Above Eagles

    What makes a nightmare?

    We've all had them, and we all know what they are: dreams that you abruptly wake up from, your sheets soaking up a little more moisture than last time you checked. Or maybe you're the person to awaken in a cold sweat, fearing for your life? Or the one who wakes up screaming, perhaps. However, I'm asking just what makes a nightmare a nightmare.

    All dreams are full of emotion-- that's what makes them dreams. Are all nightmares full of fear-- an emotion in itself? Is fear not an emotion, but a mindset? Or do you not even have to be scared for it to be a nightmare?

    My case was the latter. I wasn't scared, yet it was the most horrific dream I have ever experienced in my life. The moment Nurse Redheart put me to sleep, to the mercy of her assistants' needles and threads, I was gone.

    It started off simple. The average nightmare starter: sounds of screaming. This was the part where you'd normally start the emotional rollar coaster of a night terror. But that wasn't the case for me.

    I liked it.

    The screamings, although they started grotesque, soon morphed into a beautiful, calm lullaby. So beautiful, in fact, that it might have made me cry, if I was capable of such a thing. With some effort of opening my eyes, I found myself in an endless abyss of pink.

"Don't look, little pony of ours," the voices all sang to me with parent-like love. It was the screams, morphed to sound like someone talking. "It'll all be over soon, their limbs will be fed to you. Now, look at their faces. Oh, how they scream!

"Such a peaceful sound. They can't use their arms for evil any more, or their legs to run from the concequences. But this is no sight for you. So don't look, little pony of ours.

"But now they are yelling ever-so offensive insults. We simply can't have those words in our little house, now can we? Let's pluck out their teeth, one by one, before feeding it to themselves...

"Ahh, the pain they're feeling. But the fun hasn't even started, my child! We must bite their tongues off. But this is no sight for you to see. So take my warning and don't look, little pony of ours."

    Their voices rang with a rythemic tune. I felt calm as I heard their loving melody, a feeling of warmth traveling up my body. The ice of sanity melted away, a better form being revealed. To show that I had changed, I cut my right hoof off. It wasn't painful. It wasn't even uncomfortable. It was calming. Now, I couldn't sin like the rest of those ponies.

"Don't look, little pony of ours. For we must plunge our faces into their filthy maws. But do not worry. When we are done, they will taste everything.

"The deed is done. They aren't screaming anymore. They can only gurgle. This is good. You can spit in their blood to cleanse them."

    I opened my mouth, saliva drooling from my open maw. It was mixed with oil, but I couldn't care less. I was giving my life for a good cause.

"Don't look now, little pony of ours, but you have saved us all. They are now burning to ashes. This is good. You can use them as spice for your next meal.

"But who are we kidding? We all know you are already dead. You have no lungs, after all. So, we will now abandon you to this new home of yours.

"Do not hold a grudge against us. We are only here to help. Now, don't look little pony of ours, but we will now leave."

    I felt a crisp, warm breeze run through my fur before opening my eyes. I was in a hospital room, which was on fire. The flames crawled up to the ceiling in a slow, peaceful fashion as the ground was turned to ash before my eyes. My bed was aflame below, which encouraged my eyes to lower. I held up my hooves, but only came across two burnt, fleshy bones which shook violently. Curiosity taking me for keeps, I sniffed the disfigured appendage. Crispy.

    I took a bite. It tasted quite good-- although a bit chewy when I reached the muscles. I swallowed, savoring the texture of my flesh as it traveled down my throat.

    A cool breeze attacked my firey pleasure. I hissed, baring my fangs at the abomination which assaulted me so. It was a pony, horribly, perfectly fine. I spat at the pony's hooves. I wanted nothing to do with a petty "friend." Friends were good. And good things are only destined to rot in Hell.

    I levitated off of the hospital bed, spitting some more at the pony. I spat for so long, and for so hard, I ran out of saliva. Unwilling to stop my disrespect, I bit off bits of my tongue to spit at the abomination of a pony. After a small pool of saliva and gore was appropriately spilt across the floor in front of the pony, I steadily turned myself around, eying the window in the back of my room.

