Paranoia

I sat in my rec room, a thick fuzzy blanket around me. "Here, drink." Octavia held a cup of steaming liquid on her flank, a tea cozy under it. "...Well?"

I just sat there, barely able to move and completely unable to speak. I was still curled up, knees against my chest. I took the cup, holding it near my heart as Octavia wandered around. I didn't know what to do. All my planning, all my precautions, ruined by one impulsive run into a tear gased room. The griffon was still waiting, stuck between the exit and entrance. I'd called the guard, and soon enough he'd be hauled out for trespassing and ownership of an illegal firearm, which I'd thrown back in with him, empty and without the firing pin.

But I couldn't move anymore. There was not only another living thing in my home, but a pony, a sick, disturbing pony creature lugging itself around my bunker. "So, was that your dildo in there?" Octavia asked, peeking into the hall. "I think I've seen that exact one--"

"The Sunshine by Bad Dragon...." I murmured, pulling my toes under the blanket. "It's not much...."

Octavia looked back towards me. "It's used, isn't it?"

I just stared down into the cup. Shame zipped my mouth shut. I put the cup on my head, letting it burn me. "Idon'twanttotalkaboutit."

Octavia walked around my couch, hopping up onto the seat across from me. "Is that why you didn't have pants on?"

"Ireallydon'twanttotalkaboutit." I tightened up my human ball. "You'restillhereandit'smakingmesad."

Octavia cocked her head. "I'm making you sad?"

"Yes."

Octavia pulled her head back. "Well getting held at gun point makes me a little sad."

I pulled my legs closer to my chest. "I'mreallyreallysorry."

"Can you stop talking like that?" She asked as calm as could be. "It's just a little hard to understand you."

I took a deep breath and set the cup down on my coffee table. "That's...the...idea." I tried to breath, my voice quavered and shook as I tried to calm down. "People try to steal my shipments some times. You can usually tell when there's going to be issues. Drugs, chemicals, stuff like that usually ends up getting hijacked."

Octavia leaned back. "Drugs?"

"Cocaine, crack, meth, heroin, that ground up blue flower, really fucks people up when they inhale it." I snuggled deep into my blanket. "I coordinate all that stuff. Like I said, money isn't an issue...."

Octavia stared at me. "Well...I shouldn't really take up ads I find on my gun trips, should I?"

"Probably not." I pulled my blanket tight as I could. "I have cameras all around that hotel. The place is so terrible."

Octavia stared at me. "Cameras?"

I covered my face with the blanket. "I traffic information to the guard and criminals. I had my contacts bug buildings from here to the Crystal kingdom." I covered my mouth with my hands. "Ever room in that hotel is bugged. And you wouldn't believe the shit I've seen. But there's always this closet couple of stallions that keep rocking each other pretty hardcore."

Octavia scooched her chair toward me. "You watch two homosexual ponies have sex?"

"Every Tuesday, yeah. Other than that it's usually straight pairs looking for a quick room." I pulled the blanket over my head, wearing it like a hood and exposing my toes. "If you want to leave and never come back, I don't blame you."

Octavia laughed softly. "Well, I can see why you'd expect that. But honestly this is all rather fascinating."

I shrunk back down into my couch. "Of course...because you leaving would be easy."

"Oh quiet you." She reached out and put a hoof on my toes, causing my heart to nearly explode. "You ran full pelt, nude, into that room to pull me out. There's something worth looking into at least."

I tried to cover my toes, my hood falling down as I did. I yanked my hood back up, exposing my toes. "Oh fucking Jesus I'm gonna die." I whimpered, my eyes watering as I started to panic. "No no no--"

Octavia hopped down. "Are you alright?" she walked over, standing before me. "You seem nervous." She stepped her front half onto the couch, my eyes burning and blurring as she looked at me. "Why exactly are you crying?"

I tired to catch my breath, my voice shattering and devolving into a bunch of whimpers and cries. "Idon'tknow! I don't know! Know not, no, don't know!" I shouted, pulling the blanket off completely and shoving it against my face. "I don't know!"

I felt something pull against me, a pair of large hooves digging into my back. "Breathe--"

"Nonononono!" I shouted, trying to melt into the couch. "Let go let go let go please let go!"

"Breathe." Octavia cooed, her hooves cold against my bare back. "Breathe deep."

"I fucking cant with you holding me!" I screamed, unable to physically protest. "I'm freaking the fuck out!"

Octavia continued to hug me, my face buried into the blanket she'd given me. She rocked slowly left and right, stealing my ability to scream and leaving me swaddled. "Hmm," she cooed, rubbing my back with her hooves. "It's okay...it's okay."

I couldn't cry, I could only whimper softly and drop the blanket to my lap. The large pony was wrapped around me, clutching my head against her neck. I leaned forward, burying myself against her coat as I broke down. "You alright?" She asked, leaning back slightly. "Harkon?"

"Maine. Name, Maine." I mumbled, putting my hands on her chest and sliding them around her back. "Sad...." I pulled her against me, forgetting she was a pony for a time and treating her like a giant stuffed animal.

Octavia pushed back, stepping back onto the floor. "...You're thin, why did I think you'd be fat."

I fell onto my side, laying along the couch. "I don't know."

Octavia looked me up and down. "Do you want me to find you some pants?"

I nodded heavily.

"Shirt too?"

I nodded again.

Octavia looked around the room. "Something to eat?"

I took a shaky breath. "I have some microwave meals in the freezer--"

"I'll find something." Octavia reached behind my legs, pulling the blanket out and draping it across me. She tucked it behind me and under my arm. "You wait here." She patted me with her tail. "Do you mind if I look around?"

I took a deep breath. "It might smell...I couldn't clean up yet. And there's the dildo in the gym...so...."

Octavia smiled at me. "I'll be fine. And-" she walked up and kissed me on the forehead. "-thanks for not leaving me in there."

My heart started beating wildly. "I was gonna have those canister in case of emergency I'm so--"

"Well a stallion pointing a gun at- wait...griffon. A griffon pointing a gun at me was enough of an emergency I think." Octavia smiled at me. "And you ran in bare naked with a mask on, just for me. So, thank you, and don't complain. Some times you deserve thanks." She swatted my nose with her tail. "We'll talk about you nearly getting me killed later."

I mumbled softly. "I just--"

"And the kiss.... I'll ask this now, why?"

I locked up. My eyes starting to burn as she looked at me. "...I have...a crush...on you...."

Octavia lifted a hoof up. "Oh...and that's why--"

"Yes."

"And you asked me if I was--"

"Yes."

"And you're--"

"Yes."

Octavia watched me curl up around the blanket. "Um...save that, for now.... We'll talk about all that after we talk about the whole, tear gas thing."

I took a deep breath. "I'm really sorry--"

"I know. You broke down crying after I came to." Octavia walked off, patting me with her soft tail as she walked off. "Now, how much do you usually eat?"

"I don't know--"

"Well then we're going to have something large. I can see your ribs." She marched off, leaving me curled up on the couch.

"...She kissed my head...." I felt warm.