M'aiq The Liar.

by Enigmus

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Sex, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Original Character
Length: 8922

M'aiq knows many things that others do not, that much is plainly obvious. Many call him a liar, but M'aiq knows this to be untrue and unfair. M'aiq will not share his greatness to those who are not grateful for it. Not anymore...

(The "Sex" tag is only here because of the jokes that are in the story. Or... the jokes that WILL be in the story in the future. Also, the story will be slightly suggestive. So, if that isn't your cup o' tea, then I suggest you turn tail and run. The "Gore'" tag is there because of obvious reasons. There will be fighting in this story, so... yeah. Enjoy!)

(Also, if anyone doesn't know for some reason... this is a Skyrim crossover. M'aiq shows up all the way back to Morrowind, but I chose Skyrim's timeline for this particular story.)

M'aiq knows many things that others do not, that much is plainly obvious. Many call him a liar, but M'aiq knows this to be untrue and unfair. He strives to share his knowledge among the peasants, but they shrug him off, as if they were blind to greatness. He simply wishes to leave Tamriel and start a fresh life where his tarnished reputation cannot follow him. M'aiq knows many things others do not, but no one, not even the great M'aiq could ever predict what fate had in store for this lying cat.

Published 2015-04-09 14:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-21 15:27:38 UTC

M'aiq The Liar

"What does it mean to combine magic? Magic plus magic is still magic." ~M'aiq the Liar

The land of Skyrim was as cold and inhospitable as it had always been, the people even more so than the environment. M'aiq had given his precious advice to the Dragonborn a couple of days ago, and he has yet to see gratitude. Whenever this ungrateful leech meets M'aiq, he asks the same questions over and over with no sign of any kind of 'thank you'... it's as if he doesn't take M'aiq seriously. The Khajiit sighed in frustration as he walked down the dirt road, alone to his constant thoughts of doubt and vast knowledge. The snow stung his sensitive skin, making the large cat glare down at the ground in an attempt to keep the cold skyward debris from getting into his eyes.

M'aiq couldn't remember the last time that he had entered one of the many cities and villages that were scattered across Skyrim. Mostly because everyone knew who he was and actually believed the rumors that he was a liar. Of course, M'aiq knew that he was a liar, but he hid it very well. It's not as if his harmless fun could hurt anyone of importance. M'aiq told these lies only to provide humor in an otherwise grim and hopeless world. What reason did the Dragonborn have to save the people of Tamriel? They were all maggots writhing in their own pile of hate and discrimination, and did not deserve the safety their hero provided. Though, M'aiq had seen the Dragonborn commit terrible acts of murder, thievery, and torture. The people of this land were too stupid to see that there were no real heroes in the world anymore, and the Dragonborn was evidence to this.

Ulfric had his own agenda, which was to be king, not to free the nords of Skyrim from the tyranny of the Empire. The Stormcloaks were too stupid to see that they were being conned into helping an egotistical psychopath become king. And the Empire wasn't as honorable as it had once been so many years ago... they were the Aldmeri Dominion's pet, nothing more. M'aiq knew this to be an incontrovertible fact, and anyone with half a brain would know this as well. Oh well, as a wise man once said... ignorance is bliss.

M'aiq looked around at his surroundings with an uninterested gaze, having been through this area at least a hundred times now. The city of Whiterun lay just beyond the hill in front of the Khajiit, his curiosity about to get the better of him. After all, he was essentially a cat, and curiosity just happened to be a strong characteristic of his. He sighed once again and started the climb up the semi-large hill, slipping a little on the snow. The snow was less than an inch, but it still proved to be slippery and annoying as always. He eventually reached the top of the hill, a cold breeze brushing against his fur as he did so. His eyes scanned the horizon with boredom, spotting the city after about a minute of searching. There was also a dragon off to the left of the city, attacking someone that was foolish enough to be outside of the walls at a time like this one. The small figure let loose a thunderous roar of vocal rage, a burst of light coming from said figure.

The light struck the dragon with ease, knocking the majestic beast from the sky, sending it crashing into the ground below. The figure dashed forward without hesitation, getting on top of the head of the dragon and driving his sword into the now helpless creature. The behemoth now lay still, having been defeated by the skilled warrior. M'aiq sighed a bit when a light enveloped the dragon and stripped it clean of its scales and internal organs, the soul rushing into the figure. Of course, M'aiq had to meet the Dragonborn after only a couple of days... this was really getting old.

M'aiq started to walk down the hill, his attention no longer on the murderous Dragonborn. M'aiq's right foot got caught on a small pile of snow had concealed a large and slightly buried root, making him trip and fall down the hill. His body flung down the hill in a ragdoll effect that would have been funny to anyone who happened to be watching. M'aiq didn't think this was funny at all, and tried to scream in terror as he was mercilessly bashed against the rocks. Each time he tried, he was silenced by the ground that he slammed into as he rolled down the hill. Pain seared through his leg as it snapped out of place with the sickening sound of splintering bone. He didn't have time to cry out in pain, as his head was bashed against a rock, effectively knocking him unconscious. His body was sprawled out along the rocks in an awkward position, his leg now completely useless. All he could see was darkness... and a little bit of red.

