The Unknown Emotion Arises
Author's Note
Hello and welcome back all of you fantastic readers! For any of you that are wondering why I am writing this new fic while my previous story "When We Danced" is still unfinished, don't panic. I fully explain the situation with "WWD" in my recent blog post "An Update on Not Updating."
I will go back and finish it when I get back into the direction I want it to go. As of right now, I just need to clear out a few ideas I've been having so I can get everything straightened out.
Anyway, sorry for the delay. I'll try to not to leave you guys hanging for too long.
I will just say that in the following is in reference to the Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks movie. So if you have not seen the film yet, there may or may not be small spoilers in this fic. I apologize in advance and highly encourage you to go see that movie.
I have re-watched several scenes from aforementioned movie in the hopes that I have gotten the character personalities close enough to the canon personalities so that I don't totally butcher them. Hope you all like this fic!
Without any further ado, Enjoy!
EDIT - Oh dear Luna, this was supposed to be a short one-shot. It is over 16,000 words... I am a mess 
On the other hand... This is my longest story yet! 
PS - Apparently some didn't like my sh
tty chapter title 
Hope the new one is better. 
The Unknown Emotion Arises
A Sunlit Night
Back in Ponyville, a few weeks had passed since the defeat of the sirens and the farewell of everyone at Canterlot High. Twilight Sparkle had started to grow more accustomed to her new role as the Princess of Friendship. Having her own castle was still new but she was warming up to it a bit quicker. Having all of her friends by her side to assist her should she need it was possibly the nicest perk of all. They always had each other's backs should even the smallest issue arise. Of course, they couldn't remain in the crystalline throne room all the time. They each had their own lives and responsibilities to attend to. Rarity had her fashion career and sister, Rainbow Dash had to help the other pegasi to keep the skies clear or brew up a storm, Fluttershy needed to care for the many animals around and in her cottage, Applejack had an entire orchard to help oversee, and Pinkie Pie...
Pinkie actually seemed to remain present most of the time despite working at the bakery for the Cakes, spending time with all of her other friends, and arranging a new party for somepony every other minute or so.
Even though she got to see her friends on a regular basis, Twilight still felt a little lonely in the castle from time to time. Thankfully, Spike also lived there so it wasn't empty all the time. Some days seemed to drag on longer than usual and whenever they did, Twilight needed to find something to do. However, being as orderly and neat as she was, there wasn't a lot to do during her free time. It seemed like that is all she had now. Time.
Today was one of those days where there was nothing to do because everything was done and Twilight's friends all had something they needed to get done. It is on these days that somepony would most likely find the Princess of Friendship in her library.
And that is where we see her now...
Twilight
"Oh wait, this one looks good!" Reaching up to grab the binding over my head, I pulled it out a little ways only to remember that I had read this one several times before. With a small sigh, I pushed the book back in and looked to another shelf.
"I can't believe I've gone through so many of Celestia's books already. It really doesn't feel like I even received them that long ago." It was awfully kind of the Princess to lend so many books to the library's "re-opening." The fact is that I simply read too fast and don't pace myself enough.
Turning towards the library's doorway, I let my head lower and tried to think of something, anything, to do. I rounded the corner at the end of the short corridor and found myself in the throne room. Upon reaching the front of my own throne, I looked over at the others, admiring the markings along their tops. Each the cutie mark of their designated pony. I jumped with a start once I reached Pinkie's throne.
Due to the fact that she was sitting in it.
"Pinkie?! When did you get in here?"
"Oh! Hey there Twilight!" She said with an even brighter expression now on her face. "I just wanted to come check on you."
"Why's that? I'm not sick or anything."
"Well you've been cooped up in this big castle for a few days now. I didn't know what you were doing in here for so long so I thought maybe you were just studying or doing something science-y in one of the towers but then I thought you might have come into contact with one of those vampire bats and it had bitten you and you couldn't come out during the day anymore because of the sunlight, and that you could only wander about at night to eat, and I haven't seen Spike in a while either where is he Twilight? Did the bats get him too? Ohmygosh! Did you mistake him for a piece of fruit and EAT HIM?! Twilight! You shouldn't mistake baby dragons and other ponies for food and..."
My head was practically spinning. I had to smile at the thought that she at least came to check on me.
"Pinkie" I said interrupting her accusations, "Spike is fine and he is currently sleeping in today. I'm perfectly fine, too. Just a little bored."
"Well that's a relief! I don't even want to think about how Fluttershy would react if she knew you ate Spike. Anyway, I came by with a gift from Sugarcube Corner." She had reached behind the back of her throne and pulled out a small, yellow box covered in orange stripes while wrapped in a thin, red ribbon.
Walking over to where Pinkie sat, I continued to admire how beautifully the box was being presented. "Thanks Pinkie, but what is it?"
"Open it!" She had begun to bounce in place, still in her throne.
Chuckling at her enthusiasm, I took the box in my magic and started pulling gently at the ribbon as not to tear into it. It simply looked too nice to harm.
"Hurry, Twilight! She had begun to bounce quicker with a more anxious look on her face.
"Don't worry, Pinkie, I'll get it. There." I removed the lid to find a few individually wrapped... Well I'm not sure what they are. "Again, what are they?"
"They are these really tasty cakes that the Cakes and I bought from a traveling salespony. He was from reeeeaaalllyyy far away, I think his name was Sun Booth. Anyway he said that these cakes have been made since a reeeeaaalllyyy long time ago and that he was traveling around selling them. They are like sugary pancakes that come all packaged up like that. Sun Booth said that he lets ponies have the recipe so they can make their own and how nice is that? His still taste better than everypony else's though because he keeps them special to make sure you can always tell the original apart and they were so good that I bought a box for us and our friends!"
Even though I was glad she had retained so much information, I still didn't get an answer. "Pinkie, did you catch what they were called?"
"Oh right, they are called Sun Cakes. Just warning you though they may be a little dry since it is just the bread and no anything else to go with it. They are really flakey and good though! I heard that they're good with tea or even when they are dissolved in water and..."
"Well I'll just try them plain first then all of that other stuff." She stopped talking and nodded in approval. As I went to take the first cake out I glanced up at Pinkie and noticed she was eyeing the food rather intensely. "Would you like to split one? I've got plenty of them in here."
"Really? Thanks Twilight!" She happily took one out of the box and after opening it, she split it down the middle and reached it out to me. I took a bite and realized that Pinkie was right. They were really flakey and good. I took another bite of the semi-sun cake. It was surprisingly sweet on the inside. "Hey, Twilight, do you know what these should be called when they are split in half?"
Looking back to her away from the pastry in hoof, I just looked at her questioningly, not wanting to speak with food in my mouth.
"They should be called Sunset Shimmer Cakes!"
I almost choked on my cake. "What did you say?"
"I said, 'They should be called Sunset Cakes!' because they are like half of a sun." She had replied with the exact tone as before.
"Oh, alright. I thought you said something else." She took a bite of her cake half and tilted her head to the left.
"What?"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"What?"
"Nothing. I just thought you said something different."
"What?"
"Nothing, Pinkie."
"What?"
"It's nothing to worry about. Just..."
"What?"
"Pinkie!" She paused and had her head cocked to her right side. Every time she had said 'what,' a few crumbs had flown out of her mouth.
"Twilight?"
"Wha- Yes?" She just giggled a little as she looked at me. "What is it, Pinkie?
"Why are you blushing so hard?"
I raised a hoof up to my cheek. My face had grown warm and, apparently at the same time, red.
"I- I don't know, Pinkie."
"I think you do."
"Well I don't."
"I bet you do."
"Then you would lose that bet."
"I don't think so, Twilight."
"Well why is that?"
"Because you stuttered a little."
"N- No I didn't!"
"Yep! I bet it is because you were thinking of somepony."
"Well I wasn't."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really. I wasn't thinking of anypony special."
"Aha!" She suddenly shot upright, jutting a hoof in my direction.
"What?!"
"I didn't say you were thinking of somepony special!"
"Well... Wait! Is that what I said?!"
"Pinkie Promise!" She made a gesture resembling her smashing a pastry into her eye.
"Well in any case I wasn't."
"Twilight." She tried to hide an ever growing giggle behind her hooves.
"What?"
"You're blushing even harder."
"I..."
I wasn't sure how to react to the situation any longer. I lifted Pinkie up in my magic and started to walk with her in front of myself.
"Twiiiiliiiight! Who is iiiit? Is it somepony I know, because I know a LOT of ponies. Come on, you can tell me! Who is it? Stallion, mare, pegasi, unicorn, earth pony, alicorn, bat pony, vampire bat pony, donkey, mule, changeling, dragon, griffon, ghost, draconequus, statue, painting, another art style, fictional character? I don't care who or what! You've just got to let me know, Twilight!"
She had begun to squirm so much that she was tumbling upside down and spinning to the left, all in the same place. I pushed open the front door to the castle and set her down outside. I proceeded to then close the door. I could still hear her asking through it, however.
