Above Eagles

by Pree Spunky

Rating: teen
Tags: Mystery, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Gore, Opalescence, Nurse Redheart, Other, Thriller
Length: 44266

Today I woke up with no memory, a fatal hole in my chest, telekinetic powers as an earth pony, and a certain purple alicorn who somehow knows everything about me but refuses to share. And that's not even the craziest part. [A Chronicle crossover]

This story is a crossover of the 2012 film "Chronicle." However, no prerequisite knowledge is needed.
Chapters 1-8 edited by Souldrainr

So they say first impressions are the most important ones? Well, so far Equestria is making one horrible college roommate. For starters, my life suddenly "came to" with me waking up in a creepy forest with no memory, an inability to speak, a hole in my chest where pretty much all my vital organs used to be, telekinetic powers as an earth pony, a growing radius of anti-magic around me, and a purple alicorn who somehow knows everything about me but refuses to share.
Add all that to the fact that a hooded figure is following me 24/7, and you've got a recipe for a very pissed off psychopath. Slow descent into madness, here I come!

Rated Teen for strong language, gore, black comedy, and sensitive themes. :rainbowderp:

CANCELED because of lack of motivation.

Published 2014-12-09 03:40:12 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-18 17:02:53 UTC

X: Andrew the Basket Case

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XI: Beat Anywhere but Around the Bush

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Prologue: The Vengeful Princess

Prologue: When Queens Fall

    An exhausted grunt escaped my system as my hooves finally overpowered the heavy stone on top of me, pushing it aside. Cool, desolate air instantly breathed on the bare fur, cooling my injuries, but at the same time, whispering a stinging sensation to my burns. The scarring cut on my chest had reopened, although it wasn't nearly as bad as it was when I first received it. I only had enough energy to plant my forehooves on the ground beside me, pulling myself up to rest on a stone, before going limp.

    I didn't pant. My breathing was silent, just like the ruined city around me. It was a different exhaustion which tugged at my muscles whenever I tried to use them. It wasn't physical output which had tired me so, but a mental output. My brain had ran the marathon as my body cheered it on. Now, however, they were both unable to operate.

    My snout was numb from the blood which was leaking from my nostrils, dripping out like a clogged hose. It splattered on the gray rubble and dusty fur beneath, slowly painting both maroon. I didn't know how much of my blood my nose wept, but I did know it was an alarm to my brain to stop pushing itself. I shakily raised an arm, wiping my snout. When I peered down at the fur, it was as if somepony had took a paintbrush and stroked the fur.

    My arm dropped at the sound of hoofsteps coming my way. I knew who it was. She was the only one that would come to this massacred city.

    The sound of a rock dropping caught my attention. After a few seconds of the familiar sound of magic struggling and failing, it was replaced with something heavy being dragged across rubble and dirt. In the gray mist left over from the massive destruction which commenced just hours ago, a sillhouette became evident. It was the figure of a tall alicorn, dragging a lump of something on the ground as it made its way to me. I only relaxed, letting my brain recuperate with the nessesary, telekinetic juices.

    The silhouette  became larger as she neared, before giving away to the being. She was dragging a rock with her, pushing it in front whenever she took a step. Her eyes were seeping with tearful, quiet rage as they latched onto me. Her cheeks damp, muscles shaking, and eyes vengeful, she continued to limp my way, stone in tow. The silence of the eerie place was shredded each time she pulled the stone along with her, rubble crackling away when it neared.

    I could tell she wanted nothing more than to rip me limb from limb from the way her horn sparked. I knew she couldn't use magic, though. Not when she was around me.

    She was mumbling something now, her sharp pupils never leaving mine. She was only yards away now, and I could see a steady trail of blood trailing from her mouth, stringing her dusty fur damp. After five more pained, furious steps forward, she was now standing inches from my head. She dragged the heavy stone forward, before bending over and heaving it up, over her head.

    She almost collapsed under the weight of the torn cement, but held true to her motivation. Her tear-stained cheeks trembled as she stared down at me, eyes narrowed to slits. She took a deep breath; even her breathing was shaky. Finally, she spoke.

    "You made me do this," Princess Celestia said stoically, trembling. I only blinked. "...But I will never regret it."

    The stone came hurdling down, aimed at my forehead.

    But to truly understand how it got so out of hand, how it escalated so crazily, you can't possibly begin from the end. The movie doesn't play from the middle-on, it has a beginning, rising action, climax, and resolution. In that specific order. I need to start from the beginning. When the Protagonist was just another clueless hero to-be.

    But I guess I'm no Protagonist. My name is Andrew Detmer, and this is the story of how I became the most famous stallion in Equestria.

Above Eagles

Written by Pree Spunky

with pre-reading and editing from Maximus_Reborn, and Souldrainr

I: Gaping Holes

    What is death?

    It isn't what everyone says it is, I can tell you that much. It doesn't matter if you were good, bad, kind, a bully, or a villain. At least, for me that is. There wasn't a Heaven or Hell for me. I think I thought there was at some point, but I can't be sure. Was I a Christian? Mormon? Jew? I didn't know.

    In fact, I didn't really know anything. How did I get here, in this pitch black abyss of nothingness? Did it have something to do with the last image of my mind, what looked like a metal pole piercing my abdomen, leaving me suspended from the floor? I guess that was how I died. Being stabbed through the chest with some flag pole. Hopefully an American flag. God bless the USA.

    Wait... What was that all about. What the Hell's an "America?" What's a USA? And why did I use those two as synonyms? The Hell's a synonym?

    So now I'm just remembering things accidentally, and I don't even know what they are. I wanted desperately to just know what was going on. I didn't care if it was just a little information-- it could be like peeking through a keyhole of the door of knowledge, and I'd still be happy with it.

    Was this how it was like to be dead? To just float around in pure nothingness forever, my only friends my thoughts? My empty, forgetful brain? How could someone forget their entire life? Did I even have a life at one point? Is this how Liam Neeson felt in Unknown?

    I just did it again!

    If I could spit out of frustration, I would have.

    This is bullshit. I knew nothing but the basic words in my mind, along with a few advanced ones. Like synonym. Wait. No I didn't! Seriously, what was a synonym?

    I was still at a loss when something unexpected happened. A light appeared.

    It was a small one, emitting just a few particles of light in the pitch black. But it was different from everything I had experienced so far, so I instantly took a liking to it. It was about the size of a pea, a heavenly white emitting from its core. It cut through the darkness like a knife through butter, steadily growing.

    I was contemplating what a knife or butter was when something else changed. A voice was heard. It was feminine, blurred, worried, and loud. It bounced off the nonexistent walls of the nothingness I resided in, amplifying the sound until it was a constant drum in my ears.

    Wait a minute. I knew what nonexistent, amplifying, and a drum was! Something was definitely changing.

    The light got brighter, and the sound got louder, and my mind became clearer. Nonexistent was an adjective which meant not to exist. A drum is an instrument. A synonym is a part of speech; a word that means the exact same as another when in the right context. I was on a roll! My brain (which is, by the way, an important organ in your cranium) became clearer as the light followed, expanding and expanding. The voice grew more clear, and I could make out a few words.

"Where..." was one of them. After that it was blurry, until I could distinctly hear the word "...help..." After that, more muffled gibberish, until another word rang clear. "Somepony."

    Somepony? That wasn't in my ever-so richly expansive grammatical knowledge.

    Speaking of knowledge, shouldn't I remember more by now? I knew what most words I thought up meant, but there was a wall which kept my memories locked up.

    I still didn't know what an America, otherwise known as "USA," was. Or, really, what the last image in my mind meant. I presumed it was my death, but if that was true, would I even be here right now? Or was this an angel waking me from my physical sleep?

    As the voice became clearer, the light became brighter.

"No. I'm not going to just leave you here. C'mon, colt..."

    Colt? Was that a name of a person she was speaking to? And leave who where? They didn't mean me, did they?

    Then again, that would make sense. I probably fainted from blood loss or something, and they were trying to wake me up. Getting stabbed through the chest with a pole can really be a blood-spiller.

    Hopefully they had common courtesy and stitched me up.

"Nng! What the...? Why can't I fly?"

    Guess that helped a little with knowing what I was. My race flew. At least, they talked about it like it was possible.

    The light was slowing its approach now, but it still grew. Instead of a hot knife through butter (I knew what those were now!), it was like black paper being held up to a light, a dull pencil punching through its surface. It ripped away at the darkness diligently, but slowly. I wanted to cheer it on.

"...Well, this sucks," the voice groaned. I sympathized with her.

    The light was blinding now, attacking my eyes with a vengeance. I held my hand up, covering my sight from the offensive glow.

"Woah--!" the voice squeaked, followed by the sound of wood scraping against fur. Instantly afterwards, a dull pain made itself known in the back of my cranium. I groaned out of pain.

    ...Wait a minute.

    I heard that. I made a sound! I instantly tried to speak to the newcomer, but I was at a loss for words.

    Literally. I couldn't speak. I didn't know any words. I mean, I knew how to think words, and I knew what they meant, but there was a wall between my brain and my mouth. It was like a barrier in my vocal cords. It was frustrating and hard, but I tried to say a simple phrase to the unseen individual, anyways.

"...Herrer," I heard myself mumble.

    Great job, me. You just won the award for worst "hello" ever.

    The voice was silent for a while, the light tantalizingly close. I wished I had legs so I can leap to it. In fact, I did try, but no reward for my efforts was present.

    "He's alive," the voice mumbled, flabbergasted. "Okay, dude, let's get you to safety-- NNGH!!" The voice sounded aggrivated as the sound of something hitting the floor reached my ears. "Why can't I fly?!" she groaned. "Well, this sucks... Okay, dude, you're gonna have to help me out here. Can you hear me? Can you walk?"

    There was a fine line between those two.

    I tried to nod, and I did! I could feel the tension go into my neck, my head moving up and down in response.

    The individual seemed to realize her own mistake. I could hear her emmit a low chuckle. "Uhh.. Aheh. Sorry. Which one?"

    Okay, time to talk again. Just a simple 'hear.' It should be easy! One sound, one syllable.

"...Hehr," I heard myself gurgle. I was a pro at subconscious speaking.

    Wait. Did I just gurgle? Was something in my throat? She seemed to notice that, too, as she gasped.

    "...Ohh, this is bad," she whispered.

    "Wuh?" I half-mindedly slurred.

    Instead of responding, I heard the individual pace in front of me. The footsteps were irregular and had multiple hosts for the noise. She probably had more than two legs. I did, too, maybe. I didn't know what I was.

"What am I gonna do?" I heard her mumble under her breath. "I can't just drag him. I can't fly. The hospital's back in Ponyville. And he's bleeding out! Aww, buck..."

    Okay. Three things.

    First of all, Ponyville? If I could have burst out laughing, I would have. That's so stupid! It's like a colony of hampsters naming their nest Hampstertown! Or a group of humans, calling their home Man-City!

    Second of all, apparently I was bleeding out. From what? Was it because of that pole that's most undoubtedly stuck in my chest? Probably.

    Thirdly. Did she just use "buck" as a swear? Pfft. Mormons and their swearing substitutes. Everyone knows it's f--

    "Okay..." the voice stopped her rambling, resuming her conversation with me. "Hey, dude, can you hear me? Just nod if you can."

    I nodded. It was easier than before.

    "Okay... You're not gonna like this. But you have a giant hole in your chest. And for some reason I can't fly... I'm gonna have to drag you to a hospital. I could totally lift you, but I don't wanna jostle you too hard."

    Was that last part an insult or a compliment? Okay, she was either bragging about her strength or I needed to bulk up. Probably the latter. Floating around in an oblivion of nothingness can prove troublesome for exercise-- OW WHAT THE SHIT-BUCKETS?!

    What felt like a foundation of nothing suddenly burned itself down, gathered the ashes in a jar, and threw that jar off a skyscraper. This hurt! It felt like my body was a community forest, and the pain was a massive forest-fire that destroyed everything in its path! It started from the middle of my chest, the virus spreading out until my body was engulfed in an ocean of extremely salty waters.

    Just a few short moments ago I was dreaming of a body. Now I was cursing it, along with whatever could inflict so much pain! That pole should be damned to Hell!

    I heard myself let out a pathetic whimper, but it was drowned out by the sudden ringing in my ears. I felt my gums go numb as my stomach flexed, my dinner just waiting to be shot out of my mouth. I gagged, drooled, and cried as I felt grass being dragged from under my body. Or, I was being dragged over the grass. I didn't know, and I didn't care. I just wanted to throw up yesterday's dinner, lunch, and breakfast.

    The distant light turned red as it suddenly engulfed my vision. At first, it was a faint maroon and white. But after a while, it dimmed to a special sight.

    It was special because it was real. I had my vision back! I did what anyone else would have done: took in my surroundings.

    Big mistake.

    Around me were trees, a full moon over my head as it illuminated the forest I was in. In front of me was what mortified me. It was a small pool of blood, a stream connecting my body to it.

    A stream of blood! Coming from my body! How long have I been out?! More importantly, how much blood did I lose?

    This was nothing like the video games. In video games, you'd hear the main character merely groaning as impossible amounts of blood spilt from a pea-sized gun wound, the audience gasping in surprise. There's no audience in real life, and this was obviously not a petty shot to the dramatic-effect button. This was my own blood, literally spilt on the floor in front of me! How was I alive?!

    My mind became fuzzy as my head instinctively turned to the floor, my dinner, lunch, and maybe even some breakfast spewing out of my throat. The residue littered the ground below, repainting the floor from green to Peaches and Cream. All energy was sucked out of my system as my head fell to the side, no intentions of lifting it back up present.

    "Dude!" I heard from behind me. Ms. Doesn't-Know-What-This-Feels-Like obviously saw my puking experience. I grunted a response, my equivalent of saying 'You try seeing this much of your blood on the ground.'

    The pleasurable sensation most people felt after upchucking was easily drowned out by the mere shock of suddenly being the unfortunate star of a first person shooter. My blood was making a stream. That fact bounced around in my head like a tennis ball, as I was unable to think of anything else. I felt like fainting, although that would just be redundant-- I spent the last who-knows-how-long unconscious, and I was not in the mood to return to the black corners of my mind.

    "Don't faint," the voice behind me pleaded as I was dragged away, the stream of blood thankfully getting thinner the further I went. "I don't wanna do this on my own."

    Way ahead of you.

    To keep myself from dozing off, I attempted some small talk with the individual. I moved my jaw up and down, side to side, as if stretching for a work-out. Talking was equally hard, though, so it counted. With a deep breath, I focused on talking rather than my body's innards making a miniature Amazon River. I would ask a simple question first. 'What is your name?' But the barrier in my throat made itself known as my mouth failed to recognize the words my brain did.

    To my mind, I've been thinking words since I was born (whenever that is.) To my vocal chords, words were new, strange, and hard to articulate. My next sentence rang true with that last statement.

"Wuh ihs... yo nom?" I mumbled.

    I'm an idiot.

    "Huh?" the voice behind me questioned. "Y-you know what, it doesn't matter. Don't try to talk anymore, you might hurt yourself."

    So her name will remain as Ms. Doesn't-Know-What-This-Feels-Like. Gotcha.

    My mind started to dwell back into the familiar ground of unconsciousness, but I fought it back. Instead, I focused my attention on staring at the ground--

    I threw up again, emmitting a "C'mon, dude!" from behind me.

    Dammit, me. Find something else to focus on.

    My half-closed eyes slowly turned upwards. The moon was shining brightly above me, its white glow illuminating the forest as the trees blurred in and out of focus. For some unknown reason, it calmed me. The pain soon subsided as I went numb, lost in the gentle glow of the huge, white circle in the campus of black known as the night sky. I barely felt anything as my attention wasn't on the bloody grass anymore, but on the inverted dalmation coat above.

    I didn't seem to notice as the trees above thinned out. I was lost in an abyss of white. The numbness in my body spread out like an eagle's wings as my eyesight thinned.

    I heard my rescuer yelling as she set me down on the grass gently. I didn't care, though. My mind was a blank sheet of paper, the moon a hand, and its glow the pen. It was drawing a masterpiece. My head began to sway at the artist's strokes, following his masterful penmanship with a drunk-like enthusiasm. I didn't care if my tracing wasn't exact. I just wanted to follow it.

    My vision became blurry. I let a small smile cross my face as the moon's rays touched down on my face. I felt myself be picked up by more individuals, although it was only distant.

    I dozed off to the feeling of flying away.

    You know how, in most stories, when the main character faints it says the cliché, overused line 'My eyes fluttered open' when they wake? Well, I can tell you right now that is not how it works.

    This is how it really goes down. It all comes back to you, at first dully. My feelings came back before anything, and I was suddenly aware that I felt fuzzy everywhere. What felt like the thinnest blanket on the planet was over me, and I heard blurred talking. I tasted copper in my mouth, and when I opened my eyes (no, they did not flutter), my vision was blurry. I could, however see white. I also smelt chlorine, for some reason, and had no memory of what had just occured.

    After that, you enter the second stage of waking up. It all crashes down on you.

    My eyesight, hearing, taste, feeling, memory, and everything else and what felt like even more was suddenly prestine. I groaned out of shock, my ears picking up the gutteral sound perfectly. When I opened my mouth, I could taste the fresh air rush in. The chlorine in my nostrils was replaced with a slight, lemony scent. The thinnest blanket of all time instantly became an ordinary, cotton-made sheet as my eyes picked up my surroundings. I was in a hospital bed, a curtain on both sides of me. And then came the pain.

    The forest fire from earlier had been put out, but it was still smoking. My body held a dull soreness now, contrasted greatly from my previously out of control pain. Was I on some sort of drug, fencing off the fire coming from my chest?

    My chest.

    I tried to throw my arm across the sheets, to pull them off, but I lost all control of the apendage the moment my shoulder flexed. My body was now an ice cube, panic instantly flooding my system tumultuously. Was I paralyzed?

    I heard myself whimpering, and instantly cut it out. I knew that I should go slowly. With hesitance, I lifted my arm an inch from the sheets. It complied, and I was tempted to dash forward with it, but I knew sudden movements were now restricted to my thoughts. I slowly levitated my arm above the bed, its movement like a ghost. That was when it came into my vision.

    It was a furry, peach-colored, cartoonish hoof.

    ...I honestly didn't know what to expect. I had a knowledge of what things were, and what words meant, but absolutely nothing beyond that-- my own species included. I was a newborn in this new life, yet I hosted an experienced mind.

    To my surprise, I had feelings in my fingers. Curious, I moved my thumb. Nothing changed on the hoof, making me wonder if I truly did have fingers, and if so if they were just invisible. I curled my index finger, which made the hoof turn downwards. Finally, I curved my pinkie. The hoof tilted to the left.

    I had three, invisible fingers under a furry hoof. Curious.

    I did some more finger exercises, stretching and bending them so the hoof above moved in various places. It was weird, but at the same time, natural. My body was a long-forgotten house, and this was my first visit, only to remember this was where I grew up.

    I planted a hoof on the edge of the sheets (it looked as if the fur was just wrapping around it), grasping the blanket. I briefly examined the way my hoof curled around the sheet before lifting it. From someone else's view, it could easily qualify as breaking the laws of physics-- lifting an object with a hoof, no opposable thumbs in sight. But they were there.

    I lifted the covers from my body, slowly and carefully. I had to tilt my head (which was quite large) so I could peer at my torso.

    I was wearing a gray-green hospital gown. The pain was coming from under the gown, obviously, so I pulled my collar forward to peer down at the source of the pain.

    It was all I could do to keep from painting the bed Peaches and Cream.

    In the center of my chest was an ugly scar, patched up by so many stitches I lost count after two hundred. The blackness of the wound could still be visible, between the two wrinkled sides of fur. Besides that, I got a good look at my left arm, which had various tubes leading into it. The clear plastic which the tubes were made of revealed red liquid flowing in and out of my body, courtesy of a machine standing on what looked like a metal coat rack next to me.

    Add all of that, mixed with the pain of having to flex a part of my body which had a hole straight through it, and you've got a recipe for a new paint job for the floor. As I was leaning over the bed, my mouth opening and gums numbing, I heard a door open from behind the curtain to the right of my bed. I shakily swallowed the bile in my throat, unwanting to experience such grotesque first impressions. Hoofsteps were heard as the individual's hooves clopped down on the tile floor, making its way to me.

    I drunkily pulled my head back up, the effort making me groan.

    The curtain beside me was pulled aside. Once again, I didn't know what to expect. Standing beside me was a cartoonish, white pony, wearing a medic cap. She actually looked quite human, considering her species. Her head was considerably large compared to her body, cyan blue, large eyes peering at me. She even had a clipboard in hoof, once again breaking the laws of physics as she balanced her body on three legs. Not only that, I kid you not, but she also had eyelashes.

    That was it. I knew where I was. Ponyville, the capital of stupid names.

    "Hello," she greeted pleasantly. "My name is Nurse Redheart. You're my new patient, via the Ponyville Hospital." She held her clipboard up to her face, standing on her hindlegs to lift a pencil up to it. It was actually quite adorable. "I have you down for a deep laceration on your infrasternal notch and dorsum. My colleagues have already stitched up your wound, don't worry. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a look at it."

    I nodded, waiting patiently. Redheart walked up to beside me, dropping to all fours to walk, the pencil clacking against the floor with each step. She stopped beside me. "May I?" she asked, gesturing to the covers.

    I felt a little insecurity of having a stranger see me in a state like this, but this was a doctor after all. It took a lot more effort than I thought to sit up. I had to plant my forehooves firmly in the bed, pulling myself into a sitting position. My chest was instantly sore from the effort, making my breath quicken.

    "Take it easy," Nurse Redheart advised. "You'll feel a little queasy at first. It's all normal. Take this." She handed me a plastic bag, which had the word "Bile" inscripted on it. How comforting.

    I groaned as I pushed my legs over the bedside, something itchy scraping against my backside. I looked behind myself to see that I had a brown-colored, bushy tail. I flicked it out of recognition, and figured it was something to hold onto if things got painful. After placing the bile bag to the side, I flicked my tail forward, grabbing it with my hooves.

    "Don't worry. I'm a professional," Redheart chuckled as she leaned forward, pulling down my gown so it was now a pile on my lap. She peered at my injury, not even flinching at its grotesque form. I suspected she's seen much worse. She put her hooves on my shoulders, gently rotating my torso and leaning in so she could get a good view at my back. She spent some time back there before returning to her original spot, writing something on her clipboard.

    I leaned forward to check what it was. That's how I figured out I couldn't read.

    "What can I call you?" Redheart questioned, her pencil in hoof.

    Was she asking for my name? Oh, great. I didn't even know the first letter! As a solution, I stared at her awkwardly. After a few seconds, she glanced up at me, an eyebrow raised. "Your name, Sir."

    I had to tell the truth. She was a nurse-- her job was to help me. Maybe she could even tell me what to do now? No, that was wishful thinking. For now, I'll just be honest and see where it gets me.

    Great. Time to speak. I hesitated, hearing a low whimper in my throat again. I wanted to kill that thing.

    Nurse Redheart got a different message as she looked up to me, smiling sympathetically. After writing something down on her clipboard, of course. "Hey, don't worry. I know you might be confused, or scared. But I'm here to help. Please tell me your name?"

    Okay, that was adorable. She definitely deserved a winning attempt. I looked her straight in the eye, and I spoke. "Ey dunu."

    Redheart tilted her head. Meanwhile, I was thinking of how much I'd like that spear now, so I can end this humiliation.

    I cleared my throat, my eyes not leaving hers. With my hooves, I gestured to myself. "Ai," I sounded out, pulling my hooves to my chest. "Domt." I shook my head slowly. "Noe." I tapped my noggin. My hoof came in contact with what I guessed to be a mane.

    Nurse Redheart wrote something down on her clipboard before looking back up to me. "...You don't know?" she implied. I nodded vigorously, before another idea came to mind.

    "Ai cumt speekt vur wil," I said, before realization hit once again.

    "Excuse me?" Redheart asked, giving me a confused look.

    I pointed to myself. "Aie." I shook my head. "Campt." I opened my mouth, pointing to it. "Speek." I didn't know what to gesture when it came to 'very well.' Luckily, though, the nurse caught on. Her hoof shifted to her clipboard, scribbling something down once again.

    "So, you don't know your name, and you can't speak very well?" she deduced. I nodded, before pointing to my head.

    "Noe memrie."

    Nurse Redheart knew what I said instantly, which was an achievement. "You have no memory, either." She put her clipboard down on the desk beside me, holding a hoof in front of her face. "Please keep your eyes on the hoof." She slowly shifted it to the right. Confused but dedicated, my eyes followed as she also moved it left, down, up, and diagonal. She wrote something on her clipboard.

    "So, you're not drunk, or on any hallusive drugs," she acknowledged. "Yet you slur when you talk, have no memory, and you don't know your name. Alright, Sir. Let's work our way backwards. Do you remember how you got your wounds, at least?"

    I wasn't completely sure, but I was sure enough to nod my head. "Uh pul ou sumtheen." Without waiting for the tilt of her head, I elaborated. "A pole," I said slowly, making a straight line with my hoof. "A pole... stabd mu." I mimed something sharp going through my chest, feigning pain. "...an wend ou thuh ofur sid." I gestured to my back.

    "So, you're saying a pole ran you through?" Redheart looked at me for a while, before turning away, deep in thought. "You have no memory of your past or your name. You can't speak well. You're not drunk. And you were stabbed with a pole..." She turned back to look at me. "Are you lying to me? That is a federal offense."

    "Noe!" I defended myself. I was starting to panic now.

    Nurse Redheart rolled her eyes, sighing. "I'll get somepony else to work with you." She started to make her way from out of the room, before there was sudden whispering behind the door. They only lasted for a second, however, as the door opening acted as a mute button.

    "Nurse Redheart," a voice spoke from behind the curtain. I recognized it as the voice who saved me earlier. Redheart also recognized it, although her face showed surprise as she saw the pony in the doorway.

    "Rainbow Dash, I am in the middle of a procedure," Redheart informed.

    "He really was stabbed through!" Dash exclaimed as she trotted to Redheart. I got a good look at her-- she was a cyan pony with a rainbow mane and tail, along with maroon irises. She also had feathered wings.

    I pretty much quit expecting anything by now.

    Nurse Redheart sighed, looking at me. "Rainbow Dash, I'm afraid that's just not true. He would be dead if it was. A pony simply cannot survive a wound that destroys so many vital organs."

    "Listen, you're a doctor, you do your job well, and I respect you," Rainbow Dash said. "But I carried this stallion through the Everfree, and he did have a hole through his body! I can take you to the spot I found him, if you want-- you wouldn't believe how much blood there was! He left a pool, and a stream. A regular pony can't lose that much and survive, but he did."

    In the hallway, I heard a feminine sputter as the host held back puking. I sympathized with her.

