I Was Lost, But Now I'm Found
What does it mean to truly be happy?
That was always the question I asked myself before I discovered what friendship was, thanks to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Well technically, it was the five girls that she befriended when she came to this human dimension. She truly is the Princess of Friendship because the five girls that assisted her in my defeat were the same ones I each drove apart with my lies and manipulation.
Back when I was a unicorn pony living in Equestria--and Princess Celestia’s prodigy student, I only cared about myself and nopony else. I had intentions on becoming an alicorn princess and ruling my own kingdom, but Celestia held me back by telling me that I wasn’t ready and had to be patient.
Not only was I persistent, but very impatient as well. When I wanted something, I expected to get it now--or at least soon as possible. The way Celestia chose her words made it seem like I would never get what I wished at all.
Reacting like an immature filly, I decided that since things weren't going to go my way as long as I remained in Equestria and under Celestia’s wing, the action I took was to flee Equestria by jumping through a magical mirror that led to another dimension. Celestia never told me what this dimension was because she never bothered to go into it--and wasn’t willing to. To me, it was pointless for her to show me such an artifact without the knowledge of what lurked on the other side.
Since I believed Celestia no longer had a strain on me, I entered the portal at my own will and ended up in a totally different body. You could say the transformation freaked me out a bit at first since I no longer had hooves, and that my muzzle was quite tiny and oddly shaped. Not only that, but my horn and tail disappeared, along with my mane becoming longer and thicker. Worse, was that my coat was sheared, leaving nothing but fleshy skin.
What really threw me off was that I had clothing on me that I wasn’t even wearing before I entered the portal.
Thankfully I pulled myself together and did what I could to adapt to this strange new world; and body. However though, I found out that the beings of this world called humans had way more complicated ways of life then ponies do, and that harmony and magic was non-existent among some of these humans. They would argue and shout at each other on the daily basis--even steal from one another.
Terrified, I went back to the portal that was located on the pedestal of a statue of an equine that stood in front of some kind of high school.
When I attempted to pass through, I was surprised to feel a slap of pain to my face when it contacted where the water-like material of the portal should’ve been. It was to my own horror that I realized that the gate was sealed off!
One thing I remember Celestia telling me about the mirror was that it only remained opened for a few days before closing on the third night for thirty moons. In the human world, that meant three years!
I came to terms to accept this as my punishment for disobeying Celestia and abandoning my studies. I screamed and cursed her name while pounding my fists furiously on where the portal used to be. It was quite surprising that it didn’t break or crack under how much force I was putting into my blows. My screams then soon turned to sobs of despairful disdain toward myself, and Celestia. There was also regret, but that was only a minor feeling.
I was then interrupted when I heard a familiar, yet sickening voice ask me if i was okay. It was none other than Celestia’s.
When I turned around to let her have a piece of my mind, I stopped myself when I noticed that a woman with light blue skin and two shades of blue hair was standing at the side of the human version on my former mentor. What really got my attention was the crescent moon symbol that was etched on to the collar of her blouse.
I’ve seen that symbol before when Princess Celestia told me stories of her younger sister, Princess Luna, and how she banished her to the moon thousands of years ago. That was the only time I ever saw my mentor shed tears of lingering guilt. I did my best to show sympathy, but it wasn’t honest or sincere in anyway. I believed that she should’ve just moved on already and stop living in the past. What was done is done.
When I finally put two and two together, I realized that this Celestia wasn’t the one I knew. She obviously had no recollection of who I was, or even knew my name. To her, I was just some stranger who was making an emotional episode on the campus of her school.
When I recovered, she asked me if was a new student willing to enroll at Canterlot Senior High. Of course I wasn’t because I had enough of being schooled, and what if the Celestia of this world was the same as the one back in Equestria? I would be right back to where I started.
I wanted to refuse, but I faced the facts that I had nowhere else to go. I indeed had no home, family, or anyone else I could turn to for helping me feel more comfortable in this world. I had no other choice, so I accepted the other Celestia’s offer who has the title of Principal in this world.
I at first struggled with my new life.
I managed to land myself a low-paying job as a dishwasher at an unpopular and hand-me-down restaurant that was nearly out of business. The boss was cruel and treated everyone like dirt. Sometimes I swear he would pervertly leer at me on occasion which soon lead me to quit without leaving a note of reason for resignation.
I then had to turn to begging which of course never helped me at all. Panhandling was the lowest societal norm of this world. Of course it existed in Equestria as well, but I never thought I would never actually become one of them. My family back in Equestria made good money so the chances of becoming poor seemed impossible.