~Eight hours later~

M'aiq's eyes slowly opened, taking in the surprisingly new surroundings... he had remembered falling down that hill. He remembered the pain that had rushed through his leg like lightning, the sickening sound of bone shattering between the weight of himself and the impregnable boulders and jagged rocks. It was his fault for not looking for a side path, and he didn't like to admit he was wrong. He was inside some kind of tent, though his blurry vision wasn't giving him much to go by. He supposed that the blow to his head was a lot more severe than a simple knockout. He really hoped that nothing had happened to his eyes... then how would he be able to spy on Khajiit women as they bathed? It was a terrible existence, being blind. He even felt bad for the Falmer, but only a little... those vermin deserved a lot of what they got. Though, M'aiq wouldn't wish blindness on anyone, not even the nasty Falmer.

M'aiq tried to get up, but the pain was too much to ignore. He fell back against the bed and let out a sob of helplessness and, yes... pain. He had no friends, and everyone knew who he was. Who in their right mind would save his life? Well, it was better to lay here and wait, so he could regain at least some of his senses instead of damaging them further by exerting unecessary energy. His vision started to clear up after about ten minutes of staring at the small ceiling of the tent, not daring to turn his head to look at the rest of the room. Soon after that, he could now see as clearly as he had before the accident, which was a relief. He sighed a bit, his curiosity already getting the best of him. With a massive amount of pain shooting through his neck and head, he was able to look to the side to properly take in his surroundings. There were various crates and barrels, and goods of some value propped up against and on top of said crates and barrels. The tent itself was very familiar to M'aiq, which was plainly obvious in what kind of person made it. The tent was of Khajiit making, and very finely-decorated at that.

M'aiq's eyes darted to the entrance to see another one of his kind, but the identity of this Khajiit was unknown to him. This particular Khajiit had darker fur than M'aiq's, and her eyes shone a certain wisdom and intelligence. The Khajiit stopped beside M'aiq's bed and looked over at his patient's wounds, not saying anything just yet. M'aiq didn't say anything, still very unsure of his savior's intentions.

The Khajiit looked up at M'aiq and offered him a kind smile, "Do not worry yourself, friend. I will not harm you in any way, or do anything to warrant any kind of distrust. You may call me Ahkari, as that is my name. I found you on a hill not too far away from here... you had barely been alive, and it was surprising that you were in the first place. That leg of yours is doing a little better with the help of healing potions and herbs, but it will still need some time to heal. As for where you are, you're in my caravan tent outside of Whiterun."

Ahkari paused for a moment, tilting her head slightly, "And may I ask what your name is?"

M'aiq cleared his throat and said, resorting to his bad habit of third-person speech, "M'aiq is the name of this Khajiit. But he wonders why you chose to save him... do you think that he is beautiful? Is this why you saved M'aiq?"

Ahkari raised an eyebrow at that, an expression of confusion on her face, "Uh, no... no that's not why I saved your life. I did it because it's the right thing to do."

M'aiq offered a small smile of gratitude, then went on to ask his next question,"M'aiq thanks you for your kindness. So, are you saying that he is not beautiful? How about sexy? Is M'aiq sexy?"

Ahkari backed off a bit towards the entrance of the tent, "Sure... yeah, sure. Alright, you just, uh... make yourself at home. I need to attend to some business."

With that, Ahkari turned on a dime and hurried out of the tent, leaving M'aiq alone yet again to his thoughts. He was glad to be in a proper bed after months and months of living out in the wild with nothing but the ground. He didn't know why he walked around Tamriel, but it felt right to him. It felt as if his duty was to spread his name throughout the land... to travel to places that not even the Dragonborn would go. But did he really have a reason to be alive? Was there a point in his existence? Deep down, he wished that he had died on that rocky hill... no one needed a lying Khajiit like himself. Except himself.

~Six days later~

With the help of herbs, various other medicines, and a bit of healing magic, M'aiq was able to walk around on his own yet again. He had wanted to stay with the other khajiit for a little while longer, but they had insisted on leaving the moment he was able to stand. M'aiq simply assumed that they were too awestruck by his majestic beauty, as all other people usually were. He was even amazed at himself at times, which was hard to believe, even for himself.

M'aiq was now walking up the path that led to the gate of Whiterun, a limp in his leg very apparent to anyone who looked at him. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be paying much attention to him. He walked up to a guard that was in front of the gate and offered a smile in hopes of entry. Dragons were being seen about the land, so security had gotten exceptionally tight.

The guard held a hand up and said, "Halt. By order of the Jarl, anyone that wishes to enter Whiterun must pay a fee of twenty-five gold. If you can't afford the fee... then get out of here, cat."

M'aiq simply chuckled and said, "Money is of no issue for M'aiq. M'aiq is willing to pay you in full."

M'aiq got into his coin bag and withdrew twenty-five gold, handing it to the guard. He was well aware that the jarl would never let something like this happen, but it was better to just pay up. He didn't feel like becoming a rug for a mindless nord. The guard accepted the coins and simply grunted in response. With that, the other guard that had been standing to the side opened the gate, revealing the city within. It was truly a sight to behold! A blacksmith could be seen slouching against a wooden pillar in front of her shop, scratching her ass when no one was looking. Children could be seen running about unsupervised and unbridled, just ripe for the picking for a pedophile. It was strange to call this place a city since its population probably didn't even surpass one-hundred.