I opened the door to see Pinkie still in the place I sat her down in.
"Did you change your mind about telling me yet?" She wore a big smile on her face in expectation of finally getting an answer. Instead I levitated two more sun cakes over to her and she snatched them happily out of the air. "Thanks Twilight! I'll see you later!"
She then turned and joyfully bounced off with the other boxes of cakes she had yet to deliver to our other friends. I backed up and closed the door a second time and continued back to the throne room. I didn't mean to be rude with Pinkie but...
After reaching the thrones I saw that Spike was up and... Eating a sun cake.
He turned around and looked at me, swallowing.
"I assumed these were to be shared?" I giggled as he wiped away a few crumbs from his mouth.
"Don't worry about it, Spike, they were. Just be sure to leave me a couple." He looked more than happy to comply. As he put the lid back on their box, I had an idea. "Hey, Spike?"
"What is it, Twilight? Need something?" Having taken the last bite of his cake, he picked up the yellow and orange box and turned to me.
"You wouldn't happen to know where Celestia's special book is would you?"
"Which one?"
"The one Sunset Shimmer used to contact us when the portal wasn't working."
"Oh right! I think it's still on the mirror, actually."
"Oh, yeah... That would make sense wouldn't it? Well thanks anyway, Spike."
Spike nodded and went off about his business towards the library. Time to go see if the book's contents flowed both ways. In other words, if Sunset Shimmer could receive a message from my world. More specifically, from me.
I started to walk off in the same direction as Spike, back into the library, still assuming that Celestia's book was still in its makeshift "mantle."
Upon reaching the library, I walked to the front of the mirror and turned to see that the book was still...
"Not there!" The book's small nook was void of any type of literature, let alone the only shortcut to and from the parallel world. "Where is it? It should be right there!" I turned around to look at the nearby table and found no trace of the object. Looking back to the mirror, on the other side was a ladder leading up to where the book should have been.
"Oh no. Somepony must have broken in and taken the book to keep the portal closed on short notice! Spike, come here quickly!"
"I'm right here, Twilight. What are you yelling about?" I turned to see Spike standing directly behind me.
"Spike, somepony has stolen Celestia's book! We have to hurry and find the others."
"Um, Twilight?"
"Maybe they haven't gotten far. I am certain the portal was operational when I was in here earlier."
*Ahem*
I looked back to Spike to see that he was gesturing towards me with a book in claw. "Is that..?"
"Celestia's book? Yeah. You were looking for it so I grabbed it before putting the cakes up." I levitated the much sought after book from the baby dragon, all the while smiling sheepishly.
"Well, thank you, Spike. I didn't mean to bother you."
"It's not a problem, especially for your number one assistant. Is that all you needed?"
"Yeah it is. Thanks again for the help." I started to return to my new study when Spike stopped me.
"What do you need the book for? Wouldn't you want to keep the portal open?"
"Oh, well, I just wanted to study it a bit further. That's all." Spike crossed his arms and looked at me accusingly. "What?"
"You're taking it so you can snoop through it aren't you?" I could feel my face heat up a little bit at the accusation.
"What? No I'm not." I certainly wanted to now...
"Well it's not my business what you do with it." He had a tiny smirk on his face as he turned around to leave the library.
I could only give him a stern look and a rolling of my eyes as I heard him chuckling to himself for ruffling my feathers a bit. I guess that phrase can now apply to me instead of just being a figure of speech. Anyway, it's not like the book was a private diary or anything of the sort. It was more like the mailing of my letters to Celestia, except bound in a book, and with less chance of getting burned in the process.
But still, it's not what has already been written in the book that I'm concerned with. All I wanted to worry about is what could still be written in between the bindings of the magic-filled book. I am assuming that if Sunset Shimmer could write to the princess and myself indirectly, then the princess/ myself could similarly reply.
Without really paying attention to where it was I had been going, I still made it to my study. It looked very similar to the library, however the study room had fewer shelves and, therefore, less books on them. It also had a medium sized desk carved from the same crystal as the rest of the castle which I had covered in an assortment of quills, inkwells, and parchment rolls. Both clean and smothered in scribbles, all of which were illegible except to their creator.
Clearing some room off for the book, I opened it up and flipped through the still flexible, yet crisp pages. Coming across the message intended for Princess Celestia that I had intercepted by sheer coincidence, I remembered the memories that had occurred but a few weeks ago. The page adjacent to it, however, didn't look so familiar. It read:
Dear Princess Twilight,
Missing you already and hope you'll be back soon. Things are definitely looking up for me here at Canterlot High, but I know I still have a lot to learn about friendship.
Hope you don't mind if I write to you for advice when I need it!
Your Friend,
Sunset Shimmer
"When did Sunset send this one? The book should have been vibrating and making a... non-book-making buzzing noise. Why wasn't it doing that? It didn't stop when I received the first one until I opened it to the page the message was on."
Realizing that the portal had been feeding off of the magical wormhole that the book had maintained, it was safe to assume that it was acting as interference because any magic the book would have exerted would have simply been added to the magic fuel concentrate for the mirror's portal.
Great, now Sunset probably thinks I'm ignoring her. Smooth move not taking the book down sooner. Well I suppose that is all the more reason for writing back.
I found a suitable quill and dipped it in the inkwell off to the side of the blank page. Here goes nothing:
Dear Sunset Shimmer...
Meanwhile back at Canterlot High in the parallel world...
Things had gradually drifted back into their natural places. Everybody was getting along with one another once more and the Dazzlings were of no danger anymore, at least for the time being. With their amulets of no use to them, they could no longer lull those before them into a haze of anger and displacement to receive the necessary power. People even began to warm up to Sunset Shimmer, albeit slowly and, of course, not everyone was on board with the idea of becoming friends with the 'she demon' quite yet.
Among those already won over were ones with an indifferent attitude towards others or just the generally laid back students. Vinyl Scratch, now working much closer with The Rainbooms, tended to wave or at the very least smile towards her. One would think helping her once archrivals defeat three hypnotizing, dragon-mermaid, temptresses, would more often than not win over a few people to forgive her of past 'crimes.' Sometimes though, you must simply go with what you can get.
There will be plenty of time for others to forgive her or hold their grudges, but school was still in session and it wouldn't be much help to continue worrying about what others think of you. So Sunset Shimmer would carry on with just that, not worrying and focusing on making sure she stayed true to what she really thought of herself now than before. The bell for the current period had rung and dismissed the students for their lunch period. Sunset had quickly made her way to her locker to drop off one of her class books so she could catch the others before they made it to the cafeteria.
This is where we see her now...
Sunset
*Pant* *Pant* "Why is history so far away from my locker?" I know that I may not be as athletic as Rainbow or anything but I mean...
"What's that sound?" I pulled my phone out of the pocket in my jacket and checked it. "No messages..."
Stepping closer to the wall of locker doors, I could tell that whatever was making that buzzing noise was coming from mine. I turned the knob back and forth without really having to look at the tiny digits imprinted in the ring around the lock, due to the number of times I've had to input the code. Opening the metal door I looked down to see my beat up, cardboard box shaking every second or so.
Realizing what it may be, I quickly put my history book away and knelt down, yanking the unsecured lid off of the box to reveal that my suspicions were correct.
"I got a message from Twilight!" I quickly stood up and spun around to see if anybody had heard me quietly yelling to myself. I started to open the book and find the right page. Fortunately for me, there was no one around. They are all probably at-
"Lunch!" I slammed my locker door and the book cover as I darted off in the direction of the cafeteria to meet up with everyone waiting for me. I did tell them to go in without me just in case. After all, it would be selfish to expect them to starve because I was a little late.
Luckily I was able to make it to the cafeteria before the bell had rung. Composing myself before I opened the door, I came to the realization that I did need to work on my breathing while running.
I made my way through the double doors and disregarded what the meal was for today. I quickly spotted Rainbow Dash and the others at our usual table. She was going on about something and waving her arms about over her head. If I had to guess, then I would say it was due to the win the Wondercolts stole at the game the previous day.
Getting within earshot of the girls, I could tell my guess would have been correct.
"... I mean, yeah they got in a few good kicks but did you see the one I made before the game winner? I'm pretty sure it knocked that kid out before it reached the goal."
Rarity, looking desperate to change the topic, spotted me as I finally weaved through the tables and called out to me. "Sunset Shimmer, where have you been? I thought you were going to your locker to put that book away."
The others had questioning looks on there faces as well.
"What?" I looked down and noticed the back of the book looked almost identical to my text book. "Oh right, I did put that one away but I also found this glowing in the bottom of my locker."
As I sat down next to Applejack, she was the first to notice what was so special about the book held in my arms.
"Ain't that the book ya used to contact Princess Twilight?
"Yeah it is, and she wrote back to me." Before I got a chance to continue, Pinkie Pie burst out.
