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      Everything's Wrong (But At Least I've Got You)       
                   -by Your Antagonist-                    
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                Come So Far and Sunk So Low                
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Come So Far and Sunk So Low
Warning/Disclaimer: The following story contains depictions of implied and explicitly depicted acts and exploits that are suggestive and sexual in nature. If this is liable to offend you, oh fucking well.
Everything’s Wrong, But At Least I’ve Got You
Written By: Your Antagonist
Revising and Editing By: Cpl Hooves
Venusian Revue
Neon purple lights fill up the darkened room,
Pulsing in perfect time to the stereo’s boom.
Scantily clad dancers far as the eye can see,
And the flirtatious waitresses rounding out this erotic menagerie,
Ensure that wine glasses clink and drunken grins spread wide,
So that patrons can forget the troubles of the world outside.
But lingerie, scented body oils and teases of the flesh,
Are just the tip of the iceberg in this carnival of sex.
To the lucky chap whose accounts allowed an extra buck,
The back room offers a safe haven to enjoy a discreet fuck,
But they’ve not forgotten the common man of common pay,
Thus the center stage holds its allure as the club’s mainstay.
Once the clock strikes two, all the patrons know,
In a moment’s time, they’ll be in for one helluva show.
As the emcee announces the arrival of a beauty without compare,
A scent sweeter than any sugar or spice fills the air.
With the crowd’s senses unanimously engaged,
All eyes eagerly turn towards the stage,
Where they find, silhouetted in a cloud of perfumed mist,
A lascivious lady that no mere man would dare resist.
A limelight captures her form and out she struts,
Putting on airs to usurp male attentions from the lesser sluts.
She’s truly an angel clad in the most devilish delights:
Stiletto heels, purple lace, a bodice not too loose, but sufficiently tight.
There’s a succubus smile on her heart-shaped lips,
A detail lost to the rolling of those hour-glass hips,
Down the catwalk she flaunts her erotic curves,
Soon she’ll leave these gawking boys at a loss for words.
A tactfully placed pole in the center of the room,
Is where this midnight rose will truly bloom,
Embracing the pole like a waltz with an old friend,
She builds momentum around the circumference and starts to ascend,
Upside-down and round and round she glides,
Maneuvering her supple body with elegance and a sense of pride,
Impossible aerial posing and gravity defying holds,
Take her audience captive and never lets them go.
Her dexterity is a rarity and her body’s so honed,
But what else could one expect from a derriere that toned?
Alas, the fair lady’s act can only last for so long,
So she leaps for a backflip, sticks it and finishes strong.
Upon departure she’s greeted with a hail of cheers and cash to her hooves;
A blown kiss to the crowd shows that our lovely diva approves.
She allows herself a moment to drink in the praise,
Yet through the leers and cheers she senses a powerful, longing gaze.
With a calculated turn of her head, what does she spy?
A blushing boy with a gold piece in his mouth and a lovestruck look in his eye.
With a foxy grin, she steps offstage and slowly begins to encroach,
Taking him off guard with her beyond forward approach.
Before he can utter a single word, she’s already stolen his lips,
His money too, but it was perfect compensation for the maiden’s kiss.
She gracelessly sweeps up the rest of her earnings and takes her leave,
To a dressing room backstage where she can find much needed reprieve.
Behind the curtain she’s quickly overwhelmed by chagrin,
And it’s in this moment of weakness that our story begins…
Chapter 1: Come So Far and Sunk So Low
“Fuuuuuuck…” Diamond Tiara groaned as she unceremoniously dragged herself into the empty dressing room and hurled herself upon a heap of previously worn costumes and lingerie. She didn’t care for a second that the mass of clothing she was unwinding upon was absolutely saturated in spilled alcohol and the perfumed sweat—among other bodily fluids— of her fellow stage performers. Far as she was concerned, between waking up at 7 to work a criminally underpaying job vending flowers that nopony bought and staying up late to work the poles, she’d earned the right to lay on the soiled lingerie of her sisters and not be judged for it; she could feel gross when she was less exhausted.
Sluggishly, she turned her head and sought out the clock on the far side room to find that it was now 2:22 AM. Eight minutes. The only thing standing between her and the end of her agonizingly long workday was just eight more minutes. Check that. Seven minutes now, and she still had her outrageous ‘performance fees’ to pay before she could leave for the night.
Diamond pulled out the little coin purse she wore around her thigh and dumped it out in front of her. It didn’t take her long to count out her earnings for the evening: forty one bits and a gem fragment that an exceptionally frisky customer—whom she had security eject from the club with a swiftness— had tried to shove up her ass during a lap dance.
Still, even without factoring in the twenty percent cut she owed the club, the pitiful pile of coins before her could barely even be considered grocery money and yet, it was the most she'd made in weeks. “Thank Celestia for day-jobs…” she mumbled under her breath, sweeping the night’s earnings back into the change purse.
“♪Oh, my little Di~a~mond♪” a familiar, effeminate voice called from behind. As she’d become quite committed to the whole “not moving” thing she had going on, Diamond couldn’t be bothered to so much as turn over on her side to see who’d called her. With sluggishness to rival a sloth, she turned to a nearby mirror, catching a glimpse of the signature cardigan sweater and hipster framed glasses of the Venusian Revue’s manager, Yummy Yearling.
“Oh, hey, Yummy,” Diamond sighed, burying her chin into a pleasantly soft pile of discarded stockings.
“Well, it looks like somepony had a good night,” Yummy said, moving to sit on his haunches before his incapacitated employee.
“Tch, define ‘good night’,” Diamond snorted, “I had some cheap dick try to stiff me for a lapdance—”
“Well that’s just no good.”
“—another jerk spilled his drink all over my favorite white stockings and didn’t even apologize—”
“Ugh, stains on white are such a bitch to get out.”
“—and then some creepy fucker followed me into bathroom and asked me if, when I was done, he could use his tongue to clean my—”
“Ew, ew, ew, Diamond, that’s like way past T.M.I. l can’t even handle—”
“—hooves,” Diamond finished flatly.
“Oh. Well that’s… anticlimactic.”
“You almost sound disappointed. Were you expecting something spicier?” Diamond teased with a catty grin.
“Like lonely, dirty old mares write about…” Yummy mumbled. “So… did you…”
“Ugh, yes, I let him.”
“Really?” Yummy rose an eyebrow. “For how much?”
“Not enough, let me tell you that.”
“Oh?”
“He, uh… ran off with one of my favorite shoes, which means that I’m going to have set some money aside to buy a new pair. Again. This is the third time, you’d think I’d have learned by now.”
“Awww… poor little Diamond. It’ll get better, you’ve just got to hang in there.” Yummy reached out and rested his hoof on Diamond’s in a show of sympathy.
“Thanks, Yummy, you’re a nice guy.”
“I try to be.”
“A really caring manager too, sitting here and listening to one of your employee’s problems. Not a lot of other ponies would take the time, y’know?”
“Well, I have always seen myself as something of an altruistic big brother for my girls.”
“But you know what the best part about you is?”
“I don’t, but I’m sure you’d be more than thrilled to tell me,” Yummy replied.
“It’s that because you’re such a sweet guy and a kind and understanding boss, you’d allow one of your hardest working employees who’s had an incredibly awful evening skip out on paying her performance fee for a night.”
“Annnnnd, it’s gone,” Yummy said, quickly retracting his hoof from Diamond’s. “I thought you were being unusually sweet.”
“Tch, I bet you would’ve gone for it if I had a dick…”
“A little less snark in that attitude of yours wouldn’t have hurt your chances either, honey,” Yummy fired back, cooly.
“Oh, come on, Yummy,” Diamond whined. “Can’t you just drop that ridiculous performance fee for just today? I really,really need this money.”