M'aiq walked into the city and headed down the road, which allowed for a better view. There seemed to be a lot of commotion in the market district. In fact, there were quite a lot of flashes and screams of terror. Curiosity winning over common sense, the khajiit took off at a jog towards the flashing lights that were just around the corner. He couldn't quite see the origin of the lights, but it was clearly scaring everyone around them. As he was about to get a good view of the lights, a woman ran into him in blind terror. She had been carrying a multitude of potions, which had been thrown into the air on accident. The woman cried out in surprise, falling to the ground before she had the chance to react. M'aiq, being the chivalrous person he was, tried to catch the potions for the lady. M'aiq reached out and attempted to grab one of the air bound potions. Just as he was about to wrap his fingers around it, another potion came down faster than he could react. With the sound of shattering glass, the potion landed on his face, cutting said face up quite badly.

M'aiq dropped the other potion he had managed to catch, covering his face with both hands, "Agh! Son of a bitch! M'aiq's perfect face has been marred by glass! The potion smells terrible, too!"

The woman scrambled to her feet, an entirely new fear now on her face, "Oh no... I am so sorry, cat! I... I have to go! Stay away from me!"

The woman ran away from M'aiq, her face portraying the expression of fear, but not of the mini light show just around the corner. She actually seemed afraid of him now. His face had only minor cuts, and it wasn't as if it was her fault in the first place. Though, the potion was tickling his face quite a bit. He turned his attention back towards where the lights had been, but was met with the source of those lights merely two feet away from him. The dragonborn, one of the ones M'aiq hated most, and a mage were locked in a magical battle. Flames, lighting, and other types of magic were being thrown about not only at each other, but at their surroundings as well. M'aiq was only now realizing the trouble he was in, and it was far too late. A stray shot of some type of purple magic filled his vision before he could react in time. All he could do was close his eyes and scream as he was struck with the magic. He was thrown four feet away from the battle, sliding along the ground, tearing up his skin. He came to a stop in front of the blacksmith lady who was, strangely enough, still scratching her ass as if nothing was going on.

She looked down and asked in a nonchalant tone, "Are you going to buy something or not?"

The dragonborn and the mage stopped fighting and looked over at M'aiq, the mage in particular looking a bit worried. M'aiq looked across his body, which felt as if it was on fire. A purple flame-like light was traveling from the impact point, which was on his stomach, outwards across the rest of his body. He found himself unable to utter a scream in time, as the purple flames raced across his skin faster than he could form thoughts. In a brilliant flash of light, a summoning portal ripped open inside of his chest, yanking him inside of it. He expected to be ripped to shreds, but he felt no more pain after that. Only the cold grip of darkness.

Feline Dilemma

"M'aiq is always in search of calipers, yet finds none. Where could they have gone?" ~M'aiq the Liar

The air was filled with moisture from a downpour that had fallen upon the residents of a small town about four hours ago, which was great for walks along the road that headed straight out of the town. One of those residents, who went by the name of Nephyr, was taking advantage of the soothing air. He wasn't like most residents you would find in a small town, and in fact, none of the residents were like anything you'd find... well, anywhere. Anywhere that would make sense anyway. Nephyr, along with everyone else in his town, and his country for that matter, was a pony. And he wasn't an ordinary pony at all. This type of pony is called a unicorn. Disappointingly, despite contrary belief, unicorns do not fart rainbows. But they do perform feats of spectacular magic, which has helped this country thrive both economically... and militarily. After all, who would want to fuck with someone that had the ability to explode your body and turn it into a shower of crimson red, let alone an entire nation of these powerhouses?

Nephyr whistled a simple tune he had learned from his mother when his but a young colt. He smiled at the sight of a rainbow upon the horizon, furthering the beauty of a group of butterflies that crossed his path in that moment. Everything was so pretty after rain, and he couldn't pass up the opportunity of witnessing this beauty himself. As he was looking around at his surroundings, he spotted a flash of purple light near a group of trees off to his right. The trees were about forty feet away from him, so he supposed that investigating this strange light wasn't too far out of his way.

Nephyr said to himself in a cheerful tone, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained!"

With that, he veered off of the road towards the small group of trees in the grassy plains. There were mud puddles scattered across the vast area, but he was used to getting dirty. After all, you had to get used to dirt when you lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere. As he got closer and closer to the trees, nothing seemed to happen. The light could no longer be seen, and nothing else seemed to have resulted from this strange phenomenon. He ducked under a branch to enter the tightly grouped trees, confident in his abilities to traverse the treacherous terrain. Right when the confidence formed, he tripped on a thick root that protruded from the ground. His face slammed into the ground, pain instantly shooting through his neck and skull. He slowly got up and groaned, his vision a little blurry from the impact. Through his blurry vision, he could see a figure in the middle of the trees. The figure was not moving, but it was definitely not a piece of nature. The form was too precise to be a plant. As his vision cleared, he was able to discern the strange creature. It was like nothing he had ever seen before, and he had seem some strange shit in his time.

The creature was bipedal like a gryphon, but seemingly more upright than one. Well, the way the body is shaped, it was obviously an uprightly standing creature. Its facial features were that of a cat. The cat creature was unconscious on the ground, its hands splayed out at its sides, and its legs both straight and spread out. Nephyr, being the adventurous fellow that he was, decided to walk up on the cat-thing. The cat's eyes slowly slid open and met Nephyr's for a long minute.