    "Don't do it," the pony spoke. It was neither male or female. It was, after all, an abomination. "Don't make us both happy."

    I tried to spit, but there was no saliva to shoot, no tongue to bite. So instead, I bit off a chunk of my furry arm. It tasted like a warm peach, so I decided to keep it to myself. The pony didn't deserve to have something that tasted this good. I swallowed the chunk of gore, before turning back to the window.

    I tilted my head. The window shattered at my command. Smiling, I levitated myself toward it, before I sat myself upon the frame. Broken glass embedded itself in my backside, but I didn't care. I didn't feel it.

    I looked at the hundred story drop. The ground was blood red, courtesy of the millions of others who killed themselves with this method. I didn't want to keep them lonely.

    So, I jumped. I'm not one for painful deaths, so I went headfirst. My forehead was bare, just waiting for the hard concrete to split the skull. I closed my eyes at the sight of the oncoming floor, ready to be reunited with my brothers.

    Did it count as a nightmare?

    I didn't feel any fear throughout. But then again, I didn't feel any emotion. So it wasn't a dream. But if it wasn't a dream, or a nightmare, what was it?

    I awoke to a dark hospital room.

    I didn't know what to think. I remembered the dream (or nightmare?) perfectly. The taste of peaches was still in my mouth as I sat up in the darkness, my chest hosting nothing but a dull, extremely itchy soreness.

    The window in front of me said it was midnight, but my brain said it was noon. To my dismay, the moon was out of sight, undoubtedly above the window's view. I missed the artist, the pony in the moon, but I knew it was just out of sight. If I just leaned out of the window, I would once again be subjected to its peaceful rays.

    I steadily draped my legs over the bedside, hooves clanking on the floor. I wasn't worried anypony would notice me; I wasn't doing anything of mal behaviors, after all. I just wanted to see the moon again. So, I hopped off the bed.

    My forehead becoming good friends with the floor was my reward. I groaned, shakily moving my front hooves below me, before pushing up. My legs were twigs in the nonexistent wind, but after a few seconds of strain, I eventually stood. I trotted to the window.

    It wasn't hard to walk-- it came naturally, and as soon as my legs recognized my actions, they obeyed. I fell only once, at the very first step, but I recovered easily. I felt the blood fill my leg muscles after some time, as if it was a warm drink being poured into a cup. I obviously hadn't walked, or even stood on all fours, for a long time.

    I arrived at the door frame, slid my hooves under the window, and gently pulled it up. A crisp, cool breeze was my reward as the outside became clear: a black sky sprinkled with beautiful, white dots, gray clouds blocking some out. I felt myself smiling at the sight of night.

    However, night itself wasn't the reason I was here. It was its passenger which I wanted, the giant, white sphere beckoning me. I complied, leaning out the window. Instantly, the cool breeze engulfed my torso. My injury itched more, although that was the least of my worries.

    I saw the floor below being illuminated by a white light above. Knowing what it was, I looked up hopefully. The only reward for my efforts was a disappointing sight.

    A cloud was blocking out the moon. It wasn't big, and just thin enough for some light to purtrue from its body. I could barely see the moon.

    The cool breeze couldn't mask the sudden anger which engulfed me. My last rage was a cluster of furious thoughts and feelings, but this one was one simple question.

"Why won't that damn cloud move?!"

    I don't know what came over me, but I started to focus. It only lasted for about a second before my hoof instinctively shot forward, coming down quickly. When I looked back up, the cloud was gone, giving away to the moon in all of its shining glory.

    ...What. The. Hell.

    I sat, dumbfounded. For a few seconds, I didn't budge an inch. Did I just...?

    I extended my hoof again, aiming at another cloud. It felt as if I had control over it; like it was an extra limb which I could control with my mind. I didn't have to focus hard, I just had to imagine I was holding it. Its cotton candy-like texture was instantly felt on my hooves. Just as a test, I tilted my hoof.