“Now, now, my little Diamond in the rough, as much as I’d love to, we both know I don't run the fanciest or most successful burlesque parlor in town—"
"Especially since calling it 'burlesque' is a bigger stretch than some of the panties I’ve worn on stage…"
 "—But! As you of all ponies should know, this business isn't all prancing and paychecks. I work my toned little tushie off to make sure you girls feel safe here. In order to make that happen, those, ah, ‘ridiculous performance fees’ are a little higher than usual, but we also give you some leeway on the rules, within reason of course. Now, if you don't like it, I’m certain that one of our city’s more tawdry establishments would be delighted to welcome a lovely mare of your caliber, but I hardly think that your divine talent for striptease will be your biggest asset. With relaxed morals comes a relaxedgag reflex, if you catch my drift.”
Diamond winced and averted her gaze as her manager’s words struck their mark. Having worked in several ‘gentlemen’s clubs’ so sleazy and degenerate that they might as well have been brothels, she knew all too well what Yummy was getting at and it was a bitter reminder of what she’d put behind herself when she started working at the Venusian Revue. And yet, humbling as that painful reminder of her past was, it didn’t change the fact that she was broke and already a month behind on her rent.
“Oh, cut it with the doe eyes, you know I how hate to see my girls in distress.” Yummy sighed and rubbed the back of his head in defeat. “Look, I’ll tell you what, if you wipe those tears and stop being such a Debbie Downer, then once and just this once, I'll let you get away with this."
“Really?” Diamond asked, to which she was met with an affirming nod.
“But, in exchange, I’m going to need you to, y’know… ‘make this worth my while’ if you know what I mean,” Yummy said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
“… What exactly did you have in mind?” Uncertainty and a bit of curiosity had found their way into Diamond’s question.
 “Well, we do have the room all to ourselves. And don’t think the stories of your ‘magic hooves’ haven’t gotten around to this gossip,” the stallion punctuated with a wink.
“Yeah, I guess, I just didn’t think you were really into that kinda thing.”
“Are you kidding? Honey, I get it done at least once a week. Twice if I’m feeling really stressed.”
“Are you sure you want something like that? I mean it's not like I’ve never done anything like that with a stallion before, but… y'know... it's you."
“Oh, you know I don’t exactly have the same passion for a woman as most of our customers, but it’s not like I can't appreciate the ah...novelties of a fine girl, such as yourself." As the compliment left his tongue, the corners of Yummy's lips began to pull back into a smile that wouldn't have been half as disturbingly sleazy if he'd flashed it under different circumstances. A quick glance at the borderline disgusted expression on Diamond Tiara's face dispelled the stallion of any notion that would suggest otherwise. "Ah, that  probably makes me sound like a total sleaze, doesn't it? I promise,The only parts of you that'll  touch me will be those skillful little hooves of yours, promise.” Yummy added with an assuring smile.
 “Okay… and you want to do this right here? Right now?”
“Well, we don’t have to do it right this second, I’ve got some 'creative bookkeeping' I need to attend to shortly, but why not do it here?”
Diamond Tiara did a quick scan of the room. Nothing around but a makeup table, the lone clock on the wall slowly ticking away and the pile of sullied undergarments she was resting on. “I know we’re alone now, but aren’t you a little worried about somepony seeing us?”
Yummy just rolled his eyes. “Sweetie, you act like it’s a big deal. Besides, it’s not like a few of the girls haven’t seen me in more compromising positions once or twice. Really need to get that office lock fixed,” the trendy stallion finished under his breath.
“Alright, if you’re sure.” Diamond looked around for a very specific item this time, finding it resting on a corner of the dressing table. “Did you want me to use some oil, too?”
“…Oh, what the hay. I was gonna have you just use your hooves, but that just sounds heavenly,” Yummy said with a slight shiver of anticipation.
Diamond thought about it for a bit, the slow blush that had been building in her cheeks getting redder by the second. In her mind she kept playing out how she thought the scenario might go until she finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“No! Just, no way! You’ve been nothing but kind to me ever since I started working here and you’re doing me a huge favor right now, but there’s no way I can do that! I mean, you literally just said how hard you try to accommodate your workers, and then you ask me for a hoofj—“
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slooooow your roll there, honey. There aren't enough fuzzy navels in Equestria to make me want to ride those curves of yours. I was talking about a back massage."
“Oh.”
“Now who’s the one who sounds disappointed?” Yummy teased.
“Hardly,” Diamond said with an irritated scoff. "Still, this means a lot, Yummy. Seriously, thank you."
"Yeah, well it's still a one time thing.” A loud crash and an ear piercing shriek from the main stage broke the silence. “Annnnnd it sounds like we’re going to have to take a raincheck on that massage. How’s tonight, before your next shift sound?”
“Sounds good… especially if you plan on cutting me the same deal for tonight.”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, we did make the arrangement for today’s take, didn’t we? And tonight is part of today, but hey if you aren’t a man of your word, then I guess I don’t have to be a mare of discretion. It’d be a shame if the rest of the girls learned about Yummy’s illicit under the table dealings for personal favors…” Diamond looked to her manager and found a deadpanned glare burning a hole into her forehead.
“You are just a rotten little ballbreaker with the face of a cupcake, aren’t you? Fine, fine, keep all that you have right now, but you’ll pay ten percent after you work tonight, got it?”
Diamond smiled and extended a hoof to seal their contract. “Pleasure doing business with you.”
“It’s hardly a pleasure…” Yummy grumbled, taking the manipulative little witch’s hoof. “Just remember, my little Diamond, if you so much as whisper a word of this to the others…” Yummy’s normally sweet and welcoming features hardened like granite. “Your sweet little flank will be out on the streets so fast your cutie mark will spin."
“Whisper a word about ‘what’?” Diamond asked innocently.
“Exactly. And one more thing before I go: you’ve got a little admirer waiting for you outside—”
“Ugh, please tell me you’re joking.”
“—and he requested the opportunity to meet, and I quote, ‘that divine rose of a mare who stole his breath and his bit away with her heavenly lips.’”
“You’re kidding right? He didn’t actually say that, did he?”
“I’m not and I’m afraid he did. I’ll admit I was a bit confused myself. I mean, you? A divine rose? That poor misguided boy.” Yummy snorted out a chuckle, earning a burning glare from his employee. “That said, I’d appreciate it if he goes home this evening thinking of the beautiful young mare he met at theVenusian Revue and the next time he’ll get to see her again rather than the black eye he got from the most violent stripper to ever walk the streets of Detrot.”
“No promises.”
“Diamond,” Yummy said sternly.
“I’m just saying that we’ll see what happens. You know how this sort of thing tends to go.”
“Unfortunately so.”  Yummy groaned, rubbing his temples in annoyance. “Look, let’s try this again: please do not kill this poor deluded boy because he is one of our valued customers and any mistreatment he suffers will not bode well for you, and by association,your wallet, understand?”
“Ugh, fine, I get it, I’ll be sweet on him or whatever.”
“Thank you, that’d be most appreciated.”
“Now, if you don’t mind, as much I love spending time with you, I started working yesterday and it’s tomorrow so, I’d like to get home and crash as soon as Equinely possible.”
“All right, all right, sheesh. No need to be such a fussbudget about it. Just don’t forget that we’ve got a little appointment tomorrow~♥.”
“Whatever…” The grumble went unheard by Yummy who was busy prancing and humming his way out of the dressing room; finally she was alone. With great effort, Diamond pulled herself off the makeshift cot and stumbled towards her personal vanity mirror where she was greeted by the same colorful, make-up covered face that had been greeting her for over nine months now. With a soft chuckle, she reached for a towel and ran it down her face, removing the meticulously applied mascara and rose-red lipstick that made up her stage persona.
With her face now clear of cosmetics, Diamond took another glance into the mirror to find that she was as lovely as she’d ever been. Fair skin. Full lips. Dark rings beginning to form under her weary baby blue eyes. Diamond shook her head before burying it in her hooves. She was exhausted.
Guuurgle.
And apparently very hungry too, though it couldn’t be helped. Considering that she spent the better portion of her waking life working, eating had become as much of an afterthought as sleep. She needed to take better care of herself and thankfully it was Saturday, which meant that she could sleep in to her heart’s content without worrying about waking up early to work her other job. All she had to do was make it home in one piece.