"Well what did she say? Is she coming back? Is she in trouble?!"
"I don't know, I came here before opening it. I wanted to see if you all wanted to hear it too." Everyone nodded in agreement, all wanting to know why Twilight had suddenly wrote back to me. "Okay, just let me find the right page... Alright I found it:
Dear Sunset Shimmer,
I am so, very sorry! I didn't notice that you wrote to me after I returned to my world. I had been using the book to power the mirror and I forgot to take it back down.
Anyway, I wanted to check in on all of you to see how things were going at Canterlot High. I was also wondering if it would be alright for me to stop by for a quick visit. I mean, if you are busy then it's not a problem. But if you have some free time then we could go do something or just talk it doesn't really matter. If you are wanting help with some of your studies, even though I doubt you'd need any however, I would love to assist you. Please write back as soon as possible!
Your Friend,
Twilight Sparkle
Rarity had made her way over to my other side while my reading had grown a little quieter towards the end. I had felt my face grow a little warm. She could have at least tried to word it a little differently couldn't she?
"Well, well." Rarity had a coy smile on her face. "It looks as if someone has a date with a certain princess from another world. You must feel pretty important Sunset." I could only feel my face burn a little more as I gave her a questioning glance at such an accusation. "Oh, I'm only joking, darling. I know it isn't like that between you and Twilight. She did word it a little funny though, I must admit. Twilight sounds awfully eager to see you again."
"Well of course she worded it funny, Rarity." Pinkie had spoken up once more, rolling her eyes and leaning over the table as she shoved a finger into the pages. "Can't you tell she is bored out of her MIND? I mean, look at her handwriting! That is the handwriting of a bored pony."
"Pinkie, ponies don't have hands." Pinkie had stopped for a second and lifted her hand up to her jaw. She then jutted her hand back into the book, leaning in closer than before.
"Then look at her hoofwriting! That is the hoofwrit-"
"Twilight probably uses her magic to write, not her hooves. She is an alicorn after a-"
"Then look at her magicwriting! That is the magicwriting of a bored, handless, magic-wielding, princess pony if I ever saw one."
I decided to let her have that one and not correct her on never seeing the writings of an alicorn before.
"So..." Everyone, including myself, all looked over to the shy girl at the end of the table by Rainbow Dash, hiding partly behind her pink hair. "Um... What are we going to do then... for Twilight's return, I mean."
Pinkie quickly shot her hand in the air as if she were in class and needed to use the restroom immediately, but Rarity spoke up first.
"Well we should let Sunset Shimmer decide since Twilight obviously wants to spend time with her." I simply turned to look at Rarity with a serious face, showing as little embarrassment as possible. She couldn't help but start giggling a little trying to remain serious herself. "Terribly sorry again, darling. Just joking." I couldn't help but crack a tiny smile as well this time. I knew she was just making light fun of a situation between friends.
I had started to pick up on how close friends socially interacted with each other, like whenever they would tease one another, they never truly meant any harm by it. It was a lot more common now ever since I had started genuinely feeling accepted here.
"Sunset Shimmer, I know what to do! PICK ME!" I looked to the others to see if they had any ideas. We could all clearly see Pinkie waving her arm a little more frantically, but like I said, there was a lot more light-hearted jokes around us close friends. It just always felt good to bask in the feeling of friendship.
"Does nobody have a good plan for Twilight's return?" We all laughed a little until I noticed Pinkie was actually turning blue from holding her breath. "Okay Pinkie, what's your plan?"
"OhthankyouIdidn'tthinkIwasgoingtomakeitbutmyideaisto-" She paused and inhaled deeply. "-Have another sleep over at my place! If it's okay that it's my place again, anyway." She sat there with a wide grin on her face looking at all of us expectantly.
Everyone seemed to agree with Pinkie's idea, seeing as how she had a knack for making people have fun and feel welcome wherever they may be. The only one feeling differently about this plan was me, but in all honesty, I wasn't sure why.
The plan overall I had no quarrel with, I just couldn't help but get a feeling that something was... missing, maybe? I don't really know what it felt like. It definitely wasn't the first time I had sensed this odd emotion in the back of my mind.
"Well?" I looked up to see Pinkie staring joyfully at me, pushing the book in my direction.
I smiled lightly at her. "Rainbow Dash, mind if I borrow your pen?"
She leaned forward with a pen in her outstretched hand. "Get to writin', Sunset."
"Thanks." I clicked the pen and pulled the book closer to myself.
Dear Princess Twilight,
We get out of school in a couple of hours and we'll be waiting by the portal's exit for you. I can't wait to see you again!
PS - Hope you don't mind borrowing Pinkie's pajamas again.
Your Friend,
Sunset Shimmer
I closed the book and handed Rainbow her pen back. I turned to see Rarity poorly attempting to hold back a smile while she covered her mouth with a raised hand.
"What?"
"Oh nothing. You did write that in pen didn't you?"
"Why?"
"I can't wait to see you again?" She started giggling a little as realization hit with my choice of words.
I let out a pained sigh as I let my blushing face fall onto my arms in an attempt to curl up and hide. I didn't mean anything by it. I looked back up and smiled warmly anyway. It would be weird if I meant anything like that between us friends. As we all shared a few laughs and stories afterwards, I couldn't help but notice that feeling again.
What is it, and why am I feeling it? Whatever, I'll just have to ignore it again for now. I needed to be in a good mood for the arrival of royalty. What kind of friend would I be otherwise? One more ping in my mind again.
Twilight
I was quite surprised after reading the newest message from Sunset Shimmer. A little time had passed waiting for the reply, but then again I had no way of knowing when she would receive the message, let alone have time to read it. Plus, I highly doubt she carries her end around awaiting your reply. However, I didn't think they would be free so soon. I expected at the very least a few days to free up a little time. Oh well, it's not like I was going to complain for them being ready on such short notice.
I turned to shout to Spike but then realized that, even though he was upstairs, the upstairs is now actually rather far away. "Still need to get used to the new living conditions I suppose."
I slid half a page of left-over parchment and pulled the quill out of its well. I decided to just write Spike a note for my absence. I needed somepony to stay in the castle and watch over things. It did sound a little selfish for me to simply wander off into another world when I was a princess. What if something were to happen that required my assistance or a royal duty where not only my presence were to be required, but the other princesses as well?
I then remembered that the book could be removed from the portal and used to contact me and placed back should I need to return in a hurry. I'm glad I thought of this before I left. As a princess, I should always think one step ahead, no matter how small the issue may be.
Speaking of which, I should write back to Sunset and the others to be sure of what to expect afterwards.
I hastily wrote a short note explaining where I was going and how to contact me should the situation call for my presence. I knew Spike would probably dislike being left out for a chance to travel back to Canterlot High with me, however, some girl time sounded better for this trip.
Returning to the library with the note in tow, I sat back down in front of the book and began to write in reply to Sunset's last message.
Sunset
Some time had passed since lunch when I wrote to Twilight and I had started to wonder if she had sent her reply yet. It was nearing the end of the day already as I sat in my last period class with about six more minutes until the bell was to dismiss us for the weekend. I had left my book in my locker so I wouldn't have to explain why I had a glowing, vibrating book in my possession to my teacher.
The bell finally rang and I set off for my locker a bit quicker than usual. I didn't have any of the girls in my last class so I would have to meet up with them outside in a few minutes. I reached the green door with my number on it and began to put in the combination.
Pulling the door open, my gaze went directly towards the box holding the book. However, it simply lay quietly at the bottom, still and undisturbed. I could feel my mood dampen slightly after getting my hopes up but brushed it off and slid the book into my backpack. When I reached for the small zipper tab to zip it up, I heard a friendly voice from behind. I whirled around to see Derpy waving to me as she wished me a nice weekend.
"You too!" It was still a bit out of the ordinary, however, some of the students were finding it more common to interact with me socially, besides the usual death glare I would receive. Don't get me wrong, it still happens but only from those you would expect it from. Usually it was because they never liked me in the first place, but I've learned that you can't let people like that get to you.
Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I pulled the other strap onto my left arm and headed for the school's exit. I couldn't wait to see Twilight again. It would be really nice to relax with her this time minus any threat to the school, world, or Equestria. Of course, one of those occasions was impossible since we hadn't become friends yet. That was due to the fact that I had tried to... brainwash everyone and, well...
I had just better stop before I bring up to many of those memories again. Anyway-
I snapped back to reality as I heard an all too familiar buzzing sound coming from right behind my head. Upon turning to see the book I noticed that my still unzipped backpack was losing its hold on the book as it started to fall. Before I could react, however, a small hand quickly took hold around the now silent covers. Taking the book from its savior, I looked up from the cover to see it was Applejack's sister, Applebloom.
She and her friends were among the few that remained in the school with me at this time. I quickly thanked her and held onto the very important object in my arms as we all started to walk together. A few weeks ago these three wouldn't even so much as look in my direction. Now they went out of their way to help me just then.