    The cloud tilted with it.

What! The! Hell!

    I moved my arm to the side. The cloud dashed over to follow it. I spread out my three invisible fingers. It devided into three little puff balls, floating in the sky. It was my puppet now.

    Did these ponies have telekinesis?

    ...Freaking. Awesome.

    My hoof dropped to my lap, although my brain held firm. I pulled the strings a little, bending and shaping my puppet into my best interpretation of a frog. I heard myself chuckling at the crude sky-drawing. I was smiling as I changed it from a frog to a bird. Then, a hampster.

    How was this possible?

    Don't know, don't care! I was enjoying myself, for the first time in my day-old life! I now knew magic existed in Ponyville. Turns out this little town wasn't so bad, despite its rediculous name.

    An idea coming to mind, I collected a few of the other clouds, mashing them together to form an amalgamation of fuzz, shaped like an elephant. My brain was just getting used to this new discovery, so naturally I had trouble with the narrow points. However, I was proud of the cloudy animal.

    I looked up to the moon. It peered down at me calmly, almost avuncular. I decided to give it a little reward for its calming methods for when I first came to. I carried the clouds over to the moon, holding both my hooves out for increased precision.

    I tilted my head. The clouds rotated into each other, before slowing to a stop in a cylindrical form. I placed the clouds right in front of the moon, making a perfect hole so it could shin through brightly.

    Without warning, I heard something which sounded kind of like a mix between a squeak and a rubber chew toy. Realizing it came from my own mouth, or in this case grin, I paniced.

    What the Hell was that?! What, is this some sort of vocal chord infection? Who does that kind of noise? It's horrifying!

    Wait, why am I suddenly falling?

    Somewhere, in my panic, I leaped forward.

    So, not only was I an idiot when it came to talking, I was also a complete dumbass when I wasn't even doing anything!

    It happened slowly. First, I looked down to see that I was plummeting, face first, three stories high. After that, I realized just how screwed I was. Then, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

    Just one day after I wake up from a sleep which lasted who-knows-how-long, I'm dead! I had, in every aspect, royally shoved a cactus up my ass. I am fucked! All because I wanted to do some dumb little art project in the air!

    I was still screaming.

    Honestly, how stupid can a pony be?! If I had just stayed indoors, and just tried to go asleep again, I wouldn't be plummeting to my death right now! Oh man, what mutation of a name will they put on my gravestone?

    I was still screaming.

    I died without even knowing my name! Celestia-dammit, why did I do this?! Those bucking clouds! Making me their smiling, artistic bitch!

    I was... still screaming?

    My violent thought process ended with my fall. My screaming slowly subsided, looking down to see the ground, just in front of my face. It wasn't launching towards my head, just laying there. I slowly looked to my side. The sidewalk extended to a small village around me, the inhabitants sleeping within.

    I was floating.

    My breath grew coarse as I suddenly realized what was happening. My brain started to grow sore from the output of lifting my own weight. Without paying heed to anything around me, I laid a hoof on the cement, before lowering all four to the floor. After I knew I was safe, I let go of myself. I stood there, numb, for what seemed like minutes, but felt like hours before something warm dribbled down my lips.

    I reached a hoof up, rubbed it against my mouth, and extended it to see that my nose was bleeding. My brain also hurt as I shakily put the hoof down. It was a signal for my invisible muscle to stop working, and I complied.

    It was then I felt myself grinning.

"...Gyh!"

    My body transformed into an ice cube at the sound of that voice. I knew exactly who it was. Moments after the fatigued grunt, there was the sound of a body hitting the floor. I cringed, shakily turning around to see an unconscious Nurse Redheart, laying on the paved road from raw shock.

    Whelp. Shit. Apparently not all ponies have telekinetic powers.