Sighing, Diamond stood up, put her coin purse on the mirror and began to undo the strings on her bodice, all the while musing about how odd the concept of a strip club was when ponies typically walked around naked anyway. She slid off her panties and kicked off the high-heels wondering why they were such a turn on for stallions. She certainly wasn’t complaining, after all, she did look pretty good in them if she said so herself, and they’d paid her nightly salary this evening. All forty one bits of it.
“Tch.” Stashing her ‘work clothes’ and earnings in the saddlebags she kept under the mirror, Diamond threw the bags on her rump and made her way out of the dressing room. It wasn’t long before she reached the club floor in all its neon purple lighted glory. She strolled on through, exchanging smiles and playful eye rolls to co-workers who were busy chatting up the lonely stallions in the hopes of enticing them into a backroom dance session. She knew the struggle entirely too well and considering how broke the guys were in this part of the city, she didn’t envy the girls still on shift who were essentially trying to squeeze sap out of a forest of dried up dead trees.
“M-Ms. Diamond?” a timid stallion’s voice from the bar called out, stopping Diamond where she stood. Without even looking, she could already tell who it was waiting for her. “Oh, it is you. I was starting to think that you’d already left.”
“Well, I was just about to go,” Diamond sighed, meeting the bright eyes of the kid she’d kissed during her last pole dance.
“Ah, I’m sorry,” The kid blushed and rubbed the back of his head, “I was just kinda hoping that maybe you’d want to, I dunno, let me buy you a drink or something,” he finished with a hopeful smile.
“Thanks for the offer, but my shift’s over for tonight and I’d like to get home soon. I’ll tell you what though, come back tonight at eight and I’ll be more than happy to take you up on that, okay?” Diamond sold the proposal with a wink and a smile before walking off.
“Well, uh, maybe I could walk you home? The streets are pretty dangerous this time of night, y’know.”
Diamond sighed. “Look honey, you’re cute and I appreciate the chivalry, I do, but I’ll take my chances on my own all right?” Diamond started back to the door and was stopped for a third time by a massive stallion who’d stepped in her way. “Can I… help you?”
“Yeah, actually you can. See, this is my little brother’s first time at one of these establishments, and I promised him a good time. Now the way I figure it, he’s not exactly asking you for a lap dance or a blowjob, he’s just asking to buy you a drink, so what’s the problem?”
Had Diamond Tiara been the proud owner of a shorter temper, she’d probably have flipped her lid and done something beyond rash. “The problem is I’m tired and believe it or not, I do have a life outside of this club and I’d very much like to get back to it. As for your brother, there are plenty of other girls working the floor right now and I’m sure that they’d love to keep him company for the rest of the evening, but I’m off the clock, so, if you don’t mind.” Diamond stepped around the stallion only to find herself halted for a fourth instance as he seized her by the tail.
“Hey, bitch, don’t you walk away from me when I’m—“ A mighty, meaty Thwack! rang through the air as Diamond’s hindhooves connected with the rather unfortunate stallion’s snout, sprawling the fool on his back. “Nnngh…” The humiliated stallion rubbed his throbbing snout and brought himself to a sit, glaring daggers at Diamond. “You miserable little slut, I’m gonna— agh!” The abrasive club-goer found his threat cut short as two pairs of powerful hooves grabbed him by each of his forelegs and dragged him away from the scrappy mare who’d busted him something fierce.
“Whoa, whoa, buddy, no need for that kinda language,” spoke a tall, well-muscled stallion.
“This guy giving you trouble, Miss Tiara?” the gruffer, but stockier of the two asked.
“Well, he was, until you two big strong ‘ladies’ came along,” Diamond giggled.
In his frustration and confusion at Diamond’s words, the captive club guest took a glance at his captors. To his horror he discovered that he was being restrained by the biggest drag-queens he’d ever seen, complete with frilly saddles and make-up layered so thick it’d put a circus clown to shame.
“Oh, he was, was he? Well then, what do you think we ought to do about that, Pink Sock?” asked the taller of the pair.
“Well, I dunno, Tossed Greens. From the sounds of things, it seems that we need to give this bad-boy a nice little chat about manners.”
“Yeah, a good loooong, haaaard lesson about showing some respect to the fairer sex, huh? That’s something I can really get behind.”
The dual meanings behind Tossed Green’s words weren’t lost on the captive stallion who looked to his younger brother in fear, mouthing the words “Help me, please” in vain. The younger brother could only watch and wait helplessly.
“What do you think Ms.Tiara?” asked Pink Sock.
“What do I think? Hmm… well, if we’re being completely honest, I think…” Diamond flashed a conniving smile at her offender. “I think that the dressing room is pretty empty right about now, and I also don’t think that any of the girls will need to go in there for a little while, so you three should be able to enjoy your little ‘chat’ to your heart’s content.”
“Thanks very much, Ms. Tiara. Your ‘opinion’ in this matter is greatly valued,” Tossed Greens said with a knowing wink. “Well, Pink, shall we?”
“Oh, yeah, I can’t wait to instill twenty inches of hot  ‘discipline’ into this disrespectful little darling,” Pink Sock agreed with lecherous leer.
“Wait, I-I’m sorry, I’m sorr— mmph! Mmmph!”
As she watched the two massive queens haul away their unwilling plaything for rest of the night, Diamond briefly wondered why Yummy went out of his way to exclusively hire drag-queens to work security at the club. Sure, they could hold their own in a fight and they certainly kept the guests in check, but they weren’t exactly what came to mind when she thought of an intimidating muscle-bound goon. Regardless, they were surprisingly effective and it was always damn entertaining to see the terrified looks on their victim’s faces.
Speaking of terrified looks, Diamond smiled at her handsome admirer who now presumably only saw the face of a succubus on her. “So, you’re still buying me that drink tonight, right?” she asked in a sweet enough voice that it seemed almost threatening. A shaky, soundless nod of affirmation answered her. “Great. See you then, tiger~♥” Diamond blew her nameless admirer a kiss and made her way out of the club, unhindered this time, playfully popping her hips as she went.
As Diamond pushed into the empty streets, the cool night offered a welcome change from the neon lights and perfume-heavy air of the Venusian Revue. Words couldn’t express how relieved she was to finally be off the clock, although her plans for the next ten or so hours were pretty much written in stone: raid her fridge for any non-expired munchies and sleep like a corpse until it was time to go back to work. She couldn’t think of a better way to spend a Saturday. Then again, it wasn’t like she many other options at her disposal.
The city of Detrot wasn’t exactly known for its bustling entertainment industry— or any industry at all for that matter. What it was known for was its crippling poverty, as evidenced by the pothole-riddled streets and the buildings which grew increasingly more decrepit with each one she passed. In fact, the city’s poverty was only matched by its astoundingly high crime rate; if she listened carefully enough she could almost hear the sound of a store window shattering. Certainly a far cry from the quiet ruralness of Ponyville.
Her father, Filthy Rich, would have been absolutely appalled to see the rundown city that his little girl now called home, but it wasn’t like she was expecting him to drop by and check up on her anytime soon. She’d successfully managed to cut all ties to him for almost a year now and she intended to keep it that way. There were moments where she found herself missing him dearly, but those were few and far between. She had bigger problems than keeping in touch with some greed-blinded fool who’d betrayed his daughter’s trust and tried to peddle her future to turn a profit.
Diamond shook her head, derailing her train of thought as she turned down the street to her neighborhood. Her workday had been stressful enough and she didn’t want to wind up going to bed any angrier than she already had to. Instead, she turned her thoughts to her hopefully-not-empty kitchen and her soft warm bed, thoughts that carried her up the stairs and through the cracked, peeling wooden door of her apartment. She pushed inside the abode only to be greeted by the sight of a roach skittering across the water-stained walls of her rundown one bedroom apartment. Her ever-present pest problem was only exasperated by the window left wide open due to their cooling unit having a slight explosion the other week. Diamond would be worried about somepony robbing her, if there was anything worth value to take other than the tiny television still getting it’s reception from the twisted and warped rabbit ears on top of it. “Home sweet hole in the wall…” she grumbled.
