Internal Worries

by Prompted-by-Raridash

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3664

Rainbow Dash and Rarity miss each other

Rainbow Dash and Rarity miss each other.

Maybe moreso than before.

Rated Teen for language and for some sexual content, but nothing NSFW.

There's also a DeviantART version.

Published 2014-11-25 17:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-25 17:10:03 UTC

An Unlikely Love

A loud thunder echoed through the skies, a streak of lightning painting the skies with a flash of white-hot. The soft, continuous pitter patter of the rain was the only constant for the hour as I sat here. The thunders came and went as they pleased, a flash in the pan if you will.

I like to sit by here, near the windowsill, as I ponder about my relationships with my friends.

It has always been rocky with nearly everypony involved, but through all the moments that we had been in, we have emerged from it stronger than ever before. Even as we all made our way into other lives, we still found solace in each other and managed to build a strong relationship with each other.

I have, however, always found one exception… and I feel as though she would think similarly towards me.

Fluttershy is bound to find some sentimentality with her: She did go to the same school as she did. Pinkie Pie has thrown many pranks with her, albeit harmless ones, and the kinds of experiences shared with the two seem certain to last forever. Applejack with their races; Twilight Sparkle as being her flight student; all of them had some sort of special connection with her.

I feel robbed of such a connection.

I still remember the Sonic Rainboom incident, of course. And the time she saved me from a demon-sized Spike… I haven’t seen him in quite a while ever since I had left Ponyville.

I also remember the time that she had saved all of us when she had just gotten into to the Wonderbolts as a trainee. But I can’t help but feel that it has no bearing in my life anymore…

We were younger mares then, after all. Maybe she’s completely forgotten about it.

As for when I am asleep? That’s where all the bizzarity began to occur. I would have an endless succession of scenario after scenario in which I would imagine what it would be like to be with many other ponies. It has always been this way ever since my obsession with Prince Blueblood had ended; crushed by that boneheaded idiot of a prince, but I had always pictured them well and all, in spite of some dreams failing to live up to the dreams of the caricature in place of myself.

But hers? Oh no, they were never easy dreams to live with.

I could either wake up with heat all over my cheeks, vividly imagining all the arguments I would have with her… All varied with subject but always overblown and heated. Other nights… oh, Celestia, how should I even say it… I imagined myself… doing it.

I still shudder at the thought of either dreams.

I feel completely ready to attempt at giving up on this.

“Why do you seem so... different to me, Rainbow Dash?” I heard myself mumble, leaning against the window pane. “Why can’t you be like the other girls when you’re in my dreams… ?”

We are two completely different mares in terms of personality and nothing would have us going to a similar event together, so how would I explain anything going on in these… nightmares?

Maybe the Wonderbolt races, though. I still vividly remember all the names of the racers in that stadium. I even visit the track occasion-

No. No no no no... no.

Why would I think of such a nuance and be able to remember it so clearly? How, for that matter? It’s just as important as remembering what I ate for lunch a week ago and I couldn’t even tell whether it was good or not.

“Maybe those dreams have something to do with it...”

Perhaps I am simply grappling at hay straws here. For years, I have always held strongly in the belief that sex only comes after something eternal… like marriage…

Of course, suspense was always kept on my part for that as I had no manner to control what I dreamt. I remember that Twilight had mentioned it to me once, something about dreams being triggered when some part of the brain is shut down, which is where decisions happen, or something along those lines.

But this theory seems to hold some merit. If that is the case…

“No! I mean, think of how awful the relationship will be! More than not, your dreams will repeat in real life: It’s either arguing or fucking.”

I shudder again at the vulgarity that left my lips.

”Do you really want that for a relationship?”

Maybe not. Time is not on my side, however. The heart aches within me to stop all of this tomfoolery at once. The mind is not even there at my side to comment anymore.

I promptly galoped to my writing desk and penned down a note to my assistant, informing her of my absence.

The note was written and the pen fell onto the table. The door was unlocked and hanged open.

And just like that, with grace and style, I was gone.

* * *

To my assistant,

Please take note that I am leaving for Ponyville on urgent leave for today. If anypony ponders as to where I am, kindly tell them to shove off and say that I am away for a momentary break from work to get some inspiration for my new craft.

There is also something you need to know: If you go into my apartment finding me sitting in a corner alone, crying my sorrows out while eating a tub of ice cream… just know that a prismatic-maned horse is to blame for all of this… and that it is my own as well.