    That morning, I awoke to the sound of the door to my room swinging open, hoofsteps exploding my way, and a very traumatized Nurse Redheart stopping at the foot of my bed to stare at me. I mentally prepped myself as I channeled my best acting skills, still feigning sleep. Hopefully, the plan I devised last night had worked.

    Through my extremely narrowed eyelids, I saw the nurse stare at me for what seemed like fifteen minutes straight. Then, she turned away, deep in thought. I couldn't breath a sigh of relief, however, as she resumed her stare almost instantly afterwards. She was most likely contemplating whether or not last night was a dream. Hopefully, the spot where I had put her had worked in making her think it was just that.

    Nurse Redheart gave me a look before disappearing around the curtain. I didn't dare breath, however, as she came back holding a stool. With a wooden clank, she plopped the stool down beside my bed. Behind my back, I heard her stay silent for a long while, before speaking.

    "I do have a house of my own, you know that right?" she deadpanned. I felt the blood rush from my head like a vacuum. "I have my own bed, too. So why did you think putting me in a hospital bed, right next door to your room, would help?"

    I clenched my eyes shut. I didn't know why she was talking to me this way-- magic existed here, didn't it?! What was she going to do?

    Nurse Redheart bounced her hoof on my bed, jostling me. "I know you're awake. Let's chat about just what happened last night."

    I cringed one last time, taking a breath. There was no way I was getting myself out of this one. And...

    Celestia-dammit, I whimpered again! I didn't know much about myself, but now I knew I was an emotional wreck. It was a wonder I wasn't a mare.

    "Talk to me," I heard Nurse Redheart command. There was authority in her voice, reigning supreme over any opposition I had.

    "...Ai thot... magik exceested herr," I finally whispered.

    Nurse Redheart didn't respond. I wished I could melt away to liquid and be absorbed by the bed I was in. Or maybe I could use my brain powers to fling myself out the window? I'd surely die at this height.

    "...You really don't remember anything, don't you?"

    I didn't expect her to say that.

    I slowly turned to Redheart. Her eyes were fastidious, her mouth a thin line. I never thought I'd think this, but the pony in front of me, who had a medical hat, a human face, and eyelashes, was actually intimidating.

    "Ai dunt," I confirmed.

    Nurse Redheart's cyan irises seemed to be glued to my own. She hosted a poker face for some time, before looking down. "I don't know where you're from, and now I know you don't either. But earth ponies do not have magical capabilities, anywhere." She peered up at me. It wasn't a glare, but a genuinely concerned gaze. "Most ponies would... overreact if they saw what happened last night. Trust me when I tell you to not tell anypony."

    I let a low chuckle escape my mouth as I looked up at the ceiling. "Nuponee wul beleev me. Dey hav a habitt uv dat."

    That seemed to stir feelings. "I'm sorry for not believing you earlier," Nurse Redheart admitted. "But you really can't blame me. I mean, a pony who doesn't remember anything? Not even his name? I thought you were on drugs at first." I smiled, glancing her way. She hopped off her stool. "I'll make it up to you. It might take some time, but I can help you get your voice back."

    I didn't control it, and I barely felt it, but my ears perked up. The feeling alien to me, I jerked them back down.

    I said my best thank you as Nurse Redheart trotted away. However, before she could exit, she looked back at me. "Don't do your... thing when I'm gone."

    At least I wasn't the only one who wasn't good with words.

    Nurse Redheart left. Instantly afterwards, I felt giddy. Not only was I going to learn to speak better, but I was also alone-- I could practice my "thing." Redheart didn't truly know how gentle I could be with it-- I had, after all, lifted myself.

    I eyed the machine to my left. The plastic tubes which were formerly in my left arm were now strung up upon its clip, holstered. I grabbed it with my telekinetic arm, but it was noticeably harder to hold than the clouds, or myself for that matter. It was heavier, although more fragile. The skinny stem trembled in my grasp as I held on.

    I lifted it from the ground. It was trembling, as if from fear of my power. I strained to keep it steady. My invisible muscle was struggling now, which encouraged me to wonder if I was really "all that powerful."

