Pills are Uncool, but Dying is Even Worse

by Swissy

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 3631

Scootaloo has super friends, an awesome flying instructor, and a loving mother. Of course, she'd feel a little more loved if said mother could get out of bed without crippling pain and depression- but beggars can't be choosers, am I right?

Triggers: This story has mentions of post-war trauma, depression, and child neglect. If any of these may trigger you, please do not read…
*****
Mom is sick. But she'll get better; Scootaloo's never seen Rainbow Dash get sick, and her mom was- dare she say it?- even more awesome than Equestria's Best Young Flyer! She deserves some rest anyway- being a medic in faraway lands couldn't be easy… but mom was a trooper, head to hoof!
The doctor says that mom should take the pills, but Scootaloo knows she doesn't do it every day. Not that Scoots can blame her, though. Pills are for weak ponies, and Rainbow Dash says weak ponies are totally uncool!
Does that make mom uncool?
*****
Note:
As my first story, I'm going to write something I can relate to. My mother has serious depression, and was deemed unfit to care for children in the past. Sometimes she wouldn't get out of bed or eat; she wasn't hungry, and forgot that her children were.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-06 22:55:46 UTC

Crying is for Babies

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

"Love" is for Babies

Warning:This story contains mentions of war trauma, depression, and child neglect. If any of these trigger you, please don't push yourself.

*****

     School was over, and the day was just starting to cool down. Birds were chirping, the sky was blue, and the green grass felt cool under her hooves; she would have loved to stick around for a while, but mom was probably lonely all by herself... after all, she did say her "Little Scootie-poo" was  the coolest filly ever!

     Too bad being the coolest filly ever meant she didn't really have time to enjoy the new spring, though. Being super important sure was hard work! Rainbow Dash said "Life is gonna throw lots of things at you, but awesome ponies like us just have to tough it out!"

     Yeah, awesome ponies. It was kinda sad, though- was she really the only awesome pony (besides her friends, of course) around here?

     She looked around at the other fillies walking past her, snorting at Dream Dancer's new manecut, and the bows in Lemon Tart's frou-frou hair. Sure, they might have had their cutie marks, but they were still totally not radical ponies. Did their moms save a griffin prince from being ripped up by a manticore? She didn't think so!

Yeah, I should really go home, before-

     "Scootaloo! Where 'ya goin'?"

     "Yeah, Scoots! What's the big idea?"

     She grimaced and turned around, scratching her purple mane nervously.

     "Sorry, guys. I have...uh, ballerina practice?" She grinned, looking for all the world like an angel.

     Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow, a trick she had picked up from Rarity. Applebloom frowned at the lie.

     "Ballerina practice." The yellow filly looked at her pegasus friend, waiting.

     Scootaloo was sweating hail under her friends' gazes. Standing up straight, she took a deep breath and lied through her teeth.

     "Yup. Ballerina practice. That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

     They sat there in silence, waiting for Scootaloo to crack.

     Her friends weren't buying it! What should she do? Uh...hey! That might work!

     Rising up on shaky back hooves, Scootaloo spun on the tip of one hoof, wings spread for balance. She had actually seen a ballerina do this once- not that anypony but her mom knew- and stuck the landing, facing her friends and smiling again.

     Applebloom looked like her eyes were about to pop out of her head. Scootaloo grinned at her. Finally, Sweetie Belle sighed, rolling her green eyes.

     "C'mon, Applebloom. There's no talking to the featherbrain when she's like this."

     They shared a sigh and walked away, leaving Scootaloo alone in the courtyard. She did feel bad for hurting their feelings, really. But they were really stubborn when they wanted to be, and she couldn't let them meet her mom. Not yet.

     'Cause she had it all planned out for them!

     When she got her cutie mark, they would all meet at her cutecinera; Rainbow Dash would tell her mom how cool Scootaloo was, and her mom would be all like whattt? And her friends would be like yeah! and be totally cool with it, because they were the bestest friends in the world. Pinkie would roll out the "Super Sugar Bomb 3.2" (Or maybe it would be 3.3 by that time.) All of Ponyville would be there, and everypony would be happy. It would be the best party in, like, ever ever ever ever!