Do not murder this pony if you know who she is. I’m dead serious.

Sincerely,
Rarity

* * *

How did this pony get into my mind so much?!

Want to know how my day went? Well, it was alright at first. Did a couple of shows with the best flight team in all of Equestria and got a giant applause. Before that, I had a great breakfast. Nothing like a light daffodil sandwich to start your day right.

But then she just had to ask me.

“So Rainbow… got any partners yet? Marefriends? Coldfriends?”

Spitfire kept droning on about how everypony else had a partner already and I should get one soon. What does she take me for? A mush? I’m not into that!

Maybe I did date a couple ponies when I was younger, but I was young and impre… impreeessi… oh hay, I was easy to fool! I bought into the whole lovey dovey junk and got dumped after the first month!

I may have some luck, though… I mean, I’m now the greatest flyer in all of Equestria in the greatest flight team in history!

But then again… I better not. I mean, my fans will go nuts if they hear that the Dash; Rainbow Danger Dash; was trying to find a marefriend!

I mean, it’s not like I’m gay or anything. But I’d be okay with dating a mare or two if they interested me… that, and Equestria has waaaaay more mares than stallions. I’d have better chances being in a relationship with a mare than being a friend of a stallion.

Whatever. I’m just gonna go practice around the track now. Gotta keep in shape…

Okay now, Dash. You’ve got it in ya. Just gotta spread your wings and take to the skies.

One… two… three!

And the Dash is off! Nailed the takeoff there, if I do say so myself.

Aw, hay yeah! It’s just awesome zipping through around this track, making you feel like you’re a part of a giant tornado or something… always puts a grin on my face when I’m done.

Okay now, focus. Don’t screw it up. Smile a little cockily at Spitfire there and press forward at top speed.

… hey, wait. Ponyville’s visible from this track.

Neat. Just gotta continue lapping, though.

… how’re my friends doing right now? I bet ya, they’re more miserable now without me. I just made everything we were doing that much cooler, don’t you think?

Heh.

… I miss them a lot. This… and I didn’t even-

Oh feathers, almost hit a fence!

Okay, focus… take a deep breath in. Laps are over now, go straight up there and show your stuff!

From down here… that cloud… it kinda looks like Rarity.

I can almost imagine her just sitting somewhere and being all gloomy staring out her window now…

Okay… you’re being silly Rainbow. She’s got a successful career and a good life ahead of her, just like you do. What’s there to be so sad about?

I mean… she helped me to get into the Wonderbolts. I-I’m in complete debt to her as to where I am right now and… I didn’t thank her enough for that. Not when we said our farewells. Not even there and then at the competition.

Of course, I could’ve wowed them anyways later, but… she helped me to take the first step. Quite unintentionally, but… she made me who I am today.

Everypony else has also been wonderful, really. All the others… I wonder how they’re coping now.

Maybe Twilight’s doing… something, maybe one of her egghead stuff again. Fluttershy’s probably helping Applejack in some way, I dunno what. Pinkie’s… well, she seems to help Rarity on occasion, maybe she knows how Rare feels.

Rare. I like the nickname. It fits her well, like… err, like how Danger suits me!

Oh shoot, I need to go and finish the practice routine. Gotta get myself working like a champ again…

Why… why do I feel so sad?

* * *

…and I’m now aware that I am not. I messed up my whole routine from top to bottom; all in front of that same mare. And she just giggled and went all like, “Somepony on your mind, eh Dash?”

Darnit, Rarity! Why did this happen to me at all?!

No, that’s it! I gotta go straight to her now and sort all this out.

Now or never, Dash. You’re going to get an answer.

* * *

The train has departed. A train ride is just what I need: I’ll collect my thoughts while on the train, just listening to the quiet outdoors and the train bellowing through it.

I sit by the windowside and stare at the countryside, looking up as I see a small collection of clouds hovering above. The conglomeration of clouds grew bigger and more massive until…

“Oh, Celestia’s sake, it’s going to rain again isn’t it.”

A loud thunderclap erupts in the sky.

And there it goes. Just as I was monolouging, too.

I sigh as I take out a newspaper to read through the journey and read through some of the regular articles. A train crash occured that shattered the ‘without an accident’ record streak they had going for the past week.