Stepping into the kitchen, Diamond immediately began her frantic search for food, finding her cupboards to be just a few crackers and potatoes shy of being completely barren, while her refrigerator was a veritable feast of bruised fruits and tinfoil cocoons containing ancient leftovers. She was ready to deem the search for sustenance a lost cause when a slightly grease-stained paper bag with her name written on it caught her eye. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, she snatched it up and was delighted to find a lukewarm hayburger and french fries inside. There was even a small apple pie to boot. It was nice to know that somepony had been thinking of her while she was suffering on the poles.
Just as she was about to pop a fry into her mouth, her ears became attuned to the distant sounds of snoring and smooth jazz from the living room radio. Silver Spoon, still wearing her ‘Hayburger Haven’ work shirt, passed out, sitting upright on their worn and torn living room couch, a thick economics textbook straddling her thigh. "Geez, what a nerd…” Diamond mumbled, a fond smile on her lips as she plopped down next to her roommate.
Fishing out her dinner, she gave it a thorough inspection to ensure it was suitable for ingestion: toasted bun (standard but staple), crunchy iceberg lettuce, tomato slices cut perfectly from the center and two patties of hay cooked to a golden brown crisp rounding out the masterpiece in her hooves. There was even a tiny king’s crown cut from an onion on the top bun, a fitting addition to this kingly sandwich. She almost felt a little guilty about having to eat it. Almost.
Another gurgle from her vacant belly sounded like the bell before a boxing match, and it was on. Fresh, full flavors exploded across her tongue as she ravenously ripped out the first chunk of the meal, unaware that in her shark-like feeding frenzy she’d stirred her couch-buddy out of her blissful comatose state and into the world of the living.
“Mmm… Diamond? Is that you?” Silver Spoon asked, groggily.
“Oops,” Diamond gave a sheepish smile and swallowed a mouthful of burger before continuing. “Sorry, Silver Spoon, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“No, no, it’s all right,” the gray mare yawned, pushing up her rimless glasses to rub her eyes. “I just didn’t hear you come in, is all.”
“I’m not surprised you didn’t hear me when you snore like a damn minotaur. Besides, I’m totally a ninja.” Diamond teased.
“Oh really? A ninja?”
“Yup. I’m a stone cold Japoneighse assassin. Silent. Sexy. Super cool. I’d love to tell you more about what I do, but I’d have to kill you after. You know how it is.”
“Okay, Ms. ‘Stone-cold Assassin’,” Silver Spoon chuckled. “I’m just saying that I’ve never seen a ninja who made such a mess when they eat.” With a catty smirk, Silver Spoon leaned over and playfully licked a dollop of special sauce from her friend’s cheek.
“Hey, not cool,” Diamond pouted, rubbing the spot Silver’s tongue touched self-consciously.
“Well, that’s what you get for making fun of my snoring.” Silver Spoon stuck her tongue out playfully. “So, how was work tonight?”
“You know, the usual: asses, asshole customers, and ass for tips. I barely managed to bring home forty one bits.”
“Sounds rough as usual, but that’s better cash than you usually come home with, right?”
“Yeah, but that isn’t really saying much. I had to coax the boss into waiving my performance fee for tonight.”
Silver Spoon rose an eyebrow at this. “How’d you manage that?”
“Silver Spoon, please. I’m a master of negotiation and Yummy’s easier than you were at Senior Prom—” A sudden influx of scarlet coloring invaded Silver Spoon’s cheeks, putting a small smirk on Diamond’s lips before she continued. “—So, all I had to do was appeal to his ego, show a little feminine charm and entice him with a little stress relief from my ‘magic hooves’. His words, not mine.”
“So… you jerked him off, then?” Silver asked bluntly.
“What? I— no! No way! Celestia’s sake, Silver, what is wrong with you? I meant that I have to give him a back massage before I work again tonight. Geez.”
“Hey, when it comes to extra favors and your particular workplace, ‘pure-hearted’ and ‘platonic’ aren’t exactly the kind of words that come to mind.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Diamond waved off Silver Spoon’s remarks about her work place. “The point is with the extra cash, we’ll be able to pay off last month’s rent.”
“You mean this month’s groceries, right?” Silver Spoon nonchalantly reached down and scooped a hoof full of fries out of Diamond’s bag.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“I paid for last month already.” Silver Spoon casually popped a fry in her mouth and smiled at the dumbfounded expression on her best friend’s face.
“Wait, really?”
“Yup.” Silver Spoon beamed proudly. “I paid for last month, this month and I even paid two months in advance. That’s not a problem, is it?”
“No, not at all. I mean that’s great and all, but… well, how? Where’d the money come from?”
“Let’s just say that a certain pawn shop in town had the pleasure of adding a fine collection of my namesakes to their inventory in exchange for four months’ rent. Seeing as how we’re set for two more months after this one, I suggest that we do something nice together for a… Diamond?” Out of the corner of her eye, Silver Spoon found her friend’s head hung and cradled in her hooves.
“Dammit, Silver, what were you thinking?” Diamond asked, a slight tremble quite evident in her tone. “Those were your mother’s weren’t they? So why… why did you sell them?”
“For rent money, obviou—”
“I told you to let me worry about the damn rent,” Diamond snapped, hanging her head in shame. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t fallen behind with everything last month, then you wouldn’t have… dammit, Silver, I was handling it…” Diamond Tiara could feel a torrent of tears beginning to well up in eyes, but before a single one could cascade free, a pair of reassuring hooves seized her own and held them firm.
“Diamond, those spoons were just things and I can always just get more things. Sure, they belonged to my mother’s mother’s mother but that doesn’t matter to me.”
“But I—”
“It was a set of decorative spoons for Luna’s sake. Spoons, Diamond. The useless kind that are just for show. Do you really think that I’m going to place some useless hand-me-down silverware that I can’t even eat off of over the well-being of my best friend?” Silver Spoon gripped Diamond’s hooves even tighter. “Not a chance in Tartarus. Now come on, and give me a smile. I didn’t sell a freaking family heirloom just to see you get all teary-eyed on me, you know.”
“Heh, Celestia, you’re insufferably stubborn, you know that?” Diamond chuckled wiping the welled up tears from her eyes.
“That may be true, but you’re just outright insufferable,” Silver Spoon joked, nudging Diamond with her elbow.
“Tch, whatever, bitch.” Diamond nudged back. “Seriously, though, thanks Silver. I really do appreciate you going through so much trouble, but I just can’t help feeling a little guilty about not being able to pay you back…”
“Hmm… well if you’re looking for a way to pay me back, my back’s been feeling pretty tight lately, so that deal you cut with your manager doesn’t sound half bad right about now. How about giving my back a go with those ‘magic hooves’ of yours, hm? I won’t call it even, but it’d certainly be good start towards balancing the scales.”
“Egh… fine, fine, I suppose that it’s the least I can do.” Diamond slid off the couch with a defeated yawn. “Lay down on your belly.”
“♥Yay♥!” Silver Spoon cheered, shedding her work shirt like a crab would an old shell and spreading out on the now-vacant couch, awaiting her much-needed pampering.
Diamond was quick to clamber on top of and straddle Silver Spoon’s hips, giving her a commanding view of the metallic-maned mare’s backside. Wanting to get right into it, she eased her hooves into Silver Spoon’s withers and ran her hooves down them in a series of deep exploratory strokes, kneading and caressing the soft flesh under her hooves. She could just feel how terribly tense Silver Spoon was with each involuntary shiver and tightening of the muscles she wrung out, mentally mapping the problem areas with each pass.
“Mmm~” Silver Spoon mewled against the delightful pleasure-pains blossoming through her back. It was like Diamond’s hooves were melting all of her stress and tensions away, replacing them with a sweet release that she couldn’t help but surrender to.