    "Miss Rainbow Dash, you know I can't believe you," Nurse Redheart sighed. "I respect you as a mare, and I know what you've done for him, but I must ask you to leave."

    "Wai..." I said shakily. The two mares looked at me. "Le' er stey... Plees. She cun cont as mai viziter."

    The two mares seemed to understand what I was saying. Rainbow Dash looked into Redheart's eyes firmly but respectfully. The Nurse returned her gaze, before sighing.

    "Hear me out," Rainbow Dash stated. "I know that you don't believe me, and I respect that, but I am telling the truth when I tell you this. He had a hole through his chest."

    Nurse Redheart didn't seem convinced as she retorted. That was when an idea presented itself. It would be stupid and extremely painful if it was done wrong, but it'd prove Rainbow Dash right. Plus, I kind of wanted to see if Redheart had seen anything like what I was about to show her.

    As the two mares were in deep conversation, I brought my hooves up to my stitches. It was quite difficult getting a hold of the string without the luxury of seeing my fingers, but I eventually had a good grip on the end of it. I bit on the nearest thing to me (my tail) as I pulled it through. It felt like a worm traveling through wet soil, the garden heaving in pain. I pulled for what felt like way too short of a time, before my hoof pulled away from the hole, string in toe.

    A sinkhole opened up in the garden. I gasped out of the excruciation of having air rush through the innards of my body, the stench of decay instantly filling my nostrils. I panted out of pain, but it felt as if a barrier was blocking out the breath. I had to take quick gasps of precious oxygen, suddenly worried that I'd drown in the air around me.

    However, I wasn't done. I reached back with both hooves, undoing the stitches. The stretching of skin opened up the hole in my chest, more fresh air hugging the sensitive muscle. For what must've been the hundredth time of the day, I whimpered.

    Nurse Redheart heard me. She turned to me from her conversation with Rainbow Dash, her eyes widening out of shock. "What are you doing?" she shrieked, dashing to the side of my bed.

    I pulled the string, bringing a new meaning of pain to the dictionary. Now, Redheart could see perfectly through the hole in my chest, and the wall behind me. Rainbow Dash also stared. I puffed my chest out, my body shaking with the extreme soreness which attacked my system.

    Nurse Redheart took a moment to finally gain her bearings, swearing under her breath. "Celestia-damned idiot..."

    I didn't know what to expect.

    Nurse Redheart seemed to stare at nothing in particular as she turned away. For a long while, she said nothing, before turning back. "I'll get my colleagues to stitch you back up again." With that, she walked out of the room.

    I was left alone with Rainbow Dash, her eyes just as wide as before. I smiled sheepishly. "Sheh noes noaw."

    "What the buck were you thinking?" Rainbow Dash breathed, stumbling to the side, as if about to faint. But she caught herself almost immediately, giving me a stare. "...You should be dead."

    "Ai'm juss az comfoods," I admitted.

    Rainbow Dash nickered under her breath, but that was the last of her humor. She gave me a firm look, her maroon irises glaring into my own. "Who are you, truly?"

    I looked away. "Ai dunno."

    Rainbow Dash shook her head slowly, trotting behind the curtain. "Listen, Dude. I appreciate you proving me right, but I was fine the way I was. You pretty much broke the laws of biological physics, so I'm not exactly 'inclined' to believe you're just another pony. You need to be truthful with me."

    Great. Now Rainbow Dash thought I was lying. I really wanted a nice, long nap right now.

    Rainbow trotted back to my bed, carrying a desk mirror in her mouth. She sat it on the foot of my bed. "Okay, dude. I just witnessed you tear a hole through your chest to prove me right in a disagreement with a nurse. There's something wrong with that mind of yours, obviously. But there's no way you can forget your own name." She tilted the mirror so it was pointed at me. "This should ring a bell."

    For the first time in my short-lengthed memories, I saw myself. However, I wasn't looking at my face or body, I was too busy staring at the red-lined hole in my chest, the pillow's whiteness clearly shining through. I knew that vomiting would not only be painful, but also repetitive, so I held it in.

    For some ungodly reason, I was still alive without a heart!

    I already knew about the injury, and had seen the front for myself, but this was an entirely different sight. To see the pillow behind me, through my own body. A lethal part at that.

    I instantly felt nausea, fatigue, and guilt. Guilt for letting the poor Nurse Redheart see an injury like this, especially when it goes against her entire life's work.

    "I know the injury's ugly, but I'm asking you to look at yourself. See if you can recognize yourself."

    I nodded numbly, my gaze turning to the stallion in the mirror. But I couldn't look away from it. The hole in my chest was a magnet, my pupils the metal. The rest of my body was a balloon, bouncing my gaze away when I tried to look at myself. I did something that was becoming a habit.

    You guessed it. I whimpered.

    I wanted to reach into that hole and pull out my voice box. Honestly, I was angry. I guess I was always furious at this horrible day, but that final, gutteral sound lit the fuse.

    Why was it so hard to talk?! Why wasn't I dead?! Why did I have a lethal hole in my chest?! I was going to ask why this was happening, but the words caught in my throat as my pathetic mouth had to articulate the foreign words slowly.

"W-wai iz.." I started, but never finished. The anger spiraled out of control from my damaged heart, touching my limbs. They had an instant reaction, my arm jolting up and back handing the closest thing to me. I heard a metallic clang, the machine to my left slamming to the floor violently. As it clattered to a stop, my rant wasn't over. "Wai iz fis hapnin?" I spat. My own voice angered me.

    Rainbow Dash flinched at the velocity of my hit. I was still panting out anger when something warm dribbled down my chest. I looked down to see that the hole in my chest was bleeding, the thick liquid dribbling my fur red and leaving a serpentine streak down my body. Even that angered me.

    The door behind the curtain swung open, hoofsteps exploding inside.

    "What's happening?!" an unfamiliar, feminine voice questioned. Rainbow Dash gave the host of the voice a look, smiling sadly.

    "...He's just angry," Rainbow Dash answered. "Everything's fine."

    You bitch.

    Another voice spoke up. Hers was a lot more quiet, but rang with earnest concern. "We heard a crashing sound... Are you sure everything's alright?"

    "Yeah," Dash nodded, glancing to me. I glared back. "Sorry about that. The Nurse should be coming back by now, though. We should leave."

    There was murmered agreement, followed by the sound of the ponies exiting the room. Rainbow Dash picked the mirror up with her left wing as she trotted to the damaged machine, balancing it back on its feet. There was a dent on its side. Dash then put the mirror in a drawer on the desk beside me.

    "Sorry," she murmered, before trotting away. "I should've given you some more time to recover. Maybe another time, huh?"

    I looked away. Dash sighed as she trotted out of the room, the door closing behind her. That was redundant, however, as the door opened moments later. More hoofsteps clampered in the room. I merely looked down as Nurse Redheart and her companions filed in, surrounding my bed.

    The other two nurses, one a stallion and the other a mare, both stopped dead as they saw my injury. Nurse Redheart snapped them out of their trance with a clap of her hooves. "Let's get to work," she commanded, trotting to me. She held up a muzzle-piece, made of some sort of thin fabric. It was plated with some kind of a clear metal, probably made for protecting it from the constant face plants with the ground it had when the holder trotted. "Hold still, Sir," she informed me, putting her hoof on my forehead and placing the muzzle-piece on mine. She retrieved a glass container with a dropping cap on the top, pinkish liquid sloshing as its tip was placed on the muzzle piece. Redheart gave it a tap with what I was sure was an invisible thumb, before a single drop fell on the fabric of the muzzle-piece. Instantly afterwards, I felt mist on my snout. My mind numbed.

    "You're going to feel a little tired," Redheart said gently, giving me a reassuring look. True to her word, I felt my eyelids grow heavy. "We're just going to stitch you up again. This time, don't rip it out to prove me wrong in some unnecessary argument."

    Meanwhile, one of the doctor's horn glowed momentarily, before flickering and dying. She gasped, tried again, and failed. "My magic won't work," she complained, tapping her horn.

    "Are you... sick?" her partner asked as he pulled on some medical gloves. Or socks, from the way they were worn.

    The mare shook her head, genuinely confused. Focusing back on Redheart's request, I nodded half-mindedly, the world blackening as, for the third time of the day, I lost consciousness.

    I dreamt of cyan birds catching on fire and dying slowly.

    Fuck Rainbow Dash.

II: Puppets in the Wind

    What makes a nightmare?

    We've all had them, and we all know what they are: dreams that you abruptly wake up from, your sheets soaking up a little more moisture than last time you checked. Or maybe you're the person to awaken in a cold sweat, fearing for your life? Or the one who wakes up screaming, perhaps. However, I'm asking just what makes a nightmare a nightmare.

    All dreams are full of emotion-- that's what makes them dreams. Are all nightmares full of fear-- an emotion in itself? Is fear not an emotion, but a mindset? Or do you not even have to be scared for it to be a nightmare?

    My case was the latter. I wasn't scared, yet it was the most horrific dream I have ever experienced in my life. The moment Nurse Redheart put me to sleep, to the mercy of her assistants' needles and threads, I was gone.

    It started off simple. The average nightmare starter: sounds of screaming. This was the part where you'd normally start the emotional rollar coaster of a night terror. But that wasn't the case for me.

    I liked it.

    The screamings, although they started grotesque, soon morphed into a beautiful, calm lullaby. So beautiful, in fact, that it might have made me cry, if I was capable of such a thing. With some effort of opening my eyes, I found myself in an endless abyss of pink.

"Don't look, little pony of ours," the voices all sang to me with parent-like love. It was the screams, morphed to sound like someone talking. "It'll all be over soon, their limbs will be fed to you. Now, look at their faces. Oh, how they scream!

"Such a peaceful sound. They can't use their arms for evil any more, or their legs to run from the concequences. But this is no sight for you. So don't look, little pony of ours.

"But now they are yelling ever-so offensive insults. We simply can't have those words in our little house, now can we? Let's pluck out their teeth, one by one, before feeding it to themselves...

"Ahh, the pain they're feeling. But the fun hasn't even started, my child! We must bite their tongues off. But this is no sight for you to see. So take my warning and don't look, little pony of ours."

    Their voices rang with a rythemic tune. I felt calm as I heard their loving melody, a feeling of warmth traveling up my body. The ice of sanity melted away, a better form being revealed. To show that I had changed, I cut my right hoof off. It wasn't painful. It wasn't even uncomfortable. It was calming. Now, I couldn't sin like the rest of those ponies.

"Don't look, little pony of ours. For we must plunge our faces into their filthy maws. But do not worry. When we are done, they will taste everything.

"The deed is done. They aren't screaming anymore. They can only gurgle. This is good. You can spit in their blood to cleanse them."

    I opened my mouth, saliva drooling from my open maw. It was mixed with oil, but I couldn't care less. I was giving my life for a good cause.

"Don't look now, little pony of ours, but you have saved us all. They are now burning to ashes. This is good. You can use them as spice for your next meal.

"But who are we kidding? We all know you are already dead. You have no lungs, after all. So, we will now abandon you to this new home of yours.

"Do not hold a grudge against us. We are only here to help. Now, don't look little pony of ours, but we will now leave."

    I felt a crisp, warm breeze run through my fur before opening my eyes. I was in a hospital room, which was on fire. The flames crawled up to the ceiling in a slow, peaceful fashion as the ground was turned to ash before my eyes. My bed was aflame below, which encouraged my eyes to lower. I held up my hooves, but only came across two burnt, fleshy bones which shook violently. Curiosity taking me for keeps, I sniffed the disfigured appendage. Crispy.

    I took a bite. It tasted quite good-- although a bit chewy when I reached the muscles. I swallowed, savoring the texture of my flesh as it traveled down my throat.

    A cool breeze attacked my firey pleasure. I hissed, baring my fangs at the abomination which assaulted me so. It was a pony, horribly, perfectly fine. I spat at the pony's hooves. I wanted nothing to do with a petty "friend." Friends were good. And good things are only destined to rot in Hell.

    I levitated off of the hospital bed, spitting some more at the pony. I spat for so long, and for so hard, I ran out of saliva. Unwilling to stop my disrespect, I bit off bits of my tongue to spit at the abomination of a pony. After a small pool of saliva and gore was appropriately spilt across the floor in front of the pony, I steadily turned myself around, eying the window in the back of my room.

    "Don't do it," the pony spoke. It was neither male or female. It was, after all, an abomination. "Don't make us both happy."

    I tried to spit, but there was no saliva to shoot, no tongue to bite. So instead, I bit off a chunk of my furry arm. It tasted like a warm peach, so I decided to keep it to myself. The pony didn't deserve to have something that tasted this good. I swallowed the chunk of gore, before turning back to the window.

    I tilted my head. The window shattered at my command. Smiling, I levitated myself toward it, before I sat myself upon the frame. Broken glass embedded itself in my backside, but I didn't care. I didn't feel it.

    I looked at the hundred story drop. The ground was blood red, courtesy of the millions of others who killed themselves with this method. I didn't want to keep them lonely.

    So, I jumped. I'm not one for painful deaths, so I went headfirst. My forehead was bare, just waiting for the hard concrete to split the skull. I closed my eyes at the sight of the oncoming floor, ready to be reunited with my brothers.

    Did it count as a nightmare?

    I didn't feel any fear throughout. But then again, I didn't feel any emotion. So it wasn't a dream. But if it wasn't a dream, or a nightmare, what was it?

    I awoke to a dark hospital room.

    I didn't know what to think. I remembered the dream (or nightmare?) perfectly. The taste of peaches was still in my mouth as I sat up in the darkness, my chest hosting nothing but a dull, extremely itchy soreness.

    The window in front of me said it was midnight, but my brain said it was noon. To my dismay, the moon was out of sight, undoubtedly above the window's view. I missed the artist, the pony in the moon, but I knew it was just out of sight. If I just leaned out of the window, I would once again be subjected to its peaceful rays.

    I steadily draped my legs over the bedside, hooves clanking on the floor. I wasn't worried anypony would notice me; I wasn't doing anything of mal behaviors, after all. I just wanted to see the moon again. So, I hopped off the bed.

    My forehead becoming good friends with the floor was my reward. I groaned, shakily moving my front hooves below me, before pushing up. My legs were twigs in the nonexistent wind, but after a few seconds of strain, I eventually stood. I trotted to the window.

    It wasn't hard to walk-- it came naturally, and as soon as my legs recognized my actions, they obeyed. I fell only once, at the very first step, but I recovered easily. I felt the blood fill my leg muscles after some time, as if it was a warm drink being poured into a cup. I obviously hadn't walked, or even stood on all fours, for a long time.

    I arrived at the door frame, slid my hooves under the window, and gently pulled it up. A crisp, cool breeze was my reward as the outside became clear: a black sky sprinkled with beautiful, white dots, gray clouds blocking some out. I felt myself smiling at the sight of night.

    However, night itself wasn't the reason I was here. It was its passenger which I wanted, the giant, white sphere beckoning me. I complied, leaning out the window. Instantly, the cool breeze engulfed my torso. My injury itched more, although that was the least of my worries.

    I saw the floor below being illuminated by a white light above. Knowing what it was, I looked up hopefully. The only reward for my efforts was a disappointing sight.

    A cloud was blocking out the moon. It wasn't big, and just thin enough for some light to purtrue from its body. I could barely see the moon.

    The cool breeze couldn't mask the sudden anger which engulfed me. My last rage was a cluster of furious thoughts and feelings, but this one was one simple question.

"Why won't that damn cloud move?!"

    I don't know what came over me, but I started to focus. It only lasted for about a second before my hoof instinctively shot forward, coming down quickly. When I looked back up, the cloud was gone, giving away to the moon in all of its shining glory.

    ...What. The. Hell.

    I sat, dumbfounded. For a few seconds, I didn't budge an inch. Did I just...?

    I extended my hoof again, aiming at another cloud. It felt as if I had control over it; like it was an extra limb which I could control with my mind. I didn't have to focus hard, I just had to imagine I was holding it. Its cotton candy-like texture was instantly felt on my hooves. Just as a test, I tilted my hoof.

    The cloud tilted with it.

What! The! Hell!

    I moved my arm to the side. The cloud dashed over to follow it. I spread out my three invisible fingers. It devided into three little puff balls, floating in the sky. It was my puppet now.

    Did these ponies have telekinesis?

    ...Freaking. Awesome.

    My hoof dropped to my lap, although my brain held firm. I pulled the strings a little, bending and shaping my puppet into my best interpretation of a frog. I heard myself chuckling at the crude sky-drawing. I was smiling as I changed it from a frog to a bird. Then, a hampster.

    How was this possible?

    Don't know, don't care! I was enjoying myself, for the first time in my day-old life! I now knew magic existed in Ponyville. Turns out this little town wasn't so bad, despite its rediculous name.

    An idea coming to mind, I collected a few of the other clouds, mashing them together to form an amalgamation of fuzz, shaped like an elephant. My brain was just getting used to this new discovery, so naturally I had trouble with the narrow points. However, I was proud of the cloudy animal.

    I looked up to the moon. It peered down at me calmly, almost avuncular. I decided to give it a little reward for its calming methods for when I first came to. I carried the clouds over to the moon, holding both my hooves out for increased precision.

    I tilted my head. The clouds rotated into each other, before slowing to a stop in a cylindrical form. I placed the clouds right in front of the moon, making a perfect hole so it could shin through brightly.

    Without warning, I heard something which sounded kind of like a mix between a squeak and a rubber chew toy. Realizing it came from my own mouth, or in this case grin, I paniced.

    What the Hell was that?! What, is this some sort of vocal chord infection? Who does that kind of noise? It's horrifying!

    Wait, why am I suddenly falling?

    Somewhere, in my panic, I leaped forward.

    So, not only was I an idiot when it came to talking, I was also a complete dumbass when I wasn't even doing anything!

    It happened slowly. First, I looked down to see that I was plummeting, face first, three stories high. After that, I realized just how screwed I was. Then, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

    Just one day after I wake up from a sleep which lasted who-knows-how-long, I'm dead! I had, in every aspect, royally shoved a cactus up my ass. I am fucked! All because I wanted to do some dumb little art project in the air!

    I was still screaming.

    Honestly, how stupid can a pony be?! If I had just stayed indoors, and just tried to go asleep again, I wouldn't be plummeting to my death right now! Oh man, what mutation of a name will they put on my gravestone?

    I was still screaming.

    I died without even knowing my name! Celestia-dammit, why did I do this?! Those bucking clouds! Making me their smiling, artistic bitch!

    I was... still screaming?

    My violent thought process ended with my fall. My screaming slowly subsided, looking down to see the ground, just in front of my face. It wasn't launching towards my head, just laying there. I slowly looked to my side. The sidewalk extended to a small village around me, the inhabitants sleeping within.

    I was floating.

    My breath grew coarse as I suddenly realized what was happening. My brain started to grow sore from the output of lifting my own weight. Without paying heed to anything around me, I laid a hoof on the cement, before lowering all four to the floor. After I knew I was safe, I let go of myself. I stood there, numb, for what seemed like minutes, but felt like hours before something warm dribbled down my lips.

    I reached a hoof up, rubbed it against my mouth, and extended it to see that my nose was bleeding. My brain also hurt as I shakily put the hoof down. It was a signal for my invisible muscle to stop working, and I complied.

    It was then I felt myself grinning.

"...Gyh!"

    My body transformed into an ice cube at the sound of that voice. I knew exactly who it was. Moments after the fatigued grunt, there was the sound of a body hitting the floor. I cringed, shakily turning around to see an unconscious Nurse Redheart, laying on the paved road from raw shock.

    Whelp. Shit. Apparently not all ponies have telekinetic powers.

    That morning, I awoke to the sound of the door to my room swinging open, hoofsteps exploding my way, and a very traumatized Nurse Redheart stopping at the foot of my bed to stare at me. I mentally prepped myself as I channeled my best acting skills, still feigning sleep. Hopefully, the plan I devised last night had worked.

    Through my extremely narrowed eyelids, I saw the nurse stare at me for what seemed like fifteen minutes straight. Then, she turned away, deep in thought. I couldn't breath a sigh of relief, however, as she resumed her stare almost instantly afterwards. She was most likely contemplating whether or not last night was a dream. Hopefully, the spot where I had put her had worked in making her think it was just that.

    Nurse Redheart gave me a look before disappearing around the curtain. I didn't dare breath, however, as she came back holding a stool. With a wooden clank, she plopped the stool down beside my bed. Behind my back, I heard her stay silent for a long while, before speaking.

    "I do have a house of my own, you know that right?" she deadpanned. I felt the blood rush from my head like a vacuum. "I have my own bed, too. So why did you think putting me in a hospital bed, right next door to your room, would help?"

    I clenched my eyes shut. I didn't know why she was talking to me this way-- magic existed here, didn't it?! What was she going to do?

    Nurse Redheart bounced her hoof on my bed, jostling me. "I know you're awake. Let's chat about just what happened last night."

    I cringed one last time, taking a breath. There was no way I was getting myself out of this one. And...

    Celestia-dammit, I whimpered again! I didn't know much about myself, but now I knew I was an emotional wreck. It was a wonder I wasn't a mare.

    "Talk to me," I heard Nurse Redheart command. There was authority in her voice, reigning supreme over any opposition I had.

    "...Ai thot... magik exceested herr," I finally whispered.

    Nurse Redheart didn't respond. I wished I could melt away to liquid and be absorbed by the bed I was in. Or maybe I could use my brain powers to fling myself out the window? I'd surely die at this height.

    "...You really don't remember anything, don't you?"

    I didn't expect her to say that.

    I slowly turned to Redheart. Her eyes were fastidious, her mouth a thin line. I never thought I'd think this, but the pony in front of me, who had a medical hat, a human face, and eyelashes, was actually intimidating.

    "Ai dunt," I confirmed.

    Nurse Redheart's cyan irises seemed to be glued to my own. She hosted a poker face for some time, before looking down. "I don't know where you're from, and now I know you don't either. But earth ponies do not have magical capabilities, anywhere." She peered up at me. It wasn't a glare, but a genuinely concerned gaze. "Most ponies would... overreact if they saw what happened last night. Trust me when I tell you to not tell anypony."

    I let a low chuckle escape my mouth as I looked up at the ceiling. "Nuponee wul beleev me. Dey hav a habitt uv dat."

    That seemed to stir feelings. "I'm sorry for not believing you earlier," Nurse Redheart admitted. "But you really can't blame me. I mean, a pony who doesn't remember anything? Not even his name? I thought you were on drugs at first." I smiled, glancing her way. She hopped off her stool. "I'll make it up to you. It might take some time, but I can help you get your voice back."

    I didn't control it, and I barely felt it, but my ears perked up. The feeling alien to me, I jerked them back down.

    I said my best thank you as Nurse Redheart trotted away. However, before she could exit, she looked back at me. "Don't do your... thing when I'm gone."

    At least I wasn't the only one who wasn't good with words.

    Nurse Redheart left. Instantly afterwards, I felt giddy. Not only was I going to learn to speak better, but I was also alone-- I could practice my "thing." Redheart didn't truly know how gentle I could be with it-- I had, after all, lifted myself.

    I eyed the machine to my left. The plastic tubes which were formerly in my left arm were now strung up upon its clip, holstered. I grabbed it with my telekinetic arm, but it was noticeably harder to hold than the clouds, or myself for that matter. It was heavier, although more fragile. The skinny stem trembled in my grasp as I held on.

    I lifted it from the ground. It was trembling, as if from fear of my power. I strained to keep it steady. My invisible muscle was struggling now, which encouraged me to wonder if I was really "all that powerful."

    That was when I noticed the dent in the machine, courtesy of my outburst yesterday. I sighed.

    I really didn't have any right to lash out like that. Hopefully, Rainbow Dash would come and see me again. I didn't even thank her for saving me!

    Well, next time when she comes, I'll be more hospitable. Along with this machine. I attempted to bend it back in place.

    The tall metal stem instantly snapped in half as the bipod launched across the room, crashing against the far wall. It landed in a bent, cluttered mess on the tile floor, screeching out as if in pain. Turns out I was straining earlier, not because it was too heavy, but because I was too powerful. My ears flopped down to my skull.

    "...Shit," I said out loud. That word was all too easy to pronunciate.

    I heard hoofsteps cluttering down the hall, just outside my door. I panicked, throwing my hoof out to the destroyed machine. It reacted instantly, slamming against the wall again. It left a dent.

    "Damnit!" I grunted. The hoofsteps screeched to a stop outside my door. As the doorknob was turning, I was throwing my hoof up. The machine launched up to the ceiling, glued to the top of my room.

    The door swung open, Nurse Redheart sprinting inside. Various cards were in her mouth as she threw the curtains aside, giving away to me, feigning calm in my bed.

"WHRMM HMMMPMMD HMM?" she questioned. I gave her a confused look. She ripped the cards from her mouth. "What the Hell happened?! I heard a crash."

    I swallowed, hard. I even heard the nervous sound effect emminating from my throat. I couldn't glance up at the smoldering mess of a (most undoubtedly extremely expensive) machine, as that would give it away. Instead, I told my best bluff yet. "...Aye fel."

    Nurse Redheart didn't calm down in the slightest, her glare unwavering. I looked down at the cards in her hoof, thinking of changing the subject. "...Wat arr thoze?"

    As a response, Nurse Redheart looked around the room. Thankfully, she didn't bother to tilt her head up in the slightest. Redheart put the cards back in her mouth to trot beside my bed, pull up the stool, and sit on it. Her eyes suspicious, she glared at me for quite some time. I prayed to whatever god there was that she couldn't really tell what I was thinking by looking into my eyes.

    Nurse Redheart grabbed the card stack from her mouth, laying them face down on her lap. "I can help with your pronunciation problems. Do you know what a flash card is?"

    I nodded. Please tell me I wasn't sweating.

    "Okay," Nurse Redheart showed me the first card, face-on. I recognized the picture as a fence, although there was something scribbled in black ink below it. I tilted my head. "Read this," she said.

    I blinked. "...Ai campt reed."

    Redheart facehoofed. "Great," she mumbled. "Just great..."

    I quickly cast a glance at the floating machine on the other side of the room. It was completely still, mimicking my own self. I turned my gaze back to Nurse Redheart just as her hoof lowered to her lap. "Okay... Can you at least tell me what the picture is?"

    I concentrated. "...Venz."

    Nurse Redheart shook her head. "Soft s. Go easy on that f, too. Say it like this: Fence."

    I was never great at multi-tasking. Or, at least, I knew now. I focused on my pronunciation, although my brain was split between my wording and the floating machine just across the room.

    "Vvv... ffenz," I sounded out.

    Nurse Redheart shook her head again. "Fence."

    I grinded my teeth. "Fenzz."

    "Fence. Make an s sound, not a z."

    I frowned, cencentrating. "Vense."

    "You messed the f up again."

    "Machine."

    "Excuse me?"

    I felt my ears perk up, and my pupils shrink. "F-...Fence!"

