Well, Shit

by A Toaster Oven

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Gore
Length: 6678

What happens when a gamer falls through a portal leading to Equestria? Who knows? I know, but you don't. Read the story and find out.

Having the most fucked up/amazing life, James is happy. He has his Wii U, his PS3, his XBox 360, his PC and other shit. But how on planet fucking Earth did he fall through a portal leading to Equestria? And how did he get weapons? Plot convenience, that's how.

Published 2014-11-22 20:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-06 06:21:15 UTC

Prologue and some other boring shit nobody cares about

11:36 am on April 4th, 2016

"COME THE FUCK ON YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!" "Dude, calm down. It's just a game." "Says the guy who isn't playing Demoknight." "What does me playing as Spy and not Demoknight have to do with you getting killed by a Sentry Gun?" "Your job as Spy is to kill Snipers, Engies, and Heavies. Along with taking out Engineer Sentry Nests. My job is to fuck their shit up." "I know, but if you haven't noticed they have like 2-4 Pyros guarding that nest." "Oh shit dude, I have to go to bed. It's like 11:36 where I am." "See ya later dude"

That is how James' day got started. Raging over W+M1 pyros, Lv. 3 Sentry Guns, and other stuff. But, you don't care about that. What you care about is this.

2:00 pm; Equestria

It was a very special day, so special that Celestia was concerned about what was happening and doing stuff(for once). It was the first ever public internet connection with Earth. Not Equestria Girls Earth, but Earth Earth. It has been about 4-5 months since Twilight came back after the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff with Starlight Glimmer. Previously, after the events of the first EG movie, Twilight came back with some "advanced technology" that she asked Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo to help with. It was the first Pony Computer. After that 'Minecraft' was all Sweetie and all the foals could think about. Everypony else was thinking How the hay does one even work this thing?

Princess Luna had become a pretty big gamer so she was asked to also help out. While in the Everfree Forest, Twilight stumbled across a PC and it was pre-loaded with games such as Team Fortress 2, Terraria, Castle Crashers, BattleBlock Theater and more. That was over 3 weeks ago. Now both Luna's and the CMC's PCs were ready for their first look at real-world gaming. But, a certain gamer was about to play with both of them. His name is 'A Toaster Oven' (a.k.a. James). If only the ponies knew who would be on the mic, but then there wouldn't be this work of art now, would there?

Author's Note

This is me actually doing stuff. Also please, if you have Steam, send me a friend request. Steam name is A Toaster Oven. Hopefully i can get the next chapter out soon.

The Part Where the Weird Shit Happens

1:48 AM; Equestria

"Ready to launch program named 'Team Fortress 2', begin stream"' said a random pony who was working on the connection. "Good, Is the video connection stable to project?"' Twilight asked. "Affirmative, all systems go", replied another worker pony.

1:57 AM, Earth

James had just tried to install a game called Yandere Simulator, but failed horribly. He went back to watching anime and YouTube when he got an invite to play TF2 with his friends. The message included said "Just found a server FULL of F2P Pony Fags. Help us kick their ass." He couldn't resist. He knew the types of TF2 players well. The Pony Fags were people whom installed every single MLP related mod/skin out there and couldn't stop spamming about ponies. James classified as 'The guy who likes MLP', only difference is that he was an average TF2 player who didn't spam ponies. "This is going to be good", he muttered to himself, double-clicking the TF2 icon on his desktop.

Potato APM; Equestria

Sweetie Belle and Luna were in the game called Team Fortress 2. They have already noticed that the game wasn't that nice and friendly. "Do we seriously have to keep playing this?" Sweetie asked, horrified by what she was seeing before her. "Sadly, yes. Yes you do", Twilight responded with a sad tone. All of a sudden a voice came through the game. The voice belonged to a person named A Toaster Oven.
"There is a spy disguised as a hooded sniper wielding the fortified compound, basically look for me", the voice cut out. Not sure what to think about that voice the continued to play the game. The voice spoke again saying,"Holy fucking shit, the have like 3-4 engies and they have a nest over in that building. Gonna try to take it out as Solider. I may need a Medic on my ass." The ponies were shocked at the language the voice used. "Well, this is interesting," Luna said," This voice clearly has a knowledge of whats happening in game."