Nephyr chanced a question, wondering if his safety was at jeopardy, "Are you alright down there, sir? You seem to be laying on the ground. I can't imagine that you'd do that on purpose."

The cat blinked a couple of times in what Nephyr assumed was surprise, "M'aiq... does not know what is going on. This surprises him. For M'aiq knows many things that others do not. And on top of that, M'aiq does not know where he is."

Nephyr adopted a look of annoyance at the way the cat was speaking, "That's a strange way to talk. I hope it's just brain damage from hitting your head. At least I know your name now. As to your location, you're near the town of Berxley in the country of Equestria. I'm terribly sorry if this a bit forward, M'aiq, but what the hell are you?"

M'aiq slowly got up on his two feet, proving Nephyr's theory that the cat was a bipedal creature, "M'aiq is a khajiit, he would of thought that to be obvious. As for you... are you a donkey of some kind? No, you're much too white for that. You're as white as snow. Yet your mane is as black as the darkest night. Hm..."

Nephyr raised an eyebrow at that, feeling a little offended, "I beg your pardon, sir! I take offense to that! I am clearly a-"

M'aiq quickly cut Nephyr off, making a hand gesture for the pony to be silent, "Quiet. M'aiq needs you to be quiet. He can figure this out, he knows it! Are you... a mule? No? A horse? No? M'aiq thought he hit it on the nail with that one. Are you a... pony?"

Nephyr was not amused by M'aiq's guessing game, and his face clearly showed it, "Yes, M'aiq... I'm a pony. Since you don't know how you got here, I suppose the first place to find clues is the village. After all, somepony must have seen something."

M'aiq grimaced a bit, "Somepony? M'aiq is disgusted at your wording. Stop that."

Nephyr glared at M'aiq, realizing that maybe the cat was worth helping, "Well, if you don't like the way I talk, then I suppose you can just find the solution to your problem on your own. You don't talk so nicely yourself there, pal."

M'aiq sighed a bit and said, "M'aiq is sorry for offending you. He never wished for such a thing to happen. Will you still help M'aiq?"

Nephyr mulled it over for half a minute and shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, sure, I'll still help you. Well, follow me then if you want to find your answers. It's about a three minute walk from here. Oh, and you can call me Nephyr."

M'aiq nodded once, "Then M'aiq will call you Nephyr from now on. Lead on then, Nephyr. M'aiq will follow you on this dangerous journey."

Nephyr shook his head a little at the strangeness of his newfound friend and headed off. He wondered what this friendship would bring, and if it was a good idea to bring this cat... or khajiit according to M'aiq... to the village that he held so dear. Well, if M'aiq caused any trouble, then Nephyr would just break his legs and leave him out in the wild. Fortunately, he had the feeling that M'aiq held no malice towards him or his people. The cat genuinely seemed confused about his surroundings. They walked for about a minute and a half in utter silence, the birds not even daring to utter a tweet for whatever reason.

Suddenly, M'aiq broke the silence with a single question, "You smell nice. What soap do you use?"

This was going to be a long day.

An Urgent Mission

"It is good the people wear clothing. M'aiq wears clothing. Who would want to see M'aiq naked? Sick, sick people. Very sad." ~M'aiq the Liar

Today was a day like any other. The sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and the homeless were raiding through the trash cans that were scattered from house to house for trash day. Yes, it was truly a day in which breathing the air didn't make you want to vomit. The Wonderbolts sometimes screw things up and make the air smell rancid somehow. It's happened a couple of times this week, and it's probably going to happen yet again in the future. The town, Ponyville, had been spared from a massive rain shower that had covered a huge amount of Equestria, but only barely. There had been a light sprinkle for about a minute, but that was about it.

"Twilight! Yoo hoo, over here! TWILIGHT!" A voice called out upon the wind.

Twilight looked around her, a floating daisy sandwich in front of her hung open mouth. She had stopped at a local restaurant to take a break from her busy life, but it seemed her duties followed her wherever she went. She spotted a pink pony bounding up and down on the road, her eyes practically bulging out of her skull. Said pink pony stopped in front of Twilight, babbling incoherently as she tried to gasp for air.

Twilight brought up a hoof and placed it on the pink pony's lips, effectively silencing her, "Pinkie, start from the beginning... I can't understand you when you talk a mile a minute."

Pinkie Pie got her breath back and said, "Twilight, you'll never guess what happened! Go on! Guess!"

Twilight sighed and pressed her hoof against her face in annoyance, "Pinkie... just tell me what's going on."

Pinkie Pie propped both her hooves upon the table and got about less than an inch away from Twilight's face, "You'll. Never. Guess. Princess Celestia sent a letter to Spike! Everypony else is at the castle waiting for you, silly!"

Twilight's face dropped in disappointment, her gaze shifting over her half-eaten sandwich. Why, oh, why can she never catch a break? With yet another sigh, she got up and placed bits upon the table on top of her bill. Pinkie, surprisingly without another word, ran off in the direction of the castle, no doubt expecting Twilight to bound after her. Twilight, however, was tired and didn't feel like bounding in a public area. With two bites, she was able to devour the sandwich. She took off at a fast walk to try to catch up with Pinkie Pie, but trying to not look like a fool at the same time.