    Nurse Redheart, after giving me a suspicious look, placed the card at the back of the stack. "We'll come back to that one. Now, what's this?"

    It was a fireplace. Great. Three syllables, as if I was ready for that yet.

    I felt some heat on my telekinetic muscle. But I couldn't look now; Redheart's eyes were right ontop of mine. "...Do yu dink... Aye am redie for... dat?"

    Redheart peered over her hooves, seeing the object in question. I seized the chance, glancing up to the machine.

    It was smoking.

    Nurse Redheart was talking when I looked back at her. "Yeah, it seems okay. It might look long, but it's only four sounds. Try your best."

    I blinked slowly, concentrating. "...Foireplas."

    "Not even close. Get rid of that Manestralian accent and try again."

    I shuffled, trying my best not to look at the smoke stack right across the room. "Fayur... plaze."

    "Again."

    I shut my eyes, straining. "...Faireplaze."

    "Better. Keep trying."

    "Fiyer..." I zoned out, my eyes sliding to the smoking mess' location. Could it start a fire..?

    "Fire what?"

    "Plase!" I finished, snapping out of it. My mind became warm as the machine followed its lead. I felt the sudden urge to pant.

    "Good enough. We'll come back to it." Nurse Redheart flipped to the next card. It was a hospital. Who was I, a major in pronunciation?

    My brain hurt. I rubbed my temples gingerly, hearing myself sniff just before it felt as if someone put Pop Rocks in my ears. Something warm dribbled down from my nose.

    Couldn't I just set the damn thing down somewhere?! I groaned out of frustration.

    "Sir?" Nurse Redheart started. I looked her way, eyelids half closed. She reacted instantly, not waisting any time to jump out of her stool, before running to behind the curtain. I looked after her, confused, before looking down.

    What looked like a steady stream of blood was running down from my nose, splattering my covers red. I raised a hoof up, rubbing my nostrils. It came back into view with a new, red paint job.

    Nurse Redheart trotted back to my side, before holding several tissues up to my nose with a now gloved (or socked) hoof. They soaked up the red waters greedily, making Redheart have to switch out the tissues for another, then another, then another.

    "Celestia-dammit, what did you do?" she scolded.

    My response was letting go of my grip. A metallic crash sounded just behind the nurse, encouraging her to yelp out of surprise, jumping. I blinked woozily.

    Was that machine always on fire?

    "Why am I always in these situations?" Nurse Redheart complained, glaring at the fire as she was stuck on caring for me. She handed me the tissues. "Use these."

    And with that, she dashed out of the room. I sat there, dumbfounded.

    By now, it was evident that the nosebleed was an alert to my brain to stop working telekinetically. I was definitely going to have to get used to controlling my output if I was going to live with this thing.

    I peered at the burning machine, tilting my head. I didn't know why, but the flames intrigued me-- much like the moon. The tongues of fire hopped up and down, the embers playful children on a trampoline. Whereas the moon interacted with me beautifully, the fire was just as beautiful on its own, no interaction necessary.

    My examining was inturrupted as a metallic clang spiraled from behind the curtain.

    "Celestia-dammit, again?!" a feminine voice barked. Meanwhile, Nurse Redheart threw the curtains aside, giving away to her two other companions-- the same ponies which had stitched me up earlier. The unicorn was groaning as her horn emitted a sound comparable to a soft record being scratched. Her stallion companion gave her a look.

    "It was working just this morning," he said.

    Nurse Redheart shook her head begrudgingly, picking up the fire extinguisher on the floor before spraying the burning machine. Once again, she had to stand on her hind hooves to perform the task, and once again, she was adorable.

    When the dancing children were killed, Redheart glared back at her companions. "Focus, students."

    The two sighed. "Sorry," the mare muttered. "But my magic was working just earlier! It seems like whenever I have to deal with him, it just fails on me. And what happened to his nose?!"

    I have a name, lady--

    ...Oh. Wait.

    "It started bleeding," Nurse Redheart answered. She gestured to the smoldering machine. "Clean this up, and make arrangements for a new Automatic-IV. I need to talk with the patient."

    The ponies nodded, getting to work. The unicorn kept giving me glances as she did her job, suspicious of me. Nurse Redheart, meanwhile, trotted to beside my bed, sitting on her stool. The mare student exited the room, "Automatic-IV" in tow. The stallion wiped the burn marks clean, before running out of the room, closing the door behind him.

    I felt Nurse Redheart's eyes bore into my fur. She knew what I did, and knew I knew that, too. I focused on placing a fabric dam in front of my bloody waters, instead of her glare.

    "You did your thing, didn't you?" she said plainly.

    I nodded.

    An awkward silence followed before she popped it. "That stuff is expensive. A normal IV might be worth just twenty or ten bits, but an Automatic-IV? Damn, you really screwed up this time."

    I replaced the wet tissue with a new one.

    "...So, you know anything about this radius of 'anti-magic' you got going for you?" I blinked, confused. "Anypony I send around you gets a free magic-barrier to the horn. Or wings, in the case of Ms. Rainbow Dash." Nurse Redheart leaned in, close. "So, can you control it, the way you can control everything else with that brain of yours?"

    I shook my head. I didn't even know what she was talking about, let alone how to control it! And why was she being such a bitch? I didn't do anything to her.

    She must have noticed how my eyes became narrower. Redheart leaned back, finishing the pep-talk. "I'll get somepony who's more equipped to help with your reading. Then we can work on some more flash cards." She hopped off the stool, picking it up with her teeth and the flash cards with her hoof as she trotted away. She didn't get far, however, as it seemed another thought came to mind. Nurse Redheart sat the stool to the floor, looking me in the eye. "You're lucky you don't have any money. I would have definitely put you in debt. But, then again, that wouldn't be the best welcoming to Ponyville, now, would it?"

    I replaced the now red tissue with another one.

    "...There's a trash can beside your bed," she said, before gripping the stool again, trotting out of the room.

    I cringed. Not only did my brain hurt, but my relationship with the nurse wasn't fairing too well, either. I glanced at the spot where the smoldering result of my efforts used to be.

    Well, now I knew I was a major klutz. I needed to learn how to control this; and what my limits were. I was fine holding that machine up to the ceiling before, that is, until it started smoking. Did the elements get in the way of this "thing?"

    There was tapping on the window. Confused, I turned to the glass to see Rainbow Dash, hovering just outside the glass. She gave a sheepish smile, waving with one hoof. She was obviously holding something with the other. Dash gestured to the window, mentally asking to come in.

    I gave her a look.

    What did she want?

    Rainbow Dash groaned. "Hey!" she said, her voice slightly muffled by the glass. "I'm sorry about last time, alright? But I have something for you. Can you open the window?"

    My glare held. What did she have that I would want? Really, I just wanted to be alone right now.

"Did he get it yet?!" a girlish voice yelled out below.

    Rainbow Dash turned her head to whoever was below her. "Hang on a sec!" She turned back to me. "Dude, c'mon. Help me out here; just let me in."

    I felt a growl emmit from my throat as I threw my legs over the bedside, ready to grant her wish.

    That was when I remembered my radius of anti-magic.

    I froze, cursing my luck before turning to Rainbow Dash. She was getting impatient. "Wai dunt yoo jus... wok inn?"

    "Pfft. With Redheart making sure I stay on the naughty list? Ain't gonna happen." She tapped the window with her hoof. "Can I come in now?"

    The girlish voice spoke up again, a strainingly loud whisper. "HOW ABOUT NOW?"

    "No, Pinkie, not yet!" The pegasus turned back to me pleadingly.

    I wanted to let her in, but her falling to her death was not on my List of Desires. I would have to open the window from here-- hopefully she could get inside before she lost her flying.

    "...Tern arown," I suggested.

    Rainbow Dash gave me a confused stare.

    "...Tern..."

    "I know what you said, I just don't know why."

    Bucking...

    "...Aim nekid."

    Dash wasn't expecting that, by the look of how she reacted. She seemed to stand upright in the air, gesturing to her bare fur with one arm as if it was a sight to behold. "...Dude, I am, too."

    I frowned. "Pleez jus... toine arund!"

    Rainbow Dash groaned, turning her back to me. "Stallions are weird," I heard her mumble, although I didn't focus on it. I focused on the window sill, grabbing it with my mind. I felt it strain, and my nose started to bleed again, but I pulled up.

    I grabbed another tissue, pressing it on the bleeding orafice. "Cum in..."

    "That was quick," Dash acknowledged, crawling in the frame. She was holding something behind her back with her wings, standing on her hind hooves. "Anyways, a friend of mine wanted-- woah, what happened to your nose?"

    Rainbow Dash placed whatever she was carrying on the floor, just out of sight. She trotted to beside me. Thankfully, the pegasus wasn't in flight.

    I followed Nurse Redheart's example, although my voice wasn't nearly as sophisticated as hers. "...Eet stawted bleed'n'."

    "No kidding," Dash agreed. "Did--"

    I cut her off. "Wai aw yoo herr?"

    The voice outside called out again. "WHAT ABOUT NOW?!"

    Rainbow Dash gave me a concerned look, before dashing to the window. She stuck her head out, glaring at someone below. "No! Not yet!"

    "Well, hurry up!" Pinkie hollered back. "Because I wanna be right on time when it's my cue! Just tell me when he knows, exactly! Oh! Wait! Then I'll be 2.61 seconds too late! Just stay by the window and wave to me when he sees it! Ooh, I can't wait..!"

    She sounded like a Pinkie.

    Dash turned back to me, smiling sheepishly. "Aheh... My friend wants to get to the point. But your nose--"

    "Eets hokeh," I said. "R... reeleh."

    Rainbow Dash gave me one last concerned look, before picking up the mysterious object. "...Anyways, my friend is a huge party enthusiast, so she naturally wanted to throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' extravaganza the moment you came. But, you having a massive hole in your chest and all... Yeah. Didn't really work out. But hey, she wanted me to give this to you."

    Rainbow Dash pulled the object out from behind. The moment my eyes laid on the thing, my stomach rumbled. I quickly covered myself up as Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Most ponies react that way."

    I sniffed the air...

    ...Oh, my God. All the cacti. Straight up my ass if I'd ever smelt anything so good in my entire life, previous and current. I felt saliva gather up in my mouth as I suddenly realized how hungry I was.

    I was the first person ever to think "I can't remember the last time I ate," and be telling the truth.

    Rainbow Dash was waving to somebody outside. Before I could react, a pink pony almost instantly burst through the window frame, throwing her hooves up as she landed. "HAPPY SURPRISE-WELCOME-TO-PONYVILLE-PARTY-AFTER-SOMEPONY-TOLD-YOU-THERE-WASN'T-GOING-TO-BE-ONE-PARTY!!! THAT'S A DOUBLE SURPRISE!"

    I had a heart attack.

    But that didn't affect me at all, considering my heart wasn't even working in the first place.

    Rainbow Dash grinned as the pony hopped up, bouncing in place. Her mouth instantly turned into the most annoying thing on the planet. "I'm really excited you're here! I stayed up all night long baking that cake for you-- I hope you're not allergic to deliciousness!" She giggled. "That was a reference!"

    I gave Rainbow Dash a look.

    "She's like that all the time," she chuckled, glancing her friend's way.

    "I wanted to be here when you took your first bite of anything, ever!" Pinkie cheered. "It was an honor to be the creator of the first food anypony's had; most ponies who haven't had food yet are first borns, so I unfortunately can't cook them any of my goodies. Something about their gums being too sensitive, but..." She kept talking. I stopped listening.

    I was too busy giving Rainbow Dash a glare. "...Yoo tuld hurr?"

    Rainbow Dash shrugged. "She helped me carry you here. She deserved an explanation."

    That made sense. Still, it irked me.

    "...Her, and a few other friends."

    That did more than irk me. "...Hou munee?"

    Rainbow Dash cringed. I glared. Pinkie, meanwhile, explained.

    "Five!" she chippered.

    I was slightly tempted to throw Rainbow Dash out the window. Slightly. But tempted, nevertheless.

    "...Ai'll haf dat... cayk noaw."

III: Andrew

   Do you remember the first time you've ever eaten something?

    Well, of course not! If you're old enough to even be reading this right now, you'd be at least six years old, and by then six years have passed since you've taken your first bite. In all honesty, that was a stupid question. I guess, really, the only reason I asked you that is to brag about how I remember my first food, crystal clear. And, while you were stuck eating that Gerber mush, I was munching away on the most delicious cake I've ever put on my tongue.

    My first bite went exactly as following:

    1. I took a bite.

    2. I almost died.

    The moment my teeth closed around the fork, dragging the pink cake piece in my mouth, I knew I was in for a treat. It touched my tongue before sending sparks throughout my body, erupting a shiver from my relatively new muscles. As the sweet froth of the creamy icing dissipated on my taste buds, my eyes shot open. However, the icing was no match for the ambitiously tasty bread inside. The soft flour inside rested on my tongue, making me almost sigh out of pleasure. After a quick chew, the line of ice cream between the two, softer layers revealed itself. It was cold, and sent a winter chill throughout my nerves, but it was an amazing transition.

    I must have killed a box of kittens in front of the two mares, judging by their faces. Their jaws were dropped, the pink one's literally laying on the floor (I dismissed it as yet another advantage of Horse World). I spasmed back to reality, blinking awake.

    "...Wut?" I breathed.

"...Wowzie, mister!" Pinkie chippered. "I never met anypony who liked my pastry that much! Seriously, how are you doing that? I thought I was the only one who could break the laws of physics! You must teach me this witchcraft! TEACH ME TEACH ME TEACH ME TEACH ME!"

    I was about to ask what she meant, before I realized my neck was craned downward to look at her. I was floating in mid-air, the blanket hanging from my body. I was fairly certain I felt my pupils turn to the size of marbles as my ears drooped to my skull.

    Now I knew I sucked at keeping secrets.

    "...Dude," Rainbow Dash whispered, staggering back before steadying herself. "...You can hover? Above the ground? Like... without wings?!"

    I lowered myself back to my bed. Fortunately, my nose didn't bleed.

    I couldn't look at them in the eye. I just wanted to collapse this roof on top of me, to end this embarrassment. I couldn't keep a secret worth shit. Truly, my only regret would be that I wouldn't live to eat another one of Pinkie's cakes. That fact instantly outweighed all my suicidal thoughts, and more, as I held my plate close before pulling the covers over my head. I felt myself shaking, due to the fabric in front of my face following suit. A sound started to come up my throat.

Don't you bucking whimper, you piece of fleshy, unsure shit.

    My throat shut up.

    "Hey!" I heard a voice call out happily as the blanket was dragged off my head. I glanced up to see Pinkie Pie, inches from my face. "Don't you worry about anything, Mr. Power Pants! We deal with a bunch of other things each day, way weirder than just some stallion floating!"

    "I don't," Rainbow Dash breathed.

    The blanket dragged itself back over my head as I took another bite from my cake. Hopefully, its deliciousness would make me disappear. "...Ai dun no... wuts happneen too me."

    There was silence on the other side of the fabric wall. Finally, they were starting to get it: I wasn't in the mood for their technicolor whorseness. Yes, whoresness. I already had enough on my plate (minus the only good thing in the second life so far: the cake), and hearing their annoyingly high-pitched voices were not helping.

    I saw the blanket drag off my mane once again. I felt a growl emit from my throat, and I didn't stop it. I looked up to see Pinkie Pie, leaning uncomfortably close to me yet again.

    "Hey, we won't tell anypony!" she chippered. "My mouth is zipped tight! See?" She did the zip-lipped motion with her hoof.

    At least she wasn't going to be a problem. I looked at Rainbow Dash, who was just barely recovering from her trance. "Uhh... Yeah. Won't tell anypony."

    That, I did not believe one bit. I showed my distrust with a glare.

    "Let's not all get stingy-wingy," Pinkie chippered from beside me. "We're all friends, right?" (No. We're not.) "Why can't we all just get along-- If it makes you feel any better, I'll stalk Dashie to the end of eternity to make sure she won't tell anypony."

    That sounded a little like a threat, but I wasn't complaining. I nodded my thanks, before taking another bite of my cake. It took some of the pain away.

    "...So, you can hover?" Rainbow Dash mumbled. "Can you... fly?"

    I stopped chewing.

    Now that was a thought. But, still, I wasn't even close to that level of my ability. Just last night I held myself for just a few seconds before my brain grew tired. But, then again, I held that Automatic-IV up pretty long. However, that thought reminded me that my talent grew more agonizing when in contrast to smoke, and I was pretty sure that meant I was weaker around the elements. But if that was true, how did I string the clouds around last night like puppets, if they're made from water? Or are they solid in this new world?

    My brain hurt, this time without the help of my ability. I looked at Rainbow Dash before answering, "Ai dunno. Ai can..." Damn, saying 'levitate' is harder than it looks. "...lift othur obgectz wif... my brayn."

    Rainbow Dash staggered back, before shaking a little. "You just keep getting weirder and weirder, don't you?"

AWWWWH YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

    Pinkie Pie's reaction was more favorable. "HUWHAAAAAT? So, you're like a unicorn, only without a horn?! Are you sure you're not just hiding it with magic? Lemme see!" She hopped on my bed, leaning over me as she waved her hoof over my forehead. I was wondering if she had any sense of personal space when she hopped back on the floor. "Le gasp! I just had an amazing idea! You should pick me up!"

    That was not an amazing idea. I groaned, pulling my blanket back above my head. My mane and this fabric were becoming really good friends.

    "Come on, I knooOoow you can do it! Just lift me up from the floor; I'll be a good little test subject! I'll try not to squeal with delight too loud, because that'll just encourage Nurse Redheart to come up here and catch us mid-conversation, and we don't want that grumpy-pants ruining the fun-- Oh hi, Nurse Redheart! So glad to see you! So, what do you think of this weather-- Gyh! DASHIE?! What are you- HARASSMENT! I NEED AN ADULT--"

    Pinkie's voice was cut off as the window slammed shut. Did Rainbow Dash just jump out the window with Pinkie Pie? Aw, I should have seen it. She would've regained her flight the second she exited the window, anyway.

    The blanket, once again, was dragged off my head. I half-expected to see Pinkie Pie's gleaming face uncomfortably close, but instead was greeted with an exasperated Nurse Redheart. She kept her distance (thankfully) as she laid the blanket back on my lap, frowning.

    "If your marefriend wanted to visit you," Redheart quipped, lapidary as ever. "She could've just gone through the front door."

    "She noes sheez on the... blakleest," I sounded out. "...And she iz nawt mai marefwend. Wut iz ah marefwend, aneeweigh?" Didn't she mean 'girlfriend'? Or was that a horse pun? Either way, it was stupid.

    Nurse Redheart shook her head gloomily, before hopping back down to all fours. It was then I noticed another pony in the room; she had wings and a horn, and she was purple. The fact she was purple was the only thing I chose to acknowledge about her color scheme.

    These ponies were getting ridiculous.

    But, fabulous colors aside, I saw that the pony standing just behind Nurse Redheart was visibly disturbed by the sight of me, and she avoided all eye contact when possible.

    "Mister... Uh, Stallion," Nurse Redheart said, once again rekindling my joy that I wasn't the only one who sucked with words. She gestured to the mare. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle. She has come to help you learn to read." Redheart whispered in my ear, "You better be pretty buckin' grateful. She's a Princess, and she came over to help you on a pre-school level."

    Thanks for that. I turned back to the pony.

    She grinned wholeheartedly, banishing all reticent looks on her face instantly. "Hello! Nurse Redheart has already introduced me to your situation, so no need to explain! I'm always happy to help a fellow pony!"

    For a while, I stared at her.

    Okay, that was weird.

    Twilight seemed to notice, and shook her head abruptly. "Uhh.. Sorry. Let me try that again. Greetings, my good subject. My friends have told me about you, and I'm excited that I get to work with you!"

    Great. So Purple Horse is friends with Skittle Head and Sugar-High. I can probably assume that she knows my life story, considering how badly Dash can keep a secret.

    I took another bite of my slice of cake.

    Nurse Redheart trotted to Twilight and whispered something in her ear. The pegasus-unicorn mix nodded, before turning back to me. "You ready to expand that wanting brain of yours?"

    She was talking to me like a child. I felt myself grit my teeth, although I limited the violence to just my thoughts. Even Nurse Redheart didn't approve of her tone, as she whispered something else in her ear.

    "Oh," Twilight chuckled. "Sorry. I'm not used to teaching ponies of your... age. Especially a subject such as this. Well, actually, I'm not really used to any teaching!" She gave Nurse Redheart a questioning look.

     "Cheerilee's on her trip, remember?" she defended herself.

    Twilight nodded, before turning back to me. I seriously hated her color scheme. "So, let's start off with the simple stuff!" Nurse Redheart took this as a signal to leave as Twilight attempted to pick up a flashcard, but her horn sparked out death in response. "What the..." She tried again. Fruitless, she instead picked up a flashcard, showing it to me. It looked like a scribble to my inexperienced eyes, but I recognized it as one of the characters in Redheart's flashcards. "This is an A. It makes an ah sound."

    I knew what an A was, I just didn't know what it looked like on paper. Obviously, Twilight didn't know that as she continued to treat me like a preschooler. "It goes in words such as ant. Or apple. Or aboulomania."

    That last one sounded more my level. Twilight, meanwhile, realized her mistake and blushed. "Sorry! Just trying to... sorry. I mean, I know you're in high school and all, so I just wante-- MMH!"

    If I was holding a glass of water, I would have dropped it.

    For a while, the mare and I just stared at each other. She started to sweat as her body vibrated nervously, although I didn't care for that. I cared for the fact that she knew something about me.

    "...Wah?" I heard myself breath. The mare was recovering, now.

    "Uhh-h... I mean, you look like you'd be in high-school. Just my, uh..."

    She kept talking, but I wasn't listening. I knew she was making up excuses. Her voice was just the fog on the window of my brain as it steadily gathered itself, but could never come in. Twilight Sparkle knew something about me! What else did she know? Did that explain her weirdness around me? How does she know this?! I let her voice back in, although only to ask a question.

    "...But, I mean, that would be--"

    I interrupted her. "Wut elz... doo yoo noe?"

    She was making up more excuses. Twilight looked around hurriedly, as if trying to find an escape route. Well, if that was the case, I would keep her down forcefully. "I... I just thought you'd be a high-schooler; I don't know anything else, I swear-- dammit, I mean I don't know anything at all!" She gasped. "I didn't mean to swear!"

    I pulled myself to a sitting position. There was no way she was getting out of this. Celestia-dammit, she knew something, and she wasn't going to rob me of this. "Tell mee. Plees."

    Twilight was stacking the cards back together shakily. When her hooves couldn't operate right, she accidentally dropped them. When Twilight tried to use her magic again (and failed), she bent down to pick them up, muttering to herself. "Oh, this was a horrible idea. Why did I say yes? I should have waited longer! Ugh, now I'm in trouble..."

    I felt myself shaking. Why wouldn't she tell me anymore?! "Tell mee," I said once again.

    Twilight successfully stacked the cards back in their correct order, before standing back up. She trotted to the doorway. "It was an assumption, nothing more. I'm sorry, but I have to leave--"

    I shut the door.

    Twilight Sparkle cursed again as she attempted to open it. My grip held.

"Tell me!" I yelled. My throat hurt afterwards, but I didn't care. Twilight wasn't getting out of this. She can't just say something like that and expect to get away with it! Redheart told her of my predicament; she knew I didn't know anything about myself, yet she did. I wasn't letting her out until I got answers.

    "I'm sorry," Twilight explained from behind the curtain. Her voice was cracking, as if on the verge of tears. "I can't tell you anything, Andrew."

    ...Andrew.

    My grip on the doorknob wisped away, although Twilight was just as frozen as I was.

    ...Did she just say my name?

    As if reading my thoughts, Twilight steadily walked back in front of the curtain. Her head was lowered, eyes glued to the floor. When she knew she was in plain view, Twilight stopped. She took a while, but soon the mare glanced up to me.

    "...Yes," she whispered. "Your name is Andrew."

    I felt myself shaking.

    "I can't tell you any more," Twilight confirmed, before turning away. "As much as I'd like to."

    I wanted to stop her, but I couldn't. My brain was numb, my body was unresponsive, and my eyes were glued to the pony as she steadily walked away. After that, all became blurry and painful.

    I felt my body shaking once again as I lost control. At first, it was a gentle vibrating of the hoof. Then, a constant, violent twitch of the arm. After that, my shoulders began to convulse. All of this happened without my direct command, although I did nothing to stop it. I calmly just let it happen.

    I didn't know if I should be happy or furious. My body was suggesting the latter.

    I could be happy because somepony knew things about me. I now knew my name, and that I was a high school student.

    I could also be furious, simply because she refused to tell me any more.

    I saw the desk beside me rustling violently, along with the curtain. I was shaking all over now, my head spasming like a punching bag.

    "My name is Andrew," I whispered, before the desk flew forward, smashing through the window. A few seconds later, a splintering cracking sound was heard from below, along with glass shattering. I remembered that that was the place where Rainbow Dash put the mirror, yet that only angered me more. Meanwhile, hoofsteps were heard from the hall behind my door.

    The curtains beside me began to wrinkle and expand violently, before I tore them apart. The ripping sound was delightful, but unsatisfying. I sent the curtain and its rack to the wall, erupting a metal clang from its impact. My eyes narrowed as the rack rolled up into a ball, erupting a lurid screeching that hurt my ears. Instead of letting the ears flatten naturally, I used my talent to pull them down. They slammed shut forcefully.

    I saw Nurse Redheart rush into the room, followed by a few other nurses. I was convulsing now, my nose dripping blood, yet I didn't feel tired in the slightest. My brain kept working as I focused on one of the mares in the room.

    I didn't know what I did, I just let my brain do the work and before I know it, that mare was screaming. She collapsed to the floor in pain, paralyzed. Her comrades bent down to help her, but Nurse Redheart just dashed up to me before sticking a syringe in my arm.

    Then, the night engulfed my senses.

    The sky above was red, its usual blue radiance absent this day. It was raining from the black clouds above, sprinkling my torn and bloody pelt with gasoline when the first lightning strike hit. The plasma crashed into the floor in front of me with a vengeance, spewing hot, thick blood from its contact point. The goo splattered upon body, adding a layer on top of the dripping gasoline.

     I didn't mind much, though. Instead of worrying about the imminent explosion which was coming, though, I just did the only logical thing one would do in this situation. I revved up the lawnmower, and walked forward.

    My hooves rested comfortably on the handle as the lawnmower roared to life. I hummed a sweet melody my mother (now nothing but a gory mess on the carpet at home) taught me to drown out the screams which would come most definitely.

    My lawnmower bumped into the first body. I looked down to see a mare strapped to the mushy floor, staring up at me with tearful, pleading eyes. The gag on her mouth prevented her from talking, and if they couldn't talk, I couldn't listen. So, I casually pushed down on the lever, the lawnmower's tip going up in the air in response.

