Pills are Uncool, but Dying is Even Worse

Warning:This story contains mentions of war trauma, depression, and child neglect. If any of these trigger you, please don't push yourself.

*****

     School was over, and the day was just starting to cool down. Birds were chirping, the sky was blue, and the green grass felt cool under her hooves; she would have loved to stick around for a while, but mom was probably lonely all by herself... after all, she did say her "Little Scootie-poo" was  the coolest filly ever!

     Too bad being the coolest filly ever meant she didn't really have time to enjoy the new spring, though. Being super important sure was hard work! Rainbow Dash said "Life is gonna throw lots of things at you, but awesome ponies like us just have to tough it out!"

     Yeah, awesome ponies. It was kinda sad, though- was she really the only awesome pony (besides her friends, of course) around here?

     She looked around at the other fillies walking past her, snorting at Dream Dancer's new manecut, and the bows in Lemon Tart's frou-frou hair. Sure, they might have had their cutie marks, but they were still totally not radical ponies. Did their moms save a griffin prince from being ripped up by a manticore? She didn't think so!

Yeah, I should really go home, before-

     "Scootaloo! Where 'ya goin'?"

     "Yeah, Scoots! What's the big idea?"

     She grimaced and turned around, scratching her purple mane nervously.

     "Sorry, guys. I have...uh, ballerina practice?" She grinned, looking for all the world like an angel.

     Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow, a trick she had picked up from Rarity. Applebloom frowned at the lie.

     "Ballerina practice." The yellow filly looked at her pegasus friend, waiting.

     Scootaloo was sweating hail under her friends' gazes. Standing up straight, she took a deep breath and lied through her teeth.

     "Yup. Ballerina practice. That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

     They sat there in silence, waiting for Scootaloo to crack.

     Her friends weren't buying it! What should she do? Uh...hey! That might work!

     Rising up on shaky back hooves, Scootaloo spun on the tip of one hoof, wings spread for balance. She had actually seen a ballerina do this once- not that anypony but her mom knew- and stuck the landing, facing her friends and smiling again.

     Applebloom looked like her eyes were about to pop out of her head. Scootaloo grinned at her. Finally, Sweetie Belle sighed, rolling her green eyes.

     "C'mon, Applebloom. There's no talking to the featherbrain when she's like this."

     They shared a sigh and walked away, leaving Scootaloo alone in the courtyard. She did feel bad for hurting their feelings, really. But they were really stubborn when they wanted to be, and she couldn't let them meet her mom. Not yet.

     'Cause she had it all planned out for them!

     When she got her cutie mark, they would all meet at her cutecinera; Rainbow Dash would tell her mom how cool Scootaloo was, and her mom would be all like whattt? And her friends would be like yeah! and be totally cool with it, because they were the bestest friends in the world. Pinkie would roll out the "Super Sugar Bomb 3.2" (Or maybe it would be 3.3 by that time.) All of Ponyville would be there, and everypony would be happy. It would be the best party in, like, ever ever ever ever!

It'll be so cool!

     The orange filly turned around and walked home, a smile on her face.

*****

     "Mom! I'm home!"

     She trotted into the kitchen, following the smell of baking cookies; mom was feeling okay today, so maybe she would say yes to the flying lessons! Scootaloo smiled.

     Flying and cookies. Yeah, that would be a great way to spend the day.

     Her mother turned around, green mane burnt and sticking up in some places.

     "Hello, honey! How was your day?" She smiled, purple eyes sparkling.

     "You're feeling better! I'm glad you aren't sick, mom!" Scootaloo threw her arms around her mother, nuzzling into her buttery coat. It didn't matter that she smelled like burnt hair.

     Her mother laughed and hugged her tight with her forehooves and wing.

     "Of course I'm all right, Scootie-poo. I was just feeling a little... under the weather yesterday." She gave a shaky smile, ear twitching nervously.

     Scootaloo wasn't having any of it. She pulled away, frowning. "That's not what the doctor said, mom..."

     The mare stuck her tongue out at her daughter, grinning goofily. She struck a pose, wing flared and forehoof raised high.

     "That doctor's blind as a bat! He wouldn't know a healthy pony if one walked up and cut his horn off!" Seeing her daughter still looking worried, she relaxed her pose, kneeling down in front of the filly. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm alright- do I really look that sick to you? Do you think I'm getting...Old?!"

     Scootaloo flushed, cheeks turning dark orange. "N-no! You look fine! It's just... well, Dash said 'Doctors might be giant eggheads, but they know what they're doing, kiddo. Leave the brainy stuff to them.' I just don't think you should overdo it, mom." The filly flapped her wings to prove her point, looking at her mother's left side.

     The adult frowned and looked at the place where her wing used to be, at the motionless yellow stub there. Her eyes glazed over, a sign that she was reliving the painful memories again. Scootaloo's ears folded back and she scuffed a hoof against floor, feeling guilty for hurting her mom.

     But the doctor had told her that mom would never get better if she overworked herself, and Dash had told her that trying to do things while you were hurt always made it worse. Even awesome ponies like her mom had to take a break every once and a while.

     She took a deep breath. "I mean, doesn't it hurt, mom? You have bags under your eyes, and you look like you've been up all day. Even super-cool ponies need to sleep, you know."

     Her mother yawned before she could reply, cheeks turning dark yellow. She sighed and looked at her daughter tiredly, nodding.

     "I guess you're right." She smiled again, ruffling her daughter's purple mane. "You're an even a better grown-up than me, Scoots!" She started to walk up the stairs, blue tail flicking across the ground. "Too bad grown-ups don't get to eat cookies, huh?"

     It took a second for that to sink in while the mare slowly inched up the stairs, grinning.

     Scootaloo's eyes widened as she heard the words don't eat cookies appear together in the sentence.

     "Wait, what?!"

*****

     Scootaloo snuggled into her sheets as her mother tucked her in softly, humming an old military song the filly didn't recognize.

     She was full of cookies and warm milk, a good end to a peaceful day- a thing that had appearances few and far between nowadays. There was always homework, an ornithologist appointment, a trip to get more pills, more pills, and more pills...

     But today had just been a day off.

     Well, besides her daughter's reasonably well-planned plea for the flying lessons with this "Rainbow Dash." Whoever this mare was, she sure hoped the "radically awesome" pony was better at resisting Scootaloo's puppy-dog face...

     The mare smiled down at her sleepy foal, looking into purple eyes that matched her own; she bent down and gave her child a peck on the forehead.

     The filly looked up at her mother groggily, frowning.

     "Aw, are you gonna get all mushy again?" the filly asked, frowning.

     The pegasus just chuckled and started moving towards the door. She paused near the doorway. "I love you."

     A tense, unsure silence filled the room- a murmur came from the bed. The mare's yellow ears flicked back, showing she was listening. "I'm sorry, what was that?" She asked, almost teasingly.

     Violet eyes above dark orange cheeks flitted around the room, looking everywhere but at the mare in the doorway.

     "I-I said...Iloveyoutoogoodnight!" With that eloquent sentence, the filly threw her head on the pillow, looking intently at the wall in front of her.

     Scootaloo's mother smiled, starting to close the door. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

     The door clicked shut, leaving the room in darkness.

*****

...

     Wait...

     Wasn't there something...

     I was supposed to...?

     Something was nagging the filly, something important.

What did I forget?

     It was too late now- the filly was slowly drifting into Luna's domain, sleep sticking to her like syrup.

     Oh well.

It can wait 'til tomorrow...

*****

     In the back of the house, there was the sound of a lid opening, and a toilet flushed.

     An empty pill bottle clattered against the bathroom's tile floor.