The castle, which was a rather new addition to Ponyville, wasn't that far away, so it' not like she had to walk very far. She was still trying to get used to the whole princess thing, and here came along an entire castle. After about four minutes of walking, she had arrived at the entrance to the castle. She opened the double doors with her magic and headed into the castle, making her way to the throne room with the map. All of her friends were waiting in the throne room, but not on the chairs. It seemed that they didn't need to access the map, as they would have already been seated at the chairs by now.

A blue pegasus waved a hoof and called out to Twilight, even though she were less than five feet away from Twilight, "Hey there, Twilight! We already know where we have to go, so the map is pretty useless right now. Just thought I'd point that out."

Twilight approached her friends, "Yeah, I figured that already, Rainbow Dash. So, what do we have to do? Is it some ancient kingdom in danger, a town with a cutie mark problem...? Or are we supposed to figure something out about ourselves? Am I hitting the nail on the head here, or is it something actually new and interesting?"

A filthy, orange Earth pony, piped up in a familiar country accent, "All we know is that we need ta' head to a small town on the edge of the border for some reason. We're not too sure why, though. Apparently there was some magical surge around there that Celestia wasn't familiar with. But the strange part is that she was able ta' sense it from all the way from Canterlot."

Twilight frowned a bit at that, her interest finally being peaked, "Really? She was able to sense a magical surge all the way from Canterlot? It must really be something to be that big. I wonder why high level unicorns like myself weren't able to sense it? Oh well, we'll get the answers we need when we head over there. So... what's the name of this town?"

Rainbow piped up, interrupting Applejack before she could talk, "We're going to a town called Berxley. Ah've never heard of it before, but that's where Celestia wants ta' go, so that's where we're gonna' go. "

Spike, Twilight's pet dragon, looked up from a comic he had been reading, "Berxely? That sounds really familiar. Twilight, didn't we used to know a unicorn that was from Berxley back when we used to live in Canterlot?"

Twilight had heard of Berxley before, but that was a long time ago. She used to talk with a unicorn named Nephyr that was from that town when she was still in school, studying magic. She had almost forgot about him, but at least this gave her a chance to visit an old friend. Even if that visit would have a national crisis following close behind it.

Drugs Are Bad, Mkay?

"Levitation is for fools. Why would we want to levitate? Once you are up high, there is nowhere to go but down." ~ M'aiq the Liar

The walk to the herbalist's house wasn't too much of a hassle, which was a relief since they had been walking for what seemed like forever. They had passed through a gate that, for some reason, separated one side of the town from the other. This side of town seemed to be less clean, and less welcoming. As Nephyr and M'aiq walked on, it was clear that they were now entering the slums. Ponies looked less and less wealthy, and poverty was starting to show its ugly face. Small ponies, no doubt children, were resorting to playing with tattered toys and even the dirt. Rats could be seen scurrying through the alley ways, and the homeless slowly began to rise in number as the two went further in. Nephyr looked at these unfortunate ponies with seemingly genuine sadness, which enforced M'aiq's assumption that the doctor was kind.

M'aiq hadn't realized that he had been frowning the entire time, "M'aiq is saddened by the poverty. Why is this allowed to take place?"

Nephyr sighed a bit and said, "It's the mayor. As friendly and kind as he might seem to you, he's a terrible pony. The rich get to live on one side, and the poor on the other. He focuses most of his attention on the rich side, and even had the entrance to the village moved to that side. This side of the village is surrounded by a wall, and a gate is the only way into this place. He's trying to slowly push them out and replace them with ponies that have more money. His overall goal is to turn this town into a bustling city. And he'll do anything to achieve his goal. When I said that we should get advice from him, I didn't mean we should trust him. I had to keep up appearances around the other rich ponies. It's considered a type of treason to side with the poor. Truth is, I'm sickened by all of this. It's not the way things should be done."

It was clear that most of these ponies were malnourished and sick. In almost every direction, there was some kind of coughing, and even the occasional sobbing. Nephyr led M'aiq to a small shop with a sign that read Cordellia's Home-Grown Herbs and Medicine. It was a strange-looking building to be sure. There was a door in front, and two large windows that dominated most of the wall on both sides of said door. A symbol of a half-closed eye with a purple iris and blackened outline could be seen on the door, and the windows. And now that M'aiq looked closer, it could also be seen on the sign as well. Nephyr approached the door and opened it, looking around the interior for a bit before going in.

The inside was much, much stranger than the outside. There were tables and shelves scattered along the wall in a seemingly orderly fashion, yet still possessing that messy vibe. Jars lined the shelves in the hundreds, all containing the strangest of things. Dead insects, dozens of tongues from frogs (according to the label on the jar), flowers with what looked like some kind of oil at the bottom, and so many other things. The tables had so many different things on them, ranging from medicine to deer antlers. And to boot, there were so many cats around the place that it looked like a zoo. M'aiq didn't dare try to count them all, as he knew that it'd be pointless. Quite a few of these cats took an interest in M'aiq, but that was to be expected. He was a type of cat after all.

A long counter separated the customer side from the owner's side, but the owner was nowhere to be seen. The shop was open, so the owner should be ready for customers. Then again, there was a small bell next to a... thing? It was big and bulky, and it most likely served a purpose. But what?

M'aiq decided to ask Nephyr about it, "Nephyr. What is that big thing on that counter? It frightens M'aiq by being unknown to him."