    I pushed the machine on the mare's stomach. Instantly afterwards, gore showered my bottom hooves and she screamed, the gag dissolving in response. Blood painted my hooves black as her intestines eventually got tangled up in the spinning blades of the machine. I let out an exasperated groan as I knelt down, tipping the lawnmower over to inspect the innards.

    Yep. Tangled up. I rolled my eyes before plunging my teeth in the flesh, ripping it out. The blades now free, I got up to give the machine life again, before doing just that. The mare wasn't screaming anymore as the mower devoured her stomach, sinking slowly to the floor. When a perfect hole had been made, I moved on to the next subject: a colt, shaking in fear.

    He was going to be a lot easier; with his small body the lawn mower will devour him whole.

    That was when the door burst open. My head twisted around to see that police ponies were charging towards me. Thinking quickly, I abandoned the child to run straight at the cops. When the moment was right, the lightning struck me.

    The gasoline instantly caught fire, making an explosion. My body was easy meat for the fire, dissolving it instantly, but the cops weren't so lucky. Legs flew from bodies, eyes popped from heads, and organs fell from open bellies. They all screamed as they collapsed, dying slowly in indescribable pain and torture. If I could have smiled, I would have, but I was only burnt skeleton now.

    "What are you?" one of the cops gurgled out as he died. I turned his way, before smiling and bowing.

    "My name is Andrew," I greeted. The cop, in response, reached down to his waist and grabbed a gun with his hoof. Quick as a whip, he pointed it at my head before firing.

    At that, reality shifted. Instead of screams and fires, my ears were filled with the revving of a thousand chainsaws, all around myself. My head floated up from my body to get a good view. I was in a spread-eagle pose, floating in nothingness. Above me were thousands and thousands of lawnmowers, their spinning blades perfectly visible.

    The first one fell, taking off my right hoof. No pain was felt, but it was still enough to make me slightly uncomfortable. The second one fell, reducing my left back hoof to shredded meat. More and more fell, before my body was reduced to a twitching chest, the heart beating impossibly fast.

    The last lawnmower fell, shredding my heart into fur and blood. I was finally at peace.

    My eyes lazily opened to find that I was in a dark room.

    I recognized it as my hospital room, courtesy of the tiled, white-and-gray ceiling above. I took a moment to study its square textures, as if still in a trance, when I heard voices in my room. I recognized one of the hosts being Nurse Redheart, and she was angry.

    "...and ship him off to an insane asylum," she finished furiously. "You weren't there to see what he did to Cactus Blossom. You didn't hear her screaming, and you certainly did not see her spine jutting out from her back, spewing blood-- and she was sobbing from pain. You do not have the right to defend this stallion."

    ...Did I really do that to somepony?

    I felt a stone drop in my stomach. I did... that to another living being. What kind of a monster was I? I slammed my eyes shut.

    The other voice spoke up. I recognized it as Twilight's. "You don't know anything about what he's going through."

    "I deal with amnesic ponies every other day," Redheart snapped. "It will come back to him, just you bucking wait. He'll wake up one day and he'll know wherever the buck he came from and hopefully drag his miserable ass back there. He'll wake up and remember everything, and when he does, I'll report his name to Princess Celestia."

    "His name is Andrew," Twilight interrupted. My eyes rested at that. It was calming to hear my name coming from someone else's mouth. Nurse Redheart, meanwhile, stayed silent. "...I know that, and more. And if you'll just let me explain, I think you can forgive him--"

    "Forgive him?!" Redheart snapped. "Why would I ever forgive him? He almost killed somepony! She's paralyzed now! Just think about it: Cactus Blossom has two kids, and a husband who she rarely gets to see! She already had enough on her plate before this stunt. Worst of all, how do you think they'll react to this?! Some things are just unforgivable, Twilight."

    How could I do this to somepony?

    I was shaking now. I blew it. I was going to jail after this, no doubt about it. I might as well just rip my own back out, and let nature take its course.

    I peered down to the two talking mares. Nurse Redheart was shaking with rage as she glared at me. If I revealed myself to be conscious now, she was going to kill me.

    "I know you're angry," Twilight stepped between Redheart and I. "But try and see things from his point of view. Andrew woke up with no memory, at all, with telekinesis, poor pronunciation, and a hole through his bucking chest!" (My hoof laid on my damaged chest. The skin was still soft and fleshy between the stitches.) "He is horrified by what is happening, Nurse Redheart. He's scared, angry, and sad, and worst of all, he has the right to be."

    Redheart snorted, glaring at the floor. Twilight was winning the argument, but I wasn't focused on it.

    Was Twilight defending me? After what I've done?

    "I understand why you would be angry," Twilight admitted. "I may not know Cactus Blossom personally, and I could never imagine the pain she went through. But Andrew didn't know what he was doing, besides acting out of anger..."

    "Anger of what?" Redheart barked.

    Twilight stayed silent for a while. I briefly wondered if she had a response, until she spoke up. "He's angry I won't tell him anything."

    "What do you mean?"

    "I... accidentally told him he was in high-school." I could literally hear the blush coming from her. "He assumed I knew more. He got angry I wouldn't tell him, until I... once again, accidentally, told him his name."

    "So is that why you took up my offer to teach him?" Redheart accused.

    "No! I was just excited to meet him. I thought I could keep a secret..."

    "With all due respect, Princess, that was incredibly stupid. Especially coming from you."

    "You haven't seen what I've seen. If you were in my horseshoes, I guarantee you would have done the same. He's just... interesting."

    "So just what have you seen, Princess?" Redheart said. I could hear the venomous hate in her voice.

    Twilight, instead of answering, looked my way. My eyes were instantly closed. After a while, she continued. "...Not here."

    Oh, shit, no!

    To my horror, Nurse Redheart agreed. Celestia-dammit, why couldn't they just tell me?! Is that stupid color scheme of hers getting in the way of her thinking process? Fuck!

    During my non-verbal rant, the Duo of Dishonesty was leaving the room. I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass. When they shut the door, I let my talent do its work to slowly turn the knob, opening the door just a peak.

    Twilight started just outside the door. "...I've been receiving different clips lately. They show up at my doorstep late at night; I don't know who's sending them. They started showing up just a few days ago."

    "That was before Andrew came here," Redheart acknowledged. "How do you know they're connected to him?"

    "Let me finish," Twilight said. "I'll explain everything I know." After a deep breath, she started again. "The first clip came with a note. It read, 'Do not show Him.' I didn't know what it meant, but I kept it." (There was the rustling of paper.) "Here it is..."

    "What's that signature?" Redheart asked.

    "I don't know. It's in a different language." More rustling of paper, most likely Twilight taking the note back.

    "Why would somepony write a letter in our language, but sign his name in another?" Redheart pondered. "Those characters aren't even recognizable. They look... Ugly. And straight. Like different lines put in a different arrangement."

    Twilight ignored her comment. "This came with the first tape, like I was saying. Now, since I don't have a TV to play it, I had to go down to Lyra's to see it." She paused. "...It was a tape from a video recorder. Andrew was recording himself."

    Nurse Redheart stayed silent.

    "He's... not a pony," Twilight continued.

    "What do you mean?"

    "He's not a pony," Twilight said. "Lyra was extremely excited when she saw it with me. She said he was a 'human.'"

    Redheart responded with something, but I didn't hear it. I zoned out.

    I didn't really think about anything, my mind just went numb. For a few seconds, my eyes were wide, nothing computing correctly.

    I was not a pony. I knew exactly what a human was, but I would have never thought I was one.

    I suddenly remembered why I was eavesdropping, and tuned back in. Twilight was talking.

    "...was bullied. After that, it cut off to blackness." Twilight paused. "The next day, another clip showed up on my doorstep. Lyra was... more than happy to view it with me. But this clip ended on a weird note."

    Redheart didn't say anything, listening intently.

    "It started where the last clip ended, as if the two were formerly connected, like a movie. Once again, it was taped from a hand-held camera. Andrew took the camera to a party with Matt." (Who was Matt? I really shouldn't have zoned out...) "I could tell Matt was just trying to be a good cousin, just trying to get Andrew out. But it quickly turned sour... Andrew was assaulted by a drunk stallion because he was taping his dancing marefriend." She paused. "...It's sick. If that mare was being a slut to everypony else, why did he not care until somepony took out a camera?"

    Another pause. Meanwhile, I thought of what she meant. Matt was my cousin?

    "I'm sorry for swearing, I just... I don't think anypony should be treated like that. He made Andrew feel horrible about himself, as if he didn't have enough on his plate."

    I could hear Nurse Redheart kicking her hoof. "...Yes, I suppose he does deserve better."

    My ears perked up. That's something I never thought I'd hear her say.

    Twilight continued. "...Anyways, that's where the clip ended. I hope the next one will come tonight. I need to know more about him."

    Nurse Redheart stayed silent.

    "I hope you can see that he is struggling," Twilight concluded. "Just... give him time. Let him settle in. Be patient with him, and please... don't tell him what I've said."

IV: She-Devil

    Have you ever wanted to kill someone?

    I certainly know the answer to that question for myself. It had been a day since I had paralyzed that mare, and a day full of guilt at that. I didn't want to talk to Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie when they came in (through the door this time), and only opened my mouth to say our farewells. I felt slightly bad for those two mares, but only slightly. Cactus Blossom was the main focus of my guilt, and the main reason why I wanted to kill someone.

    Not somepony, but someone.

    "C'mon, get up higher," Nurse Redheart was saying as I zoned back in. Realizing my current situation, I held on tight to the bar in front of me as I shakily stood upright. Redheart, holding onto the same metal, facing me on the other side, nodded. "Again."

    I bit my lip out of pain as I bent my knees, lowering to a squatting stance. My legs flexed hard, yet they wouldn't give out. My entire body shook from the unfamiliar feeling of putting intentional exhaustion on my upper legs for the first time.

    Meanwhile, Nurse Redheart was already as low as I was to go, her tail splayed on the tile floor below. I exhaled quickly, staring forward as I, once again, slowly descented. My arms shook with determination as they held strong.

    I bucking hate Stress Tests. Apparently, they were exercises which "everypony has to do after a stroke. We're only recording your muscle strength, and renewing your spirit. It's for your safety!" Bullshit is what I say. This was an excuse for Redheart to see me squirm and sweat.

    Now, my tail was scraping the floor, slowly splaying out. I lowered more, my teeth gritting as I panted. I was almost to Redheart's level when I felt my muscles give out-- I fell to the floor with a thud.

    Nurse Redheart sighed out of exasperation, but I was focused on the relaxation settling in on my quads. She pushed off the metal bar, before dropping to all fours and trotting to the bench with her clipboard on it. I was starting to wonder if she had a wood-metal-and-paper fetish.

    "Just two more days of this and you'll be back to full strength," Nurse Redheart susurrated pleasantly. "I usually do flash cards after this part, but you'll need to learn how to read first. We both know how that turned out, don't we?"

    I glared at her, momentarily wondering how much force it'd take to crack her back, too. With a shake of my head, those thoughts were shoved to the back of my dark, shadowy mind. "...I'd like t' see the maire I injurrd," I said as I crawled back up to all fours. My Equestrian was getting better by the day, but I was still at a "noticeable speech disorder level."

    Nurse Redheart peered up at me. "No, you may not see Cactus Blossom," she replied. I felt a tinge of venom in her voice.

    I stood up on all fours, before making my way to Nurse Redheart. I saw her bristle at my presence, but I didn't care. "I want to say sowrry to her."

    "I'm sure you do," Nurse Redheart deadpanned, her cyan eyes still peering into my (don't know the color) ones.

    I backed down, muttering just loud enough so she could hear me. "It's not nice to keep things to yourself." I felt her fur bristle more, and I mentally smiled. She knew I knew. And I wasn't going to let up until she showed me the tapes.

    Nurse Redheart growled, before landing back on the tile floor, her clops echoing in the small room. "Let's try the Bar Test again."

    "What did you tell them happend?" I asked, turning back to the nurse. Redheart raised an eyebrow. "The other pohnies. When I injurrd Cactus? You didnt tell them our li'l secret, did you?"

    "I told them one of our unicorn patients was on her period, and was doing that to you out of emotional stress from another room."

    Wow.

    "Grab the bar," Nurse Redheart commanded as she trotted past me, wrapping her own hooves on the bar, standing on her hind legs.

    Maybe I could stimulate the serotonin receptors in her brain to make her stop acting like she confused her dildo with a cactus this morning. Then again, that might just make her brain explode. Oh well, both are ideal for me.

    I grabbed the horizontal bar, across from Redheart. We both peered at each other, the tension steadily growing as we retained eye contact.

    "Half way," she said simply, squatting her legs to a 90 degree angle. I still kept eye contact, trying my best to look intimidating enough for her to get my message. With some straining, I slowly lowered myself to a squatting stance. My muscles burnt as I held my pose, but I kept at it. "Back up." The mare in front of me easily stood back up. I followed, although a bit slower.

    "Does Cactus Blossom hav a famly?" I asked.

    "A husband and two fillies," Nurse Redheart said. "All not interested in seeing you."

    "How do you know? They dunt even know it was me."

    "Half way again," Nurse Redheart changed the subject. She knelt back down to her pose, and I saw some muscle under her white, fur legs.

    I squatted down to her level, shaking all the way. We were now at eye-level. "Does her famly know what happend?"

    "They know she's paralyzed," Nurse Redheart murmered, hints of anger creeping into her voice. "Stop asking about them. Now, all the way down."

    As the mare sank to the floor with ease, I tried to follow suit. The metal, plain room around me echoed my grunts as I shook, my leg muscles straining with the foreign efforts. I lowered myself to the floor shakily, yet I didn't fall.

    "So, who is this Twilite Sparkl, really?" I asked as I lowered my flank to the cold, tile floor. I shivered, before relaxing.

    "Princess Twilight Sparkle," Nurse Redheart corrected. "And she's an acquaintance of mine. A teacher for young fillies and colts."

    That, I knew was a lie. Twilight specifically said she wasn't a teacher last night. I glared at the nurse, but my growing strain eventually won over my anger, and I relaxed on the ground.

    "...Good job for today," Nurse Redheart said suddenly, standing back up on all fours. I followed suit, although slower. The mare disregarded me as she trotted back to the bench, picking something up. When she turned back, Nurse Redheart was holding a cup of water.

    Curious, but not suspicious, me thinks. I graciously accepted the liquid as she hoofed it to me, before gulping it down.

    "Go back to your room and get some rest," Nurse Redheart informed. "We'll work our way up to you being released."

    Released...?

    Well, that was a problem. I didn't have a house, or any money to afford one! Somepony would have to take me in, but besides Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, "Princess" Twilight Sparkle, and Nurse Redheart, nopony knew me. Nurse Redheart was out of the question, obviously. I'd have to mentally restrain myself from attacking Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash would probably tell the entire town of my presence, and my head would explode if I spent more than fifteen minutes with Pinkie.

    "What will I do when I get releesd?" I asked, after lowering the empty cup. Nurse Redheart gave me a look, and I explained my reasoning to her. Not two seconds passed before Redheart answered, just after taking the plastic cup from me.

    "Oh, Rarity already volenteered," she said bluntly. I tilted my head. "She's one of Rainbow Dash's friends-- the Ponyville Fashionista, as us doctors call her. Uptight to a fault, but she's titularly generous."

    Rainbow Dash had some weird friends.

    "Oh, that reminds me," Redheart exclaimed, before walking past me, holding her clipboard with a hoof. She turned around, before holding the door open for me. It led to the hallways of the hospital. "We don't force you to do anything here, so it's your choice if you would like to be placed in Rarity's custody." (My fur bristled via her child-innuendo.) "If you accept, she'll like to meet you tomorrow."

    I didn't have much of a choice, but I was cautious. "Why does a stranger want to help me?"

    Nurse Redheart peered at me, answering immediately. "Because that's the Ponyville way."

    ...Woah.

    I mentally took a step back, uneasy at the intensity of the statement. Redheart seemed to know what she had just said, before clearing her throat. "Rarity is generous," she said simply. "She won't pass up an offer like this."

    I saw a flash of something in her eyes, but Nurse Redheart looked away before I could make the emotion out. It was as if she was trying to prove a point-- as if this place was better than another. She was intentionally trying to make me feel at home.

    Did she see just what Twilight was talking about last night, and felt pity for me? Was she worried about me? From what I've heard (even if it was just a small demo), I must've had a shitty life.

    It was then I realized I was gazing at Redheart like an idiot. She had already recovered from her mini daydream, and was raising an eyebrow posed at me.

    "Uhh, Yes," I finally answered, warmth rushing to my face. "Tha'd be cool." Without so much as a glance, I trotted forward, into the bright hallway-- contrary to the gray, metal room I had just resided in. Redheart closed the door and followed me as I made my way out, which brought another question to mind. "...Why didnt you tell me earlier? This seems like an importnt mattur."

    Redheart, after a moment of hesitation, responded. "I think a lot."

    ...Are you shitting me?

    No, scratch that. Are you royally raping me with a blender? This is bull. *SHIT.***

    Nurse Redheart drugged me! Was that even legal?! So, not only did I wake up a few mornings ago with a motherfucking hole through my chest, gushing out blood, *leaving a freaking trail**, but I was also given a sleeping drug, *by a nurse. Through a cup of water. Whelp, now it was certain. I'm the main character of some amateur author's salacious fanfiction. Fuck this.

    I didn't know what I was going to do when Redheart opened that door, to this empty room. Key Word: empty. As in, she cleared the room of everything, even my bed-- I was sleeping on a thin mattress. Which was the floor. The entire room was padded. Was I going to rip her throat out, or was she going to rip mine out first? Was I going to just collapse the entire building out of rage? Celestia-dammit, she deserved to have a building collapsed on her!

    How the Hell was I supposed to function in here? Be happy? Go to the bathroom? What, was she going to send somepony to spot me when I do my business? CELESTIA-DAMMIT, WHY DOES SHE THINK I'M A THREAT? I'VE MADE IT PRETTY DAMN CLEAR I FEEL GUILTY. If she's too idiotic to see me struggling with the fact I just ruined a mare's life, then she better try brain surgery on herself!

    I was glaring a hole through the wall, my entire frame shaking with rage when the door to the room opened. My head snapped to the side, and I gave the entering pony a death glare. My hooves clenched into fists (I didn't bother to look down and see how that could possible look) as I recognized Nurse Redheart, who was currently giving me a look.

    "Now, Andrew..." she started.

    "Buck you and your entire family," I inturrupted, my irises narrowing in the meanwhile. I could've said "fuck," but that would mean she wouldn't have gotten in. Oh, well, I can fucking say it as fucking much as I fucking want in my fucking mind! FUCK YOU REDHEART!

    Redheart endured the blow with a cringe. "I knew you'd have some harsh words to share. But, please, try to look an this from my perspective."

    "Sorry, I can't. Your pers...pectiv is too blurry via your lust for shoving a cactus up your gaping--"

    "Andrew! Shut it! Listen to me, for once, and pay attention this time." Nurse Redheart growled, before closing her eyes. She massaged her temples with her hooves. "You are making this very difficult for me."

    "I hope I am, Bitch Cakes."

    "Andrew...!" Nurse Redheart was fuming as she bit her lip, clenched her eyes, and curled her hooves into fists. I smiled, knowing I knew what buttons to press to rustle her jimmies to oblivion. "...Stop talking to me in that manner. Right. Now."

    Ooh, Ms. Red-No-Heart is getting angry!

    "I had to ensure you would not hurt anypony else," the small part of my brain which was listening to her said. "Including yourself. No more falling out of windows, no more holding Automatic-IV machines, and no more visits from Twilight."

    Wait. Why did she say that last part? It was only one time, and it wasn't exactly going to be a reccuring thing.

    "Just..." Nurse Redheart was finishing, her eyes closed in a half-meditating state. "...Nothing. Tomorrow, Rarity will meet you. Two more days of Stress Tests, and you'll go home with her. But until and between those two events, your days will be summed up to: sleeping, eating, and Stress Tests. You will knock on the door, asking the pony outside if you can go to the restroom. You can jog around in this room for exercise. Are we clear?"

    I glared. This was completely unnecessary-- what was her problem with me? It's not like I was openly against her, ever. Was this her way to get back at me for Cactus-- who I was extremely guilty about?

    ...Or did this somehow have something to do with her seeing those tapes?

    My ears perked in realization. It was a stretch, obviously, but it could very well be the reason. Redheart knows me more than I do, and thinks this is the best option. Either that, or she knows what I'm capable of.

    Was Nurse Redheart scared of me?

    "...Crystal clear," I hissed quietly, noting the faint twinkle of relief in her eyes.

    I like it when they scream.

    The sound is soothing to my ears, like rich, creamy milk pouring into a tube. It was smooth and amazing, almost so much that I'd want to hang my mouth open, letting the pained snack sleek in. However, I resisted. I didn't want them to think I was insane, did I? I only wanted them to love me.

    I was sitting in a lifeguard's high chair on the edge of a pool. I held a large plank, about twelve feet long and five feet across, as I spectated the unfolding scene before me. 6 colts and 66 fillies were all in the large, deep pool in front of me. They were all splashing, screaming, and climbing on top of each other for breath as the edges of the pool was spiked, damaging any hooves that laid upon them to get out. Below the panicking bunch were the bodies of their friends, hundreds of feet below, having drowned days ago. Above was the maroon sky, black clouds watching over my good deeds as I kept watch, making sure the order of things were in motion.

    It was then I spotted a colt in the pool, trying his best to float on his back. He was breathing lightly, floating atop the water as chaos reigned around him. I growled, momentarily searching for anypony who wanted to drag him down to their level. When the opportunity never presented itself, I took matters into my own hands.

    Raising the plank above the helpless colt, I slowly set it down. He was paralyzed as he stared up at his impending doom, steadily descending. I tilted my head slightly as it rested on top of his small body, before dragging him under water. He instantly struggled, hooves flailing about under water. I, however, was not to be deterred. I shifted the plank left and right, jostling him as the water pressure caught up with him. Just a few more feet, and his head would explode...

    Before I could finish off the colt, something soft bucked me off the chair. It was enough to send me flying, launching my submissive body off of the high point in society. I went up and up, leaving the bloody pool behind as parents rushed in to help their babies. However, my attention was not on them as it suddenly became apparent that I was flying.

    I stayed level with the black clouds, my eyes lazily capturing the scene around myself. I didn't spend two seconds in the air before a city came into view-- Cloudsdale, as the ponies called it. I felt a smirk crawl across my features as I zoomed by the city.

    I heard screams again. My anti-magic cancelled any flight, solid clouds, or order as the entire population of Cloudsdale fell through the floor. It was beautiful, really: the sight of thousands of helpless, flailing bodies in front of the dark red sky, screaming as they fell to their death. They must be so confused, so terrified. So, I accompanied them on their fall.

    I let all focus slip away from myself as my body fell, staying near the pegasi as they followed suit. I saw their wings flapping, their eyes wide, and their hooves clenched as they continued all the way down to the floor. It was quick, when the first one splattered on the floor in a gory, bony mush. One by one did the pegasi die, and I followed swiftly.

    The last feeling I had was my eyes closing.

    "...Oh my, Nurse Redheart, is it truly nessesary to have the door bolted shut? He can't be dangerous, after all!"

    I already liked her.

    "Andrew has had a few sleep-walking related incidents, so he must be under professional, 24/7 supervision."

    "Oh, come now. Subconscious movement never truly hurt anypony, now, has it? And, can I say, I truly adore his name? 'Andrew.' It's very exotic, non? It sounds distinctively... Saddle Arabian."

    And everyone else's name sounds distinctively Candy Shopian.

    I peered to the door of my room, momentarily thinking about using my talent to make the worst impressions of Redheart I could. However, that would just ruin my first impressions with Rarity. I was interested in her.

    She sounded sophisticated, mature, and Junoesque. Those were all things I could definitely get used to in this world. Someone calm and collected, who won't have a mental breakdown when I show them my talent. Well, hopefully she didn't freak out, because I might not remember any education I've had, but I'm not stupid. I know that if we'll start spending time together, she'll eventually find out. I'll just try to tell her when she's in a good mood.

    I realized my eyes had drifted away from my point of interest. With slight effort, my attention shifted back to the door as it opened slowly. In trotted Nurse Redheart, who gave me a "Don't screw this up" glare. I shot back a "Gee, thanks for trusting me" look. Redheart glanced behind her, before trotting into the room. After that, in came another mare...

    ...

    ...Whelp, now I officially know that I am, indeed, straight as Hell.

V: Nurse Redheart

    Is this love?

    I had never seen someone so beautiful-- and that, I can say truthfully. No offense, feminists.

    Her snow white coat resembled the perfect balance of beaueousness and firmness, as if she knew of the beauty she gave off, but was still rooted in charge. Both her mane and tail were curly and purple, but there was so much more than just that. The azure eyes which graced her equally graceful face were locked on me, and in that moment, I knew what Heaven felt like. Because she smiled.

    "Oh!" Rarity exclaimed, the seas of blue never leaving my own. "You must be Andrew! I've heard much about you from Rainbow Dash. My, you're much more handsome than I had expected! Well, I'm glad we can finally meet under better circumstances than before... My friends have been talking about you non-stop since that day!" A look passed on her face. "...I hope that didn't come out too disturbing for you, Darling. I meant nothing of it."

    She called me handsome. And darling. And she was my new housemate indefinitely.

    How long have I been here? Four days? Five days? It didn't matter. It just felt like a roller-coaster of emotion, not a life. Pain, guilt, and anger? Already know 'em. Happiness, friendship, and security? I'd kill to know those guys. But love? Celestia-dammit, I was shaking its warm, fuzzy hoof right now!

    "Tell me, Nurse Redheart, why must a poor, undeserving stallion like this be placed in such... ghastly confinement? He's not a psycho, for Celestia's sake! Why, he's thrust in here comme un cheveu sur la soup!"

Com uhn shuvuh ser la soop... What language is that? I mean, it's definitely far out there if it hasn't clicked with my ever-so expanding knowledge of world culture~.

    I'm being sarcastic, by the way.

    "Andrew has been experiencing frequent acts of somnambulism in the past. We thought it'd be fitting to make sure everything is nice and padded, where no harm can be done."

    Rarity peered over to Redheart's way. "Oh... Somnambulism? Please explain."

    "It's a synonym for noctambulism."

    "Which is?"

    "Sleepwalking, Rarity."

    "Ah."

    The beauty which was Rarity trotted more into the room, the door enveloped in an azure mist before closing gently behind her. The mare pulled a chair up to the side of my bed with her magic, and sat on it afterwards. A warm smile was planted on her features--

Her MAGIC?!

    My focus snapped to the closed door. Then, the chair. Then, Nurse Redheart. The mare's reaction was in my same league, her cyan eyes as wide as saucers as she almost stumbled to the floor. Yet, her hooves eventually caught up with her as she stood again, although her flabbergasted visage stayed intact.