    That was when I noticed the dent in the machine, courtesy of my outburst yesterday. I sighed.

    I really didn't have any right to lash out like that. Hopefully, Rainbow Dash would come and see me again. I didn't even thank her for saving me!

    Well, next time when she comes, I'll be more hospitable. Along with this machine. I attempted to bend it back in place.

    The tall metal stem instantly snapped in half as the bipod launched across the room, crashing against the far wall. It landed in a bent, cluttered mess on the tile floor, screeching out as if in pain. Turns out I was straining earlier, not because it was too heavy, but because I was too powerful. My ears flopped down to my skull.

    "...Shit," I said out loud. That word was all too easy to pronunciate.

    I heard hoofsteps cluttering down the hall, just outside my door. I panicked, throwing my hoof out to the destroyed machine. It reacted instantly, slamming against the wall again. It left a dent.

    "Damnit!" I grunted. The hoofsteps screeched to a stop outside my door. As the doorknob was turning, I was throwing my hoof up. The machine launched up to the ceiling, glued to the top of my room.

    The door swung open, Nurse Redheart sprinting inside. Various cards were in her mouth as she threw the curtains aside, giving away to me, feigning calm in my bed.

"WHRMM HMMMPMMD HMM?" she questioned. I gave her a confused look. She ripped the cards from her mouth. "What the Hell happened?! I heard a crash."

    I swallowed, hard. I even heard the nervous sound effect emminating from my throat. I couldn't glance up at the smoldering mess of a (most undoubtedly extremely expensive) machine, as that would give it away. Instead, I told my best bluff yet. "...Aye fel."

    Nurse Redheart didn't calm down in the slightest, her glare unwavering. I looked down at the cards in her hoof, thinking of changing the subject. "...Wat arr thoze?"

    As a response, Nurse Redheart looked around the room. Thankfully, she didn't bother to tilt her head up in the slightest. Redheart put the cards back in her mouth to trot beside my bed, pull up the stool, and sit on it. Her eyes suspicious, she glared at me for quite some time. I prayed to whatever god there was that she couldn't really tell what I was thinking by looking into my eyes.

    Nurse Redheart grabbed the card stack from her mouth, laying them face down on her lap. "I can help with your pronunciation problems. Do you know what a flash card is?"

    I nodded. Please tell me I wasn't sweating.

    "Okay," Nurse Redheart showed me the first card, face-on. I recognized the picture as a fence, although there was something scribbled in black ink below it. I tilted my head. "Read this," she said.

    I blinked. "...Ai campt reed."

    Redheart facehoofed. "Great," she mumbled. "Just great..."

    I quickly cast a glance at the floating machine on the other side of the room. It was completely still, mimicking my own self. I turned my gaze back to Nurse Redheart just as her hoof lowered to her lap. "Okay... Can you at least tell me what the picture is?"

    I concentrated. "...Venz."

    Nurse Redheart shook her head. "Soft s. Go easy on that f, too. Say it like this: Fence."

    I was never great at multi-tasking. Or, at least, I knew now. I focused on my pronunciation, although my brain was split between my wording and the floating machine just across the room.

    "Vvv... ffenz," I sounded out.

    Nurse Redheart shook her head again. "Fence."

    I grinded my teeth. "Fenzz."

    "Fence. Make an s sound, not a z."

    I frowned, cencentrating. "Vense."

    "You messed the f up again."

    "Machine."

    "Excuse me?"

    I felt my ears perk up, and my pupils shrink. "F-...Fence!"

    Nurse Redheart, after giving me a suspicious look, placed the card at the back of the stack. "We'll come back to that one. Now, what's this?"

    It was a fireplace. Great. Three syllables, as if I was ready for that yet.

    I felt some heat on my telekinetic muscle. But I couldn't look now; Redheart's eyes were right ontop of mine. "...Do yu dink... Aye am redie for... dat?"

    Redheart peered over her hooves, seeing the object in question. I seized the chance, glancing up to the machine.

