Culinary Combat

by BrianBlessedPony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Angel, Fluttershy
Length: 1337

Kitchen combat over the affection of one pony...

In a small cottage outside of Ponyville, two males fight for the want and affection of one pony they both care about deeply...

Published 2011-11-04 22:53:44 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-04 20:15:24 UTC

Chapter 1

Dawn broke in Equestria as Princess Celestia took breakfast with Princess Luna, the latter having dinner. It was the perfect spring dawn, awakening birds which began their daily chorus.

The combined brightness and happy bird call awakened Big Macintosh, as it always did. A lifetime of early rises had assured that every morning he could prepare a little treat for a certain pony.

With a deal of care which could only ever be developed by a stallion his size, Big Mac slid out of the bed, ensuring not to disturb the bed's other occupant. After successfully navigating his way out, the red pony gazed at the figure still there.

Gently breathing in a deep sleep, Fluttershy slowly and delicately spread out into the empty space of the bed. The sight warmed Big Macintosh’s heart, reminding him why he loved her so. It took the silent pony a while before breaking his gaze and sneaking out. He wanted to make another trip, but time was of the essence.

Soon the farm pony surveyed the cottages kitchen. It had everything he needed, but his real battle wouldn’t be from the kitchen, or his cooking either. Despite this, he plunged into Fluttershy’s kitchen. Whilst he still worked on the farm, he preferred to live here with Fluttershy nowadays. Regardless the invitation had been left open from his family that the two could move in at any point.

Placing some wood on the fire, it didn’t take long for the stove's flames to roar, heat spreading through the metal. Waiting for the heat to die down a little, Mac got the largest saucepan in the house out and filled it with oats and water. It may be a simple breakfast, but to Big Macintosh that was all that was needed.

Placing the pan over the red hot metal, the stallion moved to grab a sharp knife. Whilst the stallion was happy enough with oats, he wanted to make it more special for his delicate Pegasus. From the cupboard a bunch of bananas materialised. They may be a fruit the Apple clan weren’t familiar with, but even Big Macintosh had to admit they were okay. Reaching back for the knife, the hoof found nothing but bare surface. With a deep sigh the pony turned, his opponent had arrived.

On a work top sat the white rabbit known as Angel. In one pair it clutched a wooden spoon, in the other the knife. The two males scowled at one another, daring the other to move. After a few eons, the smaller of the two pointed the blade at the doorframe. The pony instantly knew that the rabbit wanted him to leave.

“Mmnope.” The response was deep, low and final from Big Macintosh.

Angel took the elements of ‘surprise,’ bewilderment ‘and ‘cute fluffy animal gone psycho’ and began his assault first. With a single powerful hop the little critter launched itself at the pony. Big Mac was just able to avoid having a wooden spoon collide with his head. The pony struggled for another knife.

The violent rabbit bounced off of the cold store, bashing the door open and unleashing a torrent of fruits that followed his flight path. The flying leporine managed to twist its body as his enemy, forgetting his strength, yanked a blade out of a drawer so hard it flew up. Luckily the worst it did was slice a pineapple in half.

The lapin landed on the table, having just enough time to thrust a large mixing bowl in his place, catching the flying produce. The stumbling stallion managed to regain his stance; Angel decided to try and break this.

Taking to the air again, the miscreant leapt for Big Macintosh’s head. The stallion was better prepared for the assault this time and was able to bounce the rabbit. Off course and stunned, the brave bunny plummeted upon the bunched bananas, breaking his fall.

Dazed, Angel looked up to see a large hoof coming down upon him. The barrel roll he performed was well timed as Mac ended up stomping on the banana’s, instantly peeling the fruit and sending them round the room after ejecting from the skins. The banana blitzkrieg barrage forced the two combatants to shield themselves until it was over.

With the fear of banana attack over, the prone bunny swung his blade at the red farmer. Steel met steel as Mac’s own knife deflected the swipe clumsily but he obviously had a strength advantage even using his mouth to hold the knife.

The two fenced with their knives around the kitchen. Brute force and stamina took on speed and agility. Nothing was safe in-between the whirling blades as they sliced banana’s fruit in the bowel, two pot plants and a string of garlic.

Eventually the two broke from their combat, panting heavily and eyes locked on one another. Hanging from a cupboard door handle, Angel adopted a pose that seemed to state “You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Angel Bunny!” Big Macintosh responded with a stance that screamed “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!”

With enough oxygen in their lungs, Angel leapt towards the stallion who galloped forward as a stampede of one. Both prepared to finish this once and for all. With the thoughts raging through their brains, the rabbit aimed for the ponies face, weapons drawn.

And then there was a noise. As sounds went, it was hardly even at average speaking volume. Regardless, it was enough to alert the culinary combatants. Two pairs of eyes widened in horror as they froze in attack; somepony was moving about upstairs, making the floorboards creek.

The pair unfroze, instantly smacking into one another. Peeling the bunny pancake off his face, the farmer was quick to finish off the oatmeal by dumping as many sliced banana pieces in the bubbling pot. On the other paw, Angel had bolted back to his bowl of fruit and was working fast on peeling and slicing the remaining fruit.

The rushing stallion moved to another cupboard and caught his previous enemy’s attention. Gripping it with his teeth, Big Macintosh threw a plate like a Frisbee at the bunny that expertly caught it. This small routine was copied for further plates and bowls.

After Big Macintosh placed the hot pan on the table, the two males looked up to the door as the gently flutter of wings announced the arrival of Fluttershy.

“oh, you two didn’t have to do this!” she said with a smile and a blush. Held in her front legs was a small rosy peach colour pegasus filly with long yellow mane and tail. As the butter coloured pony placed the foal in a specially made high chair, the little pony looked around in awe. She instantly spotted the huge pony in the room.

“Da!” she just about managed in a squeak, leaning forward for Big Macintosh.

“Eeyup!” the stallion chuckled as he leaned forward and nuzzled her. “Ya so close too!”

After giggling at her father’s voice, she turned towards the rabbit that was mixing fruit in a bowl still.

“Ba!” was her second squeak, holding front legs out to the rabbit. Hopping easily, Angel settled himself in the legs and was rewarded with a gentle hug and nuzzle from the peach pony.

The elder ponies sat down at the table, Fluttershy ladling the steaming hot oats in two normal bowls and a smaller one. The pegasus did the same with the fruit salad, slowly feeding the little one smaller chunks as the oatmeal cooled.

“If it wasn’t for you two,” Fluttershy said, delicately giving the foal a piece of pineapple, “I don’t think I’d ever have enough time to look after our animal friends or little Blossom here!”

Sharing a glance, neither rabbit nor pony had the courage to look at Fluttershy. The pink mane pony on the other hoof had one simple thought floating through her head.

‘Should I tell them that I know they fight every morning...’