We started talking until it was time they departed by the school's statue where I greeted everyone waiting for Twilight's arrival. Rainbow Dash seemed the most impatient of the group as she met me half way. "Hey, Sunset, did she say when she would be getting here? I have to know if I'm telling the team to continue practice without me today or not."
"Wait, were you planning on skipping practice? I didn't think I would see the day when you turned down an opportunity to show your athleticism." I was only halfway joking.
"Well when you are as awesome as I am, you soon realize that you really don't need practice."
Never mind.
"Anyway, I think she did. Well, she sent me something, I haven't really read it yet." I looked down to the book still held tightly in my arms.
"Come on then! The others are going to want to hear this as well." She waved her hand as to beckon me towards the group of friends waiting by the portal as she hurried back over to them.
Flipping through the many, already filled pages, I settled the open journal on my hand. I made a mental note to get some bookmarks or tabs of some sort. I read the passage to myself as I made my way over to my awaiting friends.
"What did she say?" Applejack spoke up while the others were quietly waiting for me to answer the same question they all shared.
"She said that she was very excited to be able to see us all again so soon and that she would be arriving at about-" I pulled out my phone from my jacket pocket once more and gave it a quick look then placed it back in the same place. "-well, now, actually. She said to expect her at the time we leave CHS. However, I'm starting to think that the timing between our two worlds is a little bit off since her messages seem to be delayed and all. But I guess we just have to wait here to see if-"
"TWILIGHT!" Pinkie had interrupted me and gestured back behind us. We all looked back to see the lavender skinned girl in her usual light blue uniform, standing up from where I can only assume she had crash landed after the trip through the portal. It was rather disorienting after all. Not to mention the biological... adjustments.
"Hey everyone!" Twilight had just finished dusting herself off as everyone rushed to greet her once more. After everyone had let go in their group hug, Twilight's focus settled on me as she ran over and wrapped me in my very own embrace. Rarity had started smiling to herself while looking directly at me. I could feel my face warm up again as Twilight finally released me.
"What was that for?" Twilight and I each took a step back.
"The last time I visited here, I didn't exactly give you the warmest greeting." She had looked down at her feet before meeting my eyes again and smiling apologetically. I smiled back and leaned in, giving Twilight her own hug in return.
"Thanks." I could hear someone clearing their throat and I let go of Twilight respectively. Pinkie Pie had been the one to speak while joyfully skipping towards us.
"Are we going to go now or what? I totally want us to play one of our new songs for you, Twilight! It sounds super amazing, especially when it gets to the part where Sunset starts singing because she sounds super duper amazing!"
I couldn't help but feel a little awkward receiving praise for simply doing my share in the band.
"Pinkie, I don't sound that great. Besides, it is all of us singing together that really sounds the best." Twilight looked rather joyous after my reply. Most likely due to all of us getting along even better since Twilight's last departure.
Rainbow came over and threw an arm over my shoulder as well as Pinkie's. "Well are we going to show the princess how awesome we can play or what?" A collective cheer signified that we were all in agreement. "Applejack, is everything still set up in your barn from yesterday?"
"Sure is. Y'all didn't exactly feel like puttin' anything back yesterday when we were done. Specifically you, Rainbow."
"Well it doesn't really matter now, does it? Especially since we would've needed to move everything back for Twilight anyways." Rainbow Dash let go of me and Pinkie to continue bickering with Applejack as we started to follow them back to the barn. Twilight and I were left at the back of the group as Pinkie ran ahead to catch up with Rarity and Fluttershy as they had started discussing about something pertaining to another possible song to play.
"I'm glad to see you again, Twilight. How are things going back in Equestria with all of your responsibilities as a princess?"
"It was going pretty well until I got a little carried away. I haven't had anything to do, royally or otherwise, in the last three days. If it wasn't for all of my Ponyville friends visiting, I probably would have gone crazy before too long." She looked up at the afternoon sky with a gentle smile as she mentioned her friends.
"Yeah, I've definitely felt that feeling before. Back when I was Princess Celestia's student, I did nothing but work and study, trying to find out as much as I could from the books in her library. I would eventually lose my motivation every now and again. It could get a little lonely at times, but back then, it really didn't matter so much. Friends were one of the last things on my mind, even though the princess always tried to push me towards learning more about friendship." Twilight had focused her attention on me with a small grin on her face.
"I remember when I couldn't get enough of the many books in that library. Before being sent to Ponyville and finding out that friendship was critical to my studies, I was always under candle light at a desk piled high with literature. I still do that from time to time anyway, however, I still make room for my friends when I need to."
"You know, Twilight," I directed my eyes back to my feet while we continued to walk behind the others, who were joyfully chatting ahead of us. "I feel really foalish about how I acted in the past. Honestly, I doubt I will truly get over it. I could have had a far better life if I had only listened to the princess and met some ponies as wonderful as my friends here at CHS..."
"Sunset, it's really not your fault. If it wasn't for the threat of Nightmare Moon returning, I may not have learned how valuable friendship could be and possibly remained sheltered by books like you once were. Besides, you may not have ever met your friends here, and I can tell that they all truly care for you and all the work you have put forth in trying to better yourself. Pinkie certainly likes your singing from what I can tell." I looked back to the smiling girl next to me and smiled in return. She could really cheer someone up when cheering up was needed.
"Thanks Twilight. I just wonder sometimes, what might have been different if I did remain in Equestria as Princess Celestia's student." A thought appeared in my head that made me laugh a little to myself.
"What's so funny?" Twilight was now looking at me with curiosity written on her face.
"Just thinking how maybe I would have become an alicorn princess with my own wings if I had done everything like you. There is just no way I could handle all of the responsibility you do though."
"Well who knows, I think you could have made a great princess. Assuming that you didn't try to go it alone. Anyway, like I said, it is surprisingly easy to run out of tasks to accomplish when you work so efficiently with good friends to help."
"Maybe I would have made a decent ruler of friendship in Ponyville, I can't say for certain though." I thought about in for a few more seconds. "The longer legs wouldn't hurt though. I wasn't able to help but notice that Princess Celestia had some long, slender legs." I was only continuing to smile at the thought of me with nicer legs. "Oh, a bigger horn wouldn't look half bad either, would it, Twilight? Are those assets helping you out any with a special guy back in Equestria maybe?" Twilight was remaining silent for some reason. Maybe what I said had been a little out of her comfort zone. I'm more used to talking about those subjects with my friends here. "Sorry, I wasn't being serious I was just-"
I glanced back at Twilight to see her deep in though, ogling my legs. My rather, bare and exposed legs. I couldn't help but feel my face warm up a bit while being stared at. Meanwhile, I happened to notice a slight sway in my step as I kept walking.
There was that feeling again, just slightly different this time. What is it though..?
"Wait, what did you say, Sunset?" She said blinking a few times and looking back at my eyes. Her face had a slight tinge of rouge to it as I caught her quickly glancing down at my legs once more.
"Oh, um, nothing. Just, just thinking out loud..."
"Um, Applejack, darling?" Rarity had called out to the ongoing quarrel that was Applejack and Rainbow Dash. "Where exactly are we going?"
We were still walking down the sidewalk towards Applejack's farm, or at least I thought that was still the plan.
"What are ya talking about, Rarity? We all agreed to go back to the barn to show Twilight that new song, remember?"
"I know where we are supposed to be going but..." Rarity turned and pointed between Twilight and myself. "Isn't your place in the opposite direction?" We all turned to look in the direction that Rarity had pointed in only to realize that she was right. We had taken a right at the school when the farm was definitely to the left. Everyone, looking at the current surroundings, noticed that we had only gone deeper into town.
"Oh, consarn it. Rainbow Dash! You were so busy goin' on and distracting me that we went the wrong way!"
"Hey, it's not entirely my fault! Besides if you hadn't been blaming me in the first place then..."
As they started back up, they both made a U-turn and began heading in the correct direction of the farm. Twilight and I stepped out of the way as they walked directly between us, all the while trying to prove the other wrong. I'm not entirely sure what they are even arguing about at this point. It didn't really matter seeing as how they would be best friends having fun again in a few minutes.
They were soon followed by Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie who apparently didn't mind that we were so far off course. Rarity, rolling her eyes, caught up with me and leaned in close. "I don't know why those two love birds won't just kiss already."
"Probably because they don't want me to lose my five dollars." We both laughed quietly to ourselves as Rarity hurried forward to continue walking with Pinkie and Fluttershy.
Twilight closed the gap between us as she looked at me with a face of confusion. "Are Rainbow and Applejack... Actually, um..."
I couldn't help but laugh again. "No, they aren't. They sure argue like an old married couple though, don't they? Rarity simply decided to make a bet with me if they ever did get together."
That explanation seemed to take the confusion away and give her a good laugh as well. I'm assuming they aren't together in Equestria either. My attention was directed back at the two girls in the front of the group as Rainbow exclaimed something, throwing her hands up. I won't lie to myself, a small part of me does want to end up paying Rarity that five dollars.