    "Well, I'm sure some bubble wrap paper on the corners of the walls wouldn't have been too much of a fuss," Rarity remarked, meanwhile. Her beautiful smile soon diminished, transforming into a thin line as her eyes met my chest, covered with the sheets of the bed. Rarity let a sympathetic drop enter those blue irises of hers. "I apologize for intruding, but... may I?"

    I was still recovering from the initial shock. I felt numb all over again, and I hoped to whatever God out there that my lunch had made some restraints in my stomach. Nurse Redheart was still staring at me, although her features were gradually growing more stoic, now at the level of "dumbfounded." She looked like a complete idiot, but so did I.

    I tried to recover as smoothly as I could, and by the look on Rarity's face, I thought I did pretty damn well. With a brief nod, the unicorn's horn glowed. Its azure counterpart engulfed the sheets of my bed, drawing them off my chest. I felt the blood rush to my head, and briefly thought of using my talent to keep it from betraying my stoicness.

    Rarity's eyes widened momentarily. I knew they were examining the ugly wound, most likely thinking of the night it was inflicted. The blood, once again, rushed to my face as the unicorn's own turned a shade greener, her eyes unfocusing on the gash. I took that as a sign, and quickly pulled the covers back up.

    Rarity turned away and swallowed. I simply turned away.

    Too much was happening right now! I didn't know what to react to! I just met the single most beautiful pony in my life, just before she developed a good reason to not be impressed by my antics, and had what I believed to be an anti-magic radius around my body be diminished, just like that. Was I still able to even use my ability? I didn't know, and frankly didn't want to test it.

    I was brought back from my thoughts when, after a few seconds, Rarity's appetite was to not see the light of day.

    "I'm sorry, Andrew," she apologized almost immediately. "I thought I could handle it the second time around. I sincerely apologize."

    Great. Now I felt guilty, along with all those other feelings. I was about to apologize, also, but Nurse Redheart stepped in. I was suddenly grateful, too, as I remembered my verbal condition.

    "Rarity, why don't you tell Andrew about his temporary home?" Her voice was pithy and cautious, as if she was afraid of the white unicorn!

    Another one of those sounds only a squeaky toy could make emitted from Rarity. I turned back to the unicorn to see a twinkle in her eye. It was as if she had forgotten all about the wound, and once again, her flamboyant smile resurfaced.

    "Oh! Why, yes. I forgot all about my previous endeavors! Andrew, I hope you'll be just fine staying at the Carousel Boutique..." She paused, as if waiting for a response. Never heard of it. I made that clear with a shake of my head. "Wow, you truly are new in town, I suppose," Rarity acknowledged. "Well, I won't leave you in the unknown. The Carousel Boutique is the head of fashion in Ponyville! It sells a wide variety of dresses and hats, all vended by yours truly. Not only that, but it's also the place I call home. I hope you don't mind pet cats and little sisters, though."

    Can't say I've had either.

    "Well! I suppose you can stay in the guest room-- that is what it is for, after all. My pet cat, Opalescence, shouldn't be a problem-- she doesn't like dusty corners... Don't worry, though! It'll be all tidied up by the time you arrive." Rarity tapped her chin with a hoof. "Tell me, Andrew, are you fond of cats?"

    I bit my tongue. For this long, I had been restraining myself from talking, and for three good reasons: one, being I sounded like a four year old. Two, being I cannot screw up this relationship. She was the only pony I was willing to bunk with indefinitely. And then three, being I sounded like a four year old. All three were unique and downright terrifying in their own way. I glanced Nurse Redheart's way for help. She was giving me a stare, and for a second, I didn't know why. Then, I was reminded of the anti-anti-magic powerhouse sitting beside me. Today was not a good day for me...

    ...Ah, shit. Small words first.

    "Sure," I said plainly. It sounded like a golden attempt to me, but to her (being as civilly educated as she sounded), I sounded like I was from Da Hood. Evident by her face. Well, God dammit.

    "Well, that will be a trait that will bode well," Rarity nodded. "Opal does seem to be around in the most unlikely of situations... As I was saying, I will provide you with a bed, closet, and restroom. I hope it will be enough-- I'm a little tight on money at the moment." A tap of her chin. "I'll have to introduce you to Sweetie Belle when you come over. The eighteen-plus rule to visit is quite unnessesary in my opinion."

    "It is indeed nessesary," Nurse Redheart joined in, trotting beside Rarity. There was noticeably less shakiness in her step, but the unwavering surprise was still cemented in her eyes.

    Rarity peered up at Redheart, letting out a mildly accusing, "Huh." The nurse took that a completely different way, waiting until the unicorn turned back to me before taking a few big steps back, wearing a face like she had juaf dodged a bullet. "Continuing off of my previous topic, early breakfast and late dinner will be provided. You needn't pay anything; you are a guest, after all. Lunch, you will need to go out to eat. I apologize, but hard work never sleeps! I'll have a talk with Pinkie Pie or Applejack, seeing if they'd like to show you the best places to eat. They both know the town like the back of their hoof!" A look passed on her face. "Oh, it's just dawned on me that you haven't met Applejack. Perhaps a brief visit could be arranged...?" Rarity turned to Nurse Redheart expectantly. The latter seemed to object at first, but then reluctantly agreed?? Was Nurse Redheart scared of Rarity?

    ...Wait. Back up a bit. Nurse Redheart is scared of Rarity. I mean... Rarity.

What. The fuck.

    "Excellent!" my new Love was exclaiming meanwhile. "I'll tell her to come over sometime. How's tomorrow sound? ...Fantastic!" Rarity turned back to me. "Applejack is a close friend of mine. She's very congenial, although a bit on the more literal side of things. Either way, I think you two will become great friends."

    I nodded, unfeeling.

    "Well, let's see... You already know my name by now, via Nurse Redheart there. I've told you about your new home and other occupants... Oh, that's right! I've mentioned before that the Carousel Boutique is a public shop, have I not? Many ponies will come in and out a day, so I hope you're fine with visitors. Do not worry, though, nopony is permitted to our private quarters. D'accord, so we've got that out of the way. The room? Check. Food schedule and Ponyville? Check. What did I miss...?" Rarity tapped her chin, looking away in thought for a moment before mentally 'ah-ha!'ing. "Oh, right! Please make sure to wipe your hooves before entering. You'd be surprised by how many customers come in each day with no concern of my property!"

    I nodded yet again. That seemed to calm the unicorn, as she let out a happy sigh, settling back in her chair. The informational side of her face diminished smoothly when she opened her mouth again. "Well, now that all the nit-picky, nessesary details are out of the way, I'll tell you some about myself."

    Yes! About time!

    "As you know, my name is Rarity. I'm an A-list designer and fabricater of dresses, hats, shoes, really anything clothing related! I've lived in Ponyville for most of my life, but I frequently travel to the fashion capitals of the world-- in fact, I'm booked for a flight to Fance this Winter, for a contest."

    I'm no psychologist, but I think she likes clothes.

    "Miss Rarity? Um, this is an interview, not a resumé..." Nurse Redheart joined in, although cautiously. She kept her distance with the fashionista. "Andrew needs some time to rest. Could you...?"

    "Oh! How rude of me. I forgot this was not a casual matter." Rarity's horn glowed once again, placing the chair back in its original corner. Both Redheart and I's eyes were excruciatingly trained on the floating furniture, from its take-off to its descent. "I'm glad I could finally meet you, Andrew, and that you're recovering swimmingly. I hope we'll get to know each other very well in the future!"

    You have no idea, my cheveu sur la soup.

    After a quick thank you to Nurse Redheart, Rarity exited the room with her now memorable grace. The moment that door shut from behind, Redheart dashed to my bedside, snatched the pillow from underneath (the back of my head earning a sudden introduction to the padded wall behind), quickly turned around and sat on my bed, and screamed in that sucker!

    Wait, wait, wait! Ah-ha! She actually--?! Oh, this is GOLD! Nurse Redheart, Queen of Verbal Abuse and Domination, screaming into a pillow. She's finally getting what she deserves! I need to remember this for the rest of eternity! Mind Tape Recorder is now ON! Oh, what does she sound like?

"MMMMMGAAAAHHGG!!"

    Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Nurse Redheart. Having a breakdown. In a pillow. Just... Mwah. Please, show me more of your grief. I need it. For psychological recovery.

    Nurse Redheart finished her initial outburst and turned away. She stayed in that pose for quite some time, and neither of us spoke to one another. I was too busy silently celebrating! Redheart's figure rose and fell as she finally let out a long sigh.

    "Try to see this from my point of view," I heard from the turned mare. Steadily, my ears rose. Her voice was tinged with something I had never heard before. "I don't know... what is going on around here, Andrew--" The first time she said my name without an ounce of venom in her voice? "--But this is... you..." Once again, her face drooped into the pillow with distinct intent. My schadenfreude eventually faded, replaced with slight guilt--

No. Naddah. Nope. I am not feeling bad for her! She's the one who had constantly verbally abused me, put me under (shudder) Stress Tests, and drugged me before redecorating my entire room so I look like a psychopath! That's three solid reasons right there! Rule of Thirds! I win the argument. End of story.

    ...Oh, stop peering off into the distance, Redheart! I'm not falling for your pretentious bullshit. I am God damn immune to your self-pity. ...No, seriously, stop looking away. It's weird-- just... just look at me and cry. So I can see your sadness head-on, of course! Not that I feel bad for you. Come on, be a mare...! God dammit, look at me!

    ...Oh, for buck's...

    ...I feel bad for her. There. I thought it. You happy for this character development bullshit? Just look at her for Celestia's sake! Shit... Now I feel guilty.

    "Four days ago, I met you," Nurse Redheart's voice sounded, whisping away my thoughts like a swift tornado. "You had a hole... straight through your chest. Your heart is destroyed, Andrew. We were stitching you back up when I saw it." The mare shuddered quietly and numbly, holding the pillow close. "Do you know what it's like to have everything you've worked for, your entire life, just... torn down? I've wanted to become a nurse for a long time. I wanted to save lives, Andrew. I wanted to save ponies from what happened to you, but... you're alive. A spear. Straght through your heart." I felt cold inside. Now, I felt complete guilt take over. "Everything you work for, you've sacrificed for, you've strived for, just proven wrong right in your face. Andrew, it feels like you've never been helping anypony to begin with. You just don't know what to believe anymore. You're lost...

    "Three nights ago, you showed me your talent." I felt the warm embrace of embarrassment hug my features. "I was coming back to get some papers, when I saw you fall. I dashed forward, running to catch you, but then... you floated. You avoided death from unavoidable odds. I just couldn't believe it, and the next day you confirm the fact that you have telekinesis, as an earth pony. Not magic - there's no aura. But telekinesis." Nurse Redheart stopped talking, letting a dragged-out sigh escape from her diaphragm. She hesitated on the next part, not wanting to continue. I somewhat knew what was coming, before the bitter information came to light. "I know you were listening two nights ago. In all honesty, I wasn't angry, I was scared. What if Cactus Blossom died, and you just lost control? I know you're not a bad pony, Andrew. Twilight helped me realize it that night." Nurse Redheart's back stayed turned at me as she slowly looked up. "I've seen two clips since then."

    I didn't bother to question her. My ears didn't perk up. I certainly didn't attack. I just...

    I didn't want her to be scared of me, God dammit. I've been alive for four days, and not one has been without anger or sadness. I needed somepony to not be a cause of those.

    "Andrew, I've seen you have friends," Redheart whispered. "I've seen you as your true self. I've seen you gain your powers."

    My hoof started to twitch again, but this time, I stopped it.

    She sighed again. "...I thought I knew what to believe again. You were just different. It wasn't me, it wasn't my profession, it was just you. But then, Rarity walked through that door, and just tore down my beliefs again. Your anti-magic radius has its exceptions, Andrew. Just like my tolerance of... what's been happening." Nurse Redheart stayed calm, the only movement of her being the gentle rising and falling of her back. Her ears were flattened as if a weed hacker had trimmed them off, and the way her head was bowed amplified that impression.

    I stayed quiet, peering at the nurse I previously detested. Why hadn't I seen this before? Of course this was my fault. The very first time I met her I literally ripped open my chest, shattering her life's work. Then, she saw me use my ability redhoofed. Then the clips. Then, my anti-magic radius weakness. Now, I didn't want to know anything about my past; that could wait. I just want her to know something.

    She must've heard me scooting closer, as Redheart immediately stood up and clopped to the floor. Anxiously, she turned around rubbing the back of her head. "A hoofshake will do just fine, Andrew," she stated brusquely. "I'm... not a hugger."

    I sat their awkwardly, my arms stretched out like a bird before I realized what I must've looked like. After quickly adjusting myself and nodding respectfully, I backed up into my resting spot before holding out my hoof. She trotted around the bed before extending her own hoof, and slowly went up and down after gripping mine. The two joined appendages looked like they wrapped around each other snake-like, yet it felt... weird. There's no other way to put it in words besides "two trios of fingers intertwining," but that couldn't do it justice.

    A small, formal smile planted itself on her features, and stayed intact as we shook hooves. I let a complacent curve form on the corner of my mouth, too. Did this mean we were friends? Or, perhaps, acquaintances? Either way, it was an improvement.

    "I'm afraid this doesn't change... a lot of things, but I'll try to go easier on the Stress Tests," Nurse Redheart informed just after her hoof hit the floor again. "I'm normally not supposed to treat somepony differently, but then again, you are no pony."

    At least she knew me well enough to know I didn't take offense. I joined in the inside joke with, "And I'm already different."

    Redheart's smile stayed intact. "Your speech is coming in great." We shared some time together in peace, for the first time in my life. No fights, no levitating something from behind her head, and no glares at backs. We were finally on good terms, and frankly, I enjoyed it more than what I thought revenge would be like.

    "Let's just agree on something," Nurse Redheart put in my head. "No more surprises, both ways."

    I knew what she meant, even if I wished it wasn't so. No more pestering anypony for any information concerning my own life, period. It was unfair in a way, but I didn't want to screw up this relationship. As my teeth resisted the urge to grit, I nodded. My smile, however, diminished to a neutral line.

    "Andrew, please behave yourself, and that... other part of yourself. This will be the mare to show you around town, and the last thing you need is a bad relationship with said pony. And as complimentary advice, Applejack makes a great said pony."

    I nodded intentionally. "I know a few said pownies."

    Redheart gave me a ludic eye before backing out of the doorway, leaving me with my thoughts. It was silent in the small room, the only sounds coming from outside the door. It was muffled, but I heard a collection of fans and AC-units consistently in the hallway. Occasionally, a pony would emit hoofsteps as she walked past the door, and once or twice I heard one of those rolling-bed-thingies squeal by.

    My head went limp, plopping down on the cushioned square known as a pillow. My thoughts steadily drifted toward the events of the previous day. Just how did Rarity pass through my anti-magic radius? Or, was it more like she was cancelling out my talent entirely? I'd have to try something next time we're together. Is it not only Rarity who is immune to it? What about her friends? No, that can't be; Rainbow Dash and Twilight were both impacted when they were here. Pinkie, I have no idea. How many did Pinkie say Dash told about me, again? Five. So, that leaves testing on Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and the last pony, whom I haven't heard of yet. Or, is it something else entirely.

    My brain hurt from just thinking about it. I was half expecting my nose to bleed, or at least a simple whimper, but none of those came. Looks like I was well on my way to normal-ponyness...

    ...Ah, screw it. That won't come for a long time.

"...say Ah've ever seen nuthin' like it," came an apprehensive, muffled voice. The thick accent reminded me of cacti for some reason. "Ah' mean, I'm no medical pony, but Ah' know somepony jus' don't survive a wound like that. It scared the horseapples outta Fluttershy! Almost gave Twi' a heartattack, too. Rainbow definitely handled it th' best, thank Celestia. Ah' mean, I know yer' a medical... 'doctor pony'(?), an' ya know what yer' doin'. But, Ah've got to ask: how the Hell did he survive?" A few seconds of silence passed. When the Southern mare spoke again, the anxiety was radiating from just outside the door. "Pardon mah' Fancy. An' no offense to Andrew. But how does somepony survive a spear through the heart?"

    "I could answer that," Nurse Redheart confided. "But, wouldn't you like to hear it from Andrew himself?"

    A pause.

    "He's right behind this door, ain't he?" Applejack clarified, questioning. Another beat. Most likely Redheart nodding. "Ah. Didn't know that, aheh... Well, Ah' guess he should've heard that after all. Never was any good at keeping secrets, anyway."

    "You'll be surprised by how much he's improved," Nurse Redheart notified. A beam of phlegm warmed me.

    The door to my room opened, letting in some color as Nurse Redheart stepped in. A knowing glance from her and solid mettle from me was all the conversation we had. Then, the white earth pony advanced into the cushioned room, making way for the newcomer: Applejack. She entered the room with a sort of modest confidence, her chest puffed out slightly as her tail was held high. Still, a friendly smile and calm eyes implanted the theme of amity in her face. Applejack's coat was a darkish orange, yet I noticed a fair amount of bruises and scrapes on the hardened muscles, almost exclusively on the legs. Green eyes shone from under the brim of a Stetson hat, which covered an unkept, blonde mane. I knew said mane existed via the exit of the hat from her head. She reached up and grabbed the accessory, before holding it down to her chest. A coy chuckle sounded from her.

    "Ah' apologize for talkin' behind yer' back, Mr. Andrew," she defended weakly. "Well, err... it's mighty nice to meet ya! Let's get started." She made her way to my bedside, extending a hoof. I took it, and she shook it lead-footedly. "Name's Applejack. But Ah' guess ya already know that. Ah'll be your guide for Ponyville when ya get out, along with Pinkie Pie."

Pinkie Pie? Celestia-dammit, I forgot she was helping, too! Seriously, I don't think I need any more insanity in my life. But, to spare any negativity, I held my tongue with laborious politeness...

    ...She's looking at my chest. Of course. Laborious politeness my ass. I sent a glare her way.

    "Sorry!" she quickly apologized. "My mistake. But, uh... ya honestly can't blame me, can ya?"

    Nurse Redheart smirked. I gave a stinted smile. Applejack rubbed the back of her head, putting her Stetson back on. "Yeah. Guess there's no gettin' outta that one. Can we move along now?"

    "Uh-huh," said I. Thankfully, Applejack's attention derived from the stitches on my chest. For some reason, the gash started to itch again. The urge was resisted, out of exasperation of the mare's attention to the wound.

    "Well, 'suppose Ah' better start with informalities," Applejack chuckled. "Ya already know mah' name, but Ah'm also the head of Sweet Apple Acres! Family ran, homemade, and Manufacturer of only the best apples an' apple pastries! We also sell our famous apple cider, critically acclaimed at that! Hard or soft, too!"

    Is it just me, or do all Rainbow Dash's friends own a shop, one way or another?

    "Your friend Rarity was also passionate about her work," Nurse Redheart put in from behind.

    "One of the only things we have in common," AJ grinned. I noticed the aura of meekness was gently wearing off.

    The next hour was spent listening to Applejack explaining herself, her family, and her work. Apparently, she lived with a big brother, little sister, and grandmother (all of which equally passionate in their work. One of which acceptably doing the work.). A farm was her home, including an expansive land which held the actual apples-- she charged everypony for each and every apple they took, domesticated or not. She didn't talk much about her actual self, leaning more towards telling me about her friends, but I got enough by myself. Hard-working, definitely. Tough, competitive, half laid-back, half tear-through-Ponyville-to-catch-that-pesky-apple-stealing-varmint. A fraction as pugnacious as Rainbow Dash, but at least 1.5x as strong. Utterly disgusted by Rarity's "Lady Antics" (I think I felt some fur bristle at her low view of Her Majesty's unbeatable charm), but still tolerant of their differences. Same goes with Fluttershy (who's apparently an animal pony) and Twilight (who's apparently not a talkative one. Who woulda thought?). Her only similarity with Pinkie was the mere fact they were going to be my escorts. She wasn't even sure they existed in the same universe.

    Applejack was, indeed, that pony.

    Sometimes, you can't resist.

    I know what they told me. I know the looks on their faces, the tears on the cheeks. I remember the way they screamed at me, they cried. A blender of voices, my ears the blade assembly.

    "I know how easy it is," they were screaming calmly. "I know that you might think it's the right thing to do. That you can still retain your morality. That this is just one, the only one, exception. You're thinking, this isn't someone on the street. This isn't someone that has something to live for. This is HIM. JUST. Him. The person who ruined your life, beat you mercilessly, never behaved like the person he was supposed to be. This is the person who blames you for everything. Even her death. You would only kill this man... JUST this man... He deserves it. The police were going to do it if you didn't.

    "But... listen to me. You do not want to go down that road. It's like a steep hill. If you pull that trigger, it'll kill you just as much as him. What happens next time you're pushed to the edge? You'll think 'just this once' again. You'll blind yourself with more reasons, less irrational than the last. Then, the next and the next and the next. Before you know it, your standards are destroyed. Your morality is gone. You're wanted, you're constantly on the run, and you're in hellacious regret. I know this to be true.

    "You have people you love. You are young. You are nothing like me. I'm a murderer, a criminal. I kill people for fun. And it all started with the very situation you're in. 'Just this once.'"

    My ears were deaf to their pleas. The gun's barrel was now drawing blood, the pressure increasingly painful for my victim. I twisted and pushed on it, the forehead underneath at my complete mercy. His eyes were closed, not in pain, but in respect. The very first ounce of respect he's had of me. But, it was too little, too late. A lowering of the head and a closing of the eyes for a lifetime of pain. Of feeling horrible about myself. Of constantly enduring his drunk rage, his blind blaming, and most importantly, his distrust. He never deserved my love. He never deserved my respect. He never deserved my mercy. And if I was going to go down this path as a consequence, so be it.

    I pulled the trigger. Instantly, the crowd ceased all noise. My vision was engulfed with a creamy white as, suddenly, I was falling backwards. I couldn't see much, besides the bottom of Cloudsdayle, slowly wisping away. Above me were thousands upon thousands of ponies falling with me. They were screaming, flailing, and crying almost as much as I would have, if I had any control.

    But, I have no control.

    It was, apparently, "hospital policy."

    The tough fabric underneath reminded me of a hammock of sorts. If, of course, said hammock was suspended by a metal bar just behind the back of my neck, another under my backside, and the last below my knees. In fact, that was exactly what it was. An uncomfortable, mobile hammock.

    "...yes, her. She's for patient pickup; Andrew. ...Yes, that is his name. What were you expecting, Summer Cupcake? He didn't get to choose."

    I was at the main level of the Ponyville Hospital. In front of me was Nurse Redheart, her back turned to me as she jawed away with another doctor; a gray stallion with orange eyes and blue hair, behind a counter. Medical mumbo jumbo, papers, and even more medical mumbo jumbo was filed on the counter top, a certain clipboard between him and Redheart. It was around the time Rarity came and picked me up, along with my "complimentary wheelchair." As if I needed any more embarrassment. My eyes wandered to the rest of the relatively large room, letting my chin rest on a hoof as a brusque eyebrow was raised. To my right was a row of five metal chairs attached to the wall just behind. A few meters more, and the wall bent into a corner (a small decorative tree resided in front of the crease) before repeating the furniture's placement. After the chairs ended, there was a set of double doors leading to the outside world. Sunlight passed through the windows around me, two on my wall and two on the other, to greet each other in the middle. Two twin windows on the double doors also put in their grain of salt. The floor was tile, and I could just barely see my reflection if I looked down.

    Nurse Redheart, the stallion, and I were the only ones in the base level.

    Moments later, the first mentioned pony finished her conversation. The papers returned to their original spot, under the counter, after the stallion wrote something with a red marker on them. Redheart nodded, before making her way back to me, grabbing my wheelchair handles, and pushing away.

    "If you need help with anything," she said before I could. "You know where to find me."

    I nodded. But, for now, her attention would have to wait. I was finally going outside! Out of this hospital hell hole! No more Stress Tests, broken Automatic-IV machines, or...

    ...victims.

    My excitement died just as swiftly as it came. Nurse Redheart must have seen my attitude change, as she laid a counseling hoof on my shoulder. It was warm and gentle, unlike the calculating manner she was infamous for. "Cactus Blossom will be open for meetings next week. Come whenever you'd like, and I'll make sure you can get an appointment. Anypony who says otherwise can take it up with me."

    An appreciative smile planted itself on my features. We were nearing the double doors now, and I felt my hooves twitch with excitement at the sunshine outside.

    "Andrew?" I heard from behind. "I'd take a few days to get used to your surroundings, and--" her voice lowered to a whisper. "--new body. Practice jogging and running a few times each day, and be patient. It'll come slowly, but soon you'll have full control. And please try to refrain from using your talent..." She paused. "...You're just going to do it anyways, I suppose. Try to keep it a secret as long as you can, but when the time finally comes, bring whoever saw you to me."

    I nodded. I was definitely going to practice my limits in the future, but for now, a secret it was. I quickly devised three exact rules to keep Redheart satisfied: 1. No using it on living things. 2. I shouldn't use it when I'm angry. That's it. And 3. No using it in public.

    ...Woah. Déjà vu.

    "Good luck, Andrew," Nurse Redheart urged finally, as she stopped my wheelchair just in front of the double doors. She trotted forward, pushing the doors open.

    "Thanks for everything," I said numbly.

VI: Fancy Fancy

    What kind of house-carousel hybrid is this place?

    It was as if a beauty pageant and household cottage got together one night and made do like there was no tomorrow. The atmosphere smelt of rare perfume, fresh fabrics, and raw amiability. While the outside took after its boutique parent, the interior was an even mix between the two. The entire house was different shades of purple and pink (is that a thing here?), and I desperately hoped the guest room was adopted.

    The living room, or what I assumed it to be, was circular. Several mannequins were lined up on the curved wall, some hosting flamboyant designs of Rarity's beautacious creativity, as if she would come back for the survivors. But for now, they were butt naked. Surrounding each of the mannequins lay at least five rolls of string or fabric each, a few pins, and the occasional crumbled up paper. A large, fancy mirror made up a good portion of the wall to my right, and sticky notes dominated the glass to a gory submission. A circular carpet, purple in color (*sigh*), was laid in the center of the room to soften the weight of a tall wardrobe, brown and yellow making up its details. Oblivious to all of this was a staircase to my left, leading up to an unknown place.

    "I do apologize for the mess," Rarity was saying as she peered from over my shoulder. "I told Sweetie Belle to tidy up the place while I was gone. Well, you know how little fillies are... Come to think of it, I guess you don't, considering your state."

    "Yeah, thank Lesbian Mane for telling you that," I wanted to say. Instead, I nodded, stepping slowly into the house. This was my first time in an actual home, or at least, a half of one.

    "Do you admire it?" Rarity questioned from behind.