    It was smoking.

    Nurse Redheart was talking when I looked back at her. "Yeah, it seems okay. It might look long, but it's only four sounds. Try your best."

    I blinked slowly, concentrating. "...Foireplas."

    "Not even close. Get rid of that Manestralian accent and try again."

    I shuffled, trying my best not to look at the smoke stack right across the room. "Fayur... plaze."

    "Again."

    I shut my eyes, straining. "...Faireplaze."

    "Better. Keep trying."

    "Fiyer..." I zoned out, my eyes sliding to the smoking mess' location. Could it start a fire..?

    "Fire what?"

    "Plase!" I finished, snapping out of it. My mind became warm as the machine followed its lead. I felt the sudden urge to pant.

    "Good enough. We'll come back to it." Nurse Redheart flipped to the next card. It was a hospital. Who was I, a major in pronunciation?

    My brain hurt. I rubbed my temples gingerly, hearing myself sniff just before it felt as if someone put Pop Rocks in my ears. Something warm dribbled down from my nose.

    Couldn't I just set the damn thing down somewhere?! I groaned out of frustration.

    "Sir?" Nurse Redheart started. I looked her way, eyelids half closed. She reacted instantly, not waisting any time to jump out of her stool, before running to behind the curtain. I looked after her, confused, before looking down.

    What looked like a steady stream of blood was running down from my nose, splattering my covers red. I raised a hoof up, rubbing my nostrils. It came back into view with a new, red paint job.

    Nurse Redheart trotted back to my side, before holding several tissues up to my nose with a now gloved (or socked) hoof. They soaked up the red waters greedily, making Redheart have to switch out the tissues for another, then another, then another.

    "Celestia-dammit, what did you do?" she scolded.

    My response was letting go of my grip. A metallic crash sounded just behind the nurse, encouraging her to yelp out of surprise, jumping. I blinked woozily.

    Was that machine always on fire?

    "Why am I always in these situations?" Nurse Redheart complained, glaring at the fire as she was stuck on caring for me. She handed me the tissues. "Use these."

    And with that, she dashed out of the room. I sat there, dumbfounded.

    By now, it was evident that the nosebleed was an alert to my brain to stop working telekinetically. I was definitely going to have to get used to controlling my output if I was going to live with this thing.

    I peered at the burning machine, tilting my head. I didn't know why, but the flames intrigued me-- much like the moon. The tongues of fire hopped up and down, the embers playful children on a trampoline. Whereas the moon interacted with me beautifully, the fire was just as beautiful on its own, no interaction necessary.

    My examining was inturrupted as a metallic clang spiraled from behind the curtain.

    "Celestia-dammit, again?!" a feminine voice barked. Meanwhile, Nurse Redheart threw the curtains aside, giving away to her two other companions-- the same ponies which had stitched me up earlier. The unicorn was groaning as her horn emitted a sound comparable to a soft record being scratched. Her stallion companion gave her a look.

    "It was working just this morning," he said.

    Nurse Redheart shook her head begrudgingly, picking up the fire extinguisher on the floor before spraying the burning machine. Once again, she had to stand on her hind hooves to perform the task, and once again, she was adorable.

    When the dancing children were killed, Redheart glared back at her companions. "Focus, students."

    The two sighed. "Sorry," the mare muttered. "But my magic was working just earlier! It seems like whenever I have to deal with him, it just fails on me. And what happened to his nose?!"

    I have a name, lady--

    ...Oh. Wait.

    "It started bleeding," Nurse Redheart answered. She gestured to the smoldering machine. "Clean this up, and make arrangements for a new Automatic-IV. I need to talk with the patient."

    The ponies nodded, getting to work. The unicorn kept giving me glances as she did her job, suspicious of me. Nurse Redheart, meanwhile, trotted to beside my bed, sitting on her stool. The mare student exited the room, "Automatic-IV" in tow. The stallion wiped the burn marks clean, before running out of the room, closing the door behind him.