As the game continued, something was happening that shouldn't be happening. Pinkie was breaking through the space-time barrier to find this 'Toaster Oven' and teach him about friendship stuffs. Luna and Sweetie have found him in-game as Sniper. The cosmetics he was wearing were amazing. He was wearing the items called 'Fancy Shmancy Berlin Brain Bowl', 'The B'yted Beak', and 'Fashonable Medical Monarch'. He was holding a weapon called 'Somewhat Threatining Specialized Killstreak Silver Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.II'. Sweetie looked through the controls to find out how to talk to him. "Hey, Twilight," Sweetie said, motioning the purple pony to her,"I figured out how to talk to him, you have to press the 'V' key." "Well, lets talk to him then," Twilight responded with a look of interest. Twilight held down the key to talk and then spoke. "Hello? Is this working?" Sweetie asked the monitor. "Yes, yes it is working", replied A Toaster Oven,"Yay, I'm not alone anymore!"

"What do you mean by that?", Twilight asked. "I'm not talking to dumb shits, I'm talking to intelligent beings", Toaster said as if talking to a friend. "Can you please stop using that language?" Sweetie asked, not knowing the can of worms she just opened. "Why?" Toaster said, holding down a laugh "Is your wittle feelwing hurts? Does yur moomie still wipe yur little ass cuz u a big baby?" Toaster said mocking them. Feeling angered and hurt, Sweetie disconnected from the server. Over on Luna's moniter, Toaster was heard laughing. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!! HAHAHAHAHA" Toaster practically yelled "THAT DUMBASS RAGE QUITTED!!!" Hearing more laughter, Sweetie broke down in tears.

At that same moment, a weird portal appeared in James' room. "What the fu-" he said as he and his computer were sucked in the portal. "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING???" In the chat box it said that he disconnected from the server due to internet problems.

Author's Note

IT IS FINALLY HERE!!!! Well, back to playing Pokemon Go.

The Plot Thickens

"What the fuck just happened?" James asked himself sitting up. He was in the main room in the ruins of a castle. Every thing was either destroyed, had plants and vines on them, or were crumbling. "If I'm not mistaken, I've either been raped by a tentacle monster or" James said, calling upon his pony knowledge "I'm in the Castle of the Two Sisters." James stood up and noticed that he had his computer in its bag, his 12 gauge shotgun his grandpa gave him, a large black revolver (fully loaded with 6 shots) that was almost exactly like the one his grandpa had and let him shoot, and a fire ax wrapped in barb wire. "W-w-w-w-hat the fu-u-u-u-ck?" James said, almost laughing his ass off "I recognize the shotgun and the pistol, but where the hell did the axtinguisher come from?" He quickly picked up all three and holstered the revolver on his right and placed the ax on his back. Looking around, he found a Nintendo themed VANS backpack and hat along with his sunglasses. "Now I'm really confused" James said while picking up the shotgun.

As he placed the shotgun on his back, James heard rustling coming from the bushes. "Dafuq is that?", he whispered to himself. With the ax in his hands, he approached the bushes. Taking his left hand off the ax, he pulled the bushes to the side and saw something that scared him shitless. "Holy shit, a changeling", James said "With regular looking eyes?" The changeling lifted its head and opened its eyes. "Help me" she spoke, with a scared and hurt tone in her voice. James gave her a look that said "What the fuck is this?"

"Why should I?", he questioned her. As she was about to respond, James heard three other voices. "Where is that traitor?" "Find that traitor!" "Come out, come out wherever you are you traitorous scum!" Without even thinking, he grabbed the changeling by the hoof and pulled her behind him. Putting both hands on the ax, he yelled,"OVER HERE, YOU FUCKHEADS!!!" The changeling immediately tried to run, but fell down after a couple feet. "Hey, trust me. I know what I'm doing",he said with a calm tone. Hearing three to four pairs of hooves, James quickly took a defensive stance. "O-okay", she replied, trying to tend to her wounds. Out of the bushes came four changelings, this time with pure blue eyes.