“Accidents… I hope Rainbow Dash has been okay…”

Pshhh… what do I have to fear? Rainbow Dash has always been alright: Anything that is thrown at her, she would come out perfectly alright, isn’t it? It has always been that way…

“The race at Ghastly Gorge, though…”

Oh hush now. She had Tank then, remember.

Oh great, another stupid nuance I remember. Maybe that’s alright, right? I remember all of our friends’ pets’ names: Wionna with Applejack, Owliscious with Twilight, Fluttershy with Angel and her numerous other animal friends. There’s also Pinkie Pie and Gummy, for goodness sakes: I met her briefly in Manehatten just a few days ago, how could I forget all of our times in Ponyville?

I’ve… I’ve just gone crazy from the workload. I have been working myself down recently with all the new dress orders from Trottingham. And meeting up with Pinkie Pie could have given me more than a sweet tooth recently and that gave me a lot of headache in the form of those dreams.

That’s… that’s it. This whole trip was just a waste of time.

I’ll just go and sleep it off…

* * *

I’m honestly not feeling the best right now.

How… how could a simple nap net me this much trouble? More than it’s worth, might I add…

I was just closing my eyes there, on the hard mattress, trying to sleep off everything when… I saw this light flashing in front of me.

There they were… all my old friends. Just standing there, smiling as if to hide some deeper intent behind their unexpected appearance. Pinkie Pie, especially, seemed to embody this look the most as she winked at me, along with Fluttershy of all ponies, and they kept whispering amongst themselves as they began to walk down the street. Dumbstruck, I followed.

My eyes then laid upon the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria.

I felt starstruck, seeing Rainbow Dash there, looking at me bashfully as her mane and tail were tied in an elaborate fashion. I placed my hoof over my mouth and gasped softly, approaching the enchanting creature slowly.

“... Rarity? Would you… like to go on a date with me?” She looked up and stared at me with the most pleading look I had ever seen in my life.

I didn’t know what overcame me. I… I just tackled her into some sloppy kiss and then I woke up, feeling just as sweaty as I usually did all those other nights.

And now… now, I am leaning outside the train window, staring at the formation of a rainbow in the distance, intently waiting for some sort of romance novel closer in which the heroic pegasus swoops in and pours her guts out to the damsel about all her hidden emotioins…

“Raaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnbooooooowwwwww Dash!”

And I sit here, awaiting somepony now; anypony, even, to fly straight at the train’s window.

Those stupid, trashy novels have cheated me. Nopony has come yet.

You would think that I had somehow managed to forgo all of that, but apparently it still remains, in spite of all the failed relationships and romances that I’ve had in the past.

I mean, really the only reason why I had been feeling so certain was because this whole thing feels so much like a romance novel. I don’t even understand where these feelings come from or how I could so quickly forget everyone elses’ nuances and details but still find the room to remember that damned rainbow-maned, muscle toned-

…irritating pegasus.

Well, there isn’t any point to this, it seems. I may as well do anything while waiting for my train to arrive, isn’t it?

Well, I could get started on thinking where I need to go. She could be anywhere by now…

* * *

Right… gotta find Rarity, gotta find Rarity, gotta-

Wait… is that Rarity’s voice? Is she calling my name?

“Rarity? Rarity?!”

Okay, stop that.

Focus on that voice… which is now gone. Drats.

I knew I should’ve remembered the address or something. So much work to do, I haven’t had the time to come back to any of my friends…

My friends… now that I think of it-

Celestia, I feel like a monster now.

Pinkie Pie’s going to be mad that I didn’t send any letters, Applejack is going to be let down about how much of a fucking airhead I’ve become and- and-

Wait… I’m not crying, dammit!

I’ve got to find that damned unicorn!

Focus again… The voice came from that direction!

Wait… that’s a mountain. Maybe it came from over the mountain…

Focus, focus, focus!

Okay, I think I see where… I think it came from…there!

A train… Rarity’s taking the train… to Cloudsdale…

Right… Maybe I should… no. No.

I need to get this dealt with anyways. No point turning now-

Shit, I need to stop nearly hitting mountains.

Come on now-

Wait, is that what the fuck I think it is?!

* * *

The train… it is slowing down.

A laugh escapes my lips now as I stand up, the train’s momentum forcing me to wobble a little as I try to balance. Everypony is looking at me now, it seems, and… well, they are all murmuring something, I just know it. Out of all the chaos, though, I quite obviously cannot tease out what, exactly.