I soon got evicted from my apartment when I could no longer pay the rent for it which lead me to becoming an official street urchin. This meant that my new home had to be a typical large cardboard box if I could find one. Unfortunately, if it ever got ruined in rainstorms or taken away by the garbage trucks that came around every Friday, I would have to settle for a nearly full dumpster. Sure the smell was rancid, but the bags provided some cushioning, and the lid acted as a mobile roof. I just had to make sure that I wasn’t in the dumpster on Fridays when the garbage trucks come to pick them up to dump and crush the contents within.
Sometimes I had thoughts of staying in the dumpster when it got picked up. Who knows what would happen to the company if they found human remains or blood in the compactor, but at least they excelled at removing a social reject from this world. You could say this was the first time in my life that I went through a phrase of depression that was strong enough for me to think about committing suicide.
My first option was asphyxiation since I was practically living among trash and discarded shopping bags. Second one being to throw myself into the Canterlot River. I wasn’t a very strong swimmer, so it looked tempting to jump into when it was swollen with a fast current going due to the very rainy season.
Fortunately, I never followed through with either choice; even the one with getting crushed by a garbage compressor. I have no idea what stopped me from performing either of these fatal actions, but I decided not to question it so much.
You’re probably wondering now what any of this has to do with me becoming a school bully. Well it’s actually quite simple really.
After I observed for sometime that humans could get what they wanted by acting intimidating along with delivering threats, I knew what I had to do in order to survive in this world until the gateway to Equestria would open again.
I knew I couldn’t have my power on the streets because I didn’t want to run the risk of getting myself thrown in jail for who knows how long--or get myself gangbanged by highly aggressive beggars that possibly were near the area where I had my post.
Since I was enrolled at Canterlot High surprisingly without the need for a fee, I decided that was my best bet.
It didn’t take long for me to get the mojo of a typical school bully.
My first, and most preferred target was a very shy and meek girl with long pink hair and cerulean blue eyes. She did have friends, but it it didn’t make her any more sociable with the other students. The only thing that was known about her was that she worked as a voluntary nurse at the Canterlot Animal Shelter.
Every Wednesday, I would see her standing by the school statue handing out fliers for any student wishing to be an extra volunteer at the shelter. As you can predict, she never got anybody since she was at the way bottom of the popularity list. This girl was none other than Fluttershy: the bearer of the Element of Kindness.
It was a truly sorry sight, and I should have felt bad for her--but I had something else in mind.
As my first maneuver, I decided to just go up to her with the friendliest and gentle smile I could muster so I wouldn’t make her uncomfortable. She was fortunately naive enough to not see past my act.
Once I graciously took a flier, I pointed a finger somewhere behind her and asked what kind of bird was I looking at. Of course I wasn’t seeing a real bird. I was just pulling the “Hey what’s that?” joke on her.
When she took the bait, I used both hands to push her as hard as I could by her shoulders. It was surprising how hard she went down because I didn’t have that much strength in me since I had very little to eat or drink; but by the force of the impact of her face with the concrete, it was like I shoved a lightweight feather with heavy density.
The result was her feebly laying on the ground, sobbing and groaning in pain while clutching her now broken nose. Blood could be seen running between her fingers. There was already some staining into the concrete from where she went down. Not only that, the bite of her lower jaw was knocked out of alignment with the rest of her mouth. It could be treated, but would leave restrictions on how she ate certain foods. One being that she could no longer eat a full apple from her friend, Applejack’s farm without it being cut into suitable slices. This was a challenge at school because Applejack’s grandmother always served the apples full.
If Fluttershy wanted to eat the apple, she had to take small and cautious bites rather than like how it normally could be eaten. It would take Fluttershy hours instead of minutes just to eat one whole apple down to the core. In order to keep the apple fresh, she had to place it in a zip locked plastic bag in order to lock the moisture and gases keeping it fresh trapped.
I should have felt guilty for causing a crippling injury to her--but something deep inside me was preventing me from feeling sympathetic, or to even say sorry. It was nothing like the satisfaction a bully gets from inflicting misery on a victim. The nature of this feeling was far more sinister than any human could feel. It could only be described as something relating to the Nightmare; the same entity that corrupted Princess Luna to become Nightmare Moon.