Nephyr gave M'aiq a weird look, "That's... a cash register. You know, where the owner keeps the money they make on a particular day, then take that money out to put it in a safe at the end of that day?" he then called out to the owner, "Cordelia, are you there? Hello! Is anyone there at all?"

Almost immediately, a voice rung out from the back, "I'll be there in a second, do not fear! I'm cleaning up back here!"

Nephyr looked at M'aiq, "Cordellia is a little strange, so try to be patient with her. She really knows her stuff, though. If anyone can help you, she can."

A pony... no not a pony... came out from an archway covered in beads of many different colors. This particular creature was shaped like a pony, but had black and white strips along her body. Her eyes were a sharp green that were filled with wisdom and grandmotherly kindness. Yet there was also something a bit off about her as well. M'aiq couldn't quite place what it was, though.

Cordellia spoke up with a deep womanly voice that sounded both motherly and ridiculous, "Ah, hello there! How do you fare? Wait a second," she stopped talking and eyed M'aiq for a bit before a huge smile dominated her muzzle, "this is really some else! A bipedal cat!"

Nephyr spoke up first, "My friend here is a little new to Berxley and he needed an alchemist to help him out. Don't worry, I'll pay for any of the expenses. M'aiq, meet Cordellia. Cordellia, meet M'aiq."

Cordellia studied M'aiq for what seemed like an eternity, one of her eyes slowly shifting off to the side as if it had a mind of its own, "Do not worry yourself, I would not dream of gaining profit from a cat for myself. Now what do you want this humble herbalist to do for you today? Perhaps a massage?"

M'aiq took out one of the bottles of skooma he had, "M'aiq would like for you to analyze this potion, get the recipe, and make at least ten copies. M'aiq hopes that this is not an inconvenience for you."

Cordellia took the bottle of skooma, eyeing it with curiosity whilst her lazy eye was still looking up at M'aiq, "If I may ask, what does this do?"

M'aiq looked at Nephyr nervously, then back at Cordellia, "M'aiq does not want to say what it is for. He just wants more of it. M'aiq will pay you if this is too huge of an order."

Cordellia opened the bottle without another word and took a swig of the skooma, "It has a peculiar taste. But so far, there are no noticeable effects. Perhaps-..."

M'aiq's eyes were wide with horror, knowing that his secret would soon be discovered. He had wanted to stop the herbalist, but he didn't know what to say without sounding suspicious. Cordellia's eyes twitched every few seconds, said eyes two times wider than M'aiq's. She simply stood there for three long minutes, not saying anything at all. She then looked around her with a scary amount of alertness about her. She seemed to be taking in her surroundings with a mixture of fear, surprise, and a million other unnameable emotions. She looked back at M'aiq, her entire body shaking as if it were being electrocuted.

Cordellia muttered quickly and softly, now looking down at a fly that had landed on her hoof, "Do you need lotion? Your skin is falling off. So is mine. I think we're dying. That elephant is sighing. Am I dead? That dog needs fed. The potion. It needs lotion. Lotion on its skin. Lotion, lotion, lotion... potion... we're dying... skin... dying puppies..."

Nephyr looked between a heavily drugged Cordellia and a horrified M'aiq, "What the hell was in that potion, M'aiq? Cordellia is weird and all, but she isn't ever this weird."

M'aiq simply said, "It is not a poison, so there is nothing to fear. It is... a type of happy drink. Yeah, let's just call it that. M'aiq claims no responsibility for what the herbalist might do in the next few seconds."

Cordellia stared at the ceiling with her mouth open, softly waving a hoof out in front of her, "Happy drink... yes... happy drink. Very happy. Something to do with fornicating griffons. Rubbing cats. Happy. Very happy..."

M'aiq took a feather from a quill that was sitting on the counter and used a blank piece of paper that was placed neatly on a shelf. He wrote on the paper, telling Cordellia to make her choice of whether or not she wanted to make copies of the potion. He also told her that they'd be back tomorrow. With the letter done, he placed it next to the strange-looking device called a cash register. Nephyr wanted to stay and make sure that Cordellia would be okay by herself, and M'aiq responded by locking the front door behind them. He had never seen anyone react to skooma that way before. Sure, the user was a bit loopy, but it never started that quickly and it sure as hell wasn't that potent. Truthfully, he just wanted to get out of there.

M'aiq looked at Nephyr, "M'aiq thinks that it would be best to return later when Cordellia has regained her senses. M'aiq knows what he is talking about. She'll be fine by herself."

Nephyr looked at the door nervously, "Well, if you say so... but if anything happens to her, you're going to be held accountable. Since you're comfortable with walking away like this, I'm going to assume that everything really is going to be fine. Don't disappoint me, M'aiq."

M'aiq started to walk away from the herbalist's shop, "M'aiq understands this and he assures you that no harm will befall the herbalist. M'aiq wishes to see where you live. You don't mind, do you?"

Nephyr sighed and started to walk with M'aiq, "Yeah, sure, why not? You're going to be staying there for a couple days anyway, so it's only natural that you'd want to see the apartment. By the way, I'm not stupid, M'aiq. That was obviously some kind of drug, and I want to know exactly what you brought into my town."