Something in the back of my mind made me stop. It was that little feeling again. Only it seemed to hit a tiny bit harder this time. I rubbed the back of my neck as we continued to reach the end of the block that the school was on. What in the world was this feeling that was pestering me? It wasn't anything new to me. I have been feeling it for several weeks in the middle of class, during rehearsals, when I go to sleep at night, and I am only growing more concerned the more I sense it eating away at my subconscious. I just want to know what it is.
Looking around at the others and seeing their kind faces did make it go away slightly, but I don't know why. Maybe there was just something wrong with me that they couldn't fix this time. It is just so hard trying to fix something that you don't know the source of. It just sort of feels... Empty, I guess. I just don't know whether it's my emotions or if it's because of being in this form for so long. I did tend to notice a few changes upon coming here that were a bit surprising, but I just wish whatever it was I could figure out how to fix it. Maybe I just need t-
"Sunset Shimmer?"
I turned my head and looked at Twilight. "Are you alright?" She put a hand on my shoulder while looking at me with concern expressed in her eyes.
I uncrossed my arms that I had apparently been holding rather tightly around my torso and gave her a slight smile. "Yeah, Twilight, I am."
She let some of the hardness in her expression fall as she grinned back and let her hand swing back to her side. As my legs continued to follow along with the others in front of me, I went back to my thoughts. I actually meant what I said didn't I? Why though?
I glanced ahead of the others and noticed Applejack's place was just down the road from here. Oh well, I hope Twilight enjoys the song.
Shine Like Rainbows
So far Twilight just sat opposite of us tapping her foot along to the beat of the song with a smile on her face. We had gotten through most of the song and were coming to the last chorus as we kept playing for our one person audience. Everyone had been practicing this song for some time now so I knew we wouldn't mess up or anything like that, but I was just worried that she may not like it.
I think most of the worry was because I helped contribute some lyrics when Fluttershy was writing it. I don't see how Fluttershy, the most timid of us, was never worried when her songs were played for an audience. I only helped with a few lines per request and I could feel my heart about to give out at any moment. Luckily we had reached the end of the song as we all started to sing in unison and let the song drift into silence. Twilight leapt forward and gave us a standing ovation. At least, I think it still counts even if there is one person listening.
"Wow, girls, that sounded so amazing!" Pinkie stood up from her drums and leaned over them.
"Would you say that is sounded super amazing?" She asked this while looking at Twilight with as much hopefulness she could muster into one smile.
"Of course, Pinkie." Twilight giggled as Pinkie pumped her fist into the air and returned to her stool. "I can definitely tell that Fluttershy wrote this one, right?"
Fluttershy held on to her tambourine as some of her bangs fell in front of her face. "Well I can't take all the credit for the song." She pulled the long, pink strands from her face and looked towards me. "Sunset helped write about half of it."
"Really? I wouldn't have guessed you to write as well, Sunset." I could feel my face get a bit warmer.
"Well I did study as Princess Celestia's pupil, so I had to let some creativity out between studies."
"Either way, it really did sound fantastic." She looked to us with a kind smile as Pinkie stood once more.
"I thought you said it sounded 'super amazing.' Which is it, Twilight?"
Twilight laughed to herself at the silliness of the pink-haired drummer. "Both, Pinkie." The response seemed to please the previously upset girl, as she once again took her seat with a joyful demeanor.
Applejack put a free hand to her rumbling stomach as she looked to the rest of us. "I don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm ready to get something to eat."
Rainbow turned back after hanging her guitar on its stand. "Yeah same here, AJ."
Rarity had just secured her keytar as she righted herself and looked at the two with slight wonder. "Why, I think that is the first time those two have agreed on anything all day." She looked towards me and laughed. "I wouldn't mind getting something to eat either."
For the third time, Pinkie stood up and nearly fell over her drum set out of pure excitement. "We can all go to my house! I have a pizza on the way there." We all exchanged glances of confusion.
"Pinkie, how can you have a pizza on the way to your house?" I don't remember seeing her on her phone at all today. "When did you call?"
"Earlier."
"During school?"
"Yep! I started thinking to myself that you guys might start getting hungry after we played our song for Twilight so I called ahead and told them to deliver it right around 3:55. I think I called around the time we left to go to lunch."
"Pinkie, How did you know when to have it delivered if you didn't even know Twilight would be arriving?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well it's just that I only told you about Twilight during lunch. Not to mention we only planned on playing after she got her..."
"Yeah and I knew we would all be hungry after playing."
"..." It was probably best to just get over to Pinkie Pie's house before the pizza guy arrived. "Then let's go."
"Yes!" Pinkie dropped her sticks into her hair and grabbed Fluttershy by the wrist as she dragged her out of the barn. I just barely managed to catch her tambourine as it flew through the air towards the ground. I hung it on my guitar's neck after hanging it on its stand. Everyone was filing out of the barn in front of me as Applejack stood by to shut the doors when everyone was out.
Rainbow Dash ran ahead to slow Pinkie down while Rarity was retrieving something she left in the barn, only making Applejack more impatient. I decided to wait for them so we weren't all split up. Twilight also stopped with me while Rarity apologized for the wait to the farm girl. We continued walking and finally met up with the three missing from our group. The walk to Pinkie's wouldn't be that long of a journey, thankfully. Most of us, including myself, had been standing or walking for a majority of the day and desperately needed to relax. The sky had begun to turn a slight orange as the day had started to wind down slowly. A gentle breeze was following us as the clouds steadily rolled overhead. It was such a wonderful time of day, the afternoon. Still, my favorite time was yet to come.
Call it coincidental, cheesy, narcissistic, or whatever, but I couldn't help but love the hours in which the Sun would set. I remember when I was a filly back in Equestria and I would watch out my window as Celestia gracefully lowered her shining sun and to later raise the elegant moon. I truly miss how it had shown during its own setting. Though it was leaving for several hours beyond the horizon, it would shine with as much burning glory as it could before it went, only to leave a magenta glimmer and golden veil for us ponies to bask in until we fell into our calm slumber during the calm night that followed. I envied what the sun stood for, or at least, what I thought it stood for. Not necessarily power, but the power to rise above all else and shine.
~Flashback~
I remember when I first gained my cutie mark, too. It was when I had decided that I would become a powerful unicorn one day, if not the greatest, and show my strength and determination to everypony. I admit that I am ashamed for doing what I have in order for that goal to be true. I really do not know what I was thinking. However, I was just a filly when I had decided that.
I could do things, things that the other students could not. At an unusually early age, I could move large things without also using my hooves. Later, I could make animals do what I wanted without training them. On a few occasions I could make bad things happen to those who were mean to me.
Nothing horrible or anything, thank Celestia, just a few harmless things. Once, I made a vase filled with flowers spill on another class mate who called me a freak. It didn't make her stop of course, quite the opposite in fact. It was pretty funny though seeing as how she had just gotten her mane done. On the day when I actually got my mark, was when I had tried my hardest to get into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. I had, in fact, failed my entrance exam. To this day I have no idea what went wrong. All I know is, after the exam, I had stormed out of the castle. Only thing is, I never quite made it out of the castle.
I had trained so very hard for the exam. I went for a few days without sleep, I had strained myself to every extent to make sure I would go into the exam room and shock every judge in there with my magic. It had made me very irritable and because of my irritability and the weight of failure being dropped on me, I caused something of a scene. I had used my anger and began levitating desks around the room, throwing them in all directions. My rage had taken over and I decided that if I could not wow them with my talent, then I would make them fear it. It was a terrible decision. Royal guards had shown up on site, but I had sealed the room off. Only a minute or two of this went on before I met Princess Celestia herself.
She fluently unblocked the door and sealed it again behind her to keep her own guards out. She was, after all, dealing with a filly. I had let down most of the furniture but held on to a few just in case, not out of anger, but out of fear. She was the most powerful magic wielder in Equestria, after all. She undoubtedly saw the fear and frustration in my eyes. Celestia, the one who could have easily called in her guards and had me contained in an instant or who could have simply taken me head on with ease, simply sat down in front of me and lowered her head so she was at eye level with me and no more than a few steps away.
"What do you want?" I had instantly taken a hostile tone to the confusing atmosphere the princess brought with her.
"I want to help you."
"I don't believe you. You want to have me looked at don't you, because everyone says I'm different!" She pulled her head back up slightly, constantly keeping her focus on me.
"Different? Perhaps they're right." I stopped and became even more afraid that she was agreeing with me. Maybe she would have me taken away. I knew that I shouldn't have shown off so much power. She smiled lightly and kept her same, calm demeanor. "Perhaps you would like me to take you somewhere other than my gifted unicorn school. A better place."
Immediately, I thought the worst. She was using the fact that I was an ignorant child against me so I would lock myself up in a hospital voluntarily. Well I wasn't getting sent to a hospital, because I was no ignorant child. "I'm not crazy!"
