“Nothing like a good run to get the magic flowing.” Silver Spade commented to herself as she trotted through the warehouse district of Palomino. She was a light orange unicorn mare with a rust colored mane and emerald eyes. Her cutie mark was a crossed pick and shovel, marking her talent for moving the earth. If any pony didn’t see that, they could guess her passion by the light layer of dirt embedded in her fur. Not that she was against being clean, but her job tended to ensure she never was.

Today was a day like any other. Get up, eat, do some exercise, and go to work. However, today she had the day off and wanted to explore around the large city. The warehouses were always nice, especially hearing the sounds of machines running, vendors hawking their wares, the crash from down the alley… Silver Spade paused, “Wait a minute.” She cocked an ear towards the source and sure enough, she heard another crash, but it was barely audible above the other background noise. “Better check it out, somepony might be hurt.” Of course, it could also be robbers, but you don’t shift tons of dirt every day without the magic to back it up.

As she got closer, the noise grew louder and she could hear somepony talking and some scuffling about. Silver Spade treaded softly as she reached the door, which was cracked open, and turned her ear to the room. What she heard made her eyes widen in disbelief.

“Haha! You thought you could escape me that easily, did you?” A familiar female called out. Crates shook, and the grunt of a stallion being knocked down came next, “You’re off your game, Derring Do.”

Silver Spade couldn’t believe it, ‘Derring’s in town… and he didn’t TELL ME?! I mean, despite our last meeting, he was at least nice enough to tell me he was in the neighborhood. Maybe it was supposed to be a surprise? And who in Tartarus is he fighting now? Sounds familiar, but I can’t put my hoof on it.’ she thought before returning her attention to the sounds of struggling.

“Oh come on Ahuizota.” Derring said indignantly, “It’s rather hard running around with this artifact blocking my view.”

‘Wait, isn’t that the blue fuzzball who kept giving me the evil eye?’ Silver Spade thought, ‘She doesn’t give up, does she?’

“Hmmphf! Excuses. No matter, as you shall be punished for your transgressions!” Ahuizota declared.

“Wait! No, no, no,-MMPH!” Silver Spade heard some strange sounds of struggling and flesh. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say it was an intimate scene happening. However, curiousity took over and she peeked around the corner to see Ahuizota pinning Derring to the ground and eating his face off.

She gasped, and then she felt her body impulsively take action to save her friend. Her horn lit up and grabbed some empty crates. “Think fast!” was all the warning she gave before chucking the boxes at the big blue target. They collided with a satisfying crash, pulling her off of Derring, who tried to make sense of the confusion. Spade moved quickly and yanked Derring and the artifact out of the warehouse with her magic, and then hauled ass like a cave was about to collapse.

As she swerved between ponies in the streets, Derring managed to make sense of his situation in the air. “Silver Spade? What are you doing here? I thought you were working today?”

“I got the day off, -hup- lucky for you.” She replied, as she jumped over a line of boxes, “Still hunting for ancient bits, huh? You could have at least told me you were here. I would have been glad to help.”

“I was going to surprise you tomorrow.” Derring said, frowning, “I hardly ever get to surprise you.” Silver Spade chuckled, remembering all the times he tried to make some dramatic reveal or give her a fright, but only one in five actually worked to surprise her.

“You should thank me for stopping Ahuizota from using your face as a chew toy.” She said proudly.

Derring rolled his eyes, “I had that under control. Also, I wish you didn’t do that. Ahuizota has been getting really territorial on me lately.”

Spade snorted, “What? She won’t let the other bad guys get a piece of you? Are you her personal chew toy?”

“…Sort of.” Derring said, looking away, “It’s more on account of the mood swings that come with pregnancy.”

The words forced Silver Spade to stop in her tracks, skidding to a halt at an intersection in the alleys. She spun on Derring, “Wait, what?! I don’t…. Who wou-… But… That’s… Huh?!” She spluttered out.