One dressed in armor stepped forward. "Please hand over the traitor or else", he spoke, obviously being weary of James. "Why?" He responded "Give me one, ONE, good reason to hand her over to you." "Because I told you to, you hairless ape" the changeling said. "Wrong answer" James said, pulling back the ax for a swing. "You probably don't know how to fight with tha-" the changeling guard was cut off by James as the ax was placed between its neck and foreleg. Green blood started dripping from the wound. Lifting his foot from the ground, he placed it on the changeling's breast plate. Getting a good grip on the ax, James pushed the changeling with his foot and pulled the ax at the same time. The ax was now out of the changeling's neck and was dripping blood. As the changeling guard fell, blood started gushing out and covered the floor with a coat of green. The female changeling looked in horror and awe as this happened.

The three other changelings got ready to fight. Two of them flew up about five feet in the air while the other had his horn lit up. "This is going to be fun" James said, putting the ax on his back and bringing out the shotgun. The changeling immediately fired his magical blast, James side-stepped and avoided the shot. Cocking the gun he aimed at the changeling and fired. A loud boom was heard and the changling's neck and face were no more. Cocking it again flinged the empty shell out of the chamber and onto the floor. Disorientated from the boom, the flying changelings were hovering closer to the ground. Shoving the shotgun back on his back, he pulled out the revolver and fired 3 shots into one of the changelings. "Two down, one to go", he said pointing the gun at the other. As James did this, said changeling rammed into him knocking the revolver out of his hands. Instinctively, James reached into his right pocket for his pocket knife. He didn't find his pocket knife, instead he found a butterfly knife. Looking at the folded knife, the changeling laughed and started to fly towards him. Time suddenly slowed for James. He unfolded the knife with an amazing trick and rammed it into the changeling's neck. He then used the changelings forward momentum and pulled the knife towards him a little. That little movement of the knife, combined with the changeling's forward momentum, made a big gash all around the left side of the changeling's neck. The changeling's body hit the floor and did a little flip.

"That was fun" James said, folding the knife up "Also, HOW THE HELL AM I DOING THIS??" He then started to do more opening and folding tricks with the knife. "This is amazing", he said, picking up the revolver "Oh, by the way whats your name and what did they mean by 'traitor'?" Looking as if she had just seen god shit his pants after eating too much 'Taco Bell' "M-my n-name is Zeika, and I escaped the Hive Mind and ran away" she said, still shocked by what just happened. "Huh, nnneat", James responded "Well Zeika, my name is James. I have no idea how or why I'm here, all I know is that we should probably get going." "W-why?" Zeika asked. "If we are where I think we are, then the loud boom that was made by my shotgun probably attracted some unwanted company", James said while picking up his things "But, now that i think about it, we are deep in this forest and it will take awhile before someone or something comes and finds us."

Back in Ponyville about 3 minutes ago

"No Rainbow, you can't become a griffin." Twilight said, still annoyed that rainbow was STILL asking this. "Come on! It would be so AWESOME if I became a grif-" Rainbow was cut off by a loud boom coming from the Everfree "What was that?" Twilight asked. Almost every pony was looking towards the Everfree. Suddenly Pinkie popped up. "HE'S HERE!!!" she shouted, pulling her party cannon from seemingly nowhere. "What do you mean by that?" Rainbow asked her. "You'll see" Pinkie said with a smile equivalent to that of a sneaky snake. "Okay then. Lets investigate" Twilight said, getting up out of the chair she was sitting in. "NO!" Pinkie screamed "Not yet at least."

Back to our regularly scheduled shit show

James opened is laptop bag and setup his stuff. He didn't have his power cord but when he clicked on his battery to see how much power he had before it dies, it had a little infinity symbol where the percent should be. He checked his phone, and it too had infinite power and service. "Well, that's good, now I don't have to worry about my things running dead." He double clicked on the game 'Left 4 Dead 2' opening it up and found a game in progress. The server was named 'TEST'. He looked at who was in the server, lo and behold it was the people he made fun of in TF2. "This will be fun" He said, clicking 'Join Game'.