It'll be so cool!

     The orange filly turned around and walked home, a smile on her face.

*****

     "Mom! I'm home!"

     She trotted into the kitchen, following the smell of baking cookies; mom was feeling okay today, so maybe she would say yes to the flying lessons! Scootaloo smiled.

     Flying and cookies. Yeah, that would be a great way to spend the day.

     Her mother turned around, green mane burnt and sticking up in some places.

     "Hello, honey! How was your day?" She smiled, purple eyes sparkling.

     "You're feeling better! I'm glad you aren't sick, mom!" Scootaloo threw her arms around her mother, nuzzling into her buttery coat. It didn't matter that she smelled like burnt hair.

     Her mother laughed and hugged her tight with her forehooves and wing.

     "Of course I'm all right, Scootie-poo. I was just feeling a little... under the weather yesterday." She gave a shaky smile, ear twitching nervously.

     Scootaloo wasn't having any of it. She pulled away, frowning. "That's not what the doctor said, mom..."

     The mare stuck her tongue out at her daughter, grinning goofily. She struck a pose, wing flared and forehoof raised high.

     "That doctor's blind as a bat! He wouldn't know a healthy pony if one walked up and cut his horn off!" Seeing her daughter still looking worried, she relaxed her pose, kneeling down in front of the filly. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm alright- do I really look that sick to you? Do you think I'm getting...Old?!"

     Scootaloo flushed, cheeks turning dark orange. "N-no! You look fine! It's just... well, Dash said 'Doctors might be giant eggheads, but they know what they're doing, kiddo. Leave the brainy stuff to them.' I just don't think you should overdo it, mom." The filly flapped her wings to prove her point, looking at her mother's left side.

     The adult frowned and looked at the place where her wing used to be, at the motionless yellow stub there. Her eyes glazed over, a sign that she was reliving the painful memories again. Scootaloo's ears folded back and she scuffed a hoof against floor, feeling guilty for hurting her mom.

     But the doctor had told her that mom would never get better if she overworked herself, and Dash had told her that trying to do things while you were hurt always made it worse. Even awesome ponies like her mom had to take a break every once and a while.

     She took a deep breath. "I mean, doesn't it hurt, mom? You have bags under your eyes, and you look like you've been up all day. Even super-cool ponies need to sleep, you know."

     Her mother yawned before she could reply, cheeks turning dark yellow. She sighed and looked at her daughter tiredly, nodding.

     "I guess you're right." She smiled again, ruffling her daughter's purple mane. "You're an even a better grown-up than me, Scoots!" She started to walk up the stairs, blue tail flicking across the ground. "Too bad grown-ups don't get to eat cookies, huh?"

     It took a second for that to sink in while the mare slowly inched up the stairs, grinning.

     Scootaloo's eyes widened as she heard the words don't eat cookies appear together in the sentence.

     "Wait, what?!"

*****

     Scootaloo snuggled into her sheets as her mother tucked her in softly, humming an old military song the filly didn't recognize.

     She was full of cookies and warm milk, a good end to a peaceful day- a thing that had appearances few and far between nowadays. There was always homework, an ornithologist appointment, a trip to get more pills, more pills, and more pills...

     But today had just been a day off.

     Well, besides her daughter's reasonably well-planned plea for the flying lessons with this "Rainbow Dash." Whoever this mare was, she sure hoped the "radically awesome" pony was better at resisting Scootaloo's puppy-dog face...

     The mare smiled down at her sleepy foal, looking into purple eyes that matched her own; she bent down and gave her child a peck on the forehead.

     The filly looked up at her mother groggily, frowning.

     "Aw, are you gonna get all mushy again?" the filly asked, frowning.

     The pegasus just chuckled and started moving towards the door. She paused near the doorway. "I love you."

