Know Your Mare

by Crimsion Ink

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1143

A never before seen episode from the hit story " Know your Mare."

In a never before seen episode of " Know your Mare", we have the three hosts and a guest OC named Crimson Ink. Read as she battles the trios wits and comments in a hilarious.

Note: This story is a bit predictable and was mean't to be aired after " Round 2 Pinkie Pie". However, for reasons you will soon find out, it was never seen until today. Also, unless you have already read up to that chapter, not much of this will make ANY sense. Just saying….

Enjoy!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-22 16:04:15 UTC

Crimson Ink

I squinted my eyes as the stage light suddenly flashed on. Light music could be heard in the background and I could barely make out the place where the hosts would be doing  their...something.  Pinkie never did give the specifics on what this show was about. She only said to...what was it? I think it was to make it to where I could push the button that would dump 2 tons of whip cream on them. She went on to mumble something about ' they will pay' and then 'cupcakes.' I really hope they serve some, preferably vanilla.

It was getting really hot and my writing cap was making my creamy,purple mane stick to my head. Brushing it out of the way, I sat down and waited for them to start. Listening really hard, I could tell three voices where talking in that little room with the dark glass in front. In this case, being a pegasus was an advantage as I flew a bit closer to the little room. Setting my ear against the door I could make out what they were saying.

"What's she doing here? She's not even in the main TV show?" I heard one of the voices say.

A younger voice replied "Well, somepony sent a request that she be next and I had nothing against it.Besides, we need something new to spice things up."

But do we know her?

I did look at her blogs, but not much dirt there.

Still, since we already twist and make up stuff about the pony, I didn't think it mater.

Fine, but if we get beat by this mare, the blame is yours.

Wanna bet?

I win and you do Celestia next.

and if I win then you have to be here when we do Luna.

What!, that's not fair!

Take it or leave it.

...

...

Alright, deal!

Good.

Any comment chrysy?

Other than this is stupid...

...No.

Can we get on with this?

Yes.

Ahem...

Know your mare,Know your mare,Know you mare....

Crimson simply stood there with a blank expression.

Crimson Ink....

....doesn't know why she's here.

"Do you?"

...Do I what?

"Know why your here".

Of course! We are here to poke and make fun of ponies.

"And now I know."

PI-I mean, BLANK!

Sorry cap'n.

Here, let me make it up to ya.

Alright, fine. Don't screw it.

Crimson Ink...

....is a bad fan fic writer

"And you say bad stuff about ponies. What's your excuse?"

We...have a studio.

"That's your excuse?

Is there anything bad about that?

"Usually when there is an excuse, there is no good reason"

We have a good reason!

"What?"

Because we can!"

"Can what?"

We can poke fun at ponies...

Pip.

...Embarrass them until they run away in tears...

PIP, easy...

...and do what we want because....

Pip, we need to stop before-

...there is nothing the authorities can do about it!

PIP!

What?

I told you to stop before-

"Before what?"

Nothing...

"You mean, Before he admitted your show was illegal."

He didn't

"So are you saying your show is legal?"

Well, um...no-

"So it is illegal."

I never said that!

"Yes, you just did."

Did not!

"Well, the opposite of legal is illegal. So you said it was illegal.

Did you?

No, well, maybe. Yes? Argh, can't you see! She's toying with our words!

"And doing a much better job."

What was that?

" I said I am better at doing your job."

ARE NOT!

" Bet I could."

Well, Miss Boasty pants, get up here and prove it!

"With pleasure."

The next few moments found Pip, Discord, and a bored Chrysalis on stage.

" Know your 'quus, know you colt, know you changeling....

Changeling Queen please.

"Oh! your a queen?"

isn't it obvuois?

"Well, what make you a queen?"

You know, a title, a crown, a army of loyal minions, a kingdom...

"That's it?

Should there be more

"hmm...

....Queen Chrysalis' way of government....

....has a few..holes in it to me....

Ha, ha! that's a good one!

Chrysalis sat down in a pout.

Crimson's voice was heard again.

"Pip.....

......What are you doing here with these discord?

What? Oh! Well, I like spreading chaos and doing it with my buddy here.

"I see...

....What does you mother say about this?"

I..haven't told her. Yet.

"Do you thin she'd be proud?

Well...no. Maybe?

"What about the princess?...

...would she be proud?"

Please, not the princess.

"Pip, would she? Give me an answer on a pirates honor."

.....No....probably not.......

Confund mares!

"What was that Discord?

I said, STOP picking on pip here. I am the one that brought him here. I trained him. Its MY fault. PICK ON ME!

"..."

...

"Okay..."

"Discord....

...hates Fluttershy."

What! No I don't! We have tea parties and we chat and hang out. We even go on adventures together. WE ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS!!!

"oh....

..so you don't hate her...

Nope.

..You LOVE her."

Discords face went as ready as cherry!

WHAT!!!I do not!

"You don't hate her do you?"

Of course not, but-

"And the opposite of hate is LOVE right?"

Right, but-

"So you love her."

I don't love her in that way.

" You don't love her that way...

....but you do love her."

What!, I mean't. But you said-let me. I..I.. ARGH!

This isn't fair!

You're not even supposed to be UP there!

Yeah, why are we even down here?

She tricked us!

GET HER

It was too late. Suddenly, Crimson hit the button that unleashed 2 tons of Whip cream. Soon, three heads were sticking out of the sugary mess.

She...beat us...

..you win.

Whatever, you still don't have to be here for that episode if you don't want to.

thanks cap'n

I hate you both...

....this stuff is good though...

....whose idea?

Dunno...

The pegasus flew down to the group while trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.

"This was fun. I can't wait to show the others."

The others what?

"What? Oh! did I forget to tell you? I recorded the whole episode. I'm sure there are many ponies who would love to hear of me out smarting you. Especially Shining. Being the captain of the royal guard, I'm sure he will love to hear you admit to this show being illegal. Well, toodles!"

With that, she zoomed out the door.

Whip cream slung everywhere as the trio dashed out the door screaming.

GET BACK HERE

GET HER CAP'N

YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO FEEL MY WRATH!

Pinkie and Derpy popped up behind the stage. They shared a hoof bump as pinkie said, " I knew Crimson was good choice. Don't you think the Whip cream button was a scream?

"Derp"

"My thoughts exactly. Now, for the finishing touch."

Pinkie ran over and picked up the mike.

"Know you know....

...Crimson Ink.

Derp:derpytongue2: