Death Rides A Pony

by Yung Horse

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Discord, Sex, Main 6, Lyra, Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 2884

A Collection of Horse Related Fiction and Cautionary Tales

Gravity's Rainbow is a 1973 novel by American writer Thomas Pynchon.

A lengthy, complex novel featuring a large cast of characters, its narrative is set primarily in Europe at the end of World War II and centers on the design, production and dispatch of V-2 rockets by the German military, and, in particular, the quest undertaken by several characters to uncover the secret of a mysterious device named the "Schwarzgerät" ("black device") that is to be installed in a rocket with the serial number "00000".

Traversing an immense range of knowledge, the novel transgresses boundaries between high and low culture, between literary propriety and profanity, and between science and speculative metaphysics.

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is a children's animated television series produced by Hasbro Studios in the United States (for scripts) and at DHX Media's studio located in Vancouver (for animation; formerly known as Studio B Productions). The series, based on Hasbro's My Little Pony line of toys and animated works, is intended for girls age two through 11 and considered to be the fourth generation (G4) of the My Little Pony franchise.

But you already knew that.

Death Rides A Pony

Published 2014-11-17 20:00:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-17 20:00:11 UTC

1:空間 199Ø (VERY ... TWILIGHT PRE-SPIKE

Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle.

She woke up the way she tended to wake up these days, her mane squished to one side, her horn poking against the left hand wall in her bedroom, the place smelled of paperbacks and sap and that's how she liked it.

Twilight Sparkle hadn't woken up the way she would like to. A colt beside her lovingly stroking her mane whispering words from Tolstoy in her ears and talking of her dear Princess Celestia.

Spike however woke up a different way. He was being torn limb from limb by interdimensional monsters, his screams couldn't be heard from the room over because his screams were localized a dimension away, not a distance but a concept.

His wails were echoing in the chamber of the mind but couldn't pierce the drywall. Spike had dabbled with the forces of the occult before but not like this, this was different. Spike, much like Tom Hanks in the film Big, yearned to be larger. He thought he could woo Rarity and numerous other pretty little horses by breaking the maligned 5 foot 11 inches mark. In attempting a beginner level incantation, he accidentally found himself in the plot of the popular computer game Doom.

His cry for help became a cry of agony. Claws and tendrils pierced his scaly exterior and burrowed through his organs, laughter rang from all sides. The creatures, horrific and grotesque hoped to sap his essence, maybe they could cross the dimensional threshold and partake in horse misadventures, maybe they could trot that plot that Spike hoped to for years and years.

Spike, in his last moments thought of Rarity. He remembered her long hind legs, her defined plot, the thickness of her flank and her immaculate hide. This hard on, throbbing and misshapen would be Spike's last.

'This dragon's getting a woody from the shit' one of the monsters proclaimed, pointing to the dragon's member. 'Ey, you getting' off on this?'

'Why are you dimensional superbeings doing this? Why me? I'm just a baby dragon man, I'm not hurting anyone – I just wanted to grow, I'm tired of being a friend zoned manlet, a fucking cuck. You must be able to relate...'

The words, panicked and desperate found their way through gasps and coughs, Spike was in shock. Blood and bile foamed over his bottom jaw.
'I can't' the monster whispered in his ear 'I'm 6'1 nigga.'

And everything went black.

Thomas Ruggles Pynchon Jr, is an American novelist. Studying at MacArthur, Pynchon is best known for his dense works of fiction that walk the line of being esoteric and being poignant pictures of a then new and troubled America.

Twilight Sparkle rolled out of her inflatable bed and yawned a final yawn. She was ready to tackle the day and do some good research, that which would benefit pony and critter alike.

'Spike! Get up sleepyscales. I need my number one assistant up and ready to work' Twilight had manipulated the child for years now, having him do manual labour she could accomplish effortlessly with her powers. She liked the idea of Spike, assistant, acting footstool getting her things and liking every minute of it.

She hid her subjugation of Spike behind the guise of friendship when in fact she was a cold domineering horse beast. Her ascent to regality only furthered her iron hoofed ambition. Her piqued inflection, her wide eyes, these were textbook traits of a horsiopath.

A knock. Another. She found herself growing aggravated with the baby dragon's sloth. This was her time he was misusing. 'Come on Spike. Baby dragons only really need 6 hours of sleep. Get up.' Her tone shifted from motherly to commanding, cold and harsh.

'Listen—' Twilight teleported into the room ready to berate Spike, possibly eliminating meals for the day, she found a heap of flesh, pounded sinew and tissue where the dragon once lay. 'Dear sweet Celestia...'

'I have to buy a new dragon.'

★★ F A R O U C H E ★★ 6v

'Um I don't know about this'

Fluttershy was new to the drug scene and only kind of liked XXYYXX but her good friend Discord told her that it was straight ill to do drugs and handed her the tabs. To her they looked like candy, to the rest of us they were the gateway to the Gaspar Noe 2011 mind-trip first person perspective thriller 'Enter the Void'.

Fluttershy wasn't very cool in school. She was voted 'most gay' and 'stupidest horse'. She swallowed the tablets, washing them down with a Rasberry Vodka.

She still wasn't cool. She was just on a lot of drugs.

'I'm a fucking horse!' she had wrestled the mic from DJ EZZT on the stage and was screaming things like 'who likes Soft Gang? Who likes Soundcloud?' and 'can you believe that I'm a horse? Who's a horse in this shit?' Before her speech slurred and after expirmenting with kissing two horses at once, Fluttershy told Discord that she was very lonely and may be the loneliest horse ever.

'Yeah, good party huh?' Discord replied, going over to make some major moves on Screwball and [REDACTED] Hooves. The sinking feeling was insurmountable, she could feel it in the pit of her stomach. She had drunk dialed Angel Bunny a few times, he didn't respond.

'What if we're all dead? What if we're all dead!?' she kept yelling, cradled on the bathroom linolium, the stall was caked with sharpie graffitotags. Swastikas and pictures of characters from Littlest Pet House as far as the eye could see.

She found something neat, real neat. It was a number for a good time.
Fluttershy was always one for good times, she liked spending good times with her friends under the influence or otherwise.

Three fives and other numbers, she dialed furiously, too furiously, she had to correct her dials a couple times. She was experiencing what Pharrell Williams and Spider-Man deal with on a day to day basis: the human plague that is synethesia. She saw the booming dance track as a collection of colors and the Playstation 2 rail shooter Rez.

It was horrible. She just wanted to be in the forest, she wanted to go home and make a salad for Angel Bunny. She wasn't feeling cool, she was just sweaty and she had kissed some ponies she didn't know well.

Ring. Ring.

The call was going through, maybe Fluttershy could get help on the other line. The floor was growing warmer, she was growing acclimated to the linolium, it was becoming a bed to her.

Ring. Ring.

What if somepony strange was on the other end? What if it was somepony she didn't know, some pony she was disturbing at the late phase of the moon? She couldn't focus on much, she was too busy flying through the color blue. And then she began to retch. Blood and saliva, foods she had forgotten poured from her mouth. Her eyes began to water, creamy whites and blue irises fast became puffy and red.

“Oh Celestia. Oh I'm sick...”

Her sinuses were blocked, it felt as if parasprites flooded her nasal cavities, they were eating and eating well. She could hear the ringing and she was tripping fucking hard. Her teeth chattered, it was like hooves at the Annual Apple Family Get Together barn dance. Up and down, syncopated.

“Um. Hello...”

“Who may this be speaking to me?” It was Zecora, puzzled and dropping some hot bars. Real rap nigga, ATL nigga.

“Oh – oh shit, oh Celestia, please help me” the words gushed from Fluttershy dripping maw like water from a frothing hose.

“Who the fuck is this? What the fuck's this shit?”

“that's a forced rhyme!” Fluttershy was flustered-shy and hung up quickly to save herself from the embarassment of calling Zecora out on her fucking shit.

The gargling grew to an uncomfortable volume, ponies in parallel stalls were hollaring at Fluttershy to keep it down. In her present state she could hardly process the color of her mane let alone the voices of others. She was shivering and sweating at the same time. Drops on her nose.