“Yep.” Derring nodded sagely, “That happened.”

“Who’s the schmuck that put the bun in her oven?” Spade asked, “More importantly, how did she even get him to do the dirty?” She noticed Derring was looking at anywhere but her, giving a nervous laugh. Her mind made the connection a second later and promptly shut down after it, letting Derring and the artifact fall to the ground, after he caught it of course. She stood frozen for a solid minute as her brain tried to function again. When she got her mouth working she said, “I’m probably still asleep at home. I just need a hit and I’ll wake up from this nightmare.”

“With pleasure.” Silver Spade was suddenly body checked by a blue blur of maternal fury and pinned to the ground. After the shock, she looked at the face of her assailant and nearly wet herself. Ahuizota’s face was an inch from her muzzle, her teeth bared and her eyes filled with an anger only a mother (to-be) could hold.

“Still not awake?” Ahuizota bellowed, “Maybe if I take off a limb or two? That should work!” Her claws slowly tightened on the pony’s limbs until a pair of golden tan hooves wrapped around her and pulled.

“Whoa there, Ahui! Spade is a friend, not food.” Derring grunted out as he pulled, putting his wings into it, “She didn’t mean any harm. It was just a big misunderstanding.”

Ahuizota whipped her head around to face him, “She threw a crate at me!”

“And she’s very sorry for that,” he turned to face his old partner, “Isn’t that right, ‘Ace’?”

Said partner was silent for a moment. “In my defense,” Silver Spade spoke up, “I thought you were eating his face off. But yeah, I’m sorry. Now can you please let go? I’m starting to lose feeling in my hooves.”

Ahuizota glared at her once more before huffing, “Fffine.” She retracted her claws and stepped off the unicorn, though not before flicking her nose with her tail hand. Looking back, Ahuizota frowned and asked, “You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?”

Before Spade could answer, Derring landed and intervened, “Right, well I was planning for you two to meet tomorrow, but I suppose now will have to do. Silver Spade, this is my fiancé Ahuizota. Ahuizota, this is Silver Spade. You remember her, right? She was my partner when you were trying to unearth the Torc of the Covenant?”

A spark of recognition flashed in Ahuizota’s eyes, “Oh, right!” then her eyes dangerously narrowed at the mare, “Oh, right.” The sudden mood change startled Spade, but luckily Derring jumped in once again.

“How about we get something to eat, huh? I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.” He said as he led the way down the alley. Not long afterwards, the three of them found themselves at a small café in a private booth, Silver Spade on one side and the couple on the other. Their waiter had just left with their orders, leaving them to talk. Naturally, Silver Spade asked the first question.

“How in the hay did you two get together? I thought you hated his guts?” she gestured to Ahuizota, “Considering all the times you tried to kill him, I just don’t get how you two made up!”

Ahuizota’s response was just childishly sticking her tongue out. Derring rolled his eyes with a smile and responded, “It actually happened during her last attempt to take over the world. Same song and dance as always: Find the apocalyptic artifact, get to the ancient temple, get stuck in some traps, escape, and save the day. Only things turned out… differently.”

“Gee, I wonder what?” Silver Spade deadpanned. She noticed Ahuizota was taking a great interest in some spots on the table, her blush slowly reaching tomato levels.

Derring chuckled, “As it turned out, said artifact was made to help repopulate cities, not the end of the world.” He then went into the more minute details about the civilization and the artifacts. Next to him, Ahuizota was trying to make herself smaller. “One thing led to another, she told me she had a crush on me, I told her I’d take care of her, and here we are!”

The words hung in the air as Silver Spade tried to process what she just heard. “Wait, so you’re telling me that you two banged each other’s brains out because of a translation error?!” Almost immediately, her shocked face turned to one of pure mirth as she burst out laughing. “Looks like… hehehe that fantasy roleplay of yours… pffffttt BAHAHAHAA… finally came true, eh?” she gasped out amidst the laughter before falling out of her seat.