Author's Note

Well here it is, chapter three of this shit show. Now if you excuse me, Imma gonna take a nap now.

The Part Where More Weird Shit Happenes

As James stood up, he looked. He looked at Luna like he just seen god shit his pants twice in a McDonalds bathroom. "How the fuck, why the fuck, and who the fuck?", he said, still dumbfounded by who was before him. Luna walked towards him, being very weary of him. She stopped about a half foot in front of James. After what seemed like an eternity, Luna broke the silence.

"Hello, I am Prince-" she got cut off by James. "Holy fuck, am I dead?", he questioned "There is no god damn way that this is happening." Quickly reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his emergency candy, opened it, and began eating it. "Okay, I can still taste Gobstoppers, thats good." He then went on a checklist of 'Making Sure I'm Alive' and passed with flying colors."I have determined that I am not dead and, in fact, somehow got here to Equestria" he thought out loud.

"Wait, how do you know the name of this place?" Luna questioned him. "Simple, I can't tell you otherwise the entire universe will collapse in on its self and implode." He answered "or you will look at thing in a whole new light and have to be sent to an Insane Asylum." Upon hearing that she made a mental note to not tell Twilight about this, remembering how she almost lost it trying to figure out 'Pinkie Sense' and whatnot.

"Okay, then. I'm going to assume that you know who I am then," she said, still confused on what he knew and how he knew it "I shall take you to Ponyville to meet the-" Once again being cut off "Really? Just like that? No letter to have someone make preparations?" he asked. "While you were doing that thing you were doing, I sent a magical telegram to Twilight telling her to make room for two guests." Zeika looked up, confused by what was going on before her eyes. Luna saw this and reassured her that she was welcomed with open hooves in Ponyville, having received a response from Twilight. "We must hurry if we are to make it before nightfall," Luna said "And I never did get your names." James quickly introduced both him and Zeika to her as they walked out in the Everfree.

Meetings and Greetings

As the trio were approching Ponyville Luna stopped, turned to Zeika and said,"You might want to disguise as something." She nodded and disguised as a familiar Cyan Pegasus. "That won't work, you'll be spotted immeadiatly." She again nodded and the went on disguising as the rest of the Mane 6. "Do you know any other disgiuises besides the Elements of Harmony?", Luna asked her in a annoyed tone. "No, I've only ever seen those six ponies..." Zeika said while looking like a sad puppy.

"I have an Idea", said James and quickly pulled out his phone. He scrolled down to a picture. "How about this?" He asked, holding up the device to Zeika, "I'm deffinitly sure there is no one that looks like this in Ponyville" It was a picture of a neon pink pegasus mare with an aqua blue mane and tail. Her eyes were lime green with a single rose as a cutie mark.

"I-I'll try", she said. Conjuring as much magic she could, her horn lit up a bright and vibrant shade of green. A magic green fire cocoon shot up from her hooves and quickly enveloped her whole body. The whole process took about a good 2-3 munutes, causing James to sit down and take a more thorough look through his backpack, which was suddently the one he used for school. Upon opening it he found all 5 of his hats, a fuck-ton of shirts, his 3DS case, and the military combat knife/bayonet his grandpa gave him. Satisfied on his find, he gets up from the rock he sat down on and notices what looks to be a banner in the middle of Ponyville steadily moving twards the "Welcome to Ponyville" sign that wasn't there the last time he looked at the town(which was about a minute ago).

"What the fuck is that?" He askes, pointing at the banner which was just planted. "It must be Pinkie Pie" Luna answered "Twilight probally told her and the other elements when I sent the message."

"Oh, that makes sense, I guess" He said, turning his head to Zeika's fire cocoon which turned a darker green "When do you thik she'll be-" James was cut of by Zeika.

"Done" she said, looking like the pegasus James showed her. "You look amazing" he said, admiring the changling-turned-OC "Now, Let's-a-go" He said, doing his best Mario impression. Luna nodded and took the lead. It was a fairly short walk to the town, well to James it was. He made it there 2-3 minutes before Luna and Zeika did, but as a somewhat good person he waited fo them.