'Snow?' Fluttershy was puzzled among other things, the words popped through the saliva bubbles. She couldn't fight off the fact that she really wanted to listen to some J Dilla and watch Bad Boys, DMT is a hell of a drug.

'Am I invincible? Am I a super hero from the future?'

A chortle rang through the base of her spine 'Far from it little pony...'

A long and mighty hoof pounded the hard ivory tiles, once and again. It was arched, delicate but there was something sinister about it. Fluttershy summoned what strength she had and craned her neck up 'Pfft...pfffshhhhttt' It hurt to move, it hurt to think, she should just sleep.
'So far away from your friends, aren't you?'

'I just want to go home...'

Heat eminated from the sculpted hoof, it ran across Fluttershy matted mane like a mare lulling her filly to sleep.

'We stopped you... you're Queen C--'

'It's hard to speak for you, I understand, just listen – Royalty rarely sets foot in these dens of depraivaty but we're all a little depraived aren't we little pony?'

Statuesque and long in fang, Crysalis, Queen of the changlings brought her neck down and nuzzled the tripped Pegasus.

'So weary and wings beaten, you want to fly but you can barely walk...'

'Discor—'

'At home, awake, upside-down and playing some practical joke on himself we can assume. Those pills came from one of my agents assuming his form.'

'Wh-' her eyes were beginning to close on their own, Chrysalis pinned her down, panting long and heavy.

'Because we wanted to little one. We saw you among Celestia's champions and we wanted to taste you.'

Her long forked tongue, punched through and sopping wet ran along Fluttershy's nape. Licks became kisses, Fluttershy couldn't fight it.

'You wanted to --' she forced her long tongue down Fluttershy's throat 'To fit in, to belong, you're belonging. You belong to me.'

Fluttershy was gagging on her deep kisses, she struggled to cough up, her eyes welled. She was too shy to say anything.

'Lick my holes...'

Fluttershy tried to shake her head limply. 'Lick them you fucking nonce! I'll kill you, I've killed before. Eat my holes like they're deer pussy you fucking tree hugger.' She snarled, smelling of rotting earth and dripping tar, her lips curled into a haughty pucker. She smacked her lips, her long fangs still peaking past. Her long front limbs curled around Fluttershy's resting body.

Chrysalis forced Fluttershy's neck up and Fluttershy licked sloppily around the hole on Chrysalis' hind left. 'Yeah, yeah that's it. The night's cold and the road's long, this is where you belong...'
Fluttershy licked vigorously, Chrysalis' face twisted into a fearsome grin 'Fucking eat my hole you slut'. Before low eyes Chrysalis transformed into form after form, dear friends of Flutteshy and mere acquaintances alike running hooves and muzzle across the drugged pony's body.

'Stop this' she squeaked out the words.

'Just say fuck me.'

'Nnn—' Chrysalis' long black waist had turned into the defined features of Rainbow Dash, her midsection toned and dripping in sweat. It took all of Fluttershy's force of will not ride that plizzzot like it a Harley and she Kim K.

'Say it...'

'Mmmm' With vigor Chrysalis' tongue swirled round and round Fluttershy's asshole, skipping the plot and jumping to the synopsis. Fluttershy was mad into butt stuff, check her Tinder page, her back legs struggled to slip and slide.

'Fuck meee...' She felt dirty, she felt like a 32 year old man who collects toys marketed to 3+ year old girls because of his prediliction for harem style japanimation, justifying it behind the guise of sophistication and clever writing, citing strong thematic reasons, moral storytelling and a dedicated animation team for his being a part of the fandom.

'The lord is more merciful than you think young one.' She pulled her hooves from the pony's chest and assumed a different form, one of a pony who is faster than Sonic and stronger than Knuckles.

'You're trembling...like fire flickers.' she gnashed her terrible teeth and licked her terrible lips. 'In facing me you walked a narrow plank, dear girl, you crossed a terrible bridge.'

She wanted to cry, she wanted to curl up and die right there.