"The place I wish to place you is not one for unwell ponies. It is a school. A school of magic." She took a look around the room, at the chaos that used to be a classroom. "You can do things can't you Sunset? Things that not many other unicorns your age could." I looked to the judges with a bright smile and a devious glare. Then I came across where the fourth judge used to be seated, only to find a small colt in his place while wearing his glasses. Many of the other objects in the room had been transformed as well. Every one of them a new, inferior form of its previous self. Celestia looked at these objects and then to the colt with shock in her eyes. "Things that even full grown unicorns could never do..." She changed him back to his appropriate age and looked to me again.
Just like I had recalled them before, I recited my feats to Celestia in a now more level tone after noticed the glimpse of amazement in her eyes a moment ago. "I can make things move without touching them." I proceeded to place all of the still whole desks back in place. "I can make animals do what I want without training them." I looked to the judges, all of them still bunched together on the floor. "Please, take your seats." I said this quietly and calmly, and they walked back to their chairs and sat in them respectively. Never taking my eyes off the last stallion with the crooked glasses, the one who had ultimately failed my entrance, I said, "I can make bad things happen to ponies who are mean to me." He slumped at his desk.
Celestia was worried by my actions and my words, though not showing it right away. "I think there is something inside you that wishes to get out, Sunset. This unruly power is not tolerated in my personal school, though. As a personal student of mine, you will not only be taught how to use magic, but how to control it. Do you understand me?"
I simply looked at her with understanding in my eyes as she stood and started to leave. "Is being this powerful so young normal for somepony like me?" I just wanted to be sure that she understood what I believed was happening. Celestia turned to look at me over her shoulder. The doors to the room had been opened by means of her magic and several guards held their positions beyond the doorway's frame.
"The most recent a situation like this happened, my sister and I had been taught by Starswirl the Bearded when we were younger. So, not very often is such a promising student found." She smiled at me and continued to walk out of the room.
I had just shown a room full of ponies who are deemed worthy of judging magic abilities and the Princess herself how powerful I was. I had been accepted to learn under the ruler of Equestria to further my already abundant magical skill. I had done it, I had completed my goal of showing ponies just how great my power was. I was beyond ecstatic. There was a small flash in the room behind me. I turned to see that my cutie mark had appeared on my flank. It was, to my surprise, a sun of gold and crimson.
"What a wonderful cutie mark you have there, Ms. Shimmer." I looked to Celestia with wonder in my eyes. She turned to leave once more after congratulating me on my celebratory moment. I had shone like the Sun and completed my long lasting goal. It seemed fitting that I had received it at a time like this, especially since the last time this happened, Celestia and her...
"Princess, you said that the last time a situation like this happened, you and your sister were being taught by Starswirl the Bearded?"
"Yes, that is true." As guards had come to her side to escort her elsewhere she addressed me for the last time before leaving the room. "What of it?"
"You and what sister, Princess?" She stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned. She did not turn completely towards me, but instead only halfway. "Is she the same mare as the one who visits me in my nightmares? She talks about you rather often."
She looked at me with sheer horror and sadness consuming her thoughts and eyes as she immediately resumed her departure, walking slightly faster than before, closing the large doors behind her. The room fell silent, all except the resonating sound of the wooden doors colliding, leaving the rest of us in the heavy atmosphere.
~Flashback End~
The Sun always seemed to shine a bit differently back in Equestria than it did here, but it was still beautiful. Perhaps one day I could go back for a short visit and see it again. I just don't know if I could face Princess Celestia again. How I acted as her pupil was no better than how I acted here, really...
"You sounded wonderful back at Applejack's farm." I was pulled from my thoughts and memories as I looked at Twilight who had been walking beside me for most of the way to Pinkie Pie's home.
"What?" She looked a bit flustered.
"I just said that you sounded really great when you sang with the others."
"Oh, really?"
"I probably would have noticed earlier if we weren't trying to defeat the three sirens."
"Well, thanks, Twilight. That means a lot coming from you." It really did for some reason. Probably because I had just put myself in a poor mood thinking about the past.
"What else are friends for?" I just barely felt it that time, but I felt it none the less. Back behind every other thought and feeling in my mind. She gave me a delighted smile as we both looked back to where we were going. Pinkie's wasn't too far from here. In fact, I think I can see it just a couple of blocks from where we are at. A pizza delivery guy just pulled up to the house and started to get the food out. Both Pinkie and Rainbow Dash took off in order to reach him before he thought the delivery was a prank while the rest of us laughed to ourselves and went on at the same pace as before.
I'm actually glad Pinkie ordered ahead, I was starving.
"Thanks again, Pinkie. That really hit the spot." The last of the pizza had just been finished off as we all settled down in Pinkie's bedroom for the remainder of the day. I currently resided at the end of the bed facing the door with Twilight facing Fluttershy and Rarity on the opposite side. The back and forth duo were in the kitchen cleaning up. Pinkie had just finished changing into her nightwear and finally joined us. We each had our own change of pajamas to put on ready in Pinkie's closet. She insisted that we all leave a pair here in case of 'sleeping emergencies' which, in this case, paid off. I really didn't feel like walking home for sleepwear anyway.
In all honesty, I had no problem sleeping in what I was wearing minus the jacket and boots seeing as how I could change the next day. However, I suppose that Pinkie truly insisted because Twilight would just have to borrow one of her extra outfits should she visit like she is. The pink haired girl pulled her drum sticks from her hair and tossed them on her bedside table before throwing herself onto the bed.
"Well I knew you girls would be hungry so why not order ahead? Besides what are friends for?" I was nearly thrown off the bed when the drummer landed on the mattress.
"Yeah." What are they for if not to care about each other...
It happened again. I was starting to reach my limit of patience for this sensation in the back of my thoughts. Not just that, but whatever it was had really started to bring me down. I could feel nothing but confusion, turning and tumbling around inside me as I was pushed closer to my breaking point. I was a star pupil under the Princess of Equestria, top of my class before that, and I couldn't figure out some tiny, insignificant issue happening inside my head?!
"Sorry it took so long with the boxes and what not, y'all. This one ended up trippin' with'em out the door." Applejack and Rainbow made their way into the room and closed the door behind them, already adorning their sleepwear.
I don't think I can handle it anymore. I mean, I don't even know what is really bothering me! All I do know is that I need to get away from this crippling thought.
"Whatever, I was just in a hurry and forgot that the sunset would be waiting to blind me when I opened the door, alright?"
My head lifted from my hands that were slowly tightening around it as Rainbow Dash spoke. That's all I need, just some fresh air at sundown. Even though the situation would leave me by myself accompanied only by my own thoughts, they would undoubtedly be preoccupied by the scenery. I stood up from the end of the bed with a slight creak of springs settling back into their original positions behind me.
I made my way over to the door and twisted the knob. Pulling the door back far enough for me to exit through, a slightly concerned Twilight spoke out before I actually left the room. I stopped and looked back at her, not catching what she had said. "Sorry, Twilight, what is it?" The room's light chatter died down as everyone else looked to me with a questioning look on their face.
"I just asked where you were going, that's all." She had been facing the other way on the bed, talking amongst Rarity and Fluttershy who were on the floor looking in my direction over the mattress' edge.
"Oh, I'm just, going to get some air, outside." Everyone else's expressions eased as they went back to whatever they had been doing beforehand, all except for Twilight, who had turned completely around upon standing and made her way around the foot of the bed, keeping her attention on me.
"Sunset, are you alright? You've been acting a little different lately."
"No, I'm alright, I'm just going to go stand outside for a minute. I'll be back in a moment." Before she could say anything else, I turned back and closed the door behind me. As I made my way to the front door, I could actually start to feel my head ache slightly. I knew the air would probably be a little chilly at this time, but rather than grabbing my jacket in the living room closet, I instead braced myself for the evening breeze in my thin shirt and pants. I simply needed time to clear my thoughts, I just didn't know what it was I was clearing...
Twilight
Before I was able to say anything else, Sunset had closed the door to Pinkie's bedroom with a rather loud bang. She wasn't mad from what I could tell, otherwise she may have actually slammed the door. It just seemed like she was upset or in a hurry, or both. I stood there for a second or two with my arm stretched outward to the now still doorway before letting it fall back to my side. I didn't really know what it was that I was supposed to do. Maybe I should go out there with her and just talk. It seemed better than just standing here with her outside by herself.
I took a couple steps in the door's direction until Rarity spoke up.
"I think she just wants to be alone right now, darling. Actually, I know for a fact she wants to be left alone right now." I turned around and looked at her with concern undoubtedly written on my face.
"Has she done this before?"
"Yes but only in the past few weeks. You see, every now and again she just gets rather... What's the word for it..? Reclusive."
"Why though?" I climbed back onto the bed and waited for a response.
"I'm not sure, darling."