    I gave a nod, sparing the generous unicorn's feelings. "Yeah, I like it."

    "Excellent!" she exclaimed, trotting in front of me. "I had a few arrangements in order, but if you're comfortable as it is, I'll be sure to cancel them beforehoof." I slapped myself telekinetically when she wasn't looking. Rarity tapped her chin with a snow white hoof. "Sweetie Belle has been begging me for a chance to see you, Andrew. Do you mind if I call her down?"

    I gestured a nonchalant "sure." Rarity smiled, before trotting to the staircase at my left, and making her way up to it. "Sweetie Belle," she sang gleefully. I glanced up her way as she disappeared behind the corner, calling out for her younger sister, before trotting into the Carousel Boutique's main area. It was large for a humble boutique. Not saying that I've had any experience with boutiques in my day, but something tells me they're about the same size as an average house. Which I also have minimal experience with. "Sweetie Belle, Andrew is here, and-- oh, my Celestia, what have you done?!"

    I think I have minimal experience with sisterhood now.

"No, no, NO! This shade of brown should only be used for accents! Do you know how long I've been working on this?! Sweetie Belle, put that paint brush down! Now!"

    There was some shuffling, followed by begrudged groaning from a noticeably higher-pitched voice. I started to kick my hoof awkwardly, and after a few glances around, I used my talent to levitate a spare needle over to my face. I peered at it, and soon found myself admiring the sharpness of the needle.

    It was then I remembered my third rule: no using it in public. ...Was this place what I'd consider public? It was a house, but it was also a shop. Still, considering Rarity's want for me to get out during work hours leans more towards private. ...Well, I guess I can consider this place levitation-friendly when my unicorn host wasn't pushing me out the door.

    Muffled footsteps derived my focus from the needle. I looked down to see a snow white chinchilla cat just in front of me, its eyes wide with curiosity. I figured this was Opalescence, the household cat of Rarity's. For a while, we stood there, and no move for first introductions were made. She wore a purple (for Celestia's sake...) necklace that showed off a slightly ostentatious blue emerald in the middle of the strap, with two smaller diamonds on each side. A light purple ribbon held the hair on her head in a tight bunch, almost looking like a tree sprout on her noggin. Pale yellow eyes peered up at me almost premeditatedly. She had a long face, almost football-shaped, and her mouth was angled down in an aloof frown.

    I was the first to break the ice.

    After kneeling down and sitting on my rump so my lower hooves were bent, I was on her level. Opal seemed to notice, and her thick fur almost made her look like she quickly slithered my direction. When Opalescence was within range, I extended a hoof, and she smelt it. She didn't purr, though, only smelt. A bemused look appeared on her face.

    Hoofsteps lead me from my developing trance. I flicked the needle across the room and stood up, Opalescence staying put in front of me. Rarity, meanwhile, peered out from the staircase and smiled. She had an innocent visage on, and...

    ...Is that a trick? It sure feels like it. Otherwise, why would my face suddenly be burning right now?

    "One moment, please," she susurrated pleasantly. Her head went back to behind the wall. There was a few seconds of silence before Rarity's sister came trotting from the corner.

    She was a small filly, having a snow white coat much resembling her older sibling's. I could tell it was padded and combed vigorously just moments ago, although that could easily come from her siisterhood with the equally matted unicorn standing just beside her. A purple and pink, curly mane and tail adorned her body while green eyes peered up at me, a tinge of truculence peircing through her eyes. She was butt-tattooless.

    "...Hi," she greeted simply. I waved my hoof a little. Was she really the filly that wanted to see me? Things seemed pretty dead around her.

    "Sweetie Belle is familiar with how you came to," Rarity explained. I nodded, figuring how witnessing a pony being dragged through a forest with a bloody hole through his chest and back, leaving a trail of blood like the main character of some modern FPS, could really put a slight dent in the enthusiasm of meeting them. "But, Sweetie, remember how much you wanted to make sure he was alright?" Sweetie glanced up to her sister. Rarity, meanwhile, gestured at me, looking at the wound on my chest.

    I blinked with slight rile, before puffing out said part of my body. Sweetie Belle looked back at me, and saw the stitches. "It's not as bad as you'd think," I said nonheartedly.

    Sweetie Belle's eyes were glued to my chest. She stared, seemingly for minutes, before Rarity put a hoof on her shoulder. "Sweetie Belle," she began. "I think--"

    "I need to do some things," Sweetie Belle inturrupted, before pushing past Rarity and dashing back up the stairs.

    I gave Rarity a knowing look. "Did she ever really want to see me?"

    "Yes, she did," Rarity answered, sighing. "I suppose your injuries might have shocked her. No matter. Give her a few days, and I'm sure she'll warm up to you." The white unicorn noticed her pet beside me. "Oh, I see you've met Opalescence! I hope she hasn't bothered you much." Rarity gave a gesture to the cat, and Opal let out an annoyed growl before making her way to the unicorn's side. "She can be quite unfriendly to visiting ponies."

    I bit my lip.

    Rarity peered at the boutique which had suddenly appeared around her. Her ears slowly flattened to her skull, and her eyes slowly widened, as if she was only currently realizing her errors. "...Once again, truly sorry about the mess. I did tell Sweetie to..." She pouted. "There really is no way I can play this off, it seems. Would you like a brief tour of the house?"

    Rarity was in enough embarrassment as it was. I nodded, and that encouraged a grateful smile from the mare. She started trotting forward, gesturing with a nod of her head for me to follow. With a brief glance at a place where little colts would get slapped for, I followed.

    The days are blurring.

    The calendar flings me across its long and expansive grid of a surface, and the black lines seem just as thick as the white interiors. I see the days pass, then the weeks, then the hours. I'm fidgeting back and forth in early December, on a thin line, fifty feet from the spikes littering the floor. The expanse of a gigantic, Hellish red curtain is all I see from up to down, and the thin line I was balancing on stretched out for as far as I could see horizontally. I was in my natural state now; I was a human.

"For years, humans and ponies everywhere have been mistified by the concept of balance," said a young, optimistic voice from beyond the curtain. I tried focusing on the noise, but my brain instantly refused to listen to anything I had to say. Still, his voice penetrated my hearing, and my heart. That voice was familiar. "What is balance, exactly? No, not the physical balance of standing on a small surface, but mental balance? That unheard of state of mental stability, when a pony, *or human,** can spend days on that tight rope, all the while becoming calmer and saner?"* The crowd hissed at the mention of the word "sane" as if it was a hideous swear. "That position of mind, when we can see straight, and we make rational decisions-- decisions we won't regret for the rest of our lives; the ones which we come out to like instead of hate!"

    I knew that voice. I knew the person with that voice. What was his name?

    The realization was just out of reach, tantalizingly close in every aspect, and angering me to no end.

"Fillies and colts, boys and girls, ladies and gentlecolts, and gentlemen.--" The crowd grew silent at his drawling. "--May I present to you the main event of the evening. The human-pony hybrid. The telekinetic sane one. The person-stallion who took down the tyrant queen and tumbled her castle to the bottom of the mountain, Mr. Andrew Detmer."

    I heard faint booms. They were quiet and far off, yet I knew their pattern. One of the tyrants of sound bumped into hearing, then three seconds were spent in dead silence, then another boom. It kept tenacious to the rythym:

Boom... boom... boom...

    I saw gentle shifting in the red curtain, swaying back and forth gently. The sound kept coming, the beat kept persisting, until it grew loud in volume. It turned out to be the curtain's folds crashing into each other, gathering to make a bigger and bigger cylinder of heavy cloth. The tumultuous sliding of the racked cloth raced to me, and suddenly, I felt scared, for there were people and ponies beyond the curtain. The glimpses I saw told me that no seats adorned the endless theater of countless participants; it was just a transparently white mist gathered in a dark red building, full of people and ponies alike. The ones who caught glimpses of me glued their eyes on my body, and I shrunk.

    The curtain shot past me. Now, I could not escape. Everybody/pony had a perfect sight of me.

    And they were all staring.

    Nobody/pony moved, and all was silent. They only stared. I felt the entire population of two worlds' collective stare, all on my tiny, pathetic body. Every inch of myself was being bombarded with glares, peers, and neutral looks. All were equally terrifying.

    Then, they started laughing.

    At first, I was confused. Then, I was enraged. They were all laughing at me, on this thin line of life, upon this thin line of sanity. They laughed and laughed, pointing fingers and hooves, accusing eyes filled with tears, and mouths open in a solidly laughing state.

    "Stop it," I muttered weakly. They seemed to notice, as they only laughed harder and harder. "Stop it!"

    They kept pointing. They kept staring. They kept laughing.

    They kept angering. They kept enraging.

    They kept asking for it.

"Shut UP!" I shouted, and I used my talent to pick up two from the crowd, a mare and man, and slam them together with all my might. They were reduced to gory mush showering the ones below. Everybody/pony only laughed harder. Some held their stomachs at their exhausting efforts. Others, particularly the fat ones, started to kneel and continue their laughing, although confided to pathetic whimpering and wheezing. "SHUT THE HELL UP!" I picked up another pair. A stallion and young girl. I smashed them together, too. Again, the spray of blood and organs showered the audience below. Some of the occupants started crying, not of laughter, but during laughter. Others were on their hands and knees, and others were hugging their knees. Still, all laughed, so I attacked all. I kept smashing, crushing, and throwing the occupants of the theater, never once concerned about my balance. My kills were exact and unrelenting, and my rage was truculent. One by one the flies fell in pieces, cut in half, or decapitated; until I started killing them in threes, then fours, then fives. The laughter eventually died down as, after a brief fling of the calendar, I killed the very last pony.

    I was alone now, up here on this wire of sanity. I was shaking and crying, my vision red and my limbs spasming with pugnacious anger. I wished for more victims, but none presented themselves. Everybody/pony was dead; every last one of them. I levitated myself to the floor to get a good look at my achievement.

"You have no conviction at all," that familiar voice sounded beside me. His voice was still booming loud, as if he was still announcing to the dead occupants of the theater. I turned to see a pitch black, humanoid shadow. "It is a wonder I could ever consider you a friend, Andrew. Yet here we are. You probably don't even know if this is a dream, but I do. And I've waited a long time to see you again."

    I tilted my head.

"Look at us now. What a shithole we got ourselves into, huh? No memory for you, no body for me, and nobody for Matt. But do not worry. You will remember, sooner or later."

    There was a pause. The figure took a step forward tentatively. I didn't budge. To my surprise, his next words were full of emotion.

"...I love you, man. I know you don't recognize me, but God damn, I miss you, but you went into a place I couldn't go... Don't give in to the insanity, Andrew."

    Without warning, he started to glow blue, and electrical shocks started running up and down his visage. He started shaking, and his eyes were wide with saddened realization. He spasmed and jolted uncontrollably, and reached out a hand.

"YOU WENT INTO A PLACE I COULDN'T GO."

    My vision was engulfed in cyan as blue lightning shot at the figure, knocking me out to the sight of him dying.

    And I felt guilty.

"Gah-! Shit!!"

    Opalescence squeaked, giving the covers on my chest a firm scratch before hurling herself from the bed and dashing from the room. I stayed wide-eyed that entire time, imitating Opal's method of saying "good morning." After taking a few seconds to recover from shock, I groaned, settling back in my bed. My chest throbbed a little, although it wasn't too much pain. I laid a hoof on the wounded chest, and for a few seconds, the feeling of no heart beating was alien to me. Then, it eventually settled, and then I welcomed the stillness.

    I yawned wide before stretching. Bad idea. I instantly payed for my actions, as my chest was stretched abnormally. I cringed from the needles of pain, and yet again, took some time to recover.

    The rest of the morning was unique to me. My first wake-up not to a white ceiling and tile floors did not go by ungraciously. My first actual breakfast was two delicious waffles, topped with hot syrup and puffy whipped cream, with juicy strawberry halves sprinkled on the meal. I let my gratitude be known to Rarity again and again, after each mouth-watering bite, and after each spasm of pleasure. I never knew somepony could orgasm cause of food, but now I knew all too well. Sweetie Belle gave me an amused look, yet that was all the relationship development I got.

    It wasn't until Pinkie Pie and Applejack showed up that Rarity pushed me out the door.

    "Perfect timing, too!" she was exclaiming excitedly, looking at the clock overhead. Another trio of knocks sounded from the door behind her. "I'm just about to open. Well, I wish you luck with your first official look at Ponyville! And, please do be patient with Pinkie." Rarity pulled open the door, revealing the duo of earth ponies just outside.

    Applejack was at the helm, and when the door opened she tipped her wide Stetson hat and smiled a greeting. "Howdy, Andrew! Rarity."

    The two friends greeted each other before a poke on my rump made me jump, and Pinkie giggled from behind. "Ooh, I'm gonna have fun with that one!"

    I flicked my tail to cover the victim of her prying. "Hey, Pinkie."

    "Pinkie Pie!" Rarity gasped at her gesture. "Such audacity! Where are your manners?"

    "Manners?" Pinkie blinked. "What are those? Can you eat them?"

    Applejack giggled a little curtly, trotting to Rarity's side. "Ah'm sure he don't mind a few prods at his cutie mark spot, Rarity. Not everypony's a polite little Irene."

    "Believe me, I know," Rarity hinted, giving the two mares a look. When no other conversation was had, Pinkie continued the day's unfolding.

    "Well, Mr. Andrew," she chippered, making her way to Applejack's side. "Ready to go? We've planned out the entire tour! First, we'll head down to the Carousel Boutique, which might take a while, but then it'll be a short trot to Sugarcube Corner, then we'll head on down to the Carousel Boutique--"

    "Pinkie, how's about we just show him?" Applejack suggested with an affable smile.

    "Duly noted, but we have to plan ahead first!"

    "Ah' think I should lead."

    "Aww, but you led last time!"

    "There was never... never mind. Pinkie, you can tell him about the places we pass, and Ah'll lead. That sound good?"

    "Well, it'll ruin my plans to imply some potential illusionism, but I'll get that eventually."

    "... Andrew, ya ready t' go?"

    Rarity gave a small nod and smile out of the corner of my eye. Her two friends were patient, and only smiled so when I was slow to answer, "Yeah."

    Their smiles widened, and Applejack gestured over her shoulder. "Well, come on, then!" She started trotting away, and Pinkie followed almost compliantly. I said a quick thank you to Rarity, before trotting out into Ponyville for the first time.

    It was sunny outside. Above was the bright and orange causer, laying lazily in a sea of calm, cyan skies. Occasionally a cloud or two would drift into focus, but their entrance was never too noticeable, and they were always welcome. Below lay the town I was residing in, and it was overflowing with profuse gaiety. Around me were houses, looking more like decked out cottages, splaying across the location in an organized fashion. The houses were mostly white with wooden supporters running up and down the outside, a firm and firmly brown roof resting on top. Occasionally I saw a pony in a window watering their plants, or waving to their friends. Speaking of which, below was what looked like a curly grid of sidewalks, grass and the occasional gravel making up the space between the paved trails. A dozen ponies walked this way and that, their stride resignating amity and equality. While unicorns and earth ponies walked upon the ground and pavement, some pegasi were flying overhead, peering down and landing on clouds--

Wait, what?

    I stopped in my tracks, my neck craned up dumbfoundedly. Sure enough, a few of the winged equines were standing, sitting, and trotting on the puffs of clouds. Well, that explained my control over them.

    I took a moment to recover before following Applejack and Pinkie Pie. The pink mare had taken the pleasure of bounding ahead, hopping up like her legs were springs, and coming down like they were magnets. "This is the Carousel Boutique!" she chippered, before her mouth turned into a race car engine yet again.

    I took this time to study the actual ponies around us. The ratio between species was about equal, yet the different sexes were anything but. For every five mares, I saw one stallion and maybe, if I was lucky, a colt. That thought obviously had some friends, and they were more than happy to meet my mind.

    "How're ya likin' yer' temporary home so far?" Applejack asked, peering at me with a friendly smile.

    "It's cozy," I answered, looking her in the eyes. "I made friends with Opal, I guess. Rarity's little sister is allergic to grotesque holes through the chest."

    AJ shivered, most likely rembering her first encounter with me. Meanwhile, Pinkie kept rattling off about the town around us, which I could clearly see. "Ah' thought Ah' was too, at first. But, about mah' question, Ah' don't mean jus' Rarity's house."

    I felt my blood freeze. I slowed considerably, staring at Applejack with unbelief. She kept walking, oblivious to my hesitation.

    ...Does she know I'm not from here?

    "Ah' mean Ponyville!" she finished up. I sighed out of relief, speeding up to catch up to her.

    "I haven't been here long," I explained. "But... it looks nice. Don't have anywhere to compare it to, but yeah, it looks nice."

    "Ah' know it'll grow on ya," Applejack surmised, smiling to herself. A group of mares passed us, no stallion in sight. I cringed, and felt unconfident. "And, ya made friends with Opalesation, or whatever her name is? That cat's grumpier than a rotten apple!"

    I tilted my head. "She didn't seem like it."

    "...and that is how I know the Fourth Wall is glass!" Pinkie was finishing, before she stopped in front of a giant ice cream cone...

    ...wait, that's a house?

    It wasn't tall-- ten feet or so, but Celestia damn if it wasn't sky high in flamboyancy. It was basically a... big strawberry ice cream cone. Seeming to rise up from the ground in circles and spheres, the building in front of me was a solid shade of pink, a light white rounding the arches of the circles. A single door and window above, along with the fact it wasn't edible, were the only reasons my mouth didn't water. It was straight from a Dr. Seuss book.

    "Sugarcube Corner's the name, baking pastries' the game!" Pinkie giggled. "Ran by the three best bakers on this side of the Everfree, including moi. Every glazed donut, frosted donut, filled donut, and any other X donut comes from this place, along with the donuts' many relatives: the cupcake, the cake, the cinnabon, the cheese cake..."

    Once again, her mouth turned into a car engine and raced in the Indy 500.

    "Applejack, is the gender ratio the same everywhere here?" I asked earnestly. I might not be educated, but I'm not a complete dumbass. This place was not going to be the best for bro-time.

    That caught AJ by surprise, understandingly. "The gender what-now...? Oh! Right." The mare tapped her chin briefly as we walked. That was a bad sign. "Ah' can't say Ah've been 'round Equus like Rarity or Flutters, but Ah've seen a few places here in Equestria. Can't really say Ah've seen much of a difference with the guys an' gals, besides Canterlot. They're about equal there."

    Well, that didn't help.

"...And so, even though nopony has bothered to listen to me for this long, I have now told you the story of how I stopped an intergalactic war with the Blofigans, and saved Equus," Pinkie finished, before a light bulb turned on in her head. With a gasp and a grin, she turned on me. "Andrew! Hey! Hey, Andrew! Andreww! Andrew? Andrew! Mr. Andrew! Hey, Andrew!"

    "Yes, Pinkie?" I asked, resisting the urge to telekinetically slam her mouth shut. Applejack chuckled.

    "My story just reminded me! Since you don't have any memory of any food besides my own cake and that gross hospital food, would you like to come in? It'd be on the house-- no payment nessesary, only friendship!"

    I was hesitant. No offense to the pink euphoriatron-5000 in front of me, but friendship was some time away. "I'm fine, thanks. Maybe later."

    She was persistent. "Pfft. Now's the perfect chance! It's Throwback Thursday-- we're having frosted lemonade and cinnabons!"

    I don't even know what those are.

    "Sorry, Pinks, I just ate. Really. Why don't we continue on with the tour?"

    "And let my voice faze out so you and Applejack can talk about the setting? No way, José! We need some quality bonding time, you and I, if we're gonna stick together around these parts."

    I scratched the back of my head shamefully. Somehow, I knew Applejack knew I was making up excuses. "I'm, uh... alergic."

    Pinkie tilted her head, before laughing. "Oh, so that's why...! Easy fix! What are you allergic to, exactly? I'm sure we have some products that'll suite you."

    "I'm allergic to deliciousness."

...What the buck? Did I seriously just say that? Deliciousness?

    I felt my face act on its own accord. Now I'm not so sure if I'm not a complete dumbass, but I sincerely hoped Pinkie didn't suffer so.

    Pinkie took that excuse to heart, evident by the expression on her face which suggested I had just admitted to being a mare all along. Applejack's face resignated smug content, and if she was previously going to address my dishonesty, now was a different story. Pinkie Pie stayed silent for a few seconds, before tears came to her eyes, and she sniffled, walking to me and pulling me into a hug. I peered at AJ, but her face still held that same shit-eating grin as she trotted into Sugarcube Corner, leaving me for dead. Pinkie's sniffling, meanwhile, escalated to full-on crying, then sobbing. I saw a group of ponies passing by give me a confused glare, before they recognized the pink mare on my shoulder, and then giggled and continued on. My entire face burnt, and I bit my lip, looking away.

    "I'm sorry...!" Pinkie finally sniffled out, squeezing around me tightly. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to cry, it's just that... Andrew, I could never imagine what pain you're going through! Being allergic to... Oh, I can't say it!" My shoulder fur was drenched with tears, and it was then I realized what I had done. My ears flattened to my skull.

    "I didn't mean it like that, Pinkie--!?" I started hurriedly, trying to push her off, but she must've been a bodybuilder under all that pink fluff. She wouldn't budge. "Dude, can you let go? It's getting weird."

    "Nothing is weird about this catastrophe!" the pink mare sniffed. "It's only unfair! Unfair and cruel! How could you be so victimized by the cruel mistriss known as Life?! I just can't believe it-- I can't imagine trotting through town, and seeing a scrumptious treat suit for your empty stomach, and going, 'Oh, I'm sure one bite can't hurt-- HMPH?! *BLEGH!'*** (That's my throwing up and having a seizure sound.)"

    My face and ears were both on fire, and every confused eye, realization, and knowing chuckle from the passing ponies only added fuel to the fire. "P-Pinkie, let go!" I stuttered, trying to wrench myself free, but her iron grip wouldn't have it.

"Shh!" Pinkie said suddenly, all signs of sadness gone from her face. Her arms shifted to around my back. "No words!" Without warning, Pinkie swung me into a 'swooning lover' pose, standing on her hind legs and holding me from my back, face up, my mane barely scraping the floor. "Just *emotions!*"

    Oh, fuck me.

    The wildfire spread from my head to pretty much every part of my body. This mare is either really insane, or really on drugs. Or, really convincing. Or kind of sexy.

    Pinkie rattled on again. This time, I payed attention to every word: "I cannot stand by and watch a fellow pony be put through so much pain! Seeing those delicious pastries, and having to just keep walking! Most likely hanging on a diet of yucky vegetables and tomatoes! THOSE SHOULD BE A VEGETABLE, MIND YOU, BUT THOSE BASTARD SEEDS JUST HAD TO BE IN THERE! ...No. I will not let this happen." Pinkie grabbed me by the shoulders and brought me inches-- no, milimeters from her face. Her eyes had the fire of determination, and her voice was firm and unrelenting. "We must fight fire with fire, Andrew! We must push back the enemy of allergies, using their own weapon! That cake I gave you that day was only the beginning, my comrade. (Granted, you didn't throw up and have seizures, you only levitated off the floor for a few seconds.)"

    I whispered hoarsly, "PINKIE! SHUT UP!"

    "No! I will not be silenced! You must quench the fire! Appease your wants! Follow that burning in your loins! I don't care if that was an innuendo! We must conquer the diabetes!--" Her voice suddenly resignated with a Spanish accent. "--Yess.--" It returned to normal. "To the frontlines with you!" With that, Pinkie suddenly hoisted me up and threw me into the double doors of Sugarcube Corner.

    Life lesson learned. Never make excuses to Pinkie Pie again.

VII: Not Living, Not Even Alive

    I don't think it ever occurred to me that Pinkie was, shall we say, batshit insane?

    I mean, she's a nice pony and all (when she's not throwing me through wooden furniture, giving me seizure-inducing foods, or imagining her little Pyromania of a world in that head of hers while she disintegrates my patience) but, let's be honest. The vivacious glare in those cyan irises are the first warning of an impending storm of a surprise party assassination, if she hasn't already casually trotted over the shattered remains of the Fourth Wall, or broke the lays of physics for the seven thousandth time.

    Now, I might not know a whole lot about myself, but I'm starting to get an unfriendly vibe each time the conversation shifts over to moi. Also, I'm not getting a lot of confidence concerning myself, unless if it has something to do with my "talent." And, my fetish with a certain glowing sphere at nighttime, and the element of fire, both have not gone unnoticed.. In fact, now that I think of it...

    ...Please, whatever god is out there, please don't let me be goth in my past life. I'll become any religion in the book if you grant that one wish.

     I checked my wrists, glancing down at them from my seat on the table. Thankfully, no scars adorned the skinny, peach apendages. Now, if I only knew what I looked like, I'd had some form of reassurance.

     ...Did you hear that, God/Allah/Celestia?

    Pinkie, meanwhile, finished her thoughts on teleportation theories (rather abruptly, might I add) to gasp and stare at me. "All this talking, and I almost forgot to mention it! Silly Pinkie, Sirleh Pinkeh!--" Pinkie rubbed her own head and smiled. Yeah, she was insane. "--Andrew, how're things with your 'talent'?"

    I almost choked on my food. In fact, I did, and had to try my best to cough it up stealthily in a building hosting a crowd. Pinkie Pie kept looking at me expectantly while Applejack attempted to help me by patting me on the back, and after a few seconds, the fairly large bite of my chocolate cake came up with ease. It was given a more hospitable swallow, before I glared at the pink pony across the table. I could feel Mr. and Mrs. Cakes' collective glances from across the room.

    "What?" Pinkie shrugged earnestly. "Just wonderin'! After all, I've never seen anypony eat cake quite like you! Besides me, of course!" She giggled, and I sighed out my relief. I grabbed my glass of frosted lemonade and tilted it up to my mouth, the sweet and smooth drink easily finding its way down my throat. "Oh, all right, if you wanna be Mr. Reticent! How about your other 'talent'? You know, the one where you can do things with your mind!"

    The frosted lemonade all of a sudden grew spikes and latched on to the walls of my asophagus. I coughed out yet again, my blood running cold in the meanwhile. "P-Pinkie-- ech--!"

    "What's the big deal with me admiring how head-over-hooves gosh-darn smart you are, Andrew? Seriously, how jumpy can a stallion be?" I gave her a glare.

    "What're y'all talkin' about?" Applejack joined in from the sidelines.

    "...Okay, honestly, that last one was just to follow the Rule of Thirds in literary aspects. Really, I'm just building up to how you can--"

    Pinkie's frosted lemonade suddenly jumped up to splash itself all over her face. Applejack clattered to a stance with an instinctual "What in the--?!", before the pink mare gasped out in shock.

    "Andrew!" she susurrated, before a grin showed up without hesitation. "You shouldn't have! How did you know I love slurping up my drink from my face?"