    I felt Nurse Redheart's eyes bore into my fur. She knew what I did, and knew I knew that, too. I focused on placing a fabric dam in front of my bloody waters, instead of her glare.

    "You did your thing, didn't you?" she said plainly.

    I nodded.

    An awkward silence followed before she popped it. "That stuff is expensive. A normal IV might be worth just twenty or ten bits, but an Automatic-IV? Damn, you really screwed up this time."

    I replaced the wet tissue with a new one.

    "...So, you know anything about this radius of 'anti-magic' you got going for you?" I blinked, confused. "Anypony I send around you gets a free magic-barrier to the horn. Or wings, in the case of Ms. Rainbow Dash." Nurse Redheart leaned in, close. "So, can you control it, the way you can control everything else with that brain of yours?"

    I shook my head. I didn't even know what she was talking about, let alone how to control it! And why was she being such a bitch? I didn't do anything to her.

    She must have noticed how my eyes became narrower. Redheart leaned back, finishing the pep-talk. "I'll get somepony who's more equipped to help with your reading. Then we can work on some more flash cards." She hopped off the stool, picking it up with her teeth and the flash cards with her hoof as she trotted away. She didn't get far, however, as it seemed another thought came to mind. Nurse Redheart sat the stool to the floor, looking me in the eye. "You're lucky you don't have any money. I would have definitely put you in debt. But, then again, that wouldn't be the best welcoming to Ponyville, now, would it?"

    I replaced the now red tissue with another one.

    "...There's a trash can beside your bed," she said, before gripping the stool again, trotting out of the room.

    I cringed. Not only did my brain hurt, but my relationship with the nurse wasn't fairing too well, either. I glanced at the spot where the smoldering result of my efforts used to be.

    Well, now I knew I was a major klutz. I needed to learn how to control this; and what my limits were. I was fine holding that machine up to the ceiling before, that is, until it started smoking. Did the elements get in the way of this "thing?"

    There was tapping on the window. Confused, I turned to the glass to see Rainbow Dash, hovering just outside the glass. She gave a sheepish smile, waving with one hoof. She was obviously holding something with the other. Dash gestured to the window, mentally asking to come in.

    I gave her a look.

    What did she want?

    Rainbow Dash groaned. "Hey!" she said, her voice slightly muffled by the glass. "I'm sorry about last time, alright? But I have something for you. Can you open the window?"

    My glare held. What did she have that I would want? Really, I just wanted to be alone right now.

"Did he get it yet?!" a girlish voice yelled out below.

    Rainbow Dash turned her head to whoever was below her. "Hang on a sec!" She turned back to me. "Dude, c'mon. Help me out here; just let me in."

    I felt a growl emmit from my throat as I threw my legs over the bedside, ready to grant her wish.

    That was when I remembered my radius of anti-magic.

    I froze, cursing my luck before turning to Rainbow Dash. She was getting impatient. "Wai dunt yoo jus... wok inn?"

    "Pfft. With Redheart making sure I stay on the naughty list? Ain't gonna happen." She tapped the window with her hoof. "Can I come in now?"

    The girlish voice spoke up again, a strainingly loud whisper. "HOW ABOUT NOW?"

    "No, Pinkie, not yet!" The pegasus turned back to me pleadingly.

    I wanted to let her in, but her falling to her death was not on my List of Desires. I would have to open the window from here-- hopefully she could get inside before she lost her flying.

    "...Tern arown," I suggested.

    Rainbow Dash gave me a confused stare.

    "...Tern..."

    "I know what you said, I just don't know why."

    Bucking...

    "...Aim nekid."

    Dash wasn't expecting that, by the look of how she reacted. She seemed to stand upright in the air, gesturing to her bare fur with one arm as if it was a sight to behold. "...Dude, I am, too."

    I frowned. "Pleez jus... toine arund!"

    Rainbow Dash groaned, turning her back to me. "Stallions are weird," I heard her mumble, although I didn't focus on it. I focused on the window sill, grabbing it with my mind. I felt it strain, and my nose started to bleed again, but I pulled up.