     A tense, unsure silence filled the room- a murmur came from the bed. The mare's yellow ears flicked back, showing she was listening. "I'm sorry, what was that?" She asked, almost teasingly.

     Violet eyes above dark orange cheeks flitted around the room, looking everywhere but at the mare in the doorway.

     "I-I said...Iloveyoutoogoodnight!" With that eloquent sentence, the filly threw her head on the pillow, looking intently at the wall in front of her.

     Scootaloo's mother smiled, starting to close the door. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

     The door clicked shut, leaving the room in darkness.

*****

...

     Wait...

     Wasn't there something...

     I was supposed to...?

     Something was nagging the filly, something important.

What did I forget?

     It was too late now- the filly was slowly drifting into Luna's domain, sleep sticking to her like syrup.

     Oh well.

It can wait 'til tomorrow...

*****

     In the back of the house, there was the sound of a lid opening, and a toilet flushed.

     An empty pill bottle clattered against the bathroom's tile floor.

Losing is for Babies

    "Are you sure you'll be alright home alone, Scootaloo?" The yellow mare stood right outside the house, biting her lip.

     Scootaloo rolled her eyes, blowing her mane out of her face. "Mom, I'm nearly eleven! I can take care of myself." She struck the pose her mother often did, wings flared, chest puffed out, forehoof raised. "Besides, Rainbow Dash will be here to pick me up in a couple of minutes." Grin growing wider, the filly quickly fell into idol-worship-mode.

     Her mother looked confused for a second at the mention of Ponyville's Weather Captain. "Rainbow Dash? Why would-" She stopped and facehoofed. "Of course, the flying lessons! Good job convincing her, by the way. She'll be a great teacher, kiddo." Her eyes watered for a moment as she looked at her bare left side. She leaned down in front of her daughter, a pained expression on her face.

      "Scootaloo... I'm so sorry I can't teach you myse-" A pair of burning violet eyes was all she could see for a moment. Scootaloo's hoof was covering the mare's mouth, making sure her mother's didn't end up in there first.

     "Not another word, mom." The orange filly saw her mother try to speak again, and held a her wing in front of her own muzzle, shushing the mare. "No. It's not your fault and we both know it." There was an awkward silence.

     Realizing she hadn't washed last night, the orange filly blushed and quickly pulled her grimy hoof out of her mother's mouth. Trying to save face, the filly waved her dam away.

     "Commence the expediting of your departure, foal!" The filly smiled at her choice of words; her mother raised an eyebrow, and Scootaloo smiled. "Wanna' know a secret? When two of your friends' big sisters are friends with Twilight Sparkle, you pick up a couple of things."

     Her mother rolled her eyes, smiling. "I guess you do, huh?"

     "Of course! You doubt my words' truthful integrity? For this slight, you shall be exiled!" Somewhere during the exchange, the filly had stood herself on one of the kitchen's wooden chairs, looking down at her mother from the makeshift throne.

    The mare laughed knelt mockingly before the filly. "Yes, milady! Whatever your Majesty commands, your worthless- neigh, scum of a subject will uphold till her last breath!" They shared a fit of giggles (that were, according to Scootaloo, "normally awesome laughs that weren't fillyish at all") and winked at each other, still snorting.

     Suddenly, the yellow pegasus looked at the clock above the oven and gasped. "Oh, hay! You've made me late, you- you... vile little rapstallion!" She blew a raspberry, turned and bolted down the drive, battle-hardened legs pumping. Even while galloping, she looked back at her daughter and smiled. Disappearing over the hills, Scootaloo heard the routine "I love you!" echo in the trees.

     And then her worry-wart of a mother was gone.

     Giving a little sigh, Scootaloo wiped her forehead in relief. That was way too close! They can't meet yet! Not until the party!

     She went to get her goggles from the porch. Almost time for her first flying lesson! Her heart felt like it wanted to pop and come up her throat at the same time, which was probably bad. Well, at least I won't have to wait for Rainbow long...

     As if on cue, the filly caught sight of a rainbow blur in the sky, smashing into clouds on the way like a pinball on steroids.

5...

