They waited with what little patience they had left in the Crusaders’ treehouse. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle knew a Cutie Mark Crusaders emergency meeting was urgent, but without any explanation and Applebloom running late, the two young fillies could not help but drown in boredom and concern.
“What if something happened to her?” the young unicorn broke the silence with worry.
“Relax,” the orange pegasus replied, “I’m sure she just forgot something… this better be good! I could be watching Rainbow Dash practice her moves right now.”
“I can’t remember the last time Applebloom called an emergency meeting. And she was so serious about this one.”
Scootaloo was to respond until they heard a set of hooves jog up the treehouse ramp. The young earth pony finally arrived with a couple pictures clenched between her teeth and a camera with a strap hanging on her neck. She laid the pictures face down on the wooden table to hide unprepared information and gently placed the camera down next to the other items. The yellow filly gave a small sigh and looked her two friends in the eyes with great importance.
“Ah’m glad ya’ll could make it. We have a serious situation at hoof.” Applebloom began.
“What is it?” The other two asked on cue.
Applebloom turned around, walked to the unprotected window panel and placed her front two hooves on top of the wooden edge, “Ah was at home, when Granny Smith called suppertime. Applejack told me ta go find Big Macintosh so they could start eatin’. I couldn’t find him in the orchards, so I checked in the barnshed and…”
“What? What happened?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“…It’s ‘bout Rainbow Dash…”
“What happened?” Scootaloo nearly yelled, joining Sweetie Belle in a sea of worries.
The young farm-filly looked back to her friends and joined them back at the table. Applebloom hated to be the bearer of bad news, but she had to tell her friends of the situation. “Ah don’t know how ta’ say it so ah’ma just tell ya how ah saw it.”
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo put their front hooves on the table and leaned in closer.
“Ah think my big brother is beatin’ up Rainbow Dash.”
“Wha- Impossible! Rainbow Dash is too fast! Too cool! No one can bully her!” Scootaloo instantly rang in defense, “I don’t believe it.”
Sweetie Belle fixed her gaze from the orange Pegasus to her red-head friend. “Are you sure about this?”
Applebloom flipped over the pictures in return, allowing her friends to soak in the truth. “These here pictures we’re tough ta get without gettin caught n’ all, but ah got ‘em. These two show it all.”
Their big eyes grew bigger as they darted back and forth between the two images. The unicorn looked up, “Applebloom …”
“Ah don’t know why he’d go on n’ do such a thing but…”
The first picture was taken in the barnshed. It revealed Big Macintosh on top of the cyan pegasus who had her wings spread out. The red workhorse was nibbling his partner’s ear while she was gritting her teeth from the sensation of some… other stimulus. Their manes were messy and they were both coated in sweat. From the angle that Applebloom took the snapshot, a number of logs were blocking the sight of their lower body parts.
The second picture displayed Rainbow Dash blushing, waving her hoof to Macintosh (who was not visible in the picture) as she exited the barnshed. Although she smiled widely, teeth showing, her flank was a bright red color, surrounding her cutie mark. The pegasus also had tender nibble marks predominately on her neck and wings.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle drained in all the horror; their eyes wide open, their jaws agape. “Ah had ta go get the camera so ya’ll could see it fer ya self.”
Silence dominated the room as the three decided between staring at the photos and plotting their next course of action.
“I know this sounds dumb, but…um” eyes fell upon Sweetie Belle “… do you think your brother is a zombie?”
She received dull looks from her friends.
“I’m serious! Look, Rainbow Dash has bite marks on her. He must be a zombie! Or maybe he was really hungry and-”
“Sweetie Belle, my brother ain’t no zombie.” The young earth filly stated flatly.
“Yeah, zombies like to eat brains, not wings.” Scootaloo added.
“Besides, Zombies don’t exist so there ain’t nuthin ta be afraid of!”
Scootaloo was not so quick to back up Applebloom’s second statement. “Woah, woah, woah! I said your brother isn’t a zombie. I never said anything about zombies not existing.”
Applebloom shot the pegusas a flat look. “…Anyways…”
“What are we going to do?” The unicorn brought the situation back to its formal urgency, “Should we…tell on him?”