M'aiq frowned, feeling guilty for the first time in years. He had brought a thing like skooma into this world, and who knows what consequences would arise from it. He had only wanted to keep it for himself, but the herbalist had taken a drink of it before he could react. This might complicate his stay in Berxley. He faltered for a moment, wondering if he had remembered to put the skooma back into his bag. He shrugged off that doubt, deciding that he had remembered. Besides, he'd rather not see what effects skooma might have on a species he only came in contact with today.

M'aiq simply said, "The potion will wear off and she'll be just fine. Trust M'aiq on this one. He is no liar."

Author's Note

Rhyming for zebras is incredibly difficult. Please excuse the lack of rhyming here and there. I'd rather keep white hairs away from my head. So, the quick fix (albeit temporary) was to drug her. Makes things easier for me. Chances are, she's not going to be a character that'll last long in the story.

But this whole skooma thing has a purpose, and isn't just some filler.

The Skooma Predicament

"The island of naked ladies? Yes, M'aiq has heard of that. It only appears when the moon is full, the seas run red, and it is M'aiq's birthday." ~M'aiq the Liar

The town of Berxley wasn't very impressive, but M'aiq was used to towns being small and boring. After all, Skyrim was full of wannabe cities that are worse than a group of dirty hovels ran by the Forsworn. This town, as boring as it might seem, wasn't as bad as he had previously thought it to be. No one here claimed to be living inside a city. They simply seemed content with their lives, and the others around them. It was a nice change to be in a happy town like this one. Sure, he got a few weird looks here and there, but that was to be expected when meeting an entirely new intelligent species. He got the feeling, however, that they were used to seeing a multitude of intelligent creatures, which led him to believe that there were probably different intelligent species besides ponies.

Nephyr pointed a hoof towards a building that vaguely resembled a store, but was sleek and clean, unlike most of the stores in Skyrim, "That's the grocery store where everyone gets their... well, groceries. Ole' Frazzle has ran the place ever since I was a colt."

M'aiq raised an eyebrow at the name of the proprietor of the store, "Frazzle? M'aiq wonders why you ponies have such strange names. He has come up with a theory, however. M'aiq thinks that you all have strange names because you're all strange. This is correct, no?"

Nephyr adopted a look of annoyance for whatever reason, "No, that's not why we have weird na-" he stopped himself and shook his head quickly, "we don't have weird names! Frazzle Dazzle has a really cool name, okay?"

M'aiq covered his mouth with a hand to keep himself from laughing, "F-Frazzle... Dazzle?"

Nephyr stopped walking, which in turn stopped M'aiq. The pony eyed the khajiit carefully, obviously irked at the fact that he was about to bust out laughing. In all of his travels, he had never come across a stranger name like Frazzle Dazzle. It was so damn funny that he thought he was legitimately going to pop a nut by keeping it in. Without any further restraint, the kahjiit let loose a torrent of unbridled laughter. He gripped his stomach, which was now starting to hurt quite a lot.

Nephyr's face shifted from annoyance to anger, "What?! What in Tartarus are you laughing at? And don't tell me it's about Frazzle Dazzle's name!"

At the exact moment that M'aiq heard Nephyr say the old pony's name again, his laughter increased ten fold. Spectators from all directions stopped to watch the commotion. There was a lot of confusion, but as they say, laughter truly is contagious. One by one, each pony went from small chuckles to full-blown laughter. Soon, a massive crowd was laughing, some even rolling on the ground. The fools didn't even know what they were laughing at! M'aiq decided then and there that he loved this town. This was priceless!

Nephyr looked around him with a gaping mouth of surprise, "I... they're... laughing? Just because he was laughing? I'm... I'm surrounded by morons."

Soon, the laughter subsided, and the ponies went about their day as if nothing had happened. Though, M'aiq got quite a few smiles and looks of approval. Whatever prejudice the residents of this town held before about him, it was almost certainly gone now. And all he had to do was laugh like a maniac. He chuckled a bit and patted Nephyr's back, feeling happier than he had been in a very long time. The look of acceptance was almost foreign to him, and he really didn't want to lose it.

Nephyr shook his head, smiling a bit despite himself, "Alright, let's head to the mayor's office. If anypony knows about how you got here, she'll know. Or she'll at least be able to give us a few leads. I hope."

M'aiq stretched his arms out, a huge smile still present on his face, "After all that, M'aiq could do with some skooma. After all, what better way to soothe your nerves than skooma? Well, I suppose not soothe... more like energize."

Nephyr looked a little confused, "Skooma? What's that?"

M'aiq's smile disappeared in an instant, "Skooma. You know... skooma. M'aiq is worried now. If you, a doctor, has never heard of skooma, then the townsfolk definitely haven't. Please tell M'aiq that you are playing a sick and twisted joke on him. This isn't funny, you monster. There are some lines you don't cross."

Nephyr looked over M'aiq with concern, "No, I've really never heard of skooma before. I assure you, I'm not joking. I'm assuming it's some kind of food or drink... and if I've never heard of it, I doubt anyone else in this town has."

M'aiq's body froze as the sudden realization of his predicament came crashing down upon the very core of his soul. His eyes were as big as saucers, and his body was trembling in terror and despair. He stared off in front of him, looking at nothing in particular. The horror of a world without skooma was too much for his heart to bear. He had loved this town a minute ago, and now all he wanted to do was to get the hell out of it. Maybe Tamriel wasn't so bad after all.