    "I didn't," I deadpanned, before I was given an in-dept course on just how long Pinkie Pie's tongue was. Failed revenge aside, at least she didn't spill the beans. But, just how much longer until she does? I'm not always going to be there to throw a sweetened beverage at her face.

    Pinkie's mane was now dripping with saliva. "Ah'll get some napkins," Applejack suggested, after seeing the empty napkin dispenser on our round table. She scooted out the high chair before clopping down on the floor, and trotting further into Sugarcube Corner.

    "What the Hell was that?" I blurted out, staring daggers at Pinkie. The mare blinked and started to respond, but by now I was leaning over the table. "Do you know how God damn close you were to telling her?"

    She stayed stoic, if not a little confused, for a few seconds. "God damn?" Pinkie asked meekly.

"Celestia damn! I don't care!" She seemed to get the idea, and her ears flattened from realization. "Pinkie, I've only known you for a few days, but you are making one shitty first impression, you know that?!"

    Pinkie was dead quiet at the words "shitty first impression."

    ...Did I really just say that?

    Christ on a cracker, did I just say that? To Pinkie?

    I didn't need to explode in some multi-paragraph, blind rage, all it took was an insult to her introduction skills. Tears came to Pinkie's eyes as she kept those floating, ocean blue orbs of sadness locked on me, making me feel like shit down a barrel. "...Andrew?" Pinkie whimpered, as more sniffling came to her snout. I merely shook my head slowly, guilt pouring into my system like a monsoon. "...You don't like me, don't you?"

    I couldn't look her in the eyes. What the Hell is wrong with me? Not the fact that I even had those words in me, but the fact that I wasn't ripping myself apart this very moment? An embarrassment is all I've been for the last few days, and my entire life. A Celestia damn waste of fur, walking around, making well-meaning mares like Pinkie feel bad - now matter how annoying she is. Don't even know where I come from, or who my friends are, or who I am for that matter.

    ...Wow, did her eyes really make me think that?

    Whelp, reluctantly coming back to this shitty reality. I couldn't say anything, I could only look at her sorrowful eyes, as if they were magnets. Each milimeter closer the metal of my vision came, my guilt skyrocketed, and I wanted nothing more than to melt in a goop of miserable pony, and seep through the floorboard, never to be heard from or seen again.

    I couldn't say sorry to her face. It was physically impossible. She didn't deserve to have somepony as shitty as me as a friend, and apologizing was the first step to our amity. Still, I couldn't leave our relationship in complete shambles. I just insulted her introductions for Faust's sake!

    What the Hell did I just think, and who the Hell is Faust?

    It doesn't matter. What does matter is that Pinkie's hurting, and it's my fault, one hundred percent. I had to make this up to her. Thank God AJ wasn't around, or I'd be meeting Nurse Redheart again sooner than I thought.

    I slammed my eyes shut, leaned back in my chair, and hid my down turned face with a hoof. "No, I like you, Pinkie. I just don't..." I saw the mare peer up at me with sorrow. I couldn't open my eyes, afraid that they'll fall into Pinkie's own's orbits. I couldn't say sorry for those eyes; I didn't deserve it. But, she did deserve my apologies. So, I said what popped up in my head first, in a box labeled 'Apologetic but not sorry statement.' "...What can I do to make it up to you?

    Hell, I dunno. It wasn't like she was gonna make me her sex slave or something. She's too innocent for that.

    ...Right?

    "Oh, well, apology accepted!" she chippered suddenly, before tapping her chin in thought. "Now, what can I make you do for me...?"

    "Hey, I never said I was sorry," I hurriedly put in.

    "Shush. I'm thinking."

    I frowned and turned away, just in time to see Applejack trotting towards us perturbedly. She held a couple napkins in one hoof.

    Now, I knew Pinkie's tendency to tip over cans of beans by the dozens. And, considering the fact I was about to do something for Pinkie, I decided to save myself the embarrassment. With no more than a blink, AJ's napkins were sent flying out of her hoof, splaying over the floor. She let out a surprised cry, and an exasperated groan before kneeling down.

    "I know!" Pinkie suddenly squeaked, all traces of sadness gone, replaced with mischief. What the Hell did I get myself into? "...You know that talent that you have? The telekinetic one, that I'm never supposed to talk about?"

    An eye twitched, but my head nodded nevertheless.

    "Well... I've actually been wanting to suggest this since I first saw you in that bed."

    Oh, shit, no.

    I was about to tell off the pink mare, but she put a hoof to my mouth before any words could escape. "I know what you're thinking, you silly goose! But that's not at all what I mean. I mean something else..."

    She was too innocent to know what I was thinking. I might be a complete asshole, but I knew when I was overestimating someone. Pinkie Pie was a prime example of a someone. Or, pony.

    "We should start pulling pranks!"

    I opened my mouth to reply, but closed it once I realized I was mute. Pinkie Pie was not a prime example of somepony, she was a prime example of unpredictable... stuff.

    "They'd be simple, since they're your first pranks, ever," she hastily added, a smile forming on her face. "But, I'll make sure it's super-duper fun for both of us! You can do most of the levitating-- well, all of it on second thought-- and I'll be the partner in crime. The target is Ponyville Social Store.--" Pinkie Pie slapped an envelope on the table. I promptly stared, wondering what alternate dimension she pulled that out of. "--Here's everything you need to know about it. Opening times, ponies' grocery schedules, our potential victims... I've had this for years, waiting for the perfect series of pranks."

    "You met me a few days ago," I put in meekly as I felt thousands of brain cells tell their families their last words, before passing away peacefully on a hospital bed.

    "I'm always up to date with all my friends' activities, just in case there's an urgent need for a prank on the spot, or a new idea just popped in my head for story development, or there's been a tear in the molecular portal to dimension AG-67! Those bastards are always sharpening their claws..."

    How is she not in a mental hospital?

    "Well, now that I think of it, I've never found any consistent pattern with the customers, and it has its hours labeled on the door, so this is useless." Pinkie tore apart the envelope like a lawn mower, and instantly went back to her pleasant position. "Well, normally I'd ask if you were in, but you kinda don't have a choice! So, meet me here at five, when we close. We gotta be sneaky. ...Oh, it's gonna be awesome! The Ponyville Social Store won't know what hit it! It'll probably be like, 'Wait a minute! Pinkie's no unicorn, so how could she be doing this?' And then I'll laugh and continue the prank, and they'll all be dumbfounded, because I'm not a unicorn, I'm an earth pony, and you know how only unicorns can use magic in Equus, so nopony will think it's me, because, like I said, I'm not a unicorn and everything's getting thrown around in a way that only unicorns can do, *but who else could be pranking, because everypony knows I'm the best prankster in all of Ponyville, but little do they know that I have a protoge that will soon become the next big thing, and*** are you listening?"

    Applejack was picking up the last few napkins. I was almost finished counting all the skin cells on her body.

    "Just in time, too," Pinkie finished my thoughts, and I decided to not question her. "It's better that way, trust me."

    Oh, cool. She just read my thoughts. Rest in Bagels, brain cells.

    "Pinkie, one more question," I shook my head before asking.

    "Yeperooni?"

    I opened my mouth to ask the question, "What were you thinking I was thinking when you were thinking about something to do?", but I couldn't form the words. Things around Pinkie were getting too weird, and too laced with guilt. I closed my mouth and took a moment to think, before resuming my efforts. "...Promise me you won't do any levitating, too?"

    After that (and Pinkie Pie's reluctant agreement), the day dragged on with a sense of normality I had never experienced. No tragedies, life threatening situations, or ponies wanting to kill me presented themselves that day, and I was grateful. After the rest of the tour of Ponyville, I still had some time to kill, and to find out where a clock was. I did both with ease, via one visit to Nurse Redheart.

    I wanted to not just break the ice between us, but completely melt it. It took a few minutes of arguing with the mare at the front desk (apparently Redheart's a "professional," and can only be reached through an appointment), but after some time Redheart herself came down to meet me. She took me in her office, and was surprised to learn I had nothing I needed from her, just wanted to chat. To save her some breaking of the rules, though, I eventually changed the subject to visiting Cactus Blossom, but first we talked about life. Despite how much time we've spent apart, it turns out one night isn't nearly enough time to strike up new subjects for conversation. Still, we enjoyed ourselves, but I kept getting this weird feeling in my chest. It was kinda like my heart wanted to blossom with warmth and scream for joy, because even if she had me by at least three years, I was still interested.

    ...One of the many joys of having no heart, I guess. I just ended up feeling empty inside, and badgered myself until I didn't have the nerve to trust myself with liking her anymore. Plus, there's still a lot of stuff to get through before I start settling for a normal life. You know, the sanity-threatening, life-spending stuff that takes top priority above all else.

    But, I did find a clock in the hospital, so self-loathing was not all I got from that visit. After that, my day was pretty much a game of Bum Around 'Til Five. And, speaking of bum, I now know that I am totally a teenage human boy. Because all around me are females of my same intimate species, all pretty, and all butt naked. At least I wasn't feeling empty down there.

    ...Shit, did I seriously just think that?

    Well, anyways, the point is: day spent relatively tragedy-free. And now, I'm slinking around in a large, lit grocery store to make up for a slip of the tongue, and my own stubbornness towards a certain pink mare. Who was now distracting our first victim.

    "...Ya know, I just don't know how this could have happened. Everything was fine. One moment, I'm cheerfully shopping with all you fellow shoppers, doing shopping things and all, until my grocery cart just went {immature fart noise.} And not the words 'immature fart noise,' but the actual noise, and it just lost a wheel for no reason, and can you guard it while I get the manager?"

    The yellow mare smiled knowingly, shaking her head slightly. I could instantly tell she was familiar with Pinkie's antics. "...Okay, Pinkie Pie," she susurrated pleasantly. I briefly thought of how she sounded around 21.

    "Thanks, Carrot Top!" Pinkie said happily, before trotting off. The absolute, and I mean exact moment she rounded the corner of the aisle, out of sight, she appeared by my side. I merely blinked. "Do it," she said in a sudden, Golem-sounding tone.

    Carrot Top giggled to herself, before turning to the grocery cart steadily. She muttered, "Typical Pinkie," before studying her surroundings. Located in the aisle labeled "Gardening Plants," the tall, eight-foot walls of bags of seeds, soil, and assorted produce seemed to attract her attention. Her affable face turned to the produce around her briefly, but it was just enough time for the previously detached wheel to zip across the floor and reattach itself to its base. Carrot Top glanced down at the cart from the resounding click, and when her beautiful green eyes caught the fixed mechanism before her, they widened. A few steps back were taken, but after realization hit, she turned and called, "Uhh-- Pinkie? Pinkie Pie!"

    "Yes?" replied Pinkie, who had just came into view next to Carrot Top. The mare's surprise outmatched mine as she took a moment to consider her surroundings before continuing.

    "Your, uh, cart is fixed. I dunno how, so don't ask--"

    "What do you mean 'fixed?'" Pinkie inturrupted, flabbergasted. Carrot Top turned to see that the cart was now missing not one, but two wheels, making it lean on its side.

    "What in the..." Carrot murmured, before turning back to Pinkie. "I have no idea how that happ-- Ow!"

    One of the plastic wheels rolled to the ground from behind, leaving Carrot Top to rub the back of her head and turn, but ultimately coming to no conclusion.

    "You do know that's considered vandalizing?" Pinkie accused. "And, there is a serious fine for such crimes?"

    "Pinkie, listen to me," Carrot Top said, and her voice hoped this situation could end easily with a brief explanation. Hopefully.

    "I might just have to get the manager," Pinkie Pie warned.

    "That is not nessesary. I can tell... --well, I think I can--"

CRASH!

    Carrot Top whirled around to see that the grocery cart's entire lower portion was splayed across the tile floor, leaving the actual cart to clatter to the ground.

    "I have the manager," Pinkie deadpanned in the meanwhile.

    Carrot Top shook her head unbelievingly before turning back to Pinks. "D--bh!" She directed her attention to the stallion standing beside Pinkie. He was a tall and impossibly buff one, his face stoic and aloof. "Oh-- hello-- testosterone. AHMH!" Carrot Top was starting to stutter with her words. "I-I can explain. So-- uh, I was just shopping for some new soil for my garden, and then Pinkie Pie told me to watch her-- her cart.--" As she was talking, Carrot Top slowly turned to the cart, only to come across a shiny new cart in pristine condition. She stuttered some more, maundering out incoherent sounds as her eyes widened. Her mouth kept on talking, as if still trying to continue the conversation unintentionally.

    "Oh!" Pinkie exclaimed suddenly, smiling. "Carrot Top, I didn't know you were a mechanic! Thanks for fixing my cart!"

    The mare kept mumbling to herself, a stupified expression on her face as Pinkie Pie steadily walked passed her, pushing the shopping cart with her. Meanwhile, the cardboard cutout of a manager was floated away.

    "Okay, I'll admit. That last one was akchually pretty funny. But, let's simplify some things. Some gags here and there is all I need to get a laugh."

    "Oohhh, so you're that kind of prankster..."

    For the first time in my life, I heard myself laugh.

    It was exactly what I had expected a teenage boy to sound like: coy, good-natured, and God damn blissful. Now, I'm not one to compliment myself, but I think I might have found my new favorite past time, mostly because I'm a GENUIS when it comes to telekinetic public grieving! I'm like a Griefer in real life!

    My first prank was the one to actually draw a chuckle-- I chased a filly with a floating teddy bear! You should'a seen the look on her face! Fucking. Horrified. It was more than just priceless, it's fucking cherished memory-level shit! Not only that, but after I drove that filly out of the store, I had an absolute blast with screwing around with this one mare's cart! It was simple to a fault, but Celestia fuck me with a cactus if it wasn't Hil-arious! One moment her cart is there, full of groceries, the next it's flying across the store, her filly in tow! Pinkie said that was a little too brutal, but what does she know, right? After I had my fun with the cart, I started practicing my talent if anything. Like, I tried to pull the gum out of this one colt's mouth! He ended up flying face first in one of those pyramid-of-soda thingies, but I ran away before I could see my achievements. Still, I made up for it by seeing the faces of my other victims, including the joyous one of an earth pony filly who had her wish come true, and could fly for a few minutes, over her horrified mother. Then, the stupified expression of a stallion who previously thought his death was to be dealt by a falling vending machine, and the annoyed visage of a mare who couldn't quite get that bag in her cart (via its tendency to plant itself back on its shelf), and the traumatized one of a pegasus filly whose unicorn brother suddenly learned self levitation.

    Like, a full-on hacker of the real world. Somepony that can manipulate whatever they want is who I am! And nopony can stop me, because they're too weak!

    They're too weak to stop me. I'm getting stronger, I can feel it. The anti-magic radius around me is growing. I know nopony can stop me. I know nopony can stop me. Nopony can...

    ...I want a normal life.

    The room around myself was dark. The window to my left held no shine of the moon, and the atmosphere was deathly silent. The only live one in here was Opalescence, who was curled beside me, in a deep sleep I never knew possible from the feline. But, I was wide awake.

    I still remember their faces. But, I laughed at them. How could I have laughed at them? Because they didn't know any better, or because they can't defend themselves?

    I want a normal life, yet I grow stronger, and I'm loving every second spent inflicting pain on others, levitating things only unicorns should, and spending the time in my insane torture chamber of dreams.

    Will it go away? Can it go away...? Why...

    ...

    ...Why is this happening to me?

VIII: Sweetie Belle

    "Andrew, how are you doing in there? Everything turning out well? You've gone awfully quiet."

    I responded with possibly the most stupid response one could perform when behind a door, a million pounds of vaporized water spewn up in the foggy air, and a relatively thick shower curtain: I nodded. Because, apparently, I got it in my head that Rarity somehow obtained x-ray vision, and that she was a major pervert.

    Well, you can't blame my stupified, blind expression that much, considering a white bar of soap was currently levitating in front of me. In the shower. Surrounded by water of every form.

    "...Y-yeah, I'm fine," I finally made out, shaking my head slowly, as if it'd somehow make me know everything about this new, unpredictably inconsistent life.

    Here I was, living my week-or-whatever old life as happy as could be, thinking - no, WITH PROOF THAT - my talent did not apply near the elements, when I subconsciously levitate the soap to myself, and it actually works. Surrounded by the most abundant, steriotypical element of all time, in both liquid and gas form, and I was levitating this bar of soap mere inches from my face. It even inturrupted a pretty legit solo I was singing -

    ...Wait a minute.

"Rarity, were you listening to me?!"

    My face burnt with a murderous vengeance. I drew my knees to my chest in the chest-level water, and hugged them like they were my wife on my deathbed. The cause of death: Embarrassment. With a little Ebola thrown in, but mostly embarrassment.

    "Oh! Uh-hum...! I'm sorry! D-didn't know you didn't like to be... Oh, there's no getting out of this..." Rarity's voice grew quieter as she trotted away, embarrassed. Meanwhile, I let my entire face burn, going back to staring at the soap directly in front of me.

    What... the fuck buckets.

    I remember my fatigue when levitating near the elements, crystal clear. It was an Automatic-IV machine, just above Nurse Redheart's head, and just waiting to drop to drastic consequences. Before, I could have easily levitated... pretty much any sarcastically big object that came to my brain. Rainbow Dash's mouth. Or Pinkie Pie's want to obliviously frollock in the heavenly fur of a mile-wide chinchilla. She told me to think that.

    I'm getting besides the point! Point is, why the Hell is my life suddenly becoming a playground for mystery-movie directors?

    I sulked, and felt my ears intentionally flop down to my skull. My tail twitched from underwater, and I instinctively reacted by dragging the soaking wet apendage to my face, and letting out a long sigh. The soap dropped from my grasp, meanwhile, emitting a distinct plop in the steaming water.

    Rarity had nagged me to take a long bath this morning, the occasion being "a darling friend coming to meet you! Awha-ha! My accent it so amazing!"

    Yes. Yes, it is...

    ...So, that's the why. Now, I'm currently in the fanciest damn bathtub I've ever been in. It was a eight foot-wide, four foot-long, snow white tub with several designs of Mommy-Daddy-Fun-Time scenarios decorating the outside and inner bottom. The tub was attached to the corner of the room, for Celestia's sake! The bathroom around said pimpmobile wasn't half bad either, being at least twenty feet wide, and thirty feet long, and the long sink in front of the mirror hosting a large colony of different colored bottles of every design, with different words of every fancy font imprinted on. And, I still couldn't read. Except the occasional "A." Thanks, Purple Smart.

    I took a moment to straighten myself in the bobbing bubbles, before gradually levitating the soap from the water. It rose like a UFO had a hold of it, the spawn of its cleaning capabilities dripping into the froth below. Did my talent work around water? That would explain me being able to move clouds on my first night. Or, am I able to do anything around all elements, besides smoke? Or, was it something completely different? My anti-magic radius completely failed around Rarity; is that connected to my limitations somehow?

    I shook my head, sighing out a grunt. The more I lived, the more I wished Rainbow Dash hadn't pulled me out of that forest. She could have saved herself some bloody hooves, and a confused, telekinetic psycho as a friend.

    Well... I wouldn't say friend. More like acquantice, in the words of Nurse Redheart.

    I narrowed my eyes, before scrubbing myself with the soap. It felt bizarre and alien, having the bar rub against my short fur, etching its fresh scent into the skin below. I scrubbed myself, raising my arm to give the soap more of an entrance as it went up and down the thin apendage, covering it with bubbles and freshness. I started to hum the tune which I remembered from a time long lost.

    It came to me like a blocked off memory, etching itself into new memories with each high note, each inspirational phrase, and each mention that it'll all turn out fine soon. I let the tunes imbed themselves into my brain before opening my mouth, closing my eyes to the darkness of my mind, and singing the song which came from the dead place of my otherworldly memories.

"It's not about the money, money, money... Forget about the money, money, money...~"

    The soap nicked the stitches on my chest. I gasped out as the firey sensation spread, before containing my despair to a simple whimper. A few seconds was spent biting my lower lip, before I continued my washing.

"...We just want to make the world dance... Forget about the price tag.~"

    The door was closed behind me touchlessly, shutting out the steamy air of Rarity's overly fashionable toilet room. My vision and hearing were both cut off, however, when my bush of a mane was assaulted by my towel, shaking and beating it to its dry defeat. As the dirty blonde mane was dried, I started to make my way from the restroom to my own room.

    "Mr. Andrew?"

    I stopped in my tracks, lowering the blizzard of cloth from above my face, to my face, to a hoof. Sweetie Belle was currently in front of me, her lowered eyes reflecting an abashed expression. The snow white filly was kicking her hooves in shame, and admiring how fascinating they were as they did it.

    I raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Ms. Sweetie Belle?"

    Sweetie seemed to beat herself up in her mind as she peered upwards at me. Her eyes stole a glance or two at my chest, but soon they stabilized, holding firm. "I, uh... wanted to say I'm sorry for overreacting when we first met. I realize now that we're going to be spending a lot of time together, so I might as well deal with the fact that my new housemate has a grotesque laceration on his chest, rather than avoid him at all costs.--" Say what? I hadn't noticed that. "--So, um... I was wondering if we could start over? My name's Sweetie Belle."

    I looked around the room we were in. We were standing in the living room, no ridiculously beautiful white unicorn in sight. Still, to make sure, I asked the question of the day: "Did Rarity tell you to say that?"

    Sweetie Belle's face flushed pink as she pouted, and I instantly saw the resemblance. "No, for your information, she did not! I am telling you this because I thought we should get rid of the pink elephant in the room."

    I nodded, the resemblance all too clear, before smiling. Okay, not to look like an idiot too much, but Sweetie Belle was pretty freaking adorable. "Alright. But tell me, it's not that noticeable, is it?" I puffed my chest out, and Sweetie held down a gag.

    "It is very noticeable when you puff out your chest like that!--" The young filly might have continued her statement, too, if she hadn't taken the time to choke down another gag.

    I chuckled, before extending a hoof and looking the small pony in the eyes. They were light green in color, but a steady red in annoyance. "Apology accepted."

    Sweetie Belle gave me another glare before grabbing my hoof (WEIRD FEELINGS WEIRD FEELINGS) and shaking it. I kept a wry smile on my face as I followed suit. After the formal shaking of the hooves, Sweetie glanced at another part of my body.

    ...A very invitation-only part of my body!

    My tail did the job quickly, covering my bare flank as I scowled at the filly. Sweetie Belle looked up at me, as if surprised. "What?" she asked casually.

    "That's my butt, thank you very much," I informed her.

    "Wait - no!" Sweetie shook her head quickly, frowning and blushing. "I was looking at your flank! Those are two very different things, Mister!"

    "And the difference is...?"

    Sweetie Belle's ears flattened to be engulfed by her curly mane. "You really did lose your memory."

FUCKING RAINBOW DASH.

    She read the frown on my face like a distinct "Please, explain."

    "Your flank has your cutie mark on it. Your butt is what my sister is going to kick if you tell her I was looking there! Because I was looking at your flank!" She frowned. I frowned. We all frowned.

    Sweetie's face eventually turned from sour to sweet, though, as a concerned look implanted itself on her features. "...I noticed you don't have a cutie mark, is all. I'm really sorry about that - well, I know how that feels is what I'm trying to say. But at your age-?"

    "Cutie mark?"

    If a heartwarming monologue was about to commence, I dipshitted it to nonexistence. Sweetie Belle merely gave a furreel? glare.

    "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique," Sweetie Belle deadpanned, before trotting away.

    "Apology accepted!" I called after her, before opening the door to my room.

    "I take it back."

    Alright, good talk, good talk. The friendship vibes are really making themselves known.

    I turned myself in to my room, just in time for Rarity to call to me, "Andrew! Fluttershy is here-- ...Oh. What? Why...?"

    I stopped in my tracks, my ears perking up into the air. Even Opalescence, sitting on the floor just in front of me, had some perking of the ears herself. Rarity had instantly quieted after her questioning, giving away to a still-sounding voice in the house. It was small and high-pitched, as if Pinkie Pie had suddenly decided to do the world a favor and whisper for once.

    I turned my butt flank around, before lifting a hoof. The door in front of me was opened to just a peep, yet it let in the vocalization I needed.

    "...around him," the quiet voice susurrated timidly. "I mean... I know he must be a wonderful colt on the inside, but I really don't think I can be in the same room as him. Have you seen what he can do...? ...I don't want to start a rumor, but...- oh, nevermind."

    "Fluttershy, what are you talking about?" Rarity questioned, and I was caught off guard by her sincerity. "After all you two have been through? Dragging him from that forest, seeing him on the brink of death? - Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry! Please don't do that here, this is a new carpet!"

    I heard the sound of somepony swallowing their lunch for a second time.

    "I'm sorry," 'Fluttershy' whispered.

    "It's alright, but why must you leave so persistently? You're hurting his feelings! Forgive me for sounding pugnacious."

"Pug... nacious?"

    "It doesn't matter.--" There was a pause. "--Fluttershy, please come in. You've already done yourself the trouble to come all the way over here, why not just sit down for a cup of tea, and I'll get Andrew for you? I'm sure you'll end up liking him before you know it! --"

    "Andrew killed--..."

    Fluttershy went dead silent, and I could feel the surprise emminating from Rarity. My hoof steadily drew back from the door, leaving the extending lock to lean against the door frame. I felt myself taking a step back. Then, another, and another. The door in front of me seemed to shrink in my clouded eyesight, the windows to this world. The only things I can trust.

    "Andrew killed..." Fluttershy couldn't finish her sentence. It started as a sniffle, but soon escalated to choking back tears. "He... he... ...Where is he?"

    Rarity took a minute to answer, before silence crept to her voice. I could feel her gesture to my room. "Fluttershy, you're traumatized from the days passed."

    "No!" Fluttershy hurriedly put in. "...No."

    I felt something warm dribble down my lips. I saw my hoof reach up to reveal that it was blood. And, it was flowing. My brain started feeling numb as I heard myself repeating what Fluttershy had to say, more quietly, more weakly.

    "Let's not make this what it doesn't have to be," I heard from behind that thin wall of concrete and paint. It was concrete and paint, right? "Just... I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry, I just don't want to see him. Ever."

    "Fluttershy, think about what he's been through," Rarity said, hints of desperation creeping in her voice. I could tell she was trying to keep quiet so I couldn't hear, but her panicked shrills gave away her revealing words. "You are acting extremely unacceptable. You came to see him, did you not? You were worried about him, yes? Then why the Hell are you shutting him out now?"

    "Please don't talk to me like that."

    Rarity stayed quiet for a time. I knew she was closing her eyes. "...I'm sorry. If you do not want to see him, that is your choice. Just... think about it, okay? He's been through a lot, and you have, too - for him."

    "I know. And, I feel sorry for him. But, I cannot see him. Goodbye, Rarity."

    Opalescence started to hiss. I calmly looked at her across my room. She was backed up in a corner, her back arched, her hair bristling, and her dagger-like eyes trained on me. I let her stare. I let the blood flow, and I let that pegasus fly away just behind this thin wall of reality.

