H Ȫ M E T Ȫ W N H E R Ȫ I N E 9999★★

Rainbow Dash wasn't the best chinese checkers player in Equestria, far from it, she instead avoided playing complex oriental board games and instead focused on sports and the weather. Sure, she was shit at jumping that red stone over the yellow stone but if you needed to know the difference between a cumulus and a nimbus cloud she was your mare.

Rainbow Dash was as fast as most cars and twice as sexy. She had the body of one of those horses you see in the magazines and makes this author sweat and fantisize all too often.

Rainbow Dash was a hometown hero, like the gay guy in Friday Night Lights but a horse that could fly. It was all hoof bumps and cheers when Rainbow Dash touched down on Clop Ave. during rush hour. Rainbow Dash wasn't the best cartoonist you had ever met, she was pretty shit at inbetweens because she had no fingers.

But she was great at other things, she was above average when it came to things like hopscotch and fighting the Spanish infantry. She was a voracious reader of young adult adventure paperbacks and was held back in high school.

'They called her Something About Mare-y because she always had some hot stuff in that mane of hers'

Rainbow Dash was bullied as a child and covered that up with Mare's Volleyball and promiscuity during those formative years we call adolescence. She thought about getting a tongue piercing, listened to the Misfits because one colt she was into like them and shit and would practice kissing on Fluttershy.

She would practice tongue kisses and touching on Fluttershy.

Airhorn.
Airhorn.
Airhorn.

Pretty hip hop shit huh? Ok so yeah, like fast forward to young adulthood. Decorated with numerous medals, her goal was 10 so she kept entering races and battle rap competitions. She had successfully performed the Sonic Rainboom twice and after awhile did it so many times that no one even cared.

Rainbow Dash wasn't the best newspaper editor, far from it. She couldn't tie shoes nor could she get the good ending in that one visual novel. But she was chock full of loyalty and did practice kissing and touching on Fluttershy.

Airhorn~