Nephyr's voice brought him back to reality, though only partially, "M'aiq, just keep it together, alright? I'll try to get skooma for you when I can, okay? It's not like it's the end of the world, or anything like that."

M'aiq sighed a bit as he decided to wait to see if the world actually did have skooma or not. As they were walking, his eyes widened again, but instead of a look of despair, a look of joy and realization formed on his face. After that mental meltdown, he had actually forgotten that he had three bottles of skooma. He'd just have an alchemist analyze one of the potions and make some for him. But for now, it was time to get his drink on.

M'aiq got into his bag and retrieved one of the bottles he had, eyeing it with a crazy eyes, "M'aiq wants to suck on your hole all night long, baby... yeah..."

Nephyr stopped walking again, but didn't turn around, "E-excuse... me...?"

M'aiq looked up from his skooma, thanking the nine divines that cats couldn't physically blush, "Oh, M'aiq does not mean you. He means the skooma that he forgot in his bag. You have not taken him out to dinner. M'aiq does not put out that easily."

Nephyr didn't say anything, but merely shook his head in silence. The walk was uneventful, and his new friend actually had the audacity to stop and have conversations along the way as if they didn't have a situation to deal with. They eventually made it to the mayor's office, which was a massive relief. It was an unimpressive building in an even more unimpressive town, and it was only one story high. A sign above the door did indeed indicate that it was the mayor's office. It was clean and homey just like all the other buildings, but it wasn't anything special. They headed inside and were met with a cool draft blowing against them. M'aiq suspected some type of magic, but instead he found a... strange rotating device. Blades were spinning inside a small cage to create wind. Whoever made this device was an absolute genius.

M'aiq walked up to the strange contraption, awe-struck by the ingenuity it possessed, "M'aiq... he has never seen such an amazing machine before. Is it powered by magic?"

Nephyr nudged M'aiq to go into a small room off to the left, "It's a fan... sweet mother of... how do you not know what this is? Ah, forget it. just get in there, so we can talk to the mayor."

M'aiq and Nephyr knocked on the door, which was opened almost immediately by some sort of cyan magical glow that wrapped around the handle. It seems that these ponies were capable of magic as well. The interior of the office was small, but just as homey as the outside of the building was. A blue unicorn was seated at a desk at the far end, opposite of the door. This particular pony looked to be male just like Nephyr. When you looked at these ponies, it was actually very easy to tell their gender from their muzzles.

The unicorn spoke up with a smile, "Ah, hello there! I've no idea what you are, but you're welcome in our little town regardless. We here at Berxley have no prejudice against anyone! Oh, and hey there, Nephyr! Now, what can I, a humble mayor, do for you? Oh, and the name's Krieger."

M'aiq stepped forward after being silently nudged by Nephyr, "M'aiq would like to ask you a few questions. Do you know anything about M'aiq, or how he may have gotten to this town? He woke up outside of this town after being struck by a blast of summoning magic."

Krieger's welcoming, and no doubt practiced, smile faltered a bit, but stayed in place, "That's definitely not a good thing, now is it? No, I can't say that I know anything. Though, I do know of somepony that'll take an interest in your situation. I'll send a letter to one of the princesses of the land, and she'll make sure that you get home. Unfortunately, the message will take some time to reach her, so you'll have to stay the night once or twice. Maybe even three times if the weather is terrible. But our mail pony will get the letter to its destination eventually. Do you have a place to stay? If not, I could arrange a place for you."

Nephyr stepped forward and said before M'aiq could respond, "I have a spare bedroom M'aiq can use while he waits. Unless you want to stay somewhere else?"

M'aiq looked down at Nephyr in surprise, "M'aiq is humbled by your offer. Yes, he wishes to stay with you until we get a response from the princess. Thank you. Also..." he looked back at the mayor, "do you know of an alchemist in town? M'aiq only has three bottles of skooma, and he wishes to get his drink on. He would like to get one of the bottles of skooma analyzed so more can be made."

Krieger nodded, "Well, we do have an herbalist at the far end of town. She's pretty good at what she does. That's the closest thing we have to an alchemist here at Berxley."

M'aiq nodded once, "This will do just fine. M'aiq thanks you for your honesty. That is all the questions that he has for now."

Krieger let loose an unnaturally large smile, which was obviously fake, "You're welcome, dear visitor! Berxley is a hospitable town, and there is absolutely no prejudice. None at all. I swear. None. You have a good day now!"

M'aiq wondered why Krieger pointed out that there was no discrimination in the town so many times. There was something off about the mayor, something that made M'aiq feel uncomfortable and a little concerned. He'd have to keep an eye on Krieger for a while just in case. Nephyr and M'aiq made their way out of the office, then the building. He wasn't sure about where to go in this town, so he simply followed Nephyr. He really wanted to get to this herbalist as quick as he could, though.

Nephyr pointed down a long road that went through the town, "At the end of that road at the edge of town... that's where the herbalist lives. Bu I should warn you that she's a bit... off. She really likes cats. Like, a lot."

M'aiq brushed a bit of dirt off his right shoulder, deciding that he'd have to clean his robe sometime today, "Everyone likes M'aiq for his handsome face, and his sexy body. Cats are naturally amazing. This herbalist sounds wise."

Nephyr chuckled nervously and muttered to himself, "On the contrary... she's bat-shit crazy."