"What took you guys?" he asked, reciving a glare from both mares. All he did was smile, like the asshole he was. "Well," Luna sarted, "You have a longer stride than us ponies, and less legs to move" James traded his smile for a surprised look that said 'I just recived an intelligent answer to a retorichal question'. James lost the look and turned 180 to face the town. And immediately got a face full of a certian pink blue-eyed mare named Pinkie.

"Well, look who it is. Super-Duper-Big-Meanie-Pants is here" Pinkie said "You got some guts to show up here after what you did."

"Excuse me, WHAAAAT????" the confused human replied.

"You know what you did." Pinkie said back, squinting her eyes.

"What daaaa fhuuuckk" James said, even more confused.

"You know, that thing." Pinkie said, confusing everypony in the croud thaat had accumulated.

"Oh, I get it... I don't get it." James said, with no idea what she was talking about.

"You did that... THING" She said, firmly planting all four hooves on the ground and throwing James off balance.

"I HAVE FALLEN!!! AND I CHOOSE NOT TO GET UP!!!" James yelled, causing the big croud to grow even bigger.

"Come on, stop playing. We both know what you did to her" Pinkie said to the fallen human.

"Oh my gooooooooooood" James yelled, grabbing the attention of a certian purple alicorn.

As Pinkie was about to continue the argument, Twilight teleported next to the still fallen hoomun.

"I DID NOT FACTOR IN THE WARP ABILITY!!!!" James said, reacting to Twilights insatanious apperance.

Looking down at James, she used her magic to stand him upright. Turning to Pinkie, she gave her a look that said 'Go to the Castle with the others' and Pinkie went, causing the croud to disperse some.

"I'm sorry about that, she has been acting weird ever since a loud boom came from the Everfree." Twilight said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" was all James could reply with, mostly because he had no idea what the fuck was going on.

"O... Kay." Twilight said "I am going to assume that you and that pink pegasus are the two guests that Luna told me about." She raised her hoof to Zeika, who was still standing there.

James turned around to see both Luna and Zeika with confused/shocked looks. He had recovered from his dispute with Pinkie enough to nod 'Yes" to the winged and horned mare.

"As an 'I'm sorry for what my friend did', I will teleport both you and your friend to the castle." Twilight said, silently studying the creature before her. In reality she wanted to see what would happen if she teleported him somewhere.

James took a minute to think. "Fuck it." He replied, causing the purple alicorn to flinch.

"If I may interrupt," Luna said, making sure that they knew she was still there "I am going to take my leave. I'm positive that you can handle these two." She said, and vanished the same way she appeared.

"Oh My God!" James said, causing Twilight to wonder how he can manipulate his voice like that.

"So," Zeika said, finally snapping out of the clusterfuck of what happened,"You said you'd teleport us to the castle?"

"Yes," Twilight said, snapping out of her thoughts,"You ready?" She recived nods from both of them. "Okay then. Get ready. I'll do it on three."

"1"

"2"

"3" and with that, the three of them teleported inside of the castle, just behind the front doors. "You O.K.?" She asked the crew of two. She recived a nod from Zeika.

"Am I dead yet?" James said and immediatly fell down unconsious.

"Is he going to be alright?" Twilight asked, with a scared look on her face.

"Pretty sure he is. He did take out 3 very well trained Changling guards by himself." She said, making Twilights face go from scared to surprised. And not even 3 minutes went by before he got back up.

"Well, this is happening." James said "What did happen?" He asked "Nevermind, I remember."

"Well, thats... good?" Twilight replied, confused.

"HEY TWI!!" A voice came from the throne/map room "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET HERE??? I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!!"

"Who was that?" Zeika asked.

"That was Rainbow Dash, she is apperently in a rush today." Twilight said, thinking of what the rainbow maned pegasus could be in a hurry about.

"Well then, lets not keep her waiting." James said, placing his hands behined his back and deepening his voice "Please lead the way" He motioned his right hand twards where the voice came from.