    I grabbed another tissue, pressing it on the bleeding orafice. "Cum in..."

    "That was quick," Dash acknowledged, crawling in the frame. She was holding something behind her back with her wings, standing on her hind hooves. "Anyways, a friend of mine wanted-- woah, what happened to your nose?"

    Rainbow Dash placed whatever she was carrying on the floor, just out of sight. She trotted to beside me. Thankfully, the pegasus wasn't in flight.

    I followed Nurse Redheart's example, although my voice wasn't nearly as sophisticated as hers. "...Eet stawted bleed'n'."

    "No kidding," Dash agreed. "Did--"

    I cut her off. "Wai aw yoo herr?"

    The voice outside called out again. "WHAT ABOUT NOW?!"

    Rainbow Dash gave me a concerned look, before dashing to the window. She stuck her head out, glaring at someone below. "No! Not yet!"

    "Well, hurry up!" Pinkie hollered back. "Because I wanna be right on time when it's my cue! Just tell me when he knows, exactly! Oh! Wait! Then I'll be 2.61 seconds too late! Just stay by the window and wave to me when he sees it! Ooh, I can't wait..!"

    She sounded like a Pinkie.

    Dash turned back to me, smiling sheepishly. "Aheh... My friend wants to get to the point. But your nose--"

    "Eets hokeh," I said. "R... reeleh."

    Rainbow Dash gave me one last concerned look, before picking up the mysterious object. "...Anyways, my friend is a huge party enthusiast, so she naturally wanted to throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' extravaganza the moment you came. But, you having a massive hole in your chest and all... Yeah. Didn't really work out. But hey, she wanted me to give this to you."

    Rainbow Dash pulled the object out from behind. The moment my eyes laid on the thing, my stomach rumbled. I quickly covered myself up as Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Most ponies react that way."

    I sniffed the air...

    ...Oh, my God. All the cacti. Straight up my ass if I'd ever smelt anything so good in my entire life, previous and current. I felt saliva gather up in my mouth as I suddenly realized how hungry I was.

    I was the first person ever to think "I can't remember the last time I ate," and be telling the truth.

    Rainbow Dash was waving to somebody outside. Before I could react, a pink pony almost instantly burst through the window frame, throwing her hooves up as she landed. "HAPPY SURPRISE-WELCOME-TO-PONYVILLE-PARTY-AFTER-SOMEPONY-TOLD-YOU-THERE-WASN'T-GOING-TO-BE-ONE-PARTY!!! THAT'S A DOUBLE SURPRISE!"

    I had a heart attack.

    But that didn't affect me at all, considering my heart wasn't even working in the first place.

    Rainbow Dash grinned as the pony hopped up, bouncing in place. Her mouth instantly turned into the most annoying thing on the planet. "I'm really excited you're here! I stayed up all night long baking that cake for you-- I hope you're not allergic to deliciousness!" She giggled. "That was a reference!"

    I gave Rainbow Dash a look.

    "She's like that all the time," she chuckled, glancing her friend's way.

    "I wanted to be here when you took your first bite of anything, ever!" Pinkie cheered. "It was an honor to be the creator of the first food anypony's had; most ponies who haven't had food yet are first borns, so I unfortunately can't cook them any of my goodies. Something about their gums being too sensitive, but..." She kept talking. I stopped listening.

    I was too busy giving Rainbow Dash a glare. "...Yoo tuld hurr?"

    Rainbow Dash shrugged. "She helped me carry you here. She deserved an explanation."

    That made sense. Still, it irked me.

    "...Her, and a few other friends."

    That did more than irk me. "...Hou munee?"

    Rainbow Dash cringed. I glared. Pinkie, meanwhile, explained.

    "Five!" she chippered.

    I was slightly tempted to throw Rainbow Dash out the window. Slightly. But tempted, nevertheless.

    "...Ai'll haf dat... cayk noaw."