I never got into any trouble with the facility for what I did to Fluttershy because I could tell by the way the other students looked at me and Fluttershy that they were shocked and purely terrified, which brought the confidence I needed for so long. I then threatened that if they, or Fluttershy herself ever spoke a word of this to Principal Celestia, Vice Principal Luna, or any other faculty member working at the school; I would deliver the same amount of misery and humiliation as Fluttershy was currently experiencing. Miraculously, they understood without question.
I was now granted with the power that Princess Celestia never granted me with. Sure it wasn’t magic, but getting the beings of this world to do what you want brought the mandatory satisfaction I was content with.
The school became my castle, and the students became my subjects. I even got two nimrods by the names of Snips and Snails to be my personal lackeys. It was amazing how easy they were to convince. It wasn’t through my own intimidation though, they seemed desperate for someone to lead them no matter how fair or tyrannical they were. To sum them up in a nutshell--they were just plain stupid.
For three whole years my reign at Canterlot High was flawless; and over that period of time, I let the wish to return home to Equestria slide. I got everything that I could want right here. I even managed to get a boyfriend that I never really loved at all. He was just another tool I used to get more attention. Of course, this relationship didn’t workout for long because he became aware of how truly dark my personality was.
Perhaps I was a little hurt when he called it quits in the relationship, but I showed signs that I really didn’t care. We never had that chemistry between us anyway; and we never grew close enough for the desire of having any kind of sexual encounter like all other teenagers with raging hormones would do.
Still, I would not let this deed of his go unresponded to. I wanted to make him suffer for what he did to me, and not let him live with the satisfaction he got for allowing me to let him go. Unfortunately though, I couldn’t think of any kind of reasonable solution. Stealing from his home or filling his locker with tons of marbles seemed like an old-school way of vengeance for an angry human girlfriend. I had no idea what a unicorn mare would do to an ex-coltfriend of hers back in Equestria--but whatever it was, I knew I couldn’t do it here. The only thing left was to hold a grudge until a miracle or any sort of inspiration came to mind.
I knew that my soul was contaminated with corruption and hatred. Sometimes I swear that I would argue with myself aloud. One side being my state of mind that knew what I was doing was wrong; the other one being of the Nightmare presence.
I had no idea what was inside me at all.
The malicious creature that had dwelled inside my soul for so long had finally manifested itself when I placed Princess Twilight’s crown on top of my head. I should have been terrified of my new form, but I wasn’t. I laughed of pure delight, satisfaction, and unmerciful evil. It was then that I fully lost a grip on myself and that I let this demon take full control. Not only that, but I intended on overthrowing Princess Celestia and any other alicorn in order to become its dominant ruler.
I remember every single thing I did, from destroying a section of the school, to brainwashing the entire student and staff body, and finally attempting to murder Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony directly in front of the school. I knew I would never go that far in actually trying to kill someone, but it showed how far I have fallen. Any part that was left of the real me could only watch through my own eyes without a way of fighting for control.
My soul was finally cleansed when the Elements of Harmony were used on me, eradicating all my hate, envy, and selfishness. It allowed me to pour out all the true emotions I had bottled up inside of me. I knew what regret and seeking for mercy and forgiveness felt like. The eyes that had blinded me from seeking a new direction in life were finally cleared. The only thing left was to make up to everyone that I had wronged--and it wasn’t easy.
The only students that first forgave me were the five Elements. I was in disbelief, because why would they talk to me after what I’d just put them through for the past few years of their lives? Rarity and Rainbow Dash were obviously showing signs of being uncomfortable around me, but didn’t make a big deal out of it--especially Rarity for what I did to her at the Spring Fling; but I’d rather not go into detail on that.
Fluttershy was the second one who blew my mind with her instant passiveness. It is logical though because she does represent the Element of Kindness, but I would never think she would give in to trying to be a good friend. I soon learned that Fluttershy and her family were Christian Protestants. She even asked me if would join her and her parents for a church service.
I was reluctant because surely the news had been spread about my She-Demon incident. If word did get around about that, I would definitely be shunned from joining any church within the city.
Fluttershy explained that their pastor could perform some kind of cleansing ritual on me that involved a book that humans call a Bible, and something called Holy Water. We didn’t have any of these things back in Equestria, but I decided it was best not to question it. If this is what needed to be done in order to make sure that there was no remaining dark residue imprinted on me--and to be accepted into religious practices.