Following his lead, Twilight took lead and led them to the room where 7 ponies and a small dragon were sitting around a table. Upon entering the room, the attention shifted from whatever the conversation was to the very tall creature now in the doorway behind Twilight. A pink maned pegasus tried to hide the best she could in the chair while the rest looked in awe.

"What is that?" Asked 3 fillies who seemingly popped out of nowhere.

"Not what, but who." James corrected them, gaining an even more surprised look from everypony "And who I am is not important right now, but what is important is who are all of you?" They all looked at each other as if silently saying 'You go first'. "Alright, how about this." James continued "I will point to you and you will say your name. Then you will go counter clockwise untill everyone has introduced themselves. Then I will introduce myself and my friend here." Everypony stayed stunned as he raised his hand to his chin. He placed his left arm under his right and stood there, silently surveying the room of ponies and a dragon. "How about..." He stood there in thought "You." He pointed to the yellow pegasus hiding behind her mane. She looked up and quickly looked for anything to hide behind. When she ultamitly failed, she looked down and quietly whispered her name. No one heard or understood what she said. James nodded like he understood what she said. "It's okay, no one here is dangerous... ish" She looked up and saw him giving her a gentle smile. She spoke up and this time everyone heard her.

"M-My name is Fluttershy" she said. James nodded and looked to the pony to her left. Pretty soon he heard names coming one after one. Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Starlight Glimmer, Spike, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.

"Well then, nice to meet you all." James said "My name is James, and my friend here is... Uhh..." He stopped and relised he didn't make a name for the OC she turned into. Quickly thinking he had a name. Not a good one, but it was somthing. "Aqua Marine." he said, then imediatly looked at her as if to say 'I'm sorry'.

The three fillies were the first to approch him and Zeika.

"Your name is weird." Scootaloo said.

"I would go by my other name, but that may raise more rage than friendlyness" He replied.

"And why would your other name cause rage?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Because it would, trust me." He answered her.

"Please tell us, we would really like to know" Sweetie Belle said, looking as cute as she possibly could.

"I am the oldest of four. Cute looks and constantly saying 'Please' don't work on me." He said, being as nice as he could.

"I KNOW HIS OTHER NAME!!!" Pinkie shouted from across the room, gaining the attention of the three fillies, "IT"S A-" She was cut off by the sound of the revolver James had holstered, which was now raised to the full extent of his arm. Everypony was shocked by the loud boom. His head slowly raised up and faced Pinkie with a glare.

"Say it and you'll be with those Changlings I left back in the Everfree." He said, pointing the gun at her. He was being so nice up to this point that the sudden change of mood caught them off guard. Even Zeika was scooting away. All of them looked shocked and surprised. They had found the cause of the boom that happened in the Everfree earlier that morning.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long with this chapter, I had school to deal with and BotW, Splatoon 2, and Paladins kept beckoning me. As for the story, I will finish what I have started.

Greetings and Unexpected Shit Stains

Everypony was in shock, no one had any idea on what to say or do. Looking around and seeing the shock of the ponies, James holstered the pistol and shifted his gaze to the rest of the ponies.

"My apologies, it's just that when I want something to not be said", he glared back at Pinkie "I tend to overreact a bit." He said with such a straight face, not even Applejack could tell he was lying.

"O-okay then" Twilight said after a good five minutes went by "I suppose we all overreact sometimes" Twilight had so many questions for him but couldn't say anything other than that. She quickly looked around the room and hoped for somepony else to say something when her eyes went above him. There was something there that wasn't there before. A small hole, right above where he had his arm raised. To her knowledge, the material that the castle was made from couldn't be dented or even scratched by any tool. Noticing her gaze was above him, James looked up and saw the hole made from the bullet.

"Oh, wow. I am sorry for doing that. Didn't even think, just reacted." he said, causing Twilight to be even more surprised. Thinking fast, she had an idea. Not the best one considering it took 3 seconds to make, but a plan nonetheless.