"Well does anyone here know why she does this?" I looked around the room and everyone was either shrugging, avoiding my gaze, or in Pinkie Pie's case, focusing intently at the air in front of her face waiting for it to apparently answer her. "Have any of you tried to talk to her about it."
"Now that, we have. As far as I know, every one of us has approached her on one or more occasions, hoping she would open up to someone. Fluttershy here has come closer than any of us, but not by far." I looked to Fluttershy in hopes that maybe she could give any additional information that would help.
"Well, all I know is that she won't open up about it because she... Well... Apparently, can't." Fluttershy then buried the lower half of her face back into the stuffed animal she was holding in her lap and continued to devote her concentration on it.
"What do you mean she can't open up about it? Can't or won't?"
Rarity simply shrugged her shoulders. "Both?"
Applejack swung her arm up over the end of the bed from where she was sitting to get a better speaking position for the rest of the group. "Honestly, sugar cube, your guess is as good as any of ours. Like Rares said, none of us have gotten anything out of her. All we could do in reply was say that we'd be there for her if she needed us." It was nice knowing that they were still ready to support her. It brought some comfort to the situation anyway.
Rainbow eased back into her relaxed position by Applejack, not seeming to be bothered by the situation. "Look, she is a lot tougher than she appears. When she's ready to tell us then she will, until then, I say we just let her have her space for now. Maybe she's just on her-
"Rainbow Dash, darling! Like we just mentioned, this has been going on for weeks. In other words, she's not." Rarity's face had grown to be a bright red against her pale skin. I'm not entirely sure why but obviously whatever Rainbow was preparing to talk about was not entirely appropriate, so I kept my questions to myself. It only furthered my suspicions due to the fact Rainbow was trying to contain her growing laughter.
"So, are you sure I should just leave her be? Until she is ready to talk, that is." I looked around to see those whose opinion I needed to heed, shaking their heads in approval. It's not the route of action I normally would have taken, but I felt that this is what I should do. The others seem to know what they are doing anyways. I should just relax with the others until she gets back.
I just hope she's not going through too much right now...
Meanwhile Outside the Pie Household...
Sunset
"It's not working this time..." Though the sky was rather beautiful this evening, I couldn't stop thinking about how much worse I was feeling. I just can't figure it out and it's eating me alive inside.
No doubt I'm worrying them, they are my friends and they care about me like I care about them...
I know they don't act like they are worried but that is because I tell them not to be. They have tried several times to help me, but how can they help me when I can't help myself!
I was now leaning against the side of Pinkie's house with my head firmly held between both of my hands. I felt terrible, not just because I could sense that unknown feeling inside, but because I was also causing my friends to worry.
"Some friend I am..." As my legs relaxed, I slid down into my knees and hugged them tightly, putting my head down as well.
They have tried to help me out ever since Twilight first came here and helped me realize the error of my ways. They stuck by me and forgave me before anyone else in school thought about it. Yet, all I do is turn them away when I need help more than ever because I can't understand why everyday interactions hold me back from enjoying my time with them.
I could feel the tears I had been holding back, slowly being let loose, one after the other down the sides of my face. I didn't even bother attempting to wipe them away on my sleeve. It would be pointless, knowing they would simply be replaced by new ones in a matter of seconds.
The sunset was almost completely past the horizon, and it had no effect on me. In the past few weeks, this twilight hour failed to make me feel any better, despite it being the most beautiful moment before the night would be welcomed into the sky.
I had better head back inside. I need to get myself more presentable before I join the others again. I won't enjoy explaining my absence to my friends, but I apparently brought this on myself. Twilight hasn't seen me like this before, but hopefully the others filled her in what little they could. She was the one I truly didn't want to explain myself to.
She looked so concerned, so scared for me right before I closed that door on her...
I stood back up and wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and cheeks, turning away from the sunset before I could look at it again. At least we would all be ready to sleep soon enough. Maybe I could sleep a little easier than I have been, being surrounded and all by my...
"Friends..." I caught a final glare of the dying light behind me in the glass door as I opened it. One more tweak in the back of my mind and one more tear to well up in my eye before I stepped through the threshold and locked the sliding glass behind me.
It's no use, it must be 2:00 by now...
I had been tossing and turning in an all-too-warm sleeping bag. I had been trying to fall asleep for what seems like forever and to no avail. Every time I noticed one of the girls getting up or just appearing to be awake, I would simply make it look as if I had indeed gotten hold of my ever sought after sleep. There was no need to bother them while they were trying to sleep themselves.
Celestia knows how much they had been bothered hours ago when they were awake and lively. I had walked into the room more of a mess than I had realized. In the hopes of making me feel a little better, Rarity had spent a great deal of time brushing my hair. Not that it looked terrible besides being a little tangled, but she simply did it as a means of calming me down some. It actually did help a little. I noticed my headache had died down quite a bit and it just overall felt soothing.
Twilight seemed a bit more distant than earlier today. I must have really upset her after walking out of the room while she was just trying to understand the situation. I didn't really see her look towards me, but I definitely felt I was being watched by her when I wasn't looking. Just like the others, she wants to help.
I just don't know how she can, and frankly, I think it would actually feel worse to have another friend trying to aid me in this horrid confusion.
Honestly, that may be the worst part about it. The confusion I feel is like torture. I pride myself on my extensive knowledge and seeking out further information when I can is what I've done for the majority of my life. So when I try to tackle this dilemma, I feel crushing defeat along with this barren feeling in my mind.
It has nearly driven me to the breaking point now more than ever with these damn headaches. I just want it to stop! I wish things could just be somewhat normal again. I put a tired hand up to the side of my sleep deprived head not pressed into my pillow, and started to rub it through my hair. It was starting to get unbearably hot under the covers of my sleeping bag, and I certainly didn't need to add 'heatstroke' to my list of problems.
I just need something cold to drink, I'd even settle for some more whipped cream if it cooled me off any. I kicked back my covers and quietly stood up. Nobody was awake at least and I was rather close to the door tonight so I really only had to step over Rarity to get out.
Walking gently across the floor in the hallway, I made extra sure not to disturb Maud in her room either. I really just wanted to be alone for a little while before tomorrow. Hopefully I could clear my head a little bit more, or better yet, just be done with whatever is causing me so much distress.
Reaching the kitchen, I figured a glass of water would probably be best. Anything would do really.
I grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets above my head and turned the faucet on low as not to make any more noise than necessary. I doubted that the others would be bothered by the sound of running water two rooms over, but I would prefer not taking any chances. Once my glass was full I shut the water off and headed into the living room and eased myself onto the couch. It was nearly sucking me into it with all the stuffing the cushions had been filled with, but it felt kind of nice. Like a soft embrace in the dead of night. On second thought, I wasn't really in the mood for an embrace at the moment...
Or was I? I can't even decide if I want to sit on a couch or not, how am I supposed to help myself whatsoever if I can't figure out what is comfortable anymore? I wish I could just stop thinking and relax for once...
I took a small drink of water and held the glass up to my forehead, letting the cold transfer over to my skin. "Man, I'm just so tired..." whispering to myself seemed better than just thinking more.
"Hey..."
I jumped slightly as an unexpected voice came from behind me. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder to see who it was. The light hanging over the island in the kitchen revealed Twilight rubbing the left side of her face in an attempt to wake herself up a little more quickly. "Oh, hey Twilight." I turned back to the glass I was still holding and took another drink before sitting it down on the nearby side table.
"You're up late." She stopped to yawn before continuing. "Are you doing alright?" She started walking over to where I was sitting in the living room and sat down just a few cushions over.
"Yeah, I... Just needed a glass of water." I wasn't lying when I said I needed the water, I was burning up surrounded by all of that warmth in the bedroom. Bothering Twilight just wasn't something I really felt like doing at the moment.
"I know you aren't alright, is there anything you want to talk about?"
"No, there... There isn't anything I want to talk about right now Twilight." I could feel that feeling again, growing inside me.
"Fine. Is there anything you need to talk about?"
I looked up from my hands currently fiddling in my lap and focused on Twilight. "..." I didn't know what to say. It was like this every time one of the other girls tried to talk to me about whatever is going on. I simply can't figure out how to reply. Every. Single. Time. I know I need help, and I want it, desperately but...
"Sunset Shimmer, I just want to help you. However, I can't do that if I don't know what's wrong. You understand that right?" She repositioned herself a little closer, and so her entire body was facing me.
"Yeah, I know, but... I can't. I really wish..." I could feel the pressure welling up inside. My eyes were already beginning to water up again. I went back to looking at my hands as they began to tremble
"You know you can talk to me about anything, Sunset. We're friends."
"Twilight, I know that we are friends! I just can't describe what it is!" I was trying to stay as quiet as possible in this situation, knowing that if the others would also wake up, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I was just so frustrated. "If I knew how to tell you and the others, then I would!" I could feel the tears starting to trickle down my face, they would be pouring before long. "I want to tell you all so bad, but you don't know what I'm feeling!" I looked back at her while I was saying this, with as much sincerity as I could muster before letting my head fall into my hands. "And neither do I..."