     The speeding blur got closer, and she could make out the sound of heavy wingbeats.

4...

     Branches started to bend in the pegasus' wind.

3...

     Now she made out a tiny blue (cyan, if she was with Sweetie Belle) pony past all the rainbow.

2...

     Scootaloo could almost see the grin on Rainbow's face.

1...

     The mare started dropping into a breakneck dive.

Touchdown!

     "Incoming!"

      There was a long scrape against the ground and a cloud of dust as Rainbow Dash narrowly pulled out of the dive at the last minute, making her grand entrance. Clearing the dust with a beat of her wings, Rainbow winked at the open-mouthed filly.

     "Enjoy the show, squirt?"

*****

     Wing-ups, gliding practice, hovering,speedometer tests, lifting weights, controlled falls, strength building, flapping technique, speed training, feather tilts, endurance runs and a whole variety of other things had succeeded in making Scootaloo's wings burn whenever she tried to move them.

     At least she could glide for a minute or so now.

     "Stand up straight, Fledgling!" Ugh. "Yes, ma'am! Would you like me to jump through a flaming ring of fire while I'm at it, ma'am?" Scootaloo grimaced and straightened, looking at her new teacher with more respect (and a bit more sourness) than ever.

     (*An orange filly lay panting on the grass. The pegasus in front of her frowned. "You're tired already, Fledgling? I do this every morning!" The filly shook her head and nodded, wobbling onto four legs again.*)

     "Yes, ma'am!" The filly said, hoof on her forehead.

     Newly dubbed "Captain" Rainbow Dash nodded, satisfied with her new student's behavior. Suddenly, a grin spread across the mare's face as she glanced at the sky above.

     "Just one more piece of training before you go, kiddo..."

     Scootaloo groaned silently, wings twitching at the mention of more exercise; she was curious about what had her mentor so pumped up, though. Seeing Scootaloo's interest, Rainbow hovered in the air.

     "Cloud-wrangling!" The mare smirked and folded her hooves across her chest, pleased with herself.

    Scootaloo stared at the blue pony like she was crazy.

     "Wha...?" Shaking her head, the filly looked up sadly at her teacher. "B-but... I can't fly..." The orange foal looked down, like she was disappointed at not being able to be in the air after a just day of training. That face was why Rainbow was doing this- so that this filly would have such a big weight lifted off of her thin shoulders.

     The blue mare's smile grew even bigger.

     "Who said anything about flying?" Before the filly could reply, Rainbow shot into the air above them, grabbing a cloud from the sky. She tugged on the fluff until it hovered gently just above the ground.

     "Hop on, Scoots." The mare patted the top of the cloud invitingly.

     Scootaloo's face slowly lifted as she looked at the cloud in front of her. She had seen foals play in cloud-forts before, but she hadn't thought about it very much. What was her teacher planning?

     Scootaloo walked forward slowly, poking the cloud. Not that she would tell Dash, but this was the first time she had ever touched a cloud. Some pegasus she was.

     Her feathers tingled as she felt the cloud's massive amount of magic.

     "Dash-no, no- Captain? Why does this cloud...?" Her teacher just winked.

     "I just gave it a little... boost. You'll see why later. Don't worry, it's still perfectly safe!" She motioned to Scootaloo again.

     The filly hopped onto the cloud; it was odd, firm under her hooves yet unbelievably soft. The only comparison was... like swimming without getting wet- exactly and not at all what you expected it to be. A shaky smile spread over her face as she trotted around the edge of the cloud, not very tired anymore. Rainbow Dash just watched, happy.

     Suddenly, Scootaloo stopped.

     "Hey, Rai-ugh, Captain, how is this training? N-not that I don't appreciate it and all, but-" She was interrupted by a cloud-ball smacking her in the face.

     A voice came from inside the cloud, where Rainbow Dash had hidden.

     "Pegasus magic training! Catch me if you can!" Scootaloo laughed, glad to have some fun. She-pushed?- at the cloud with her magic, jumping into the cloud.