Diamond watched Silver Spoon’s evidently-pleased reactions with great envy. What she wouldn’t have given to trade places with the moaning mare melting into a puddle of bliss beneath her. It was starting to remind her of how tired she was and how much she wanted to just curl up and sleep right then and there, but she couldn’t. At least, not just yet. Fortunately she was in the mood for some small talk which in turn would serve to stave off the encroaching exhaustion. “So, how was your day?” she asked.
“Meh,” Silver Spoon half-heartedly replied.
“‘Meh’? That bad huh?”
“Well, work wasn’t so~ooh~ bad, but schoo~oooooh~l sucked extra hard today.”
“Classes starting to get too hard?” Diamond asked, now working the tense muscles of Silver Spoon’s lower back in tiny circles.
“It’s not tha~aaaa~t. If anything it’s the opposite because I swear that my classes in high school were harder and even then those were too easy~right there, right there~. The curriculum is child’s play.”
“Said the former honor student to the stripper…” Diamond mumbled. “So what was wrong?”
“Tch, it’s the other students. They’re always giving me dirty looks or talking about me behind my back and then they have the gall ask me for help with homework or research projects. What’s up with that shit?”
“I don’t see why you don’t just go to a better school, Silver. With grades like yours you’d be a shoo-in for the big-name universities, so why is some pony with a brain like yours settling for some no-name community college?”
“Diamond, we’ve~ahhh, right theeere~ we’ve talked about this. I’d really like to go to a better school, but you know we can’t afford it.”
“You know, you could go to a better school if you went back to your parents. They’d probably jump at the chance to send their daughter to the Royal University of Canterlot or the University of Saddlecuse.”
“Yeah, they probably would, if I were to go back to Ponyville.”
“So why don’t you go back?”
“That’s a really good question, but first let me ask you a better one,” Silver Spoon turned her head and met Diamond Tiara’s eyes. “Why don’t you go back?”
Diamond winced at Silver Spoon’s pointed question, knowing all too well how deep the double meaning sheathed in those words cut. “Silver Spoon, you… you know that I can’t go back to Ponyville.”
“And I also happen to know that you can’t pay the rent and afford to eat on your own. If I were to leave you’d either be starving or evicted. Face it babe, you need me here.”
Diamond Tiara froze up mid-backrub as Silver Spoon’s words hit home. The metallic mare was right of course, Diamond wouldn’t have been able to last as long as she had out here without resorting to outright prostitution if it weren’t for Silver Spoon’s support at the expense of her own education. It was comforting to know that she had a friend who was willing to give up so much just to be with her, but at the same time it filled her with a strange sense of dread.
In a sudden and unexpected gesture, Diamond allowed herself to fall forward on top of Silver Spoon, smothering the bottom party with what was mostly dead-weight by this point in her morning exhaustion. Needless to say, being as tired and sore as her counterpart, Silver Spoon didn’t take to this new development quitely. “Dammit, Diamond, get your fat ass off of me!” Silver Spoon protested, squirming beneath the weight of her roommate’s aforementioned ‘fat ass’, but stopped her little show of resistance when she felt  Diamond’s shaking hooves tenderly wrap around her shoulders and neck. “Diamond?”
“Hey, Silver Spoon?” Diamond whispered softly, her voice quivering like she might cry at a moment’s notice.
“Yeah?”
“Do you…” Diamond swallowed hard. This question had been on her mind for quite a few months now, but actually vocalising it, she wasn’t entirely sure if she was ready to hear her best friend’s answer. “Do you wish that you’d never had to leave Ponyville and all our friends just to come and keep me from doing something stupid? Do you…” Diamond clutched her even tighter, bracing herself for the question to come. “Do you resent me for making you throw away your future just to come all the way out here?”
Hearing the melancholy evident in Diamond’s voice, Silver Spoon hugged her best friend’s forelegs tightly, offering as much comfort and assurance as she possibly could. “Listen, bitch. First, you didn’t make me do anything. I came out here with you. I did. All on my own. My choice. You had nothing to do with it. And secondly, D.T.… my… my future would be meaningless without you in it, got it?”
Diamond, relieved by her friend’s words, rested her cheek next to Silver Spoon’s, nuzzling the other pony gratefully. “Yeah. I got it, Silver.”
“And, you know what? Sure I wish you’d have stayed in Ponyville so I could go to college knowing that my best friend would be waiting for me when I got back, but I’m not that stupid or selfish, D.T. I know what Filthy put you through by trying to force you into that marriage and I know why you had to leave. It wasn’t fair of him to push you into something like that, so it’s only natural that you ran. I’m just glad that you ran to me first. I don’t know what I’d have done if you just disappeared in the middle of the night, never to be seen or heard from again. So yeah, I wish we’d never left Ponyville, but there’s no other place I’d rather be than right by your side. You can believe in that.”
“Thank you, Silver…” Diamond sobbed, a single tear rolling from her eye to where they were joined at their cheeks.
A moment passed between the two as they simply indulged in the comfort of one another’s embrace, not stirring and speaking nary a word; the contented silence spoke volumes and then some for the pair. Of course, there were some things that just couldn’t be conveyed by the silence. “Hey,” Silver Spoon started, “I don’t mean to break the mood here, but y’know we were kinda in the middle of something and my back’s still pretty sore…”
“Heh, that’s right, I’m sorry, I totally forgot.” Diamond giggled, nuzzling herself against Silver Spoon’s cheek.
“So are we gonna pick up where we left off or what?”
“Hmm…” Diamond playfully tapped her chin in thought as she mulled the question over. “I dunno. I’d like to, but my hooves are just so sore… and I’m liking this position too much,” Diamond said, closing her eyes while affectionately wrapping her tail around Silver Spoon’s.
“I’m not a damn body pillow you know,” Silver Spoon grumbled, surrendering herself to the affectionate chokehold.
“You say that, but you’re just as soft and cuddly as one,” Diamond giggled.
“Feh. Well, at least you’re feeling better.” Silver Spoon grumbled “That’s more than can be said about my back, which, might I add, the weight of your ass isn’t exactly helping.”
“Aww, poor Silvy,” Diamond cooed, “So tense and stressed out, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, but like I said, my hooves hurt too much to keep massaging you—”
“In that case, getting off of me might constitute as a good start.”
“Although, I just thought of an even better way to help you unwind, and I promise you’ll like it even better than any old massage,” Diamond whispered, gently stroking Silver’s throat with a hoof.
Silver Spoon rose a skeptical eyebrow to Diamond’s claim. “What are you—”
“You’re supposed the smart one here, Silver Spoon. Figure it out.” Diamond purred, offering her roommate a hint to her intentions by way of a soft kiss to the back of Silver Spoon’s neck.
“Hey… what are you doing?” Silver Spoon asked though the question was lost on Diamond who began peppering a trail of kisses down her companion’s neck and cheek. “Diamond,” Silver Spoon almost giggled it this time as she pushed Diamond away and turned over on her back, “What are you…” Silver Spoon’s words trailed off as she caught a glimpse of the baby blue bedroom eyes that had assuredly seduced a dozen something stallions over the course of the past evening alone.
“Helping you unwind. Wasn’t I clear about that the first time?” Diamond practically breathed the words on Silver Spoon’s lips. “Now, come here….”
“Wait, we can’t,” Silver Spoon weakly protested as she felt Diamond’s hooves gently glide down her hips, “I’ve… I’ve got school in the morning...”
“And I’ve been up for a full day, what’s your point?” Diamond practically breathed the question on Silver Spoon’s mouth. Diamond leaned forward and took Silver Spoon’s lips with her own, earning a contented moan from the bottom pony. It wasn’t long before Diamond went all in with her advances, caressing Silver’s cheek with her left hoof, while her right set off in exploration of more pleasurable pastures. The instant tongue was introduced into the kiss signified the moment that Diamond had successfully dragged Silver Spoon past the point of no return; this was happening.
“D-Dammit, Diamond,” Silver panted, breaking the kiss, “You’re… you’re a real piece of work, you know that? Going from clinically depressed to school-filly in heat at the drop of a hat.”
“Oh, like you don’t like it,” Diamond effortlessly pushed Silver Spoon’s foreleg to the side.