I make my way to the doorway as the train comes to a complete stop, taking numerous steps down on the stairs as I glance at my surroundings, seeing nothing but patches of grassland as I press my hoof gently on the soil.

Ech… I’m alright, though. It is just… dirt. And mud, that too. It’s not the end of the world…

And.... well, now I feel reminded of Ponyville again.

It has been a long time.

I continue trotting forward as the stares seem to begin. I can’t seem to help turning to see what was going on, and-

… I think I have just found it.

The train’s engine is gone.

The passenger carriages all stopped a good few hundred metres from a chasm, where a hole had been made in the bridge.

Now, I see… out of all the ponies in the crowd, I had been the only unicorn on my cart.

I make my way to the cliffside as all the stares pull away from me, leaving me to think on these thoughts alone.

Why did I not notice that there was a hole up ahead, why?!

For that matter, how did it even appear in the first place? The entire track had supposedly been relooked and rechecked again and again, so how did this… travesty… happen?

But… maybe, it is still my fault. I didn’t care that there was a stupid hole on the tracks and just went on in depression about Rainbow Dash…

Stupid pegasus…

…who am I kidding here? There were probably still some ways I could have done something if nopony else was going to. I mean- I embody the Element of Generosity! Who knows this element better than its beholder?

Maybe it’s too late, though.

Maybe the train conductor has already met his doom.

Some Element of Generosity I am.

“Don’t jump!”

Wait, what-

Oh Celestia, I’m in the air now. Oh please, oh please, put me down!

“H-hey, stop squirming about, Rare… ity.”

Wait…

“Rarity.”

I hope I’m giving the most earnest and coldest glare I can, right to the point of a snowstorm forming around us, you good for nothing, soul crushing-

S-she’s hugging me now. It… it all feels so right being here, right now…

“It’s okay, Rare.”

I’m blushing right now, aren’t I?

“Everything is okay. Everything will be okay.”

This is certainly not the Rainbow Dash I remember, nor what I expected. Where’s the fighting? Or fucking?

Is this… was that what the last dream was for? Was it a sign for things to come?

* * *

Honestly, I don’t think I can really wait much longer. She’s just there, mulling over everything. I’m just gonna let out a sigh and just say my piece, real quick.

“Seriously, Rarity, if you’re not going to do anything, then at least tell me something! I don’t care what it is, I just need to hear something from you, maybe a word on why you’re on a train to Cloudsdale or what is chewing you away enough for you to want to jump off a cliff!”

I’m not crying…

I’m not....

“Fucking Tar-”

…

“-turus…”

She’s just staring at me now with those… beautiful blue eyes of hers.

* * *

She’s now staring back at me with the deepest pools of light reflecting off of her gorgeous magenta eyes.

“I… I like you, Rainbow Dash.” I’m holding her close to myself now, nuzzling into her neck. Her fur is just… heaven. Being with this pony is… it’s like heaven compared to the hell in my sleep.

“And… I like you more than a friend.”

* * *

She does… oh my gosh.

I… I still can’t believe it.

“I do too.”

That… that could’ve come out of my mouth better.

Heh, she’s laughing at how stupid I sounded. That’s all good for me.

Wait, that’s not like me.

This is more like me.

* * *

Under the unending burn of the summer sun, which soon gave way to a torrent of rainwater gushing from the grey clouds above them, the two mares stayed in each other’s embrace, their tongues locked within a fiery exchange as they laid on a nearby cloud.

As the rainclouds parted, the two lovebirds remained locked in each other’s hooves, the world ceasing to have any impact on them for the hours they spent, resting in the warmth and comfort from their unlikely, timely love.

Author's Note

I have the feeling that I gave way too much of a fairytale ending there, but I had this in mind when finishing it and, at the time, figured it to be a reasonable ending to this fanfic.

Funny story: The bones of the story had been written out a year ago, around August. Then, I went and decided to try and type out a bit more of it in early November, sending it to someone to preread it and comment on it, leading me to rewrite and tweak parts of the fanfic. Then, in mid November, I got more comments, then left it there because lazyitis hit me after the exams ended.

And now, I'm here. Did quite a bit of last-minute typing and I'm finally finished. Sorry it took so long, though...

Special thanks to this fanfic's prereader, Selective Yellow, for... well, what else, prereading the story. And for helping me in a small part of deciding what should be done with the story. (She had little to do with the paragraphs in which Rainbow Dash and Rarity finally meet, though.)