    "Come on, Fluttershy."

    My head snapped up at that voice. It belonged to Twilight Sparkle.

    There's a thumping going on in here.

    Why would someone let something thump in this place? It was beautiful the way it was, this shack of mine. A little small, true, but it more than makes up for it in insanity, emptiness, and anger. What more could someone want in their little shack, that's always with you, and that you're never without? Because, if you really want to have one, you must make it fun - for yourself and for everyone else.

    Look at this shack of mine. Small, but that's really the only downfall. It's cozy, it's important, and it's mad enough for the next person who dare thinks they can stand beside me. So, why would someone be thumping on it, over and over, with the intent of seeing me in it? They all know what I look like when I'm outside of this shack. How could I be different when I'm in my natural state?

    I was calmly sitting in a small, wooden chair inside this small, wooden shack. The thumping kept inturrupting me, however! I couldn't focus - not now, with this thumping!

"STOP IT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs at the thumping. Surprisingly, the culprit responded.

    "We care for you."

    I recognized that voice, but chose to act like I didn't. The thumping stopped momentarily, as if waiting for my response. I tried to give my reply, but my skin had peeled over my lips, leaving me mute. When I saw the restriction on my speech, I calmly and intently waited for it to dissappear. When the thumping started once again, my lips were freed.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CARE FOR ME?" I questioned earnestly. The thumping continued, so I continued. "I HAVE NO FRIENDS - NOBODY TO CARE FOR ME. AND, WHO ARE YOU, FOR THAT MATTER - AND WHY ARE YOU THUMPING ON MY SMALL SHACK?"

    The thumping ceased, and my lips were sealed again.

    "We care for you. Why won't you let us in?"

    When the culprit waited for a response again, I felt great impatience with my lips sealing. But, I was a good person, so I reinforced my efforts of amity. My anger was left to simmer in the volcano inside me.

    The thumping continued.

"WHY WOULD I LET YOU IN? I HAVE NO FRIENDS. WHO ARE YOU TO SAY I DO? I KNOW WHAT YOUR KIND IS LIKE - YOU ARE VIOLENT AND IGNORANT, AND YOU HURT THOSE WHO ARE SMALLER THAN YOURSELVES."

    The thumping stopped. My lips were sealed, and I lost control. I screamed inside my own mouth, lurching up to throw the chair from underneath me to across the room. Still, the voice continued, and was as calm as ever.

    "We care for you. Why won't you let us in? After all, we only want to come in to destroy the innards of this empty shack - this useless shack - to save you. You are going mad, Andrew. I want to help you. I want to fly away from here, to start over somewhere else. It's not too late, Andrew. It's not too late..."

    I kept screaming in this personal Hell of mine, before the thumping started once again.

"IT HAS BEEN TOO LATE FOR ME FOR A LONG TIME!"

IX: Of Foxes and Henhouses

    "Andrew? Hey, uh... It's Sweetie Belle. I just wanted to talk about a few things. --Well, actually, it's really just one really important thing."

    That was the statement which brought myself from my developing trance, and I found me staring into the light yellow eyes of Opalescence. The chinchilla cat's reticent features simply blinked as I came to suddenly, glancing down to see the floor, four feet below. Just another day with Andrew the Mind Freak.

     The knocking on my door told me that my locking skills were still intact - good. Wouldn't wanna give Ms. Marshmallow a heartattack, now, would I?

     I had spent the duration of my consciousness today in this position, practicing my levitation on living organisms. First was Opalescence, after I convinced her to shut the Hell up. Beforehand, though, I used her meows and hisses for signs of where I was putting too much force in, and where I was putting too little in. Soon, that practice translated over to my own body. I bruised myself a little on my initial grab, and for the first few seconds, my mind shook at the thought of how little of a nudge it took for me to either spew across the room in a gory mess, or combust into a little ball of ooze.

     That thought got to me, and I let myself down for a little bit. This was my second attempt, and with some numbing of the brain, I've had no problems for the fifteen minutes I've spent airborne. Thoughts of flying occasionally entered my mind, but I was far from bringing those wishes to life. For now, I needed to practice resisting the urge to tear myself into a gory meatball.

    Well, for a few seconds ago, it seems.

    "Hang on a sec," I got out, before trying my best to steadily float to the ground in a collective fashion. After some vibrating, however, my sense of fashion proved to be ghastly. My upper body swung down my right side, and I bonked my head on the floor. Luckily, said floor was carpet, but I was still pretty sure it was going to cause the second nasty bruise of the morning. I muttered a curse or two, my lower body still being held above myself, almost making a C shape. Annoyed, I lifted my front hooves into a supporting position before putting my Olimpian Athleticism to an untimely end.

     I muttered some colorful statements as I stood up in my white room, and...

     ...was it just me, or was Opalescence snickering?

     I shifted my glare to the feline currently affixed to the top of my plain bed, who was indeed using a paw to surpress the maleficent laughter. Okay, I am now officially done questioning this place. She can probably understand me when I talk, for all I knew.

     "Bastard," I muttered (her snickering stopping in the meanwhile), before trotting to the door in the corner of my room. With an annoying creak of the door opening, I was given the dry sight of Sweetie Belle, standing a foot and a half shorter than me - yet her green eyes shown up audaciously. Her face was indifferent, although the right side of her lips were sucked into her mouth, her left front hoof kicking. I blinked. "Sup?"

     Sweetie Belle seemed uncomfortable now. She narrowed her eyes, but not in an angry way. She opened her mouth to speak, but after realization crashed down on her, the filly was silent.

     "Well, good talk," I acknowledged, before making a move to close the door.

     "You don't have to be so rude!" Sweetie blurted out, her narrowed eyes now not so familiar. Her abashed nature was no more, replaced by something much more persistent. Even her body language changed, and her snow white hooves were spread apart on the floor, neck craned to glare daggers at me. It was adorable as Hell, and was enough for that door to stay open. "I wanted to talk to you. Because, uhm... I want to make sure my sister is safe with you around."

     That made my ears perk, and my eyes soften. Sweetie Belle soon recovered from her defensive stance, glancing behind herself, as if to make sure nopony was listening When her surroundings were secured, she peered back up at me with a concerned look of sincerity. "I just wanted to talk about something. It'd only take a little of your time, I promise!"

     I grunted my cooperation, before stepping forward and closing the door behind me. Sweetie Belle nodded thankfully, before backing up and taking another look around us. Rarity was nowhere to be seen, earning an unsure sigh from the investigator. "Andrew, did you really lose your memory?"

     "Don't remind me," I deadpanned, lowering my eyebrows, before Sweetie Belle gave me a pleading look. Her eyes instantly told me all that I needed to know - this was serious to her. "Yes, I did. Couldn't even remember how to speak correctly for a few days."

     Sweetie Belle lowered her head gloomily. "So... you don't remember where you're from?"

     My blood ran chilly at that question. I wasn't sure what to do - there was no right answer to that. The filly was uncomfortably shifting her weight from her left side to her right, and soon, I was following suit.

     "I mean, I've never heard a name like yours. Or, seen an earth pony do what you can. I thought where you came from might've had something to do with it...--"

     On her oblivious mouth went, leaving my shocked mind in the dust. My blood was frozen by now, and my legs weakened from under my body, but I held brittlely firm.

     Sweetie Belle knew.

     I knew I should have pushed us into my room, to have this conversation in private, but my body was frozen with paralyzing shock, and a burning hatred aimed at myself.

Of course she would've figured it out! I can't keep this shit under wraps for the life of me - why not just repeatedly huck some at the ceiling fan above? When Sweetie Belle tells Rarity, I'll be thrown out into a world I can't even read in! God dammit, I should've been more careful!

     I facehoofed, before figuring that was too little of a punishment. My hoof obeyed my mind, repeatedly punching myself in the forehead.

GOD. DAMMIT. THIS. CAN'T. KEEP. HAPPENING!

     "What're you doing?!"

     My hoof ceased all violent tendencies, saving the onslaught for later. Sweetie Belle was now peering up at me, confusion and a hint of concern on her visage. The look gave me hope - perhaps she was talking about something completely different, and out of my own self-loathing, I had missed it?

     "I just said I saw you move things with your mind! I'm sorry if I made you feel stupid!"

     Well, back to hitting myself.

     My hoof went back to work, just before Sweetie yelped out a stern, "Hey! You stop that!" It was then my hoof couldn't move.

     I stubbornly tried to pull my hoof again, although it wouldn't budge. Confused, I opened my eyes to see that a green, gel-like glow was enveloping my hoof. That same glow was portruding from Sweetie Belle's horn, the unicorn's face contorted into one of pained concentration. I frowned, trying again - my hoof curled up just a few inches before Sweetie snapped, "Would you stop it? I just said that I'm not going to tell anypony!"

     My facehoofing came to an end, yet my self-loathing decided to stay without even so much as a two-week notice. Okay, try to calm down... She won't tell anypony. My reading classes could wait a little longer.

     Still, it was beyond frustrating to not even have faith in myself for keeping my own secret.

     What did Nurse Redheart say? Bring whoever found out to her? I nodded inwardly, knowing what to do - until the thought came to me that Sweetie Belle was a filly. She couldn't convince anypony if she tried. But...

     ...No. I needed to start taking responsibility for my actions. Later today. No excuses. That was the plan, and I was going to stick to it.

     "I saw you yesterday," Sweetie Belle informed pragmatically. "Coming from the restroom. And... well, you didn't seem to care too much about using your hooves for the door."

     I nodded, exasperated, and steadily put a hoof on my throbbing forehead to steady myself. I already knew her alliance was to me, but it still felt reassuring to say the words, "You cannot tell Rarity. Or anypony."

     "I know," Sweetie Bell said patiently.

     I nodded, her words adding to my console. And at that, the conversation was over.

     We stood there for a while, and soon an awkward silence enveloped us. I nodded occasionally, encouraging her to nod in mutual respect and silence. Her comradery in this subject would help tons. She could perhaps remind me to keep quiet aswell before I give myself away. I imagined Sweetie Belle was probably going to use that as a grip on my balls, though - best to stay on her side of the everything. But, above all, I had to take her to Nurse Redheart. "Okay..." I muttered coolly, trying to find the right words, before I was inturrupted.

     A sporadic series of knocking on the front door was what served as a trap door for the developing information I had to pass on. I gently pushed her aside to peer at the flamboyantly violet door, and saw that it was occasionally almost knocked from its hinges - almost cartoon-like.

"Andrew, you get your butt out here right now!" I heard Pinkie Pie blurt from outside, and I instantly knew my trip to the hospital would have to wait. Hanging with her might give me all the different reasons to go, however.

     "Butt or flank?" I asked smugly, turning back to Sweetie Belle.

     She let out a small chuckle, peering up at me with wide, green eyes. "I guess that's going to become a 'thing' now, huh?"

     "Pinkie, darling, you'll knock down the door!" Rarity's muffled voice suddenly yelled, and I could hear her hurried hoofsteps elegantly clamoring down the stairs. "I'm coming, have patience!"

     "Not a word," Sweetie Belle reminded to me ironically. I peered down at the filly, who had a well-meaning grin worn on her face. I admired her trust.

     Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie exploded in Rarity's face in the front door. "Where is Andrew?! I thought he said he'll meet us at 8am tomorrow yesterday, and now it's 8:03! Is everything alright? - I'm asking that because the last time a friend was three minutes late I had to send her a message through the electromagnetic spectrum to remind her, but that started a chain reaction which inevitably caused everypony to go blind, so I had to tear a hole through reality into another dimension to fix this one, but the big purple chinchilla-Sensei said I wasn't ready, so I had to train in a super awesome-dubstep-montage, but then--"

     "I'd rather you would come and ask, too," Rarity acknowledged.

     At that, I gave Sweetie Belle one last look, before stepping into the open battlefield of Pinkie Pie's vision. The sniper rifles desguised as her eyes instantly locked onto me, and suddenly I felt very small. Before she could do anything involving anything that has to do with herself, the welcome form of Applejack entered through the front door.

     "Settle down, there, Pink," she chuckled, making her way to her friend's side. After she saw the pony in Pinkie's crosshairs, she put a hoof on her shoulder. "See? Ah' told you he's fahn.--" She turned to me. "Ain't that right?"

     "Right as rain," I confirmed, before making my way to the trio of ponies. I could feel Sweetie Belle's eyes on my backside as I neared them. "All right, let's head on out."

     Pinkie surpressed a vibration I could only assume was excitement, before rolling her eyes and head playfully. "Fiiinally~!" she moaned, before turning said head around, and using it to lead the way outside, still craned painfully upwards.

     Applejack gave me an expecting but kind look, before also following her friend.

     "Have fun, darling," I heard Rarity say from behind, before--

Wait, WAIT, WHAT THE SHIT--

     She pulled me into a light shoulder hug. It was a simple and friendly gesture, but in my mind, a whole damn community of signs were bouncing this way and that. And, before I knew it, my mind was as convaluted as the bright red stain on my cheeks.

     I took a moment to relish in her soft fur, and her faint lavender musk. But a moment was all I had, as Rarity pulled back and appropriately trotted back up the stairs, humming a lighthearted tune I had never heard of before. Still discumbobulated by her brusqueness, I let out a weak, "Bye," before stumbling forward and out of the door. Instantly afterwards, the fresh scents of a new world greeted myself into the light. Yet, I was already as sky high as one could be.

    "...So here's a thought for you: if the pootis bird never regained his dispenser, how could he ever forgive the defiant Engie for destroying his homeland of Painis Island? Nopony knows. That's what I really like about that story - all the characters are three-dimensional! It's almost like you can reach out and touch him as he stares blankly into your eyes with his own, buggy perceivers. *And then, with a distinct***--"

     And, that was when I slowly drifted off, Pinkie's maundering fading in the meanwhile.

     From the looks of it, Applejack was completely numb to the noises coming from Pinkie Pie's mouth. Her eyes didn't hold any deceit back, however - she was completely, utterly uninterested. And, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hide it. I had that connection, at least.

     I took this time to inspect the surroundings Applejack had taken us to - it was her turn to choose dinner, and she took the liberty to take us to Big Wood's Grill. Not only was this the place I found out that these ponies were omnivores (*shudder*), but it was also one of my new favorite places in all of Ponyville. It was a small, cabin-style, open-wall restaurant just at the edge of Ponyville, which served various Southern-themed salads and meats (The deer and cows in Equestria are also sentient, but it's almost as if they agree with our predatorial instincts - a little poignant is all they see in us eating their neighbors. Creepy shit, me thinks.). It had an outdoorsy-feel to it, basically consisting of a long outstretch of a dark wood floor, with an equally expansive wooden roof over our heads, supported by log purlins and columns. Inside the log sanctuary of the place was lit splendidly by orange-tinted lights and lamps around the many wooden tables and chairs around us. The cool breezes of the outdoors (or, in this case, fifteen feet to the left) susurrated gently over the occupants of Big Wood's Grill, consisting of us, and a few other families and partners scattered around the large expanse. Soft music, full of aplomb, danced around everypony's ears from some speakers on the underside of the roof.

     Outside was a different story. It was a busy night, no moon in sight (unfortunately), but full of the countless charms the backside of the sun brought. The constant tunes of crickets and other bugs joined the river of pithy music, adding that tinge of the laid-back Southern lifestyle I took Applejack to love. And, I could see exactly why.

     At that thought, a suddenly forboding sensation crawled up my spine. I shivered, at first thinking it was the breeze, but soon recognizing the cold feeling as somepony else's eyes on my fur. Under the cover of Pinkie's monologue about how "there are no secondary characters in life," and how "Fleck deserved a second chance," I glanced around uneasily.

     "...And then the galaxy expanded and retracted, creating yet another wormhole, and-- Hey, Andrew, what's wrong? You look like you just found a glowing red dot on your chest!"

     I redirected my look to Pinkie, and as my visage neared her own, I suddenly grew pragmatic. I know I was trying to be more honest to my friends, but really, I had no reason to feel this way. What I didn't know couldn't hurt them too bad. "Just got a little chilly, all of a sudden."

     At that, the two ponies reacted as if I had hit a switch to their sympathies. Applejack opened her mouth to speak, just before Pinkie beat her to it: "Oh, well why didn't you say so, Silly? Nopony's uncomfortable around Pinkie!"

     ...Ah-heh.

     During my growing mnemonic collection of times I had, indeed, felt uncomfortable in her presence, Pinkie was suddenly pulling a wool patterned blanket that a grandma would've approved of. Before I knew her intentions, I felt her hooves come over my shoulders, and my entire back suddenly felt very warm. I looked back to see that the pink pony was evidently now behind me, wrapping me in the heavy blanket. When the fabric was laid over myself, I could feel its weight instantly, and my shoulders sagged.

     Pinkie Pie took the time to steal a quick, tight hug. Suddenly, the warmth was multiplied by the biggest number you can think of right now. I didn't know what it was about cute mares hugging me, but I was really starting to like the feeling.

     "You're a good friend," Pinkie Pie chippered innocently. My nonexistent heart both sank and rose at the word "friend," creating a paradox in my mind. I didn't know why, but I didn't like that word coming from somepony else's mouth, aimed at me. "Friend." But, Pinkie Pie's undeniable innocence and somewhat (ugh... fine.) charm soon tussled with the negative feeling.

     "Thanks," I said weakly, before Pinkie Pie trotted back to her seat, humming a sweet tune to nopony in particular. My eyes hurriedly found their way to the empty plate in front of me again as I tried to mull over what had just happened. Yet, the more I thought, the more the chilly feeling crept up my back. I held back shivering, but it still felt like a blizzard inside the blanket.

     I quickly stole a glance around us, just to confirm or deny my suspicions. Our surroundings seemed completely fine: ponies around us talking, music above us continuing, and the night outside still being damn sexy. I took another second to further inspect the ponies around us, though. A family of four sat just a few tables to our right; the young colt was currently trying to steal bits and pieces off his bigger sister's plate while the parents (a mare and a mare, I noticed) whispered sweet nothings into each others' ears. I scrunched up my snout, unsure if this place was particularly well-suited for families, when I continued peering at the surrounding residents of Ponyville. Another couple, this time without their children - again, a mare and a mare (Did the uneven ratio of males and females have something to do with that?). A group of teenagers, huddling around the table with garrulous intent. And then, my eyes fell on a lone stallion.

     The feeling of chill turned into an ice-cold dread the moment our eyes met. The uneasy aura came from him, and now I knew it not to be that being-watched tingle of the spine. It was something completely different - it was as if lonliness, fear, and guilt all had a fun time on a late Friday night, and dropped off their horribly deformed offspring on my doorstep the next morning - all the responsibilities and legal shit included. He had fastidious, dark brown irises, although his look suggested something lighter than "murder". I tried to inspect the rest of him. I tried to move my eyes across his being, to jot down every detail as if it'd give me a hint as to why I felt this way. But, his eyes were a magnet.

Just like the scar in the mirror.

     The realization hit me like a train. I physically flinched, although Pinkie's blanket caught my limbs and I ended up falling from my seat in a raucous frenzy of fright, and hitting the floor with a thud. That noise echoed throughout the restaurant, proving to go along just as strongly as the music and Southern charm.

     Just a moment after my brain went kaPOOYA, it was back to normal. I shook away the sudden, horrific fear and came back to reality. And, that involved looking up into a startled Applejack's eyes as she bent down to help me up.

     I took her hoof and staggered back into my chair, eyes wide as could be. I turned to AJ in an attempt to explain things, but her attention was turned elsewhere: to the other ponies in their seats, all eyes dead-set on me.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

     I faked a smile, although I knew it came off as an especially uneasy smile. I had to acknowledge each and every one of the staring ponies' stares (minus my accomplice in crime), my gaze steadily crawling across the expansive room. Then, with a guilty raise of a hoof, pushing the heavy wool aside, I said pragmatically, "Sorry." My voice was still in light-speech-impediment territory, so that didn't help much with my public status.

     The restaurant gradually returned to its neutral state of happiness, dismissing me without so much as a second glance. I slouched back into my chair, my entire face burning with embarrassment. I didn't attempt to explain to Applejack or Pinkie Pie my problem, because it wasn't explainable to even myself. They seemed to realize something was wrong, and I was the last one who wanted to talk about it.

     Even then, I could feel the inevitable, accusing question coming. I had embarrassed them as much as myself, and now it was time to pay. When I caught Applejack opening her mouth from the corner of my eye, I braced myself for the nail on the coffin for my secrecy:

     "You okay, partner?"

"What was that abou--" Wait, what?

     Surprised, I tilted up to see genuine concern in Applejack's eyes. Same with Pinkie Pie, which I discovered after a slight turn. They were both concerned.

     A sudden warmth sprouted in my chest - weird, considering there was nothing inside. But, looking into their eyes which held nothing but interest in my own well being, I couldn't help but dismiss that physical emptiness, for once. A smile suddenly appeared on my face, and I leaned back in my chair, Pinkie Pie's blanket suddenly a lot warmer. I must've looked like a complete dumbass, but at this point, I couldn't care the slightest. "Yeah, just thinking about stuff. And things."

     It wasn't technically a lie. My uneasiness really did spawn from just me thinking about what had happened, which I didn't completely understand. So, it was all in my head. And, the more I told myself that, the more I believed it.

     Applejack wasn't completely convinced, but Pinkie Pie's reaction drowned out her oncoming questioning: "Whew! That's a relief! I can't tell you how many ponies I've met that just suddenly spaz out and are never the same again! Ooh! I have GOT to tell you this story about this one guy, in Band Camp..."

     Aaaand here we go again.

     Off went my mind to the subject at hoof again. Applejack gave me a flat look of disapproval, before sighing and turning back to Pinkie Pie. Taking advantage of this open moment, I tried my best to look at the black stallion just to my left. I caught his eye out of the corner of my own.

     He was dropping a hefty tip on the table, at the same time throwing on what looked like a black hoodie from hanging on his chair. After both actions were completed, he peered at me again.

     This time, it was a glance, though. I caught his dark brown eyes with my own ones, before he turned away casually. Then, he lowered his head and grinned before walking out.

     Not the grin of a pursuer or hit man, but of one damn happy pony.

     "Welcome back, darling--!"

"SHIT-CAKES," I yipped out, almost dashing into the newly closed door just behind me. But, once the fact that it was Rarity who had greeted me from the darkness settled in, I sighed out my anger, and breathed in understanding. Luckily, when I looked back up at the Junoesque mare I knew as my host, sitting comfortably on one of the equally elagant sofas in the center of the room, I saw nothing but abashed contrition.

     "I am so sorry!" Rarity said in a mix of apology and amusement, adjusting herself so she looked straighter. "I didn't mean to scare you."

     I mentally slapped myself. Who else would greet me at Carousel Boutique at this time? I must be getting paranoid.

     "I only wanted to talk with you," Rarity continued, adjusting herself once again fastidiously, glancing down to see how she would look to me. "About the future. Your future. Please, come sit."

     I could feel the foreign but-somewhat-instinctive rise of my ears, and curiosity shaking hands with my mind so quickly it couldn't keep up. After making my way to Rarity and sitting beside her on the soft sofa, I couldn't help but feel that same blossoming warmth which engulfed my system the first time we met. Rarity nodded at my approach before scooting to correctly face me, and I was given a front row seat to some of the most... beautiful eyes in Equestria..

Oh, God...

     I was so close to Rarity. I didn't give two shits if it was some innocent schoolboy crush (granted, schoolboys would never in a million years think up the kinky shit that was currently sitting in my mind), and I had virtually no chance with her (unless if I was a lot older than I looked. Hey, how old am I, anyways? And what Hell do I even look like? Okay, sticky note on my brain's mirror: LOOK AT SELF IN MIRROR SOON.) it was still fun to amuse the thought of us, having dinner at some expensive fancy-language restaurant, and coming home to--

     "You are really easily distracted, aren't you?" Rarity said simply.

Bang. COCKBLOCKED.

     "Sometimes," I responded, trying to not think about it too much.

     Rarity calmly jumped up a little and settled back down in her seat, a gesture I was slowly getting used to. "Well, I must have your undivided attention for the impending conversation, as it concerns subjects of the upmost importance for your future."

     I loved it when she talked like that.

     That thought must have reflected from my eyes, though. Rarity caught that shine, and the concerned curve of her eyes inverted into somewhat of a glare. I took the hint, and serious'd the Hell up.

     "Andrew," Rarity started, before the thought which seemingly dawned upon her lost itself. She took a moment to revise her words, looking down and back up at me, before clasping her hooves together. "What are your plans? For the future, I mean. We both know you can't stay here with me and Sweetie Belle forever - for the convinence of both of us. No offense, darling."

     I adjusted my own seat, knowing where this was going. This was no movie - waking up with no memory and otherworldly medical conditions were apparently not enough to get by society's grip. Well, at least that's where I knew it was going - I couldn't even read shit.

     Because the word "shit" doesn't have the letter "A" in it. Thanks, Purple Smart.

     Yes, I am going to keep making that joke.

     "I don't want to seem like the bearer of bad news, so I won't put down a stern deadline. But, I really do think it will help if you obtained a job sooner or later. Granted, your condition will surely limit your options... How do you feel about going to school?"

     "You know," I mused. "I just got this chilly, forboding feeling when you said 'school'. I think I'm good."

     "Andrew, you know it's for everypony's good."

     I folded my arms and leaned back on the sofa, sulking.

     "...But there are a few jobs that don't require a high school diploma. Granted, their pay is horrendously miniscule..."

     "I could be a politician," I pointed out suddenly. "Dumb as shit, hosting no physical heart." I had to.

     "Andrew, do not call yourself such names!" erupted from the unicorn furiously, catching me completely off guard. I flinched as her words hit home, and found Rarity's eyes to be full of icy determination. Her words were of equal levels of temperature. "You are not dumb. Do not even think of such glib. Education and intelligence are two very different things, Andrew, and mistaking the two is a mistake most ponies regret on their deathbed."

     I made a move to tell her that her scolding was not needed, but the ice-cold glare she gave me shut me up instantly.

     Rarity seemed to notice her hostility, and retreated to a calmer approach. "...I'm sorry, I just can't bear hearing somepony talking about themselves like that - let alone you, mon copain."

...Moan co-pahn?

     "Andrew, please consider my preposition. It's simply not fair for you to fail as an Equestrian citizen, with your lack of memory.--" Rarity's eyes turned softer, and a weak smile appeared on her face as she peered up. "--Please, Andrew. Enroll in a class or two - I will help you along the way if I must. Find a job, find a beautiful mare, buy a house... I know I'm thinking into the far future at this point, but I want you to have a life of your own." She leaned back into her position before, her smile staying intact. I felt some of my innocence be drawn with her direction, and the resulting feeling was a mix between warmhearted comradery, and icy despair.

     "Because... well, Ponyville needs you, Andrew. And I'll guard you if I have to."