     "You're on, you old grey mare!"

*****

     Their little cloud was barely big enough to stand on anymore, all the extra energy used up in lightning, cloud, and rain balls while they... well, played. However, almost all of Scootaloo's pegasus magic was gone, even though she had more than the average filly.

     All in all, Rainbow Dash considered this day's training to be a success.

     The blue mare draped a wing over the filly's back, looking down at her new student. Scootaloo smiled back, tired but happy. She watched the orange sunset, streaked with magenta, warm light falling over the pair. She even thought her wings felt a little bit stronger than before.

     All in all, Scootaloo considered this day's training to be a success.

     "I think I'm ready to go home now, Rainbow. Thanks for everything." With this, the filly jumped to the ground, knees shaking. She tried to take a step forward, but collapsed on the dirt.

     Rainbow swooped down, helping the foal up.

     "Heh, maybe I pushed you a little too hard, kiddo." She stroked her chin thoughtfully, brainstorming. "You know what? Hop on." She spread her wings, motioning for the filly to jump on her back.

     Scootaloo, too tired to argue, just climbed on. A few wingbeats later, and they were in the air, wind blowing through their manes.

     Rainbow turned and smiled at the filly on her back, who blushed when she realized her wings were spread. She didn't close them, however; the feel of the air through her feathers was too amazing.

     The view was beautiful: blue skies all around them- below, green forests and brown dirt paths, ponies trotting home as the day ended, off to their tiny houses- Hey, there's mine!

     Wait, what's that? No, it couldn't be...

     That looks kinda like...

     "Rainbow Dash?" Her voice sounded less calm than it should have.

     "Yeah, I see it too..." She adjusted her wings and started spiraling down, towards... whatever it was.

     As they got closer to the ground, Scootaloo's mouth became dry.

     "N-no... it can't..." Her eyes widened as she saw the one wing spread on the ground.

     "MOM!" Even though they were two yards from the ground, the filly leapt off Rainbow Dash's back, gliding and landing next to the mare on the dirt. A small pool of blood stained her mother's mouth, soaking the dirt below. The foal started crying, tears landing on the mare's dirty green mane.

     Rainbow Dash stayed calm.

     "Scootaloo, stay here. Right here. I'll go get some help." Her idol's voice was cold, controlled. Soon Dash was in the air, streaking towards the clinic.

     She sat there and waited.

     And waited.

     And waited.

     She heard muffled shouts coming from the sky.

     "Miss Dash, unhoof me this instant! What has gotten into-" Her mother's doctor saw the ponies, and his healing instincts kicked in; diagnostic spells ran all over her mother's body, the grey of his magic making her look even more sick. Scootaloo sniffed and stared up at the doctor with teary eyes.

     "I-is she gonna be okay?" Her voice cracked with worry.

     The green stallion sighed and looked at her, seeming like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

     "I don't know, Scootaloo. I don't know."

*****

     Soft voices floated upstairs from the kitchen.

     "Miss Dash, are you sure? I could always-"

     "No, Doc. I'll stay with her."

     Scootaloo pulled the covers up gently over her mother, taking care not to wrap up her wing. She sniffed and wiped her face, trying not to wake up the yellow pegasus with her crying. The foal smiled shakily down at her mother; she bent down and gave the mare a peck on the forehead.

     The filly gave a watery chuckle and started moving towards the door. She paused near the doorway.

     "Goodnight, mom."

     A murmur came from the bed. Scootaloo paused, her orange ears flicking back to show she was listening. "What was that?" she asked.

     Violet eyes looked at nothing but the foal in the doorway.

     "I love you."

     With that small sentence, the filly ran out of the door, not looking behind her.

     The door slammed shut, leaving the room in darkness.

*****

What...

     What happened?

     A yellow wing flicked.

Scootaloo?

     Baby?

     A small sigh escaped her nostrils.

Oh well.

     I can see her tomorrow...

*****

     In the small bedroom, an orange filly sobbed, tears soaking her pillow.

     "If you love me, why won't you let me help...?"