“Nnn… T-that’s not the poin—wait, wait not there, I’m ticklish!”
As this was far from the pair’s first erotic romp together, Diamond showed no hesitation in guiding her hoof between Silver’s legs, coaxing out soft gasps and shivers with well-versed, teasing strokes along her roommate’s soft inner-thighs, promises and previews of the pleasures that her hooves would soon impart. Silver might’ve put up a tough front, but Diamond knew exactly how to break open that tough exterior and reveal the shameless, sensual side that her best friend took such care to keep concealed.
Diamond smiled as she traced her hoof along the metallic mare’s soft labia, drawing out whines and whimpers, but to her surprise, no further fussing. “What’s the matter, Silvy?” she whispered into Silver’s ear, “What happened to all that reluctance earlier? I thought you had school in the morning?”
“I… I do.”
“Hmmm… I guess your education is pretty important, and since you need to get up so early, maybe I should just stop here...”
“No!”
“Hmm?” Diamond smirked at the outburst, “What was that?”
“I… I mean I… I don’t want...”
“What’s that Silvy? You know I can’t understand you when you mumble. And if I can’t understand you, then I can’t...”  Diamond brought her lips to Silver Spoon’s neck and proceeded to suckle on her roommate’s lithe throat, causing her to gasp. Diamond pulled off Silver leaving a small hickey behind as she parted. “...properly satisfy you.”
Silver Spoon blushed as she fumbled for the words. “I… I don’t want you to stop, so, y’know... keep going.”
“Good girl,” Diamond said, “In fact I am so impressed with your honesty that I think...”
Silver Spoon shivered as she felt Diamond kiss a trail down her neck...
“...you deserve…”
… chest and belly ...
“...a little reward.”
...before finally arriving at the soft mound of moist mareflesh that was Silver Spoon’s sex. Licking her lips ravenously, Diamond grabbed the pewter mare’s soft thighs with both hooves before leaning in and imparting a kiss on her lower lips. She could feel Silver Spoon tense up from the light contact and decided to go further, this time using her tongue to spread and lubricate the labia while taking care to savor the taste of her friends now flowing love nectars.
She lingered there, lapping and licking at Silver’s luscious honeypot, urging her tongue deeper and deeper with each pass, eagerly milking her partner’s marecum like an all-you-can-eat-out buffet. But as much as she loved the taste of Silver's delectable lovepot, the true reward was the vocal honey pouring forth from Silver’s mouth with every pass. Every whimper and whinny, sweeter, sexier and higher pitched than the next, just made Diamond want to tease her harder.
“Ahn… right there, Diamond… right there…” Silver Spoon mewled, unaware that her forehooves, practically of their own volition, had settled on Diamond Tiara’s head, pushing her down and urging her to go deeper; Diamond was only too happy to comply with the unspoken request. Upon penetrating Silver’s depths, Diamond could hear an audible gasp and feel the warm, slimy walls of her partner’s pussy tighten up around her tongue.
Glancing up, Diamond could see that Silver Spoon was lost in her own little world. Eyes closed. Mouth agape and rich with the sounds of her enamored moaning. The uncontrollable writhing and rolling of her hips with each love tap her partner imparted. But Diamond’s body was not without it’s own tells either. Seeing her gorgeous lover writhing in pleasure from her actions was turning Diamond on, as evidenced by the fact that her own lewd fluids had started to flow from her own aching slit. To cope, Diamond began to grind her slit against the couch the best that she could, a crude fix but just what she needed to alleviate her own needs while she attended to Silver’s.
It was only a matter of time before Diamond felt Silver’s warm thighs lock and tighten around her ears; a sure sign that she was drawing nearer and nearer to climax. “Just like that…” Silver whined, “just like that, Diamond... I’m almost… almost…  ♥~oh fuck~♥!” Diamond winced as a fine spray of Silver’s marecum gushed forth, but she simply held Silver Spoon’s thighs tight and watched her partner ride out wave after wave of post coital ecstasy.
“Well, that was fast,” Diamond teased as Silver Spoon’s viselike thighs loosened from around her head, going limp on the couch while their owner quivered and convulsed in a pool of her own juices. “Aww, messy, messy, Silvy,” she teased, running a hoof along Silver’s now drenched thighs, before bringing it to her lips.
“Shut… shut up,” Silver Spoon panted, clearly spent from her passing climax.
“Wow, sounds like that took a lot out of you. Was it enough to sufficiently satisfy my sultry scholar?”
“Uh-huh...” Silver Spoon replied dazily.
“That’s good,” Diamond said casually sidling up next to Silver Spoon, greeting her with a kiss to the cheek. “And uh… maybe if you’re up for it, you could, uh, return the favor?” Diamond asked hopefully, but to her dismay only the sound of Silver’s snoring answered her. Diamond rolled her eyes muttering “You dummy,” under her breath.. While Silver Spoon falling asleep on her certainly annoyed her to no end, it didn’t surprise her in the slightest. Between attending school full time, pushing herself to work non-stop night-shifts and forcing herself to study until she passed out to keep her grades up, it was a wonder that Silver hadn’t fallen ill from exhaustion. The way she pushed herself so hard for Diamond’s sake would have been admirable if it weren’t so guilt-wracking for the intended beneficiary.
“Dammit Silver,” she grumbled, gently removing Silver’s glasses and brushing a lock of hair out of Silver’s eyes before planting another kiss on her cheek. “Why do you have to be so good at making me feel so b~aaa~d,” Diamond’s words trailed off as an especially forceful yawn forced itself upon her jaw, reminding the mare of her own exhaustion in the process. The inevitable embrace of sleep would be upon her soon enough. Diamond wrapped a foreleg around Silver’s waist and watched her other half sleep blissfully for a small while before sleep finally claimed her at last, but not before she murmured the words “Thank Celestia I’ve got you…”
End Chapter 1

//-------------------------------------------------------//
          And That Night, She Dreamt Of That Day           
//-------------------------------------------------------//
And That Night, She Dreamt Of That Day
Everything’s Wrong, But At Least I’ve Got You
Written By: Your Antagonist
And That Night, She Dreamt Of That Day
As Diamond Tiara stared out across the vast sun-kissed surface of the Everfree River, she couldn't help but sigh in contentment. Her present venue had it all: A gorgeous view, a field full of lush sweet grass that was perfect for grazing, clear blue skies and gently rolling breezes, but best of all....
“~Mmmmm-nyaawn~”
…a certain sleepy silver-maned filly who evidently regarded Diamond as more of a pony-sized pillow than a friend, not that Diamond particularly minded. She couldn't help but smile as Silver Spoon unconsciously nuzzled up against her neck, all the while nonsensically mumbling, “Nnn... Diamond... not so hard...... zzz...”
“Celestia, I could only 'wonder' what you're dreaming about,” Diamond joked with roll of her eyes. With a fond smile, she nuzzled her muzzle against Silver's mane, rewarding her with a pleased moan from her dozing paramour. Finding Silver's reaction cute, she began to gently nip and kiss the snoozing filly's neck and cheek eliciting an adorable array of contented purrs and mewls from her best friend.
“Oh!” Silver Spoon jolted awake and tore her cheek away from Diamond's lips, her face now blushing a brilliant rose red. “Sorry about that, Diamond, I— kyaahn~” Silver interrupted herself with a mighty  forceful yawn, “I didn't even realize that I fell asleep. That was a little embarrassing.”
“That’s alright, Silvy,” Diamond assured, gently patting her friend’s hoof, “I'd be embarrassed too, if I said the kinds of scandalous things you said in your sleep.”
“I was talking in my sleep?” Silver Spoon rose an eyebrow uncertainly. “What did I say?”
“'Oh, Diamond neigh-chan*, not so ♥~hard~♥, you’re being too rough, you’ll break me if you do it so aggressively~♥’”
Silver Spoon snorted, rolled her eyes and muttered, “Sounds to me like somepony’s been watching too many Japoneighse cartoons...”