"..."
"T-Twilight, I'm sorry, I-I just... Sorry I sounded so angry with y-you, I'm not m-mad at you... I just feel..."
"Don't worry Sunset... I know you're not." I felt her getting off the couch but I kept my head cradled in my hands. I really didn't want to look up, rather, I just wanted to let this night stop and rewind. Then I felt an arm wrap around me on both sides and Twilight sit back down. "But I'm not going to leave you by yourself to wallow. I'll keep trying to help you until I succeed. Alright?"
I could hear her voice getting shakier near the end and I looked up and turned my head to where she was sitting. Her eyes were closed and letting tears slip out despite her trying to keep them in. I turned, breaking her embrace, only to hold her in my own. She sat motionless for a second before holding onto me again. "T-thank you Twilight. I am just so s-sick and tired of feeling alone..." My voice was muffled with my face buried into her shoulder, but she still heard me and hugged tighter.
"Wait, what did you say, Sunset?" I pulled back and let her go. I tried to look at her as well but my vision was still blurred by my cascade of tears which were still present. Pulling my hand into my sleeve, I began to rub them away the best I could despite them still coming.
"What?"
"Did you say you were tired of feeling alone? Is that what's been bothering you?"
"Is t-that what I said?"
"Yes, Sunset why should you feel alone? You are definitely not alone, here. You are doing wonderfully with making better relationships with other students and the girls absolutely love you. You aren't alone!" Twilight leaned forward and pulled me into another hug, this one was far tighter than the last time. I just remained silent in her grasp as I continued thinking about what she said. I already knew that I was surrounded by friends and everything but I still felt... Isolation, deep inside my mind. I was still horribly confused.
However, after a moment in Twilight's arms, I finally figured out the words for how to describe the terrible, empty feeling that was draining me all these last few weeks.
"Twilight?" Again my voice was being hushed by her embrace, but I spoke without really focusing on anything else.
"Yes?"
"...Do you ever feel alone, even when you are surrounded by other people? It's not like regular loneliness, it just feels like..." I started to cry again. "It just f-feels like you're freezing, a-and afraid, and all you know is t-that f-friends aren't enough to fix this sadness, n-no matter h-how hard they try..."
I couldn't continue. All I could do now was hold on to Twilight's shirt as I kept crying. I finally identified how I felt, but now that I knew, I felt even worse. It was crippling, the pain that I felt from my own words.
"Sunset... Look at me, please." I tried to calm myself down a little before finally pulling my head back with a sniffle. She was still holding onto my arms while I tried to wipe away some of the tears away from my face as I managed to look up at her eyes. "Is that w-what you have been feeling this entire t-time?"
I simply managed to nod my head slightly in reply. If I tried to speak right now, nothing would come out.
"C-can I... Can I try s-something that m-might help... Both of us?"
"S-sure but what do you mea-"
I was silenced by Twilight. Not by her hand or by her voice. She had leaned in closer to me and held onto the back of my head. Her fingers had intertwined with my hair as I could feel her pull me in closer. Our lips met in the dark, only illuminated by the flickering florescent lighting in the next room. My thoughts cleared as I felt my insides melt. It felt like I was being filled up by warmth as pleasure took over my senses. The way Twilight's hand griped my arm was gentle and yet, at the same time, I don't think I could break away from it even if I wanted to. She no longer needed to pull my head forward with me now relaxing and even pushing into the kiss, making it as deep as I could.
I wrapped my right arm around her back and pulled her closer to me without breaking the contact between out mouths that were completely fused together, while my other arm brushed passed some stray hair by her face in order to hold the side of her head as it pressed forward with as much force as possible during a kiss. Our tongues started their dance at some point without me noticing, and I struggled for dominance for as long as I could before finally giving up and letting myself get swept away.
No problem, whether it be from this world or Equestria nor however grand it may be, could take away the joy and total bliss I felt in this moment. It was as if a super nova had gone off inside of me and all I could do was press in harder and hold the girl before me as close as I could before we would part.
Unfortunately that moment arrived all too soon as she pulled back, panting heavily. All I was capable of doing was inhaling as deep as I could and letting out a long shaky breath. A single string of saliva barely holding on was all that was connecting us besides our tightening grips on one another. My tears were nothing but stains on my cheeks and my worries long gone. I didn't want to break the silence between us and neither did Twilight as far as I could tell. So we simply sat there looking at each other, up and down, on loop.
I managed to find her hand while glancing down in the night with mine and I held on tight. She found my other hand and did the same. Nothing was said, but we both started to smile and laugh quietly as each of us sat there on the couch, never looking away. As idiotic as it may sound, I felt as if I were burning brighter than the Sun. Inside a fire was burning even brighter, and it helped me realize why I was feeling this miserable loneliness.
"Twilight..."
"What?"
"I missed you so damn much." Even in the darkness, I could see her smile grow a little bit wider.
"I missed you, too." I pulled her close to me again and placed my still quivering lips on hers without any resistance from the... I broke the kiss short with a small whimper from the other party. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing it's just... I just realized that I made out with one of the princesses of Equestria." She started laughing and pulled me into another kiss, shutting me up immediately.
We broke the kiss once more for more oxygen, but kept our foreheads pressed against one another. "So... Is it safe to assume... That I helped?" Now it was my turn to laugh.
"Trust me... You were the only one... Who could fix me, Twilight."
"Good... Because I really... Need to get some sleep now." I couldn't help but smile at how cute she really was, and at the truth in her words. She was practically falling asleep just leaning up against me.
"What? Was that not exciting enough for you? I know I don't want to sleep more than ever now." While I had certainly been livened up a few minutes ago, I no longer had any thoughts to fuel my insomnia. I was about to collapse as well.
"Trust me, I don't think my heart has ever beat faster, but-" I cut her off with a kiss until she broke it with more laughter. "Sunset, stop, I need more slee-" I interrupted her once more, planting my lips on hers. It only caused her to laugh more when she tried to talk seriously. "Hey, I'm being serio-" She was watching me but did nothing to stop me from meeting her lips again. "You are so foalish when you want to be."
"It's hard to take you seriously when you are blushing so har-" She pushed me back onto the couch with an interrupting kiss of her own. "Didn't you just call me foalish when I did that?"
"Shut up, you deserved it." She lied down next to me after the kiss had been broken yet again with her arms still wrapped around me, and mine working their way around her. As we lay there holding each other, complete silence took over. I could feel myself drifting off into sleep with an incredibly beautiful mare next to me. Then I thought of something I needed to tell Twilight.
"You aren't allowed to leave for so long next time. Okay, Twilight?" I could tell she was nearly asleep as well by the sound of her voice.
"I don't think I could bear it, Sunset. Anytime you want me to visit, just write to me. That book isn't going to leave my side... For a very... Long time..."
"Alright, I will... 'Night, Twilight..."
"Goodnight... Sunset..."
I woke up looking at the ceiling. I couldn't tell what time it was but it was still dark outside. I looked around and noticed I wasn't in Pinkie's bedroom anymore, but instead in her living room with Twilight by my side, holding on surprisingly tight for someone that was asleep. I'm so glad that last night wasn't some cruel dream. But I wish I had a blanket or something for this freezing couch. The only warmth I had was coming from the lavender girl next to me.
Not wanting to disturb Twilight, I didn't move. I could hear someone moving around the couch. I moved my head to see who it was once they came around the foot end of the piece of furniture. It was Pinkie's sister, Maud.
I looked between her and Twilight with a sheepish smile on my face. All she did was unfold a heavy blanket she had apparently been carrying before draping it over the two of us. "Oh, thanks Maud..." I whispered to her with my tired voice.
"It's no problem." She, however, spoke in the same tone (and volume) as she always did. "I'm glad to see you are feeling better." She looked at Twilight in my arms and back to me with a small smile on her face.
"Thanks. I really am." I simply smiled back while blushing a little. Maud continued back to her room, signaled by a gentle click of a door closing. I looked back to Twilight and tried to hold her closer.
I was pleased to hear a delighted sigh escape the sleeping girl's lungs. I'm so glad I tried to steal your crown that night. I laughed a little to myself at the irony in that thought before drifting back to sleep next to the only person in my life to truly make me happier than I've ever been. It may have been a poor choice in morals back then, but I may have never met you.
Later That Morning...
Applejack
Rainbow Dash and I were the first ones to wake up so we made our way out to the kitchen to fix something to eat. I then noticed something that I almost couldn't believe.
"Hey Rainbow. Come out here real quick."
"What is it?" She made her way into the living room where I was standing over the back of the couch.
"Look at that." I gestured down at the two girls sleeping side by side wrapped up tighter than I thought was possible.
"Wait, what?!" She looked at me with disbelief and her jaw hanging open.
"Yep, ya owe me ten bucks!"
END