Thankfully, the ritual ran smoothly and I was allowed to attend services with Fluttershy and her family. For once in my life, I felt empowered and confident in myself without the need of hurting others. The best course of action was to help them instead. The first helpful deed I performed was to give Fluttershy a safe apple slicer that she could bring to school. However it reminded me of the permanent damage I inflicted on her. I emotionally broke down once again, but Fluttershy was compassionate enough to wrap me in a comforting and reassuring embrace.
I soon helped out each of the only five friends I had whether it was helping Rarity to model her dresses, or helping Applejack harvest her family’s crop. I even had a great time baking cakes and other desserts with Pinkie Pie. I however decided to stay hidden in the kitchen so I wouldn’t ruin her bakery’s business with my face present there.
It was a fact that the rest of the student body hated me, even after I tried to show a will to help them. They would only respond by either declining my offers or just wordlessly glare with daggers in their eyes at me until I backed away before any trouble started. On a few occasions they would throw something at me whether it being a fresh banana peel, or a wad of half eaten spaghetti. To sum it up, this sort of thing happened in the cafeteria, so it would all be food related.
What was infuriating was that the faculty didn’t do anything to intervene. I have to assume that they had a mutual understanding with the students that this was my punishment for letting me get away with my crimes of harassment, and that the tables were now turned on me.
I didn’t fight or anything. I simply let my former victims throw anything they had at me because I knew I deserved it.
All this hating stopped when I assisted my friends’ band who called themselves the Rainbooms to take down a trio of banished Sirens who came from Equestria as well; and just like me, they were hungry for power and didn’t care who they hurt to get what they wanted--which was to take over this world and make everyone in it fawn over them. This was simply done by using their enchanting voices in order to control anyone who heard them.
With the mayhem they caused at the school, you would begin to wonder if they’re secretly the daughters of Discord.
Now that they were stripped of their powers, I wonder if they would ever think about redeeming themselves in order to atone for the trouble they have caused everyone. Frankly, I don’t know if they ever would, but they should accept they have no other choice. Without any way of getting their powers back, their vengeance against us is denied.
I shouldn’t be thinking about this now because I’m currently sitting down at the dining table of Fluttershy's house, joined by all five of my friends, all ready for a scrumptious Thanksgiving feast.
Incase you’re asking, no I’m not currently living there as my new home--well technically I sort of did until I could raise enough money to buy an affordable apartment complex by working on Applejack’s farm. This allowed me and Fluttershy to form a sisterly bond, and Fluttershy seemed to view it that way since she mentioned to me she always wanted a sister. Mutually, I had the same desire and it made us both the happiest we could ever be!
“Oh no!” I hear Fluttershy exclaim. “We’re all out of stuffing. I need to run to the store real quick and get some more.”
“What?” Rainbow Dash whined. “I don’t think I can wait that long! I’m dying of starvation over here!”
“Rainbow, darling. The store is only ten minutes away from here and back,” Rarity explained.
“Which means I’ll be twenty minutes hungrier,” Rainbow murmured.
“Ah wouldn’t be sure ‘bout twenty minutes y’all,” Applejack stated while gazing at the wall-mounted clock which read somewhere near six-o'clock. “Traffic is very heavy at this hour. Probably worse since it’s a holiday.”
Rainbow just groaned and planted her face into her empty plate.
“I’ll go get it,” I offered. “I know my bike isn’t as fast as a car, but I’ll pedal as fast as I can. At least there are no inclines to face on the way there.”
“Oh that would be wonderful, Sunset,” Fluttershy said with a grateful smile. “But you don’t have to rush.”
“Please do,” Rainbow pleadingly interjected before Applejack put a hand on her shoulder.
“Ah’m sure we can find somethin’ tah tie ya over till she gets back, sugarcube.”
“Like what?”
“How about a chocolate chip cookie,” Pinkie Pie offered with a wide smile.
Rainbow immediately perked up.
“Dessert before dinner? Awesome!” she cheered.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said with a really concerned tone. “You know how she gets when she has way too much sugar or caffeine. If she keeps wearing her shirt over her head like that during her sugar episodes, she’ll stretch out the collar. Plus it ruins the hair.”
“But she’s funny when she’s like that,” Pinkie protested.
“I’ll be as quick as I can,” I interjected before further arguments could be made. “You have my word.”
My friends just wordlessly nodded with smiles of confidence on their faces. It gave me the impression that they truly counted on me, and I really liked the feeling of that. They were the greatest friends that anyone, or may I say anypony could ask for--and I’m very thankful for them as well. If it weren't for them, who knows what could’ve become of me--or I may not have been alive. They are definitely something very unique, and I’m glad to be part of their group.