“Mm, maybe, but that doesn’t change what I heard. Now come on, tell me what you were dreaming about, I wanna know.”
“I don’t know why you’re so interested,” Silver Spoon paused to push her glasses up, “It was really nothing special…” Despite her stern-serious words, Silver’s slowly pinkening cheeks had already betrayed her to Diamond Tiara’s keen ability to read the body language of other ponies.
“So,” Diamond began with a minxy grin, “You’re saying is that I’m ‘nothing special’, huh?”
“What? No! Th-that's—”
“I see how it is, Silver.” Diamond turned away with a playful pout, much to the other mare’s annoyance.
“Dammit, Diamond, you’re putting words in my mouth!“
“Am I? Then why don’t you go ahead and tell me what your dream was about? Or perhaps you'd prefer it if I were to...” Diamond took Silver Spoon by the chin and turned her so their muzzles were only mere inches apart, “...hazard a guess?” She finished coolly, taking care to breathe the last word on Silver's lips, a detail that sent a visible shudder through Silver Spoon.
“Hmm, I’m just afraid you might be on to something with this little guess of yours,” Silver whispered, closing her eyes as she pressed her forehead against Diamond’s.
“Oh, really?” Diamond cooed, bedroom eyed as she ran her hoof from Silver’s chin to her cheek, “Then let’s find out…”
“Yeah…” Silver Spoon tenderly brushed her lips against Diamond’s “...let’s.”
With that, the girls leaned forward and joined themselves in a kiss befitting of lovers. Despite the mutual intrusion of one another’s mouths, the kiss was, if anything, more physical in nature than it was romantic. An intimate act of skinship between nigh inseparable childhood friends; a harmless comfort of the flesh. No feelings, no emotional connections, just a mutual understanding that on some level this was just something they did to pass the time and nothing more.
“Dammit,” Diamond cursed, as she abruptly broke away from the kiss.
Silver Spoon frowned. “Something the matter, Diamond?”
“No... no, it’s nothing, Silvy. Some grass blew into my eye is all.”
A plausible excuse but there was one small detail about it that had Silver convinced it was a load of crock: “Why aren’t you rubbing it out then?”
Diamond looked at her hooves, realized what was wrong and opened her mouth to give an excuse, but just as quickly stopped herself from following through with her confession. Needless to say, Silver Spoon was quick to pick up where the conversation had lulled.
“Diamond.” Silver Spoon gently rested her hoof on Diamond’s, before meeting the her friend’s distraught baby blue eyes with her own. “What’s wrong?”
Averting her gaze, Diamond opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally finding the resolve to speak truthfully. “Look, Silver Spoon, I… I can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“This. Whatever this is.”
“Enjoying a picnic on the riverside with your best friend? That seems like an odd lifestyle choice to cut, but hey, who am I to ju—”
“You know what I’m talking about, Silver Spoon.” Diamond jerked her hoof out from under Silver Spoon’s and indignantly proceeded to hiss, “I’m talking about us.”
A small silence fell between the two as Diamond silently seethed. With a heavy sigh, Silver Spoon proceeded to break the silence. “I know.”
“Then you probably already know what I’m about to say? Celestia knows how many times we’ve had this exact conversation.”
“Diamond...” Silver Spoon pushed up her glasses and brushed her mane behind her ears readying herself to recite her half of what had practically become a scripted conversation between the two over the years. “I know how you feel about me and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same way, but—”
“But ‘what’?” Diamond swiftly cut in to Silver’s surprise. This certainly wasn’t in the script. “What reason could you possibly give me that justifies us having to creep around like this? Why can’t we just call this what it is?”
“That’s… that’s because…”
“Why is that we can fuck but we can’t make love? Why is it that I can hold you but I can’t have you? Why can’t we kiss and actually mean it? Why do we have to pretend that this ‘friends-with-benefits’ garbage is enough for us? Well? Go on, Silver Spoon, tell me! Tell me why—”
“Because we have responsibilities, Diamond!” The outburst from Silver Spoon while expected, completely caught Diamond off guard as evidenced by the startled look on her face. The two simply stared at one another a moment longer before Silver Spoon sharply turned away. “Because we have fucking responsibilities..." With a huff, the pewter mare stood up and walked over to the river’s edge, her eyes distant as she surveyed the gently flowing current. A moment later she loudly and quite intentionally cleared her throat as though to beckon Diamond over.
With an irritated snort, Diamond Tiara followed Silver Spoon to the riverbank. Plopping down on the damp grass next to her friend, she dipped a hoof into the cool waters and began absentmindedly stirring circles in the stream as she waited for Silver to pick up where she’d left off.
“Diamond...” Silver began.
“Yeah?” the magenta mare continued to stir the river while she listened.
“Look, I totally understand how you feel about this whole ‘us’ situation—”
“Oh, do you?” Diamond scoffed with an irritated swat of the water.
“—and I get how frustrating this must be for you, I really do. But like I’ve already said a hundred times before: we have responsibilities. Obligations. A heritage to uphold. We’re not like normal ponies who can just live anyway they want, our bloodlines won’t allow—”
“You mean your bloodline,” Diamond corrected.
“What does it matter!? The point is both of our lives were written out for us before we were even born! Who we’re to marry, what career paths we’ll pursue, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve already planned out how many children we’ll bare and what position we’ll conceive them in!”
“You think I give a damn what my father wants me to do with my life or who he wants me to marry? You think I care that he went behind my back and arranged a marriage with some aristocratic asshole just so he could marry into money? Screw that, I don’t care!”
“Well, that’s great for you, Diamond, but unfortunately, I have to care!” Silver Spoon roared indignantly. “Your family doesn’t hail from nobility, so I don’t imagine that you understand the pressure I’ve had to cope with since I could walk and talk! Everything my parents have done in raising me has been for the sake of preparing me to take over as heir to Silver family name! Between all those years my parents spent forcing me to learn how to work in a silver forge, parading me around all kinds of weird social events while they looked for a promising enough suitor, the excessive etiquette courses and the mind-numbing piano lessons. The only thing that kept me sane was the fact that they allowed me to attend a public school. And the only good thing that came out of that…” Silver Spoon’s gaunt expression softened as the confession found its way to her tongue, “...was getting to be with you.”
Glancing out the corner of her eye, Diamond could see that Silver’s harsh scowl from earlier had melted away, leaving a small fond smile in its place.
“Diamond, you don’t know how grateful I am for our friendship. We’ve been together since we were four and we’ve spent practically every waking minute since then joined at the hip! We’ve shared so much with each other: our deepest secrets, our first kisses...” Silver Spoon practically began to glow as she uttered the words, “...our first time.” Clutching her chest, she continued her passionate speech. “There’s nopony else in all of Equestria that I would rather give my heart to if I could, but—”
“You can’t,” Diamond sighed, “I get it already, just spare me the mushy stuff, please. I’m begging you.”
“Heh, sorry about that.”
“Agh, damn it, Silver Spoon,” Diamond moaned, rubbing at her temples. “Saying cheesy crap like that only makes it harder for me to tell you this...”
Silver Spoon rose an eyebrow. “Makes it harder to tell me ‘what’?”
“Silver Spoon, I get where you’re coming from with all that ‘responsibility-to-the-family’ junk, but I just can’t live my life according to my father’s plan. I don’t want to be some pretty little porcelain puppet for him to pull about as he pleases, I want to go places. I want to see what else life has to offer, not just be some stay-at-home trophy wife for some crusty, old noble jerkoff. I refuse to just surrender myself to the wills of my pathetic excuse for a father, and that’s why—”
“You’re leaving.” Silver Spoon finished in Diamond’s place.
“...yeah.” Diamond replied distantly.
“Just like that?”
“Well,  I wouldn’t say ‘just-like-that’. I’ve had a really long time to think about this whole arranged marriage situation, and that’s what I came up. Can’t be with you and I can’t blindly bow down just to please a couple of greedy old men, so once we’ve said our goodbyes here, I’ll be off on my lonesome, heading into the world to do... something. Dunno what yet, but whatever it is, it'll be 'my' decision and that's all that matters.”