'My Changlings are creatures of hunger, they change the world by engulfing it, hooves will beat rended ground and wings will be clipped by long fangs. You thought I would leave. I was always here. I was your Mayor, I was Snips, I was him and her, this and that. You'll never escape – you and your friends find yourselves living among growling beasts.'

She turned away from her, made her way out. 'Shear your sheep. Wolves walk among you sweet little ponies.'

S o yo u wa n n a p lay w I t h … m agic
Boy, y ou – s ho u ld kn ow what y ou're falling for
Baby do y o u d a r e to do this?
Cause I’m co m I n g at you like a dark horse

“Hey Kids, it's me, popular character Lyra Wingdings from the Pony Program Horse, Of Course.”

“And your old pal Bon-Bon Iver! Winner of three daytime Emmy's for my performances in 'The Suitcase', 'To The Lost' and my writing for the third season of Horseland.”

“We're here to talk about rape culture. Everyone knows that Chrysalis the Queen of Steam is a bad bitch and kills niggas on the 24.”

“That's right Lyra, she's a tough customer and it took everything out of the Pony Squad to take her down.”

“But what you might not know is that Chrysalis is a paid actress, like myself, Bon Bon and actor-singer-songwriter Diane Pie. We here at Horse House put our all in our performances but few more than Chrystine Cline, a Shakespearian actor through and through, conquering the challenge of being a horrifying shapeshifting monster.”

“And although Chrysalis' is a popular character, rape is never a popular character. In this episode of Horse and Home, she did the worst thing a horse can do...play videogames.”

“That's right Bon Bon, when she Medal of Honored all over Fluttershy, I was blushing to say the least and point my frustrations squarely at an ever present and ever failing patriarchy.Video Games are an epidemic, one that hopes to take hold of all of us MaYres by our chinny chinny chins and our plump plots”

“I'm saving my plot for marriage.”

“Thank you for reading this cautionary tale about how video games can bring about the undoing of a horse analog for a societal microcosm. Fear is our greatest weapon. Continue to fear men and changlings.”

BUY THE TOYZZZZZZ

H Ȫ M E T Ȫ W N H E R Ȫ I N E 9999★★

H Ȫ M E T Ȫ W N H E R Ȫ I N E 9999★★

Rainbow Dash wasn't the best chinese checkers player in Equestria, far from it, she instead avoided playing complex oriental board games and instead focused on sports and the weather. Sure, she was shit at jumping that red stone over the yellow stone but if you needed to know the difference between a cumulus and a nimbus cloud she was your mare.

Rainbow Dash was as fast as most cars and twice as sexy. She had the body of one of those horses you see in the magazines and makes this author sweat and fantisize all too often.

Rainbow Dash was a hometown hero, like the gay guy in Friday Night Lights but a horse that could fly. It was all hoof bumps and cheers when Rainbow Dash touched down on Clop Ave. during rush hour. Rainbow Dash wasn't the best cartoonist you had ever met, she was pretty shit at inbetweens because she had no fingers.

But she was great at other things, she was above average when it came to things like hopscotch and fighting the Spanish infantry. She was a voracious reader of young adult adventure paperbacks and was held back in high school.

'They called her Something About Mare-y because she always had some hot stuff in that mane of hers'

Rainbow Dash was bullied as a child and covered that up with Mare's Volleyball and promiscuity during those formative years we call adolescence. She thought about getting a tongue piercing, listened to the Misfits because one colt she was into like them and shit and would practice kissing on Fluttershy.

She would practice tongue kisses and touching on Fluttershy.

Airhorn.
Airhorn.
Airhorn.

Pretty hip hop shit huh? Ok so yeah, like fast forward to young adulthood. Decorated with numerous medals, her goal was 10 so she kept entering races and battle rap competitions. She had successfully performed the Sonic Rainboom twice and after awhile did it so many times that no one even cared.

Rainbow Dash wasn't the best newspaper editor, far from it. She couldn't tie shoes nor could she get the good ending in that one visual novel. But she was chock full of loyalty and did practice kissing and touching on Fluttershy.

Airhorn~