“Tell on him? Are you serious?” Scootaloo quipped, “Who are we going to tell? Your sister Rarity? Is she going to make him a tuxedo? We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We need to take matters into our own hooves! We need to investigate and deliver sweet justice!”
“You mean like detectives?” Sweetie Belle asked a bit embarrassed from her previous statement.
“Yeah. Now…” The orange pegusas paused, “…how are we going to do this?”
The crusaders thought in silence as they looked around for ideas. None came to mind. Applebloom shut her eyes tight in focus, hoping something would magically give way to some idea. She heard, and more so, felt a painful growl from her stomach.
Then it came to her.
She looked back to the other two fillies who were already staring at her. “Ah got n’ idea. We’re gonna need some apples…”
…
“Big Macintosh!” Applejack yelled again in an effortful search for her brother. “Darn it, where’s that red mule? Big Macintosh!”
She then felt her hat being removed from its rightful spot. She turned around to see the red workhorse place the farm-hat on top of his head. “Eeyup?”
“Gimme my hat back!”
“Ya sound just like yerself when ya were a lil’ filly.” He joked.
“Big Macintosh!” She blushed with anger and humiliation. The larger figure chuckled a bit before returning the item.
“Whatcha need AJ? Is it suppertime?”
“Is that all ya think ‘bout? Supper?” she fixed her hat onto its proper position.
“Eeyup.” He didn’t need to think about that answer.
Applejack rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help smile at her brother’s logic. “Anyways, the crusaders want ya up in the treehouse. Said they made an apple pie just fer ya.”
“That right?” His eyebrow rose. “They made it? Ah hope it ain’t poisonous.”
Giggling, Applejack punched him playfully, “Be nice now ya hear?”
“Eeyup. Guess ah’ma be gone fer a bit. But don’tcha worry none, ah’ll be back f-”
“Fer supper. Ah know ya Macintosh.” She continued to giggle as they parted ways.
…
His head popped from the entrance door, scanning the room for the young fillies, and more importantly, his pie. To his dismay, the area was darkened by large wooden planks covering the windows and extra sheets of heavy fabric blocking any other light source.
“Young’uns… ya’ll in here?” He almost whispered, slowly bringing the rest of himself into the room.
It was then a flash of light beamed down on a steaming apple pie, perfectly placed on the polished table while a small wooden chair invited him for a seat. Macintosh squinted his eyes.
It was obviously a trap.
But then again, it could have only been set up by three small, school-age ponies. What’s the harm? Plus, free food.
Trap? Free food?
He smiled and went for the “bait”. Macintosh slowly sat down on the chair, trying his best not to break it. Once he found himself in a suitable position, he looked down at the pie and all its glory. Again, he peered around the darkness in anticipation. “Aw well, guess ah’m just gonna eat this ‘ere pie now…”
“Now! Throw it now!"
Before he knew it, his legs were being pulled back by thick strands of rope, causing him to sit up straight, parallel to the back of the chair. He turned his head far enough to see Applebloom and Scootaloo tying a double knot to ensure the workhorse couldn’t escape (as if he couldn’t). He just smiled and played along.
“Ah no, my only weakness, ropes!” he poorly dramatized.
The beam of light moved over to his face, temporarily blinding him. “We know what you’re up to Big Macintosh.” Sweetie Belle squeaked as she jumped on top of the table to confront him at eye level. Applebloom and Scootaloo quickly joined her on the table, nearly dropping the pie.
“Oh?” he regained vision.
“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle continued to take charge, “If you are not a zombie, why were you trying to eat Rainbow Dash?”
“Yeah! Why were- wait, what?” Scootaloo and Applebloom frowned at the unicorn.
“Zombie?” Now even Macintosh was confused.
Sweetie Belle presented the images of Big Macintosh’s previous encounter with the speedy pegasus. And she did not pause to point out the bite marks on her wings and neck. “Well?”
“Where did ya’ll get these-” he began but was cut off by a slap by orange hoof.
“We’ll be asking the questions here!” Scootaloo roared. Macintosh was in shock from the sudden outburst.