Ahuizota raised an eyebrow at the comment and glanced at Derring, “What is she talking about?”

“Uh… nothing important.” He replied, though he wouldn’t look directly at her. Derring could sense that his fiancé wouldn’t drop the matter until she knew. Luckily for him, Spade regained control of her breathing and climbed back into her seat.

“Whew! That made my day.” She said with a faint giggle, “I haven’t laughed that hard since our date in the Alps. Remember that?”

Derring glowered at his old friend, “We agreed never to speak of that again.” It only served to make Spade laugh even harder.

“Oh, come on Derring. It was hilarious and you know it.” Spade said with a humored grin.

“You two dated?” Ahuizota interrupted with a slight frown.

Silver Spade turned to her, “Yeah, for a while. We broke it off because of other obligations or commitments we had. No hard feelings.” Ahuizota silently let go a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, with my constant globetrotting and her need for steady work in digs, we couldn’t really see each other that much, so we stopped.” Derring stated, then added with a sly grin, “At least I don’t have to worry about her foghorn snoring anymore.”

“Ack! Low blow!” Spade said in mock-offense, “This coming from the stallion who would rather cuddle with a plushie than me!” She leaned towards Ahuizota, “Is he still using that thing? What was its name? Wrappers the mummy king?”

“Hey, leave him out of this!” Derring objected, though his smile betrayed the tone of his voice. He and Spade soon fell into laughing together. Ahuizota looked on, slightly jealous at the sight.

“Good times.” Spade said in a reminiscent tone, then went straight to business, “Hey Derring, can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Who’s better in bed? Me or Ahuizota?” Were it not for the background noise of the café, one could hear a pin drop. When the waiter returned ten minutes later with the food, especially the pile for the blue one, it looked like the scene of a foalnapping.

*****

Dear Diary,

You remember that one mare I dubbed ‘Succubus’ Spade? So I met her again recently after Derring and I liberated another artifact from a collector. Well, by ‘met’ I mean she hit me with a crate because I was “eating Derring’s face off”.

Okay, so maybe I was a bit too enthusiastic using tongue during our make out.

Anyways, it turns out my worst fears and greatest hopes came true. She did date Derring, but they obviously broke up since I have him now. I know that sounds a bit mean, maybe it’s the hormones talking, but in my defense I did start having my crush on him around that time. After talking to her a bit, I discovered she’s really laid back about a lot of things, especially how she talks. With Derring as a common point, we had a shaky start, but now I’m rather glad to have her as a friend. She even agrees with Derring’s mom that Derring and I make a cute couple.

However, while I did gain a friend in her, I also received a rival. After asking who was better in the sack, we’ve been trying to one up each other. Derring doesn’t mind one bit, that is, unless we work him to the point of exhaustion. Don’t worry, we’ve made sure to use condoms this time. Right now, I’m in the lead, but just barely. The fact that she’s bi really caught me by surprise. Now I know where Derring learned to eat me out so well, not to mention the kissing.

I have to go now, Spade is taking me to this supposedly amazing spa to relax. She says it would help with my sore back muscles. I hope she’s right because this baby isn’t getting any lighter.

With love,

Ahuizota

Author's Note

Goddammit. The conception of this chapter was like passing a kidney stone. I mean, I originally had an idea where Ahui meets Derring's coworkers, but that ended up using the same joke as the parents chapter: Derring forgot to tell them. I didn't want to reuse that joke so I used a tangent in which they could be involved and thus the idea for the wedding day came in. HOWEVER, when I started writing about the maid of honor, I had to write a whole chapter for her and so here it is!

As stated before, this is the last bonus chapter before sequel. I do have some ideas of what to write about (yes, clop included), but I am open to suggestions (and some fetishes for clop parts). Please don't be afraid to comment or PM them to me! I love to hear from you guys.

Also, out of curiousity, who wants a threesome chapter in the sequel? First reader who wants it make a comment about it and everyone after them upvote it. Thank you