“Diamond, this is… this is crazy! You can’t just up and leave on whim!”
“I can’t? That’s funny, because I’m pretty sure that’s what I plan on doing.”
“But what about our friends? Sweetie Belle? Apple Bloom? Scootaloo? It took years for us to bury the hatchet with them after all the crap we put them through and it took even longer to earn their trust and friendship. Did you ever stop to think about how betrayed they’ll feel once they find out that you’ve skipped town without saying goodbye?”
“They forgave me once, I’m sure they’d find it in themselves to do it again if they knew why.”
“But what about your father?”
Diamond snorted a chuckle at the mention of her father. “What about him?”
“Did you think about how this would affect him? You know that ever since your mother left him, you’ve been the only thing he’s ever cared about besides his work. I know that you don’t like his plans, but... Can you really just take that away from him?”
Diamond’s schadenfreudic smirk faltered at the mention of her mother, but she wasn’t deterred. “Maybe he should’ve thought about that before he tried to peddle me off,” she said coldly.
Silver Spoon was rapidly running out of reasons to keep her friend from fleeing, but she still had a trump card up her sleeve that was sure to put a crack Diamond’s porcelain mask of apathy, “Well… well what about me?”
Diamond winced at that one. She had to admit, Silver Spoon knew where to dig when she wanted to unearth some remorse, but the metallic mare would soon find that what she thought to be paydirt was actually the rock-solid foundation of Diamond’s will. “Like I said, I’ve had a lot of time to think about this. I figured that with all those scholarship offers you’ve been getting, you’d be far and away at some big name school while I’m off finding myself in the world.” The last bit, Diamond delivered with a complimentary side of theatrical sarcasm, but her audience of one was hardly amused.
“Ridiculous… this whole thing, you, everything is just ridiculous! I mean you say you’re just going to up and leave once we’re done here, but I don’t see any luggage besides your saddlebags. Have you even thought about where you’ll go?”
With a shrug, Diamond confessed, “Wherever my hooves and a three hundred bits will take me. It’s a wide world out there, you know,” her slightly more eloquent way of saying, “I have no fucking idea.”
Silver Spoon took a moment to let the absurd sincerity of Diamond’s words sink in. She hadn’t even so much as batted an eye as she explained herself. If Silver Spoon had thought she was joking before, she could see that the usually unserious and unfocused Diamond Tiara was all business now. Had it been anything else, college or a step towards a career, Silver might’ve commended this sudden strength of resolve, however right now she didn't know what to feel about it.
Respect was certainly a word she would've used considering how empowering this situation was for Diamond. Then again, fear also seemed like an appropriate candidate for this situation as well. Regardless of the way she felt, Silver knew there was nothing else that she could say or do to convince the stubborn mare to change her mind, so she did the next best thing: she accepted it. “Heh, you’re unbelievable you know that?”
Smirking, Diamond shrugged.
“I mean running away I can understand, but with only three hundred bits? You don’t have any more money than that?”
Diamond scoffed at the derision in Silver’s tone. “That isn’t in an account, obviously. You said it yourself, I’m all my father’s got left besides his work. So when daddy eventually comes looking for me I don’t exactly want to leave a breadtrail of bank statements for him to follow, y’know?”
Silver Spoon shook her head and fought the urge to chuckle. “Celestia help me… you had enough foresight to think that far ahead, but you didn’t bother to take out more money than a three hundred?”
Diamond's lips pursed into a pout. “Well, I thought that would be enough to take a train and keep a roof over my head until I find a placed to settle down.”
“If by ‘roof over your head’ you mean ‘empty refrigerator box’, then yes, I totally agree, three hundred is definitely more than enough,” Silver Spoon teased.
“Tch, what do you know anyway?”
There were a thousand ways that Silver Spoon could have answered that question. She could have mentioned how much more well traveled she was than Diamond, or gone on about how much she needed to know about accounting and budgeting as the future heiress to a silver-refining empire. “What I know is that it's going to take more than that if you're going to find a new place to start all over in, and knowing your spending habits, what you have right now is barely enough to feed yourself for… a week, a week and a half tops. Of course, that would be before leasing an apartment, because there isn’t a house in Equestria that would sell for that cheap, and of course the costs for electricity, gas, water, and if you can’t find a job immediately then you’ll have to--”
“All right, all right, I get it, sheesh. I’ll head back to the bank and just empty the damn thing on my way out of town.”
“Nah, don’t bother.” Silver Spoon gave a dismissive wave of her hoof.
“What? But you just said—”
“I know what I said, Diamond, but you’re in a bit of a rush aren’t you?”
“Well, yeah…”
“So in that case we’ll just have make a big withdrawal in the closest city out of Ponyville. Take out enough bits from the get-go so that we can let the paper trail you’re so worried about go cold and then make a new account in the next city after that, you’ll be a ghost.”
Seeing the logic of Silver Spoon’s suggestion, Diamond nodded. Then she frowned. Some part of that last exchange didn’t taste right. “Hold on a second, what do you mean we’ll have to make a withdrawal?” She asked skeptically. For her curiosity, she was met with a flat look from Silver Spoon that all but screamed, “Really?”.
“What do you think I mean?” SiIver Spoon asked,
As the question passed through her ears, Diamond could feel her jaw start to go slack, and for a moment, her capacity for language comprehension failed her. She just couldn’t process it. But when it finally clicked, the appallment hit like a bat to chest. “Silver Spoon you can’t! What about your family? And all that talk about your responsibility—”
“Diamond,” Silver knelt down and placed her hoof over Diamond’s. “You are my responsibility. I can’t stop you from leaving, but I can’t let you just jump out of my life forever. And while I wish that you wouldn’t put me in a position where I have to weigh my obligation to my family over the wellbeing of the one pony who means the world to me, you’ll win out every time because you’re too important to me.”
Diamond opened her mouth to pose a counter argument of some sort, but shut it just as quickly realizing nothing she could say would sway Silver Spoon’s houndlike loyalty. “Fine, do whatever you want, but once we step off, there’s no turning back, you know that, right?”
Silver Spoon scoffed. “Of course I know that. It’s just...”
“Just what?”
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly packed to hit the bricks. I want to grab a few things before we make the jump.”
“I guess there’s no helping it then. I’ll just wait for you here, so just hurry up, would you? I’m anxious to get out on the road already.”
“Why don’t you come with me? Maybe pick up some stuff for the road and the like?”
Diamond shook her head. “Nah, I’m all right, I’ve got everything I need in my saddlebags. Besides, I’m afraid that might lose my nerve if I go back into town now.”
“Fine... but you better not sneak off while I’m grabbing my stuff,” Silver Spoon growled.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Diamond chuckled.
“I’m serious. If I come back and you’re gone, I don’t care how far or how long I have to search, I will hunt you down and literally drag you back by the tail, kicking and screaming, in front of your father.”
“Geez, all right, already, I get it. You have my word, my ass will stay right here until you comeback; just don’t chicken out and keep me waiting.”
“Hmph. I’ll see you in an hour then,” Silver said as she stood up and turned towards Ponyville.
“Yeah, sounds good.” Diamond smiled as she watched her friend gallop off towards Ponyville for what would perhaps be the last time for a long while. With a sigh, she turned back to the Everfree River and watched the tranquil stream of water lazily drift by. Scarcely a moment passed before two little leaves came floating down the brook.
Both were traveling alone, but as they came nearer, their edges connected and joined them in a strong bond. The natural flow of the river couldn’t break them apart no matter how it tried. At least, until a small rock appeared before them, splitting them as easily as they came together. But as if they had will of their own, they stayed close the sides of the stone impediment and found each other once again when they cleared the obstacle, clinging to their partner as tightly as ever.
Diamond looked on the scene and found a small measure of comfort. If two little leaves could stay together so strongly, then she and Silver would be unstoppable… Right?
End Chapter 1.5
*Neigh-chan- Yeah I went there. I went there, bought a T-shirt and have been wearing it for weeks (it totally reeks now).