"Ok everypony" she said turning to the still speachless ponies,"Considering James' wish for secrecy and what just happened, I would like for you to go home and calm down. We will talk about this tomorrow after we all have had some time to think." Everypny looked at each other and nodded, silently agreeing that Twilight wished to question the creature alone.

They all left a bit slowly and were cautious of the creature and agreed that Twilight would have some answers tomorrow. With that, they went back to whatever they were doing before Twilight called them there unexpectedly after reciving a message from Princess Luna.

After everypony left, Twilight was alone with James and Zeika. But before she could say anything, James collapsed on the floor face first. The sound of impact made Twilight jump a little, but just as before he got up within a small amount of time.

"Holy shit" James said,"That was the stupidest thing I could of ever done"

"The fall or boom?" Zeika questioned him, who then recived a look that told her 'everything I just did in the past thirty seconds'. With an akward silence quickly filling the air, Twilight broke it.

"Well, I don't know what to say first. I have so many questions and I-" She was cut off by a single finger against her lips.

"Not now please, I need to process what the hell just happened." James said as he sat down on the floor.

He was now eye level to Twilight. Taking the opportunity to say something, Twilight started with questions. James just answered them and surprised Twilight with every answer he gave. After some time, Twilight aid something she had only just thought of.

"Because you are a diffrent species, and because of what has happened today, would you be opposed to being turned into a pony?" she asked him. Hearing what she just said, James looked at her in confusion "You are taller than us ponies, which would intimidate some, and I think that being turned to a pony would make you less intimidating to everypony else and easier to approach which will get you some friends." she finished off with a smile.

"Well, why the hell not." James said "Might as well look normal then be a spectacle" And with that, Twilight sent messages to Celestia, Luna, and Cadence with all the information she had gathered as well as the idea of him being transformed.

Not long after, she had recived replies from them and were on their way over. She told James that doing a big transformation would require a lot of magic and needed help from her fellow princesses. James just shrugged, but Zeika knew that after the invasion Celestia had a spell that detected Changlings and started to noticably worry.

It wasn't long after that Celestia, Luna, and Cadence were at the castle. James just sat in a corner while they talked and prepared. Zeika was there and was wondering why she wasn't pointed out yet by Celestia, who looked over and did a little mind speaking spell thing and explained that Luna had told her everything when she returned to Canterlot. Zeika did a little sigh of relief knowing that she wasn't going to be hunted or anything and sat next to James and watched him play Pokemon Diamond.

Several hours had passed and night had fallen before everything was ready. Following Twilight, James stepped in the middle of the 'magical ring thing'.

"So, this will turn me into a pony so I can not be a spectacle?" James asked, now questioning his earlier desicion.

"Yes, and will be painless in case you were wondering" Cadence added, putting a little bit of relief in his head.

Taking places around the circle, the alicorns lit up their horns and James began to float in the air. James closed his eyes and prepared for anything. Everypony wasn't expecting what was going to happen though. When the actual transformation started, an explosion happened and knocked everypony back.

"What, happened?" Twilight asked, poking her head out of some books that had fallen on her.

"Not sure, but I think something bad" Celestia replied, wiping stuff out of her eyes. Fearing the worst, Twilight looked at the cloud of smoke.

"Did it work?" James yelled, causing some relief with the ponies.

"It did, try walking out of the smoke" Cadence said, feeling a change

"Alright, lets see the results." James said.

He stood up, but the alicorns looked in awe. A shadow was visible in the smoke, and what stood up wasn't the shape of a pony. It was taller than James was and very thin. From where Luna was she could see spikes on his shoulders and back, as well as a tail. Suddenly, a pair of purple eyes opened and illuminated through the smoke. Tails came off of the eyes that resembled what Sombra's eyes looked like. He opened his mouth and the Celestia saw a full purple mouth with spike like teeth being visible. The smoke cleared and what stood there wasn't what they wanted to see, they saw a pitch black figure that was taller than Celestia. The creature looked around the room. It's jaw opened and Celestia saw that the teeth were its jaw. There were 4 spikes on it's back and two on its shoulders. It's head was a weird shape that resembled a Xenomorph from that Alien movie but instead of rounded at the back, it was a sharp spike that curved. The creature flexed it's tail to reveal a spike at the end and it was just as long or longer than the creature was tall. After what seemed like hours, someone said something.

