There’s Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Bell, Big Mac, Braeburn, Caramel, Cherrilee, Granny Smith, Derpy, Soarin’, Spitfire, Mayor, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Blueblood, just to name a few off the top of my head. But the population of Equestria is about” he closed his eyes. “ One million, four hundred and thirty five thousand, seven hundred and twenty-two.”

“You make it sound like a country.”

“It is a country. It is run by a diarchy of the two alicorn princesses, and the Royal Court of Affairs.”

Dr. Swartz scribbled in her notepad. “I see. So these ponies, they talk to you?”

“... Yes, wait, Pinkie, don’t do the” His irises glazed over a light magenta color. His hair puffed up into a bounty of curls, and he gave off a general aura of I AM PINK. “Hello!” he said, in a feminine voice not his own. “You look kinda funny. Why is there a mole on your neck? ... No, Jadon, I wanna talk some more! It’s fun!” He then stiffened in his chair, his eyes went back to normal, and his hair flattened. “Pinkie, you know I hate it when somepony does that. It feels really weird.”

“W-wait. How do you know there’s a mole on my neck?”

“I don’t. But Pinkie apparently does. Pinkie, it’s not nice to say things like that. People can be self-conscious.” His irises glazed pink again, and his curly black hair somehow turned a dull pink shade and straightened itself. “Sorry,” He went back to normal, and sighed, rubbing his temples with his hands.

Dr. Swartz rapidly and furiously began taking notes and checking boxes on the notepad she was holding, and thoughts went screaming through her head.

‘How in the world can a single psyche contain over one million alter egos? It’s impossible. And these supposed alternate personalities apparently can take over at any time, and communicate in his brain? They even set up a government! Everything he’s told me is impossible. I would classify him as a pathological liar, but for the hair and the eye thing. And he’s never seen the mole on my neck before. How is he doing this? A trick? I need more information.

“Thank you, Jadon. I think I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She turned to the phone.

“Dr. Sidiki, get ready two vials of sedative for tomorrow. I want to see just what happens in that brain of his."

Jadon woke up in his cot the next day. His pony friends upstairs were still asleep, but he had to get ready for the next interview with Dr. Swartz. He started thinking to himself.

‘I need to get out of here. I’m not crazy. There are actually ponies living in my brain. I can’t be crazy, can I? I mean, Pinkie managed to take control for like three days! I can’t be crazy. Right? I wish I could know. But all this therapy isn’t helping. I just wish I could leave.’

Twilight just woke up, and she was studying his brain once again.

“Gah, Twi, can you stop doing that? ...Well, no. ... Please. You already did that. ...Oh, don’t ‘in the name of science’ me, that doesn’t work anymore. Besides, you can only achieve partial takeover, and only when I allow it. Only Pinkie ever managed a full takeover. ... No, it’s unethical. ... I’m not getting in the whole carnivore debate thing again. ... Whatever. I’m going to the interview.” Then an idea sparked in his head. Full takeover. He had heard he was to be sedated the next day for a full brain scan. But when that happened... he could walk out of there. Well, Jadon wouldn’t leave, Twilight would. “Hey, Twilight. Do you think that a full takeover would be possible? You’ll be a human, and I need to tell you how to act like one. So, here’s what we do...”

All this was recorded and watched by Dr. Sidiki, who wrote TWI in her notepad. This was getting interesting.

“Hello, Dr. Swartz,” was all Jadon managed before getting a hypodermic needle stuck in his arm. Before he fainted, he did something peculiar. He rolled his eyes to the back of his head, and nodded. He then proceeded to crumple to the floor.

Dr. Swartz and Dr. Sidiki watched in amazement as Jadon slowly got up. His hair grew straight and long, and his irises turned a dark shade of lavender. He was no longer a he, as the new protrusions on his chest proved. Her hair grew a long violet streak, and she rose to a full stance. She stared at herself in amazement, and uttered two words. “Complete control.” She looked up at the two doctors, and smiled.

“Hello, my name is Twilight, and I am a unicorn. I live in Jadon’s brain.”

“First question. How are you a girl?” Dr. Swartz was shaken.

“Well, I was a female in Jadon’s brain, so I’m a girl now.”

“What is your full name?”

“Like I said earlier, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

Dr. Swartz looked down at her notes. Twilight Sparkle was listed as one of Jadon’s major alter egos. The two doctors began furiously arguing with each other. Finally, Dr. Sidiki turned to Twilight.

“We believe that you are one of Jadon’s bipolar alter egos, but not even that can change the fact that Jadon is a boy, and you are clearly a girl. So, according to the law, you are a different person, and we are forced to release you. But there are so many scientific impossibilities here! I saw Jadon transform with my own eyes!”

Twilight closed her eyes. “Hey, Jadon. Can I show them?” She looked back at the pen laying on the table. Her right hand glowed, and the pen rose from the table. Dr. Swartz fainted, and with a smile, Twilight teleported away.

After Twilight go a good two to four miles away from the Institute, she was ready to give control back to Jadon. She focused, and let her awareness slip away from her. She fainted in the middle of the countryside.

Jadon woke up, glad to be back in his own body... but it was not his body. He looked down only to find he was not a he, hut a she. She sat down on the ground, and rolled her eyes in the back of her head. “Hey, Twi. Something went wrong. I’m still a girl! ... No, I don’t want to be called Jade, but I might have to. I still even have that purple highlight in my hair! I look like you! How in the world am I supposed to explain this to my parents? ... Fine, I’ll go back.”

“Hello, Mr. Andres, I’m Jade, and I used to be your son. I was released from the Institute this morning, under the name Twilight, because well, Twilight took control of my body. When that happened, I turned into a girl, and when I got control back, I stayed like this.”

Jadon’s father loved his son, but this was too much.

SLAM.

As Jade walked away from the life she once had, she realized something. She was not alone. She could live a full life still. She would never be alone. After all, in this human, there was Equestria.

A/N: Just something I had going around. Not really a serious fic. I typed this up in two hours, and had a fun time doing it. Enjoy, and tell me if you want a sequel/prequel/alternate ending.