“Scootaloo!” Applebloom yelled, “Why’d ya hit my big brother?”
The pegasus filly just rolled her eyes, “Oh Applebloom. This is an old technique you use when interrogating. If the pony doesn’t talk, you make him talk!”
“Can I try?” Sweetie Belle questioned, willing to put her new information to use.
“Sure.”
The small unicorn inched closer to the red workhorse until she was on the edge of the table. Then, she slapped him, “Why were you trying to eat her!?”
“No,no no!” Scootaloo interrupted, “If you are asking a question, you ask first, then slap! Like this.” She looked at Macintosh, “Why were you trying to eat her!?” She then proceeded to slap him.
Big Macintosh sat stunned from the series of blows.
“What if we slap him both times? Ah’ve seen Applejack do it plenty o’ times ta him.” His younger sister added. Macintosh snapped out his trance through fear.
“No! Please, Ah’ll talk. Ah swear.”
“See? I told you it would work.” The pegasus boasted.
“Eat…hm. Well heh, ah guess ya can say she tasted prutty good!” Macintosh exclaimed without realizing what he said until it was too late. “Uh- ah mean!-”
“So you were eating her!” Sweetie Belle jumped, “I told you two!”
Applebloom looked back her brother with confusion and anger. “Ah don’t get it. Why didn’tcha just come ta’ supper if ya were hungry?”
Macintosh tried to play along without spilling the beans, “Cuz… uh, ah was eatin’ her out-” his eyes widened again, “Ah mean eatin’ out! Yea’ that’s what ah mean’t!”
“So wait. Were you eating her or not?” Scootaloo attempted to clear the confusion.
“No! Of course not! Why in Equestria would ah eat ‘nother pony?” he looked at the three. Scootaloo and Applebloom looked at the white pony. Sweetie Belle just kicked the table in shame. All the tension seemed to have simmered down on Big Macintosh…until his sister turned back to him once again.
“Then, what were ya doin?”
“Uh…Ah just said, Ah was eatin’ out.” He redeemed himself, “With her. Together.”
“You mean like a date?” Sweetie Belle asked with awe in her voice.
The red giant smiled, “Exactly!”
Applebloom raised her eyebrow, “In our barnshed?”
“Uh…sure?”
“Not exactly romantic…” Sweetie Belle sigh, “Did you at least pay for her?”
Big Macintosh frowned a bit; he didn’t want to give the impression that he wasn’t a gentlecolt. “Course’ ah payed fer her! What makes ya-” Then he noticed he just marked Rainbow Dash as a prostitute. He began sweating and blushing, “Ah mean uh- no, why would ah pay fer her?”
The young unicorn gasped.
“Wait, no, what ah meant ta say-”
“My sister Rarity says if the colt doesn’t pay, he isn’t worth a second date!”
“Uh!-”
“And what about her flank? Why was it red? And why did it look like she was in pain?” Scootaloo then slapped him before he could conjure an excuse. “Well?”
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Then, another slap came.
“I cannot believe you. I thought you would be a fine gentlecolt toward other mares!”
“Yeah! You don’t even deserve someone as cool as Rainbow Dash!”
“C’mon girls, let’s get goin’. Ah think it’s time we told Applejack.”
And with that, three upset fillies marched out the treehouse with the camera and the pictures, leaving Macintosh strapped to the chair with an apple pie too far to reach from his position. Although he just lost all form of respect from the Cutie Mark Crusaders, was most likely to receive a beating from Applejack, and if worse comes to worst, may face some jail-time, he still had a pie to eat. He tried to get up from the chair, but the rope held him back. He looked back to see the rope was tightly knotted. The giant attempted to escape from the restraints with all his might, but just ended up bringing himself down onto the floor. He was detained, interrogated, slapped, and scoffed at by three little ponies, each of which a quarter of his size.
His stomach growled.
“BIG MACINTOSH!” He heard Applejack scream.
“Somepony kill me.”
…
A/N: I finally finished this one! I had this in the back of my mind for the longest time, but you guys know how life is. A bitch. Never giving you anytime to write any stories. Oh well! I hope you guys enjoyed this story, as there will be more to come! Now, I need to get some rest…