"J-James, is that you?" Zeika said, slowly inching away. The creature turned it's head in response.

"Yeah, why? Did it not work?" it said with a gravely voice. Noticing this, he looked at the mirror that was on the wall. "Well, thats not what I was expecting." James knew exactly what he had become, and started to smile. Knowing what he could do, James immediatly changed to his pony OC. The alicorns were speechless. "Well, now this looks better." He said, admiring himself. He was now a red stallion with an messy electric blue mane. His eyes were a deep blue and his cutie mark was a toaster oven that was on fire. The fire was a nice green, but odd considering fire is usually orange.

"H-how did, w-what, w-why?" was all Twilight could get out.

"Oh, you guys changed me into my own creation instead of a pony. Now I can do literally anything" He said "Didn't ever think this would happen. It was just something I imagined one day and it sorta stuck" Collecting herself, Twilight started with the question train again. Just as before, he had an answer to everything. After gaining enough information, Twilight just sat in awe.

"Well, considering he answered all we had wanted to know" Celestia said "I suppose we should take our leave." Luna and Cadence nodded.

"Wait, so after all this your just okay with it?" Twilight asked

"As a princess, you need to know what is priority and what isn't. You of all ponies should know this" Cadence said "And right now he isn't our priority." Luna added. "However, please keep me updated on him. I would like you to keep an eye on him and try to give him a somewhat normal life here." Celestia finished.

Taking all this in Twilight agreed, and with that the 3 princesses left.

"Well, that was quick." James said, now back to his 'Nightmare' state "I thought they would have stayed longer considering what just happened. And the fact that this all took one day is amazing as well."

"Well, Celestia told me to try and give you a normal life," Twilight said, facing up at him "and because your now... that. I need you to try and stay a pony while outside. I also need you to get a job, just because you're some kind of shadow creature doesn't give you a free pass." Twilight said, knowing that he would probally stay inside and never go outside.

"Fuck," James said "But as a pony please refer to me as 'Toaster' or 'Toaster Oven' and as this I would like to be referd to as 'Nightmare'" He said, remembering the name he made for the creature he now is. Twilight looked surprised after he said that though, not the Nightmare part, but the Toaster Oven part.

Author's Note

Well, this took longer than it should of. Been doing stuffs and forgot that I was writing a story. Anyway, hope you are enjoying it so far! Will be working my ass off to get the next chapter out.

The Zombie Killing Conundrum

As Luna got ready to test the second game on the stream for Canterlot, Left 4 Dead 2, she wondered what Twilight meant by "A loud boom came from the Everfree". She pushed the thought aside and opened her laptop and double clicking the icon labeled Left 4 Dead 2. After playing around with some settings, she started up the game. She made an open game server with no password and as she got into the game she quickly made a message to Twilight not to let any of the CMC play it and not to stream it. She was nearing the end of the level "Dead Center" another player joined by a name far to recognizable. A Toaster Oven. Before she could do anything, Toaster Oven started talking.

"Hello? Anyone there? I know your here. TALK TO ME DAMN IT!!!", he shouted. Luna quickly responded. "Yes I can hear you. Please don't yell." She responded. "Nice. I need to tell you da ting." He told her "I'm in a castle in a forest and I just killed about 3-4 bug-like pony things and I have a 5th one hiding from the others due to her being a 'traitor'." Analyzing what Toaster had said she told him to sit out and she will come get him.

As he sat there, he wondered why he told her that and what she meant by 'Stay there. I will come and get you.' Before he could ponder anything, a bright, shiny whitish-blue flash appeared a good 2-3 feet from him.

Author's Note

This chapter has to be cut short. Sorry. I'm trying to get a Halloween themed chapter going. I will be working on an extra, EXTRA, long chapter next week. I will edit this and refine it when I get my PC back next week. It's not as mobile as it was. But do expect it to be did done did doed by next week. :)